Closed Of Histories and Cakes

[Keye Hayes]

Keye Brianne Hayes was quite unsure as to what finalized her decision to come back to New Zealand. It had been something she had pondered on over the last two years, and well, she supposed that having a friend - her only friend really, relatively nearby helped in pushing that decision. It also helped that setting up a business had been relatively easy and the restaurant was had been open for the last two months. It wasn't her dream come true, or anywhere close to it really, but it would have to do. Being a healer had been her plan after graduation, her apprenticeship however had been denied after she had gotten pregnant. It had been a long time ago, and Keye had learned to move past all that, otherwise she would not have been able to stand on her own two feet and raise her child on her own. Her child that was currently strolling beside her, excitedly looking over at the neighborhood that they were residing. Joshua Tobiah Hayes was currently six years old and though he had mostly taken after her in appearance, he also showed some aspects of his father. Josh was very active and had admittedly caused her a number of heart attacks, but he was her world and she did not regret even for one second her decision all those years ago.​

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The mother and son pair had spent the day getting acquainted - or at least in Keye's case, getting reacquainted with the neighborhood. So much has changed and so little, but that didn't really matter. All that did was that her son would get acclimated to the place, and seeing him run around excitedly in the park and playing with other kids cemented that this was a good idea. Besides, it was way more peaceful compared to the busy city that they lived in, and once the restaurant was well underway, it would be a lot more peaceful as well in comparison to the bar that she had worked at for more than 5 years. Her musings were cut short though when Josh had approached her and claimed that he was hungry and thirsty, Keye nodded, remembering that there was a cafe just around the corner that she used to frequent. She banished the thought that she used to go there with someone. The pair of them headed to the cafe without preamble, the six-year-old chattering about the games he had played with other children and when they entered the cafe, he continued to talk nearly without pause about what he would like to eat and drink at the cafe and Keye smiled through it all. It was a good day.​

 

[Isaiah Jeffreys]

Isaiah had thought a lot in the recent weeks about the past. If only because soon, it would mark almost as long that he’d been out of school as he had been in school. It was a lot of old feelings which as always tended to just go back to Keye, and the choice he had made with her. He had loved her, had been so wholeheartedly in love with her, but it had fallen apart, it had collapsed because of the choice he had made, the thing he had asked her to do. Isaiah had just continued on with his life, he had gotten a job, worked hard to achieve highly in it, lived in a respectable, well sized home. Had hobbies and friends. He was beginning to want to settle down, so he’d largely stopped drinking as much or spending time just looking for someone to sleep with. He certainly hadn’t had any other conversations like he’d had with her, bbut he hadn’t loved any of them, they were about convenience and desire, nothing about love or settling down for a family. The man had found himself going to a few old haunts, it just happened that his place wasn’t far from much of it, he didn’t head in that direction often, which was why he wasn’t always there. But, it was close. ​

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Isaiah had a rare day off, and had woken up so early that staying in bed had been pointless. The man had gotten dressed, tidied up his place, put things together for the next week and then when discovering that he was fresh out of coffee, went out to an old local coffee shop. He was distracted as he entered the store, there was a young child a few people ahead of him in the queue who was chatting loudly, he seemed almost familiar to him, and it was when he glanced at the woman with the little boy that he froze. Isaiah had regretted his decision somewhat, he had regretted the words he’d said at the time, so blinded by his own desires and dreams. He waited, his heart raced so loudly in his chest, it took him three attempts to get his order out and then coffee in hand he looked back to the pair, her back had been towards him the whole time. ”Keye?” he spoke softly as if worried he was dreaming it all up that it wasn’t real, that speaking too loudly would scare it off. He had stepped towards them, still keeping a fair distance, and keeping his gaze firmly on her and not the boy who accompanied her. ​

 

[Ai Nightray]

-it switched accounts I'm so sorry- ​

 

[Keye Hayes]

Keye had been listening to every word that her son chattered. While it was true that she hated loud noises and tended to tune them out, she had gotten accustomed to it in her old workplace. That and she would never not listen to Joshua. Could never bring herself to ignore him even if she tried. And so he chattered on, while she listened and smiled and encouraged. She ordered cake and juice for Josh at his request and tea for herself. They had been waiting patiently for their order - or at least Keye was, while the young boy jumped in excitement and continued to talk about how he was excited to play again tomorrow, when she heard someone call her name, catching the pair's attention. Keye turned to look behind her and tried to keep the surprise from her face at the owner of the voice. Someone that Keye knew all too well and at the same time didn't know at all. Isaiah Jeffreys. Joshua's father.​

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Keye tried to keep the surprise from her face at the encounter. She had known that this was a possibility when she had decided that she and Josh were to move here, or in her case, move back. She just didn't expect it to be this early. Her eyes narrowed ever so slightly, she didn't want an encounter with him, would avoid it if possible. He was a vivid reminder of the past, of histories and forgotten ambitions and discarded plans and broken dreams. A reminder much more than Josh could ever be. She loved him, maybe some part of her still did - one that she didn't care enough to acknowledge lest she linger in the past once more. Their order being called snapped Keye out of her thoughts and she turned to her son who was scrutinizing the man before them. "Why don't you go ahead and take a seat and eat your cake, hmm?" she suggested and he grinned and headed off with the server to a vacant table in the cafe. "Isaiah," she turned her attention back to man, addressing him coldly. There would be no warmth or welcome for him. Not even close. But she would see what he wanted enough to approach her when they had no contact after almost seven years.​

 

[Isaiah Jeffreys]

Isaiah didn’t want to tear his eyes away from her, a little terrified that he would look towards the boy and see exactly what he was sure he would see in him. The man had always wondered what had happened, had regretted his decision all those years ago. He had managed fine and achieved his dream which he might’ve also managed if he’d stuck with Keye. But for all he knew and for all his body was telling him, this was not what he thought it was. The man’s expression searched Keye’s her features familiar to him, the shape of her lips, her eyes, the way her hair sat, familiar. He could see how she’d changed and aged, but to him he still largely saw the girl he’d always known. The memories of their time in the prefects common room, of celebrations...of graduation. A life he’d left behind as he focused himself forward. The cold tone which keye addresses him which was still a nicer tone than he might expected. He hadn’t thought she would be at all nice to him, half expected another slap to match when they’d last seen each other. But it didn’t come. He was quite unsure of what to say to her. What he should ask, if he should ask. ​

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Isaiah shifted on the balls of his feet, but while he fidgeted in other manners he didn’t take his gaze off hers. ”Hey, been a while,” he spoke, unable to hide the nervousness in his voice. He didn’t know what to say, how to say anything. ”How’ve you been?” it felt wrong to just outright ask about the boy about whatever decisions she had made when he’d walked out. He stole a quick glance at the boy, thinking of himself at that age, his family had been coming to pieces when his mother had died, he’d had to be responsible even if all he’d really wanted was to play. Isaiah looked back at Keye, ”Is he...ours?” the man managed to say, speaking more quietly as if afraid the boy would hear him. If it was, He couldn’t understand why Keye had never reached out, but then, neither had he and he had been pretty cruel when they’d last spoke, but being seventeen and right out of school he had made a rash decision. One he could never take back. A sorry didn’t even seem like it would mean much here, a sorry wouldn’t undo all that had happened or not happened.​

 

[Keye Hayes]

Keye kept her eyes on the man in front of her, cataloging every action he took. The familiarity was painful but there. He had aged, but then again, so had she, time tended to do that to people and the two of them had spent years apart before this. Years of not seeing or hearing from each other. So yes, he was familiar. But he was also a stranger. Had been since their last conversation. Words were said, she was pretty sure that she had slapped him at some point, and she cried. She cried a lot, she could recall. Cried until she had no tears left to shed for him. And then she moved on. Not completely, she did not think she ever could, but she moved on as best she could for her son. Seeing him was like getting a slap of various things. Memories were the first. They had so much. He had been her friend. The closest one she had had if not the only. He had been her only relationship as well. He had been such a large part of her life. And then he was not. She had never trusted people the same way after him. She did not have the heart to. Or the willingness. And though she had a friend now, even he was kept at arm's length. Keye knew that she had never been the same after that last conversation with Isaiah.​

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Keye's eyes narrowed at the man's attempt at small talk. Was he serious? They were not friends. Not even acquaintances. They were two people who shared history and that was it. She did not dare answer his attempts at small talk. It was not worth it. They had not talked in the last almost seven years. There was no reason for them to engage in idle conversation now. And if that had been his only reason for approaching her, then she might as well just walk away. Her time was just being wasted. She was halted though by his question. "Is he...ours?" he dared to asked and she glared. How dare he? was all she could think. "He... is mine," she spat with all the venom that she could muster poured into her tone. She would have slapped him for his presumptuousness, but she did not want to cause a scene. Not when Joshua was there, especially not when he had such a good day. But she'd be d**ned if she just let him think that just because he was the biological father that Joshua is his. Because he had never been there. And even to this day, it still brings a pang to her heart, small but still there, the thought that Isaiah didn't want him then. Didn't want them. Joshua was hers and hers alone, selfish though it may be.​

 

[Isaiah Jeffreys]

Isaiah couldn’t deny that he wasn’t surprised by her reaction to what he said. He hadn’t been a part of this child’s life at all, he hadn’t wanted to be a part of the child’s life when first confronted with a sudden life changing decision to make. But, Keye’s admission, her tone, told him all he needed to. The boy was biologically his. He raised his hands slightly, and couldn’t help but take the small step back from her, ”I’m sorry,” he immediately said. The man couldn’t help it, she was right, he had been wrong to say such a thing, but he’d only really been looking to be sure his head wasn’t making something up that just wasn’t true. Isaiah looked towards the boy, he definitely looked like Keye, but from even where he stood he could see some of himself in it. Some of those family traits he’d come to be familiar with in even his own brothers. Isaiah sighed heavily, knowing the boy was real felt worse, would it had just been better if Isaiah had lived in ignorance all his life about the boy’s existence, knowing about i t and knowing he had likely ruined his chances of Keye ever allowing him closer than this were slim. ​

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Isaiah felt a fond expression cross his features as he thought of seeing the boy more often, but after all he’d done to Keye, there wasn’t the space for him and his feelings. But part of him wondered if crossing them off now again would only make things worse, if trying now might make up for past mistakes, if she might forgive him. ”Whats his name?” he asked looking back at her, his stance guarded once more, but a keenness in his eyes to know anything about him. If she would never allow him in the boys life then it might to know who the boy was. He didn’t want to announce that he wanted to be in the boys life, that was unfair of him. ”I’m sorry Keye, does it help at all, if I say that there wasn’t a day when I didn’t think about you and what had happened?” which was the truth and he hoped she’d be able to read that in his tone, she’d always been good at getting him, maybe there was still a little of that between them. ​

 

[Keye Hayes]

Keye kept her gaze on the man steady, the fire in her rescinding just a little bit at his placating gesture. She had a fiery temper beneath her silent exterior that had not abated in the years. She had mellowed, but perhaps it was because she had to, and she had not interacted with people much outside of work. Not many knew about her temper though, and Isaiah was one of the few that did. The woman sighed, barely inaudible. She was exhausted. Just that bit of anger had already drained her, the continuous onslaught of memories associated with the former Ravenclaw still draining her. Logically, she knew that Isaiah had just about as much rights as she did when it came to Joshua. Her son was also already at the age where he was beginning to question why he only had one parent while the rest of his peers had two. It was a constant conflict within her on what to tell him and now here was the father and she was already acting selfishly. She thought she had grown more than this, but the amount of emotions still tied to Isaiah was unexpected and her attempt at indifference quickly escalated to hostility. The woman looked on at her son, happily eating his cake a few tables away from where she and Isaiah stood.​

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Her attention was quickly on the man once more when he asked for her son's - a niggling voice in her head continued to whisper that Joshua was theirs - name. And then he apologized once more and the conflict bloomed in her once more. She had spent the last years hating Isaiah - or at least trying to - and trying to move on from him. Work and Joshua had been a constant distraction but she found that it was hard to be distracted when he was just right there being as honest and sincere with her as he had been. "Joshua," Keye said softly, but loud enough for Isaiah to hear. She knew that she would probably regret this, but for her son, she'd take that chance. "If you want to talk, we'll talk outside," she said as she made her way to the door, seeing as Joshua was still busy with his cake and juice anyway. She didn't look back to see if Isaiah would follow, if he wanted to talk, then he would follow and they will talk but not where Joshua could possibly hear them. And not where she could possibly cause a scene. If he didn't follow then she would just assume that they were done. Once outside, the woman then settled herself on an empty seat, making sure that she could see Joshua through the cafe window. ​

 

[Isaiah Jeffreys]

Isaiah found himself smiling when she gave him the boy’s name, ”Joshua,” he repeated quietly, that was a name he’d talked about liking at some point, in one of their conversations all of those years before, in the conversations they’d had when no one else was around. He didn’t want to say it too loudly in case the young child heard, though from the small glances at him the boy was seemingly quite content and oblivious to what was going on in front of him, which Isaiah could admit he was quite happy to. He didn’t want it to be too intense too early on and scare the boy away. If he was at all to be in Keye’s and Josh’s life he needed to be careful, he couldn’t ruin it. He felt a little relieved when Keye seemed to relent and just walked outside. He followed her out, glancing towards the boy and sitting down at the empty table outside the window where they could both still see Josh. He sipped his coffee and ignored how like the last conversation this was.​

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Isaiah gave her a little smile, but he knew it probably wouldn’t help him much. He took a sip of his coffee unsure of where to start, of what to say to her, ”What happened?” he asked, watching her with a careful expression, his words relatively tentative, just hoping to be able to understand what had happened in all of the time he missed, ”I thought about reaching out to you after our last conversation, but I didn’t think you’d respond,” He had thought about reaching out to see if she’d had it, him, Joshua. He knew that if she’d reached out to say she’d had him, then Isaiah knew he’d have dropped everything for her, for them. It was too late now, and it wasn’t on Keye for not having reached out, it was all on him. He had been the one to say the horrible things, she was just one caught in the terrible situation. She was the one who had the baby, who’d raised him. He hoped she had had family around to support her.​

 

[Keye Hayes]

Keye remained stoic as she sat across from Isaiah, her eyes wandering towards where she could see Joshua from the cafe window. She had been preparing herself for this for the last few months, ever since she had decided to move back to New Zealand, but no amount of psyching herself up could have gotten her ready for this meeting. Especially since it had happened so soon after they had moved. The woman refrained from reacting at Isaiah's obvious happiness at Joshua's name. Loathe as she was to admit it, Joshua was a piece of Isaiah - of their relationship and friendship that she treasured greatly. It was the little things that mattered, so, she remembered their little conversations. It was one of those late night talks that they had back when they were prefects patrolling the halls. It was a passing remark. But after she and Isaiah had broken up, it was those small moments that mattered the most to her. And so she named her son - their son - Joshua. Joshua Tobiah Hayes.​

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The woman remained silent for a long while as she weighed the gravity of her answers. What happened? It was such a heavy question that she wasn't sure how to answer. So much had happened in the time they had spent apart. Seven years almost. She felt a small pang in her chest at the admission that he thought about reaching out. Not good enough. It was a step, but it wasn't good enough. Though she belatedly admitted to herself that she was also at fault, having decided to leave the country before she had even given birth to Joshua. "I moved to Vancouver before Joshua was born," she admitted. It hadn't been an easy decision to make but her dad and Celeste had been raising a baby then, and though she knew that her father would have helped her had she asked, she had made the decision to move and get away. It had been hard raising a child in another country, a whole different culture. But they had gotten through. "I worked at a wizarding bar during the night and took care of Joshua when he's not in daycare. We arrived weeks ago after I decided that it was best to move back here," she told him calmly and took a sip of her tea. So much has happened that she didn't even know what to tell him. Didn't know what she was willing to tell him. "I don't know if I would have responded or not, I don't plan to dwell on it either because it didn't happen." And she wouldn't have reached out to him either. She didn't see the point of it, seeing as he had all but thrown them away after their last conversation. She had had no reason to think that he had changed his mind, or that he would ever.​

 

[Isaiah Jeffreys]

Isaiah listened keeping his gaze upon her, attempting to show her that he was interested and keen in what she had to say. He wanted nothing more than to hear about how things had happened, how things had been to her. He thought it couldn’t have been easy for her to manage all of that, his own sleepless nights when working long hours at the beginning of his job paled in comparison to the work and the mothering she would’ve been doing for their child. He let himself at least look shameful for the role he had not play for all those years. Even if like she said she wouldn’t have responded to him had he reached out. If he hadn’t run into her, if she hadn’t moved back, it would be unlikely that he’d ever known about what had happened to her and Joshua. He took a sip of his coffee, if only to give himself a bit of a break from the conversation, to focus on drinking it rather than focusing on her, on his actions and inactions. He put the cup back down and just give a short quick nod, ”I understand, we ended on terrible terms,” he said plainly. He couldn’t even explain his actions, there was no real justification for what had happened, even if he could think of one. It wasn’t far to rehash what had happened, especially when like she said, it didn’t matter, it didn’t happen. He couldn’t change what had happened. ​

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Isaiah looked at her, ”What’s he like?” Isaiah found himself asking, he wanted to know about the boy, about his son, he wanted to be in the boys life, but he knew that with how he’d acted, with everything that had happened, that it might just be something he didn’t get, so perhaps if he knew about him that would be enough. Isaiah wanted to offer money, to say that he would happily help them financially if necessary, but he knew he was skirting the line with her. He needed to just be careful, he couldn’t just ask for things or declare that he would now help in some ways. It would be up to Keye how much he could do to help, how much he might be in the boy’s life. ”I’d like to be in his life Keye, I know that if things had been different I would’ve tried to be there earlier but I can’t change the past. I’d like to now, if you’ll let me at what ever pace you'd prefer,” he spoke, ”But, Keye, I will understand if you don’t want me to,” Isaiah finished.​

 

[Keye Hayes]

Keye continued to look at the man before her as she had spoken. Every moment that passed between them, she questioned her sanity as to why she was even conversing with him. Why she even bothered. Why they had not just walked away. One look at her son though and she knew why. Joshua was already at the age where he would ask questions about why he only had one parent. Keye did not have the heart to tell him then that his father did not want them. And now, here was the said father. She was not even close to being sure about introducing the two though. Not when Isaiah could easily walk out of Joshua's life just as easily as he had met them once more. She almost snorted though at his short description of their parting. That was an understatement. Keye had little to no intention of seeing Isaiah again after that fiasco. She was caught off guard though when he had asked about Joshua. If she did not know that he was interested in her son before, then she definitely knew now. The woman was not sure at all what to tell him though and she found herself hesitating about what to tell him. Hesitating about whether to tell him anything at all really. He's just like you, would have been a good description had Keye been 100% willing to share. "Energetic. Curious. Kind," she said as she looked at the little boy inside the cafe. Joshua may have looked like her, but he was definitely his father's son.​

With the way the whole conversation was going, Keye could not exactly deny that she had been somewhat expecting this from Isaiah. She doubted that he would have approached them at all if he had no intentions whatsoever. Still, hearing it directly from him caused her gaze to narrow and harden. Talking with him now was one thing, but letting him into their lives - into Josh's life - was a whole other matter entirely. "Why?" she asked. It was a heavy question, she knew. But there were so many things that she didn't understand about him then and now. He was a familiar stranger. A contradiction. "Why would you like to be in his life?" she decided to elaborate. To question the man that had approached them and now decided that he wanted to be part of Josh's life. It was a struggle to keep her emotions in check with the way the conversation was now going. "Why did you change your mind?" So many questions. It confounded her that he had changed his mind when he had been adamant before everything. Perhaps it was the time apart, but Keye was no longer sure if she knew this man before her. "Why should I let you?" Keye could answer that herself really. Joshua deserved a father. It was one of the reasons she hadn't walked out then and there. But Joshua also deserved a father who would not decide to suddenly leave them when things get inconvenient. and frankly, Keye did not trust Isaiah. Did not trust anyone really. Had not come close to trusting anyone since Isaiah. She didn't think she had it in her to trust again really. Especially the person who had disintegrated her trust in the first place. "Give me one good reason why I should trust you with my son."​

 

[Isaiah Jeffreys]

Isaiah nodded as she told him what he was like, almost a little surprised when she actually told what the boy was like. It sounded oddly like his brothers when they’d been young. Isaiah knew he’d missed a lot in young Josh’s life, he wouldn’t be able to make up those lost years, he would never be able to do anything that would make that have not happened, but he knew moving forward with this opportunity perhaps in front of him to at the very least ask, he couldn’t turn it down. He knew asking would illicit the reaction that it did. He watched as Keye seemed to process it, and was quick to ask why, he let her keep going for a few minutes before she’d asked, seemingly all the questions she wanted. It was all really asking the same thing but he could definitely understand her reaction. He could understand why she was so defensive about it and he would understand if no matter how he answered she still said no. He’d done the wrong thing, she was well within her right to completely reject him. She hadn’t needed him and certainly likely still didn’t. He wrapped his hands tightly around the coffee cup as he thought of his answer. As he thought of the best way to say what he wanted to. ​

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”Keye, I was wrong, all those years ago, I knew it the day after I said it,” he stopped himself, he’d been about to explain that he’d been a child who hadn’t been ready for it, she had likely felt the same but she’d done it anyway. ”You know I helped raise my brothers after my mom died and I think when you told me, I got scared. We were so young Keye, I didn’t have a job. I had no way to support you or him. I knew what it was like to not have the means to support kids,” keye had been the only person Isaiah had ever deeply told about the struggles he had growing up, the loss of his mother, his father’s mental absence for a few years. The struggle Isaiah had gone through to always ensure they were looked after, fed, when he’d been a child himself. He had worried so much during his first year of school over what would happen without him there. The fear of having that happen again, of not being ready, of finally having time to be himself had overwhelmed him. ”I want to be a part of his life, I can be there for him, help teach him quidditch, I know you can’t trust what I say, but Keye, I’ll do whatever you need me to, I’ll do whatever it takes in you eyes to worthy of spending time with him,” Isaiah knew it would take him actually doing things for her to know he was around, would stick around from now and always. ​

 

[Keye Hayes]

Keye sighed rather tiredly. There was so much to think about when it came to letting Isaiah into her son's life. She didn't trust him, and she didn't know if she ever could again. And here they were, discussing whether she would let him be in Joshua's life, to spend time with the little boy. It was a hard decision and something that Keye would rather not think about right now really. She needed time. A meeting with Isaiah was inevitable after having moved back, him wanting time with Joshua was not part of the equation she had been considering. And she definitely did not expect this to happen this early into their return. It was even more frustrating that she was even considering this. Had it been anyone that broke their trust, she would probably have left them already after the first few seconds of acknowledging their presence. But not Isaiah. He had always been different. Keye did not want to think on why he was always the exception. Some things were better left alone and never delved into.​

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The woman closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. It frustrated her to see that he was being sincere, that he was admitting that he was wrong. It was easier to hate him, to be mad at him when she thought of him differently. And she hated that she knew what he was talking about. She knew about his history and he was right, neither of them had the means to support Joshua then. But you made it work, a nasty, bitter voice whispered from within the recesses of her mind and she put a stop to it before it could take hold. Merlin, she really needed time. "Time. I need time," was all she could manage to sigh tiredly. "I need to think about this," she said as she made to stand and escape from all of this. Maybe just for a little while. She wanted to go home, have a glass of firewhiskey, and ignore all of this for a few hours. She stood and just in time too for the little boy that was her son had lost his patience with waiting inside and ran up to her, colliding with her legs as he hugged her, complaining loudly that she was taking so long with the man. The woman smiled slightly and ran her fingers through the little boy's hair. "Time to go home. Say bye-bye to ... Mum's friend," she hesitated for a little while, not sure how to address the man that had approached them. She was definitely sure though that should she decide to introduce Isaiah as the father it would not be a conversation happening outdoors. But she didn't want to think about that right now. She needed time.​