Extract I've ruined everything!

[Victoria de Lacey]

Tori walked in the door and honestly she felt exhausted already. Her final days in Hogwarts had not been at all what she had expected and then Esme hadn’t even looked at her since their kiss and now she was pretty sure she’d just really ruined a friendship. She didn’t even know what had happened between Esme and Felix because she couldn’t ask, when she’d gotten up in the morning, she didn’t know if Esme was pretending to be asleep or actually asleep, but she’d taken the early carriages down to Brightstone to go home. She didn’t see the point in waiting if her friend wasn’t going to say goodbye to her and honestly she wasn’t feeling all that great about seeing any of her other friends either - so she was home earlier than her mum would be expecting.

She dropped all of her things by the door the moment she walked in, wandering through the house to find her mum. She checked every room she came across until she reached the dark room, and didn’t even bother to knock as she entered and fell into her mother’s arms, crying. She didn’t know what to do, what to say, or where she was even going to go from this point. She wrapped her arms around her mum’s waist and pressed her face into her shoulder. She’d had a bit of a growth spirt at school clearly, because she wasn’t this tall last time.​

 

[Georgina de Lacey]

Georgina always looked forward to the days her children came home from school. It was the first year for a long time that Rory wouldn’t be the one coming home, it would just be Tori. She stood in her dark room at her home developing a collection of photos she had taken recently. Most were for a recent job, there were a couple that she had taken Marigold the last time she had seen her, she enjoyed taking Marigold’s photo, she was incredibly photogenic and had a beautiful face which she liked looking at.

She was so focused on her work that Georgina didn’t hear the door, she certainly wasn’t expecting Tori home yet as it was much earlier in the day than she usually got home so she was very surprised when the door to her dark room swung open and a much taller Tori flung herself into her arms. Georgina instinctively held her daughter tightly, missing her presence but she knew this was more than a girl missing her mother, something was wrong. “Sweetie what’s wrong?”

 

[Victoria de Lacey]

Tori didn’t answer right away, she couldn’t, she didn’t even know how to. Her throat felt tight and her face was so wet she almost thought she would have left a Tori face shaped mark in her mother’s shirt. How embarrassing. She hated crying like this and yet she couldn’t stop herself. She hated that she couldn’t hold it in, couldn’t make it make sense. All she could do was hold her mum even tighter, and she barely knew how to deal with the things she was dealing with. Why had she decided it was a good idea to leave the school? To kiss Esme? To kiss Felix? She’d enjoyed it, really she had, with Felix at least, and a little bit with Esme too, but she wasn’t into Esme, she wasn’t even sure she was interested in Felix that way, only that it had felt nice when she’d kissed him. And so her fingers curled up into her mum’s shirt, like maybe this would keep her from falling to pieces.

Eventually she pulled away with a muffled, cracked-by-crying voice. “Everything’s just so… messed up.” She tried to wipe her face with the back of her hand, though she felt like maybe this wasn’t quite how she wanted it to go. “I thought I was doing the right thing, Mum. I thought leaving would help. I thought maybe I could come back and things would be better, or clearer, or something, but I don’t think I fixed anything, and I think I just ruined more stuff instead.” Could she even tell her mum? She’d probably be terribly disappointed. Tori was already terribly disappointed in herself. She told herself she would have an amazing time and never cry about the school, she said she would have a better time there than her mum so her mum wouldn’t miss her so much. She’d royally screwed that up, hadn’t she?

The way Esme had looked at her - or rather, refused to look at her - had killed her a little inside. One of her best friends. “I kissed Esme. And now she won’t even talk to me. I don’t know if I made it all up in my head or if I just made everything worse or if she’s mad or scared or-” she buried her head in her mum’s shoulder again, deeper than last time. “And I kissed Felix too… he was her boyfriend and then she didn’t even tell me they broke up! And what if it was my fault - I kissed them both so it’s not my fault right?” She would feel terrible if she knew it was her fault, she hadn’t meant for it to happen at all. Felix had just happened, but Esme… well Esme had kissed her first so… Merlin, she hated this whole thing. “I don’t even know if I’m heartbroken or just… humiliated.” Another sniff. “Probably both.” And now she was just taking off and heading to another country for a semester… was that enough time for things to die down? She doubted it.​