Remove the Complexities

[Zara Cohen-Knight]

It was an accepted rule, generally, that if one of the Cohen-Knight's were anywhere near the Quidditch Pitch that something was going to go down but Zara wasn't there to goad or to protest or to even start a fight. She was looking for advice in a place where she thought the people were the least able to give any such advice. Still the girl had nowhere else to go. Zara knew this would be a hard thing to do - to be vulnerable in front of someone she did not like nor someone she respected very much but she had prayed for the strength to do so and all she could do was hope that she had been able to summon this bravery and the ability to be humble by way of searching for advice and help from someone who must think terribly low of her. She tried not to lean too much on her negative thoughts as she approached the pitch where she had on good word that Marisol must be. Practicing the deadly sport of Quidditch, no less. Still Zara entered the pitch and hoped that this would be less painful than she suspected it would be. Zara instinctively held onto the pendant of her necklace as she looked up at the skies feeling hopeful and worried all at once. The witch didn't even know with any certainty that it was the person she was looking for who was flying high above her or that she could be seen but Zara watched as she saw from afar the flight of the girl who was as good as a valkyrie. She was to hold in her hands information that could kill her last two years at Hogwarts if shared prematurely and hoped that she was given some understanding.

Zara, to expedite the waiting time let her bronze star go and reached for her pocketed wand and shot sparks up at the girl in flight in hopes that it would alert her to touch down to the field. Zara may have needed help but she was not so desperate as to go for a flight and endanger herself like this. She had to retain some resemblance of herself which was meant she kept her feet firmly planted on the ground at all times so she waited while pocketing her wand once more.​

 

[Marisol Woods]

Although her position on the team had obviously been secured for the year, Marisol hadn't been able to practice all summer since she had spent most of it at home in Puerto Rico, so she needed to make up for lost time. The Gryffindor took advantage of her free mornings and usually spent it out on the pitch alone before the teams began their practices. She was currently doing drills with the quaffle in hand, testing her limitations with speed, when she saw sparks shoot up out of the corner of her eye. Marisol slowed and looked down below for the source and thought she recognized the figure and wasn't sure whether or not she should descend after all. Maybe it wasn't who she thought, so Marisol slowly made her way over to the figure.

As Zara came closer into focus, Marisol hesitated and looked around the skies, making sure Zara wasn't signaling someone else. She wondered what the Ravenclaw girl could possibly want with her. Was she here to give individual lectures to each Quidditch player? She figured Zara wouldn't care what happened to her because the two weren't exactly on friendly terms to each other after the incident in the Ravenclaw common room had happened and Zara had made it clear what she thought of the latina when she'd confronted her that time in the halls. Still, Marisol dismounted from her broom and walked the rest of the way over to the Ravenclaw girl, curiosity getting the better of her. Marisol wiped her sweaty forehead on her long sleeve and cautiously said, "Hey."
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[Zara Cohen-Knight]

Zara was grateful that Marisol had decided to touch down and walked half of the way to meet her and said, "Hello," in return. She felt like a nervous wreck now that the conversation had begun but she needed advice and this was the only person she could think to ask. "I uh... need your help," she told Marisol, perhaps a little ominously. This was going to be a difficult conversation, yes, but she had to get through it and without the ability to speak to Lennon about this she was stuck going to someone she did not like nor someone who liked her. Or even respected her enough as a person, clearly, to leave her waking up without manure on her. The memory of that had her expression change for the briefest of moments but she had to forgo her anger, she knew this. Looking for help was difficult for the stubborn Ravenclaw and this was already a tricky situation but she could think of no one else to go to. "Can you keep this between us?" Zara asked seriously although she was very hesitant of trusting the Gryffindor - more so than she was about trusting anyone else.​

 

[Marisol Woods]

Marisol was skeptical to talk to Zara given their history and was even more surprised when then the Ravenclaw said she needed her help. Marisol raised an eyebrow, but after a brief analysis of the girl's nervous state, she figured she must be earnest right now. Marisol replied, "Uh, sure," when the girl asked if this could remain between the two of them, even if she had no idea what the conversation was going to be about. Truthfully that was a promise Marisol didn't know she could keep, given she didn't know the subject yet, but she said it anyway to get straight to it by now. Marisol looked around the empty pitch and said, "We can talk over here," and led the girl over to the south end goal posts, furthest from the locker room entrances or the castle really. They walked over in uncomfortable silence and Marisol set her broom down on the grass as she took a seat, waiting for Zara to follow suit. "What is it?" the latina asked as politely as she could, curiosity getting the better of her with each passing minute.
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[Zara Cohen-Knight]

Zara's fingers twisted together as she waited for Marisol's response because she had so much to lose from the conversation if she didn't have the sensitivity that most would assume necessary. Zara didn't really like to expect much of the Gryffindor girl's morals, though. Still she hoped that she would realize how important this was to her. She followed the girl to the goal posts and took a seat as well, exhaling nervously. To sooth herself she rubbed her thighs and pressed down as she spoke, "When you found out that you're gay how did you tell your family?" Zara was probably the most religious out of herself, Lennon and their mother but that didn't mean it was any easier to admit to other people what she had spent so long trying to correct within herself too. She had been so busy figuring out homosexuality that she hadn't even thought about anything other than that and heterosexuality so she had presumed that the Gryffindor fell where she did. She looked up from her lap and at Marisol, fear-stricken and uncertain while looking for some advice.​

 

[Marisol Woods]

Marisol waited patiently as Zara gathered herself to start the conversation. But whatever she had expected, it wasn't this at all. "Oh," Marisol said simply, and then she repeated, "Oh." Suddenly everything about the girl made sense. The way she abruptly dumped Asaiah and couldn't give any explanation as to why when Marisol confronted her. Zara had been nearly frantic when Marisol demanded an answer from her, and though the girl hadn't known she herself wasn't straight at the time so she couldn't decipher what Zara was hiding from her, Marisol had picked up on something personal so she had backed off. Now it all made sense.

Marisol chuckled nervously and shook her head as she ran her fingers through her hair, trying to figure out how to explain this to the Ravenclaw girl. First was the issue of Marisol not being completely gay and though that didn't change things about having to come out, she would have to disclose that with Zara anyway because she might soon find out that she was now dating Asaiah. She didn't want the girl to think that her relationship with Noelle had been a fluke, or a phase, just because she was now dating a boy, who so happened to be Zara's ex-boyfriend. Back then Zara had accused Marisol of liking him, and now she felt her cheeks heat up at the idea of that being true even if it hadn't been at the time.

But the most glaring difference between her and Zara was the fact that Marisol was a werewolf and she used that as leverage for her coming out. How could she explain to Zara that telling her friends and family she liked girls was less torturous than telling them she was a werewolf? And if they could accept her as that beast then they could accept her for something less horrendous? Marisol sighed and picked at the grass as she mulled over how to phrase this. "Well, just to be clear, I am attracted to both boys and girls," she stated first, hoping this wouldn't cause Zara to suddenly find her less capable of giving advice. "When I told them I liked girls, I kind of compared it to something worse so they'd be glad I wasn't that," Marisol said with a shrug, being as truthful as possible without revealing what exactly. "Like 'hey mom and dad, I'm dating a girl, but at least I'm not pregnant at fifteen right?' Haha," Marisol said with a fake chuckle and grimaced afterward, feeling like she was not giving good advice at all. "There are worse things to be than gay," she said softly, smiling encouragingly at the Ravenclaw girl.
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[Zara Cohen-Knight]

Zara waited for the sickle to drop and when it had she winced - expecting goading or shock or something. She had not, however, expected there to be a laugh coming from the girl and she nearly thought she should get up and leave. Pretend this was a joke - that maybe she didn't have conflicting feelings about her sexuality but instead she just was trying to be cruel to Marisol. At this point a majority of the people who knew her hated her so she might as well lean into it if it meant hiding her secret but she waited to see what the girl's answer was because she was nervous and had nowhere else to go. She knew no one else to go to which was the irony of the century.

When Marisol started Zara looked at her with confusion and maybe a little bit of disgust at the thought of being attracted to boys. "Are you saying that is what you told them? So they wouldn't think you're really gay?" she asked, not trying to be insensitive but also not entirely believing the girl's claim to be attracted to both genders as she had only discovered a limited amount of information about sexuality. Then the Gryffindor spoke further and somehow there was a laugh that fell from Zara's lips at the idea of being a teenage mom. She frowned and said, "I know... it's just my mom.... she get's upset." Zara was trying to be delicate in her words because she didn't want pity. "She's very reactionary," she said being diplomatic with her words because she tried to be a good daughter even if she felt that sometimes she would just always fail. In frustration with how difficult this situation seemed she plucked out a few blades of grass and flicked it forward as she asked, "Were you scared?" Zara knew it was personal to ask Marisol this but they were a little bit beyond what was their normal now so all decorum went out of the window as far as she was concerned. All she knew was that if she lost Lennon she would be alone in a way she had never been before and she couldn't risk that. She needed him in her corner like she was in his.​

 

[Marisol Woods]

Marisol frowned softly at the way Zara said 'really gay' and chewed on her lower lip. She wasn't sure if the Ravenclaw girl meant it the way lots of people tried to invalidate her sexuality, but Marisol tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. She shook her head to answer the girl's assumption and said, "No, but I did have to explain to them that I like girls the same way I like boys." Marisol bristled slightly, feeling like she had to defend her credibility as a girl who liked girls, but forced herself to metaphorically deflate and listen to the girl's problems. She pursed her lips in thought, nodding her head solemnly in understanding as she listened to Zara. "Are you and your mother close?" she wondered delicately. Not having a supportive mother couldn't be easy, but she knew the girl also had a twin so hopefully she'd have some sort of support system if not her mother. She noticed Zara hadn't mentioned a father but didn't ask about it; after Asaiah's situation, she was more attune to treading lightly about family situations.

The latina had propped her elbows against her legs as she placed her chin in her hands, deep in thought, when suddenly Zara asked if she had been scared. She didn't have to elaborate for Marisol to know what she meant by it. For the first time ever, she was grateful that she was a werewolf, because after getting through that, nothing was scary to her anymore. If she had never been bitten, she wondered if telling her friends she liked girls would have been as scary as Zara felt right now. But then she thought of her friends and her sister, and how despite her crazy antics they loved her anyway, and firmly shook her head no. She'd never been scared of them accepting her. "The people who love you already know who you are, and have accepted you a long time ago," she said with a small smile, believing it wholeheartedly. "Your preference in partners is not going to change that."
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[Zara Cohen-Knight]

Trying her best to listen and understand to what Marisol was telling her was difficult when she simply did not understand what was being told to her but she did not wish to cause conflict. She simply wanted help and with no where else to turn she just gave a confused and defeated smile to the Gryffindor. Zara swallowed hard at the question Marisol asked of her mother - she didn't know a way to explain without creating worry. She was not the best at verbally expressing her thoughts because she never found a word that fit quite right. It always seemed off but she needed help. So the girl shook her head. "It's sort of complicated," she started. "My dad... he died --" The strange thing was that the Ravenclaw didn't feel uncomfortable sharing this with Marisol even if the two did not get along and would not suddenly become friends after this conversation. It just felt natural to share this sort of secret with someone like Marisol - like maybe she'd understand and not use it against you. So share Zara did. "Bludger to the head." Zara had seen the photos of his death purely by accident and it had shocked her to her core - it was what kept her enemy number one and/or two with half of the school's populace because she didn't want anyone to live the way her family did. Zara sighed and continued, "Before my mom knew she was pregnant with Lennon and me." Instead of letting Marisol fill in the rest of her sob story, Zara said speculatively, "I think maybe she was always mad that she got us instead of him." It was something she had never fully expressed to Lennon because she had always felt his was more sympathetic to their mom and would think she was bullying her when she already had her problems. She thought that sometimes Lennon forgot that they were the children and not the parent in the situation and shouldn't have to cope the way they did. "We spend a lot of time with our grandparents," Zara added stiffly, realizing now how pathetic she must sound and for someone who fought so hard to never seem week she was truly going against everything that she had fought for. It was not just her secrets she was sharing, it was her brother's too and she had to remember to protect him even if she felt tired.

Zara watched Marisol expectantly while the Ravenclaw folded her arms against her body as a protective shield against what she was about to hear. Truth told she wasn't sure what she wanted to be said in response to her question but she had asked it anyway. Watching the Gryffindor shake her head made Zara smile a little. "You're brave," she complimented the girl she somehow had developed a temporary truce with in the moment of uncertainty. ​

 

[Marisol Woods]

For the third time that day, Marisol said, "Oh," once Zara began to open up about her parents, or parent rather. "So that's why -" she began before stopping herself and shaking her head. The answer seemed obvious and even so she felt insensitive asking it. Now she understood a bit more of why Zara was nervous to tell her mother about how she felt. The Gryffindor chewed on her lower lip deep in thought. She chuckled when Zara called her brave and replied, "It's the Gryffindor in me," with a playful roll of her eyes. She had never thought of herself as overtly Gryffindor or considered why the hat had put her in that house, but hearing how scared Zara was to come out, she supposed she did possess certain qualities of the lion. She had assumed everyone had those same qualities to aggressively be yourself despite what everyone else thought, especially Zara who was well known for her dislike of Quidditch yet never seemed ashamed of it, so to her bravery wasn't inherently a Gryffindor trait.

"You're brave too you know," Marisol said encouragingly. "If the roles were reversed, I don't think I could ever have approached you to ask about something so personal knowing you hated my guts," she said honestly with a small shrug. Marisol would be too stubborn to show her vulnerability like that. "I think I would've suffered in silence, being honest with yourself takes courage," she said, thinking back to the times when she kept her lycanthropy a secret from her best friends for too long because she didn't want to accept it herself. Marisol wished she knew what she could tell Zara that would reassure her, but something like this wasn't always easy, especially with the family issues she alluded to. The latina sighed and picked at the grass. "What about your grandparents? Are they supportive of you? What if you told them first to ease your way up to your mom?" she considered. "They can help you break the news to her maybe?" she offered. Having a group of people to fall back on in case things went bad seemed like a good idea to her.
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[Zara Cohen-Knight]

Zara nodded her head weakly at the question that Marisol had been about to ask her. Yes, it was the reason she and Lennon fought against the dangerous sport that Quidditch was. They wanted people to be safe if they could and people were so happily plunging themselves into danger - even parents supported their children doing it too. She knew they were never going to wipe out the sport but helmets at the very least and maybe more appropriate ages when concussions couldn't kill people. Zara did not want to get into this now, though. Somehow it felt nice to share it - even with someone that she knew she couldn't entirely trust.

As Marisol said that she was brave, Zara was quick to write her off. No, she was really not brave. But then Marisol spoke on and there was a small smile that found it's way onto her face. She had never felt so warm to Marisol before this and wondered how this would play out between them later as she looked away from the other girl. "I thought maybe... before the whole event... you weren't terrible," Zara didn't want to bring up a fight when they were getting along better than they ever had. "You didn't push things when I wasn't ready," she added in explanation because they'd never gotten along but the confusing meal they'd shared after Zara had been terrified her secret would get out was actually one she viewed kindly. Zara nodded as her grandparents were brought up. She had a feeling they'd be supportive of her - they were so good to most everyone - and she hadn't thought much about telling certain family members separate. It hadn't occurred to her to space things out. Instead she'd imagined it would be better just to tell them all at once but maybe Marisol was right. "Yeah. I'll talk to them first," she confirmed, feeling the knots in her stomach slowly untwist as she imagined how supportive they would be of her.​

 

[Marisol Woods]

Marisol laughed brightly when Zara said Marisol wasn't so terrible and shook her head good-naturedly. "You can't have been so bad either, if Asaiah liked you," she said jokingly. She thought perhaps if they didn't have such a complicated history the two might be friends but this weird sort of truce they had now seemed nice enough for now. Marisol smiled softly when Zara mentioned how she hadn't pushed her to reveal whatever she had been hiding back then. Although the latina had been pushy for answers of her sudden break up with Asaiah, as soon as she'd picked up on the fact that it was a deeper issue, Marisol had backed off immediately. "I know what it's like to have a secret you're afraid others will find out and then run and tell," Marisol said in understanding. Though of course Marisol was referring to her lycanthropy, it could also apply to the crush she had been developing on Noelle the entire time without realizing it. Marisol gave the Ravenclaw an encouraging smile and nod when she agreed to talk to her grandparents first. It seemed like a safer choice to her, but the Ravenclaw had wanted to just get the worst over with all at once. "You're a rip-the-bandage-off, jump-straight-in-the-pool type of person aren't you?" Marisol observed with amusement, "that's brave," she said proudly, reassuring Zara of the braveness she thought she lacked. "But there's bravery in seeking help as well," she added, thinking of how Zara had sought her out first. Coming out to her grandparents first would be just like that, having someone there to help her through the hard part.

Marisol shifted uneasily as she said, "For what it's worth, I really am sorry about...the common room stuff." She didn't want to ruin the mood by bringing it up, but she still felt it necessary to say after all this time. She didn't want to launch into an explanation about the attack, but the fear of a secret getting out had reminded her of Agrippina, another one of Zara's roommates who'd fallen victim to Marisol's prank. Marisol had told Octavian of her werewolf secret and since Agrippina seemed able to manipulate Octavian, she still feared the blonde Ravenclaw would find out and spill her secret one day. She was not trying to justify her actions in the Ravenclaw girl's dorm, but sometimes fear brought out the worst in her temper.
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