Closed Letters to you

[Professor Lyra Potter]

Today was Christmas. It was officially four years since she had last heard her mother's voice, and all Lyra could think about was the fact that these babies might never hear her voice. This It had been nearly two months since that day when Lyra ran away from her old life and everyone else in it. Something in her just broke when Felix rejected her even though she knew that she deserved that rejection. She had taken him for granted and pushed him away too many times. Lyra had immediately apparated away, not able to face Ezra after it all. He was so incredibly good to her, and Lyra knew she'd never deserve the love he showed her on a daily basis. All she ever did was hurt the ones who loved her most. Lyra Potter was toxic, and she needed to remove herself from them before she hurt them anymore.

Lyra had fled to her grandfather's home, mostly because she knew that no one would be there, and it would be a while before he missed anything she took when she disappeared into the muggle world. It was the only place she'd completely unrecognizable. She packed a suitcase with her mother's old clothing to wear and took a car that once belonged to Kiera. Thankfully, Lyra knew how to drive as Kiera considered that a right of passage from her muggle upbringing. Slowly, Lyra made her way up the California coast until she found a remote, small town on the beach. Lyra convinced the owner of the local coffee shop to give her a job, and she managed to rent a tiny apartment. It was completely different from her house in New Zealand, but she liked it. Not that she enjoyed much these days. She felt like an empty shell of a person she once knew. Lyra had lost so many people she loved even if two of them were entirely her fault. She had time to think in the last two months about her regrets and what she should have done. It was a very solitary life she had chosen, but she knew what she needed. She missed him every single day, but she couldn't bring herself to go back. Lyra Potter was done with the wizarding world completely all of the pain and disappointment she had suffered there. So, she wrote letters instead that she knew she'd never bring herself to send.

I love you.

I know now that I didn't tell you that as much as you deserved to hear it. I should have told you every day, and I am so sorry for that but for so many other things, too. I'm sorry for leaving the way I did, but I just couldn't handle another heartbreak. Not that heartbreak. I want you to have a happy life with someone that loves you and that you love back. I'm sorry I couldn't give you my heart completely when you asked for it.

I hope that one day you will forgive me for what I did.

I love you always,
Ly

 

[Professor Lyra Potter]

Lyra stared down at the tiny little creatures in front of her in this blanche white room. It had been terrifying to walk into this hospital, alone and very much in labor. It was too early. Much too early for her babies to arrive, but the brunette was aware that it had always been a strong possibility that she would never make it to full term. It was difficult to remember exactly what had happened next in the flurry of movement around her. Lyra had been rushed into a hospital gown before being wheeled into a delivery room. The next eight hours were the worst eight hours of her life, but at the end, Lyra did it. One perfect little girl and one perfect little boy. Nothing else in the world mattered anymore. Only her children. Lyra would do anything to protect them, even if it meant raising them alone in this world without magic.

Our children were born today. A little girl and a little boy. They are completely perfect. You should see her adorable little nose and his pink lips. I know you'd love them immediately, just like I do.

I'm sorry I ran away. I pushed away everyone I love because I thought I'd die and hurt you all more. I was wrong. I understand that now.

I named them after two of the most important people in my life. William James Potter and Kiera Hope Potter. Maybe one day I will have the courage to let you meet them, but for now, I'm doing this on my own.

Love you always,
Ly