My World is as delicate as a snowglobe

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Trilby Kiedis

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OOC First Name
Lin
Wand
Holly/Ebony Wand 12 1/2" Essence of Griffin Feather
The snow had passed of course, so much had happened since the first drops had fallen but now Spring was well and truly rooted. Flowers were in full bloom and summer was practically a doorstep away. It seemed like another time altogether that herself and Sebastian had been secluded in the green house. Though the memories of their time since then were nice, warm fuzzy ones that day still burned her. She was not at all sure what had happened and how they had let things get so drastically far from her reach. In her mind she knew she had been convinced they would only end up heavy petting on the floor, almost certain in her mind that when Sebastian had asked her if she was sure and she had said yes, that she had been consenting to his touching her beneath her blouse and nothing more. The memory of the rest of that time was a blur now. None of it seemed real and yet it had to be. She cared for Sebastian and she knew he cared for her. She enjoyed their kisses and holding hands with him and yet she could not bring herself to commit to that act again.

Trilby walked through the cloister to the bridge that separated the main building from the quad, grateful that the day was nice. No heat in the sun but the brightness was still welcoming. She felt terrible that she was also grateful for being on her own now. Her thoughts were all a jumble and she was so confused by everything, so much so that even her studying was suffering. With a sigh she looked out upon the ravine below and wished she could revert time to a simpler moment in her life, when boys had never been a part. She didn't want to wish Sebastian away for he was her best friend but she seriously didn't know if what they had done had been a good thing or not. She shuddered then, looking down briefly at the short skirt and ti-shirt she had chosen to wear. Convinced for definite that she really must be deranged in some way to even consider wearing something so short. Her long slender legs revealed beneath were crossed at the ankle as she leaned once more on the balustrade of the bridge contemplating just where her life was taking her.
 
Although Xavier loved the cold winter weather and the sight of fresh snowflakes falling to the ground, he was was glad to see spring was arise so he could lose some of those layers he had to wear in order to keep warm from the persistent cold weather in France. Xavier had spent most of the day attempting to study and catch up with Vincent and his sister, but eventually he grew bored of bickering, studying, and moping struck teenagers and left them to go for a short walk to wherever his feet decided to take him that afternoon. As he walked closer to the the bridge that separated the main building from the quad he noticed the figure of someone he hadn't really reacted with in months, Trilby Kiedis. 'Do I dare even bother?' She looked a bit out it, even to the point where he was unsure if his antics would be amusing to him today, finally his heart overruled his common sense and he was soon making his way over to the Prefect.

"Well if it isn't little miss Prefect." He spoke loudly yet as charmingly as he usually would to any girl, boy did she look out of it today. Once he was next to her he stopped himself and looked down at her through soft icy blue eyes, even with winter gone it still seemed to live in through his eyes, was it just him for did everyone seem to have been bitten by the blue bug this month? "Boy you look....blue?" He didn't quite now how to word it, she seemed sad and thoughtful, but when he really ever seen her all happy and smiling? He had always had a small thing for this girl, but she didn't seem interested in him really, that and she was always with that Sebastian kid.
 
She watched as an eagle seemed to soar by swooping lower and lower into the ravine as if it had spied some food source. Trilby sighed running her hands through her long hair when she heard a voice she had not heard in a while. Of course she had seen him about the school but had made sure she had stayed well out of his way, another reason for her to contemplate. What possessed her to practically hide from Xavier whenever he was close by? She did not bother reacting to the title he gave her, her thoughts were too busy remembering with perfect clarity his lips on hers. She could still feel the bitter sweet sensation, her fingers reached up to trail gently across her lips and realizing what she was doing shook herself briefly. This was madness. Turning to look at him she expected his usual fast quips and nonchalance, his flirting and much too easy going manner but there seemed to be none of that and she was caught off guard.

Her eyes rested on his unable to look away as if drawn there by a magnet.
"Blue?" it was obviously the English phrase meant to describe her sad state. Was she so easy to read? "I am not blue Xavier" his name always sounded so light on her lips, so delicate like a sweet lullaby being sung in reverence of the moment.
"I am merely thinking" she turned once more to look out on the clouds that seemed to be hanging low then turning away from the view began to walk slowly away from the main school, stopping briefly she looked at him, "Will you walk with me?"

Trilby wasn't sure why she asked him too but he knew more about the whole relationship deal than anyone else she knew and though usually she would go to Sebastian with what was weighing her down, with this she could not and it tore at her. Her fingers fidgeted gently in front of her as she turned again to continue in the direction she had chosen.
 
When Trilby asked Xavier to walk with her he gave her an odd stare as he tried to make out if she was kidding or not for a moment, but from the looks of her she was far from kidding about her question. "I suppose." Was the only thing he said before he held his hand out in the direction he would rather go, if he headed back into the school he was sure to get stopped by someone and bothered, and it looked like the younger Prefect may actually need his help for something. Trilby had only said she was thinking, which he thought was complete utter bull. Xavier had lived with his father and brother long enough to learn that people often lied about what they were really feeling, and her eyes were filled with that blue look to them.

"What are you merely thinking about?" He air quoted the merely part because he figured it would take something pretty bad to make her seem so bummed out like she was. Everyone seemed to feel bummed out lately, mostly due to some love issue or another...it was a wonder that these people didn't try to avoid it more often if it hurt them so much. "Are you okay Trilby? He finally asked as he brought a hand up and sifted it through his lightly colored blonde locks. There had to be something wrong, she was never usually this kind to him, and he was very curious to see what had happened to cause such a change of attitude in the fifth year.
 
Her hands found themselves inside the small pockets of her mini-skirt, if she could keep her thoughts as well occupied she would be doing fine but they were literally all over the place. With heart beating wildly as if it would take off at any moment, Trilby tried to make sense of her actions but couldn't. Nothing about her behavior could be explained rationally, unless you merely stated she had behaved like a typical hormonal teenager but this thought upset her more than anything. She had never before behaved like a typical anything. There were so many things to consider in all of this, like the fact that besides herself and Sebastian doing what they did, they had also not protected themselves. A frown creased her brow and taking her hands out of her pockets she wrapped them around her waist hiding the ridiculous image on her ti-shirt from view. Her feet continued to walk her in the direction that Xavier had indicated, trying desperately now to formulate a sentence to say aloud.

"I .. yes.. No! Oh Xavier, I don't know. I do not know if I will ever be ... okay" she stopped walking and instantly buried her face in her hands, she should have spoken to Sebastian about all of this. It was just too much for her to bear alone, the worry the agony, the foolishness of their actions.
"I did something that I should not have done and now... now, I" she stopped again, how could she explain any of this to him of all people, she moved the hands slowly from her grief stricken face and looked up at him.
"I always thought I would be older, wiser, in love. I never thought it would be on a greenhouse floor, hurried and ... " she sobbed again and turned from him, walking away as her hands wrapped themselves about her once more. This was seriously too much and once again she found herself wishing she had a female friend to talk with.
 
Xavier froze and gave her a deep look that he rarely gave anyone, not even his pathetic excuse for a little brother got this look from him, and they hated one another with a burning passion. did Trilby just say to him..that she slept with someone in the greenhouse? "What?! You..slept with someone?" Was the only thing he could voice through his anger, hurt, and just all around confusion, on why she of all people would do something like that. Xavier followed after her angrily as he tried to make an attempt to get what happened, and why it happened. He was going to admit straight up that she was too young to begin with, second it was probably with some idiot that was going to ruin her or hurt her like many others have.

"With whom and why?" He asked as he stood in front of her, blue eyes burning down with hurt and anger, Xavier himself had done never things like that before so he knew he had to be careful what he yelled at her about. And if he had, he knew it wouldn't be somewhere so unromantic and rushed, it was supposed to be special...and Trilby made it seem like it was far from special for her.
 
She stopped walking as he almost roared at her, his face resembled nothing she had seen before. His evident anger confused her greatly, was it not bad enough that she was angry with herself without his adding to it? She began walking again but he caught up with her, standing in front of her as if to block her way. Demanding to know who and why she had done what she did. She was still attempting to answer those questions herself. Why he was behaving all indignant was beyond her but she was growing more and more upset now it.

"Does it matter?" she demanded her voice cracking as her own anger with herself tore through her. It hadn't been Sebastian's fault had it? She had said yes, that she wanted it with him; of course she also knew that she had not actually been agreeing to actually doing it either.
"It was my fault. It was... I thought it would be ... good to practice. To learn how to kiss properly..." the tears slowly poured down her face again as the pain of the experience echoed in her mind, "don't judge me. Stop judging me!"
She practically yelled at him now before pushing him aside and running. Trilby wasn't a very fast runner but the pressure she exerted on her legs seemed necessary, it took for a brief moment the pain pulsing through the rest of her. Every book she had read went on and on about doing it with someone special, well she had hadn't she? Sebastian was her best friend but how they had done it, why they had all baffled her. As she ran she wondered if everyone would know, was it now clear to read from her face what she had done? She wanted desperately to rewind time, return it to a simpler moment when she had just been Trilby.
 
Xavier shook his head and bolted off after her, being tall graced him with ability to run pretty fast when he will himself to, and that abled him to catch up with Trilby quickly and stop her form running further by grabbing her arm softly. "Okay, yes it does matter and I'm not judging you at all." He spoke with furrowed eyebrows and confused eyes, he was very curious to see who the guy was, was he popular like him or was he gross and seedy. Was this guy Trilby's type or something, so many questions that he wanted answers to, but would he get them was the real question here. "Just tell me, I promise I won't judge you." He held up his hands to the prefect, trying his best to calm her down and show that he was going to try his best to listen to her and see if he could help in any way possible.
 
She felt his hand on her arm and stopped abruptly. Her face tear streaked still managed to look so beautiful. Looking up at him slowly wondering why should it matter to him who she had been with? Her world was closing in on her and for some insane reason that alluded her, Xavier Snow the school flirt seemed her only life line to sanity. It was beyond her why her body chose to move to his, why her hands went about his neck and she lay her head on his shoulder as the sobs continued to fall but she found a comfort here that she never thought possible. She expected him to push her from him at any moment but as she spoke, not being able to see his face seemed the best solution. Trilby didn't think she could go through with telling him anything if she had to look into those eyes.

"My best friend Sebastian" her words at first had sounded muffled from sheltering on his chest, so she turned her head slightly and repeated herself for him, "I had.. had only ever kissed one boy and you... you kissed me and all I kept thinking about was how inexperienced I was compared to all the other girls you had been with."

She remembered the times she had watched from a far as he flirted with so many of the other girls even since he had kissed her, wishing she had not been so forgetful and wondering if she had more experience would he have liked her better.
"I thought that if I practiced with someone I knew and trusted then it wouldn't be so bad the next time anyone tried to kiss me" her words sounded so ridiculous now, so immature and childish to her ears. She couldn't believe them herself.
"We started feeling ... I don't know Xavier, I've never ... well, he asked me if I was sure and I said yes and we ended up... having... sex. I " she gripped his top then burying her face for a moment before saying the words, "I really hadn't thought that's where we had been going."
 
Xavier barely had time to react before Trilby had embraced him in a hug and began to weep on him, if it was one thing he hated more than anything, was when a pretty girl cried. His arms hesitantly wrapped around her back and he patted it softly, the poor girl was really upset about something and he was almost unsure if he wanted to know what it was. But he listened to what she had to say, every single heartbreaking word that she said, not only did it hit his pride to hear that she almost seemed to think he was shallow, but she had also slept with someone that Xavier not only preferred not to associate with, but someone that wasn't him. "Trilby sweetie, for starters I'm not only into experienced girls." He stated first, defending his own honor slightly. He could care less if the girl had experience or not, if he liked her or thought she was cute then he was going to flirt with her regardless of if she could kiss well. "To be honest, I've never slept with a girl either." He shrugged but continued to pat her back as he tried to calm her down, how all the girls got the assumption that he went around sleeping with woman all the time was against him. He had been waiting for the right girl to share that moment with, and he had yet to find her, so he kept himself until he met her.

"And ew, I mean I hate the guy, but I don't blame you for trying to do what you had done." Xavier had always been lady friendly so of course learned his skills over time, poor Trilby hadn't been like that so she had to learn her skills elsewhere, and no matter how much he wanted to beat up the guy now, if he was special to Trilby he would leave him alone for now. He kissed the top of her head lightly and rubbed her back, hoping that she would calm down a little, he hated to hear her cry. "The greenhouse though....hmm." He had never thought to bring a girl there before, he probably wouldn't either because he could imagine that it would get a little too warm in there for him, and Xavier liked himself self a little cold when he was with a girl.
 
As he spoke to her reason slowly crept back in, the fingers that curled around his jumper unfurled slowly. Her open palm feeling the heart beneath but only for the briefest moment before she lifted her head from its resting place and wiped her face. She had always presumed that someone like Xavier would have slept with half the school by now and yet, here he was telling her he hadn't slept with anyone. Her defenses rose immediately not just for the fact that he disliked Sebastian so but in relation to her own stupidity. His hands patting her back felt as if he were pitying her now. He kissed the top of her head and slowly his hands began to rub her back. She stepped away from him, just out of arms reach. Looking up into those eyes was her undoing but she refused to cry again.
"I've been stupid but it was not all Sebastian's fault. I am not a fool, I could have said no. I could have tried to stop it from happening" and this she had kept telling herself over and over again but it had all happened so quickly that one minute it seemed they had been kissing and then after moments of discomfort and pain, it was over. Sebastian she knew had seemed to enjoy it but she hadn't. That was no reason for blame to be deposited solely at his feet though. Her voice sounded so empty now, as if she were closing herself off. Shutting herself down.

"We had gone to the greenhouse to attend class but a blizzard blew up, we were stuck for a while there. We had not gone there with the intention of ... you know" she looked away not able to look at him anymore, "I have spent my entire time at this school, studying hard. Not getting into trouble, becoming a prefect. Doing everything that was expected of me. I kept myself from making friendships because something always goes wrong. This year I made one, my best friend. This year you... well, this year everything seemed to be going so right but now..."
She stopped speaking in English and began speaking in French as if it would soothe her somehow.
"Now it is all gone. Everything is tarnished like me".

Looking back at him again she wondered if she should mention what she had heard in the corridor but did not want to open up any further to anyone. It only got her hurt and in serious trouble. She had kept herself on her own for so long that reverting back to that state seemed the easiest option for her. Eventually the gossip and rumor mill would die down but she knew no one would forget what herself and Sebastian had 'supposedly' done in the greenhouse. Of course it wasn't supposedly and from what she had heard on the stairs, Sebastian was having no problem telling people about it.
"Thank you for listening to me. I shan't bother you any more".
 
Xavier for once felt really bad for this poor girl, it seemed like she truly hadn't known what she was doing when all of this happened. Maybe he didn't have to feel so betrayed then after all, maybe there was still a chance for him to try this whole getting with a girl he liked slowly thing, poor Trilby didn't deserved to get forced into things like that. "Well...not to be egotistical and such, but why sleep with him instead of me...I thought I made it obvious I liked you?" He asked as he whispered comforting french words in her ear and embracing her softly, he was good with flirting and such, but never as good at telling them if he actually liked them and such, the only question lurking in his head was if she was going to deny him feelings or yell at him, Sebastian seemed to be important to her and he didn't want to lose out to him.
 
Trilby felt even more confused than ever before as his words hit her like a bucket of ice. The whole reason she had been willing to practice in the first place was because she had wanted to be able to kiss Xavier the way he had kissed her. She had developed a crush on him it seemed like ages ago but had denied it time and again because of all the girls he was constantly with, she had not wanted to be simply another name for him to bandy about. Not for one moment even though he had initiated their kiss on their last meeting did she even contemplate that he might like her. Her brown eyes looked confused but he began to whisper to her in French. Her native tongue slipping from his lips like honey, like warm chocolate, while his arms came about her ever so softly. Trilby gasped, closing her eyes afraid of everything she would say and anything she would do. She was turning out to be more foolish than the silly girls that seemed to giggle all day long over make-up, boys and accessories. How was she supposed to answer him, reverting to French which she felt infinitely safer with Trilby took a deep breath.

She moved her head back so she could look up at his face.
"Xavier you made fun of me, you teased me and kissed me and then teased me some more. Where in that was I to know that you liked me? You kiss many girls" she bit her lip wondering how to continue, "I told you already, we didn't sleep together. What happened was.. spontaneous. We had never intended it to happen. If I were to choose who I were to sleep with... " Trilby searched inside her heart for the answer to that one, Sebastian was her best friend though she had been avoiding him like the plague since this had happened but she had never planned or expected them to share deeper feelings than those of friendship and was still sure she didn't want too now. No matter how his hands had made her feel, how his kisses had made her feel. She did not want to lose him as her friend and it was already happening because of that fateful day. It was simply best to put it behind them as if it never happened and try to regain their friendship once again. Xavier on the other hand, had never been classed as a friend. He was the cool guy at school that the girls fell for, so it had only been natural for her to end up being one of those as well.
"... I would have chosen you" her own hands had moved from his chest curling carefully around his neck as if she were not sure if this was the right thing to do. She may have lost her virginity but she still had so much to learn. What seemed to have come natural for herself and Sebastian because there had been no trust issues nothing at all, now seemed daunting and unsure with Xavier. She seriously felt that with Xavier she never be sure of anything.
 
Xavier laughed, okay so the poor girl did have a point about it being hard to tell if Xavier had a thing for you or not, he flirted with many girls and attracted them so easily it was like waking up in the morning to him. "Trilby, when I like a girl I keep bothering her, the others I just flirt once and go on my merry way." Surely Trilby had noticed how he seemed to bother her on many occasions, when Xavier actually liked a girl he couldn't leave her alone for some reason. Even if he flirted with others he seemed to go back to this particular girl just to make her day difficult many times, it wasn't because he liked to bother her to the point of insanity. Xavier merely wanted her to pay attention to him.

"Well choose me now then silly, be my girlfriend...or date me...or something." If she didn't have him then he was willing to try it out and see how they went with dating. It had been awhile since Xavier had dated anyone, but he figured he could help make it work if needed, he wasn't that scummy. Xavier felt Trilby extend her arms around him and grinned, so she did like him after all, what a pleasing comment to hear.
 
His words were almost soothing, so that's what boys did? Or just Xavier? Aggravate and annoy the girl they liked the most. She seriously wished she could have talked with her father about these things, he would surely have been able to give her some insight into the bizarre behaviors of boys.

They remained arms about one another, Trilby discovering that for the first time around him she was suddenly not so shy. He was asking her to choose him, to be his girlfriend but only one thought at first penetrated her. Was he asking her this because he thought she would sleep with him too? She wanted to believe otherwise of him and knowing she could not hurt herself anymore than what she had with Sebastian, nodded her head slowly.
"I would really like that, to be your girlfriend" she made sure to emphasize the girlfriend part, well he had offered that hadn't he? Her arms tightened slightly around his neck. She wondered would he kiss her now, wanting him too but not sure if she should ask. Instead she stood on her tiptoes and cast a quick peck on his mouth before smiling at him.
 
Xavier cracked a small smile and tightened his hug as his hands dropped to her waist, she was his girlfriend now so why not be a bit more intimate even if it was something small. This was definitely going to have to be something for him to brag to Vincent about, both of them seemed to be having trouble in the girl area and Xavier finally managed to snag the girl he was crushing on, he could only hope the best for his friend seeing as he had no clue what girl he was moping over. "Cool, And I'm not going to ask you to sleep with me or anything, I have more moral than that." He rolled his icy blue eyes before he brought his hand up quickly to brush some of his bangs away from his face, so he could see her better. He was happy that she said yes because not only had he won her over the other guy, he liked her and it was rare when he actually liked someone like that.

"Your friend isn't going to get mad is he?" Xavier asked after he leaned down to kiss her back softly, even if he didn't really like the boy all that much because of what he and Trilby had done, he didn't want her to fight with her friends because of him or anything. Xavier believed that friendship could be one of the most powerful bonds in the world, there was no use on messing it up so young.
 
Feeling his arms hold her tighter, her own wrapped more securely about him. Feeling not quite so hopeless as she had done the past few weeks. The actual thought that he was now her boyfriend was a strange one yet also extremely pleasant. It was a strange combination the pair of them and yet she could not help but muse on how well they looked together. His words caused her to chuckle and she playfully slapped him on his shoulder.
"Good, I am glad of that" though why she also felt wounded by his words she could not understand. Was sleeping with her that detrimental moralistically? Had she set a new all time low having done what she had with Sebastian?

She bit her lip and shook her head at his next question.
"I do not know. We have not spoken in some time. Not since that day. I am too embarrassed and ..." should she really tell him what she had heard, her face ducked from view so he would not see the emotions warring with one another there. Sebastian had been her best friend, he had known himself that all would change as soon as they
even touched but still she had pushed her case. Now they no longer even looked at one another or if they did, only when the other was not looking.

"I do not wish to talk about him" she smiled looking back at his beautiful blue eyes and gently kissing him before laying her head against his chest,"I am dating the most handsome boy in the entire school, why would I want to speak about another boy?"
 
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