I'll Mend Your Breaking Heart

[Sanctuari Ellison]

The house was so quiet, it had been since... Sanctuari spluttered water. She'd let the water in the house run cold. Since the funeral this was the first time she'd been able to bring herself away from Zander long enough to shower. The Ecuadorian native shivered, now fully realizing that she was feeling ice cubes beating her tanned skin. The brunette shut the water off quickly, her chest tight for a moment, shocked by the lack of chill. She looked at the floor of the shower with a frown, watching squiggling hairs make their way to the drain. How could someone so young go so fast? Abby had really been a joy and now... Sanctuari shook her head slightly.

Stepping from the shower she looked in the mirror - which had lacked steam considering the chill of her shower. The brunette got dressed slowly, looking in the tiredness of her own eyes. She'd spent every moment since the young girls passing by Zander's side - making sure he was okay, drinking water, eating if she could make him. Sanctuari knew he was in pain. No one should ever have to lose someone the way Zander has. He's lost too many, even Sanctuari couldn't understand the loss of a child. Spouse yes, child no. The girl moved into the room once dressed to look at Zander. "Zander?" She questioned softly. "Are... you hungry?" Though she didn't know if he'd even answer her. "I can make us something?" She offered.

 

[Zander Ellison]

It was near impossible for Zander to find any words, it had happened so quickly, it had felt worst than any loss he had ever felt and Zander had dealt with a fair amount of loss in his lifetime. It didn't make sense to him with it had had to be her, why he hadn't been more careful, when he hadn't pushed harder against her learning to fly but she hadn't been the first person he'd help teach to fly, she was just the first who had fallen and due to the fall passed on. He couldn't take it, every moment he had since then had been filled with the silent tears than rushed down his face but following the funeral and the finality of it, Zander hadn't said a word, he just couldn't find the words, he could form the sentence, he had just gotten changed and sat down, unmoving, unwilling to eat, unwilling to do anything, the nagging voice in his head telling him just how truly useless he was, that it was all his fault. he had killed her, he was responsible for her death. The man did feel anything anymore, it had just all stopped and he would gladly just sit and wait for the inevitable to happen to him because that was all that he deserved.

The sadness the pour out of him filled every aspect of his being, he sat deflated in the seat, staring blankly ahead, unable to get himself to move, cold cups of tea sat before him, the thin layer of dust gathering in the house. He knew that Sanctuari was in the house but he couldn't find the words, she had been great, providing him with support and just being there, but there was nothing that could console him. His daughter was dead and it was his fault, he didn't deserve her love and attention, he didn't want to lose her too, and given his track record he was definitely about it. He couldn't think straight, he couldn't manage to do anything. Everything seemed like an impossibly pointless task, he heard her voice call his name, asking him if he wanted anything to eat but he didn't respond, just sat blankly eventually looking up at her and silently shaking his head, he didn't want to eat, he didn't want to do anything, he just wanted to sit in silence, he didn't have any words to say, he didn't want to do anything right now. Zander just glanced back in front of him and seemed to deflate even further, slouching in his seat and staring at the wall in front barely caring for anything. never before had his lack of motivation been this high.
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[Sanctuari Ellison]

Sanctuari had thought that the loss of her husband was the most painful thing that could have happened. They'd not been together long but she'd loved him with everything that she'd ever had. Then Zander came into Ri's life, and things were happy for a while. Then the loss of Abby struck them from no where. The brunette woman knew he'd recover slowly but watching Zander recover was painful. Watching him sit and stare made her heart ache and her eyes flood with water. There was something so terrible that she couldn't put her finger on, but perhaps it was that she wanted so badly to see him smile again. Ri felt that was selfish though, and had yet to try and produce a smile.

Sanctuari came to his side and sat, putting an arm around him and putting her head on his shoulder. What was she supposed to say? Sanctuari just breathed silently, and looked where he looked. The same walls he'd been looking at since the death. The same walls that would just continue to make him think about this. Sanctuari felt an epiphany. "Let's run away together." She spoke softly. "Let's travel, and see the world, and use the globe as our support, Zander." Sanctuari moved from beside him to in front of him. "Let's go, and stop staring at the same four walls." She spoke softly, tears threatening her thick lashes with their presence.

 

[Zander Ellison]

Sitting in silence was all that Zander could muster, it was all he could find himself able to do, there was nothing that brought him joy anymore, there would be no more laughter in this house, there would be no more joy in it. He could only just be pleased that his parents were no longer here to see how much of a horrible parent Zander had become, everything he did failed, it backfired. His daughter dead was that final part, he was pretty much done, whatever he had hoped to achieve was gone, his life had been one disappointment after the next, the only things that had brought him joy were the siblings that he had steadily lost, and then his daughter. There was nothing in Zander that could muster him to just keep moving forward. He loved Sanctuari, but he couldn't keep going with her, he would just cause her to die too, he would loose her too, and he didn't want her to die just because she had been loyal to him.

His face was completely devoid of emotion, no more tears to spill, no more words to say, just blank. He didn't look at her as she sat down next to him, or when she put her head on his shoulder, he couldn't take it, he couldn't do this any more. Zander listened to the words she spoke, his gaze remaining ahead. Run away together, leave, leave all of this behind. He had nothing left tying him to this house, to this world. Without Abby what meaning did his life have? With Sanctuari things had become easier, the waves of sadness were less severe, he'd begun sleeping better, ever so slightly feeling more motivated for the day as it came, he'd sought out someone to talk to about everything that had happened in his life, his emotions, and it had fallen apart when Abby had died on his watch. Zander glanced around the house, looking at the pictures scattered around the room, maybe it was time to leave it behind, be Zander for a while and not big brother/father/care giver. He'd become so lost in his family and taking care of them for so much of his life, that he had become that, maybe he needed to rediscover who he was. Maybe leaving wouldn't be so bad, everyone else had done it, it would mean he wouldn't have to sit in the cold lifeless house anymore, "Okay," he said carefully, a slight nod of his head, as he glanced down to Sanctuari, nodding once more. His face was still blank, but there was a little hint of life poking at the sides, "Let's go,"
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[Sanctuari Ellison]

Sanctuari watched the cold features on Zander's face as his eyes glanced around the room. There was nothing more upsetting than this moment. How was Sanctuari ro convince Zander that it wasn't his fault, that this was all some horrible joke the universe played. He needed not feel guilty - but she knew he did. Oh how it pained her, her heart beating erratic and slow, craving for her love to at least say something. Then the moment came. Zander's voice was quiet and Sanctuari heard the whispered agreement, her eyes still pleading. Sanctuari squeezed at Zander's hands, her frail ones small in comparison. She stood in her spot and conjured her suitcase and one for him as well. The Honduran woman then moved away to begin packing what she'd need. This of course was difficult. How long would they be gone and where would they stay? What country would they even go to?

Considering the amount of questions it seemed an enchanted suitcase was the only way to go. After all she just needed to get away with Zander, and heal him in the only way she had known to heal herself. She was not running away, but instead finding quiet respite to cope with what had happened to a young girl so full of life - to a girl Ri had considered a daughter after sharing sweet nothings with Zander. The sun was setting by the time she was finished packing everything, by the time she was truly ready. The brunette looked around for a moment, before finding Zander's hand and holding it tight. "I love you." She whispered, waiting for when he was ready, giving him the ability to aparate away with her to wherever life may take them.

 

[Zander Ellison]

The snap decision to leave clouded his mind suddenly with doubt, it certainly couldn't be the right to do, but right now, he couldn't think of any other thing to do. Thinking of leaving this home, of leaving it all was too tempting, it was the first thing that broke through the emptiness of his mind, and the instant he'd agreed, Sanctuari got up and began getting ready, putting their affairs together. The man stood up slowly and began conjuring up boxes and getting all the objects that weren't going to the suitcases being slowly packed up into the boxes, the magic letting the objects fall in perfectly. It didn't take long till the house was bare of all their effects. From one of the photo frames he had removed several pictures to put in his wallet, but aside from that everything else would go into storage until they were ready to come back, he couldn't yet bare to part with it, though the house he didn't intend on keep regardless of when they came back, too memories were held in this house and he needed a fresh start.

It was surprising what people around him were willing to do for him currently, he was able to call up a friend, or well, someone who he'd gotten to know because of his daughter's school, and he agreed to put their affairs into storage and sell the house for him. Of course he would give him the money for it, but it meant they could just leave and he wouldn't have to worry about it. Eventually everything was ready, and he wandered back to where Sanctuari, looking between her and the packed cases, it was the most active he'd been since it had happened, he took her hand and gave it a little squeeze. The man took a moment to shrink the suitcases into a manageable and small size, enough to just easily carry. He took the keys and placed them on top the box where his friend could come in and organise the house for them. He was ready, he was ready to just take a leap of faith, he was ready to try something new, Zander knew that travelling wouldn't bring back any of what he'd lost, but he was looking to find something new, to learn to enjoy the moment, look forward and not be stuck in the past, to be stuck in a constant state of worry, "I love you too," he told her as he turned on the spot and apparate out of the house and out of his old life with his love by his side.

Fin
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