Quite A Lot to Deal With

[Leah Mustard]

It wasn't as if this Christmas celebration was any different to the previous years Leah had spent at home with her extended family, but with Matthew here for the first time it was like she was seeing the slight tinge of madness they possessed through new eyes - everywhere she looked seemed to be chaos. Uncle Frank was teasing Rory with his levitation charms again, her older cousins were still arguing about a Quidditch game they'd played in two weeks ago, and her gran just kept trying to push more food into everyone's hands while simultaneously mediating a political debate between her two daughters. She couldn't see her grandfather, but she supposed he was outside with the barbeque, being supervised by Uncle Robert so he didn't blow it up. Leah had no idea what Matthew thought of all this, and she kept trying to sneak glances at him while they talked to Uncle Ig. Leah knew he wasn't the worst person to be trapped in conversation with, particularly as he was more likely to understand the overwhelming sensation of attending the Mustard circus for the first time, but she just wanted to get Matthew away from everyone for a second to let him recover from the crush of loud personalities in the room.

Her chance appeared in the form of Sophia, who had apparently been ordered to tug her father over to aid Aunt Emily in her dispute with Leah's mother. Sparing a moment to compliment her younger cousin's pretty dress, Leah quickly caught Matthew's eye and gestured towards a doorway to the front hall not far from where they were standing. They managed to escape the room without being intercepted, thankfully, and once in the hallway Leah turned to face her friend, pressing her palms against her cheeks as she did so. "My goodness, I've always known they were loud, but - everyone kept gravitating towards you like they've never heard an American accent before." Leah had one of her own, but she assumed her family had gotten used to it over the years - she'd certainly never been as widely popular. "I thought we should get away for a moment, just in case you needed a moment to yourself, or... well, I'm here too, but." She chewed her lip, ignoring the urge to fall into a parody of her gran and offer him a glass of water. She was overjoyed to see Matthew again, but felt slightly out of her depth in doing so - she hadn't physically seen him for the better part of a year, and now suddenly he was standing here, in the midst of all her family. "We haven't had much of a chance to speak together, just the two of us," Leah tried to explain, although she wasn't sure whether it was to herself or Matthew.

 

[Matthew Harper]

The idea of spending Christmas with the Mustard family had been a fun, distant thought when he had been at school. But he hadn't expected to be as nervous as he was when he first arrived. His nervousness had soon be replaced by utter bafflement at the activity going on around him. Leah's family was.... a lot. There were so many people, all loud and different. it was a far cry from quiet Leah, so he hadn't really been prepared for this. It couldn't be any further away from Christmas celebrations at home, which were often quiet and tense affairs where he felt miserable the whole time.

Matthew was talking to Leah's uncle Ig, who was apparently the father of Rory, and he kept noticing Leah giving him looks from the corner of his eye. He started to wonder if he was saying the wrong things and she was trying to warn him, but her uncle didn't seem to be offended by anything he was saying. He felt relieved when one of Leah's younger cousins interrupted the conversation and ending it. Matthew followed Leah and was almost surprised they managed to leave the room without another cousin, uncle or aunt grabbing one of them for conversation. The relative quiet of the hallway was a relief, and Matthew felt himself relax. He smiled at Leah, running a hand through his hair awkwardly. "Well, my accent is extremely nice." He told her with a nudge. "But yeah, your family is..." He tried to think of a good description. "Like an explosion happening very slowly and all around you." He laughed softly. "I'm glad you pulled me away, it's nice to take a break from all that, as nice as they are."

He listened to her and nodded in agreement, feeling oddly nervous to be alone with her now. "I know, right?" He said, keeping his tone light. "I mean, I came here for you but I've been kidnapped by every member of your family." He hesitated. "I hope you didn't mind that I was busy talking to them, I didn't want to be rude and walk away without a good reason." His eyes widened a bit. "Not that you're not a good reason. That's not what I..." He rubbed his face. "Do you think I'm flexible enough to literally put my foot in my mouth?"

 

[Leah Mustard]

Leah was she glad she hadn't been wrong in thinking that Matthew might have needed to get away from her family for a bit, it sort of made it less embarrassing that she had taken him away for herself. Not for herself! For Matthew, she reprimanded the wayward thought. Thankfully, however, he seemed oblivious to the internal nonsense currently swimming inside her and responded with a small joke about his accent. Leah felt a slow smile spread across her face, instantly at ease once again with her closest friend. "It is, but they haven't heard you mumbling over your notes when we're up too late studying though, have they? Sometimes you drawl so much I can barely understand you." It was easy to fall back into this way they had of teasing each other, and now that it was happening again she was suddenly hit by how much she really had missed it. Missed Matthew. She knew she had and yet somehow, now she was missing him more - while he was standing right in front of her, no less! "That's exactly what they're like, you're right," Leah said, nodding to trying and distract herself from her strange feelings. "Every year it's the same, and I don't know if it's because of the Christmas season or if it's just them," she laughed. "I know what you mean, though. It's always sad to leave here once it's all over, but being back home with just Mom and I always feels so restful in comparison."

If Leah had thought the strange, almost flippy, feelings would leave, however, they practically multiplied when Matthew said the words, 'I came here for you.' Why on earth was hearing that so weird - of course he had, she'd invited him. Was it different because this wasn't Ilvermorny anymore? She hoped not, because it was very possible that their time together there might already be a thing of the past. She didn't want them to grow apart over something as little as mere distance. Thankfully, Leah was only allowed to dwell on these thoughts fleetingly, as Matthew had continued speaking. "No, of course not! I'm glad you took the time to talk to them... unless, you didn't enjoy talking to them; I'm sorry, I should have realised how weird this would be for you, meeting a group of overbearing new people..." She bit at her lip again, suddenly doubting this entire venture. It was good to see him again, it really was, but if wasn't enjoying himself... Matthew's next remark, however, startled a laugh out of her. "If you succeed, I think I should take a picture of it." And once again they'd flipped back to normalcy. Causing her to laugh out of nowhere was how they had begun, after all, all those years ago.

 

[Matthew Harper]

The new relative quiet in the hallway just made Matt more and more aware of how close he and Leah were to each other now. It was odd, he had spent so much time around her at Ilvermorny that it had felt natural to be near her before he had left. Why did leaving for a few months mean he felt weird and nervous being near her? He wondered if she had done anything to her hair. She looked... different, but in a good way. In an attractive way. Oh.

Oh no.

Thinking like that was never going to be a good idea. Especially not if they were going to schools on the other sides of the world. Especially not because they were best friends and feelings like this would just ruin it. Especially not because the odds that she would like him as well were minuscule. Did he even like her? His heart beating faster as he looked at her seemed to confirm it, even if he was still confused. Because of this, he hardly noticed what she was saying. Something about his accent? She had teased him about it countless of time. "Why, don't you like it when I drawl?" He drawled at her, smiling slightly. He looked at her but then averted his gaze quickly again, feeling like he might start blushing.

He listened to Leah talk about her family. It was funny to him that she was so different from most of them but still managed to fit in fairly well. He had never pictured her family to be like this, but it fit somehow. "Sounds like Christmas is fun every year then." He said with a small smile. "I wish it was more like this at home." It had slipped out, and it felt slightly embarrassing, but also like something he could tell Leah. "Charlotte was really mad at me for not coming, but I just couldn't." He ran a hand through his hair. "I can't look at him."

The subject was getting heavy and Matthew realized he didn't really want to talk about this right now. He scrambled to think about something else, and just said the first words that came to mind. "It was weird to be at a school without you there too. I missed having you to remind me of my homework all the time." He smiled at her. "And for other reasons too, I promise." It was meant lightheartedly but for some reason it felt like the words were as heavy as the ones before, hanging in the air between them.

 

[Leah Mustard]

It wasn't so much the drawling itself, but the way Matthew looked at her as he did it that caused a strange lurching sensation located somewhere near the vicinity of Leah's stomach. For a moment she thought he had somehow noticed, as he seemed to be giving her a rather strange look, but in the space of a blink it had disappeared from his face. Leah was left wondering if she had just been imagining it, and fighting down the urge to shake her head at herself, returned to the question at hand. "When I can't understand you, it does make things a bit difficult, yes." The quip sounded casual enough, she hoped, but it was entirely possible that the warmth in her cheeks might be about to give her away. Leah really quite liked it when Matthew drawled, actually - sometimes she thought she liked it too much. Like now, for instance; she swore she had felt a warm little shiver in her chest as Matthew had drawled at her on purpose. Vaguely, she hoped her cousin Michael hadn't put any alcohol in what was supposed to be the normal fruit punch; that would severely limit the drinking options available to her for the rest of the day.

The remark about Christmas, however, brought her back to her immediate surroundings. "It is, yeah," Leah said, smiling fondly at the memory of holidays past. The expression only lasted as long as Matthew's next comment however, when it slipped slightly off her face. She knew she was lucky to have the kind of family she did, and it seemed the more she had heard little bits and pieces over the years of how Matthew's family - particularly his father - related to each other, the more she felt like he deserved something... something like what she had, perhaps. Immediately, Leah felt slightly terrible for thinking to assume that she could ever know what would be best for her friend, and chastised herself for doing so. Matthew would know what he wanted in his life, and she would of course support that wholeheartedly - but it still didn't stop her from thinking about him standing here again next Christmas... And there she went again! Trying to set her mind firmly back on track, Leah was determined not to reply to Matthew's comment with anything that could be construed as pity, believing that he wouldn't be very receptive to the notion. She would have taken the chance to ask after Charlotte, except it seemed like that question might lead to a dangerous skirting of the subject of Matthew's father, and the look on her friend's face at the mere mention of him warned Leah away from that conversation.

Thankfully, Matthew kept right on talking. "I could begin owling you weekly reminders if you like," she replied with a slightly teasing smile. "They wouldn't be very specific, of course, but it's the thought that counts." Leah was sure Matthew had been doing just fine without her though; people often hadn't noticed how studious he really was beside her own (slightly overboard, perhaps) devotion to the activity. But while she had been rather expecting him to say something like his first statement, Matthew's addition to it flummoxed her for some reason. "Oh... other reasons?" Leah questioned, unsure what she was even hoping to hear by asking this. When had talking to Matthew become so hard? Normally she could just say whatever she liked to him, unafraid of the possibility that it might somehow turn out to be the wrong thing. And wrong how, exactly? Leah wasn't sure where this strange idea that she suddenly had a goal in mind for how her conversation with him should proceed had come from. Particularly when she couldn't even begin to fathom what that goal might be. Surely this couldn't all be because they hadn't seen each other for months - Matthew, at least, looked completely the same on the outside, right down to that curiously bright shine she always seemed to see in his eyes. Although... the shine seemed clearer today, she thought. Had something perhaps changed for him after all?

 

[Matthew Harper]

Matthew noticed how Leah was blushing, even as she quipped back to him in her usual way. His heart started beating even faster, and he was almost sure she would be able to hear it soon. What was happening between them? Did she feel it too? That would change things, it would change everything. The idea that he might not know or find out for months because of how far apart made his chest hurt. A part of him wanted to just ask her. His blunt honesty coming out even now. He wanted to be upfront, open, but when he didn't know how own feelings completely and didn't really know how to put it into words, how could he?

He could tell he had made her feel bad with his talk about his family, and he regretted it. He didn't want her to pity him for having a shitty home life. All things considered, it wasn't even all that shitty. He had a sister he loved, a mother he loved, and a father he could tolerate on most days. He had never been hungry, never had anything his parents wouldn't buy for him, never missed out on anything that money could buy. He didn't deserve for her to feel bad for him. Honestly, he didn't want her to. He wanted to be strong in her eyes.

He realized he had been quiet for a long time, and he smiled at her teasing about the weekly reminders. He didn't really know what to say to it. Especially because she asked him about his other reasons. The phrase had slipped out of his mouth, and now he finally seemed to realize what those other reasons were. There was no real doubt about it, and if he was honest, he probably had known he liked Leah for a long time somewhere in the back of his mind. This was just a really bad time for that to come out all of a sudden, he didn't want to confuse things. He realized a silence had fallen between them, and he had no idea how to make this less awkward.

But looking at her and seeing her look at him in the dim light of the hallway, it was as if his body knew what to do even if his brain was still catching up. He stepped closer to her, his eyes on hers. His hand moved up to cup her cheek as he leaned in. "Yes, other reasons." He said softly, his accent stronger after using it for a joke in combination with his nerves. If she moved away even a fraction, he wouldn't kiss her, but he hoped with all his heart that she wouldn't.

 

[Leah Mustard]

Matthew responded to her teasing with only a smile and so Leah fell silent as well, suddenly awkward and unsure of herself. Something had changed between them, she was sure of it, but if only she could figure out what. Matthew would have told her about anything that might have happened to contribute to the difference she sensed between them, Leah knew it like she knew the sun would rise in the morning. Was it perhaps her then, she wondered, that had changed somehow, in some way that she had never even realised? Gazing at Matthew as if he would somehow give her a clue, she thought back on the last few months they had spent apart. They had missed each other, yes, but that was hardly surprising... the fervour with which she had waited for each letter from him had been, however. And Leah definitely hadn't realised that she would feel such a jolt of excitement at seeing his face again once she'd arrived back in New Zealand. Why Matthew's face should cause any difference in reaction from her compared to the rest of him, however, Leah remained slightly puzzled.

Well, unless of course... but... she'd never thought about him like that before - had she? They were friends, and, and friends certainly didn't think about... but now she was thinking about it. Leah could feel herself beginning to blush again at the realisation that she didn't seem at all opposed to the idea suddenly turning itself over in her brain. Before she could devote too much time to that particular line of thought, however, Matthew was suddenly moving towards her, causing her to freeze as she felt the soft weight of his hand touching the side of her face. Why? Why was he...? He had stepped forward too quickly for Leah's brain to even catch up to what he was doing, and now that he was so close all she could do was stare into his eyes, trying desperately to read what was in them. It was preposterous to think that he might've had the same thought she had, at exactly the same moment. And yet that look in his eyes... Was Matthew about to... Leah could barely even think the word. Her heart was beating so wildly she thought it might leap clean out of her chest if she did.

 

[Matthew Harper]

Matthew vaguely noted that time around them seemed to have slowed down. He was completely focused on Leah, still wondering if what he was doing was even remotely the right thing. He could only focus on her, the feel of his hand on her cheek, her wide eyes. She didn't move away from him, though she looked shocked instead of excited. He couldn't really blame her for that, he was shocked himself. Before he gave himself anymore time to think about it, he closed his eyes and the distance between them before kissing her softly on the lips.

He didn't pull her closer or kiss her like they did in the few muggle movies he had seen. It stayed light, slightly awkward. His hand was still on her cheek and he wondered if he should move it or not. He'd never felt this mix of excitement and anxiety before. If Leah hated him now, at least he would have tried. Tried this thing he hadn't realized he wanted before, though it seemed obvious to him now.

 

[Aurora Night]

Rory loved holidays, and the Christmas ones especially, but she was beginning to become more and more convinced that they had drawbacks just like everything else - namely, the fact that she was without her wand and as such completely at the mercy of her Uncle Frank's usual teasing. Now that she knew she was almost as good with a levitation charm as he was, she was itching to prove herself and see him bat away all sorts of small objects like irritating flies for once. Stupid underage rules that wouldn't let her do magic outside of school. Rory was beginning to consider dive-bombing her uncle over the back of the couch, like she had done when she was younger, when she felt a soft pressure on her arm tugging her back firmly. "Now now, Rory, I think you're getting too big for those kind of tactics, yes?" Rory didn't even bother trying to figure out how her Great-Aunt Amelia had known what she was doing - she was easily the cleverest when it came to knowing what everyone in the family was up to. She did resent the intervention, however, particularly when she saw her uncle wink at her and retreat across the room out of her reach.

Frowning, she turned back to her aunt. "I was just about to win that one, you know I was," she pouted heavily. Aunt Amelia only chuckled at her, smoothing some hair away from her face. "I'm sure you were, pet. But I wanted to ask you to do something for me." The elderly woman crouched down as much as she was able, and Rory was suddenly aware of the mischievous glint in her eye. "Do you think you could go find Leah for me?" Rory immediately turned her head to scan the living room, but it seemed her aunt was right - Leah wasn't here. Or Matthew either, actually, she realised. She figured that if she could spot him Leah probably wouldn't be too far behind. Suddenly suspicious, Rory swung her head back to eye her aunt. "Are you betting on something?" she said, narrowing her eyes. She didn't really need an answer though, it was clear enough to see in the elder woman's face. "Fine, I'll go find her." Aunt Amelia nodded, then stood up straight again and gestured towards the front hallway. "I think I saw them go through there, pet," she said with a small smile, before turning and sailing back over to talk to Gran. Rory was left standing by herself, a scrunched up look of confusion mixing itself with the suspicion on her face.

Shrugging, she began heading towards the hallway, a small part of her growing curious as to what might be going on. It was only once she'd bounded through the doorway, however, that she wished she had never wondered. "Ew, gross. They're kissing!" she turned to yell disgustedly back out into the living room, not failing to notice her great-aunt holding out a hand to Uncle Robert expectantly.

 

[Leah Mustard]

One second she had been staring at Matthew, and the next his lips were on hers. It wasn't a demanding or wild sort of kiss, Leah was comforted to realise, and she was strangely more excited than nervous at the light pressure of it. Although, the nervousness was rather predominant as well - of course it was - but it was easy not to think about that. She trusted Matthew, she was safe. Leah started to return the kiss, barely even aware of what she was doing as she operated on instinct alone. Slowly, she felt her arm drift upwards, skimming lightly over the fabric of Matthew's shirt until her hand hesitantly came to rest on his shoulder. She used it almost as a brace, trying to fit herself within his taller frame. Everything felt magnified; it was thrilling, it was mesmerising, it was -

Over. Leah lurched away from Matthew in shock at hearing her younger cousin's voice break so loudly through what had previously been wonderful silence. For a moment it had seemed like no one else existed in the world, and now - now she was too aware that, yes, other people existed, and right now the entirety of her extended family were probably snickering and elbowing each other in the very next room, thanks to Rory's little outburst. Horrified at the feeling of immense embarrassment welling up inside her, Leah looked from her cousin to Matthew, desperately trying to sort out anything writhing inside her other than total mortification. "I... we..." She couldn't seem to look away from Matthew's eyes. She couldn't even begin to explain what had just happened to herself, let alone to anyone else.

 

[Matthew Harper]

Matthew was only just registering that Leah wasn't pushing him away but kissing him back when the moment was promptly ruined by a familiar and very unwelcome voice. He didn't want to stop, but Leah had the right idea and jerked away from him. Even though he knew it wasn't because of his kissing skills, he still felt slightly wounded at the urgency with which she moved away.

In this moment, Matthew would have liked nothing more than to strangle Rory Night. Especially when she turned around and announced what they were doing to Leah's entire family. He wanted to sink through the floor. What if they kicked him out now? He looked at Leah worriedly, but then immediately looked away again. He didn't know what to do or say now. He had made everything between them awkward with this kiss. He looked around desperately and then saw something that could at least be a weak excuse. "Mistletoe." He murmured, nodding up at the ceiling. "See?" He hadn't even noticed it before now, it most definitely hadn't been the reason for kissing Leah, but it just might get Rory off their backs.

 

[Aurora Night]

Rory couldn't believe that hardly any of the adults were even paying attention to the fact that Leah was in the hallway kissing Matthew, other than a few grins or groans from those involved in the bet. Even Aunt Jenny was just sitting there, looking like she couldn't decide whether to send Rory's mum a smile or a grimace - weren't parents supposed to be more concerned about who their daughters might be kissing? Clearly Rory was the only one who thought this was a big deal, which kind of annoyed her. Adults could be so useless sometimes. Turning back to the older pair, she was glad to see that they were too far away from each other to return to any face-sucking business, thank Merlin. Leah looked pretty embarrassed, but Matthew's attempt at excusing what they had been done did nothing to appease her. "Whatever, it's still gross. Why'd you have to do it where people could walk in on you?" She flounced back out to the living room, intent on finding Sophia to bother. At least she wouldn't be kissing anybody. There would be lots of chances to tease Matthew and Leah later. When they were separated and there was no more chance of... that.

 

[Leah Mustard]

Leah was still trying sort out all the churning inside her chest in an effort to respond to her cousin when Matthew said one word that brought all of it to a shocked halt. Mistletoe? All of a sudden Leah could name one of the emotions fighting for prominence inside her... or at least, what it had been. She actually felt herself deflate at the word, bringing all sorts of new confusing spikes of thought into her mind. Matthew had only kissed her because there was... mistletoe. Leah didn't even need to look up and see it, there was a vivid memory of one of her cousins here two years ago with his then girlfriend beating its way to the front of her brain. There had always been a sprig hanging here, every year. Why hadn't she remembered that? Now she was left with the realisation that, whatever she might have tried to tell herself before they had kissed, she cared about Matthew. Really cared about him... as more than a friend. And he cared... about Christmas traditions, it seemed. Leah suddenly found herself fixated on the ugly pattern of the shirt he was wearing. It was like a beacon, screaming at her - 'It's way too warm for a sweater in this weather but I managed to wear a version of an ugly Christmas sweater anyway!' There was a lump building up in her throat, and she felt stupid for not realising Matthew's true reason for kissing her sooner... for getting her hopes up, even if it had only happened for a second.

By the time all of this had passed through her mind, Rory had already left, and Leah was beginning to feel the need to do the same, if just for a moment. Without looking at Matthew, she muttered, "I just remembered, I have to... Gran asked me to check the... the ham in the oven, um, I'll just go do that. You don't need to come with me, I'll be back in a second." She felt terrible about the excuse, an excuse that was actually just a lie really, as she hadn't been asked to do anything of the sort. It made her feel ten times worse, but... ducking over to the kitchen would hopefully give her some time to try and return to normal. Whatever that was right now.

 

[Matthew Harper]

Matthew was glad that Rory was going away again, hopefully he could avoid her for the rest of the evening. Of course she would think it was gross, she was twelve. He just hoped Leah hadn't thought of it like that, that would be a problem.

He turned to Leah, wondering if he should try to tell her how he felt now. But the expression on her face wasn't one he had expected or hoped to see. She looked upset, almost like she was going to cry. What had he done? She had kissed him back, hadn't she? Had he been that bad at it? He wanted to ask her what was wrong, but she wouldn't look at him. Before he could even try to think of what to say, she was telling him she had to go. He wondered if that was really true, but he didn't want to ask. "Sure, yeah." He said awkwardly. Now he would either have to face her family alone when they all knew he had kissed her, or stay out here in the hallway on his own. For the first time, he wished he had gone home.