Matters of a Delicate Nature

[Lumina Sangora]

She knew she should have told him long ago but she had been unable to get in contact with him.
Lumina was walking very fast down stairs and corridors, he head facing straight ahead and her eyes a little unfocussed.
The scars would last forever. But what had she been able to do? She was too young. She was alone.
And now Lumina was outside the door, her knuckles ready but..
She froze.
This was a delicate situation. She couldn't just blurt it out.
Lumina took a moment to straighten out her clothes, sort her hair and prepare to divulge her greatest secret.

It was time to tell him. It was time Jonathan knew.
Her knuckles knocked again the door.

 

[Jonathan Spenser]

Jonathan was sitting in his office glad that the holidays were soon to arrive. Sitting at his desk he wrote a letter - one of many in fact - to his long sister. It had been a lot for him to take in, finding out he had family that he had never known about but all considered he was taking it well enough so far. As a knock came to the door Jonathan finished his letter, attatching it to his owl. As soon as the owl was out through the window Jonathan called, "Enter!" to the person behind the door. Waving his wand quickly over his desk, the bird was getting old and started to loose his feathers all the time.

 

[Lumina Sangora]

Lumina opened the door, stepping inside and hovering by the door.
How could she go about it?
"Jonathan," Lumina said, taking a deep breath. This wasn't going to be easy but she did not believe in dancing about the truth just because it hurt. Just because it broke her heart every time she remembered.
"Do you.. Do you remember when we first met?" This was as good a starting point as any.

 

[Jonathan Spenser]

Jonathan lifted his eyes from his desk as the person entered the room. Before he could set his eyes on the person he knew who it was, it was hard to forget your first love. Looking at her, his eyes widened with disbelieve. "Lumina!" he said, falling back into his chair, speechless at the fact that she was here. And she was a Professor? He knew that they had been a few changes to the staff lately and he had only briefly seen the new Professors, how could he have missed her? His eyebrows frowned when she asked her question. The question it's wasn't really what got to him, it was the bluntness. It had been years since they last saw each other and after so long this is how she starts a conversation. Sighing he obliged and answered. "Yes. I do remember." A hint of fondness in his voice. "Why do you ask?" he questioned her, motioning his arm to the chair across from him.

 

[Lumina Sangora]

Lumina walked a little closer yet she refused to sit down.
Her heart gave a small flutter seeing him again.. But she told herself those feelings no longer existed.
"I.. Well, I tried to contact you for ages but I never got any reply.."
Lumina stood closer to him now. Right before him.
She could still remember their time together vividly.
"I hate to beat about the bush so.." she sighed, "Do you remember what happened between us? A while before we lost contact, do you remember what we did?"
She was getting close to it now.

 

[Jonathan Spenser]

Jonathan looked up at the woman standing in front of him. He frowned slightly as he remembered the feelings he once had for her and how now he felt nothing. How could one be so in love and not feel those feelings again? He gave a small sigh when she said how she had tried to contact him. After he graduated he had moved and was constantly traveling all over the world with his archelogical digs. It was a shame that he hadn't been able to keep in contact with her but when they had both wanted different things and gone seperate ways he had tried his best to forget about her because at the time it was too hard to think about her. "I'm sorry about that. It wasn't for lack of want, believe me." he told her, his voice showing hints of pled. Listening to her words as she continued Jonathan became confused, how could he forget what had happened between them. It may have been a few years ago but it was memories that were fond to him, ones he would never forget. "Yes." he said with confusion clear in his voice. "Lumina what's wrong?" he asked. He could tell that she was trying to tell him something, something important.

 

[Lumina Sangora]

"A week after we broke up, I found out I was pregnant."
There. She had said it. She had dropped bomb.
Lumina did not want to say it. She had never wanted to tell him but he had a right to know.
A tear sparked in her eyes and she summoned a handkerchief.
She dabbed at the corners of her eyes.

 

[Jonathan Spenser]

Jonathan felt as though someone had punched him in the gutt as Lumina told him what, he assumed could only be, what she had come to tell him. Jonathan sat, staring at nothing in particular, just staring. Although he had understood what she had said he was still trying to process it. Lately his life had been turned upside down, finding out he had new family in the form of sisters and nieces. Then now! Now his family just got a lot more bigger, with his child? Of course when he was younger and foolish he never thought of his actions and what the outcomes would be. Now he knew just how stupid he was in doing so. "I...I'm sorry Lumina." he said standing up and walking over to the other side of the desk. He leaned against it as he looked at Lumina. "Believe me if I had of known I would have been there in a heartbeat. No one should be made to raise a child on their own." he said. His mind qucikly did the sums and if he was right their child wasn't really a child anymore, far from it, it would be an adult by now, 19 at least.

 

[Lumina Sangora]

Lumina nodded. "I know you would have," she said, "I know you would have been a good father.. But that's only half the reason why I'm here." She made the handkerchief disappear. She was ready to tell all.
"Well.. Please forgive me for what I did- I know he will never forgive me but.. Well, I was alone- no family to help me and my father disowning me.. I couldn't take care of him.. I gave our baby away." She looked to Jonathan's eyes. Directly at them.
"I gave away a defenseless young being and I thought I would never see him again.. But I did."
She gave small sniff, trying to focus on the present and not the past.
"He's in Brightstone right now in a tent. Juggling. Our son. Robin."

 

[Jonathan Spenser]

Jonathan smiled at Lumina's words. He always wanted to be a father, having being the oldest in the family he was used to looking after his younger siblings, a child of his own would have been the next step. But now he wouldn't have that chance...well not with his first child anyway. He looked back into Lumina's eyes, smiling as he saw the beautiful mismatch of the blue and brown eyes that used to make him melt when he saw them. But he didn't have time to reminisce as he heard what Lumina had to say. Hearing her words he felt a mixture of emotions well up inside of him. Anger; not so much at Lumina but as himself for not being there and making Lumina do something which she didn't want to do. Sadness; for their child. Being raised and not knowing who his real family was. All these emotions and more that he couldn't quite place in the moment were laced with pride, he had a son? He could feel his heard swell at the thought of it. He always loved kids, mostly why he went into teaching in the first place. Jonathan shook his head, "Lumina I understand. You were put ina difficult situation and you did what you thought was best for...Robin." he said, feeling strange saying his sons name for the first time. "Did you talk to him?" he asked.

 

[Lumina Sangora]

Lumina shook her head.
"No," she said, feeling guilty, "I couldn't.. Not after what I've done to him.. He seems happy with the life he has, though."
She shrugged and sat down, her knees becoming weak.
"He would never forgive me.." At that point, Lumina broke down in tears.
There would probably be no point trying to get anything more out of her for her heart was breaking.
Breaking in the most terrible way.

 

[Jonathan Spenser]

Jonathan listened to Lumina's words. Words that he could tell were filled with guilt and sorrow. At this moment Jonathan felt more sorry for Lumina, the whole situation seemed to be eating her up. How she had managed it in the first place and held it in for all this time was beyond him. As Lumina sat down Jonathan bent down beside her, offering her a tissue. Rubbing her back softly he tried to calm her as the tears started. "You can't say that. You don't know what he'll do." he told her. Sighing he came up with an idea. "How about I talk to him?" he offered. "When break starts I'll go into Brightstone and find him. I'll explain the situation to him and tell you the outcome?" he told her his idea. True it wasn't the best thought out plan but he had just come up with it and he had only just found out the news moments ago.