Into Something Wonderful

[Stefan Archer]

Stefan couldn't quite believe his life most of the time, it was so strange to him that this was what his life had become, he was a married man, he was twenty-four, he had a job, a future, and nothing was causing him as much pain as it had once done. The former slytherin had been in a state of disbelief about his life for a good few years, it just seemed impossible that this was his life, after the first sixteen years of it had just been filled with all the terrible things it had been filled with. Sometimes parts of him believed he'd actually just died at fourteen and this was his after life in some twisted way. But, that wasn't the case this was just his life and Stefan could hardly believe it, there were just moments where he sat back usually when he was working in the library, or sitting with Lydia and he just was reminded about how good things were. Waking up to Kate by his side every single morning was another gift, watching her get ready to teach her class, just watching as she did what she excelled at, their simple little life suited them both, and Stefan had more now than he'd ever had in his life. The only thing they seemed to lack to most people were children, but this wasn't a huge concern of Stefan's, the thought of children scared him more than a little. He didn't want to turn out like his father, so kids in his mind weren't on the table, and he wasn't sure how Kate felt about that. Perhaps it was a discussion to put on to the table but for now, the librarian was just happy to be returning home from work, keen to get started on the cooking for dinner, and eager to see his wife.

As was expected with his shift that day, Stefan was home first, while he had slightly different working hours than Kate did, and occasionally he worked pretty late, if he worked early then he finished up before she did. The man entered the home which they shared and called out to her with a cheery tone, but it was obvious by the stillness of the home that he was the only one here. He hung up his jacket and slipped off his shoes, heading straight into the kitchen. Stefan rolled up his sleeves as he began looking through the cupboards for something to eat, he had no problems cooking, and no problems rolling up his sleeves like he was doing. After the incident in the Borely Mansion, and with that man who worked on the library floor, the man had decided to seek professional help just to be able to come to terms with what he had experienced, Stefan had never thought about doing that, but he knew it would help him. It had also done that in the short time he'd been going, he felt the difference, and he preferred it to always burdening Kate with it whenever it cropped up though he knew that she really didn't mind. Stefan just needed to do this, he felt like he had to, so that was exactly what he was doing, he knew if he wanted to have kids he really needed to face some of the things which had happened to him, be able to admit how afraid he was of becoming like him. As he heard the key in the door, a smile crept on to his face, Kate was home. He had found all he wanted to for the dinner and had begun the process of getting it ready though Stefan wanted to go greet her, he decided that he would focus on dinner and give her a little space to just be able to get herself settled.
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[Kate Archer]

Kate sank into her chair behind her desk. She closed her eyes for a few seconds and breathed out. Dealing with four and five year olds for the duration of a school day was never easy. It was a constant struggle but Kate loved every minute of it. Seeing their little faces light up when they wanted to show her something or when she rewarded them.September was upon them and Kate was very busy with school. This year she was in charge of the youngest year of the school. She loved them all. It was a difficult time for them. They were starting school, being away from their parents. It was scary and Kate made it her mission to make sure everyone settled in. This in turn took a lot of hard work. Attempting to control over thirty four-five year old was no easy task. It was why she enjoyed her evenings at home so much. She liked just being able to relax with her husband. Speaking of husbands, she couldn't wait to see Stefan. It had been a long day today. Many students had not settled in yet so things weren't running as smoothly as usual. Kate hated when they started to cry or were unhappy. She did all she could to salvage the stuation. She knew that if she ever had kids she would be the exact same. She hated seeing people in general cry but especially children. It was why she loved it when they laughed or when she knew they were enjoying school. She never realised she would enjoy teaching as much as she did. But she was glad she had chosen this path in life.

Kate hurridly collected her notes and copies and packed her bag. She couldn't wait to get home . Idly she wondered what it would be like to be going to home to not just Stefan but also children. Ever since she had begun working in an actual school her mind had wandered to the subject more often. She knew Stefan was scared at the idea of children and she could see why but perhaps she could broach the subject . She wasn't in any mad rush but she would like to know how he felt. Kate had apparated and found herself outside the home she shared with Stefan . She hoped Stefan was at home and wasn't working late. She just wanted a early night in. As soon as she opened the door , her face broke into a smile. She could smell dinner cooking . She almost ran into the kitchen but instead, she let her bags down on the floor and hung up her jacket. She stood at the entrance to the kitchen and leaned against the door frame. She watched as Stefan prepared dinner. Her heart swelled, it was moments like this she realised how lucky she was. She walked up behind him and put her arms around his waist, she kissed him on the cheek befre resting her face on his shoulder "Evening"

 

[Stefan Archer]

Hearing the door open, and knowing that Kate was finally home brought a bright smile to his face, he could hardly wait to just sit with her and spend the time with her. It was always good at the end of the day when they both arrived home and were able to spend time with each other, Stefan always found himself smiling at the thought, and even more so when he saw her, but for now he was focused on the food in front of him, it wasn't too much for him to take care of, Stefan had found in the years following his father that he actually really liked cooking, and it was something that he was relatively good at too, so coming home to make dinner just made all of the sense to him. He liked the challenge and he enjoyed the monotony of it, something about it was just good about it. It brought him a strange calm, and the fact it meant that after a long day Kate wouldn't have to worry about it then that was better, he wanted her to just be able to relax, so the little he could do to help was definitely for the better. The librarian continued to prepare the food, just off in his own little world as he prepared the food, knowing that Kate would come in to the room when she was ready, and he knew that there wasn't much left to do in terms of cooking so he was thankful she wouldn't have to wait too long before being able to eat.

When her arms snaked around his waist, he felt himself smile, long before such a move from her wouldn't made Stefan flinched, or jump if taken too much by surprise, but he had definitely grown used to her, used to her touch to their closeness, this was at least a good thing. He smiled when she kissed him on the cheek and then rested against his shoulder, he continued doing what he was doing, "Evening," he replied quietly with a small smile, slowing down his movement to not jostle her too much, "Good day?" he asked her with a small smile, waiting for her response, still preparing the dinner for the two of them, he glanced at his watch and calculated how long it would take for this food to finish being ready, it wouldn't be too long as it turned out. He leaned into Kate slightly, there was nothing like the comfort of his wife to finish the evening, "Shouldn't be too much longer, all we need to do is set the table and by the time that's done, this should be all finished," he told her when he'd finished speaking, he leaned out of the hug and then turned to face her, kissing her on the lips briefly before just leaning out and smiling at her. Pulling away he went over to the sink and washed his hands, before getting out the plates for them, and handing them to Kate so that she could help him set the table, "Anything interesting happen in school for you today?" he asked, as they set the table.
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[Kate Archer]

Kate loved coming home in the evenings to a welcoming home. The lights were on and it looked lived in, it looked loved. She loved coming home to see Stefan and be with him. When her day at school was a nightmare and nothing was going right she just took a moment and thought about when she got home and the lovely dinner that would be waiting for her. It calmed her and helped her cope with the imminent drama. Altough Kate did enjoy cooking somewhat, Stefan preferred it. She did like to make desserts when she could and whenever she was home first she would make somehing . Kate was a bit clutzy when it came to correct measurements and reading instructions. It had to lead to some disasters in the past which was why she was glad Stefan really liked cooking. She liked to think she brought other things to their relationship. This thought reminded her of something else . She mentally made a note to bring it up with Stefan at dinner.

Kate smiled "Twas a grand day" She replied holding him close. His movements as he made the dinner were oddly soothing but when he spoke again she relaxed her hold. She loved being this close and she could stand here all day but there was things to be done. "Can't wait"She said grinning before he kissed her. She wanted to pull him in but her stomach made a load rumbling noise. "Definitely can't wait"She mumbled looking down at her stomach before taking the plates Stefan handed her. She then got the knives and forks and began setting the table. "Other then trying to help adorable ,crying kids settle into school?" She asked frowing slightly "No, pretty average"She shrugged smiling again. "You?"She asked getting the glasses.

 

[Stefan Archer]

The work at the school was fairly easy, he didn't really struggle with any of it, but while others would've tried to move on to bigger and better things, Stefan had always been really happy with his work, and what he did, and this then translated to him being settled enough to not want to move on. Perhaps this was just part of his comfort zone he rarely stepped out of, but the man always reasoned that growing up like he had, that much just made sense for him to do. He liked the way that it gave him time to be with his lovely wife, to settle in his home, to visit his aunt and uncle. See his cousin, and still spend time, making sure that everything remained good. The man had never been so settled in his life, and while for most at the ripe age of twenty-four it would be something to avoid, the turbulence of early life had meant this stability was something he really did need. Having Kate leaning against him, it felt as much like home as the walls and roof of this building they stood in did. He loved cooking for them, he loved watching her bake and enjoying the results after. Stefan could finally understand his father in one way, he loved his wife so much, he could understand how devastated his father must've felt when he'd lost his wife, Stefan could not imagine greater pain and he had known great pain.

Nodding at her statement he could only wonder what a day with lots of little children was like, he had the joy of never having to worry about that, since all the kids which ventured into his library were older than eleven, but this didn't mean they didn't leave a mess, it just meant they didn't have the same chaos as a younger, much younger set of students might. He kissed her happily, and nodded at her statement, laughing lightly at the rumbling of her stomach, "I guess, I'm glad its almost ready, don't want to leave that hunger to grow," he told her with a smile and slight laugh before handing the plates to her, as he focused on the last bits and pieces of the dinner, fetching a fresh bottle of water from the fridge and placing it on the table for them. He nodded at her words, "How many cried today?" he knew that settling kids into school was difficult from the stories she told about it, he of course had no experience of it, the kids who cried in his library rarely did so because they weren't settled into school, generally because for some boarding school was hard, and for others for various other reasons. At the return of her question he just shrugged, "Not really, Lydia stopped by during her lunch hour, but apart from that fairly normal," often his little cousin came to join him at lunch, and he was always happy for the company. He glanced at the food, and decided it was ready, "Alright," he elongated the word and as he placed the food on to the table and served them both, placing the pot back onto the counter once he was done serving. He smiled happily as he sat down, "Bon appetit," he said before beginning himself, "As much as work hasn't been that bad at all, I'm really glad for the weekend off,"
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[Kate Archer]

Kate had never really imagined her life would be settled by twenty-four. If she was in Ireland she would probably be just finished college. She counted herself lucky though. She had a wonderful job, husband, home. She really couldn't ask for much more in life. Unfortunately with work, Kate sometimes let the work load overwelm her. This led to her being crabby and resulted in her taking her stress out on those around her. Of all people Stefan didn't deserve to endure her moodiness so she tended to go on long walks. This helped her calm down and remember why she was so lucky and that life wasn't so bad. Singing and baking also helped to the extent that sometimes there was seven or eight batches of cookies, buns etc littered throughout the kitchen. Sometimes it helped to wrap her arms around Stefan and just breath him in. There were few people in Kate's life that calmed her like her husband did. Albit sometimes it took her a few minutes to realise.

Kate had never been great with small kids when she was younger .She had found them cute and liked to play with them for a little while but only for so long. But when she left Hogwarts and was wondering what on earth she wanted to do with her life she was suddenly inspired. Now despite the stress she loved it. She also loved when Stefan laughed, she loved seeing a smile on his face. "Yum" She said, finishing setting the table. "Too many"She said with a sigh. It was to be expexted but it still hurt to see them cry. "How is Lydia?"Kate asked smiling, sitting down. She loved Stefan's cousins. Lydia was a dote and Tybalt was a cutie. She remembered the day she first met Tybalt. How things had changed since then. "Looks delicious"She said rubbing her hands together with anticipation. One of the perks of being a teacher was generally having the weekends off. Of course she often had work to do. "So am I"She said grinning beginning to eat. It would be nice to spend the weekend together .

 

[Stefan Archer]

Stefan couldn't help but smile as it appeared that she was enjoying his food, he obvious took pride in what he did and it was nice to know that she was enjoying it. The man couldn't help but be glad of how settled his wife look, of how at home in this perfect little routine she was. Stefan had never expected such a thing with his life and having it was amazing. He couldn't sometimes believe it, and he couldn't help but laugh at her comment about too many, having never been to any school before Hogwarts he had no idea if this was really normal for kids or if it just happened to be the children that she was teaching. He knew she did everything right in her job, maybe the kids just really hated being left by their parents and got upset easily when at school, "Is it normal for them to be crying?" he asked genuinely curious about the children and in what Kate might have to add on the matter, "Must be hard," he shrugged a little when he said this, knowing that in his own experience of crying children that it was not an easy thing to actually deal with.

"Lydia's good, she likes Hogwarts a lot, likes helping me in the library," he told Kate with a small smile thinking of his little cousin and how much he enjoyed the time they spent together, he couldn't help but wonder if this would've been the same with Ty had he been younger at the time they'd met. He loved both his cousins, they were his family, and he treasured them. He nodded as they both sat down at the table, he dug into his own food and smiled as she dug into hers, it was definitely nice to have the weekend off, he didn't always had that kind of time off just because of the nature of his work and the constant nature of the library, but he didn't mind it, and he treasured the time he spent with her even more of it because of it. He wondered perhaps if there was anything that she wanted to do during the weekend, he wanted to be able to spend time with her doing what she wanted to do, "Do you want to do something this weekend?" He asked her between bites with a small smile as he spoke, wondering if she did want to do anything, because no matter what she wanted to do, he knew he would likely do it.
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[Kate Archer]

Kate shrugged, it depended. Some children took the transition from home to primary school quite well. They liked the new experiences and making new friends. Some also loved to learn. But unfortunately many of them missed their parents and just didn't like the schedule of school or not having the free time. So they cried or made trouble. There were a lot of younger students this year and Kate reasoned this was why more were crying or upset. A lot of people never understood the overwheliming sense of gratification a teacher gets when they see their students grow and learn. Or in this case just actually enjoying going to school. "Well it depends. A lot of them are quite young starting this year"She said sighing. Kate nodded at her husband "It's horrible"She admitted but then smiled "It's worth it though. Although parents can be just as bad when it comes to leaving their kids in school for the first time"She said thoughtfully. Both mothers and fathers sometimes lingered for much longer than necessary. "I don't know how I will be in that situation with our own kids. I mean, from my perspective I know it is better when parents don't linger but still.."She said sighing once more. She didn't know if she could leave her child if they were crying even though she knew the consequences.

Kate smiled. She was very happy Stefan found a job he really loved. She was almost jealous that his job was in Hogwarts. Although she had bad memories there she really missed it . As she lived with Stefan obviously there was magic used in the house but it was almost strange not using it at work. When she left Hogwarts she didn't think she would have missed using magic in a profession but she was wrong. She did use it in the workplace but obviously not in front of the 'muggles'. "That's great"She said grinning. It was good Lydia and Stefan spent time together. She was forever grateful that they had reached out to Stefan. It had all worked out for the better. Kate started eating the dinner and grinned when she tasted her first bite. As usual it was delicious. Kate contemplated Stefan's suggestion. She didn't have much preperation work to do for next week and she could possible start this evening . "Yeah, that would be lovely"She said smiling slightly. "Any suggestions?"She asked, taking a drink.

 

[Stefan Archer]

Having never experienced primary school or really been in a situation where being left at school with someone who might want to linger, Stefan had a little bit of difficulty wrapping his head around the difficulties which were faced by parents, he knew if given the situation in which he had gone to primary school and it had been up to his father to leave him, his father would've dumped him at the school gates and then left his father had never particularly cared and Stefan knew that he would've preferred that, and he wouldn't have really missed his father like the other kids in this hypothetical classroom. He didn't miss how she talked of their own children, and Stefan just looked down at his own food on the plate in front of him, children, it was such a loaded question to him. He knew that Kate wanted children, or he imagined that she did, and he was definitely interested in being a parent but his own experience of parents, of the biological kind and the people who had said they were going to, wasn't particularly positive. Stefan never thought that he or Kate would ever be like that, but there was no denying the fear in the back of his mind about it. He could never imagine being like his father, it was such a horrible thought in his mind but Stefan knew that he was his father's son and surely that made him as capable of it as his father had been.

Stefan had never really brought it up with Kate his own fears about children but he was sure that Kate knew about them, or at least had some clue about them, she had experienced his nightmares, his own fears about it weren't particularly hidden when you thought about it. It would make sense for Stefan to have such a fear with children, and especially children of his own, he was far calmer and older than his parents had been when he'd been born but it didn't change anything about it, he could still occasionally remember his anger in his own youth and new he was as capable of being angry like his father. He just felt so certain that despite any anger he would never do what his father had done to him, so he tried to push the thoughts from his head as she continued speaking, they would definitely do something with the weekend, it would just take a matter of discussing what they could do, he wanted to do something he was sure, something away from the house and the stresses of their life, "We could go to the seaside?" he suggested with a small shrug, clearing his throat before he spoke, "The weather's getting warmer, might be quite nice," Stefan smiled at Kate, he was sure that they could have a nice time at the seafront it would be something nice to do with the weekend.
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[Kate Archer]

Kate realised her mistake as she saw Stefan drop his head. She bit her lip hesitantly . She knew he was worried, and she could see why he would be. He had never experienced love from a parent so it was a whole new ball game having kids of your own. It was a scary concept even for Kate but for different reasons. The whole idea of carrying another human being inside her for nine months seemed utterly ridiculous and strange. What if something happened? She was clumsy as it is. If she did have a child she knew it was entirely possible for her to become so overly cautious that she would never leave the house for fear of something happening.And that was only the beginning. She couldn't begin to imagine what it was like to see your child for the first time. To hold them the first time. But Kate was rushing ahead and overthinking things. Stefan was clearly uncomfortable with the subject. She wanted to apologise but she didn't want to bring attention to the fact so instead she put her hand on his. She knew in her heart that ,should Stefan become a Dad he would be a wonderful father. She would just have to convince him of that fact.

Kate's grin widened. That was a great idea.She loved the beach, she especially loved the sea. He was right, the weather would be lovely. The wonders of wizardering travel meant they could go to literally any beach around the world but Kate had no particular suggestions. The beaches in New Zealand were lovely. In many ways New Zealand was quite similar to Ireland. However she did not fancy going for a swim in Ireland at this time of the year. It was very rarely you could spend a warm day at the beach there during the summer never mind the middle of winter. They could maybe explore wherever they went to the beach also. Usually they were fairly touristy towns and Kate loved exploring new places. "That would be lovely! I'd love to go to the beach" She said happily before eating some more of her husband's yummy dinner. "Do you have any place in particular in mind?" She asked smiling at him.

 

[Stefan Archer]

With that all decided the following day, the librarian woke himself up fairly early and managed to spend most of the early parts of the morning gathering up all they would need for this day, he didn't have to gather too much but he took time preparing the food and the then getting all the other little bits and pieces ready for this day. The man didn't take longer preparing that and then he'd changed into beach type clothing to wear for this occasion, he didn't have as many issues now as he'd previously had with exposing skin on his arms and legs, he usually still kept his t-shirt on when in public but for the most part the many had far fewer issues when it came to that sort of thing now than he'd had before. As soon as he was ready, Stefan checked on Kate who was getting herself ready for this day, and when all was finally together and they were ready the go, the man, grabbed his wand and then with his arm around Kate apparated to the beach frequented largely by other witches and wizards, rarely did muggles ever venture to this beach which was why he had felt safe in apparating without having given it much thought.

Once he removed his arm around Kate he just lightly took her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers and smiling at her, walking across the sand to an empty enough spot. He lay down the blanket and then just sat down. Taking off his shoes and socks to let his feet delve into the sand, it was always a lovely feeling, "We got lucky with the weather then," the man said brightly as he lay down on the sand, the sound of children laughing entered his ears, clearly a distance away but it was still a fairly lovely sound, he could only look at Kate and smile at her, feeling so satisfied in that moment with their little life, with their little life. Thoughts of his past completely void in his mind, just focusing on the now with her and how amazing this all was. Her beauty and the feeling of home he got when around her. That was all he want right now in his life, he had more than he could've ever wished for and it really was to his just perfect, his mind couldn't find a reason to ruin or complicate it.
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[Kate Archer]

Kate woke up the next morning and grinned when she realised where they were going. She quickly got up and looked out the window. Thankfully the early morning sun was shinning, promising a glorious day ahead. She loved the beach and she was looking forward to going swimming. She had always loved the sea as a child. She could have jumped over the waves for hours when she was around two years of age. She hadn't spent a day on the beach in a while and it would be nice to just relax with Stefan. She could worry about her corrections tomorrow. Today was all about relaxing. But first , she had to get ready. She heard Stefan preparing the food in the kitchen. She quickly put on her swimming gear before throwing on a summer dress over it. She then got the little bits and pieces needed for the day and her wand. When Stefan came in , she put her arm around him and they headed for the beach.

Once they arrived, Kate immediately breathed in the smell of the sea. How she loved that smell. She looked up at Stefan and smiled as her hand intwined with hers. They soon found a spot and after laying down the blanket they sat down. Kate took off her shoes gazed out at the sea. The sun was beating down and Kate basked in the heat. Kate looked at Stefan when he spoke. She smiled widely "We sure did"She agreed. This was a beautiful moment. It made her appreiate even more her life. She didn't know where she would be without Stefan. In the distance she could hear children laughing. With out even thinking her head turned towards the sound. Her thoughts flew back to yesterday evening at dinner. The excitment at having their wn children hit her full force. "I can't wait until we can bring our own kids to the beach"She said excitedly looking back at Stefan.

 

[Stefan Archer]

It was nice, Stefan realised to be able to spend so much time with Kate in such a lovely manner, the sun shone and the beach was lovely and warm, nothing that was too horrible and enough that he wouldn't get cold, or even too hot considering that Stefan wasn't about to remove his t-shirt despite all his recent confidence there was still a certain element off taking his t-shirt in public which he couldn't do. The librarian just watched as Kate lay down next to him and he couldn't help the huge grin which crossed his face, oh this was just perfect, Stefan couldn't believe how perfect certain elements of his life were. He nodded at her agreement, settling in the sun listening to the sound of the beach and there was just so much of his life which he couldn't believe would ever be true and really this was just it, the simplicity of the situation was far beyond anything Stefan could've ever imagined for himself. But, it was Kate's words which brought him back to reality and a little out of his own bliss and really he knew it was pointless to change her mind on it, Kate loved children, it was just a pity that Stefan didn't want any.

For so long the librarian had thought he might want some, that he would enjoy being able to raise kids with Kate to see a child or children with the elements of the two of them within them, but Stefan couldn't understand it, he didn't want to be like his father and the only way to ensure that was to never have any children. Stefan gave a small sigh as he met her gaze he didn't want to disappoint her but he didn't want to risk his own children having the same problems as him, he didn't want to end up like his father and he didn't want his kids to have to struggle every day, he never wanted them to even experience a fraction of what he'd gone through. The man sat up slightly, "Kate, kids are a bad idea," he said a little quietly knowing how much such a phrase might disappoint her, "What if I'm just like my father? I don't want to ever be like him," Stefan glanced away from Kate and out at the ocean as memories see to come to his mind like waves, "I can't,"
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[Kate Archer]

Kate scooted closer to Stefan so they were lying , arms touching on the blanket. She just lay there, completely content. She closed her eyes and she absent-mindedly began twirling her hair. She loved the feeling of the sand in between her toes. She had a sudden urge to build a sandcastle. It had been years since she had even attempted one. It would be cute if herself and Stefan build a sandcastle together, since she figured the last time she made one had been with Sara, Star and Ryan. Kate sighed. She hadn't spoken to her siblings in a while, she sometimes just got caught up with work and spending time with Stefan. She made a mental note to give Sara a call soon.

The idea that Stefan wouldn't want children had never really entered Kate's brain. Sure she knew he was afraid at the prospect. It was a scary thought with out adding the pressure of his past. But if Kate ever thought Stefan wouldn't be capable as a father she would never be as blatant as she was about having children. In fact she would never have even mentioned it. The fact he wouldn't be able to be a Dad wouldn't have stopped her from loving him or marrying him. But this was different in that Kate knew Stefan could be a Dad. Obviously it wouldn't be easy but she knew with all her heart that he would be a great Father. She sat up and looked at him. She gentle turned his head so that he was looking at her instead of out to the sea, no doubt the memories flooding back."You will never be like your father"She said , taking both of his hands in hers. "I know with all my heart that you will be a loving, caring and wonderful Dad" She said looking at him earnestly "I think because of the fact you suffered what you did means you could never do that to your own child." She almost whispered. "If I ever thought you would treat our children like your Dad, I would never have discussed having children in the first place" She added. "And finally there is no one else on this earth I would trust more to have children with."She said smiling slightly

 

[Stefan Archer]

Laying so close to Kate had been the best kind of feeling, but without the ability to express how he felt about his worries with children, how he loved seeing them, and thought of them as amazing but really didn't know if he could ever have any, Kate was the most beautiful person in the world to him, and he wanted to give her everything, he wanted to give her a baby but he didn't know if he was ever going to be ready for it. Stefan just sighed especially when she seemed to hear what he was saying but think the exact opposite to be true, who was he to ever deny her of such a thing, but really Stefan was just so afraid and he didn't ever want to disappoint her like he might if he turned out like his father, he didn't want to continue that cycle. Stefan tried to stop the memories by instead the thing which stopped them was looking at Kate, seeing her face and remembering everything with her. Everything they'd ever done together and all the memories they had created since they'd gotten together, he thought of her in the beautiful wedding dress and even just that morning.

Hearing her words though did nothing, he wanted her to be able to have children but he feared it so bad he didn't know how to say that he thought it might never be possible for them, he couldn't understand most days why his father had done what he'd done to him, and he felt incapable of ever doing that to anyone else, but he thought she was misguided that she meant well, but he didn't know how to say that it didn't matter if she thought of all of this, he was sure his mother had too and that really hadn't worked out. Stefan ran a hand down the side of her face and sigh, "But, Kate, what if something happens and I become like him," he let out a long sigh, "I don't want to lose you and then end up like him, badly treating our children, I don't want to let you down," he knew he was talking in pure hypotheticals, but in his mind knowing it had happened before made it so obvious that it might happen again, and he knew he would never be able to live with himself he did that, Stefan didn't drink for exactly that reason, but circumstances change, "I just don't know if I can Kate," he shook his head at her, the smile gone from his face, "I don't want to ever run the risk of letting you down, or hurting anyone,"
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[Kate Archer]

It was quite fascinating how your parents shaped your values , your personality and so many other aspects of your life. They were your first teachers, to you they knew everything. They were everything.You copy so much of their mannerisms. People always say "Oh you are so like your mother/father" . When you are small, you believe everything believe. It is not until you get older and you make friends that this changes. You listen and experience new views and opinions. You also realise your parents don't know everything. They know what they know but the majority of them make it their business to appear like they know everything just for you. If you have a loving parent/s who try their best for you, life will more then likely be good. But when that went wrong. If you don't experience that love, that protectionism, it will affect you. Kate could never understand how someone could treat their child with disdain. It was horrible if a parent driven by such drastic circumstances turned against their children. But it was no the case for everyone, you didn't always turn out like your parents either.

She could see her words hadn't sunk in. She knew every facial expression, every movement of Stefan's.She could also see how scared he was. It broke her heart to see him like this. She wished sometimes he could see himself from her eyes so he would realise how special and wonderful he was. She listened as he confessed how and why he felt like he did. "But Stefan, why do you think you would turn out like him?" She asked "I know he was your Dad but we aren't always like our parents"She added. "In the end, we decide who we are and how we act" She didn't want to push him, that had no ended well in second year and she just didn't like causing this inner turmoil but she couldn't let this one go easily. "Plus this is all hypothetical, you know we can't live our lives based on hypothetical situations"She said putting her arm around his waist and putting her head on his shoulder. "I don't want to push you on this and I understand where you are coming from but I know with all my heart,"She said putting his hand over her heart "That you wouldn't hurt our children if God forbid something happened". She then put her hand over his on his heart "And although I never knew your Dad, I know you are a much better person than him in so many ways, including in regards to children" She looked up at him. "I love you Stefan and raising a family with you would be the most wonderful, fantastic thing on this planet"She said smiling widely "The idea of hearing little voices calling us in the morning and hearing them run around the house and just the thought of holding them, knowing you are your whole world is amazing, and sharing that with you would be so special"

 

[Stefan Archer]

The man had known that Kate would likely react in such a fashion, they were married for a reason, she was usually able to pick out what he was about to say and counter it, she usually picked up when he was about to head down a path of old memories and annoyance. The librarian knew that would be what it took for such a thing. He just needed to let it happen, in his experience letting the memories take over did nothing to help but he usually just let his fears conduct what he did. He usually let himself avoid what he needed to avoid so that he could continue to be content and at ease, but kids, kids was just something else, because he did want them, Stefan wanted children a lot, he wanted nothing more than to give Kate a baby, to have their own little family but he was so afraid of it going wrong, of losing Kate of giving the child the same condition as him, of forcing the child to live with such deficits as he'd done. He just didn't want to repeat that, he didn't want to repeat anything that had happened to him, but he feared it would, "Because I'm sure he never intended to act like he did when he thought about having kids," the man sighed, holding on to the idea that somewhere inside his father had been a good man, even if the truth was stacked against him.

Listening to her speak though, he knew she was right, kate had that ability to just be right about things, and knowing what to say to make him agree with her. He didn't want to make her unhappy and he knew that kids would be right for them, but it didn't stop his fear. it didn't stop how scared he felt at the mere thought of ever being in a situation where he'd hurt his child. He agreed with her, he just didn't know if he could. Stefan reached out and took her hand in his, "I don't want to ever hurt children, but with the kind of father I had, am I not more likely to," he tried to reason but he sighed, brushing away the memories of his father which came as an onslaught to his brain. He shook his head and then looked to Kate, the sound of sound of little feet in the halls of their house, and holding on to something that was equal parts him and her was the most amazing thought in his head but he didn't want to ruin it, he didn't want to destroy it or become as bad as his father had been. The librarian glanced out at the sea, "I want that, I do, I just don't know how ready I am," he gave a small sigh, "We don't rush in, but we could start trying?" he ventured quietly, not wanting to commit to children right away but implying that he wouldn't stop it should it happen. Perhaps only when he'd had the children would he actually be less afraid of anything and everything going wrong.
​

 

[Kate Archer]

Kate had learned the hard way that sometimes pushing people just isn't the right way to go. During second year her friends and herself went about gaining Stefan's trust all wrong. Every time it was almost like an attack. He didn't react appropriately either mind you. But Kate remembered that moment at Halloween with both her legs tied together by her twin. Willow at this point had run off extremely upset and angry and nothing was going right. She realised, there was no point. It was hopefully the couldn't force the information out of him and by doing so they were just creating void. It had already caused so much pain. Kate's reaction to Stefan's attitude at the beginning had been a mixture of many different things. She regretted it now but she had found out quite a few things about herself at the time. Plus it gave her an insight into how to deal with Stefan. She was glad she had backed off as Stefan did eventually realise we weren't going to go away easily and we were sticking by his side. Now as she looked at her husband, she appreciated once more how lucky she was and how much he had grown since then.

Kate held him closer. She wasn't sure what she thought of Stefan's Dad. It was hard to see past the abuse but she liked to think he was a kind and happy man. It was terrible how the loss of a loved one had caused him to act the way he did. It wasn't in any way right. And Kate who was usually forgiving and tried to see the best in a person , failed to do so in this instance. But she knew Stefan and he knew many people like himself would feel the same way "I know, you are right but I know you " She said smiling at him. In her heart she knew he wouldn't harm their kids if she wasn't there. Kate just wanted him to see that he could do this and he would be a great Dad. She could see he was struggling with this however. She almost gave in, maybe they could bring it up another time. But then he heard his last sentence and she squealed. She actually squealed but she had thrown herself on Stefan so she now lay on him on the blanket. She kissed him lightly on the lips, grinning. "That's all I neededto hear" She said quietly, smiling. "And of course we don't rush in, we'll take this slow" She said her face growing serious but a small smile still gracing her face. "Baby steps" She whispered

 

[Stefan Archer]

It was part of his mind which always sat on the fence on the issue of children, and really he knew that he wouldn't want kids with anyone but Kate, she was his entire life and he knew that if anyone could raise their children right it would be her, but he didn't want to force his children to lead lives like he'd led. To have to suffer with his eye sight, but he really wanted to be able to share his life with her and to be able to give Kate everything and he knew that children would come up, it hadn't for a while, and he was happy with it, but they were married and it was an envitable conversation, which he'd gladly been away from, the librarian knew that between his work and her studies there had simply been no time for it, but they were more settled, they were together and they had the time. Children had been bound to appear and Stefan could only imagine how perfect Kate would be as a mother, how perfect it would be with her, but those lingering thoughts of his own hell cause by poor parents were just sitting on the front of his mind.

He could still hear the children in the distance and he could only hope that in no circumstances that his kids would ever not be those kind of kids, that they would never have to live through what he'd lived through, that they would never know misery like he had. Stefan smiled at Kate, finding as ever the easy smile for her and knowing that they wouldn't rush anything, that he could trust her in this, that they could be trusted in their decisions. Upon his response admitting that they could work towards it, let it happen if it did, he could help but smile at her reaction, the squeal and throwing herself on top of him, he couldn't help the love he felt for her in that moment, the sheer love he felt for her. He knew that this would be right, that as long as he had Kate that he would be fine, and it would be fine, "Baby steps?" he couldn't help but say and then laughing, Stefan laughed easily and then just leaned in and kissed her lightly on the lips, he was beginning to feel a strange excitement in his stomach thinking of little steps around the house, of a little face, of a little person running around the house excitedly, being playfully chased by himself or Kate, he couldn't help but feel like it was time that house was filled with the laughter of a child or children rather than the memories of Stefan's horrid childhood, "Although if we end up having more than one, we're going to need to extend that house with magic," he commented off handily thinking suddenly of the prospect of many little feet running amok in their home.
​

 

[Kate Archer]

Kate smiled. Although marriage wasn't needed in their case. It was still a nice way to show the world and to prove to themselves the commitment that had to one another. Their wedding day was one of Kate's fondest memories. Walking down that aisle ,seeing Stefan's face. The simplicity of everything from their decorations even to Kate's dress. She sometimes liked to take it out and just look at it, remembering that beautiful day. Although Kids had never been in the forefront of her mind. But as things settled and they got into a routine she started to wonder. Why not have kids? She wanted to be a mam. She had never been are when she was younger would she be any good . But she knew in her heart, together with Stefan's they would do a good job.

She was happy. So happy that he at least conceded to trying. Kate could work with that and she wouldn't push him. No way would she do that. She respected Stefan and though as knew she would be extremely upset . She would have hid it from him though. She would never have let him know. But this, she was extremely happy with this. Hence her squealing. She loved him so much. As she lay there looking down at him she just grinned. She loved him so so much and she didn't let herself even think of the possibility of him not being there. She laughed. Her pun having the desired affect . She loved his laugh, especially such a carefree one. She kissed him back lightly. "Yes Baby steps" she said grinning. Kate's eyes widened at his next sentence. More then just one? That made her heart soar. Kate would love more then one child, she didn't want them to be lonely after all. It would be wonderful to hear the potter patter of small feat and laughter. She cupped his face with his hands "I love you" she said softly "And I don't that will be a problem" she said smiling. She believed the house should hear child's laughter rather then pain

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Fin