Quiet meditations

Grause Hitchins

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Wand
Holly/Ebony Wand 12 1/2" Essence of Griffin Feather
Feeling almost suffocated in the castle surrounded by people 24/7 had drawn out all the sociability Vydráel felt he had left! He didn't mind being nice and courteous but in all the places he had been, he had no need to talk to people all the time.
almost physically exhausted from the recent D.A.D.A. training also gave him another excuse to seek out a spot near the lake and he eagerly took an excuse to watch the landscape without anyone around.

Vydráel stiffened his back so he was sitting straight after he had landed rather hard on the ground. Not caring for the pain that shot through his head and almost had him spinning, grinning at the unusual pain from what should have just been a jolt. He surveyed around him and decided it was peaceful enough. Folding his arms across his chest and tucking his legs as close to his body as he could, he closed his eyes and slowed down his breathing.

As his body quietly relaxed to his surroundings and became aware of all the little sounds around him, even some sounds from things under the water. His mother had called this Deep Meditation when she found him doing this in his bedroom one night, thankfully she was never around to witness what usually happened before he went too deep. His body rose about two or three inches off the ground and he almost gasped as the feeling of gravity slackened. Nothing mattered to him at this moment, he felt almost within his element.

On his first day of primary school he had been laughed at by his entire class when they learnt his last name Wyvernblood and he found that year after year, it didn't matter who heard the name: they would hate it. At hogwarts he was almost shocked to discover his name was nothing new, he took heart... however little it helped heal some of the grievances his name caused his life.

He reflected on the day one of the schools biggest bullies had taken an interest in causing Vydráel as much bodily harm as possible while the teacher wasn't watching. He remembered every punch, kick, pinch and then headbut near the end and didn't once give the 'stupid fat boy' the benefit of watching Vydráel cry or so much as blink. His only defence was resisting the pain and he become good at it, too good he thought to himself, I had become so used to this that i thought it was normal... This school, its different or maybe I'm different

Only being here a few days and nights had changed his life slightly and he felt a little unsure if it was a good or bad thing. Sooner or later he would have to face such torment again, at least this time he knew of a world he could escape to when problems began and grinned at the prospect. His concentration faltered at this point and he met gravity painfully on the ground and bit back a cry of pain as his head jerked back at an uncomfortable angle.

He sighed and lay on his back instead.
 
Something was bothering Jolly. It was not her usual clumsiness, nor was it her unsually messy hair. It was not even her low grade in Defence Against the Dark Arts. It was something else...something completely different. And perhaps, more frustrating was that Jolly had no idea what was bothering her. She was in a total fix. Teeth clenched and red hair flying in the wind, Jolly stomped up to the lake for some peace. She wanted to sort out her thoughts. She could see, from a distance, someone lying by the black lake and squinted her eyes to look properly. Who was it?
 
Vydráel felt comfortable on the ground and felt his breath return to normal as his mood went back to calm. He may of hated things in his past but they were there, in his past. Letting them rule him would undo all the work he already HAD accomplished.

He felt the need to meditate again, putting himself in his comfortable and familiar sitting position and letting himself go in his thoughts.
 
As she neared the Lake, Jolly recognized the person immediately. He was sitting up now. Rather straight. It was Vydrael. What was he doing anyway? She walked up in front of him and just looked at him without saying anything. He looked like he was meditating and Jolly didn't want to disturb his thoughts. So, she quietly sat down beside him and closed her eyes too. Maybe meditating would help her as well. Her thoughts were currently jumbled up and it irritated her to no end.
 
"You know." Vydráel began, keeping his eyes closed.
"Sometimes i like to be alone, but then sometimes i like company." his face broke out in a smile, his recent memories haunted him and pep talking himself about it never helped.
"Something on your mind, Jolly?"
 
Jolly's eyes snapped open when Vydrael spoke. His eyes were still closed. She continued to stare at him in amazement. Keeping her voice neutral, she asked him, "How did you know it was me, Vydrael?"
 
Vydráel sighed and opened his eyes. "I wish i knew, it's one of those things i can do. Don't think im not glad for the company, but you didnt answer my question. Something on your mind?" he gave her another smile.
 
Jolly looked away from him, fixing her eyes on the horizon instead. Her thoughts were jumbled and her face was gradually showing the strain. Her eye-shadows were more pronounced. They contrasted horribly with her fair skin. Tears stung her eyes as she tried to think of some way to answer Vydrael's question. But what could she say? What could she say when she herself did not know what was troubling her. She gulped down the lump in her throat and asked her own question, "Does meditation truly help you?"
 
Vydráel knew best then to pry further. "It works if you truly want it to..."
He thought about a way to keep up the topic and frowned as he turned his head from her. "I guess you could say its like a game of chance for some, the less you do it then the harder it is to achieve your goal."
He paused for breath and looked at her again, he smirked a little too manically "Try to think of it as another way to assess your problems and a completely different approach to healing them." he looked away again, scowling at the thoughts that had intruded his prior meditation.
"Just like all things though, it isn't foolproof. Do you want to try?"
 
Jolly sniffed and bent down, pretending to straighten her skirt, while she subtly wiped her wet eyes. From what Vydrael said, meditation sounded like an option right now. No harm in that, right? Besides, she needed a way to get away from reality and confusion right now. "Yeah, sure," she said to him, her voice thick. However, before they could start, Jolly quietly blurted out, "Why do you smirk so much?" It wasn't that his grin irritated him. It was just that he looked manic sometimes. It made her uncomfortable.
 
Vydráel's smile at her agreement faded as she asked him why. "I.. uh..." He stammered. It was the last question he expected.
"It happens before i even stop it.." That part he knew was true but he doubted he could tell her why, knowing it would pop up if he didn't say something else. "I'll try and stop it.. sorry for that.
Inwardly he screamed, it was something that he couldn't control but if he didn't want anyone to suspect.. "Well, meditation isn't really hard to achieve but there are some things you should know if you go too deep." Deciding that talking about another problem could stop her.
"If you go too deep then you need to focus back on here." he added, indicating where they were. "I don't just mean physically but remind yourself." he said as he patted his chest.
"Just who you are, otherwise something could happen." frowning as he knew it would probably confuse her.
"If you really need, i could talk you through a scenario and call you back instead of self taught." Less risk there He wanted to add but knew it might be taken too extremely.
"If you don't want to then it's ok. I never was the best teacher." Inwardly cursing himself for hiding behind himself too much, he had to either change his mask or come clean...
 
Jade was feeling like having some quiet time. She saw two people who were trying to meditate. she sat down beside them and tried to aswell. The sound of the lake was very calming.
 
Vydráel turned his head slightly as he saw a person walk up to them, he frowned as he tried to remember who it was but gave up. "Hey, what's up?" he asked instead
 
"No, no," Jolly said immediately, inwardly scolding herself for blurting things out without thinking. "I like it when you smile," she said hastily. "I really don't have any problem." Now, you are rambling, girl! Jolly clamped her mouth shut and instead listened to Vydrael speak about meditation, feeling really stupid by the second. Vydrael was really confusing her. "You mean, I just have to close my eyes and concentrate on myself?" she asked, frowning slightly. When he gave her an alternative, Jolly said, "What do mean you can talk me through a scenerio? Meaning I have visualize things?" Hmm, that sounded like a good idea. "Sure, if you wanna try." She just needed to sort out her thoughts. And her bloody eyes kept stinging!
 
He gave a nod at the last comment. "Just think of it like looking a picture with only words to guide you, hence why some people say that pictures ARE worth a thousand words."
He had wanted to grin at her statement about smiling but kept his mouth shut, it wouldn't do to scare her or anything. He found it cute though.
"Picture yourself in a room with 3 doors, you have enough light around you for those 3 doors but you have to choose one to enter. One door is directly in front of you and the other two are slightly to the side, one on the left and one to the right."
 
Jolly nodded. She completely understood him. She decided that she would like to visualize, so straightened her back, faced ahead of her and closed her eyes. She forced herself to concentrate on what Vydrael said and began to see blurry images forming inside her mind. She was standing in a deserted room which contained three doors. Which one to choose? she wondered to herself, frowning slightly. She did not open her eyes but turned her face slightly to the right, in Vydrael's direction. Maybe she should choose the right....she did not move though and waited for Vydrael to speak.
 
Vydráel watched her close her eyes, hoping she was visualising as it would be another anchor in the physical world. Her head turned towards him hoping she had chosen the door to her right he continued from there. "Open your chosen door and let your mind go free, what i mean is. Stop your anchor in this world and lift up, higher then the clouds. Just remember your home is here." He looked again with a slight frown, hoping she could meditate and that she wouldn't go too far.
 
Very slowly, Jolly edged forward towards the door on her right. She watched as her arm extended and her fingers closed around the imaginary door knob and pulled. A crease appeared on her forehead again as she urged herself to enter the door. It was dark. Extremely dark. She couldn't see anything. Maybe she had chosen the wrong door.

There was a slam and the door closed behind her. This couldn't be imagining, right? Maybe she had fallen asleep, her imagination wasn't that vivid, was it? She was breathing hard now, completely covered in darkness, panic rising quickly in her chest. I can't open my eyes. Not yet. Not now... Just then, something moved in the darkness around her and Jolly heard a terrible sound.

A gasp escaped her lips and her eyes snapped open. Horrified, she looked around at Vydrael. "I...I...there was...something," she stammered, trying to calm her racing heart-beat. This couldn't be meditation, right? Meditation was supposed to relax people! Jolly felt like she had stepped into ice-cold water as she stared wildly at the boy sitting beside her. Finally, she managed to say, "I can't!"
 
Vydráel saw the panic in her face as she opened her eyes and was a little taken back. "Something?.. like what?" He was a little surprised at her announcement. Maybe i should have gone for the fields of green he wondered to himself.
"Maybe we tried the wrong scenario." He looked at the ground this time, infuriated that he may have done something.
 
The surprise in Vydrael's voice calmed Jolly down a little. But her heartbeats refused to slow down. "I...I don't know, Vydrael," she choked; her chest heaved and she coughed lightly. She was looking away from him and when she looked back, he was staring at the ground, looking angry. Jolly immediately understood. She put a gentle hand on his arm. "Don't blame yourself. I haven't been quite myself for some time. I guess my imagination is just wild," she explained to him. "If you wanna blame someone, blame me."
 
[ooc; that was the shortest post i've ever seen :o ]

Jolly nodded and took her hand from his arm, folding her fingers in her lap. "I am a little shaken," she said truthfully. "But I swear I'll be fine. Let's try the other option. What do I have to do?"
 
(lol my bad, wasn't thinking much :) )

Vydráel cleared his throat at watched the lake for awhile. "Picture yourself where you feel safest, you see yourself on a path and walking down. You don't know where you're going but you know where you have been. The point is to see where your mind takes you." He sighed and looked back at her.
"That last exercise was supposed to show you whats inside you, you're greatest problem at the moment. Obviously it failed and your mind intervened."
 
[ooc; i figured :p ]

Jolly looked down, ashamed of herself. She had a wild imagination. Either that, or she was just weak minded. But she didn't want to think about it so she just nodded curtly. Then, she looked up and said, "Alright, I am ready. Are you..." she paused, "are you gonna do this with me?"
 
Vydráel sucked in his breath and looked her in the eye. "It isn't your fault, weird stuff happens to me when I'm meditating. Sometimes i uh, levitate."
He looked away with a sigh. "I don't know WHAT you saw, but it wasn't your fault."
 

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