Que Ma Joie Demeure

[Cerise Allard]

Cerise had a long day, and it was finally over. Well, it was just in the early afternoon, but since she hosted a morning show, her days were slightly different to most. She woke up early, and generally went to bed early. There were days that she just ended up staying awake longer than most, where she was just up all hours, but that was the nature of her job. It had been a particularly good morning, and the show had gone smoothly, but it had been long, and she was glad that it was finally over and she was at long last able to go home. Cerise had been living in Paris a good number of years, she had been enjoying her time, and using her French, which she had spent a part of life not using as much. She liked the atmosphere of her job and the enjoyment that it brought her. It was just all round better. It was easier, and she couldn't wait to get to work every day. It didn't matter how early some of her starts could be. She just had fun, and enjoyed them easily. Cerise was lacking a little bit in her life, she still looked pretty young, but she was older, and since her boys had left the nest, there was a small amount of emptiness in her life, which no person seemed to be able to fill. It was perhaps one of the reasons why she had thrown herself so much into her work. That was much simpler. it was much easier, and she was happier dealing with that than she was dealing with anything else. She slept around a bit, but, she was careful, and preferred this right now, than falling in love. Which had never ended particularly well for Cess. However, with the work for the day over, and an idea of the run down of the next day Cess was getting ready to go home. It was a cold day outside, and she was well prepared for it. She didn't live too far from the studio, so rather than get a car or the subway, Cerise decided she wanted to walk. The muggle woman, checked her phone one last time, before she put it away in her bag, and then left the studio. She said goodbye warmly to the people left in the writers room, the cleaning crew, and the guards. Cess was the kind of person who just naturally kind to everyone. She soon found herself on the busy streets of Paris.

Cerise was smiling to herself as she walked down the street. She tightened the scarf around her neck, and had her hands in her pocket as she walked down the street. She was naturally tanned, and despite the winter was darker than most. She was wearing a hat, but, her long brown hair kept her ears and neck pretty warm. Cess had a light step, she was generally away with the clouds as she walked, just taking in the sights and sounds of the city around her. Finally she came to her street. Likely most days, Cess wondered into the nearby bakery, and bought some fresh afternoon bread. The fresh batch that dealt with the afternoon rush of people, who preferred not dealing with the morning. She greeted the woman behind the counter brightly, they knew each other well at this point. Though this woman was younger than her by a few years, and unlike Cess her children were just reaching the stage of going to primary school. She almost envied that about the woman, but rather than think on it, she paid for the bread and then headed to her apartment. Cess saw one of her boys more than the other, but because it was midweek, she wasn't expecting either of them. As Cess turned the corner and went down the street to where her house was, she noticed someone sitting on her front step. She was curious as to who it could be, they didn't appear to be asleep, but they also hadn't noticed her yet. It was only when she got closer that she realised who it was. "Sam?" she said, approaching him. She knew a little about what was happening in his life, but if he was here in the middle of the day, in the middle of the week, it could be nothing good. "Sam, what are doing you here?" she said as he got to his feet, closed the distance between them and then wrapped his arms around her. It was a strong bear-like hug, and Cess without thinking just returned the hug, while lightly rubbing his back. She was beginning to figure out what was wrong, it was coming together piece by piece. She held him tightly, and then noticed the suitcase, oh dear. She pulled away slowly, looking at him carefully, "Sweetie, let's go inside" she said softly, putting an arm around her boy and guiding him into the house, which she opened with a little trouble. She guided him inside and brought in the suitcase too, leaving it just at the door on the inside. She guided Sam into the house, and into the living room, "You should've called, I would've come to let you in, you must be freezing." She took her jacket off placing it with the bread on the table, and stood in front of him, wondering if he would need another hug, or if she could make them some coffee. "Do you want me to make some tea or coffee, and you can tell me what happened?"
​

 

[Samuel Phillips]

After the past few months with New York heavily in his sight, there was no denying the events of today hit Samuel like a tonne of bricks. Throughout the afternoon he tried to remain optimistic to keep himself sane, though in all honestly his heart had dropped too far for optimism's sake. What was originally a morning filled with excitement had turned to an afternoon mess. Samuel was emotional and completely guilt-ridden. Everything in his existence believed this was a terrible dream, a nightmare he would soon awake from and into the life he knew. Since moving to France, creating an escape and his own home away from New Zealand, leaving someone close to him was something Sam never thought he would go through again. Seeing the same people and following the same routine every day was a life he'd grown accustomed to. So much so, that until now the idea of change seemed foreign and terrifying in every way. That's why it had taken him so long organize a move to New York or even consider the possibility. Fear of shaking or destroying the blissfully boring stable life he knew. These last six years had been the best of Samuel's life, of course he was afraid to change that. Amara was his first (and only) love so far and one of the few people that knew him well. Not once, during the five years their relationship lasted, or in the rest of his life did he think he would call her an ex. The word tasted bitter, surreal on his tongue as he said it out loud. This couldn't be real. This just couldn't. He was stupid, a total idiot for assuming she'd always be by his side, and not realizing that taking this brave leap forward meant leaving her and losing the chance to ever go back. When Sam arrived at Cerise's door, exhausted and with a suitcase in tow, he didn't contact her. Knowing that a few hours on her doorstep alone would give him time to process everything. Was this move worth losing Mari? Was anything worth losing Mari? He realized now that change was inevitable, and whether it was selfishness or bravery that forced him away from his newly sold apartment to a family member's doorstep he didn't know. Though he was certain that staying in Paris, unhappy and unmotivated was something nobody deserved.

The amount of time Samuel spent waiting became none but a blur, fuzzed memories as his head titled up towards Cerise's soft, familiar voice. Without so much as a warning he ignored her question, shot to his feet and trapped her in a suffocating embrace. He never intended to let her go. He never wanted to. She is, was, and always will be his rock so now that his heart weighed his body down he needed her more than ever. From the moment he voiced his desire to move, shared his ideas to her she was nothing but the supportive mother figure he always knew. Turning to her for a comfort he couldn't find elsewhere was the thing he needed most. There was a time six years ago when Samuel craved, needed a stable and loving place to go after finishing school and facing the death of his parents. To a lost, confused eighteen year old Paris was a dream. The dream. Six years later, all the 'stability' did was hold him back. Remains of the Paris 'dream' solely included his family. Family that he could always go back to and rely on during the darkest of times. He wanted more, he wanted the whole package, and it was the whole package that Paris no longer held. Sam didn't feel the need to explain this to Cess when he reluctantly let her pull away and drag him inside. By now he'd worn the the subject down to the bone, he'd said it all so many times. "I didn't call because I didn't want to disturb you, and I wanted to be alone for a bit." He spoke as he wheeled his charmed suitcase to the end of the sofa. "And I'm not freezing." A thin cotton t-shirt did nothing to shelter him from the cold, though he lied for Cess' sake. When everything else was a mess, the last thing Samuel wanted to do was cause her worry. "Don't want tea. Don't want coffee either." Cerise's place felt like home, so Sam had no qualms taking the liberty to sit on the sofa, hold his head back and shut his eyes to make himself comfortable. "If I'm honest, all I want to do is get really drunk and fall asleep." He adjusted his glasses slightly before opening an eye, querying her for permission to get plastered. "Yeah?" ​

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[Cerise Allard]

Cess was happy living in Paris, she loved living in France it had been perfect for her, after losing her closest friends, the move had made sense to her. She couldn't have done it any other way. Though in the same way that she did miss the little things about Boston that she remembered. Seeing Sam today was more than a little unexpected, he visited her a little more often than her biological son did, but this was not the usual day, or even time that he did. Cess was sure that they hadn't arranged to meet today. She could tell from his deflated body language and the way he'd been sat that something was wrong. Cess was sure that she knew what it was about. Though the woman made no motion to show that she did. She was just acting like nothing was wrong, like she wasn't trying to figure it out. If she'd learned anything about Sam in having known him all these years and really seeing him as a son, that eventually he'd tell her what had caused this impromptu visit. Cess wrapped her arms around him on the front step, and let the hug linger until they headed inside. She ignored the suitcase that moved by itself. Despite both the boys being magical, she still wasn't that used to it. She didn't really like it. It was a strange thing, that Cess really didn't understand that well. However, this was not the time for her to be thinking about what she didn't like about magic. That was pointless. She smiled at her boy as he told her that she didn't want to disturb her. She gave a small laugh, but understood why the boy had wanted to be alone. "Sweetheart you wouldn't have disturbed me, but, I can understand you wanting to be alone" she told him, as she began taking off her outer jacket and other layers. Ignoring him as he made himself comfortable on the sofa. At his words, she couldn't help but let out a little laugh. "Well, it's a good thing we live in the country of wine" she said with a smile, "Or we looking for something harder?" she said, as Cerise slipped off her shoes and headed into the kitchen, to find them something to drink. It was still early in the day really, but at least for Cess she had started her day earlier than more, so this to her was late rather than early. That was the nature of working on a morning tv show.

Cess took a bottle of white wine from her collection, as well as bottle of her finest scotch whisky that had been sitting in her kitchen, she didn't really drink whisky, it wasn't her go to drink, which the wine was and then took a few appropriate glasses for the drinks that she had grabbed from the kitchen. Cess wondered into the room, and then placed the different things down on the table in front of the sofa that Sam was sat at. Before then going back into the kitchen to grab the bottle opener. Cess was a very self sufficient person, she'd been living alone ever since both her boys had moved away. She'd gone through various guys but none of them ever ended up getting to the living together stage. She opened the bottle of white wine, and then poured herself a glass. She let Sam help himself, before then taking a seat next to him. She raised the glass to her lips and took a small sip of the liquid. She was smiling slightly, but she knew that something had happened and it couldn't be good. "So, what happened?" She prompted, hoping that she could figure out why he was here, though her mind was coming up with other, countless reasons. "I mean, I'm happy to see you, I always am, but something's happened, I'm a mom, mom's know these things" she didn't want to make it sound like she was ungrateful for his company, but she knew that there had to be a reason for him being here with her, in the middle of the day, on a weekday. She was smiling softly at Sam. Unsure if she should say anything else to get him talking, but instead she realised that possibly the best thing for her to do in this situation was to just stay quiet, drink and eventually he'd tell her what was going on.
​

I'm so sorry this has taken so long, and that it's such a terrible response.

 

[Samuel Phillips]

Samuel eagerly filled the glass with whiskey and held it to his lips, downing the liquid until his throat began to burn. All he wanted was forget today, and wake up tomorrow with a new found lease on life. He wanted to feel excited about New York, about the fresh start he longed for. Finding that sense of normality through alcohol was worth the bitter aftertaste he usually despised. By the time Cess returned to the living room with a bottle opener his fingertips tingled with loss of feeling, vision dithering to a transparent blur. His decision to avoid food since breakfast originally seemed careless, however suddenly became useful as the effects of his whiskey began showing at the end of his second glass. Sam enjoyed the momentary sense of wellbeing clouding his thoughts. That was, until Cess killed the silence and queried him. His near glazed eyes shot to the floor. Not wanting to talk about what dragged him and his belongings to her door unannounced, he used the excuse of refilling his glass to evade response. While he ignored her question, a nagging thought in the back of his mind knew no matter how many times he changed the subject, sipped from his glass or refused to answer, Cess wouldn't quit. After a few additional sips of whiskey within an awkward silence his ambitions lowered enough to give in. "I don't know where to start." He titled the glass, focusing more on the liquid inside than the conversation. "I was so excited for New York that I began packing early. Then Mari walked in on me. I had to tell her, and she didn't take the surprise well." Cramming what happened the past few weeks into a few sentences proved more difficult than his tipsy mind first thought. This wasn't as easy as ripping off a band aid. "After that she either gave me the cold shoulder, or acted like nothing was wrong." Cess knew about the failed surprise, but not the aftermath. Not the way it crumbled his relationship within a month. He avoided telling her before, fearful if he opened up to her it would make the situation seem real. "New York became an elephant in the room, until I brought it up today." The adverse tone constricting his words posed enough of a hint what went down only a few hours ago. "It was the final straw I guess."

Never mind any attempt he made to shrug it off, and convince himself everything was okay. Deep down he knew it wasn't. Even in his heavy state of denial he already began admitting his fate: That despite everything he wished, he was moving to New York alone. "I don't know how I feel right now." He continued, knowing that unless he spoke until his mouth turned dry Cess would continue prodding. "I'm sad, but not devastated. I guess I'm more shocked than anything." With a final mouthful he emptied his glass, not bothering to pour another as he relaxed into the sofa. The biggest question lingering in his mind was what he would do after settling into his new apartment. How he would fill his time, distract himself from the never-ending reminders he was alone. While he knew Clementine would sit around with him, watch movies, waste the days away, he also knew she had a life away from their friendship. She didn't deserve to have a pathetic mess attached to her hip. "I snuck a few glasses of whiskey while you were gone, by the way." Speaking suddenly became easier, now that the topic of conversation turned impersonal. "It's obvious, isn't it?" He shot Cess a glance, noting she was significantly less affected by the alcohol than he was. "How much have you had to drink?" The question left his mind completely as he leaned forward to pour himself another helping of whiskey. He raised his glass and managed another small smile. "Cheers." This was the kind of drunk he liked to be. Warm and relaxed, while not un-coordinated or sloppy. In a less abnormal state he would choose to stop here. However tonight was different, tonight his aim was to drink himself stupid. By the end of it all he wanted to find himself passed out on the floor.

"terrible response"? Your posts win all over mine.​

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[Cerise Allard]

Cerise was sure that something had happened, she settled herself in front of him, allowing him the time to get started, no need to rush anything. She wasn't sure if this was the best way about it, but it was clear while reluctant that he did want to talk about. She wasn't sure if she was making the right decision with what she was doing, allowing him to drink right now. Not being overly blind to the environment around her, she realised as she took a sip of her wine that he was perhaps drinking a little quicker than her. But, who was Cess to judge. He wasn't a little boy anymore she couldn't control what he drank. That wasn't up to her. She was only there to help him. And really the amount of times she'd drowned her own heartache with the bitter taste of alcohol, she could say nothing about what he was doing really. That was his choice. Cerise was happy to just let him talk. To just let him begin with what he was saying. Not that she felt like she could be much help to him. She'd try to help really, but it was unlikely that she'd be able to help. She'd like Mari, mostly because she made Sam happy, but the minute that stopped being true, that was when she no longer liked her at all. The woman listened to what he was saying, glad that he was happy about moving. While she understood that at that age, moving between places was easy, perhaps she had settled where he hadn't. However, that wasn't a terrible thing. But, rather than saying anything, Cess allowed Sam to continue. She reached out to him, and lightly took his hand. Squeezing as he talked about how he felt. She knew that heartbreak was tricky. She had not been particularly lucky with men. Sure, she had two amazing boys, but romantic relationships were not a strong suit of hers.

"If you are sad, but not devastated, then perhaps what happened was for the best" she approached carefully. She knew that when people were upset even the slightest wrong word could make things a lot worse. Cess didn't want to make things worse, so she was treading carefully. Unsure of how best to approach it, but not wanting to let the silence boil over. She took a small sip of her wine, and watched as he downed the whiskey in his glass. "You know, sometimes relationships just run their course and end. So, you are shocked, but maybe just remember all the good that happened between you and Mari, and realise that while you wanted to move forward she didn't. The Sam and Mari part of your life is over, but it'll open more doors you didn't think would open." Cess was admittedly rambling just a little bit, but she figured that he couldn't speak all of the time, and a little bit of input from her was probably a nice change. However, as she finished off her glass, she smiled at his reveal. Cess laughed lightly and nodded a little. "Yeah, a little bit" she told him in a friendly manner, not showing any sign of disapprovement. If he wanted to get black out drunk then he should be able to. She looked at the wine bottle and just shrugged. Pouring herself another glass. "Not as much as you, but wine is also lower in alcohol content, so you know" she smiled at him, deciding that while she wouldn't be able to catch up, she could at least try to catch up. Drinking a little more quickly. "Cheers" she responded with a smile, "you know, when my first real relationship came to an end, I drank myself silly for like a month. The only reason I stopped was because I no longer had any money." she chuckled lightly, the month was not a good month, she had a good many regrets during it, but it had been part of her growing up, and she was happy that she'd followed that path.

"I sometimes wonder what happened to him, where he ended up, but, it's just a passing thought. I remember how much fun we had, but we took different paths, how the relationship wasn't as good as it could've been. He was always so critical of me, because I wasn't that studious and I didn't really go to school. I had bigger things to deal with. So while I loved him, and I was sure at the time he'd be the one, I realised after it ended that it was a good thing." She had been slowly sipping her wine as she'd spoken. She hoped that she didn't sound like she was making it about her, but it was one way of just talking about things, and getting his mind away from what had happened.
​

 

[Samuel Phillips]

A cheers to nothing but getting drunk for the sake of getting drunk, and losing any ill-emotions with an alcohol centered mask was typical, but it was everything Samuel needed in this moment. Call it cowardly, but never having to deal with a 'real' break up before terrified him like nothing he could ever imagine. Unlike his previous relationships, what he shared with Mari had never been part of a spiral of self-destruction and a cry for attention he was desperate to have at the age of seventeen. No, what they had was genuine, pure and real. He didn't know how he could overcome his feelings and move on with his life but he had no choice to mourn every happiness he shared with her the past five years. "You make it sound so easy." He spoke after realizing his hazed thoughts had become more prominent than the here and now. Not knowing whether it was the whiskey hitting his body hard and fast or whether it was his grief overcoming his ability to focus, he ran his hand through his messed up hair and tugged on it slightly in the hope he could stay conscious enough to muse over today's events with one of the two people he could call his family. An unexpected visit held enough rudeness in itself, let alone ignoring Cess thanks to every drop of alcohol in his system. It hardly seemed possible but his body felt like it had sunken further into the sofa as the whiskey continued to dull his senses and inhibitions. "Whoever that guy was, I'm glad you managed to get over him." Right now, getting over Mari and creating a new life seemed far out of reach. While every single human being endured a terrible break up during the course of their lives, Samuel had a feeling this would be his last and only break up. The thought of enduring such an unusual form of sadness, shock, and denial again made him sick to his stomach. It seemed is romantic future was an empty book, a book with pages he never intended to write. With this thought in mind Samuel drank the remaining amount of whiskey from his glass and sat forward to place it on the coffee table.

Leaning forward to place his glass on the table seemed like a good idea until Samuel's head began spinning and full effects of the whiskey punched him square in the face. "Crap." He said as he lifted a hand to his forehead. Before moving from the comfort of the sofa he failed to realize how drunk he truly was, and had become in such a short amount of time thanks to the lack of food in his stomach. He sighed somewhat annoyed but more lethargic than anything else before he continued to speak. "I'm really drunk, aren't I?" The question was rhetorical, so instead of waiting for an answer he shuffled over to rest his head on Cess' knee in a cry for comfort and sense of stability. Not only for his spinning head but for the unknown. He wanted a constant and Cess was nearly the only constant he was privileged enough to have. "I love you." He spoke in with a hushed tone and total honesty as he realized how lucky he was to still have Cess around. Surely anyone else would have bolted after reaching the realization they would have to look after him for the rest of their lives. "I don't want to stop drinking, but I probably should." He continued talking, saying what was on his mind without a care in the world for his words nor their consequences. "And I haven't eaten since this morning, dammit." His features cringed and stomach churned at the thought of food. While eating seemed like common sense in his alcohol fueled mind he knew it would make him sick in more ways than one. Nausea and food hardly mixed and judging by the intensity the room was spinning, eating would only end in a mess. All he could do now was lean on Cess for comfort and wait until he either eventually passed out or sobered up enough to get himself into bed.


sorry for the wait!​

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[Cerise Allard]

Some might call Cess a bad mother for allowing her son to get drunk like he was but she would always deny that. She knew she wasn't perhaps the greatest mother but she tried her hardest and since he was an adult she knew that her telling him to stop would be as pointless. If he couldn't get it here, he would go somewhere else and in Cess' mind she preferred having him here where she could at least look after him. Break ups were never fun and they felt like your heart was being torn from within you, so she knew that this was the kind of time where he shouldn't be alone. Where a bar would be of no use. So, while some might call her a bad mother she'd argue that they just didn't know that you treat your grown up kids like adults and not like teenagers. "Sweetie it's not easy, it's not but you'll be okay" She told him with a serious tone. There was no use lying to him, she knew that every person experienced break ups differently so, she couldn't for certain say that it wouldn't be easy for him, but it was better to be real with him rather than pretending that everything would fine when he resurfaced after this drunken stupor. The woman was sipping her drink at a much slower pace than he was, understandably so, since rather than just having broken up with someone all Cerise did was her normal day, like she was sure he'd thought he'd do too. She'd been to work, and with the way her schedule it meant that really she could drink quicker since it was her evening but Cess wanted to be more alert for her boy. It made sense that she would drink less to ensure that he would be alright. It annoyed her to see her son in such a state. She all she wanted for him was to give him the world, both him and Jon, and so when one of them was hurt she didn't quite want to have to handle it, and she felt irrationally angry at Mari. She'd always liked the girl, but she had caused her son unhappiness so she wasn't happy with that in the slightest.

The woman watched curiously as Sam leaned forward seemingly to place the glass on the table in front of them. She was watching carefully incase she needed to quickly step in and catch it before it hit the ground. It didn't matter if she failed, glass was glass and it could very easily be replaced. But, it seemed like he just managed to get it on the table. She just gave a small laugh and nodded at his question. She didn't mind it, but knew that he really wasn't looking for a real answer. She just watched him careful, as he rested his head on her knee. She took this opportunity to just put her own glass on the table and just smiled slightly as she ran her hand through his hair. Barely hearing the thing he said next. She smiled slightly, she was lucky to have her two boys. She loved them both. And she hoped she'd done their father right, and in Sam's case also his mother. She knew that biologically Sam wasn't hers, but that didn't stop him from being her boy. She'd raised him, helped raise him. Looked after him, and would always continue to look after him. Cess was a mother first and everything else came after that. "I love you too Sam" she said to him with a smile on her face, it was always nice to hear those words, even if they were said by a drunk young man. "I won't stop you from having another drink" She told him softly, knowing that it was up to how he dealt with this. And she'd just always support him. She could hardly advise in such things, he had to make his own mistakes. He had to make the mistakes that he could learn from if he wanted to. "You probably should've eaten but it's too late for that now. I can make you something if you want" she just continued to lightly run her hand through his hair. If he passed out, then she'd sit with him until he woke up again. If he wanted to go to bed then she'd take him to the room she had for him. She didn't want to force him to do anything. She was pretty content with just sitting with him. Even if it was in a slight tipsy haze. "What ever you want, I'm here for you" she told him softly, it was not the way she thought her day would turn out, but stranger had things had happened.
​

I swear next time, I won't take ridiculously long to reply