I Have Come Here to Chew Bubblegum and Kick Ass

[Gilly Gillespie]

Gilly couldn't believe that she'd been invited to attend a boarding school for witches and wizards, in a castle no less, and she was currently kicking rocks across the great lawn. Where were the spells, the giants, the goblins and the broomsticks? Admittedly, the welcome feast had been full of ghosts (she couldn't stop staring at them until one poked their tongue out at her), and there were older years practicing their spellwork all over the place. There was a tiny, pointy-eared Professor at the house table, as well as a terrifying white-haired giant that she'd been sure was a real giant until she looked the creatures up, and found them to be over twenty-five feet tall. Perhaps the Professor was part-giant- he was certainly scary enough to be. She secretly loved the look of him. Gilly hoped he was as fierce as his glare was.

All in all, everything had been a huge disappointment, or so she'd conveyed to Norton. Her new owl had bitten her, she couldn't get her wand to do anything but spark, and they wouldn't let her try out the brooms until classes had started.
"This place sucks," growled Gilly aloud. She punted her rock as hard as she could, and it sailed a satisfying twenty meters before disappearing into a shrub. Great- now she didn't even have a rock to kick. The stocky new Slytherin parked her butt in the grass and begrudgingly pulled a book out of her bag. She'd removed Basic Hexes for the Busy and Vexed, to her general approval, and flipped open to the first spell she could find. Gilly began to practice her trip jinx, and for a good fifteen minutes she was close to breaking her wand over her knee when it wouldn't even twitch.
Eventually it seemed to 'wake up'- "Maybe it's the maple," she muttered, "Too sissy. Jinx, damn you!"- and started puffing a fine stream of air. Thirty-seven tries later (and a lot of swear words that an eleven year old should not be using), Gilly got it. Of course, no one had told her that it was a bad idea to be practicing trip jinxes on the school law. Most people would just assume you wouldn't. Either way, it didn't work out well for the nearest passer-by.​

 

[Gideon Zelinsky]

Gideon had seven years to adjust to the layout of Hogwarts castle, but for the time being, the place was a maze. From dungeons to towers, to portraits that opened into passageways and rooms, there was just too much to remember too quickly. He'd do it all in his own time, trying to memorise what floor had which classroom was just going to give him an unnecessary headache. The great outdoors were by far more relaxing. Fresh air, a large expansive field of green, a vibrant garden and easy navigation. Everything was easy to find outside. Perhaps even his cat, which had gone missing since the previous day. By now, one of the older students had probably transfigured it into a boot as Transfiguration practice. Secretly, he hoped they had. The thing was vicious, and it hated him. It had been all big eyes and fluffy cuteness in the menagerie, but he'd soon come to realise it was all an act, a way to escape into the world on its own, the cunning bastard. He was always more of a dog person. Elijah and Morrigan's pets didn't give them any trouble. He knew he should have gotten a toad instead. Or a pygmy puff. You could never go wrong with one of those.

Trudging through the lawn, his hands shoved into the pockets of his Hogwarts hoodie, Gideon explored, eager to see what the grounds had to offer. Maybe he'd also find his feline. Or a cat shaped boot. Who could tell in a school of teenage witches and wizards. His eyes roamed the distant landmarks - the Quidditch Pitch, the Greenhouses, the encompassing and enticingly restricted Forbidden Forest. If he'd been paying attention to his immediate vicinity instead, maybe he could have avoided a stray tripping jinx. As it was, he didn't. With a startled yelp, his vision was distorted in a violent somersault, and replaced by a view of the endless blue sky. He laid there for a moment, staring upwards. This was not the Great Lawn.

 

[Gilly Gillespie]

Gilly had many mixed feelings about jinxing another student. First of all, the boy's reaction was hilarious. He just lay on his back with the wind knocked out of him, and Gilly spluttered a giggle before the horror took over. It was mixed with a fair amount of triumph for the spell actually working, but she was pretty sure that she wasn't allowed to jinx other students, at least not intentionally. She decided to deploy a little Slytherin cunning, since she'd heard so much about the house being model Machiavellians.

"Oh my God!" cried Gilly, rushing over to Gideon with her hand outstretched to help him up. "Did you see that? It came out of nowhere! Who goes firing off spells in the middle of the Lawn? Whoever it was, they got you good, didn't they?" On second thoughts, maybe she shouldn't have offered him a hand. It was a little sweaty from her vigorous spell-casting, and for her flagrant lie.​

 

[Gideon Zelinsky]

The sunlight was blocked out by a girl-shaped shadow, and Gideon had to blink to refocus his eyes. "A spell?" He questioned, raising his head to look at the patch of grass he'd tripped over. Not watching his own feet, he assumed he'd fallen over a rock, or a root, or his cat. Who knew what that feline was capable of. But as it was, there was nothing there. "Well that was mean. Who did that?" The Gryffindor looked left and right, scanning the lawn and the few students occupying it. "I bet it was that one over there. He looks shifty." His eyes narrowed with suspicion on a nearby student, though he couldn't be sure. For all he knew, the poltergeist could have done it. Hex? Vex? He couldn't remember. There was so much to take in, and he'd barely been there long enough. At the girl's offered hand, he reached his own up, but his grasp immediately slipped through her clammy grip and he remained firmly on the ground. "Did you just come from the lake or something? I haven't been yet, but I hear they have mermaids."

 

[Gilly Gillespie]

Gilly hurriedly wiped her hands and left the boy to get up on his own. He had legs, didn't he? "Mermaids aren't real," she responded automatically, but as soon as she said it, she wasn't so sure. "I think ..." If there were ghost, goblins and poltergeists, who was to say there weren't mermaids, too? She tried to imagine what they'd look like, and judging by her failed expectations so far, they were likely ugly, vicious things that she shouldn't go near.

"I take it back" she declared after a moment's miserable contemplation, "They're probably real, and nasty like sharks and barracudas."
Yoooow.
"-I do know they've got these horrible little water sprites called grindylows that try to drown you if they see you. I don't know about you, but I hate-"
Yooooooooow.
"-sea creatures, already. The magical world has so many of them- Okay, what is that?" Gilly finally asked. She'd been trying to talk over the faint cries of an animal with a very annoying voice, but it had become impossible as they rose in pitch. She turned in the direction of the noises and ended up staring across the lawn at a fluffy cat that was stuck up a tree. "Whose cat is that?" asked Gilly in confusion, turning back to look at Gideon.​

 

[Gideon Zelinsky]

Gideon watched the girl with a quizzical expression, his mind taking a moment to understand why she didn't know that merfolk were real. His arms and legs brushed through the grass in a snow angel formation as the hamster wheel that was his brain turned, coming to a stop as it dawned on him that she must be a muggle-born, or just really sheltered. With this in mind, he grinned, waiting while she tried to figure out if they were real or not, before going further into discussion about other magical sea creatures. By now, the grass beneath him was completely flattened into the shape he'd wanted, so distracted by his grass-angel and the talk of grindylows that he'd tuned out the background yowling. It was a sound he had unfortunately grown accustomed to. "Huh?" He responded, propping himself up on his elbows and following the girl's line of sight. There sat his cat, which sadly had not been turned into anything else. It was so typical. "Oh that's, uh. That's Boot." He responded, changing its name for the sixth time since he'd bought it. He couldn't settle on anything, and it didn't exactly respond to him no matter what name, or insult he used for it. "I bet he's done that on purpose." He mumbled more to himself than anyone else. This was such typical behaviour.

 

[Gilly Gillespie]

Gilly wrinkled her nose at the cat, then at Gideon. "Boot? Okay, if you say so," she responded incredulously. The boy didn't seem to like the cat very much, so perhaps the name was prophetic of the cat's fate when he learned transfiguration.
"Well, come on, you can't lie down there all day. I didn't trip you that hard," she told Gideon, heedless of her mistake. "Let's get Boot out of the tree."

Gilly decided that her fellow first year had spent quite enough time marinating on the lawn, and her tone brooked no argument. The new Slytherin towed the new Gryffindor along as she commiserated with him about hated pets.
"I don't know about you, but I thought owls would be cool. I've seen toads and cats before, and they're jerks, so why not an owl, right? Well if you're thinking of trading in your cat for one- don't. They're jerks, too. Jerks with beaks." Gilly showed him a v-shaped slice in her index finger mournfully. They'd come to the foot of the tawa tree, and the yowling that had mildly disturbed her in the first place had become a full blown pet peeve.
"Hey, you! Boot! You big, stupid lobster! Shut up, we're getting you down!" Gilly cast a grin at Gideon and turned to face the boy. "Gimme a boost, will you?"
​

Slight Godmod approved.​

 

[Gideon Zelinsky]

"Well I mean, I could lie here all day. Hey, wait-"Gideon responded, confused by her statement. Did he mishear her? Surely he did. Jumping to his feet, the Gryffindor boy trailed after the girl, distracted by his thoughts of whether or not she'd been the one to trip him until she spoke again, tearing his train of thought onto a different track. He could only keep up with one topic at a time. "Pfffh, have you seen the floor of the Owlery? No thanks. Cats are a lot cleaner. Besides, I don't think I could trade my cat in anyway. I feel like they were happy to get rid of it. He was hoping it'd eventually go find a new owner to become a problem for. Boot was too much responsibility for an eleven year old boy. "I miss my jarvey. He's the best, taught me a lot of words I'd never heard before. I think he learned them from the neighbours, they're always shouting and calling each other names. He was great for de-gnoming, too. My mum grows these herbs that gnomes just love, so we get them all the time." The Jarvey was a last-resort solution to their gnome infestation, and his parents regretted buying the overgrown ferret almost immediately, but Gideon had come to love it too much for them to take it back. Reaching the tree, Giddy reluctantly braced himself to help lift the girl up. "Do we have to do this? I bet he knows how to get down on his own. You know, I still don't know your name, too."

 

[Vex]

Vex loved nothing more than firsties. There was something about their reactions that was better than others - most often, they would cry or laugh when victims of his pranks. Much more interesting than older students with their complaining and dibby-dobbing on him to the professors. He rode the breeze outside the castle and along the lawn, but his attempts at finding a new victim were repeatedly interrupted by a hideous mewling sound that was completely ruining everything. Orange eyes narrowed, Vex decided it was time to investigate, and the Hufflepuff he had been stalking was left without so much as a drop of slime on her head (he would get her later).

He tracked the noise to a furry creature, with one too many unusable dangers to be of any interest to the poltergeist. Why have pointy teeth and retractable claws without being big and interesting enough to use them? Even Colin (fondly renamed Beetelgeuse by Vex, because Colin is a stupid name) the hippogriff was more interesting than this bothersome feline. "I should slime you," he told it, the cat's tail flicking in recognition of the voice, but lacking the visual input to place it. Being invisible was great. The cat still managed to pause its crying to hiss in his general direction however, firing the poltergeist up and causing him to start tilting his kettle over the furball.

The being of chaos paused as a couple of students (firsties? Firsties!) approached, giving the cat far more attention than it deserved. So naturally, Vex grabbed the cat around the stomach and flew out from the tree, only revealing himself to the students after finding a way to hold the cat as it wiggled and squirmed violently, without having its claws turned in his direction. With a quick flick, his kettle had to dangle from his foot instead. The cat was clearly not pleased with the situation, as its mewling turned into howling and hissing at its captor, before it eventually wriggled out of his grasp and landed cleaning on the ground. It hissed once more, before starting to run away, leaving Vex with absolutely no one to slime - except the firsties of course. A smile returned to his face, and it was anything but friendly as he glided over to the pair.

"Hello!"​

 

[Gilly Gillespie]

"It's Gilly," Gilly called back to Gideon as she planted her foot into his proffered palms. "I'll get your name when I come down- I feel like I have to concentrate to capture this beast. Then you can tell me what a jarvey is, too," she replied practically as she hoisted herself into the tree. She'd barely scaled two branches when the Slytherin was forced to crane her neck, gaping, as the cat flew out of the tree and hovered in the air. 'Boots' didn't seem to go of their own volition, though. It thrashed and spat as though it were being held by an invisible force, and indeed, Gilly could just make out the imprints of small fingers around its stripey middle.

"A ghost?" wondered Gilly aloud. Not quite. As soon as Vex materialised, Gilly let out a shriek and fell out of the tree. Luckily she had good reflexes. Gideon was there to break her fall. She climbed off of his back soon enough and tried not to give into a belly full of excitement, but her self control was limited these days.
"Wow! Wow! Hey Gryffindor, get up, look, it's Vex! Wow!" The girl's animation soon turned to horror as the mischievous spirit dropped the cat. Almost in slow-motion, the ugly little puss turned in mid-air and landed on its feet, taking off as fast as its short legs could carry it into the castle grounds for poor Gideon to find again (if he could even be bothered after this debacle).
"Oh. Um ... Thanks for not squashing the cat?" Gilly said to Vex uncertainly, "Although it probably would've deserved it ... You're Vex, right? I've been waiting to meet you," she told him, giving him a fierce grin. "Don't be such a jelly, get up and say hi, Mister Trips-a-Lot," she added to the other poor, squashed first year.​

 

[Gideon Zelinsky]

"Like the plant?" Gideon said aloud, but it seemed the girl, Gilly, was too busy trying to get a hold of Boots. The cat, not literal boots. And had she just said she didn't know what a jarvey was, too? He shook his head in wonder. There was so much he wanted to show her already, and they'd only known each other a few minutes. She was missing out on so many amazing things. "Have you got him yet?" He called up after a moment. "You're getting heavy. I don't know how lo-" He cut off his complaint as a striped blur moved in his peripherals. Looking up, he was surprised to see his cat, floating. "WHAT." Was all he managed to shout of his surprise before Gilly lost her balance and he was suddenly eating dirt. It was not appetizing.

Spitting frantically to clear his mouth of soil, Gideon steadily rose to his feet for the second time since meeting the Slytherin girl. Hopefully his tumbles to the earth weren't going to become a common theme. The boy brushed any remaining dirt and leaves out of his air before turning to the girl and their newest arrival, the poltergeist that had coated him in his own dinner on the first night. "I'm Giddy, Gilly." He grumbled, his mouth still tasting of earth. Their names were so similar, it was almost confusing. "Not like the billywig sting. I'm not giddy. I'm Gideon." Maybe those two falls had taken their toll on his brain, he was confusing even himself with what he was trying to say. Or perhaps it was the shock if seeing his pet feline fly unaided, until he understood that it must have been the poltergeist holding it up. "Hey, Vex." He eventually greeted after righting himself. "You know if you want that cat as a pet, you can have it. For free."