Playing with her food

[Harriet Turner]

It had been a few days since Harri had broken up with Kevin, she had spent all of her time alone in her dorm and had only come down to the Great Hall to eat at most twice a day or outside to exercise.
As she walked down to the hall for her first meal of the day, dinner, she couldn't help but continue to feel guilt eating away at her. Surely after you broke up with someone you were meant to feel down, to mope around but she didn't. She felt almost relieved and free and this had been the cause of her worry.
She and Kevin had bonded so well together, they had always seemed perfect for each other and the realisation that they clearly had not meant as much to each other as she had first thought was almost distressing.
As usual her usual routine for coping, or not coping, with problems had come back around. Secluding herself and complusive exercise, she hadn't been able to write to any of her family members. They all knew her far to well for that they would pick up the signs and worry for no reason. She knew it wouldn't be long untill she returned to her normal self, though she knew she had lost quite alot of weight, They'll notice straight away, she thought suddenly, christmas was next month and she had been planning on going home but right now she was starting to think that wouldn't be possible. She was beginning once again hide the fact that her eating habits were out of the window and she was loosing weight, she wasn't terribly skinny but her clothes had all turned to big and the dress and tights she were wearing looking too big for her frame.
Arriving at the great hall she sat down at a small table to the side not fancying sitting with the over excited first years at the Gryffindor table. She glared at the food infront of her picking up her fork and playing with the food but not eating a thing.

 

[Nina Patrokov]

Nina was sitting in her dorm room writing to Brogan to try and get her mind away from her exams, when they saw each other at the Three Broomsticks it had worked so well, of course. Ever since then she had been happy and joyful, why shouldn't she though? She was with someone that she liked even longer and more then Alex. So she put on a over sized green and blue plaid shirt and some skinny jeans. She slipped on some flats and walked out of her dorm room to go get some dinner, she was suddenly starving.

When she reached the Great Hall she spotted a girl that looked quite familiar sitting at the Gryffindor. She smiled and walked over to her and sat down across from her, when she was sitting her eyes widened and said, "Harri?" Nina was in shock that Harri was this small, she didn't look healthy at all, and this worried her. "You're so.. small," she whispered in shock. She bit her lip and looked at the young girl worriedly.

 

[Harriet Turner]

Harri looked up as someone said her name, "Hey Nina," she said smiling a small smile.
"Small?" she said laughing it off, "It must be the light," she said sitting up straighter.
"How are you?" she asked, keen to move the topic from her.

 

[Nina Patrokov]

Nina narrowed her eyes at Harri and said, "You're lying to me." She bit her lip anxiously and asked in a small voice, "What's wrong?" She didn't want to see Harri like this, she looked so unhealthy and sad, something was wrong. Nina sighed carefully and then said, "I'm fine... you?" She didn't care enough to respond properly about herself now, it didn't matter, not now anyways.

 

[Harriet Turner]

Harri sighed quietly, "I broke up with Kevin," she said quietly.
"And I feel bad for not feeling bad about it," she said shaking her head, "I sound crazy don't I?" she said laughing, her voice sounding dry and a bit distant. She had a sip of water before twirling and playing with the food in front of her and pushing the plate away from her,"Full," she said smiling, it was what she had done before, when she had had the anorexia, it always seemed to work because no-one usually noticed.

 

[Nina Patrokov]

Nina frowned at Harri's words but she shook her head and said, "No not at all, but you shouldn't feel badly Harri." She sighed gently and she hopped over the table in one fluid motion so she was sitting beside Harri being very cautious of the food on the table. Nina wrapped her arms around Harri's shoulders and said when she felt Harri's bony shoulders, "Harri, you should eat." She pursed her lips nervously then the corners twitched downwards into a frown and said, "Please." She didn't know that Harri ever had any eating disorders but she wasn't unfamiliar with them, she hadn't ever had one but she had several friends that had any. Nina knew the signs perfectly and she thought that Harri could have some.

 

[Harriet Turner]

"But I shouldn't feel good about breaking up with him should I?" Harri said, she was clearly feeling very guilty, "So now I actually feel really bad," she said shaking her head.
"I had a big lunch," the lie was out of her mouth before she could stop, she was slowly and surely slipping back into old ways. She cursed herself for not putting on a bigger hoodie to hide it a bit more, but the truth was she actually didn't think she could eat right now.
"And you should eat, your looking very skinny," she said, she was envious of Nina she looked so..perfect.

 

[Nina Patrokov]

Nina sighed fighting rolling her eyes at Harri's foolish guilt. "Harri, you can feel what ever you want, you cared about Kevin, you tried to date him long distance for a long time, you don't have to feel guilty about anything, besides you're young." She smiled at Harri but it fell when she said that she had a big lunch. "Harri, are you eating at all?" Nina asked anxiously, not commenting on what she said about herself, Nina had always been skinny, and she had always eaten hoards of food, she had an extremely fast metabolism, it helped that she worked out constantly as well.

 

[Harriet Turner]

Harri smiled and nodded, "Yeah I guess your right," she said, but Kevin had just lost his parents and now Harri had dropped that on him, it just didn't seem fair. She took a deep breath knowing she couldn't keep blaming herself.
"Of course I eat," she said smiling, and crossing her fingers under the table. A childish thing to do but it made her feel better about lieing to Nina, "I mean I eat, I run I do everything I'm meant to," she said, "I mean you can tell I eat look," she said poking her flat stomach as if it were huge and frowning, maybe she should run more often.

 

[Nina Patrokov]

Nina looked at Harri with wide eyes, as she poked her stomach as if she was 200 pounds. "Harri, you look like you're going to pass out from malnutrition," Nina began. "Harri you have to eat," she nagged quietly. She hugged Harriet as she murmured carefully, "You're scaring me love." She ran her hand through Harri's hair like she was a mother or an older sister, she was like this with all of her friends when something like this was happening, and Harri was already like her younger sister.

 

[Harriet Turner]

Harri laughed gently, "Malnutrition? Don't be daft Nina I eat like theres no tommorow," she said dismissvly, "Look," she said picking up a grape and shoving it in her mouth, she would pay for that later she knew.
"Scaring you?" she said in mock confusion, "Why would I scare you?" she asked, but she lent against Nina a she hugged her. Nina was the older sister she never had and she felt comforted even by her presence.

 

[Nina Patrokov]

Nina rolled her eyes as Harri ate a grape, it was only a grape, and she didn't trust Harri with this, anything else she would. "Harri, if you don't gain the weight again I will go talk to the Nurse," Nina warned carefully then sighed, "I'm only saying this because I care you know." She bit her lip as she thought of a way to get Harri to eat again, this was bad, very bad.

 

[Harriet Turner]

"No Nina please," Harri said, her eyes wide in a silent plea. She hated being in that hosptial before, all the nurses commenting on 'how those girls seemed to get younger everyday', it was only Tommy that had kept her sane for those few weeks. She was lucky that she had a good sense of will power, she had been quick to realise it was wrong and stopped and started eating again but she had her family there, people who loved her. Right now she was far from home, school was her danger zone. Where she felt like she could get away with things more easily.
"You care, I know you care," she repeated Nina's words.
"Nina when I was younger..." she began then stopped, "When I was younger I was bordering on anorexia," she said quietly, she would leave out the belimia for now. "And sometimes when things get on top of me I feel myself slipping back. But I don't want to go back to that," she said, she looked like a little girl now, her shoulders hunched and fear in her voice. "I don't want to but I can't stop myself," she said so quietly it was barely audiable.

 

[Nina Patrokov]

Nina's heart went out to Harri and she hugged her warmly and said, "Harri, everything will be alright, just don't starve yourself." She sighed gently and said honestly, "If you need help with anything you can talk to me you know, it's what I'm here for." She hugged Harri once more and said, "Eat something..and I'll be satisfied for today.. "

[yuck small post sorry]

 

[Harriet Turner]

((Its fine ))

"Okay," Harri siad, she would try her hardest know. She remembered the face of a particularly sneering nurse and was overcome with emotions she had hated her so much, the way she hadn't helped at all but had turned so nice when her dad or uncle was there.
"Eat something," she repeated nodding. She looked at the food infront of her, it was actally making her feel quite sick, but she fought it. She had been down this road once, she had relapsed last year but no more, she wouldn't do it again she had Nina to help her now. She closed her eyes and breathed slowly, I can do this, she thought determindly. She opened her eyes and picked up her fork, she put a little pasta on it and stared at it, she felt bile rise up her throat, "I can't," she said dropping the fork so it clattered around. Her hands were shaking as she looked at Nina, "Maybe later," she said closing her eyes once more.

 

[Nina Patrokov]

Nina watched as Harri tried to eat, but couldn't. Nina frowned at this, she was getting quite scared for her friend. "Harri, Nurse Sidney is really good, she helped me a lot, and she wont judge you or anything, last year I confided in her with all of my problems, please come with me," Nina pleaded but trying to keep her dignity. "Come on love," Nina said as she stood up, she carefully helped Harri as well, feeling her shake but she ignored it as best as she could, she decided that she would tell Sidney if Harri would come with her.

 

[Harriet Turner]

"No Nina please," Harri pleaded, her whole body began to shake at the mention of nurses, she hated all hosptials and the thought was terrifying.
"Just show me what you want me to eat and I'll eat it," she siad plonking down on the bench again, her hands where shaking and she had to close her eyes to steady her breathing. Her hands still shook as she placed them on the table opening her eyes once more.

 

[Nina Patrokov]

Nina looked at Harri softly and hugged her gently and said, "You don't have to be afraid Harri, Sidney is really nice and is a good nurse, come on Harri, this way I know you wont throw your food up." She pet Harri's hair softly and said, "If you want I can get the Nurse to come here instead but we're sort of making a scene." She shrugged her shoulders she didn't care but she hoped that Harri would just come with her.

 

[Harriet Turner]

"Nina please," Harri said her eyes growing wide as Nina suggested bringing the nurse down.
"Please," she repeated, her voice defeated. "I need a few minutes first," she whispered.
"Please," she repeated again, "please," it was the only thing that would come out again as she defeatedly felt a tear trickled down her face. She wiped it away quickly, she was a Gryffindor. She was strong she wasn't about to break down now.

 

[Nina Patrokov]

Nina nodded her head then as her friend began crying she wiped her eyes gently and said reassuringly, "C'mon Harri, it'll be fine." She smiled warmly at her friend then stood up firmly and put her hand out to help Harri up, she had a feeling that this wouldn't be too great anyways.

 

[Harriet Turner]

Harri reluctantly stood up her hands were shaking, "Come on then," she tried to joke but her voice was too shaky. "You know I really don't want to go," she siad looking into Nina's eyes, her green eyes pleading. "I think I need to try myself first," she finally said, "Hospitals freak me out," she confided quietly.

 

[Nina Patrokov]

Nina smiled weakly at Harri and said, "It's alright, pixie's scare me." She grinned at Harri to show that she was making light of the subject. She smiled nicely at her friend and led her towards the Wing.

[can you start love?]

 

[Harriet Turner]

((Sure))

Harri laughed shakily, "I think pixies scare everyone, they can be pretty vicious," she said smiling.