Just another picture to burn

[Alex Cullen]

Alex looked at where he had apparated. Once again he found himself situated in front of the cafe he had met up with Elise but today, he had other matters to attend to. He had read the newspaper and had not been happy one bit. How could she do something so stupid, so reckless, so endangering - not just to herself, but to the people who cared for her? Her guardians. She was so lucky she had people who cared for her, unlike him. How he would of killed for people like those and she was just taken them for granted.
But as much as he wanted to shout and scream at the brat, he couldn't. He had promised not to be near her again but promises were meant to be broken and he had to at least check in with the school kid's to see if she really was okay. Not speak to her, but speak to people who knew of her. It wasn't completely broken that way at least.
The wind swirled round him as he stood in the middle of the road, the thunder echoing loudly behind him. He was the only one to be seen in miles but he didn't care in his military jacket and navy worker jeans. His eyes showed his purpose as he began to walk at a steady pace up the street towards where the school was found. Lightning struck up the deserted dark city and suddenly the rain was pouring down, drenching him in the space of five minutes. He didn't care though in his jacket and worker jeans. Not a car or thing on wheels was found moving in the city as this was the one Sunday in the month where transport, 'xcept bicycles were allowed. He didn't care though in his sodden wet clothes.
He only came to see if Moko was really herself or not anymore. If she was okay. Because if she wasn't, Alex didn't know if he could let himself off with that this time in his life.

 

[Moko Craven]

It was essential that she take time away from the school and everything to do with the tournament. Her head swam with it all and luckily at Beauxbatons they firmly believed in weekend breaks much like Durmstrang. Many of the students had gone out earlier to the shops but she had hung back only venturing out now when many seemed to be returning. They had of course good reason to return, a storm was brewing and the rumble of thunder was audible in the distance. Pulling her black warm Durmstrang robe about her, Moko set out from the school. The road was empty save for two cyclists pedaling their way frantically back towards the town, she smiled from her raised hood as the first drops fell on her. Lightening lit the sky and the heavens opened up, releasing every drop it seemed to be savoring. Racing beneath a tree for shelter she watched it beat down on the street, a greasy film seemed to coat the road almost immediately and she was glad that no muggles were out in their stupid contraptions on a day like this.

Pushing the hood back from her face, Moko clad in jeans and a blouse beneath her robe stayed huddled beneath the tree. For whatever reason possessed her she did not know but suddenly she was pushing herself from the trunk of the near barren tree that had attempted to protect her from the deluge and she ran to the center of the road. Standing there with her hands splayed out by her sides she leaned her head back and allowed the rain to pour down on top of her face. As if washing herself clean of everything, purging herself of any residue that remained of Alex Cullen. The veela's at the tournament had helped in some way and making a new friend in Gaston had also helped to put the heart ache she had suffered by him far enough out of her reach. Now standing in the tide of rain that gushed down on top of her, she felt the last vestiges of her feelings for him wash away. It was long over due, much too long over due.

 

[Alex Cullen]

Alex rounded the corner into the next street not sure if this was the cruel fate bearing down on him again. There she was, the rain forming a sacred halo above her, making her look like a fallen angel. Alex's breath caught in his throat as his jaw clenched.
No person who was ok would come into the situation like this. He recognized the way she stood and knew what she was doing. Washing out some really bad memories. And he knew for some reason, they'd be linked to him and how much of a jerk he was. But a part of his brain didn't want her to do that. Why did she had to flush him away like a piece of junk and him being stuck with only regrets and guilt from when he met her in that graveyard?
He could feel the vibration in the air as the storm grew more and more energy around them, ready for crescendo of thunder that would echo round them in a matter of minutes. His hands reached out for her but he stopped himself before he could move. No, he would leave her. She was managing herself to forget him. He did not need to speak to her. He had promised.
But his gut was telling him different things. His legs jogged to her and his hand took her upper arm in his. 'What are you doing?' he said to her, sternly and very worriedly. He started pulling her with him towards the nearest tree so she would be out of the rain. 'Do you know how ill you could fall standing out in the rain for that long?' he probed her, a frown sent towards her. He knew he shouldn't do this but it was the only way he'd be this close to her. Act as if he hated her, increase the process.
Letting go of her arm before he could begin to think about how he had missed the burning touch, he backed away slightly. 'Oh no, sorry I forgot. You planned on killing yourself anyway with the stupid tournament. Do you know how dangerous and life threatening that thing is? People have died in Moko. Died.' he replied, making sure she got the message of how she was practically committing suicide on her guardians. 'And what happened to your family. DO you not think they care enough about their own lives instead of thinking about arranging funeral's for you?' he added, though that bit was complete lies. He did not think they would be like that at all. But he had to keep up the 'act'. He stared at her face, her breathtaking face wanting to touch it, caress it so much but he couldn't...shouldn't.

 

[Moko Craven]

The rain fell like a beautiful waterfall cleansing her of everything, she ran short of holding her hands up to it completely. Not wanting to tempt fate by having a lightening bolt strike her when there was still so much she had to do with her life. A hand gripped her arm and an all too familiar voice broke her thoughts. Fate would have been kinder sending the lightening bolt instead she fumed as her face lowered from the falling rain to look at him. She blinked furiously threw the storm at him, just who in the world did he think he was? Acting as if he actually cared for her when they both knew he didn't. Dragging her across to a nearby tree, she only allowed it because she was still very much dazed by his presence. Finally he released her and all she could do was stand there and listen to him. Listen to him lecture her on the stupidity of standing in the rain, of entering the tournament and how thoughtless she was being to her guardians.

Her jaw set firmly, she had only entered the competition to purge herself of him once and for all and hoped that by the end of the entire thing if she were still standing, that she would finally have forgotten him. How could she do that if he showed up when he was least expected or wanted. Tempted as she was to reach out and touch him to test how real he was, Moko bunched her hands into fists instead keeping them firmly at her sides.

When he finished his own little tirade she continued to glower at him.
"Do not dare lecture me on what I do with my life. You are not a part of it remember, you did not want to be apart of it so you get no say in any of it" she shouted over the rumble of thunder now overhead, the rain soaked her to the bone but she could seriously careless.
"My guardians are thrilled actually, not that it is any of your business but being selected a champion is a great honor" she did not mention death at all because it was the thought of that which had caused her to put her name forward. She had been such a coward convincing herself that she could not live in a world without him with her, she could attempt to purge her heart and soul of him all she wanted but it made no difference. Moko would still know that he lived and breathed without her, death was just another adventure was it not?

She continued to glower at him until finally her hand raised and slapped him hard across his cheek.
"You have no right.. no right to lecture me" she waited for nothing more from him but turned on her heel and began to walk swiftly away.

 

[Alex Cullen]

Alex felt the rain continue to beat down on him as he stood at the edge of the tree, the rivers of rain running down his neck and creating lines in his short brown hair. He waited for something from her but all she did was glower, showing no emotions except anger. Well, he should of probably accepted that. What was he thinking? Her running to his arms, desperate for him to come back? Get real, Cullen, he thought bitterly as the storm released it's energy once more.
The energy Moko needed before shouting back at him. He winced slightly as she told him he no part of her life. No, he wasn't but she was a part of his life. And yes, she had all the right to tell him to back out because he had promised not to be around her anymore. How was he to know how difficult that was going to be when he made the note? He stared at her as she said it was a great honour. Like he didn't know. It was also a great honour to get a chance to put your name into the goblet if you weren't from that school. He knew the honour that came with being champion, having been the boyfriend of the last Hogwarts champion and helping her through the tasks.
He didn't respond though, just staring behind her head in deep thought. Why had she done it? It wasn't like he had played her on like the other girls. Surely he hadn't impacted her that much to make her compete in this competition? No, it had to be something else. Someone had made her feel guilty in her parents death. And he'd kill the bastard who had.
A flame burned across his cheek and brought him pummeling to earth once more. She had slapped him?! Alex just stared at her, his jaw set. She had slapped him. He was more surprised then shocked, mostly because every other time she had the opportunity and she had turned it down. But now, she had slapped him. Alex shook his head as she lecture him on what rights he had. As she turned her back on him, he fumed. She was not leaving him just like that. He care enough about her to break a promise and this was what happened?
He caught her arm and turned her around. 'If I have no rights to lecture you, what rights do I have then Morrigan? The right to watch you throw away the great life you have? Just because you're family has died, doesn't mean you need to too. I know what it feels like and I know that you need to get on and do something better than throwing yourself away just because your temporarily depressed.'
His voice was sincere and honest now. What act could he keep on when he was in front of her. He lost his controlled exterior all the time with her and there was no way in the near future, he'd be able to have control over it soon.

 

[Moko Craven]

Her legs could not move swiftly enough away from him, she simply presumed that he would walk away as he had before. Instead his hand on her arm seemed to becoming a habit, as he turned her around to face him. He looked as angry as she felt as he began to speak to her but as he spoke she began building a wall up to stop him from hurting her again. He had gotten too close before, she had let him in completely and her reward for that had been his walking away from her. Telling her that he would never come near her again, that she could do better than him.

His grip on her arm did not desist so she prized his fingers from her with her free hand. Her long brown hair was now sodden and matted down the length of her back, a wet tendril hung loosely by her cheek. Water dripped from her chin and she shivered slightly but she would not give him the satisfaction of hurting her anymore.

"Rights? Rights? You have no rights, not over me. You left me. Remember that when you get up on your high horse to lecture me. I poured my heart out to you and you left me. So don't stand there as if I am the one who is at fault here" standing back from him now that her arm was free she fumed that angry tears were filling up. She refused to let him see her cry, she had shed enough tears because of him and refused to shed any more.

"I am not depressed. I have never been more sane in all my life. I am not doing this because my parents died, if they were alive they would be so proud of me. Just go away Alex, it's what you're best at isn't it? Leaving me! Just go away" she wanted desperately to be the one to walk away this time but she didn't. She stood her ground almost daring him to do it to her again, to try to hurt her as he had before. It was as if she were testing herself, to see just how much she was really over him if at all.

 

[Alex Cullen]

Alex let her pry away his hand from her arm. He obviously couldn't do it himself. Couldn't be allowed to leave her warm skin. He listened as she replied to him. Though he wished he hadn't. Every word was another stab to the gut. He had been so stupid, so so stupid. And she was just throwing it in his face even more. He took a step back from her, hurt evident in his eyes.
'I never said you were at fault here. I already know who is at fault,' he replied softly, looking away sightly. He took a deep breath of the stinging cold air and let the rivers of rain continue to fall onto him, trying to wash away the emotions he so desperately tried to avoid. It was one of the reasons he didn't get him attached to anyone. Let other people do what they wanted but he'd not get close to anything after Haden. But he had twice now; Kiera and Moko.
He frowned slightly as she said she wasn't doing this because her family was died. Surely she wasn't doing this because of him. No, it couldn't be. It was just hormones, she didn't know what she was doing when she had kissed him. Surely she would have recovered from that. poop! He turned to look at her as she told him to go. Staring for what seemed like eternity but in reality just a few moments, he shook his head. 'I left because I thought it was best Moko. You don't know me hardly. If you did, you'd be running for the hills right now.' he replied. 'And I'm taking you back to the school right now, where people can help you because you're obviously incapable of helping yourself right now,' he told her sternly, protectiveness flowing amongst his letters. He stood his ground looking at her. Why didn't she just walk away like all the other times. It'd make it so much easier to accept that she was well and truly over him and Alex had messed it yet again.

 

[Moko Craven]

She had expected another roaring match, for his temper to rise as well but that was not what she got. Moko looked incredulous as his tone of voice was soft, softer than she had ever heard it. This wasn't right and it wasn't fair, she was getting over him. No, correction she was over him. Wasn't she? This was ludicrous and yet she didn't move, couldn't move.
"There you go again, what's best? What's best for you, you mean. How would you know what is best for me? You never stick around long enough to find out" she fumed pushing the wet hair from her face as she watched him. Her breathing was slightly ragged, as if she were struggling to breathe right in his presence.

"You aren't taking me anywhere" she frowned at him, "You are not my keeper, it's raining big thrill. It rains worse than this where I attend school. I am not incapable of helping myself, I am not incapable of ..." she knew she had been about to say something she would have regretted, how could her heart betray her again so easily. Morrigan glared at him and stood up tall and proud before him. The rain did not seem to want to ease up at all, another blast of lightening flashed over head but still she stood her ground. One wrong move and all the hard work she had spent the past few months attempting to get over him would have all been for naught. He was dangerously close and she knew if he touched her once more that she would crumble. Fight it as she may, her erratic heart beat when he was near let her know without a doubt that she still cared for him.

 

[Alex Cullen]

Alex's lips dropped slightly down as she continued to fume at him. As she pushed her hair away from her face, his heart raced up at the sight of her angelic face. Damn. He cursed it as usual because it was quite clear she wanted him gone. This was one girl he was not allowed yet wanted needed so much.
'You think I liked trying to stay away? I've been trying for ages to get you out my head, without any success. And when I found out you entered the blasted competition, I've been trying to persuade myself to keep to the promise I gave you and stay away. But not being able to sleep from worrying so much is killing my people. I didn't plan on this if that's what your thinking. I was only going up to the school to ask some people if you were okay so I could go back to trying to live again,' he confessed to her, trying to make things right again between them. He did not want her to believe that he wanted to leave her. It was necessary in his mind. She did deserve a lot better than him, far more. And it was his fault for meeting her in the first place in that club that he brought all this on.
He took a step closer to her addictive vibes, needing to feel the power she had flowing round her seep into him. He knew what he was doing was so selfish but he couldn't help it. Humans were built to be selfish deep down and right now, his heart needed to feel something more than guilt and anger. 'I'm sorry. I - I just thought it was for the best. I'll still leave if you want me too. I can't promise to stay away this time b - but I'll try harder.' What the hell? He was now stuttering? Any other time, he would be slapping himself on the head like a blooming idiot he was but something about right now, he didn't care what a mess he was in right now. He would remember her face as of now, because this was probably the last chance he'd get to for a long time.

 

[Moko Craven]

As he spoke she began to shake her head, nothing he said made any sense. He had made it so abundantly clear when he had come to her home that she was not what he needed or wanted. The all too familiar excuse of 'she deserved better' had been scribbled on the note he had given her. She had told him that she was crazy about him and he had let her stand there freezing herself within an inch of her life, uncaring and unmoving. Her guardian Samson one of the greatest healers the magic world had ever known had not been able to lift her spirits in the days and weeks that had followed. Her feet had been warmed and her health was perfect but no magic potion had yet been invented to cure a broken heart and Alex Cullen had broken hers.

"I don't believe you" she called on every bit of strength now to see her through this, "I don't believe I mean anything to you. It's all a lie and you know it. You made all of that clear when we last met. You speak about my guardians being worried for me here at the tournament, well they were more concerned about me after that night. I couldn't sleep for ages" her voice had lowered as well though it was not soft at all, it held strength and conviction. She was determined to get this out and get on with her life.
"I couldn't eat, I was wasting away before their eyes ... because of .. because of how I felt for you. It took me a while but I am over you Alex" she refused to tell him she had entered the competition because of him, why inflate his ego more, "You made me get over you, you wanted me to deserve better..." she pulled the only rabbit out of the hat she had, "and I have met someone deserving of me".

Ok so Gaston was just a friend but there was so much potential there and yet she was so hesitant with him as well. Once bitten, twice shy.
"I want you to leave" her heart nearly screamed liar at her but she steeled herself, "I want you to leave like you said you would and stay gone this time."
Her hands twitched at her sides, wanting to slap herself for being so heartless and stupid but she would not let him hurt her again. He was capable of destroying her and she could not allow that, not again, not ever. She had discovered that not only had she a weakness for Veela's but her biggest weakness was Alex Cullen. Moko would have given anything to simply be stupid enough to move closer to him and kiss him but pride gave her the strength to resist this impulse.

 

[Alex Cullen]

Alex frowned as she continued to disregard his words of truth with such ease. Did she not know how hard it had been to say those things just to be cast aside like lies? Maybe, maybe he was better living under a mask, his rebellious exterior where nothing and no one who upset him from his goals, just like Haden had been. The confident, lively player who made sure everyone had their moment, and everyone knew their name.
His dark grey eyes cast downwards as she talked about what happened. He didn't want to hear any of it. None. He knew already what that was like, knew the emptiness that caused the life around you to cease until somebody was strong enough to kick you in the ass to get moving again. And he, he had done that to her, twice in her life now because of his selfish ways.
But what hurt the most was that she had followed his stupid, idiotic, masochistic advice. She had found someone else, another toy to fling round her finger. But at least, at least it was someone better. Someone who would not make her life living hell or endanger her life but someone who could give her the world. His eyes blurred over but he did not let the tears fall. Too many had fallen in his life over some people who weren't worth it for more.
As she told him what she wanted, he felt the sharpness of her slap again, only this time on his mind. Telling him to man up and go. She didn't deserve him, the useless bag of poop that he was. Nope, she deserved that other person she deemed appropriate. Looking up again at her, he managed a smile. He would tell her one more thing, and then go. Continue down the tarmac-rivers between the buildings so he could run through the storm before going home, or the closest he had been to home for a long time.
'I hope he makes you happy, Moko. I hope he can give you the world. You'll like that. But please, keep yourself safe. The second and third tasks are alot harder to riddle out and you'll need your friends more than ever. Don't lose yourself...ever'

 

[Moko Craven]

She waited to see his reaction, willing him not to go. Willing him to stay and tell her for once in his miserable life how he felt about her. But she should have known better, instead he began to speak about her 'imaginery' boyfriend making her happy. Tempted beyond anything to shake him senseless and yell at him that he would have made her happy, she didn't. Instead she stood there feeling more defeated than she had ever felt in her entire life. She could seriously care less about the tournament at that moment and hated him for mentioning it when she felt as if the little bit of life she had garnered for herself in his absence had been taken from her once again.

How could you get over your soul mate? How could you get over the person your heart desired relentlessly? This was too much to bare and she fervently hoped that the next task would hurt her so viciously that all thoughts of him would be extinguished forever.

The rain beat down on her bare head and she shivered slightly once more. If this was it, if this was going to be the final goodbye then she was leaving it on her terms and not his. Breaking the short distance between them she paused looking into the eyes that had haunted her dreams for so very long. Her slender hands reached up and cradled his face as her lips found his. It was not a peck, planted before high tailing it out of there. Her mouth moved over his with an urgency that shocked her, if she was to go the rest of her days without him then she was taking one last proper kiss away with her. Every heart beat she had felt for him, every tear she had cried, every joy and pain felt was poured from her soul to her lips and imprinted on him just exactly what he had meant to her.

 

[Alex Cullen]

Alex heard another pair of footsteps join his but they became faster and louder and he knew someone was coming his way. He was tempted to look to see who it was but..but Moko was there and he didn't want to see her happy face from him being gone. His steps slowed considerably until he stopped, meeting the brown orbs that were staring into his dull grey ones. The ones that he could not get out of his head since the day he'd found her in the middle of his hangover.
His smile game involuntarily to his face as she let her hands come next to his cheeks and his own hands came up to hold them. This was a dream, a mere day dream that he had had for a while now. Nothing new, except this time, it felt so much more. That probably because he had just seen her though, just amplified her existence in him once more.
As her face leaned closer, his reactions slowed down. Had he gone this far in his dreams? Had her touch seemed so real against him? Before he knew whether it was real or not, Moko's lips had found his. It took his seconds to reply with his. His left hand tangled in her hair while his free hand wrapped down the small of her back, bringing her closer to him than she already was. Right now, he didn't care about how wet he was from the rain or how the lightning struck near them or the thunder was about to yell over them. All that was in his mind was Moko. He craved for her, from his soul. How could he live without this properly? His heart wouldn't be complete, never complete with his missing pieces scattered across the people he cared and managed to throw away.

 

[Moko Craven]

She had expected him to move away, to push her away but instead the fates were being kind to her. His hands covered hers at first before holding her by the small of her back and curling into her hair. They were pressed tight against one another now, their lips scavenging from the others. The hunger that ripped through her felt in that moment to be equaled by his own. If she dared to belief or hope right then, it was to believe that he did truly care for her. It was to hope that perhaps he would finally see that they were meant to be. A tear drop slid down her face, mingling with the passage of raindrops that had laid claim to the same space. It's salty tang found it's way to the corner of her lip and she became aware once more of the world around them.

Reality was booming about them in the guise of a storm. Was this also fate giving them a sign that all was not meant to be. That as perfect as they might seem for one another in her mind and heart, his warred greatly with it and though perhaps he did care, he denied himself and therefore her as well. As sure as they were standing locked within one another she knew that she could be the best thing that ever happened to him, she would take care of him, protect his heart in the folds of her own. Protect him in the shelter of her soul so that whoever had damaged and wounded him so greatly in his past would never be able to do so again, no one would be able to do so again. But her own heart was much too fragile to issue vows of love and more at that moment. Surrendering herself to this kiss had only been her way of saying a final goodbye. She had to protect herself from the one person who was capable of making her heart cry.

Her mouth broke free of his, her eyes opened and looked at his handsome face. Her long slender fingers touched every inch of that face, every indentation, dimple, laugh and worry lines she consigned to memory.
"I lost myself a long time ago Alex" she whispered to him, " the day I met you".
Moving slowly out of his arms she huddled her robe close to her.
"We could have been amazing together maybe someday you'll see that. You could have made me happy but you wouldn't let yourself" another step backwards as she raised a hand up slowly in a gesture of farewell. This was it then, the final goodbye. She was ready for it now, it would not break her or tear her apart as their previous one. Turning away from him she began to walk away slowly allowing the heavy grey rain to shroud her in it's bleakness and before she took another step, she apparated back to the gates of the academy and out of his life.