Just Sitting

"It really is" Maddiie agreed, a drizzle of rain starting pouring down on them The sun was coming out, but the sky was still gray.When it rains like this Maddiie always think something sad had just happen. As if the gods itself was shedding tear from someone grief or pain.


She didn't know what to say to Amy, she didn't seem to want to share. But maybe if she open up towards her, she will feel more comfortable around her."You know I've lost someone recently.." she started to say. "Me mum, they said she died..." she said looking down at the ground.
 
Amy sighed as a soft drizzle of rain began to pour from the clouds. She was only in her t-shirt and tracksuit and a thin layer of water was beginning to form on her skin. She shook her head, sending water droplets spraying around. She carried on walking, her steps thudding down on the ground.

Amy and Maddiie walked on in silence for a while until that is, Maddiie told her about her mum. Amy stopped dead, the shock apparent on her pale and empty face.

"Oh Maddiie I'm...I'm..." Amy didn't know what to say. Nothing she could say would reassure Maddiie, she knew that from personal experiance.

"I'm sorry.." she whispered, trailing off some what lamely. Amy was still standing stock still, feeling as if she couldn't move a muscle any further.
 
Maddiie looked out towards the distance, as she walked along side of Amy, she had expected that reaction. That I'm sorry saying, why was everyone sorry? They did nothing wrong, her mother cause of death was still unclear to her. But she will be doing some searching when she get back home this summer.



"You live and you grief" she responded. It was something she had to dealt with it, even when she wasn't the same anymore. Innocence have left the building, it was time for her to mature now, it was time to be the co- head house.
 
Seeing Maddiie continuing to walk, Amy once again began to move her legs in a rhythmic motion. Left, right, left, right. She thought about Maddies words. 'You live and your grieve'.

There was a ringing truth in Maddiies words, a seemingly strange one at that. Amy didn't know what to say next, her mind going into overdrive.

Instead of saying anything, Amy let the rain speak for her. The dull drizzle reflecting her mood.
 
Seeing that Amy only work a shirt, Maddiie took off her robes giving to her."Here put this on you wouldn't want to get sick." she kept walking along side of her with the robe held to her left, to see if she will take it or not.
 
Amy was lost in thought, and was bought back to reality by the sound of Maddiies words. She was momentarily startled to find herself here, with company. Amy could see Maddiie holding out her robes for her to take but Amy shook her head.

"No, no I'm fine, you need them" she insisted, her croaky voice beginning to hurt.

She carried on walking as she spoke, stepping into time with Maddiie so that they would be walking at the same pace and therefore at the same level.
 
Maddiie didn't put the robe back on instead put it up against her shoulders. She had wanted to say something, like please tell me whats wrong. But its not like she can force a person to talk, no one can. She waited a while as the rain let out a little the clouds drifting away slowly.


"Amy I know it hurts right now, but one day it won't anymore" she said staring down at the wet ground, witch now felt a little muddy. She wanted to make her feel better, but she still felt sad herself. How can two sad person make each other feel happy?, she said to herself. She sighed as her heart skip a beat.
 
Amy, feeling a sudden decrease in the volume of rain, looked up in a skyward direction. She was slightly more comforted to notice the weight of clouds ease, and the sun begin to feebly extend its rays onto the wet, sodden earth. She shivered slightly, her damp clothes hanging off of her, making her feel the cold wind that blew constantly.

She heard Maddiies voice faintly, giving her words of reassurance. She looked up at Maddiie, who was in fact quite a bit taller than Amy herself, and smiled weakly. But then as soon as she smiled another thought crossed her mind. How could it ever stop hurting? She had never stopped feeling the pain of her mothers death. Of course she had been much younger, but the years growing up had reminded her of what she had lost. She felt it almost every day. People talking about their ordinary lives at home, having both mums and dads. But Amy had never had that, nor would she ever have that.

It was strange how life dealt certain people certain cards, and unfortunately Amy's hand had been painfully unlucky. She had never thought of herself as unlucky at all; after loosing her mother she still had her dad, and indeed her uncle. But now a feeling of rising unluckiness was building up in her system. First her mum, then her dad? Amy didn't want to think about a next person. She didn't think her mind would ever be fully recovered enough to deal with the loss of yet another close person. She shook her head, willing these thoughts out, not wanting to dwell on them for any length of time.

"Does the pain really ever stop though?" she asked suddenly, somewhat rhetorically. She had wondered what made Maddiie think that, when, Amy herself had experianced a never ending pain of loss.
 
Maddiie had thought about what she just said. She had lost her brother and now he haunts her dream. She still cry for him at times, but than she still have to live her life. She would never have thought her mother would be next, so it was another wound, and this one was fresh. She shiver had though had come into her mind, she closed her eyes slightly trying to think for a moment.


"The pain, it goes away, but....but than you will never forget." she said as she studder a little bit. Its true you will never forget, but you try to remember those happy moment that you have with that person. How you use to laugh and smile with them, you start to giggle of the memories, the ones that you treasure the most. But than you have the feeling of missing them and wishing they were here. Sigh it was just another emotional roller coaster.
 
Amy heard Maddiies comment and looked up at her. Frowning slightly, she knew that she must know what she was talking about it. Maddiie must have been in that position before. She looked up at Maddiie with new found respect.

"Yeah, I guess you're right" Amy said, smiling. It was the first smile that was completely genuine, the first smile that had managed to reach her eyes. The difference it made was noticable, her green eyes lit up ever so slightly.

She thought over all the good memories, the ones she had with her dad. There were so many good ones, so many to be thankful for. But almost at once, the thought that there would be no more memories to make, saddened her again. And her face fell, realising that she still needed to grieve for him, for the loss.
 
"Its okay to cry.." she said as she felt tears dripping down her eyes, it was okay to cry. But she had thought she was finished crying, why was she crying now. She wiped them away quickly hoping Amy did not notice. She felt her throat go dry again, than manage to cough a dry cough. She must be getting sick, she said to herself.
 
Amy listened to Maddiie's words and turned her head ever so slightly to look at her. She noted the glistening tear tracks on her face but said nothing, and felt this was the right decision when Maddiie quickly wiped her eyes. Amy didn't know what to say and so carried on walking, the sunshine beginning to break through the clouds. She shivered slightly, as her skin had a layer of rain on it, as did her clothes, which were now beginning to dry but still sticking to her slightly. She sneezed involuntarily, and cursed herself for not wearing more. Amy hoped she didn't get a chill from her stupidity.

Amy was at a loss as to what to say to Maddiie now, the two of them still walking by the lake. She thought maybe a change in subject might help a little.
"How are...how are lessons going for you?" she asked Maddiie, hoping she wouldn't be too suprised by the change in subject.
 
Maddiie shruuged a little, after she had asked her about lesson. They were okay, even if she didn't wanted to be here, they were important as well. She didn't know if her future careeer depneded on what she have learn in Hogwarts. But she managed to say something, if it matters to her. "They are okay, getting harder as years go by..and you." she asked.
 
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