Off The Map

[Zander Ellison]

There were certainly things in life that were a certainty, one was supposed to go to school, get married, have kids and have a good job. Zander's life had not at all be in that order, he had dropped out of school when he was sixteen, become a parent to his family then, gotten the only job he could've. He hadn't had any of his own children, though Abby had been his child, and he had raised her as his own. Now, he was in his thirties, he had only just gotten married, and he didn't have a job anymore. He was finally doing what he actually wanted, not what was expected of him, his heart held many regrets but leaving was not one of them, he had Sanctuari at his side, his beautiful wife, and he for the first time in almost twenty years did not wake up with a heavy heart, with a frown or in tears. He woke up thankful and glad. The creeping sadness remained, it gave him days where nothing seemed to be right, where it took all of the strength he had to face the world, but the medication he took, the support of his wife were enough to get him through.

His shoulder felt light, his tears dried and he no longer felt the crushing weight of what it meant to be alive. The man was awake a little before Sanctuari, they had camped at a beautiful riverside, the sun was high in the sky, a blanket of warmth hanging with them. He had no real idea where they were currently, all of the walking of the previous day had been a blur, his heart had felt heavier and he had just pushed forward and forward. Of course he would let her rest a little longer. There was an oddness currently with Sanctuari, he could tell that she wasn't her usual self, that something occupied her mind. He worried a little but knowing her, and all the time he had spent with her, he believe that she would tell him what was wrong. He sat at the waters edge, with his feet submerged in the cool water, just enjoying the sights and sounds of where they were. He slept better in the wilderness with her than he had ever slept in New Zealand. It was a good morning, he could feel that it would be a good day, and he was so thankful for Sanctuari and all that she had done for him these last few months
​

 

[Sanctuari Ellison]

January 2044
Had Sanctuari ever thought past her teen years shed run off and live in the wilderness with someone her parents had only barely met? Of course not. Sanctuari hadn't imagined finding love again after losing her, but here she was, laying in a tent in the beauty of a country shed never dreamed to visit. The brunette rolled over gently and moved to snuggle up to Zander, but it seemed her husband - she loved calling him that - had already gotten up and moved around. The brunette woman had only moved a few more inches when it hit her what had happened last night and what she'd decided to do that made her so tired. But where had she left it? Sanctuari was always forgetting something, and she glanced around the tent for the smallest of her bag which contained her hygiene products. She'd left her item to sit overnight, hoping that would be the most accurate way to do things.

Sanctuari dug through it until she located what she was looking for. The pregnancy test. In a million years Sanctuari could not have prepared herself for the lines on that test to say positive. She sat in the tent for a moment in silence before deciding to man up and tell him right away. Though fear bubbled in her - he'd lost Abby how would he react to having one of his own. Would he leave her for fear of losing them? Sanctuari reached around for some papers, something to wrap it up in before throwing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt on and heading outside. It took only a moment to find Zander and soon Sanctuari was sat beside him by the water. "Good morning..." She stated, nervousness conveyed in her shaking tone. She thrust the package over to him, waiting to see what he was going to do or say.

 

[Zander Ellison]

The man looked towards where Sanctuari was now emerging from and smiled at her, she held something in her hands and that something was handed to him. He looked at the paper with confusion, glancing between her and it, looking in her face for some indication of what was in it, because he could feel something in it. "What is it?" He asked her, but instead of pondering further, he unwrapped the paper and stared down at what was clearly a pregnancy test. Zander had rediscovered in being with her the joys of just being with someone. It had seemed silly to use protection after they were married, he hadn't been with anyone for years, only when he'd first been caretaker of his siblings had he still sought out elements of a normal life. Now, it seemed like perhaps they should have. She was pregnant. Sanctuari was pregnant. Zander had spent so much of his life caring for children, raising them and being defined as their care giver, putting everything on hold for them, with no second thought or regrets. He picked up the stick and looked at her, his eyes lingering on her stomach for a brief moment, "Pregnant? Are you sure?" he tentatively asked, he could feel the slow weight of his old life beginning to push down on his shoulders, he could only remember the sleepless nights, the hardship at losing his parents, the siblings he had lost and finally Abby. In all of that, he knew he would never exchange the feeling of love he had gotten from Abby, watching her smile and grow.

Zander had not been in a good place when he had raised Abby, he knew now that his depression, the deep depression he had suffered during that time had spilled over to her. She had been excitable and beautiful, but she had been quiet, solemn, and hadn't really gotten a chance at a loving environment where the parent wasn't a wreck every day. He was happier now than he had been in years, he woke up most mornings with a sense of love in his heart, he woke up to a woman who loved him. His gaze looked away from her, just out to the water, he was in the best position he'd ever been. The man let out a long sigh, a smile forming on his lips, "What do you think we should do? Do we go home, or stay on the road?" he asked her, finally looking at her with the smallest of smiles on his face. He in that moment, so scared of what could happen, only thought of Abby, of how despite it all, he was happy to have gotten the chance to know her, to see her smile for ten years, to watch her grow. There was no guarantee this baby would fair any better in the world. But, he was no longer alone, he was no longer in the pits of his own mind. Zander didn't want to dictate to her what she should do, he would respect her decision. Zander reached out and took her hand, giving it a light squeeze, the smile finally gracing his lips, he knew most husbands would dance for joy at the prospect of having a child, but instead, all Zander could manage was a smile, look at her face and feel the weight once more ease off, "If you want this, I want it too," Zander told her sincerely.
​

 

[Sanctuari Ellison]

There was a moment in her handing the test to Zander that reminded her of her acceptance into Hogwarts New Zealand, and how her mom had so tentatively handed her the letter to open when she transferred out of homeschooling. Every moment of insecurity was wrapped into Zander's reaction, and Sanctuari was ready for whatever it may have been. She'd already decided she was going to keep the baby, there was no way she couldn't. The adoptive young girl was so certain that she wanted a child. When her first husband died she never thought it would happen - after all finding love in a sea of faces that didn't compare wasn't quite what she wanted to try and do. Then she met Zander by accident and with Abby that family was enough - now at 31 years old the Hufflepuff Alumni was ready for the next step - she was ready to be with Zander and start a family. If he too was willing.

Ri had been holding her breath and she rarely noticed until he answered and all at once she let it out - not shy about showing that she'd been frightened. After all, fear was what created bravery was it not? The brunette listened to his question and was embarrassed to admit that she had not considered whether they should go on the road or if they should settle down. Until the child was older would settling down really effect them? "Travelling with you has reminded me that there is more out there in the world than a stained glass window and the sorry feelings of a previous life. Before i met you the sun only shined past me not on me, and I was so alone. Whatever we choose to do as long as I have you i won't feel that way. And neither will this thing." She said, placing a hand in his and one on her stomach where the half grain of rice was growing. "Zander, i want everything with you." She answered before kissing him deeply, hoping he knew just how much she truly loved him.

 

[Zander Ellison]

There were many things running through his head, so much that he was trying to juggle, and for the first time in a while, that sense of being overwhelmed threatened to come crashing down upon him, he was trying his best to remind himself, this was different, this was Sanctuari, he was in a stable and committed to her. They were married, they were together, this was something that could happen. He couldn't help but think that added to that they were both in a position that they could be comfortable enough to have this baby, but he was still worried, concerned, frightened. However, the prospect of travelling with a baby, of letting a child grow up in the world was something that filled his mind. Sure he'd probably ensure that the child loved travelling, but int he last few months travelling had been the greatest thing in his life, he had never smiled so much, seen so much of the world, experienced different things that he knew it wouldn't be a bad place to be. They could raise the child on the road with them, it would take them changing certain things, but they had magic, the world was at it's feet for them.

She wanted everything with him, and he wanted to give her to world. His hand rest where she placed it, his lips soft from her kiss and he couldn't help the smile that suddenly began gracing his features, "I don't want to stop travelling, so I guess we need to get a slightly bigger tent," the man said, looking back at the tent and then at her. He knew this wouldn't be easy, having a child with them constantly with little reprieve would be hard, but after his experience with Abby, he wanted to raise a child that was always so filled with love, attention and the world that he would do it. he didn't want to lose himself in another child, but he would have Sanctuari by his side, and he would manage it. They would be happy, "We can do this," he said definitively, "We can manage," Zander was saying them in part for her, but also largely for himself. "Our little bundle of joy, they will be the most travelled baby ever, but they will be our baby," Zander was sure of himself by the time he finished speaking, they could do this, they could manage.
​