I Will Be

[Stefan Archer]

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As it turned out, for the very time something was seemingly going his way. It was the very first time since getting that first letter that the feeling of hopelessness did not exist. That since everything that had happened to him over the past few years was going to be excused by this one ray of light. In all honesty, for the colourblind teen he would be okay with it. That his one ray of light would always be Hogwarts. it didn't matter if his home life took another turn in the opposite direction. That it didn't go how it was meant to, as long as he always got to go back to Hogwarts. The one place he actually felt at home. The only place he would ever feel comfortable calling home, at least for now. And even more so, considering outside of Hogwarts he was technically between homes. It wasn't exactly how he imagined returning for his second term in his fourth year, but it was okay. He would put up with it. He would deal with it like he has dealt with everything else. With tiny shreds of hope strung together in a desperate desire to have a life that resembles anyone else's in Hogwarts. Because he knew, Stefan Archer knew that no matter how bad anyone else said their life was, he was pretty sure his was worse. Colourblind, parentless, with only the clothes on his back and what he'd left at school. Which, in reality was not much at all. He was a teen with so little  it wasn't hard to believe that everything he owned could probably fit in a plastic bag. The school books maybe not, but the rest of it. It was always something he'd been okay with. He watched at the start of every term everyone bring a huge trunk full of stuff, with sometimes one or two other bags, and then there was him with his old small backpack. He wondered how a person could have that much, and still need more. He had never been given much, and never had much but he'd never had enough, where as these other people had everything and wanted more. It was one of the inequalities that had made him laugh more than anything else. But now that he had pretty much lost what had remained for him in the muggle world, he was truly puzzled. It was why despite the very late time that he was arriving back at, he had no desire to go straight to bed. 

Stefan Archer's life had taken the worst possible turn in the past few months. He could no longer sleep full nights as the memories raged through his mind at all hours, and each time he had to remind himself it was in the past. It was despite how much rest he had supposedly gotten during his time away, the boy looked as though he hadn't slept in years and considering the boys thin frame it was hard to believe that he was even still standing. He felt constantly tired, but he couldn't sleep without being awoken by his nightmares. He was constantly cold because of his thin frame and huge amounts of lack of sleep. It was an endless circle that he saw no end to because of how vivid his dreams could be. He was just thankful that he would not ever have to put up with it ever again. Well, not from a blood relative. Since he had none of those left. But Stefan could deal with that a lot more than he knew he had ever dealt with his father. He was now just waiting for his friends. He'd sent a letter to his friends moments before telling them to meet him there, in the great hall. He knew that he couldn't exactly just turn up again. He knew that he had caused his friends some worry. He knew that doing something like that was not exactly nice but there was no helping it. It wasn't like he would've been able to. He knew he owed them an explanation and he knew no better time than when the rest of the school was asleep oblivious to the colourblind boy's reentrance to the school. He did however let out a long sigh. Stefan had been sitting at the slytherin table for an hour, he had no found the courage to go yet. How did he explain the small bag of what remained of his stuff. The clothes he'd been in at the time, that had been fixed but were still not clean. His blood was pretty much dried in all over the painstakingly pale colored t-shirt and jeans. He knew that he really should do it then, since he was back at Hogwarts and could finally do a  little bit of magic to help make things a little better. He was sitting with his arms around his chest, his ribs had still not completely healed, the doctors said that it was due to the fact they'd been broken and bruised on so many other occasions that  they would always take longer to heal. That and it had been a pretty bad few breaks. 

However Stefan did overall look slightly better. He didn't have any bruises on his face, his noise was dented from being broken, but it had healed and no longer caused him any pain. He had a few tiny bruises on his arms, but they were old at this point and almost completely gone.  His hands had many scars on them, but that was nothing new. His pinkie finger on his left hand had an odd shape to it, but it wasn't broken. Like everything else. Nothing was actually broken or what had been broken was now healed. He just had live with the memories that each scar and previous break caused him. Stefan tried his hardest to not think too much about it when awake but it was hard to not. Stefan was still skinny, but even that looked a little better. He'd gotten a small meal a day and while Stefan had not always been too hungry he was slowly getting better in that field too. Things had never been better for the teen despite how most would not claim his life to in any sense be good. Stefan was the kind of guy who took his victories when and where he could get them. And considering his life so far this was about victory number 3. He was just however happy to be back at the school. He didn't know how he was going to phrase it, he didn't know how he could. What to say, what to leave out. How could he even look his friends in the eyes and tell them. How could they look at him, knowing what they would soon know. But Stefan needed to tell them. He needed to explain at least a little to them. And hopefully afterwards they'd still want to be friends with him. If they didn't Stefan would just live with that. He had to. So instead of watching the door Stefan stared at his hands and began to create what he hoped would be how he explained everything to the only people left who cared about him.​

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[Kate Archer]

It was nighttime and once again Kate was sitting up in her bed attempting to read a book.This was her fourth book this week.Her eyes hurt from reading and they felt so tired but every time she tried to sleep she just couldn't do it.she was getting quite bored of fantasy and stories of love and Kate didn't like that because she really loved to read no matter how much geeky some people thought it was.She loved the way you could loose yourself in a book.Not notice anything around you,you are totally engrossed in the world of the book.reading a book had always helped her get to sleep before but now she just wasn't into it.She couldn't loose herself in it.she had too many worries and she was hungry,tired and sick.She had only gotten sick once today though which was good.She had kept what little food she had eaten for dinner inside her.Her digestive system must of been getting bored and pretty annoyed with the stomach for always puking it back up.But there was still that head ache going through her head.She had taken painkillers but she was afraid to take to much in case she got sick.So she would just have to deal with the thumping noise.She wasn't getting to sleep anyways.She hadn't gotten any homework so all she could do was sit around.She couldn't wait till June,from June on all of this would be over.She would get back to normal.Well hopefully she hadn't heard from Stefan since her last letter and she was worried.her hand went to the heart pendant,Funny how something so small could give you comfort.She only took it off when she was going into the shower.she didn't want to rust it or anything she wouldn't let anything happen to it.She really hoped he was okay and that he could come back.She missed him and she just wanted to see him and see with her own eyes that he was okay.She just sat on her bed and watched Tara sleep,she was so lucky that she could actually sleep.Kate's head turned when she heard a tapping on her window.She went over and saw an unfamiliar owl outside her window."Strange"Kate thought opeing the window and letting the owl in.She quietly got some nuts out of her suit case and gave them to the owl.She untied the letter and read it.

She had to read a few times until it actually sunk in. "he's here"She thought,he was okay.Kate could stop her heart rate.It wasn't good for it to speed up so suddenly.She took a few deep breaths befoe putting on a pair of shows and a better pj top.When she was ready she made her way out of the common room and made her way to the great hall.She wondered why he wanted to meet them this late.There were so many questions going through her head and it wasn't helping the head ache.She hoped she didn't get caught by a teacher for being out of bed at this hour.She slowly made her way to the room listening for any signs of trouble.When she finally made her way to the great hall she looked around to find him and there was was at the Sytherin Table.She couldn't help the smile and she fought the urge to run over to him and hold him so tight.She walked over to him and sat down beside him.She took a good look at him.Nothing seemed to of changed in fact he looked a bit better,but looked very tired "Long time no see"She said smiling,she was so happy that he was back.She wasn't sure what to say,so she let the silence take over and waited for him to speak.

 

[Stefan Archer]

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Nerves were beginning to get the better of him. He had an entire bad idea about what he was doing. He knew that in telling someone he would exposing a part of himself he had never had to. No one had ever known, or those that had had never had it confirmed by him. Why would he, he had no reason to tell anyone. They would try to persuade him into doing something that would get him into trouble, now he could no longer get into trouble by him. He was a free man in all senses of the word. His father gone, he was maybe alone, but he really had no one left to fear apart from the people he was going to be living with being a replica of his father. Which he didn't want in the slightest, Stefan had, had enough. He didn't want to be the guy who constantly had nothing and no one that cared about him. He wanted change more than anything else. Change would mean his freedom, and he wanted that. It was odd how a few months would lead him to thinking he didn't want it any more. He knew at times he deserved it. That he'd done something and it needed to be punished but other times, he knew he'd done nothing and yet he'd been punished. It wasn't fair and it hurt in more ways than one. It was however a happy thought him being back at Hogwarts, the one place that had always felt like a nice safe home. His father had never been able to reach him there, and he never would. He was happy to at least be back, not happy with why he was back so late on in the term, but he smiled at his own return. He still had nothing, but at least he could smile and be happy about the fact that he longer had to fear his own death at the end of each term. That he had to train himself how to eat properly up until the end of term and go back off it again. He would be able to for once actually take a large step forward on the road to recovery. The road to just being a normal teen, who was unfortunately colorblind. The colorblindness, was something that people could get over, it was something he had gotten over, so it was only a matter of time before they all did. He didn't expect to tell very many more people, he no longer needed an explanation for what had happened to him. The one he used had used to be his colorblindness, and now he wouldn't need it. He was just a random teen who was between homes.

This moved his thoughts to Kate. The girl he knew had been worried for him. She was the girl who'd been in his dreams when his nightmares didn't get to take over. They maybe did later during the night, but at first it was Kate. Her smile, her eyes, the way she flipped her hair. Everything about her screamed beautiful at him, no matter how sick she felt or looked. Maybe because Stefan had seen and been through such horrible things in life that any glimmer of a perfect person was enough to make him realize how much he cared. Kate was the girl he was most nervous about telling. He didn't want to tell her. He didn't want her to know that every single time he'd met up with her he'd received a punch and not eaten for a number of days afterwards. Or how low his father had made him feel, the number of things that he'd considered before realizing that wasn't the way to deal. Stefan was human after all and there was only so much he could take. Like any person that was his age and had been through what he had would. It was always a wonder to him why a girl like Kate would even be interested in a guy like him, as far as he was aware he had very little to offer her. He didn't have any money and he had tried to push her away, he had lied to her and yet she was still interested in him. They'd gone to the Yuleball together, she actually liked him, it was what took him by surprise the most. It was something he half didn't believe because of how much people had just left him. His father had always told him that he was worthless, completely useless and a waste of the air he was breathing, and yet a perfect girl like Kate liked him. And he, well he was pretty much in love with her, even though he didn't entirely realize that what he felt for her was love. He'd never loved or been loved before, he didn't know what it felt like. Everything was new to him. Everything would work out, that he was certain of. It wasn't like he hadn't given enough. His life had been one disaster after another up until this point where he was pretty much ready to stop. Now he had to admit things had to get better for him, it was only fair. His thoughts were broken when a voice right beside him spoke. He had a sharp intake of breath as the person surprised him. He turned to look at the person and a smile erupted on to his face. Speak of the devil. Without even thinking about it, he leaned in and hugged her. It wasn't a very strong hug, he was still conscious of his ribs, but it was one of the first times he'd ever given a hug to someone else.

"I missed you." Stefan said, as he leaned out of the hug, a smile on his face. He took in Kate's appearance, she was thin again, but she was smiling and while she didn't look a hundred percent he would be okay with it as long as she was smiling. "I'm so sorry." He muttered, looking down briefly at the bag at his feet and then back up at her. He didn't know how to even start. To just slide into normal conversation, or go straight into what had happened to him. "How are you? How've you been?" He was curious, and he knew for a brief moment sliding the attention off him wouldn't be a bad idea. "Did you win at Quidditch?" The boy smiled again at the girl in front of him. He fell silent, looking away. Staring down at his hands and finding the words. "My dad died, over the Holidays."​

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[Kate Archer]

Kate was nervous as she quickly got dressed to meet Stefan.She was worried as to how he would be.Would he be sick or injured?Kate's head hurt from all the questions swirling around it.Her head ache got worse and she took a few deep breaths to calm both her heart and head.She was looking forward to when she could take another pain killer.Who knew she would have to depend on them so much.She hated needing something,she tried to take as little as possible as it probably wasn't that healthy and there was always the risk of addiction though Kate thought that was unlikely.She started coughing and she tried to shut herself up because the cough was echoing around the walls of the school.Maybe she shouldn't of played that Quidditch match.Her immune system wasn't exactly in tip top shape.So now she had a terrible cold and a bad cough.She hurried along the hall her thoughts flying through her head.When she opened the doors,just seeing him there she felt most of her worries just go away.

As she sat there waiting he did something that surprised her.He hugged her.Kate just sat there for a few seconds before returning the hug gently.She couldn't believe he had actually hugged her.What had happened?Kate was getting happier. "I missed you too"She said as she hugged him.She loved him,she wasn't exactly sure what that fully meant but all she knew as that he meant everything to her.The Yule Ball had been one of her highlights of her life.When he had asked her to the Yule Ball it had been a very pleasant surprise and had taken a great weight of her shoulders knowing that he felt the same way.It was great to see him smiling,she was so happy to see him.She had been so worried hadn't helped her health,but she couldn't help it.It was hard not to cry,she was so relieved that he was okay.She looked up when he said he was sorry "You seem to say that a lot"she said smiling,one tear falling down her face. "I've been so worried"She said looking down at her hands "But other then that I've been a bit better"She said shrugging her shoulders.She smiled "No,the stupid seeker caught the snitch first"She said laughing.She was surprised but glad that he had remembered.She was still a bit annoyed that they had lost the match,some members of their team had worker so hard and had been wining but there was always next year."Oh Stefan"She said putting her hand on his,she wasn't sure what to say,what could she say?She knew they hadn't had an anyway good relationship.It doesn't matter if his dad wasn't what a dad was supposed to be,he had still been Stefan's dad and his only relation."Do you miss him?"She asked curiously.She wasn't sure if he would,it was hard to know in his sort of situation.

 

[Stefan Archer]

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There was no way of him ever being able to put into words how much he actually cared about the girl sitting with him. She was really the only person that he had ever felt that she really wasn't lying about liking him. About how they were friends and would always be friends, even if at this point he wanted a hell of a lot more. It wasn't like he actually knew how to do anything about his feelings. He was just as clueless as the first time bambi tried to walk on ice. Stefan Archer knew that he'd done a lot of things to make her distrust him, and make her not like him, but it was always surprising to him that she cared. That she cared at all, when all others hadn't cared enough to give him the light of day. That his mother had left, the social workers had never ever seen a problem other than a lack of money. Which of course had been partially true, but no one had ever seemed to see the bigger picture. No one had ever noticed the way Stefan hesitated when next to his father, the way he'd always flinched when the man had put his arm around Stefan, or lifted him off the ground as fathers would for their child. Stefan had always known it to be fake, every time the man had ever leaned for a kiss in front of these people he'd muttered insults and threats into his ear. It had definitely not been good at all. But here was a girl, that had clearly known about it for a while and yet had stuck around. She was sitting beside him with a little smile on her face quietly reminding him of how perfect she truly was. Of how pleased he was to have her in his life. There was nothing that he wouldn't do for her. He was so pleased to see her, to know she was okay. To know she hadn't hopefully lost hope in him. It was why despite how much he hated signs of affection with most people he could not have held back when she sat down. He had to give her a hug. Since he was uninjured and glad to see her. Happy for his return and for the fact she stood in front of him, he was just so happy that a hug was what he needed to do. It didn't even cross his mind that he was taking her by surprise in how he was acting. She'd given him plenty of hugs, and while this was the first he'd ever given, it hadn't ever meant to surprise anyone. He gave a very light and short smile to her words, it was not because he felt embarrassed but more because he truly felt like he should be apologising for so much more than what he had in his mind. For him this was a sorry it took me so long to get here. But really he wanted to apologise for not being their during her quidditch match, or their date. For lying to her on countless occasions about why he was hurt. Denying her help ad pretending like things couldn't be better in his life.

However seeing tears in her eyes took him completely by surprise. He hadn't ever expected something like that to occur, in his eyes this would be for the first part at least a happy reunion. He didn't know how to explain to her what he wanted to know. It wasn't like he could just come out and say it. It wasn't something easily dropped in conversation. "I have to say it." Stefan said looking at her with a somewhat puzzled expression. He couldn't really understand the tears. Not even a little. It was surprising and he was worried. Had he done something wrong. Her words that followed made him smile. She had been worried, he had wanted her to not be, but he had been worried about her. She was the only thing that had kept him going in the last few weeks. Her letters, her kind words, the mere thought of seeing her again. "I didn't mean to worry you." He muttered, unable to keep the quietness out of his voice. He hadn't meant to but he knew that he would have. The moment he'd realised what had happened he knew she would have been worried. But he'd secretly hoped not. He really didn't think he was worth worrying about. His father had told him that often enough. He wasn't glad to hear she hadn't won the game. He'd been routing for her, despite the fact that she'd been playing the Slyhterin team. It wasn't like he'd been playing. "I'm sure you played brilliantly. I know you will have. Hopefully I'll get to see you play next time." Stefan gave another smile to her, knowing that she probably would play again as long as she stayed in good health. Her reaction to his words almost made him smile. He knew what his father was like, and he was sure that she was secertly a little happy that his father was dead. He definitely was. In parts he was happy, and then in parts it made him want to quit. He gave a small shrug. "I don't know." He muttered. "The man was hardly a father to me. He didn't care about me. But he was all I had left. I don't have anything anymore," Stefan gave a small smile. "I don't have a home" He nodded as he was speaking looking away from kate, Almost embarrassed that he had truly nothing now. No Family, no home, no one to turn to. "Kate, I want to tell you everything, but I don't know how. So, I'll answer any question. just ask me and I'll answer it, as best I can."​

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[Kate Archer]

Kate wondered did a lot of people feel this was about someone at her age.She had never really believed in that sort of stuff,but she had been proved wrong by herself.She was glad that she had always stood by Stefan,She wasn't exactly sure why she had,she wasn't sure if it had been just been her being stubborn or she had unconsiously made the decision.None the less she was glad she had done it because if she hadn't,sure she might not have gone through a few bits of worry but look what she got for her patience?She thought it had been pretty much worth it for so many reasons.Kate was the sort of person who never gave up on herself or other people.It was a trait she was proud and lucky to have.She was glad she had parents who cared for her,even if they annoyed the hell out of her sometimes.Some people just took their parents for granted and they need to just wake up and smell the coffee because there are other people like Stefan,maybe not to the same extremes but there were still people who had no parents.She was a lucky girl,she had one of the best friends sitting beside her,who meant a whole lot more to her then many of her other friends.He always made her smile,with out even trying.Only someone special can do that and Stefan was one of the most special people in her life.She was glad that he gave her hug,it showed that he was changing for the better.

She laughed at the expression on his face when he saw her cry.It was so surprised and almost worried "Don't worry about me"She said smiling.It was annoying the fact she shed tears so easily.She wasn't half as bad these days ,but that tear had been for a good reason.She smiled "I know"She said,she understood where he was coming from but he didn't have to say it,because he had done nothing wrong,Kate didn't think so anyways.Of course she knew he hadn't purposely worried her.she would be a bit worried if he had and a bot annoyed but he hadn't "I know that silly"She said laughing.she had to admit she was in a bit of a giddy mood because she was so happy.She hadn't been in this sort of a mood in ages.Kate smiled shyly,she still couldn't take the compliments."Thanks"She said shifting slightly on the bench.It was so nice to see him smile and it was nice to be smiling herself.Kate nodded,she understood where he was coming but he had one thing wrong "You have me"She said looking at him.It would be horrible not to have a home but that was what Hogwarts could be "And you have Hogwarts"She said looking around the huge great hall.Hogwarts was more a home to her then her new home.Kate was again surprised,he was really going to admit everything?Now that she had the chance to ask him anything and nothing was coming to mind. "How long has he being doing it?"She finally asked

 

[Stefan Archer]

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As much as he truly believed that having her was the greatest thing ever, he also knew in the back of his mind that a family who cared about him would be just as amazing. Having Kate was the light of his life, he didn't care about anything else as long as she was by his side. Showing her support and just in general being the greatest friend a person could have ever asked for. Especially a guy that was in his sort of situation, but it didn't mean that Stefan didn't desire a family. Parents who loved him. People other than friends that he could rely on. People he could ask about his parents. Were they always like this, or was just with him. He had so many questions that he knew would never get answered, and the boy didn't mutter a word about it, but it was now having lost both his parents and having no connection to what would be grandparents or other relatives he was feeling a little down about it. It wasn't like Kate, where she had siblings and parents that cared. He had always been jealous of her and her family, despite the issues they had it was still better than what he had. However, most was better than what he had. Stefan had nothing. He had his small amount of friends, and a very small amount of possessions. He didn't have a house to go back to at the end of term, but he was glad that at long last he was rid of the man that had caused him so much pain. It wasn't like he didn't know that it was going to be incredibly hard to move on without the man he'd called his father. It didn't matter what he'd done, the man was still a blood relative, and considering he'd been running low, it was a given that no matter what the man had done with his life, Stefan would feel at least a little sad about it. He wanted to be able to tell Kate with all his heart that he'd been glad for the death of his father, but he couldn't. He was more relieved, he didn't have to fight as hard for his life, he didn't have anything to fear. He could never say that he in parts missed his father. He thought he shouldn't, but he did. There was no denying that as terrible as the man was to him, he would still miss him. As for having hogwarts, he knew that. But outside of it. He didn't have anything. He had literally nothing. Everything he owned was either on him, in the bag at his feet or in his small section of the dorm. He had nothing more, and no money to buy it with either. Things he knew would not get easier. He had to get back into the swing of school, and before he knew it, it would be the winter break and he had to face the music. Hogwarts had always been his safety net, but it wasn't until just that that he realized how much he had relied on it during the time that he'd spent there before this fiasco. He worked hard all year to have it all taken away. He knew what would happen. It was a certainty. He no longer had that. It scared him, there was no telling what would happen to him during the break, where he would be, if he would have a roof over his head or not. Everything was just so unpredictable now, and Stefan Archer truly hated that. The question didn't catch him off guard, but he looked away from Kate, suddenly embarrassed at what his answer would be. He stared down at his hands.

"I can't remember a time when he didn't" Stefan answered quietly. He closed his eyes and memories came rushing at him. Ones from when he was a lot younger, more recent. There was not a time that he could remember where his father hadn't been his father. "It got worse over the years" Stefan could feel the warmth in his cheeks. He knew he was embarrassed, he didn't know that his pale skin at his face was going pretty red. Stefan couldn't look up and meet her eyes. How could he knowing that here was a person so perfect, with a life that had been completely normal listening to a friend say how he had never once been able to fight back against his father. That his father had said so many things to him that made him cringe that he never wanted to repeat. He'd never known anything else until he'd come to school. He had thought it was normal for a father to act in that way, it hurt but he'd deserved it most of the time. But saying that tiny little thing to Kate was confirming what she'd always believed. "I deserved it a lot of the time" He muttered even quieter than before. It wasn't necessary for him to say such a thing, but she didn't understand that it was his fault according to his father that his mother was dead. It was his fault he couldn't see color. It was his fault that his father didn't have a proper job. If he dropped something or made noise, it was his fault. Of course, it wasn't. Stefan just didn't know that. In the same way he didn't know his father was also colourblind or that during the first two years of his life Stefan had been protected by his father. That he had at one point been on the road to a normal life, but things as they generally did for Stefan his life had taken a turn in the wrong direction. And he was left with what he had to deal with. Stefan gave the smallest of sighs and then looked up at his friend. He couldn't believe she was his friend, that he got to call her that. That she was the girl who'd said yes to a date with him. She was perfect, and he was just Stefan.​

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[Kate Archer]

As Kate sat there on the bench in the cold hall.she wondered where life was going to take her.What was going to be her next obstical,or what would simply happen next.She had gotten to a stage where she thought she needed to be thinking about what she was going to do when she left here.There was four years left and two were exam years.That wasn't a lot of time before she was out of her.Would she even go to university or would she get a magical job.So many options and she had no idea what so ever she wanted to do.Some times too many choices is just annoying.Kate's mind has been a bit preoccupied at the moment and now that she didn't have the worry of Stefan other worries started entering her brain.But that was only one part,the other part was thinking about Stefan,there was always that one part that always thought of him.Now that his Dad was gone,he actually had a definite future.He had his whole life ahead of him.That must be hard to take in.Kate would certainly find it hard but maybe he hadn't even thought that far ahead.One of thing s that were probably going through his mind was that he would never have to experience that amount of pain ever again,there were probably tonnes of other things but since Kate had never experienced what he was experiencing she didn't know what he was thinking.She wondered what it would of been like during his time here in Hogwarts,knowing what was waiting for you when you went home,Kate almost shuddered she definitely wouldn't of like that.She wondered again how he could of stood it,she wasn't sure she would of been able to but maybe a survival instinct kicked in when you were in those sort of situations.Well she hoped she would never have to know if a survival instinct kicked in.

He looked very embarrassed and Kate kind of understood why.She wouldn't feel comfortable about it.So he had grown up with it,most of been s surprise when he found out that your Dad's weren't actually supposed to do what his did.he wondered why his dad even let him go to Hogwarts,if he hadn't gone to primary school.She guessed it was something they would never know.The brunette was asking herself why did his dad even do it?Was it something to do with the death of Stefan's mother,so many questions that would never be answered.She nodded,his dad had certainly gotten worse,since entering Hogwarts.Kate looked at him for a few seconds after he had spoken.he had said it so quietly she had nearly missed it and the fact that he actually believed that made her rise up in indignation but she controlled her temper taking a deep breath before saying "And you believe that?"She asked quietly.No one deserved that,not even if you did something bad which Stefan had never done.His Dad must of battered it into him and she was sure that he didn't believe he had deserved all of it,when you are told something constantly and there is no one to contradict you,no matter how much you know it's not true or think it's stupid you will believe it.Dictators did that all they had succeeded,they had brainwashed a whole nation,no wondered Stefan believed it he had probably been told it since he was about two."How did you get through it?"She asked curiously,it was a question she asked herself often because it took a lot to get through all of that for fourteen to fifteen years.

 

[Stefan Archer]

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With an entire future now ahead of him, it was easy to assume that now more than ever that he was going to live a very full life. Well, his chances of doing so had greatly improved since he'd first come to Hogwarts. In the first few days there had been little doubt in his mind that he'd actually get to the end, now however he had so much he would do with his life. So many things he could try to achieve within the time. Not always what he had always wanted to achieve, but he now had the chance to literally do whatever he wanted. If he wanted to dance or sing, he could. If he wanted to be an aurora, or a healer he could. There was no longer the restraint of his father and the hold he had on him. There was no longer the ever lingering thought that he wouldn't live long enough to be able to complete his years at school. It was why he'd never actually taken it very seriously. Sure he'd tried but he'd not really thought much further ahead than a few months. He had no reason to before. Now he did, he had many more reasons to do such things. He had never been brave enough to attempt anything with anyone, but now, as he smiled at Kate he realized that he could actually have a chance. It might take a while for him to ever be able to talk and be with her without fearing that her like all the others who'd ever mattered in life had done which was leave. He knew that considering she'd come this far, Kate might not, but he knew that life had always been unfair to him, so he doubted it would be any different now. Just because he had one less worry, meant he had about six or seven more. At least with his father he knew what he was getting. He knew it was a fairly awful attitude to have considering what his father had done to him, and would continue to do. But he really was at a loss. He'd never imagined in his wildest dream that this would be how things would turn for the Slytherin teen. He'd tried his hardest to at least at hogwarts attempt to stay a little more positive about his future. He celebrated each day as a little success, and he made the memories he needed to be able to keep him going during the term itself. Now, all he had to worry about was being placed in a home where someone would want to take care of him. Of course there was the chance that he could be put somewhere with someone as bad as, or worse than his father. Stefan was pretty sure he couldn't take much more of it. It had been getting to the point where he felt like giving up had been on his mind. He loved Hogwarts and he loved life but each person had a limit, and that had almost been his.

"Kate, he hated my very existence, the fact I was alive was reason enough for him. It was all I knew." Stefan just said, keeping his eyes away from her. He couldn't the fact he had lived while his mother had died was a reason for his father to punish him. His mother had been his dad's everything and when he lost her, he no longer saw Stefan as a son. But as the kid he had to live with. "I'm colourblind, he always blamed me for that too. All the times I got things wrong because I couldn't see the color, he would punish." Stefan finally met her eyes, his father was the reason that Stefan believed that he didn't deserve a girl like Kate. She was beautiful, kind, warm hearted girl and in his eyes he was a quiet, self-centered, worthless guy. His father had told him he didn't deserve happiness and that he was a waste of space some many times that there were days he still believed it with all his heart. Most of the time he realized he did deserve happiness and then other times he truly believed that he was worthless. The next question made him shrug. It was difficult to say. Most of the time he didn't know how he'd managed it. And then he knew why he'd lately put up with it. He took a deep breath and met Kate's eyes. "Hope." He said. "The hope that it would stop, the hope that I would wake up one morning and it would all be a terrible nightmare. The hope that something would happen and I wouldn't have to live with it. I also guess I really wanted to live. I didn't want to let my mum down by giving up. School helped a lot" Stefan looked away. He knew that she would maybe understand how something as small as school helped. "Knowing I had this to look forward to, friends. The memories of this place helped me through some of the darker times, when I say this school helped save my life I mean it literally." Stefan smiled slightly, thinking of a few of the many great times they had. "I couldn't let you down either."​

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[Kate Archer]

Kate had always believed in happiness,in love.That's the kind of household and community she had grown up in.She had never watched the news,read the newspapers magazines.She had just live in her little perfect world.Things hadn't been always perfect,fights with her brother and sisters,getting in trouble with her parents.She had liked exploring when she was small.There had a been a small forest down from where they had lived and she would often go there and explore everything there,sometime she would just bring a blanket and a book to read for a while.Even though it was very small,lots of of life had lived in it,she had never gotten total peace and quiet but the noise of animals in their homes wasn't an annoying noise,more of a comforter.She had never told anyone about it,it had been her special place,that was one of the reasons she got in trouble because one day she wouldn't let Sara come with her and all hell broke loose.Kate was good at keeping secrets,when you live with a family who are incredibly noise,you have to learn to keep certain things to yourself,because if anyone found out someone from her family would soon know about it.It was hard growing up with people who were very close to your age,especially in regards to having the same friends,that could be a bit annoying and Kate had been one to like attention when she was small.It wasn't something she was proud in but nobody was perfect and showing off was one of Kaye's bad traits.It wasn't something that came out in the open much and she did her best to not do it but sometimes you can't stop the urge.

Kate nodded,that wasn't what she meant. "I know that but just because he said it doesn't mean it's true,nobody deserves to be treated like that"Kate said in defense.She didn't care if his Dad blamed him for his Mam's death.It was a very unfair thing to do no matter how much it hurt.He should of been their for Stefan when his mam died.he should of stepped up and taken the father role but instead he had gone the other way and blamed Stefan for something that was totally nobodies fault.Kate shook her head,she wasn't sure if she would of been able to live with that. "That's horrible"She said meeting his gaze.She appreciated his openness.It was nice for once to be actually told what had been going on instead of guessing.Some people are just driven mad by loss and Kate hoped that that would never happen to her or anyone close to her.Stefan deserved much more then he thought he did.Everyone deserved happiness no matter how screwed up the world was.Kate smiled,hope.There was the real Stefan.the type of person who really didn't want to give up because you had things to live for.The last bit pleasantly surprised her,she wasn't expecting that "And you didn't"She said smiling