Running up that hill

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Willow Autumn

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★ Missy
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Yew Wand 14" Essence of Fairy Dust
Willow climbed herself up the cliff, even though it was spring.
It felt like winter, the cool wind blowing towards the castle. Trying to balance herself and trying not to fall down the cliff was proving a challenge.
Making her way to the top, she sat down on one of the safe ledges looking out to Hogwarts Castle and the surrounding scenery - it really was such a beautiful place to be. The castle lights shining through the windows. Willow wasn't sure why she was out so late, Dinner would start soon, but Willow didn't feel like sitting at her House Table. Instead, she went to the kitchens and the elves packed her a picnic - she frowned as she was given the basket, too much food for just the one person.

And here she was, sitting on a ledge, gazing down on Hogwarts Castle.
Her mind reflecting over her first week back as a Second Year.
Classes, in her mind, we're going well - there was nothing demanding or hard about it.
Friends on the other hand, that was a confusing subject.
Turns out she was missing out on a lot of things, Kate and Stefan, Stefan, Sara and Kate. Herself and them, she didn't know what was really going on anymore. Her mind casted back when Stefan said he wasn't her friend anymore. She didn't understand. Bringing her knees up to her chest, she sighed. Not really knowing what to do.
 
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<SIZE size="50">Distancing himself from everything that he enjoyed at Hogwarts had been a simple task. What had been difficult was saying goodbye, in a sense to the people he counted as his friends. He knew that he did not deserve any form of sympathy, for how he had gone about it. He'd stooped low, and it had pretty much been a low move, but it had been the only way. In a sense he was pretty much happy that he was now alone, but he was more angry. He wanted to take a mirror and smash it into a thousand pieces. He wanted to tear his dorm room apart from the anger boiling inside him. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that he had to do that to his friends, who really, no longer wanted anything to do with him. He couldn't help but feel angry at the fact that he couldn't be like them. Carefree, and able to spend hours with friends. He had too many issues. His family was not one that he wanted people to know about it. It embarrassed him, that he didn't defend himself against his father. He was angered by the fact that his reflection was like looking at a paper version of himself. Black, grey, white. All that was ever in his life. It was unfair, and he knew it. He believed it. No one in the school was as unlucky as he was. Stefan could pretty much say that. He knew that he was the bottom of the pile. And this was not even beginning to take school into account. Stefan knew that he'd been handed a bad hand in life, but he also knew that it didn't have to be. He wanted it to be better, and he knew he had to be the one to do that. He just didn't have the strength or courage to. And there was another reason why Stefan was annoyed. It seemed any form of emotion he was lacking, had manifested into an intense anger that practically drove him to destroying everything that he saw around him. He wanted nothing more than to break everything. Burn something. Hit someone. But he had to remind himself, that doing anything like that, made him no better than his father. It wasn't there fault or the objects fault for Stefan and his long line of terrible luck. Stefan Archer just needed to remind himself of that fact. It would take a long while before things were back to normal with Stefan, but right now, he was just handling it. Just handling it. Barely. And yet, he knew that there was nothing else that he could do. He couldn't see his friends. He couldn't have friends, because friends lead to caring, and it would lead to hurt. He had completely meant what he'd said to Sara on the first day back. He was just a stereotypical Slytherin, who didn't deserve Kate, and who was a huge dissappointment. Although Stefan didn't want to say it, he knew exactly what he was, and the fact someone other than his father had said it, had really hammered it in.

Stefan Archer had decided for once to head out to the grounds of the school. He hadn't been out much, and hadn't had much reason to. It was just one of those days where he had decided to not follow his daily routine of dorm room, great hall, classes, great hall, dorm room. It was always good to change things, that and Stefan couldn't quite handle the constant noise and the constant moving around of others. He much preferred the quiet peace of his dorm room. A room that he barely left. But today was different he had decided to go out, while all others would be in the castle. Well, almost everyone else would be in the great. Stefan Archer was cold, as soon as soon as he stepped out the school. His jumper was not that thick. It was old too, but, it wasn't thick. It was pretty thin. He could feel every gust of window, chill his entire body. But it was a sort of cold that Stefan was used to. It wasn't like he had a second warmer jumper. Stefan had that jumper, and only that jumper. He pulled down the sleeves after putting up the hood. Stefan was pretty self-concious. And it had become more so as he'd realised that others saw him, more than he saw them. The one real difference between this Stefan and the first year Stefan, was that the bruises were a lot hidden, and he spent a lot more time hiding them. Stefan's bruises this time around were all pretty hidden by his clothes. And he had one bruise on his face not to far from his eye. His hair hid a cut that was on the side of his face. What wasn't hidden, was the cut on his hand, that was taking a lot longer to even begin healing. Writing things for classes had caused the cut to reopen several times. Stefan had had to rechange the bandage almost every day. It was why, no matter how much it hurt his wrist, he'd begun writing with his left hand. Stefan was actually left handed, but his father hadn't ever wanted Stefan to use his left hand, so in the few times that Stefan had written at home, he'd had to use his right hand. It was most likely why his writing was so bad, on both hands. But, on his left hand, were bruises right around his wrist, and although slightly more hidden a cut that was both deep and big. Further up his arm there were serveral little cuts, that were from Stefan being pushed against the door. He'd also gotten a small bruise from that. But, Stefan hid as much of them as possible. He hated seeing them, and they lead to too many questions. He was always better at answering questions about why he was so skinny. He was not so good at answering questions on the cuts. Despite the cold, Stefan made his way to the cliffs. An area Stefan had never visited, mainly because it was high up, and he was not a fan of heights and because he really just didn't go out all that often. He heard his stomach rumble as he walked. He was hungry, but he could wait to eat. Stefan had that talent. Waiting for food. Stefan Archer was good at that.

The air seemed to get colder with each step that he took. He wasn't sure how close he would go to the edge of the cliffs. He wasn't sure if he would even be able to make it a metre close. Stefan had known that it was a dangerous place, and as much as his life felt like nothing, he had no desire to die. None. Stefan just kept his head down, looking up every so often to be sure, he wouldn't accidentally walk off the edge. As Stefan realised that he was close, he also realised that there was someone sitting at the cliffs. Stefan didn't want to talk to the person, who ever they were. But, he had to walk closer. Since he did actually now want to sit at the cliffs. It was as he neared, that he realised who the person was exactly. Willow Autumn. A friend, well, he wasn't so sure anymore what they were. He still cared about her, but he wasn't sure if she still felt the same way. Stefan thought about going over to her, apologizing. But instead, he walked towards the center of the cliff, where a singular tree stood. He sat down carefully at the bottom of the tree, and sighed to himself. He looked out to the empty space that followed the cliff face. His eyes every so often, glancing up to the castle, that stood to him, in shades of black white and grey. He heard his stomach rumble once more. He ignored it. And leaned his head against the bark of the tree, his hands at his side, picking on the strands of grass on either side of him. Stefan knew what he was doing was for the best. He just knew it. But he kist couldn't get over the feeling that he had, that took over him, like a blanket every day. Loneliness. Hogwarts had been a place for Stefan were this didn't exist, but now, it did. And Stefan had it everyday. He just believed that it was for the best. What he was doing would be for the best. Stefan's eyes were drawn up to the sky, that was slowly darkening, very slowly. He didn't know why he enjoyed looking up at the sky that he could barely make out. It had always been where he imagine his mother was. He didn't even know her name. Stefan blinked furiously as he felt his eyes water. He couldn't be that weak. Stefan had to hold it together. Stefan Archer sighed once more, it was all a lot more difficult than he had thought.​
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Willow sighed and drank in cold air.
She had to admit, she was starting to regret to retreat to the Cliffs, it was freezing and she highly doubted that the elves had packed her a flask of soup in the basket. Curiously she peered into the basket; laughing to herself that the elves did indeed pack her a flask of soup (and by the power of elimination, it was vegetable soup), some crusty bread and a what seemed to look like jelly cups for desert. She rolled her eyes, the elves thought she was going to be dining with someone else tonight and so there was two of everything. Closing the lid of the basket she returned her gaze to Hogwarts Castle. Everything seemed to be in a mess and by now some students were also talking about what they would like to do when they left Hogwarts. Willow wasn't sure, she still couldn't get her head around this magic business and nor did she understand any of the technical words and languages until she had to look it up in the library because she was too embarrassed to ask. Music on the other hand was more easy to understand than Magic. It was a fact. Willow didn't know what she wanted to do when she left Hogwarts - she didn't even know what career paths in the Magical world would lead to.

Her ears pricked up to the sound of rocks cascading down, as if someone was coming up the cliffs as well and she couldn't deny the unmistakable sound of crunching stones. She turned around and squinted into the darkness. She couldn't see or make out the person who was nearby. Sighing, she retreated back to her thoughtless mind. Running out of things to think about. Even being in a far off magical place (and sitting at probably the most dangerous place in Hogwarts other than the Forbidden Forest) can cause one to loose things to think about.
Casting her mind back to the previous week's delima in the Great Hall she pondered if she'll talk to those people again. Sara, Kate and Stefan. She still had an annoyance towards Sara for treating Stefan so horribly and she couldn't really blame Kate for walking out, but she still cringed when she slapped the food tray down and left a deathly silence in the Hall. As for Stefan, she wondered if she still considered him as a friend. She bit her lip, maybe he didn't mean to act the way he did, may be he did, maybe he didn't. She wasn't sure.

She closed her eyes, she wondered what the stranger was doing up here on the cliff also and if she knew them or maybe they were out for the same reason Willow was. Curiously, she decided to do a bit of poking around whilst trying not to fall off the cliff itself as she was the clumsiest person she knew. Picking up the picnic basket she sneaked her way around the cliff and came across as tree in the middle, keeping her distance she squinted and tried to make out the figure who was sitting underneath the tree. The stranger seemed a bit thin and she couldn't help thinking she heard the sound of a stomach rumble - she knew it wasn't her stomach in the first place. Creeping a bit closer she squinted again and cocked her head; "Stefan is that you?" She whispered out loud amongst the cold breeze. She wasn't sure why she was whispering, but it just happened to feel right.
She wondered if he'll respond if it was Stefan and she was half expecting a 'go away, leave me alone' sort of reply. She wasn't sure if he did end up saying that, if she'll leave. It was cold and it was getting dark, she couldn't help think it'll be pretty dangerous for him to be alone in a dark place, especially since it was the cliffs. Willow was a Gryffindor. She was going to be brave and approach him nevertheless.
 
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<SIZE size="50">It was cold on the cliffs. It had made Stefan in the moment he sat there regret coming. He was cold, and though the cold was something he was used to. It wasn't something that he liked. How could anyone like the cold, he didn't know. Although the cold to him, was another winters night in his room, with no heater, and an open window. He knew that most would hate that kind of thing. But Stefan put up with it. He had a pretty cool body temperature and he put up with it, but at school, he had the option to be warm. And yet he didn't take it. He hadn't taken the option of being warm. In a sense the cold was something that felt a lot more familiar with. He knew it wasn't a good thing to be familiar and used to the cold more than the warmth. But, heating was another thing that his father had chosen Stefan didn't need. It was a wonder that Stefan wasn't always sick. That he wasn't constantly coughing, or sniffling. It was a wonder that Stefan had a perfectly functioning immune system at all. When he'd been younger he'd gotten sick a lot easier, but now, thanks to many things, he wasn't as sick as often. It was definitely a good thing. He knew that it was something that the school doctors could fix. It also wouldn't take that long. Stefan knew that the hospital wing probably had something to deal with cuts and bruises, but, he didn't want to go for that. It would raise more questions than it would settle. It was a difficult thing to learn to balance. If he was worried about anything being broken, he would've gone. But, as far as he knew, he had a lightly sprained wrist, and a few bruised ribs. But it was nothing that he couldn't handle. It was pretty surprising to him that in his life time, he'd not actually broken that many bones. His left arm once, his right wrist once, and a few ribs. It wasn't as much as most would think. But, it still was more than most. Stefan looked out at the sights in front of him, and sighed to himself. He was wondering what it would actually look like if he could see the different colours. It was becoming more difficult for Stefan to make out much. It was getting dark, and darkness did not bode well with Stefan. It made things very difficult for him to see. It was as he considered leaving, that a voice spoke.

Stefan looked down at the ground as soon as the words were spoken. He stopped picking at the grass, and blinked the tears that had been threatening to fall before away. He had to have a front. But, he couldn't be bothered. He was cold, and he was hungry. And he wanted the company of a person that wasn't some randomer that he didn't know. Stefan took a deep breath and looked up. He didn't smile, or frown. But, he met her eyes. His eyes were glazed, clearly wet. He wasn't that good at hiding his emotions. His dark blue eyes, spoke volumes for the anger he felt and the sorrow he was currently feeling. He knew that in a sense, she knew more about how he felt than most. They had something in common. The loss of family members. He wondered if it was more difficult to lose a mother when a person was 2, or if it was more difficult later in life. Stefan had reasons for finding it hard, but he hadn't known his mother, where as she had. He didn't bother saying yes, or doing anything, instead, he moved over slightly. And returned his gaze out to the cliff's edge. It was his way of saying she could sit down. He looked down at his hands and he brought them, to sit on his lap. The scar left had barely visible to him, in the growing darkness, but the bandage on his right hand, as clear as day. He didn't look up to see if she sat down. "I'm sorry" Stefan muttered to her. He knew that he was going against what he had been trying to achieve, but, Stefan knew that he had to apologize to her. Like he would have to, to Sara and Kate. He just would have to wait. Right now, Stefan wanted the company of a friend, and since they were friends, he knew apologizing was the best thing to do. "I really am sorry" Stefan knew that apologizing would to little. If she didn't want to be his friend, she wouldn't stay, but he did hope that he hadn't lost her as a friend. As much as he knew friends were bad, he was still human and he still needed people. It was lonely without them. He sighed to himself and waited to see if she would sit or if she would walk away.​
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"I'm Sorry...I'm really am sorry"
The words rang out like bells chiming it was midday. Willow couldn't help but feel a little relieved and perhaps a little sad. She knew this must have been hard for Stefan to apologize - especially in this weather.
Making her way over, she sat in front of him, she saw the glossiness of his eyes and could tell he was crying. She couldn't help but think how weird it was to see a friend cry in front of her, crying made her feel weak and exposed but it also made her feel that everything was going to be okay. She was happy that Stefan apologized and perhaps even happier that he was letting his emotions out. As her Uncle would have said better out than in.

"Stefan...it's..alright, I've forgiven you ages ago." She spoke softly, she wanted to give him a hug but she didn't know how he would react. She gave him a sad smile, it was freezing up here and he wasn't exactly wearing the thickest of clothing. "You look freezing..." She noticed and it was also rather obvious. Both were shivering cold. Remembering the soup, she opened the picnic basket and gave Stefan one of the flasks of soup and bread. "Soup. That'll warm you up." She nodded to signal Stefan he can eat in her presence. Usually, her cousin would always complain that you shouldn't eat infront of someone if they didn't have anything to eat, but Willow was worried he'll catch his death - still regretting why she came to the Cliffs in the first place.

"I know what happened in the Great Hall wasn't exactly...pleasant. And you said some things that really hurt and I've already forgiven you. I'm not the person to hold grudges. What happened between you and Kate and Sara isn't my business so i'm not going to ask. But...is everything okay?" She asked, it was the stupidest question that one could ask - of course, he's not fine. He was shouted down at by two girls a few days ago and she didn't even know if she wanted to know where all the bruises and the cuts come from and where his anger came to form. She never seen Stefan so angry before, she didn't know he could have that much anger built up, he was usually so quiet and to himself. Maybe it was just some sort of release he needed.
She shuffled and leaned against the tree beside Stefan. She wondered what it was like to live in a world without colour - a world that only shown in shades of grey and never being able to see how magical it is to see a rainbow after a rainfall. Surely, the magical world had a cure for colorblindness right?
 
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<SIZE size="50">Stefan felt pretty vunerable. He was just sitting, with a friend in front of him. He wasn't exactly feeling as bright as a day could be. Whenever he thought of his mother it caused tears to form in his eyes. He hadn't really ever cried at Hogwarts yet. It had always a good thing within Stefan's life. But he was weak and cold. And that combination lead to a break down of Stefan outer most defensive wall. He tried to always think of something that would help make him better. But When Stefan did think of his mother and how she had died before he'd ever gotten the chance to get to know him. It was just the way things were and although most of the time, Stefan could live with it. Could put up with, there were times when everything just came down. When he'd been younger crying at night had been a regular occurrence. It was just when he was beginning to become aware of the world around him. And how unfair things seemed to be for him. He had been confused. Unsure what he'd done wrong. He had at times been so upset he'd wished he'd never been born, but like the tears they came and went and the next day began. Stefan looked to Willow, he wondered if other people would handle his situation better than him, or if they would've handled it like he was. There was no real way of knowing. Since he really did hope that she would never ever have to even come close to feeling or being treated like he was. Stefan was maybe a Slytherin, but he would not wish his life upon anyone. Not even his worst enemy. It wasn't something that he felt any person should feel. Yet he knewhe wouldn't actually be the only one to experience what he did. Stefan looked back the ground and took a deep breath of the cold air. He sighed slightly. She didn't really seem angry any more. Stefan hated really noted her as angry but she had been pretty upset. And he was glad to have the chance to apologise for what he'e done.

Stefan was cold. Freezing even. But he'd ignored it. He didn't want toncatch a cold but it didn't matter to him. He was glad to hear that she had forgiven him. It surprised him that she had forgiven him a long while before. Stefan hadn't expected that. He had expected her to yell him. To shout at him. Tell him he'd acted horrible, but that he would eventually be forgiven. Stefan had somewhat prepared for that but to hear that made him thankfully that he knew people lime Willow. Of course he had no intention of repeating what he'd done. He was glad that she had forgiven him. Despite him thinking he'd still done the right thing in the beginning. Now, he was reversing what he'd started to do, and he didn't even care. He knew then that friends were better. Or at least one person. He felt anger boil inside him at his confusion over how to deal with her friends. He could care but they weren't to care for him. Saying sorry to Willow was not something that would lead to her not caring for him. Stefan looked up as she offered soup. He was hungry, and he was cold but he noted that she was too. Stefan knew that he was hungry but now faced with foodm he wasn't feeling it. He didn't want it. "No, it's okay." Stefan replied only briefly glancing up at the girl. "You look freezing too." Stefan added quietly tugging at the sleeves of his jumper he was thinking about giving it to her. He knew that it would mean that his arms would be exposed but he didn't want her to be cold because she'd chosen to sit out with him. She had that condition, he didn't want her to suffer from whatever it was on his watch. Mainly because he would have no idea what to do. "I can give you my jumper? I mean you can wear it until we go back. You have that illness, I don't want to be responsible for making you sick. And I'm used to the cold." Stefan looked up once or twice. No smiles, but he hadn't lied. And was pretty serious about giving her his jumper.

Stefan leaned his head against the tree and let his eyes glance up once more. She was speaking. Saying that he'd hurt her, he knew that, it had been his point. But hearing talk, reminded him of the differences between Gryffindors and Slytherins. Generally he didn't like to compare houses, but every so often it was too clear to pass up. Gryffindors were forgiving and loyal. Slytherins would have gotten even. It was why he was glad that they were in different houses. He knew that it was in some ways annoying but in other it was a good thing. He looked to her as she asked if he was okay. He let a small smile creep on to his face at the question. "Am I Okay?" Stefan repeated. He looked down at his hands and just smiled. It was a funny questions, because despite the constant pain from almost all his body. His never settling emotions that were very much all about anger, he was at Hogwarts and that meant he was okay. But for others they would find how Stefan was to be completely awful. But each person was different. Stefan had learned this "Define Okay," He asked. The smile was gone, but Stefan felt more comfortable now. Stefan picked a few strands of grass and looked at them. "It's always felt weird to me, to be told grass if green, but people forget that I have no idea what green is." Stefan muttered. There was a small anger in his voice as he spoke. "Are you Okay?" Stefan returned the question actually wanting to know the answer. If they were friends, he knew it was right to ask such things, and he assumed that Willow would be pretty honest in her answer. He looked to his bandaged hand and decided that the cold air would be good for it. Not to mention it would help it seal. "Sorry" Stefan repeated as he pulled off he bandage and flexed his hand. "So?" He added as he put away the bandage. The so was directed to his early question as to if she was okay. Stefan looked up and met her eyes. And felt a smile almost appear on his face. It felt good to talk to someone.​
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Willow stared at the sky, it was getting pretty dark and she can start to see the stars twinkling through the darkening light.
Stargazing was one of those things that always made Willow smile - they were beautiful but distant and she was told from a young age that her parent's souls would be one of those stars shining down on her, it was one of the positive things when night fell but at the same time she hated it. Darkness and night was one of those things that made Willow feel uncomfortable, it was the point of day where secrets and truths come out to play and unfold. Predicting tonight would be one of those nights and she wasn't sure if she was ready to hear any of it or not. Willow was feeling a little ashamed, she wasn't sure why. She felt a little guilty for turning her back to Stefan and Sara at the Great Hall, she wondered what happened if she ended up staying at the table and see if it made any difference, maybe everything would have turned okay if she just stayed but no, she just up'd and left, without hearing anything.

She watched him refuse the soup and was offered to wear his jumper. Willow blushed a little, although Stefan wouldn't be able to tell in this light or..at all really and Willow refused politely; "No, no thanks. I'm fine and you can eat that whenever you want. I'm sure it'll stay warm. After all it's magic. not like I understand that...I'm used to the cold anyway. Used to sit outside at home to look at the stars anyway, uncle and aunt said something about my parents souls are stars now so...yeah." Willow nodded towards the picnic basket, referring to her comment about the food. Feeling a little embarrassed they were thinking about the same thing and both hoping they won't catch a cold. She bit her lip, she was sure she heard him say something about an illness; "Illness...huh..hang on, Y..you weren't there?" Willow looked at him, her eyes glittering in the approaching moonlight, she was positive she didn't see him there. Unless someone from the group told him later on, how could he actually know.

Confused, she returned her gaze on the grounds of the cliff, it wasn't as rocky as it suggested.
Stefan talked about his annoyance of being told that the grass was green. Of course the grass was bloody green. It was green all the time here at Hogwarts. Even in the harshest of Summer days and it remained so in the Autumn, even in Winter when it was covered in Snow it was green. Willow could only imagine of people telling him the color of things, it must be annoying after a while. He returned the question, Willow cocked her head and let out a small laugh "Defining the word 'Okay' is like trying to define what magic really is" She gave another small laugh and shook her head in disbelief; "I'm sorry to ask you such a stupid question. I find the word 'okay' somewhat worthless. It's just one of those words that's just ambiguous in meanings." She watched him take off the bandage on his hand, it looked pretty painful as he flexed it. He apologized, Willow waved the gesture off. She didn't mind. "I heard Essence of Murtlap would be good for cuts and uh bruises by the way." She read it in a book. Wondering if Stefan would try it. Hoping it'll take away the pain at for at least a little while.

"But uh...in response to your question. I'm fine, but life is just as confusing as...well. as being here at Hogwarts to be completely honest." She spoke the truth. She was confused about her life and she was still deciding if Hogwarts was making it more confusing than necessary - mainly because she was in the presence of her friends all the time, her illness had nothing to do with her life - it wasn't as much of a problem now that her friends, it was just know each of her friends have their own problems and no one knows what to do or say. It seemed like growing up was just tough luck, Willow had no idea how anyone could manage it without getting a little angry or upset. She looked at Stefan and met his gaze, as he was meeting hers. It felt odd, she was starting to feel a little happier that she ended up here on this deserted Cliff after all.

 
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<SIZE size="50">It was getting to the point were Stefan could barely see. He didn't usually stay out this late, but then, it was just once everyone so often. He would have to take out his wand for light. His type of colour blindness, dented almost every bit of his life. There wasn't much that wasn't effect by it. He didn't do much to be reminded that he had the poorest eye sight out of most students in the school. He had problems seeing in the light, and in the dark. He had at times problems making things out, or telling the difference between objects. Like he had no idea that apples came in both red and green. He had no idea that there were blackberries, and rasberries. He'd seen them, but they had looked the same to him. It wasn't like he'd actually tasted them, so he didn't know that there was a difference. He did know the difference between limes and lemons. It was pretty easily to tell the difference between the two of them, He could smell it. One thing that Stefan had realised since coming to hogwarts was that, while his eye sight is poor. He had pretty sharp hearing, and he had a great sense of smell. It was as if, his mind knew that one of his senses was hugely deficient, and was there for making up for it, by having the others be pretty decent. Stefan looked up at the sky once more. He wanted to ask Willow about her parents. He wanted to know if he was alone in his feelings towards having lost his mother. It was an ever lasting thought. What if. What if. He hated that term. It made him so angry. Why did a normal life have always start with What if. He wanted to just live. And yet his mind reminded him that his life would be better if even the smallest detail was different. So many things angered him lately. There was a small sub-concious fear that he was becomg somewhat like his father with each turn of anger, but he knew that no matter what would happen, Stefan would never hit anyone. He didn't want to become his father. But, he knew that they were related and it was almost inevitable that he would have some of his father's traits. Stefan imagine the picture of his mother in his head. It was obviously black and white. But, he picked out that she would have dark brown hair, and blue eyes. He always imagined her to have a nice smile, and a nice laugh. Stefan dropped his gaze to the floor, as Willow said that she didn't need his jumper. He was pleased, if he was honest. He hadn't really wanted to give her it, but it was the gesture. He took the soup and let it sit on his other side. He was now sure that at the point when he returned to the school, that the dinner would be over, and Stefan didn't feel comfortable asking the creatures in the kitchens for food. Not any more. He was like them in a sense at him home. He made some of the meals for his father. He wasn't very good at cooking, which was despite all his practice.

"Souls in the sky? I can believe that" Stefan whispered, his gaze going back up to the night sky, which was to him pitch black. He knew that it was properly very pretty. But, he didn't know and would never know. He did believe that his mother was among the stars. "It's really the only way I can even connect with my mum" He just said. He didn't have anything of his mothers. He had one small necklace that had belonged to her, but his father had found out he'd had it, and taken it from him. So now he really had nothing. The part of him that was his mother, was the only thing left. Staring up at the sky was something that actually in a sense comforted the slytherin. It was a good way to speak to his mother. Even if the conversation was one sided. It was just that way. He blushed a deep red when she said that he hadn't been there. It was true in a sense. He hadn't been with the others, but, he'd been there. Up the tree, and hidden from them. "I was there. You didn't see me. It's pretty easy to make yourself disappear if you want to." Stefan had pretty much mastered the art of disappearing when he needed to. He could be more silent that a feather on the air if he needed to be. Stefan had learned to do this, and it was something that he was actually pleased that he could do it. Most wouldn't find it great, but He pretty much loved it. He didn't meet her eyes, he didn't want to appear too weird. He was a little embarrassed now, since he hadn't even properly check to see if she was okay, But he had had to check to see if she was okay. No matter what he'd said, he still cared. He wanted to be there for others, so they could see him in a positive light. And if he didn't return one time, remember him in a positive light. Stefan gave a small sigh. "Sorry" Was all he said to her. He wasn't sure why he'd apologized, but it had seemed like the only thing he could say. Stefan stared down at the grass. It was one thing that he loved the feel off, weirdly. It was brittle when on its own, but felt like a comfortable carpet when he brushed his hand against it. Grass was definitely an odd thing in Stefan's books.

Defining the word okay, was pretty hard for any person to do in general. He had problems defining the word. He wasn't surprised. For him, okay was what he had there and then sitting with Willow. Yeah, the magic confused him. Yeah, he had problem keeping up in classes, but that didn't mean it was actually bad, In fact Stefan pretty much enjoyed everything right now. Although he was alone, it was a good feeling. He knew that no matter what, he would have the school and the food. He was muggleborn, so he could be excused for not understanding wizarding things, he was just picking it up as he went along. Stefan looked up as he flexed his hand. The cut stung sharply with every movement, and Stefan had to stop himself from wincing in pain. It didn't help that the wind made it feel like the cut was opening rather than closing over. He looked at his hand, the cut itself was a little red, but from what he could see, it would be fine. It was actually healing, he just knew it would not help the scar that was going to form. He sighed slightly, while stopping flexing his hand. He nodded as she spoke. His focus was more on his hand, but he nodded along as she spoke. "It's not a stupid question to ask me." He stated simply. Stefan looked up at her, and smiled slightly. "Why, would it be?" Stefan looked away. He was keeping an eye on his cut. Magic was such a different thing for him. "Life is confusing. Hogwarts is too. But, without this place...I owe a lot to the castle" Stefan said quietly. He was pretty sure that he owe his life to the castle. It was a slightly depressing thought, but it was true. "Things could be worse, and they could be better. How is life confusing for you?" Stefan asked, both curious but also because he'd heard that for some talking things over helped them. And while Stefan didn't want to talk about himself, he was sure that others might. If Willow wanted to, then he would listen, the thing about Stefan was that when all things were considered, he was actually good at being there for someone. Because he was able to sit for hours while the other person spoke. No one had ever experienced that with Stefan, but it was one of the things that Stefan was good at. It also helped that he barely judged anyone. He couldn't considering his person life. "I heard talking things through helps them be less confusing." Stefan gave a small shrug. He wondered why he always felt comfortable around Willow. It wasn't the same way with Kate. With Kate, things easy, and she made him feel better. It made him doubt himself, and strive to be better. With Willow, it was just comfortable, it felt normal. "You don't have to" It then struck him that since he'd asked for information from her, that she would very well return it to him. A fact for a fact. Stefan sighed, and looked out to the cliffs, seriously hoping that, that would not be the case.
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Night was falling, Willow wondered how hard it must be for Stefan to see in this light. She wondered if he could see the twinkling of the stars and the luminescent brightness of the appearing moon. She sighed, happily and tried to find the two brightest stars in the night sky, thinking it is her parents souls shining down on them. "You believe souls in the sky huh?" Willow murmured as she gazed, she contemplated at the moment how many people think it was funny that she believed that a soul was to become a star but here was Stefan thinking it was alright. Stefan spoke something about connecting with his mother, Willow was sure she picked up in the subtle hint about his family, if it was a hint that is. She didn't really know must about Stefan's family, he knew about hers but she didn't know about his, funny that. Thinking over her words carefully, she finally spoke; "I'm sure your mum would be proud of you." She spoke quietly, there was truth in it too. Although Willow hardly knew Stefan well, she was sure that his mother would be proud of the person that he's beginning to become - even if he was going through a rough point in life at the current moment. She slouched against the tree, the cold breeze wasn't becoming an issue anymore, she was used to it and for now she was feeling very content.

Willow shrugged; "Don't worry, it's okay. I guess it is pretty simple to make yourself disappear...kinda like when you wore that mask at the Yule Ball huh?" She didn't mind at all, she wondered if she was too laid back about it. A 'normal' person would be angry and confrontational and ask why their friend wasn't there when they needed them. Willow didn't mind because she didn't want to make people worried about her. She remembered the time where her Uncle and Aunt called for a 'family meeting' and spoke openly about her parents death, it was as if it was some therapy session for Willow and wanted her to release her inbuilt anger and depression, but it only made Willow feel more excluded from them. Even if they were family. She remembered the time on her tenth birthday, the year where she was craving to know more about her parents and her family and even though she can remember a little bit, she craved to know what they were like and if they had any little family traditions. It was coming to the point that Willow wanted to know - even if it did hurt. She didn't want to see photographs, she wanted to hear the stories. Only because it made her feel closer to her parents. She looked back up at the stars and wondered. She wondered what her life would be like if her parents would still be alive today - would she be into music and into baking like she was today? Would she be as kind-hearted and free-spirited, academic and hard working? She came to the conclusion that she is who she is today because of her surrogate family, and that made her feel a little sad inside.

She cleared her mind and listened to Stefan. He owed a lot to the castle. Willow wasn't particularly sure why he would say that. The castle is a school and a home. Willow nodded and understood. She remembered the rough times back at home and how she would learn to love school and escape the miserableness of home, the school became a protective barrier of her real true feelings and then crushed when she returned home. Even though she loved being at home, something about being at school just made her feel better - as if she was running away from the world and into a world of her own, a world where she got to control what would happen. "Talking helps. It really does" She nodded and sighed, wondering if she should just bombard him with her problems and feel better but then later on feel guilty for the fact that she laid all her problems on him when obviously he has problems of his own. She felt like it was one of those win-loose situations, she wanted to help him but she didn't know how and she'd highly doubt she'd be successful at coaxing him to tell her his problems.

Willow sat up and gave a small snort of laughter; "you know. When I came here, I was excited. Not just because of magic but because i'd be running away from all these problems and feelings I had at home. I mean...my aunt and my uncle and my cousins are so nice...but I feel like...i'm not part of them, even though they're family." She folded her arms and thought about how this time last year she wanted to call them mum, dad and even brother. She shook her head and continued rambling; "But now. Everything is confusing just because it is. Friends, Classes, People we like. Dislike." She spoke quietly and then realized what she just said; "And by friends, i'm not talking about you...it's like. You want to help someone, but you don't know how...or you don't know how to react...you wonder what they think of you...sort of thing." She knew she should stop by now but she wanted to add another point; "And classes...magic...Hogwarts is amazing but...to be honest. I just feel kind of lonely here." She lowered her head, she spoke with her heart. Willow was surrounded and friends with a lot of amazing people and she bonded and made wonderful friendships, but she just felt lonely. She could never find Christopher, her childhood friend. She knew she had a crush on him, but because she hardly saw him, she didn't know if she would ever able to tell him how she feels and now she was starting to loose her feelings towards him. Willow groaned and looked up and gave a small smile at Stefan; "Well. That's my rant over...thanks for listening".





 
The moon to the Slytherin was something that was just a white disc in the sky. It was something that was always there. There had been nights, where from his bedroom window, Stefan Archer had just stared at the sky. He would stare for hours on end. Having a silent conversation with the moon in the sky. It was easy that his mother was up there. He knew that she was always looking over him. Even if there seemed to be no protection. He still knew she was with him. Stefan glanced to Willow when she said that his mum would be proud of him. He shock his head slightly. He doubted that his mother would be proud of him. He wasn't the best example of a son. He hated that he was so weak, that he did nothing to defend himself. Perhaps in time, when he broke free then he would give her a reason to be proud but, for then and there, Stefan was feeling that he hadn't done enough to show his mother that she could be proud of him. He had been weak. He had so much anger. He was pushing away people that he cared about. He shook his head once again. Just talking to himself now. He knew that she meant well. And there was no real way of knowing if she was or wasn't. He hadn't known her. She had been in his life for such a brief time, and it wasn't like he remember that time of his life. Stefan just let out a small sigh. He was sure that one day he'd meet her. He looked away from the sky as Willow spoke again of the yule ball. He had been too curious about the event in the first place to have not gone. But he hadn't had anything to wear. The mask had been a good idea, although it had practically made it impossible for him to see. The darkness of the room had also meant that Stefan had pretty much been walking around blind. He did actually let himself smile a little when he thought of the Yule Ball. It had been a lovely little festivity. One that he hadn't ever known about. Christmas was something that Hogwarts had told him about. He'd heard people talk of family traditions, and he guessed his was not doing anything for it. So much so that Stefan didn't even know what the event actually was. He didn't know of it's importance and what it actually meant to the people around him. To Stefan it was just another day. Just another day where he got beaten up. There was simple way of explaining it. Stefan didn't really mind not celebrating the holiday. It was majorly important to him, but he knew he sounded silly when others asked what his plans were and he had had to ask what Christmas actually was.

The dark blue eyes of the boy drifted up to the castle once more. He knew that he owed a lot more to the place than he would ever say. Without it, he didn't know where he would be. If he would be. He would be still stuck in the rut of not knowing where his life was going. He didn't even know if he would've made it to his 12th birthday. Each day was more a blessing than a given. At hogwarts, Stefan knew he'd see the end of the week. He knew that no matter what, he'd see the week through. He knew that his mind could think of other things, like school work. Friends. There weren't thoughts like, what will I eat tonight. How quiet should I be. Can I go for a shower. His life was simpler at Hogwarts. He life was easier. Despite the fact that magic was all around him all of the time and that the magic that he could do was confusing and weird and made him wonder how earth he ended up with such powers. He had to always be pleased that he had the place. That while it wasn't his home, it was the closest thing that he had ever come to feeling like he belonged. And that was really was saying something. Stefan had real trouble figuring out where he belonged. Sometimes he thought he belonged with the stars. "If you are talking to the right person." Stefan replied. He had never had anyone to talk to. His father would never listen. And it just ended up, that Stefan stopped talking. He didn't want to start talking incase he didn't stop. Or the person wasn't interested. It was why, he much preferred letting others speak while he sat in silence. He listened a lot better than he spoke. Stefan nodded along as Willow spoke about her family. And hogwarts. There were similarities in how Stefan thought about the school, and how Willow thought. He hadn't believed that hogwarts existed until he'd actually arrived. And it seemed like a great escape from his father, but now he had to live with the fact that while he was without his father, come every holiday, his father would be a constant reminder that he had that to look forward. School was not an escape but, a break from everything. A time where he could just breathe. He could always just breathe in Hogwarts. He wasn't sure what he could say to Willow to make her feel better. He wondered if she even wanted to go into everything, or if it was just one of those times, where it was just to be mentioned and then left forever. He didn't know what words of wisdom he could say to her. "I wish I could say something to help you. You can always rant to me about things." Stefan looked up at her. Shrugging slightly.

"I think life, is just meant to be confusing." Stefan said, looking out to the lake. He thought life was confusing and unfair to him. But, he knew that his life couldn't get much worse. And in a sense that made him feel like he'd eventually be able to lead a happier one. Stefan shrugged again. "They are still your family. And it can be hard to fit in with them, when you know there could've been something more. But, at least they will always be there for you." Stefan knew that he could basically rely on no one. He had himself. And maybe now friends. But, friends just weren't the same as family. "I know what you mean about feeling lonely here. I'm a Slytherin with no magical background. I'm practically not a wizard to them. But, most don't even know I exist." Stefan was trying to explain how he felt about the school. But the words were difficult for him. "I'm not good at ranting. I'm not great with words." Stefan gave a small laugh and looked up at her. It was clear he was struggling to find the words to describe the school, but, he didn't want to say too much. He wanted to get most of it off his chest but he couldn't and wouldn't. To him what he was doing there and then was him being open and honest. "I came to Hogwarts thinking it was all a joke, and as much as this entire place is confusing, I'm worried it will be taken away from me. My father and I, we don't have much money. So, this place was like winning the lottery." Stefan met her eyes and then looked away. He'd been honest. "Sorry" Stefan then added, thinking that he'd said too much. And that he didn't want to burden her with his problems, when she did have her own.​
 
Willow laid her head in her hands, watching the world go by. She started to hum, no song in particular, she just liked to hum when she was looking out at pretty scenery - even if it was dark and the moon was illuminating a small section of Hogwarts. Realizing she was humming, she stopped abruptly, she knew she was capable of agitating people with her small habits; "sorry.." she spoke and looked away, feeling a little embarrassed. She sighed, their conversation was small, but it had a lot of meaning - she practically got to know Stefan a little better and she didn't feel so guilty for not spending as much time with him as a friend.

She listened to his story, most of it she could agree to.
Such as his idea of Hogwarts. Willow didn't even know about Hogwarts until the letter came. She never really got mail and it intrigued her, especially since it arrived by Owl. The paper wasn't paper that she was used to, it was parchment - thick, yellow and dense and the envelope was sealed by a brightly colored red wax stamp of the Hogwarts Crest - the type of seal you'd expect to see in the olden days. She remembered how she opened the letter and how the first few lines said; "We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into Hogwarts New Zealand, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry...." Willow remembered the memory, it was such an odd day. Her Uncle refused to tell her that she was magical until the letter came. Maybe it was because he wanted her to live a normal life before everything turned upside down and back again before she attended Hogwarts, or the fact that he was scared that she wasn't going to be the same person that she, after all he was only trying to be protective of her.

"I came to Hogwarts thinking it was all a joke, and as much as this entire place is confusing, I'm worried it will be taken away from me. My father and I, we don't have much money. So, this place was like winning the lottery." Willow looked at him and gave him a smile and nodded, she didn't feel sorry for him nor did she feel angry that he didn't have much money in the first place. "I get the idea of how it's like a lottery here. You get fed whenever you want, you can do whatever you want. You have freedom here. Back at home, you're back at a routine...and don't feel bad or upset that you and your father don't have much money to live on...sometimes, I think, the less you have, the more you appreciate the simple things in life and learn lessons of survival and all that" Willow looked over at Hogwarts Castle, she can imagine the hundreds of other students stuffing their face with all the food they would want and then downing it with whatever desert they fancied. "My uncle told me; what doesn't kill you - only makes you stronger. I still don't understand that...I remember going to Kate and Sara's house in the holiday, it was..massive. over whelming. I can't imagine living in such a grand place...i'm happy living in my house, small...cramped...the paint is peeling but it's home, I guess" Willow reminiscence the time of the house-warming party, she couldn't help think it was a failure, she didn't feel comfortable being in such a large extravagant place, especially when there were people serving you. It felt weird.

"You're not alone. You'd think being in Gryffindor, people would expect you to know what magic is and that you can perform spells already. Be perfectly honest, I avoid the common room and only go there when I need to sleep." It was the truth, Willow hardly spent time in her own house, even though it was placed in the tallest tower of the castle, showing off it's magnificent views. But it didn't feel like home to Willow. She coughed and stretched, thinking that tomorrow she would regret spending this long in the cold. But she didn't mind, she was able to bond with Stefan for once, and be around someone who wasn't so outgoing, it aloud Willow to explore another side of her self - the mellow, quiet side that hardly comes out. She wanted to say something to Stefan, it has been in her mind since she first met him, hoping it'll bring him out of his shell a little bit. Taking this risk she breathed in and exhaled and looked at Stefan seriously; "You know...if there was anything you needed to talk about or...just needed someone who'll listen to you...you can come to me you know? I really don't mind...Sometimes, I feel like I bombard my problems or insecurities with everyone and I never really felt like I could return that favor so...I'm just saying, um..if you ever needed a friend or someone to lean on, I'm here for you." She gave him a shy smile. She wasn't sure if he was comfortable about it, but at least what she said was out in the open now.

OOCOut of Character:
Sorry for the ton of dialogue. My muse is starting to run low. D:


 
OOCOut of Character:
Okay, this is might be a little all over the place. I kept getting distracted.


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<SIZE size="50">It was odd for him to be that honest. It was odd for him to talk about himself that much. But he was tired. He was worn out. He couldn't be bothered being all behind his wall. It was a hard thing to do. It was a hard thing to maintain. Especially when with someone. He didn't know what it was about Willow that made him feel okay and comfortable. With Kate, he was always afraid that he would do something to push her away. That he would say something or do something that would mean he'd really lose her forever. He was afraid that no matter what he did, that she wouldn't want to be with him. That she would realise that he wasn't good enough for her, that she deserved someone better than just him. Stefan knew that it would be a matter of time, before she was convinced by others that he was no good for her. Stefan knew it. Nothing that good ever lasted that long for him. And he knew it really was just a matter of time. Obviously he hadn't done much to help the situation. He'd pushed her away on purpose and told her to leave him alone. And this was exactly what she'd done. What he'd worked towards. Stefan sighed as he thought of it. He hadn't even noticed that Willow had been humming. His mind had wandered to Kate. Although, Stefan knew that a friendship with Willow would be worth his while, he was also aware that if he did lose her friendship, it wouldn't be the end of the world. However after this, he was sure that the friendship they had was a little stronger than it had been before. He'd never been that honest or open with anyone. He just usually nodded along with whatever was said and just tried to talk about what it was the other person was talking about. Taking what they said, and basically saying the same. Stefan knew that he was more or less lying when he spoke to others. But with Willow, his more honest side, had come out a lot stronger than the other. It was slightly weird for him. But, it caused him to smile. He looked up at Willow as she began talking and smiled. It was a small smile, he didn't have happiness gleaming in his eyes, he didn't look like everything had changed for him, like he would be honest always. The smile was one that showed they had a friendship. And that Stefan actually liked her company. Stefan looked back to his hands as she continued speaking. Just nodding along. His routine at home was one that wasn't exactly great. He had to admit, he did appreciate the little things more. Like a new day. A sunrise, though he couldn't actually see it. Warmth. Food. God, how he appreciated food. Lessons of survival was something he could claim to have learned. He knew how to take care of himself. The basics. His father limited what he did. "I can believe that. The simple things. Survival. Having things slightly easy, would still be nice. Okay, what little thing do you appreciate the most?" Stefan asked her, actually curious. He already had his response ready if she asked him.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger That Stefan didn't really believe so much. His father had almost killed him. Well, was heading in that way. If Hogwarts hadn't come about he might have. But, Stefan didn't think it made him stronger. It filled him with fear. He just got scared. Because it reminded him that his father was the type of man to not be crossed. It made him remember how he got the different bruises and cuts. It reminded him, that his father probably would think twice about killing him. Stefan shook his head slightly. kate and Sara's home. He'd seen a picture. He'd never seen anything so grand. He wouldn't have minded living somewhere like that. Even for a little while. it would be a break. "She showed me a picture. I think she thought I was joking when I said that you could fit my entire house in her porch. I wasn't really. I mean, it wouldn't be much bigger." Stefan gave a small laugh. "I think it would be nice. Even if it was only for a little while. I do a lot around our house, it's small but, it gathers dust really quickly, It would be nice to have someone to help" Stefan did everything around the house. Anything his father asked him to do he did. In a bigger house, he'd have places to go. Places to call his own. He knew that it would be overwhelming but, to him it would be nice. Stefan knew how it was to not know the spells that he was meant to. Stefan was just sure that he'd catch on eventually. He'd work for it. And he knew he'd get it. "I'm sure you are very good at magic. I'm not getting a lot of it. Plus, it takes me a long while to even write one sentence. So I'm far behind everyone else." Stefan shrugged. His mind told him to ask if Willow wanted to be his "study buddy" someone who he could practice spells with, without feeling embarrassed that others would laugh at him, for not being able to. Stefan thought against it. They were friends, but they weren't that close. And Stefan didn't want to over step. Although he didn't really know what would count as over stepping. He'd never been very good friends with someone, while also being so honest.

The dark blue eyes looked up to Willow as she took a deep breath and spoke. He wasn't quite sure why she was saying this to him. But his eyes darted quickly to his hand and then back to her. He just shook his head. He knew she meant well, but he knew he had to start being stronger. Working harder to be able to fight back. It did make him smile that he had that. That she was at least offering it to him. He had never had someone outright offer for him to be able to talk to. He felt a little weird if he was honest. He wondered how much she assumed about his home life, and how much was right. Stefan looked up at her and smiled. "You didn't bombard me." He said. "I don't need anyone to be there for me. Or to lean on. Friends are good, but, my problems are not worth discussing and don't go much deeper than what you already know." Stefan knew what he said was somewhat harsh, and not really very true. He knew she'd probably pick up on that but, he wasn't at the stage to just be able to talk about things. He just was getting used to having friends. And being a little honest. If he was then to suddenly start talking all about his problems, he was sure, he'd push her away. "Thank you" He whispered. It was a nice offer, and he would remember it. "Willow, why would you say that to me? I'm curious. I'm new to the whole, people and friends thing." Stefan looked at her and smiled slightly. Hoping she wouldn't mind answering his question.
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Willow nodded and understood - not everyone wants someone looking after them, but Willow felt obliged to be there for Stefan nevertheless - whether he knew that or not. She tried to answer Stefan's question, but the words wouldn't come out properly; "I..I don't know. Maybe 'coz..." Willow struggled to find the words she wanted to say, "I..well, you know. Sometimes you have things to say but you don't want to say it outloud because you're afraid of hurting someones feelings and after a while..it kind of drives you insane because you really want to say it to them or..you know...that voice in your head starts agitating you and you need to...let it all out. vent, scream, cry...or you just want someone to listen to you, without judging your decisions or the way you acted, just an ear to hear you out..to make you feel like someone knows what you're going though...sort of thing" Willow shrugged, she didn't know what she was really going on about, it was possibly the longest answer to a question she had ever replied to - and couldn't help wondering if she confused Stefan along the way, re-thinking she added; "Long answer short, people just say that to make people feel better, but they also mean it too - friends care about each other, even through worse times." Willow shook her head, she was the one who talked too much and she was starting to feel that, at that moment. Talking to much instead of listening or thinking of the other person. She pondered on the moment, it felt like they were getting somewhere, she wasn't sure where that somewhere was.


She re-positioned herself, sitting cross legged, still leaning against the tree. It was becoming darker, and she couldn't deny the fact that she, herself, was starting to find things hard to see. Lazily, she grabbed her wand from her pocket, swished it in front of her and whispered; "lumos" The tip of the wand bursted with bright light. Willow groaned, her eyes wasn't used to such bright light in a dark setting, realizing that it was probably worse for Stefan, she mumbled an apology and placed the wand on the ground, placing her hat over the tip to dim the light. "Apparently, everyone knew that spell when we came here last year...apparently." she emphasized the last 'apparently'. She had no idea what lumos was or any of what the other students knew. Everyone assumed Willow would know a lot of spells and charms and other things since she was the one who seemed to pay attention in class all the time - sitting in the front, being the one who answers the questions. "And everyone assumes that i'm good at magic because...well. I'm not. I spend much of my time trying to catch up. Crazy as that sounds." her voice dripped with annoyance and her mind casted back to the potion lesson when they had to try the mystery potion, her judgments and knowledge weren't always right. Trying to remind herself that she's not the only person struggling with magic, she commented; "You'd think they'll...actually do something about people who come from no magical background instead of overwhelming them. I guess we non-magical background people have to stick together and try to learn off one another."

Willow picked a nearby daisy, lazily picking the petals off them, Her mind casted to one of the school rules, something about how they weren't supposed to be out this late and they were supposed to be back in the castle by now to ensure everyone's safety. She ignored it, being outside and having a deep conversation with Stefan was more than enough of a reason to stay out, she knew as soon as she'd walk through the portrait into the Gryffindor common room, the commotion would be loud, people playing wizarding games and listening to the wizard radio, loud chatting and the voices of gossiping. Sleep would be impossible until later on, and even so - Willow was usually the last one to go to sleep. At that moment, she forgot to answer Stefan's previous question; "Your question. The little thing that I appreciate the most." Willow paused, it was a hard question. There were a lot of small things that she appreciated - the sunrise to represent a new day, a fresh start in life, the ring she wore that her adoptive family created to remember her parents, the feeling of when she's asleep to distract her from the real world, her friends. "..The little thing that I appreciate the most..is probably moments like this. When your able to just sit down and just talk. talk about anything and whatever without feeling insecure. Getting to know someone better because of it and that feeling of when time stops and you can breathe for a while...does that sound stupid? Willow sighed, she liked these types of moments, she only wished they last for eternity. she threw the remainder of the daisy away. She breathed in the cool air and for the first time since the end of the holiday, felt truly relaxed.
 
There was a part of him, a small part that wished for him to just talk about what had happened in his life. To just come completely clean. He knew that it would be pretty hard to take it back if he did say it, but the fact someone had offered, made his mind actually think about taking up the offer. He had to remind himself that it just wouldn't work. That talking would not help the situation, but just make his life completely different if the person he told, went ahead and told someone else. It would be a domino effect. Of course if he told someone what his father had done, that they'd have to tell someone. And it would be easier for them, since it wasn't their life. But, Stefan had never had any form of outlet before. He'd just had him and the silence. The silence was in a sense his way of venting. Not so much anymore. As he thought about it, he didn't have a way of venting. The anger he felt was just building up inside. And he struggled to keep a hold of it. He didn't want to lose it, but he knew anger was in his family, and things just made him so angry. He wanted to destroy everything around him. He didn't want to have to live with things so tidy when he knew life to be so messy. He wanted to show people what it was like to be colour blind. But he knew he never could, and this just made him angry. Everything made him angry. But, he wouldn't let it take over him. Not yet. Not when he was around someone like Willow. And never if he was with Kate. But, hearing what Willow had to say, he realised that maybe, just talk would actually work. To be able to listen to someone talk and then not judge or think badly of them. Stefan did that. He could judge anyone else, because he didn't like judging. His father judged him, and he'd be more like his father judging those around him. Stefan gave a small sigh. He wouldn't judge people. Not ever. No matter how angry he got, he might think badly of them, but judging that was something he knew and would fight to never do. And that was a fact. "Don't think or judge, just listen." Stefan whispered. He thought that phrase was probably the best way to describe what she was saying. He postive, it had been a little confusing. He wondered if she really meant it. He figured that yes, because it seemed to him, like they were friends. But, he wasn't sure and willing to believe that her, or any friend he might get, would actually stick with him, through thick and thin. "Well, I guess, I should say, I'll always be there for you. If you need to talk or rant." Stefan looked up briefly and then back down. "I do mean it" Stefan knew that no matter what he'd be there for her. He didn't quite know what it really meant but he would be.

A bright light suddenly filled the area, and Stefan felt like he was being completely blinded. He raised a hand and covered his eyes from the light. Closing his eyes at the same time. He knew it would actually do little to help, but he still did it anyway. Thankfully the light was dimmed and he could open his eyes. It took a little bit for them to adjust, but, he just nodded with her. He'd been surprised on the first few days to see fellow classmates preform the spell before they'd even gone to classes. He had only been able to wave the wand around and nothing would happen. He wasn't too bothered. It would've been nice to have some assistance, but then he was used to picking things up for himself, it had just been something else for him to learn and do. He gave a little sigh and just nodded slightly. "At least you can write well." Stefan muttered. He looked to his hands. It was weird to say in a sense that he couldn't really write. He had real problems writing. Sometimes he got letters wrong. He was getting better. It was just taking time. Although, he was doing pretty well. When Stefan had arrived at hogwarts he could barely read, and barely write. Now, he had a slightly lower than average reading level and writing level. He'd improved greatly and while to others, knowing how to read and write were things that they'd known to do when they were 5. When Stefan was 5, he'd learned to stay silent. Which of the floorboards on the stairs creaked, and that standing on chairs to get food was a dangerous thing. "We do stick together. Non magic background folk." Stefan just nodded. Most of the people he knew was of non magical backgrounds. It made him smile that he did actually stick to people like that. Stefan wondered what it would be like to be pure of blood. Surely it would be just like normal. Only it meant you were 50% more likely to be a Slytherin. Well, he actually wasn't entirely sure if that was true. He just sort of assumed it to be true. His eyes watched as Willow picked apart a flower. He glanced back to his hand. And then went into his jumper pocket, and pulled out a new bandage. He couldn't leave it in the open too long. As she spoke, he redid the bandage. Wincing in pain as he put a small amount of pressure on it. He then, using his mouth and hand, tied a knot.

"Not stupid. No" Stefan said. He could understand why she would like moments the one they were having. If Stefan was honest, he could say that it was another thing he liked. But, Stefan liked a lot. This was just one of those things that really did stand out for him. "I agree. It feels safe." Stefan added. "For me, the little thing I appreciate the most, is a new day which you could say isn't little. Waking up in the morning and being able to live another day. Knowing I made it through the last. Knowing a new day meant possible new beginnings. I guess in a sense, I'm thankfully for life. For the air I breath. It sounds cheesy, and like I spend every day facing death" Which he couldn't help but think that at home he did. "And it's depressing, but I appreciate life. Like someone would appreciate a best friend" Stefan knew that saying that he appreciated life was weird. But, he needed someone to know. So they would never think, no matter how bad his bruising and cuts got that he would try to find a way out. "And food. Bread. I love bread." Stefan gave a small laugh. "I could eat bread for days on end."​

OOCOut of Character:
Mehh, sorry. Lacking some muse right now
 
"Don't think or judge, just listen....You said it better than I did." Willow gave a small laugh - maybe it was better to explain things more simple. She stargazed again, trying to find the brightest stars of the night, but she could barely find them, usually she would have found them instantly and spent the rest of her thoughts having a one-sided conversation with the stars. "Well, I guess, I should say, I'll always be there for you. If you need to talk or rant." She looked at him and nodded; "Th...thanks, that means a lot to me." She gave a slight smile and blushed, she wasn't really great at taking on compliments or even words of encouragement. She was used to being the person who gave compliments and encouragements and the odd advice. She hugged her knees and wondered what the year entailed; "It's going to be an interesting year huh?" Willow commented, although she wasn't sure what Stefan was thinking at the moment, Willow couldn't help think of the challenges everyone is going to go through - especially since they were to decide on subjects they wanted to pick up for their third year.

Willow leaned back, her head resting on the trunk of the tree and stayed silent - deep in thought, she wasn't really sure what to say or do, she was enjoying just sitting there and watching the world go by and time slowing down for a while. She looked at her watch; by now the students were starting to leave slowly from the Great Hall - full and fed, and making their way to their house dormitories, the student club areas or the student lounge - for a final moment of chatting, playing games and laughing or perhaps finishing off their last minute homework. The Library was due to close and Hospital Wing would refuse visitors - something about letting their patients have their rest. Willow and Stefan were still outside and - if caught by a professor or a staff member by now; they would be getting their detention outline and then sent straight to their common room. She smirked, something Stefan said made her smile; "I can write, yes, but that doesn't mean I understand what i'm writing." She clapped her hands together and laughed. It was true, she had no idea what she was writing half the time, at least the notes would help later on in exams. "And I don't feel as bad because I know someone else out there would have no clue what they're on about - even if they do come from a magical background."

She listened as Stefan rattled off what his appreciation was; she was curious to know what his appreciation was - everyone who comes from a different background in life was bound to have a different view on the world and what they have appreciation for. She couldn't help but nod along as he said he liked new days and new beginnings and she started grinning by the time he pronounced his love for bread; She grinned at Stefan; "Bread is underestimated, it's amazing. I love it when it comes straight out of the oven and it's all warm and you put a little bit of butter on it. It makes me all happy, just thinking about it." Willow giggled and continued; "But no, I don't think it's cheesy if you appreciate life...it just makes you appreciate it more. If you are able to breathe, avoid death and be content about living a new day and a new start each day then surely, the world must be alright." She smiled at Stefan.

 
</SIZE>
<SIZE size="50">Stefan would neer claim to know if whatever he thought was necessarily true. That what he said was completely right. He knew that whenever he said or did anything that there was this very big possibility that he would be wrong. His father had reminded him many a time of the worthlessness that was the thinking part of Stefan's brain. It was why, now he found it so difficult to express himself. He could only ever say small sentences that would to most mean close to nothing. He always tried and failed. It was just the kind of life he had to lead. It wasn't one he liked or wanted, just the one he had. Stefan knew that he had to learn to see past everything, but right now, everything was exactly what he got angry at. The fact he couldn't have a normal conversation with a person without hitting a brick wall of fear and nerves. He wanted to tare everything around him apart. He wanted to feel shards of glass crash on the floor. He wanted to hear the smash of the chairs and the tare of books and anything within his reach. His heart told him to be violent, but his mind instructed him to be silent. And it just felt like an inner battle and all Stefan wanted was for the yelling within him to stop. He wanted to be able to sit with someone. And just tell them everything. But he would never. The mere thought of a person's reaction if he did tell them, was enough to put Stefan mind at ease if for a little while. It was silly and stupid and he wanted someone to talk to but, he could see how the conversation would go. In the end, the person would barely be able to look at him without feeling sorry for him, or wanting to tell him that the world wasn't such a terrible place that the horrors in his life were at an end. Of course there was nothing he would be able to do but sit there and tell them that he'd be okay. That he had managed to make it this far, nothing else could make him think that everything would be okay. He knew one day it might just be. He didn't need people to tell him that things would. "It sure might be. Still early days." It hadn't really struck him, that ever so slightly he was beginning to grow up. Slowly, but more and more he would have to decide his future, and this was something he was very much wary of.

There was a feeling inside him that he should be going. That they should be heading indoors. He hardly wanted to be caught outside after hours. Although he was a Slytherin, he just couldn't bare to lose house points or face the possibility of being removed from the school. Not to mention that he'd then have to walk through a full and noisy Slytherin Common room. He would ignore him, but there was really only so long that could go on for. They would eventually pick on him. That was what slytherin did. Stefan sighed to himself. He wanted to go back in, but then he also wanted to go back outside. He was at a loss. He looked up at the castle as she spoke again. He was sure that she knew a lot more than she was letting on. He believed that she was a lot smarter than what she said, and that really she got a lot more than he did. Of course it would be quite easy to be better than him. Stefan had problems with pronouncing some of the words, as well as a very poor understanding of everything that went on in the classes. It didn't surprise him that some of those with magical backgrounds also had trouble at the start. it was so much in so little a time. It was just the way things were. Nothing was slow, there was no time to breath, and really at times, especially for Stefan he felt like he was drowning in all the new information. But his mind didn't allow him to reminded by the work her had to tackle. Stefan looked back up at Willow as she spoke again. He actually wasn't a fan of butter. It was weird, it had a strong with distinct taste and one that Stefan didn't enjoy. One of the only things Stefan didn't enjoy. Before hogwarts, Stefan had always liked bread, but Hogwarts had introduced all different types and they were never stale. "Just bread, on it's own. Nothing added. Nicely heated." Stefan felt his stomach rumble as he thought of bread. A smile appearing on his face as he could almost smell it. He nodded a long. The world was not really alright, but it was just about manageable. "The world is alright." he muttered. "Maybe not all the time, but most of it. The world is alright, right now." he clarified. Both with himself and with Willow. He was admitting to things not always being amazing for him, but he wasn't saying that it was like that now. Really it was worse, so he'd told a small lie, but he was still being partially honest. "I don't mean to be a killjoy but, We should probably think about heading back"​
​
 
Willow stifled a yawn - it was getting late and she can't afford to sit under the tree any longer, fearing that her blood pressure would drop drastically again. She found the conversation with Stefan both interesting and curious; she was sure by now that he would have wanted to leave moments ago; especially since he didn't appreciate her company back at the Great Hall. But now it seemed like he enjoyed just sitting there under the tree with Willow. She didn't wrap her mind about it too much, after all her curiosity usually led her to situations that she would only regret later on. "Yeah, early days indeed." she murmured. ...I just hope things work out between you and Kate. Willow wanted to say, but she held her tongue. She didn't want to ruin a perfectly good evening as it was. It was enjoyable...probably even refreshing. Talking to Stefan wasn't like talking to Sara or Kate or any of the other girls. Willow smirked, she knew she got along better with boys than she did with girls. That's what happens if you grew up with your best friend who is a boy. She thought about Chris. She never knew where he was, she never found him in the Common Room.

Willow noticed dozens of lights turning both on and off around the school; signaling the places that were occupied and the other places that were starting to become empty and quiet for another night. The wind started to decrease in temperature - she couldn't help think that they were both going to catch a cold in this frigid weather and that they were sitting on the cliffs with nothing but a wand lit to see where they were - getting down the cliff was going to be a challenge, maybe even more so for Stefan. She looked at him, she swore she saw his face brightened a little as he talked about bread. It made Willow smile, simple things make a difference - it was something that was very under rated. "If you ever wondered, I could teach you how to make bread if you want...you know. if you wanted." She shrugged and smiled; the world does seem alright for now.

Willow nodded, it was definitely time to head back to the castle - hopefully not facing any angry professors, staff or prefects. It was possibly the last thing she wanted and she couldn't help but cringe at the thought of loosing house points. They were so close last year to winning the House Cup. "I can't help but agree with you for a second." She spoke softly and grabbed her wand, keeping the hat over it. She inched her self up, using the tree as support. Having a fainting episode would be disastrous in these conditions. She stood still for a moment, closing her eyes and making sure she was feeling fine. "I can't help but think about how much you're seeing in this...light and time of night, but...I think...to reassure myself that you're not going to fall or anything...grab on to me." Quietly, She held out her arm for Stefan to hold on to, wondering this is the reason why they weren't supposed to be out on the cliffs this late - it was easy to get up, but it was hell to get back down again - that and they really needed to install some lights and a better route to get up and down.

 
If it were summer, then Stefan would not have been so eager to go back to the castle. But he couldn't hide that he was freezing, and that the tips of his fingers were numb. He couldn't deny that he was hungry and longed to eat something. However knowing that getting food now would be a difficult task. Stefan then remembered the soup. He looked to his side and saw the flask still was sat beside him. He hadn't thought it had gotten up and walked away, but it was good to know it was still there. With his bandaged hand he took the flask and opened it. Almost as soon as he'd done that, he felt the warmth seep outside it and fill his insides with an intense warmth that then made the cold even worse. Stefan gave a small cough. He didn't really want to get sick. Sick was bad in his books. Plus he tended to be hit harder than most. Now at hogwarts however he knew he wouldn't have to fight it off alone. He'd been aware that Hogwarts doctors or nurses had cures for common muggle illnesses. It didn't surprise him much either, of course they would have cures for common things such as that, they didn't seem to have cures for things that Stefan had. Colour blindness was just not that common. And it was something that was a gene fault. He'd been colour blind from the start of his life due to faulty genes. Stefan only knew this because his father had said so. While calling him names, the colour blind problem would come up again and again. As if it was the reason that everything in his life had gone terribly wrong. But, it couldn't be, things could not be that simple. It just wasn't right. It couldn't be the colour blindness which had turned his father against him. Not just that. Stefan looked up at Willow as she said she would teach him to make bread. If he was honest he found the offer slightly weird. But, he did want to. He did want to learn how to make bread. If he could make bread it could mean he would actually have some food. Stefan gave a nod. He wanted to learn how to make it. "That would good actually. My father would like that." He knew making the bread at home did not necessarily mean he would get any, but it would increase the chances. If his father could be proud of him being able to do something, he could just imagine that he would be happy enough to let him eat something decent. Stefan knew he'd have to be good at it though. He'd never really been that great at making things, he'd never been shown and never really given the chance.

Stefan watched as she stood up. Wondering if she would be alright. He didn't know what he would do if something were to happen to her out at the cliff. He could hardly see, and the bruises made it difficult to run too fast. When she was stood, Stefan also stood up. Keeping his back against the wall and slowly getting to his feet. Once he was standing, he took a few steps away from the tree and steadied himself on his feet. He glanced over at Willow, who was holding the light, and then to the flask, which he had put back down beside him when he'd been sitting. He bent down and picked it up. He was careful, to not show any more bruising but also so he wouldn't hurt anything. Stefan had ignored her about holding on to her. He wasn't then touching type. He didn't know if she'd suddenly turn on his, if he did take her arm. "No" He muttered standing back up. He shook his head. While taking out the wand from within his pocket. "Lumos" He flicked the wand and the light appeared. It wasn't as bright as Willow's had been. As if his wand knew to not be as strong so he'd see. He glanced to Willow. "I won't fall, plus if I do, I'll be fine. I'm not going to take a hold of you." Stefan didn't mean to sound harsh, and he was greatly sorry if he did, he just didn't trust her enough to be able to take her arm. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be harsh, I know you mean well. I just can't." Stefan took a few steps forward. He was careful, and his wand light was directed at his feet and the area in front of him. Stefan joined Willow where she stood. He smiled at her. "If there is one thing I know, it's darkness. I'm more or less blind in sunlight, bright sun. But, darkness I do better. I can't see much, but at least it doesn't hurt. Lumos is probably the spell I would use the most. It's the perfect spell for the darkness." Stefan tried to explain. He knew he wasn't making a very good job at it, but it was worth a shot. "It's why I have so many cuts and bruises. Back home I can't do spells, so in winter, I can't really see in the dark and I fall. In the summer, it gets very bright, which causes me to be blind and fall." He thought it would make sense to say that, since it was partially true. It did make him fall, but the bruises he had, were a little too wide spread to be just attributed to that. "You must get bruises when you faint?" Stefan half stated, half asked. He gave her another smile and began walking.​
 
Willow couldn't hide her grin; "Fantastic! Well. Whenever you feel like baking some bread, just say okay?" She loved baking, it was one of her favorite things to do - and she loved it even more when she was baking with a friend. She pondered back to the moment when she started to bake with her Aunt down at her bakery-cafe. It was a sweet moment, Willow was just the innocent watcher standing at the corner of the room watching her Aunt make the most beautiful cake for a client, her Aunt called her over asking her if she wanted to make the sugar paste so her aunt can create flowers to put onto of the cake. Even though it was a relatively simple job and Willow only pretty much mixed for the whole thing, she had a lot of fun - it was also a way to feel connected with her Aunt, just like how music connected her with her Uncle. "It'll be fun and I swear I won't make you take notes or do homework" Willow laughed, she knew her jokes were rather lame but it didn't stop her from telling one. She was twelve, everyone around her were growing up so quickly; she wanted to keep being a kid as long as she could.


"Okay," Willow nodded, she learned it was better to go along with what Stefan wants, she didn't want him to act so hostile and...angry like last time - they've already made a little bit of progress tonight and they had an enjoyable time as it is - she didn't want to ruin the moment now. "If you say so but I swear if you get a bruise or a cut by the time we go down there, I propose we shouldn't come back to the cliff....well, not in this time of day anyway" Willow laughed and shook her head, she really made a hash of it when it came to jokes. "Quit while you're ahead Willow, your jokes are as lame as Toby." She could hear her Cousin say. Toby was the family dog, an old golden Labrador who refused to chase sticks but prefers to stay at home and keep everyone company - you could say he was the laziest dog in the world, but at least he'd keep out of your way. It occurred to her that she was missing home already but she didn't want to return just yet - she was enjoying the freedom that Hogwarts bring. She was sure by now that her Uncle would be pestering her to practice her instruments; something that she always loathed, even though she was already quite skillful at playing music.

As she made her way down her cliff, a smirk appeared on her face at Stefans question; "Oh. I sure do. It's kinda bad actually because they say that I always land head first which isn't good. So the majority of the bruises and bumps are on my head." She subconsciously felt her head, feeling a small bump that still hasn't gone away. "But yes, I do get bruises and little scrapes when I faint. I guess you are rather used to getting...no. you can never get used to get bruises and cuts." Willow stopped herself from asking a stupid question, feeling rather embarrassed that she was about to ask it in the first place. She made her way slowly, looking out for loose rocks, trying to push aside the 'accident prone' persona for at least just one night.

 
It was clear to Stefan Archer that Willow was happy that he'd agreed to let her teach him how to make bread. He made a mental note that baking and cooking was something that clearly pleased Willow. He had hoped that he would be able to make it up to her for spending time teaching him. He wanted to show her that he appreciated everything that she'd ever done for him. Even if it wasn't that much yet. Stefan had never really had anyone actually take any proper concern with him. And he wanted to show Willow that he too did care about her. That she was the kind of person he would easily be friends with. Stefan was actually the kind of guy who found it pretty easy to get along with people when he put in the effort and didn't intentionally push people away. He needed to keep people away but he didn't want to be mean to Willow. He had to have at least one person who cared about him, if something did happen. Stefan shot a smile to her. He wouldn't have minded notes and homework, but he got the joke. And this actually made him smile. It felt somewhat nice to be able to smile. Even if it was over something so small. He was glad when she didn't push the subject of holding on. He was careful when he walked. He knew how to take care of himself, despite what people thought. He walked carefully keeping his wand directed to the ground and always being sure of his feet before taking a step forward. "I won't" he grinned slightly as he spoke. It was clear that he was methodically about how he walked in such darkness. He actually didn't go out too often, but Slytherin wasn't the brightest place. He had to be careful with each step. Not to mention he had to be careful of the older Slytherins who didn't like when people even walked on the same path as them. Stefan was all used to it. He actually was now. Stefan looked at Willow as she spoke again. It didn't really surprise him that she hurt self when she feel. He was aware of what it felt like to faint. He did every so often. Less at Hogwarts. But, he'd gotten many a bump on the head at home. Stefan just nodded. "You should be careful. It can feel like a little scrape, but it can be much more. You should always get checked if you fall and hurt something." Stefan nodded as he spoke.

Stefan wasn't a fan of the hospital wing, but he knew what he had to do if he got really hurt. Stefan had of course dealt with each bruise and cut that he had. He didn't let one go unnoticed. It was why he was constantly aware of each of them. Stefan knew that he to be aware of each to not expose the bad ones to people who would blow the situation out of proportion. He gave a small laugh, when she spoke about him getting used to them. Although she never finished, Stefan knew that she wouldn't really want to ask that, and it wasn't a usual question but it didn't matter to him. "Depends, actually. You do get used to it. Just ones that are worse are the ones that remind you how not fun it is to get bruises and cuts. Like the one on my hand. It took a while to stop the blood flowing. It was deep. I half thought of actually getting it checked out, but it's better now." Stefan glanced to his hand. He obviously would not say how he actually got it. It was a conversation for another day. Stefan just sighed slightly, stopping for a moment as he let the memory pass of how he'd gotten it. He was glad that no one could see the cut on his face, that was not as deep, but looked pretty painful. "If you feel like you are about to fall just say, and we can stop. It isn't too far," Stefan glanced up as he began walking again. "So, why didn't you go to dinner today?" Stefan asked. Actually curious as to why she would've come out to the cliffs instead of being inside with friends and food. And he'd also just realised that he hadn't actually asked why she'd been there at the cliffs. While he could understand why she'd want to be alone, she hadn't had to come all the way out to the cliffs to do that. It was clear to him, that he wasn't the only one who needed to clear his head. "You don't have to answer it, I'm just wondering" He added quickly.​
 
"Oh, I know and I really should, but I get embarrassed walking into the Hospital Wing with something so minor." She admitted. holding onto one of the boulders to get down, she wondered why it was so easy to get up the cliff in the first place, she couldn't remember it being this hard getting up. "I promise next time I would though." Willow added. To tell the truth, she didn't even think about going to the Hospital Wing whenever she fainted, the only time when she went to the Hospital Wing was when she was carried there by Vayne - and still she hated waking up and staring at a white ceiling, vowing to herself she'll never end up there unless something happened that she couldn't be in control of. "Anyway I hate that place. It's never nice going to the Hospital Wing, I loathe it." She spoke in a monotone, then again, she didn't think anyone would enjoy being in or near the Hospital Wing in the first place.
As she made her way down, Stefan mentioned the cut on his hand, she wanted to look at it, but figured that would only make him feel uncomfortable; "I guess so, but getting such cuts and bruises in the first place isn't fun. When I was younger I used to fall down stairs a lot, which is why I kind of hate the moving staircases." Willow sighed, she remembered the first time she went on the staircases to get to the common room of her house, the other first years thought it was fun and exciting, Willow just thought the whole experience was scary - she tried to avoid the staircases as much as possible by going through the portraits.


Willow felt pretty lame getting down the cliff, she didn't want to look like the typical girl whose having trouble getting down a cliff doing dainty steps at a time - she couldn't help it of course but she hated what she would look like in the daytime, thanking the darkness in a small bit of appreciation. She shook her head at Stefan, she didn't feel like she was going to fall, she was staying at the side of the small rocky pathway, using the boulders here and there to keep her grip to, kicking loose rocks down along the way. "no, I don't mind answering." She spoke, referring to Stefan's Question, "Why didn't I go to dinner? I didn't want to, to be honest, a lot of questions was plaguing my head - and like I said before, it drives you crazy. I didn't want to go to the lake or the gardens, the Cliffs seemed appealing and well, here I am." She spoke, thinking over her answer and then adding; "Anyway, It just seemed like one of those moments when I needed to sort things out in my head. Anyway, you were one of those questions - I was wondering why you were acting like you were in the Great Hall but, it doesn't matter now. Why were you up here?" Willow asked, she didn't mind if he didn't answer it - she was too busy concentrating not falling down the cliff face at the present moment.
 
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<SIZE size="50">Stefan just shrugged. He knew that he was also embarrassed to go to the hospital wing. It was why, depsite everything that was wrong with him, he didn't bother going. He preferred just waiting around till things got better on there own. He knew that if Willow collapsed with him, he would probably just move her, so she wasn't in the way, being extremely careful so as to not hurt her, and then just wait with her until she woke up. He wasn't that strong a guy. He didn't know if he'd be able to carry her to the hospital wing. So he'd just wait with her. If things were taking too long, the it was then that he'd take her upstairs to the hospital. "Tell me about it, I can't stand hospitals. They make me, feel really pathetic." Stefan nodded. He hated hospitals because they made him feel weak, and they asked lots of questions. And his father hated taking him to the hospital. Stefan had to go a little more often that others because of his sight, but, even then it was brief visits. His father made them as short as possible. He hadn't been for a long while. Which was always a good thing. He preferred just letting things heal. It of course meant that he never really knew the extent of which he'd been hurt, but that was really something he could live with. The stairs had scared the living daylights out of him the first time they'd moved while he walked on them. He had never seen anything like it, and it just hadn't felt normal. He didn't expect that stairs would ever move. He pretty much blamed them for the fact that he'd gotten lost so many times. They would change and since Stefan was still growing used to a school situation it had confused him greatly, he was also a typical guy in the way there was nothing he hated more than asking for directions. Some days he did but then others, he would just walk until he ended up somewhere. It wasn't too good a method, but he was glad that he now practically knew his entire way around Hogwarts. Some days he got a little lost, but never to the scale that he had before. Stefan kept his eyes on the floor as he walked. He noted that soon it wouldn't be such a climb. It reminded of why he'd never been.

Stefan was glad that she answered his question. He wasn't quite sure if he was able to ask questions without receiving nothing as an answer. He didn't know how much to ask. What was too personal and what was right. Stefan just had to go off what people answered. If it was silence, it generally want to talk about it, and he'd over stepped his limitations. He was one of those questions. "I was one of the questions." He felt his cheeks heat up as he blushed wondering what on earth that meant "What do you mean?" He asked, actually curious about it. he didn't want himself to be something that she spent time thinking over. That wasn't his aim. Stefan just shook his head slightly and kept walking. "I came to the cliffs, because I wasn't really hungry, and I needed somewhere to go" He was partially lying, he was hungry, he'd just wanted to avoid the hall, to avoid Sara and Kate. And it had been to avoid Willow too, but that hadn't exactly worked out. He didn't feel eating too much knowing what Kate was doing because of him. "How is Kate?" Stefan asked. He was worried about her. But he didn't know what he could do. It didn't play into his plan. But then nothing that had happened lately had gone into his plan. He wanted nothing more than to go apologize to her, but he knew he couldn't. As well as that, he also felt that she was over reacting slightly. It wasn't like it would be forever. Stefan knew now that it didn't matter. He'd been mean and pretty much heartless and he couldn't really ever take it back. And for at least the next few years, he didn't really plan to. He just needed to know how she was doing.​
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Willow laughed; "You could say that again, I try to avoid hospitals at all costs. I hate going near them, hate being in them, hate almost everything about them. Well, apart from the fact that they save lives, but they give off such negative vibes." She shrugged, no one can convince her to go to the hospital apart from herself or in current circumstances - if she's being literally dragged there. Her cousin Jeremy couldn't even drag her to the hospital in Wellington before she knew about her current medical issues - she was stubborn, she preferred her time was spent dealing with more important issues rather to care about her own physical issues. She was going to pay for it someday, sure, but right now. It probably didn't help that Hogwarts mainly consisted of stairs - even going through the portraits you'd encountered some stairs. Willow didn't mind the stairs but she hated the fact that every time she had to walk up the stairs she ended up feeling dizzy at the top - it wasn't a pleasant feeling at all. "Well. We can feel pathetic together then." She fumed silently.

Walking down the cliff was too much of a challenge, she didn't even notice Stefan's question until she realized he was actually speaking, Willow felt the heat rise into her cheeks, realizing that her previous statement came out the wrong way she tried to explain, getting flustered; "What I really should have said was that I came here with Questions in my head and that one of those questions was something along the lines of why you acting like you were back in the great hall. I mean, I never saw you like that before, it didn't add up." Willow sighed, her explanations were always disastrous; "That and I'm pretty bad at explanations, but don't worry about it." Willow shook her head, she hated not being able to explain the things that was going on in her head, it made it difficult for her to express her feelings. She nodded at his explanation; "You weren't hungry and you decided to come to the cliffs. You ran into me, here we are now trying not to kill ourselves getting down this cliff. We're a bit of a risk taker aren't we." Willow blushed, she made a mental note that she'll leave the risk taking until later in life. Not now.

Stefan asked about Kate, Willow kept silent and she bit her lip, she didn't know what to tell him but she knew he cared about her. In truth, she didn't even find Kate after she ran out of the Great Hall - assuming that she went straight into the Hufflepuff Dormitory to cry her heart out. She couldn't even find her after that day but she did ran into Sara; "In truth Stefan? I'm not very sure, I never saw her after...the first day, but what i'm hearing from Sara, I think she's..." Willow trailed off, she didn't know whether to be blunt or honest, tell the truth or tell a small lie. She sighed; "I'd be lying if I said she's fine, happy..content. Stefan, she's really down at the moment." Willow hated talking about unhappy news, if any of her friends were upset, then Willow was upset - she lived to see the smiles on her friends faces; "What you said didn't exactly please her, I would say, don't worry about it, but I have a feeling you do deep down, but don't beat yourself up for it or regret the actions you did. Kate is a strong person inside, i'm sure she'll be fine in her own time." Willow sighed, she was starting to feel a little sad now. Any other person would find Stefan was the person to blame for making Kate upset and consequently make Sara upset because her sister was upset. Willow was upset at the whole situation, she wasn't really in it, in the first place - she was just the person in the middle of the conflicting parties. She knew it was best if Stefan and Kate started to be friends again but she couldn't see how that was possible...unless Willow had something to do with it. ...Must. Talk. To. Sara.
 
It seemed to him, that meeting someone else who like him had a pretty large distaste for Hospitals was good. It didn't make him feel so alone in his way of thinking. He knew that if someone tried to convince him that going to the Hospital was best, he'd have reasons for him not going. it was all he needed to have. Stefan knew that he wasn't exactly going to always be able to avoid the hospital. He would at times have to go. He hated it, but some days it was necessary. When he was really hurt, when the pain was unbareable and something felt deep or broken. But, those were the only ways. He hardly ever went. He stopped his father from taking him most times. His father was more than happy to comply. it was the only subject that Stefan and his father agreed upon. Stefan held his when wand out in front of him. He didn't right now want to end up in the hospital. The bruises on his body were bad, and he didn't want someone to see them. He didn't want to even think about them, but as he walked, bent over slightly, he found his back beginning to hurt. Not to mention he found that he was putting too much pressure on his stomach, but he had to keep going. He couldn't make it look like he was having problems, apart from the obvious. But as soon as Willow had begun explainning what she'd meant, Stefan found that it was getting easier to walk. He was glad that something hadn't added up. He knew that it meant they didn't expect him to be like that, and so it had a greater impact. He knew that he would be able to do it again if the situation called for it. Although his mind was telling him to stop acting in such a way. It wasn't helping anyone him acting as he had been. He knew that it was had to happen. During the entire holiday, all his thoughts had been on what it would do to his friends if without a word, he didn't turn up for school. He didn't think that he'd impacted there life that much, but Stefan didn't want to worry his friends in any way possible. And he knew the only way to achieve that was to not be friends with them. He was reminded of why he'd never had friends before. He was sent back to being not very confident, because he feared what people would say to him. He didn't care if they hated him, or wanted to hit him, He feared what people would do if they were his friend and wanted to get to the bottom of why he was acting oddly. Not to mention the scars.

Listening to her speak of Kate. He was glad that everything had somewhat gone to plan. She had taken the bait. Her being down was what happened after people stopped speaking. Close friends. He didn't want her to be too down, but Stefan was happier knowing that she was down now at that moment rather than in the future, if he didn't return. Stefan sighed to himself. He didn't feel bad for actions, he knew that Kate would in time be fine. She was a strong girl, a lot stronger than him. She would make it through. "I don't regret what I said, Willow." Stefan said, he wasn't even lying. He'd meant what he'd said about them not being able to be friends. He'd meant it and that was what he was planning to continue with. He knew that if they were friends, it would not be good news for anyone. He didn't want to be responsible for hurting her more if they got close and then he disappeared. And he was afraid of getting close to her, in case he lost her. Stefan had never had many people in his life. No one in his life had really ever cared. He didn't want to get close to more people and lose them, because he didn't know how he would recover from it. So, breaking it off now, was the only way to avoid both. "She will be fine. She'll get passed this, and she'll recover and she'll forget all about me." Stefan said nodding, as if that was already decided. He knew that life was unpredicable so nothing would be that certain. He just wanted it to be. He wanted to be sure that Kate would recover and that she would get over there friendship. He didn't care about himself. He didn't care if he never got over the friendship. Stefan had enough in his life, that other things would mask how he felt about Kate. His father, his studies, the colour blindness. He had so much else to think about, that he wished for them to become more clear, and Kate less so. But, if he did or not, he didn't care. As long as he was physically fine, he could live with it. "I know you won't believe me when I saw this, but she is better off without me. I know that" Stefan simply added. "Come on, we're almost there. No more steepness, just grass and path from here on out." Stefan moved the subject as he began walking a little quicker than Willow. He didn't really want to get into it any more than he had and he hoped that she wouldn't either.​
 
Willow could see Hogwarts Castle more clearly and she knew they were close since the castle was more closer to them than it was when they were at the Cliffs. She took the silence from Stefan an opportunity to think her thoughts through again. Here she was skipping dinner (and still didn't eat the picnic that the elves packed for her) and then she bumped into Stefan for almost the exactly same reasons. She wondered how Kate was - was she fine? okay? is she with friends?. Her thought drifted off to Sara - she knew how she was, she knew how she was coping. For a moment, Willow came to the conclusion that the Moon Sisters weren't doing well - that was affirmative. Her thought drifted back to Stefan, she knew he was hiding something from him - but that wasn't the thing that was bothering Willow. She knew he and Kate we're very close friends - otherwise Kate's behavior wouldn't be like that. Over some boy. She knew Kate liked Stefan - affirmative also. Stefan was covered in cuts and bruises - nothing out of the normal, he told her that he gets them because of his color blindness. Willow sighed mentally - it was too late to be thinking this deep, she try and think things over again tomorrow. She wanted her friends back together, back to the big happy group it was last year. Somehow she never knew it was this much of a challenge.

Willow frowned at Stefan; "Yeah...I'm sure she'll get past this, but if you say she's better off with you. Then...that's what you think...but I hope you're doing the right thing?" She spoke quietly, mentally she objected to his comments about Kate, but she figured that if she says what Stefan wants to hear - then sure, he'll probably become a little happier and maybe Willow was pushing him in the wrong direction of thoughts about Kate at the current moment but she was going to bring them all back together - Sara, Kate, Stefan. Whatever, She had to talk to Sara - get her side of stories. Willow was feeling pretty lonely at this point - trying to fix everyone back together again. She released they were out of the cliffs and he was walking a little quicker than her, Willow tried to keep up his pace, there was a question that was bugging her - ever since the first day and the first conversation they had. Even though that conversation proved disastrous and created a lot of problems, Willow still liked having Stefan as a friend, she could trust him with her life even if she knew he was color blind. She respected him a lot. She walked faster, keeping up with Stefan and she remembered her question. She stopped and spoke - it wasn't like how she normally spoke; open, strong and cheerful. She spoke with hesitance, she was unsure and a little frightened of what the response might be, it was a side of Willow no one ever saw. "Stefan. When you said back in the Great Hall that we couldn't be friends...never be friends. Did you actually mean that...to me?"

Willow's eyes glittered in the moonlight, she wasn't crying - she hardly cried at all unless it was something big and major. she could hear the lake's waves colliding with each other and the quiet hooting of owls perching in trees. She could hear the faint mumblings of students who were out to breathe in the night air before turning in for the night. Willow felt like time was going by so slowly, she didn't want to ask that question, she knew it would wreck the pleasant night that they were having. She learned a lot about Stefan and she was she Stefan learned a lot about her too. She wondered what Kate was doing - probably turning in, crying her self to sleep. Sara was probably reading a book. Willow looked down on her feet; "...sorry." She mumbled an apology, it was probably the wrong time, wrong place for everything. She braced her self - good response, they were still friends. bad response, they weren't friends and merely just acquaintances again, she wondered if this was the last time she and Stefan were meant to be friends. Over thinking made Willow exhausted and she knew they should hurry inside. Waiting for a response from Stefan felt like forever.
 
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