On the way home

C

Cloe Lestrange

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Cloe stepped out onto the cobbled street, the chilly mist causing a ripple of goose bumps to errupt down her spine. Tucking a tuft of blond hair behind her ear, she set out into the night, her cloak bustling about behind her. Her hand clasped around her wand firmly.
 
Joshua was taking a walk around town, sticking to the shadows so as not to be seen by anyone from the ministry. He was recently a free man, and did not want to be caught again. He noticed a familiar-looking woman walking down the street, though not quite sure he knew how he knew her. He decided to follow her to see where she went and see if that maybe brought some recognition to his brain.
 
As the cold night air whiped around her, Cloe had a distinct feeling of being followed. She peered over her shoulders every now and then, wavering between fear and discomfort, she pulled out her wand just to be safe.
 
Joshua stayed in the shadows, hovering behind far enough not to be noticed until he was ready to be. He kept trying to figure out where he recognized this woman from. Maybe she was at Lucius' trial? Maybe a lover? I wish she would turn enough to be able to see her face. He kept behind her, wand at the ready, willing her to turn around in the light of the streetlamp.
 
As Cloe rounded another street, she slowed and then paused under a street lamp, turning to look around. Drawing out her wand, she pointed it randomly about and called into the darkness, "Who's there? Show yourself!"
 
If anyone would have been able to see Joshua's face, they would have noticed the shock that registered across it when the woman turned. Cloe. I haven't seen her in years. He quickly composed himself so his face would again be stoic and unemotional. Pulling the hood of his cloak closer around his face, he stepped from the shadows and approached the woman. Moving the hood back just far enough for her to see his face, he spoke.

"Hello Cloe. It's been a long time." His voice was cold, emotionless as he spoke, even though his heart was pounding. After all this time, she still has this effect on me.
 
"Joshua..?" Cloe said in utter disbelief. Gazing at him with soft eyes, she couldn't help but feel rather weak. "How have you been?" she asked, lowering her wand. Joshua looked about the same as she remembered. He was still as handsome as he'd been twelve years before.
Suddenly a new feeling took over her, the one she had come to be so familiar with in the past years since Joshua's unanticipated disappearance. Of course Cloe hadn't really expected him to stick around forever, but she had to admit she did have her hopes, only making his departure all the more shocking.
"Where have you been all these years?" Cloe said with a different tone of voice. She'd been resenting him since he left her bearing their child whom she was certain he still knew nothing of. Unsure whether to bring up the subject of Blake, she continued wait impatiently for his answer, her expression full of scorn at this point.
 
"I have been here and there. I thought you were in England." Joshua responded. He kept his voice very measured and calm, although he was not at all on the inside.
This was a woman that had actually had him toy with the idea of marriage. He chose to follow his friend Tristan instead and join the Death Eaters "What brings you to New Zealand?"
 
Surprised at how Joshua had responded so calmly, Cloe only felt even more disdainful towards him, despite any other feelings she felt completely aware of. Tucking another tuft of blond hair behind her ear, she continued to glare at Joshua.
"I've been living here for the past twelve years. I must say, you proved extremely difficult to track," she said in a cold voice. "The irony of running into you again, here of all places, I truly cannot begin to explain. What happened? You just... left! Without a word!" Cloe felt her voice rising on end.
 
"I had things to do. Things that did not involve you." His gaze was still stoic, not revealing anything. "It was nothing that you did." He hated the way that she glared at him. Deep down, he had to admit he still cared for her, but would not endanger her by being a part of her life again. "I needed to take care of things before I could return, and by that time, you had left."
 
"Well that was selfish of you," Cloe said barely over a whisper. "You could not have picked the perfect time to leave..." she added, deciding not to ponder the details. What reason did she have of telling this man, whom she could've easily brushed off as a stranger; that they had a child? Their past together, at this point, seemed a useless and disappointing fact, and nothing more. More over, it really depended on whether Joshua was in any position where he could be a father figure to a boy whom knew nothing about him and vice versa. She didn't want to stir up her son's life after he'd been through hell losing the man who raised him from infancy.
Nor could she not bring it upon herself to break the news to him now, not after so many years of the intense sorrow he'd left her with. Having had to succumb to loving another; purely out of her better judgement for what was in her child's intrest at the time.
That was not to say that Cloe had reluctantly agreed to marry Amycus Zepline; her deceased husband who had willingly taken her in when the world had shunned her because of the illegitimate child she had then been carying. She loved him truly, but of course, one can never forget a former lover.

((hmm.. okay, so it i think i should edit the timeline considering blake is 11 years old which would mean cloe and joshua would've been together about 12-13 years before the current year; 2018. sophia helped me realise this by showing me her timeline))
 
Joshua raised his eyebrow at the idea that he was selfish. He knew that he was, and did not need this woman to be telling him what he already knew. "The perfect time? What do you mean by that?" he stated smoothly. His hood slipped back to reveal his full head to Cloe. "You left the country. None of my contacts were able to trace you." He remembered the horrible feeling of coming back to the flat they had shared after he had completed his task and finding it empty. His eyes narrowed as he stared at her, wondering what kind of explanation she would offer.
 
"I waited for you for three months!" she said, her voice rising again. She was angry at how much time had passed, and how different things were now. "I had to leave, the Ministry of Magic in England moved me here. I couldn't not go! I'd already put hold my life for months for you, what did you expect? That I'd stay after you deserted me?" she was screaming now. Furious at Joshua, Cloe was more surprised that she still held so much against him. All this anger she let boil inside.
She never talked to Amycus about her past, and she never dared mention it to Blake. This was probably the first time she'd come to terms with what had happened.
Breathing heavily, Cloe felt her eyes begin to water, and soon enough she felt hot tears trickle down her cheeks. It was all too much to keep in, after holding it in for so many years, she was a little relieved to let it all out at some point rather than never.
 
"Yes, actually. I expected to be able to find you when I came back, if you were not still in our home." Joshua said, his voice had raised in decibel, but still in control. "And I never deserted you. I had work to do. I had no choice on if I was going or not. I came back as soon as I could." His words were the truth, even if he spoke with no feeling behind them.
He looked Cloe in the eyes and realized she was crying. His eyes softened as he watched her. Before he realized what he was doing, he walked up and wrapped her in his arms.
 
Cloe felt Joshua's arms around her, and without thinking, she wrapped her own around him. Feeling his warmth, she felt she was her younger self again. But as she came to terms with the situation, she felt more alone now, realising how much she had missed him. Sinking her face into his shirt, she cried harder than ever, her sobs muffled.
After the moment wore on, she pulled her head up, her eyes still streaming. She knew it had to be done, whether Joshua was ready for it or not; it didn't matter.
"Josh... I have to tell you something..." Cloe started, but then paused, still pondering her thoughts. Then she continued, knowing it was for the best, "... w-we have a son."
 
As Cloe sunk her face into him, Joshua held her tight. He had missed her, despite everything that happened, and everything he had done. He knew she had no idea what kind of a man he had become these last years without her. She started to pull away from him, and she spoke words that he had never expected to hear.

"What?" Joshua dropped his arms from her and looked her deeply in the eyes. His voice began to waiver just a bit. "Wha-What? Wait a minute. How? A son?" He was shocked. He had no idea how this had escaped his knowledge. He stood there stunned, not sure what to do next.
 
"Yes... A son," Cloe responded. She wasn't sure what to expect from Joshua next. She dried her tears on her sleeve, then looked up at him. Under the street lamp, she could finally make out Joshua's appearance. He looked older, and he seemed to have conformed a miserable look since the last time she'd seen him. As though he were someone who'd been living in a prison cell for years.
Shaking off the thought, Cloe averted her gaze down to her feet. She had stopped crying now, but her face was as pale as ever and entirely blank. She waited for Joshua to speak, to say anything so that she would not have o endure the regret of having told him the painful truth that he had a child, somewhere, who knew nothing about him in return.
But the silence wore on too long for Cloe, so she broke it, not knowing what else she could do. "His name's Blake, and he'll be twelve soon... He doesn't about you though. I'm afraid, up until now, I haven't told anyone about you..." she said, feeling ashamed of herself for her lack of courage.
 
Joshua stood there and looked at her. He had no idea what to say. He was stunned. Nothing could have prepared him for the fact that he had a son, let alone one that was almost 12. "I have a son?" he repeated as he ran his hand through his hair. His face turned stoic as the other information Cloe gave him sank in. "Why is it that he has no knowledge of me? He never asked why his father was not there?"
 
Cloe let Joshua's question sink in before she answered. She wasn't prepared to tell him that she had married another man, and that this man played the father role to his son.
"I... married another man just before Blake was born," Cloe said finally. She could not bear to look at him as she spoke. "Amycus and I agreed that it would be better for Blake if he didn't know about you. I could never have told him, with you gone and all. I never expected to run into you again after all this time!"
 
Joshua let the statements wash over him. His face remained emotionless and calm, not wanting to show the anger he felt inside. Yes, he had left so many years ago, but it was not an unusual occurrence for him to dissappear for an unspecified time. He was still furious over her leaving and not even giving him any indication of where she went. He could not believe that she would go and marry some guy just so that his son would not grow up without a father. He was his father and should have been told of his existence so he could be there for his son.
"Cloe, you could have told me you were pregnant. Or at least left word where you were going. Did you think you were doing me a favor or something, leaving like that? Did you think I would not want to be a father to our child?" His voice was cold and stony, but his decibel was rising as he spoke. He was furious and his demeanor was starting to show it. "To think while I was gone on my assignment, I had taken the time to look for a ring for you. Glad I found out now that you were the kind of woman who would jump at the first chance to move on to something better. What kind of wife would you have been?"
 
His last words hit her like stones being cast at a sinner, leaving her bruised, battered and ashamed. Her head swarmed with emotions her brain was finding hard to process. She knew naught of their unborn child at the time until it had been almost a month after Joshua's departure. By what means could she have told him?
Cloe had waited for him in their old aparment, and nearly three months had past before she finally gave up waiting. She was sorry that she had lost hope in him, but she couldn't see how she could not have done so either way. She was alone, with child, and more than depressed.
Had she thought Josua would not want to be a father to their child? She could not lie. She had believed that a man who could leave his partner without any explanation for the sudden departure, was surely a man who would not be ready for a child in his life.
But had she been mistaken? Had he really searched for her? Had he cared enough to be this angry at her for leaving him with their child? And, had he really looked for a ring for her? She began to doubt her reasons for doing the things she had done. But somewhere, somehow, she felt she had done the right thing.
"No, let me first ask you a question," Cloe said, her voice hallow with contempt. "What assignment was more important than the woman you had loved enough to want to marry?"
 
Joshua debated on exactly what to tell her of his assignment. He had been assigned to track a wizard who was an opposition to the goals that his boss had, and to kill him. It took much longer that he had ever expected, but he was successful in the end. He was unable to alert Cloe to where he was in case that he would blow his cover. He had always been a part of the DE while he was with Cloe, but did not advertise that fact to her. He always had a suspicion that she knew. He decided that what his exact assignment was really did not need to be revealed.

He lifted his right arm and ran his hand through his hair, the sleeve of his robe slipping to his elbow. There was just enough light to reveal the mark that was on the inside of his arm. He spoke, keeping his voice back in control. "I cannot tell you what I was doing, just that I had to leave quickly and stay under cover until it was complete. It took longer than expected." He put his arm down. "Where is my son? Is he in school?"
 
As Joshua lifted his left arm, Cloe spotted the Dark Mark which had been branded to his forearm. She frowned at him with a disaproving glare, but was not surprised by it, nor caught off guard. She had seen the mark before, although she had never mentioned anything to Joshua about it. She figured if he wanted her to know, he would have told her himself.
But at that moment, Cloe's patience had withered and died, leaving her angry. This man whom she had loved dearly and had thought to share her world with, was indeed the very man her mother had warned her about.
Cloe's father Rabastan, had chosen the path which she could see Joshua was heading for. Rabastan had run out on his wife and children in his own foolishness to become part of the notorious Death Eaters for which he had gotten himself thrown in Azkaban for life and only escaped because the Dementors had turned against the Ministry, at the time. Cloe would not stand by and let yet another man ruin her son's life, just the way her own father had ruined her's.
"My son, is where he should be," she corrected him.
 
Joshua narrowed his eyes at Cloe. "So you tell me that we have a son, but then he is your son when I ask about him. Make up your mind, Cloe. Why did you tell me about him if you don't want me to ask about him?"
 
Cloe stared at him wide-eyed, not remotely appreciating his demand of her. "I..." she began to explain, but having nothing to say in retort, she faltered.
Why indeed had she told Joshua about her, so called, son? Had she really let herself believe that Joshua was the same man whom she had loved? Or possibly that he was now a better man?
Cloe sighed, shifting her gaze from Joshua. It was clear that he was no longer that same man, nor by any means better. Of course, he could have always been this way without her realising so, but she was confused now.
Shaking her head slightly, she placed a hand on her hip. Pondering the rash decisions which she had made up to this point, Cloe came to a conclusion that she should never have trusted a man deemed worthy enough for Death Eaters, to accept the great responsibility of fathering a child, as something far greater than any thoughts or virtual schemes of using the Dark Arts purely for personal gain.
Choosing her words carefully now, she continued where she had fallen off track. "Honestly, I guess I would have hoped you would want to father... our child. But seeing as you seem preoccupied in your own affairs, such a role is out of your league. I cannot pretend that he is not your son. I simply cannot let you walk into his life and later leave him in a hell hole like the last man did. You are, after all, a Death Eater as you so kindly reminded me just then, and yes I have always known. So introducing you to Blake would only make things worse than they already are..."
She took this pause to gather her breath and composure. There was already a lot at stake, including her own relationship with Blake, which was seemingly more fragile than ever, if anything at all.
 
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