Running up that hill

[Stefan Archer]

If there was anything that Stefan had really grown used, it was that silence after a conversation. The one where it was clear both sides of the conversation didn't know quite how to move on with the conversation. It was a comfortable silence for him. It was something that he was used to more than anything. It was the kind of silence that just let him be. That let his mind rest, and his body recover. It was the kind of silence that Stefan found existed in silence, when the professor instructed a task, and everyone within the class, just did the task. Never arguing against it. Not talking. Just silence. It meant he could walk and think while not having to come up with an answer to a question he would rather not answer. In silence there was no lying, no pretending nothing. Just silence. There were times, when silence wasn't a good thing. But, it was more often than not something that was good and that he enjoyed. Stefan looked round to Willow as she broke the silence. He just nodded. There was a shadow of doubt in his mind, when Stefan thought about Kate getting better. He was pretty certain about it. It wasn't like she wasn't strong. He knew that she was. She was stronger than anyone else he knew and while that wasn't that many, to him, she still was. Stefan didn't feel like discussing Kate much more. He missed her company. He missed the way she smiled and laughed. It was odd, he never thought he'd really miss anyone that was just his friend, but it was wrong to assume that Stefan was heartless. "I am." Stefan muttered quietly. He wanted to as much as possible keep Kate and all the other people that he knew in the dark about everything in his life. About how dark things could get for a person. How a small thing would lead to the biggest impact upon everything. It wasn't something that he wanted his friends to know. They were all 12 after all. It wasn't a subject that most 12 year olds should have to deal with. He sure, he could live with it. He'd lived with it all his entire life, and it didn't seem like anything was going to change. But, he didn't want his friends to get in to it. To dig any deeper than the surface. He stopped, when he noticed that Willow had stopped. It was curious to him as to why she had stopped. At first, it didn't make sense, but when he glanced round at her, he understood. And then came the question.

Stefan Archer was stunned into silence. He couldn't lie to her. He didn't notice the way her eyes shone in the light. He had problems making out anything about her. All he noticed was the fact that she looked worried, afraid. He knew worried and afraid, he wore them well. It was just how he had to live at home. But, to see it on someone else, directed at him, made him feel like his father. He wondered if his father saw his fear. Stefan assumed not, because if he saw the fear, Stefan was sure that his father would stop. Give some form of peace. But, Stefan knew he hadn't his father couldn't be that heartless. It was easier for the Slytherin to believe that his father didn't see how much fear Stefan had for his father, how much pain he caused him, and how worthless he made him feel than to believe his father saw it and did it anyway. Stefan held onto the belief that his father just wasn't in the right mind. He needed help, but they had no one and no money. All in all, it meant his father had no one to turn to. And No one to help. When Willow looked at her feet, Stefan felt himself want to just give her a hug. A weird feeling for him, since he could barely take someone's hand without shuddering slightly. "Willow, Don't be." Stefan stepped towards her. He couldn't lie to her, she would see right through him, and that would help neither of them. "Yeah, I did. I can't lie to you Willow. I meant what I said." Stefan admitted, looking from his feet to her and back to his feet. He had to be honest with her. His dishonesty would get him no where, and there wouldn't be that weirdness. He knew that after this she would maybe hate him, but rather to hate an honest person, that pretend a friendship with a dishonest person. He knew it was weird thinking for him, but then he had to be dishonest about somethings.

"I'm sorry I said that. I still care about you, and I want you to be fine, healthy. But, Me, with me, I bring a storm of misfortune and stress. Being my friend has hardly brought you much good. I mean look at what our group has been diminished to." Stefan paused briefly, while he thought of how best to continue. "I can deal with everything that happens to me on my own, I don't want to bring others into it. But, I take back what I said about us never being friends. That was wrong of me. I want us to be friends. I meant what I said at the time, I don't anymore. I'm sorry. And I can understand, if you don't want to be friends. I won't hold it against you." Stefan reached out and nervously put a hand on Willow's shoulder. He had used his unbandaged hand. And it was placed on her shoulder in an attempt to be comforting, but he pulled his arm away almost as soon as he'd done it. "I'm really sorry" Stefan muttered to her, before turning and slowly walking up to the castle, wondering to himself if she would want to be friends, or if she would not want to be.​

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[Willow Autumn]

She was surprised she didn't keel over by now. Surprised that her body managed to go this long without protesting for some sort of sugary sweet drink or food. She was surprised she was still standing here, without feeling faint, without feeling like she was going to smack the earth head first like she usually did, she was surprised that her head didn't protest in the sudden difference of altitude when they were walking down the cliff. Surprised she was still standing here with Stefan making conversation. It's been a night full of surprises, surprises was something she could usually handle but waiting for Stefan's response was a surprise that Willow couldn't handle, she bit her lip - he head still lowered down to the ground, she shuffled on the spot. She was getting cold and thanks to her low blood pressure and shoddy immune system - was most likely going to develop a cold over night. Looks like she'll be going to the Hospital Wing tomorrow for that pepperup potion everyone was talking about. She dug her hands in her pocket, she sighed and looked at Stefan, her expression remaining the same.

He agreed. If Kate found out what she'd said, she was sure that Kate would possibly hate Willow for...well. who knows. She was moping around somewhere, that's all Willow knew. She searched his eyes for his story - the real story, but she couldn't find a thing - not in this light. She knew his dark blue eyes were hiding something. She gave up trying. She reflected over the past few weeks and she couldn't help but think it was living in hell. Everyone was so close last year and now it's changed. Different. Odd. Confusing. It was a joke coming back to Hogwarts, Willow wondered if she should have just taken the year off. She became too attached to everyone, lived for their smiles, cried for their losses. It was tough. Stefan started to speak, Willow gulped. She hesitated.

He meant what he meant, Willow felt like she died inside - it was wrong of her to judge Stefan but she couldn't help think of the supposed forbidden relationship and rivalry between a Gryffindor and a Slytherin. A Snake and a Lion. One Strong and fierce and the other cunning and sly. She hated to compare the two houses, she hated the concept. The only positive thing she could see right now was that he was being blatantly honest. Honesty - something that Willow always appreciated.
He didn't stop talking and she was stunned into silence, her head shouting out that he wasn't misfortune and even if he was stressing everyone out, he wasn't a bad person, he was a good friend - he isn't the bad person that he think he is. He still wanted to be friends. She felt his hand on her shoulder, gone quickly before it came and he apologized before continuing to walk. She let him be, she couldn't blame him for anything.

Sub-consciously placed her hand on her shoulder, she lost her power of speech. She wanted to be friends, she still wanted to be friends with Stefan. She wasn't angry nor annoyed with Stefan. She still didn't understand why he said the things he said, his explanation was words she's been hearing before - nothing new, nothing confirmed. Her ears pricked up the sound of a bell - notifying them that they should make their way back inside before the professors does their sweep of the Hogwarts grounds finding anyone who isn't making their way to bed. Willow glanced up to the night sky, the Moon bright as ever - she still couldn't find her parent's stars. She sighed - the night was still as dangerous as she imagined, secrets and truths came out like she expected. The night was just a cover, she couldn't imagine what day would bring.
"I forgive you Stefan." She spoke quietly as she made her way up the gravel path.