Hogwarts Monthly Y45/S2


A Bumper Issue!
By Michael Watson (Camilla)
Hello and thank you for being here for another year at Hogwarts! Here at the Hogwarts Monthly we've been keeping our extendable ears to the pumpkin vines for all the news you can use. A big congratulations to our Head Students for the year, Molly Burke and Felix Carnahan of Hufflepuff. Really can't underestimate those badgers, hey? This year we also welcomed Professor Noel Waldgrave to the Defence Against the Dark Arts role for first to fourth year, and Professor Cairo Keller as our new Muggle Studies professor for third and fourth year. We hope everyone’s been making them feel welcome!

It's been pretty busy around the school - sometimes it can hit us like the Hogwarts Express whether you're in first year or seventh year. We at the Hogwarts Monthly hope that everyone, staff and students alike, take plenty of time to look after themselves, relax and recover over the holiday break. And to all our graduates, best of luck with everything and don’t be strangers!
Club Events
By Margo Fox (Kadi)
By Giulia Alcott (Rowan)
Hogwarts has been busy this year as its many clubs have gotten together to share their common interests together!

Boys and girls have had plenty to do between the Brotherhood of Magic and Heta Omega sorority. Both started out the year with fun mixers for the older students to introduce themselves to the first years or anyone else joining the clubs this year. This semester thing’s got interesting though with the Brotherhood’s rugby game that got off to an exciting starting with a haka performed by Professor Josephs and Rāwhiti Te Rangi. The Heta Omega girls took a different approach and put on their best clothes and had a high tea in the gardens.

Speaking of gardens, the Wild Patch Club was also busy doing what they do best, planting some fresh flowers, fruits, and vegetables, and taking care of said plants. If you ask them nicely they might even let you sample some of the great fresh produce. But you have to act quick because they’ve also been hard at work getting those plants ready for the winter.

Not to be out done, the Conglomerated Arts Club have been getting creative as they interpreted what home meant to them. Using any medium they desired they all put their own spin on the concept and ended up with individual and surely beautiful creations. This semester they decided to make a uniform craft, or as uniform a craft can be when it comes to Hogwarts most creative minds. Candle making was on the agenda and if you smell anything nice in the dorm that might be it.

The SDA was also busy practicing their spell skills and most importantly using their shield charm. Which is very important indeed. You’re unlikely to get far in a duel or any kind of situation if you can’t a good Protego after all.

And last but certainly not least here at the Hogwarts Monthly we have been hard at work putting this issue together just for you. Same goes for those over in the Accio! Club who are still hard at work putting together the yearbook that should be out to everyone soon. If any of these clubs interest you, don't be afraid to sign up next year at the club fair!
Quidditch is always a highlight of the year at Hogwarts, and this year has been no exception!

My understanding of Quidditch is fairly limited to the knowledge that my brother plays it, so I've done my best to channel what I think he would say about the matches. I also didn't watch them, so information may not be accurate. (Someone else really should have written this one...)

The first match of the year was Huiflepufff versus Ravenclaw, and it was also the longest in a year of fairly short showdowns. Both teams played their hardest, but it was Head Boy and Captain Felix Carnahan who ended it in a victory for Hufflepuff, which was very nice for him. The final score was 180-10.

Following that, Gryffindor and Slytherin faced off, both Seekers playing their best. Gryffindor Captain and Seeker Rāwhiti Te Rangi put in a good effort and I think Louis would be very proud of him, but it was Slytherin Captain Avery Lancaster who pulled out the win for Slytherin in another quick victory, 170-10.

The showdown between Ravenclaw and Gryffindor was even shorter, with neither side even having tie to score a goal before Ravenclaw Captain Hamish Reid managed to secure the win in his final match, 150-0.

The championship was a longer match, with both sides giving it their all before Felix Carnahan pulled through the win for Hufflepuff, securing the cup 170-0.

If previous matches had seemed short though, it was no competition for the international match between Hufflepuff and Beauxbatons. Players barely had a chance to take off before Felix Carnahan repeated his tremendous feat, the snitch practically magnetised to his hand. The game ended 150-0 mere minutes into play, putting Carnahan in the running for possibly the greatest player in Hogwarts history.

That was the Quidditch this year, I hope everyone enjoyed it and best of luck to Ravenclaw next year!
School Dances
By Giulia Alcott (Rowan)
Holidays are always a special time at Hogwarts, and this year was no exception. From October to February, it feels as though every few weeks there's a new celebration to enjoy with your friends, as everyone brings out their best outfits and dances the night away.

The Halloween feast was an extravaganza of spooks and scares as ever, with plenty of games and activities to enjoy throughout the night. The highlight as ever was the costume contest however, our deserving winners this year being;

Best Overall: Summer Irvine, as an angel
Most Scary: Zerrin Fergusson as a zombie
Best Magically Enhanced: Sky Eriksen as a plant-powered android
Most Traditional: Teddy Pirrip, as a bedsheet ghost
Most Ridiculous: Friday Weeks, as a chanel bag
Best Group: Penelope Marshall and Emmanuel Okoye as Barbie and Ken

To celebrate the end of the first semester, the Yule Ball was a perfect occasion for students to dress their best and dance the night away. The wintery decorations were nostalgic for international students from the northern hemisphere, and a miniature indoor lake to ice skate on. With gifts for all, it was a perfect way to end the semester.

Finally on the dance calendar was the favourite of couples everywhere, Valentines day. With rose petals, heart balloons, and plenty of cosy tables, the Great Hall was decorated as a couple's delight. There was plenty of romantic music for dancing, and even singles could enjoy the atmosphere and snacks available.

Aunt Meg
By Lorenzo Vero (Kiersten) (Image Source)
Dearest Aunt Meg,
I have the BIGGEST crush on this boy, but I'm worried he thinks I'm annoying. He doesn't seem to want to talk to me when we're in class, but he'll talk to me when it's one on one. How can I make him like me back?
Impatient Ida

Dear Ida,
Maybe he doesn't want to talk to you in class because he's focused on his studies, and it has nothing to do with whether he has feelings for you. I don't have much romantic experience, but I would assume that if you have to make someone like you, maybe they aren't worth your time. Wouldn't time be better spent with friends who already like you for who you are?

Aunt Meg,
I have decided that school is just not for me anymore. I want to leave and start a band with my friends and make music and art. How do I tell my parents?
Ready to Go

Dear Ready to Go,
I'm not sure how old you are, but I would think talking it over with your parents and a trusted professor might be helpful first. Even if you have no interest in working a Ministry job, school is important to be great witches and wizards. Think about what you might be missing if you leave, too!

Hey Aunt Meg,
My brother has been giving people advice, but he's not being as honest and blunt as he should be. Some of these people make terrible life choices, and his idea of "advice" isn't that great either? What would suggest to get him to stop?

Dear Anonymous,
I suspect your brother is already aware of your feelings, but I would say that you should talk to him instead of trying to reach him through the school newspaper.
Looking for Romance? Consider A Career At Hogwarts!
By Aine Thompson (Camilla)
Is Hogwarts Safe?
By Helios Obasi (Emzies)
Let’s face it, being a student at a wizarding school is filled with occupational hazards. The one sport that we actually have to play carries a serious concussion risk, we’re actively encouraged to cast impeding spells on each other for competition under direct professor supervision, and we also happen to be teenagers. Eventually, we need to turn to the professors and school nurses for aid.

Which is why, dear readers, we should be assured that the people employed by the school to provide healthcare and education are dedicated to their work, reliable, and focused when they need to be.

So it brings me no joy to put that very notion into question. But for those of you that aren’t aware, it’s something of an open secret that all our nurses happen to also be in relationships with professors. Once or twice may be a coincidence, but three? Who knew that the Hospital Wing had a stash of love potions on hand?

Of course, I’m not suggesting that the nurses and professors aren’t also humans and shouldn’t be entitled to personal lives and romance. Frankly, that should be none of our business. It’s a common phrase in the muggle world that one should “never date in the workplace”, or that one shouldn’t “mix business with pleasure”. Should these relationships go sour, where does that leave our school’s healthcare? And our education, for that matter? I could question our school’s lack of personal health education, too, but that’s a whole other can of worms that’s a bit too much for this publication.

Department of Education, should you read this for some reason, send me an owl to discuss.

I assume, of course, that being adults the nurses and professors are mature enough to avoid mixing their personal and professional lives. At least, one would certainly hope so. But maybe the staff need to have the opportunity to get out more to avoid having to date within the workplace in the first place. Goodness knows, the last thing anyone wants to associate with dating after high school is, well, high school.
Dear Hogwarts Monthly readers, most of you will not know who I am, but my name is Helios Obasi, and I am a first year student. It is the end of my first year at this school, and over the last 10 months I have been compiling all the issues and problems I have noticed in the school. These range from the innate - moving stairs - to the downright dangerous - unguarded lake. I was doing these things to answer the question, Is Hogwarts Safe? My conclusion, no. Hogwarts is not safe.

There are many reasons for this, but it should be noted that despite only being in it’s 50th or so year, there have been at least three deaths on school grounds. One in the lake, one at the rosebush and one in the forest. Two of these deaths have markers, the third does not. Following the death at the lake, which was an accidental drowning, the school has done nothing to improve the safety of the lake. It ASSUMES that we can all swim, when any seasoned swimmer will say that ANYONE can run the risk of drowning. Why, then, has there been no effort to improve things, to have a lifeguard, to strike a deal with the creatures of the lake to ensure the safety of the students. I have heard grumblings that the minister for magic, a former student of this school, who was head girl at the time of the drowning, campaigned with a promise to improve things, but have we seen anything? Have our professors been pushing back on these necessary asks of the minister?

Worse still, in my inspections of the water, I have spoken with many students who all believe the claim that there might just be a giant creature that lives within the water. I have not seen it, nor have I have seen sufficient evidence to believe the rumours, however, the lack of action from our professors to confirm or deny, or to check is astounding. If there is a creature in the water, surely it is in our interests to know, to be aware of it, to ensure that it doesn’t accidentally eat one of us. After all, what if the drop out rate at Hogwarts is only supposedly high because students keep vanishing into the water? Are our professors covering for it, telling us lies about transferring out or homeschooling, when in fact they’ve been eaten. If we force professors to tell us, and empty the lake so we can know for sure, will we only find the BONES of those students.

The grounds of school are littered with dangers, the forbidden forest is the only thing to be forbidden and yet appears to just be open and anyone can just physically walk in, the cliffs are banned too, but I’ve never heard or been privy to a conversation which indicates that the professors or prefect patrol that area. Would we know if a student slipped off the edge. Why hasn’t the school invested in a simple railing. A simple guard which would protect all the students. At the very least, the school can claim an effort to our protection.

There are some who’ll claim that the areas will be protected by magic, but we won’t know that, for sure unless they say - which they haven’t - or if something terrible were to happen.

Fellow students, in the next issue I will highlight more problems as I discover them, but please consider joining my cause in making Hogwarts actually safe.
By Margo Fox (Kadi)
Aries (March 21 - April 20): A leadership role might present itself to you soon. Push aside any anxiety or uncertainty and accept without fear. This is what you’re good at, with your enthusiasm and confidence.

Taurus (April 21 - May 20): You may be the emotional rock for your friends and family, which can be stressful. But just know how much they appreciate your stability and devotion. Your emotional labor may pay off soon.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20): Making decisions can be hard for you and sometimes not making a decision is its own choice. If you are facing a crossroads in life, take time to consider all options in front of you, even if it might not be obvious at first.

Cancer (June 21 - July 20): Your creative nature really shows when you are most comfortable. If you are having trouble finding inspiration, take some time to consider what is blocking you and what you could change that would improve your comfort.

Leo (July 21 - Aug 22): Never one to shy away from a problem or a performance. Sometimes you need to focus on listening first. Next time you feel the urge to speak before you think, pause and take a moment to see if your voice really needs to be the loudest.

Virgo (Aug 23 - Sep 22): With the semester coming to an end, your hard work is most likely paying off. It might not come naturally to celebrate a job well done but don’t forget to realize how far you’ve come when you finally do come up for air.

Libra (Sep 22 - Oct 22): Always focusing on fairness can be exhausting when life isn’t always fair. You can do what you can to stand up for what’s right but some things are out of control and not your fault.

Scorpio (Oct 22 - Nov 21): Your communication skills and passion can take you far even if sometimes you are misunderstood to be manipulative. But that’s just because people don’t understand, don’t hold that against them.

Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21):
Structure is not where you thrive but is a fact of life that is hard to work around. If you start to feel trapped, make an effort to get outside and connect with nature. It will likely do you some good.

Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19): With the semester coming to a close, your self control will be tested to get that last minute studying done. But if anyone can do it it’s you. Also a gift for your professors will likely go a long way too.

Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18): You may have a tendency to avoid emotional situations but it is important to face things head on or you may be left feeling lonely or left out. Face the hard conversations in your life to move forward on a positive note.

Pisces (Feb 19th - March 20th): Trusting people comes easy to you and don’t let other people’s actions take that from you. It can be scary if trust is broken but don’t shy away from others. Keep yourself open to new possibilities.

By Gemma Delaney (Sam) (Image by Sam)

Muggle Moment
By Lorenzo Vero (Kiersten) (Image Source)
Hello Fashionistas! Welcome to another bit of fashion advice from your style savvy journalist. This semester is full of love! But let's add a little nature to the mix. Do you love the outdoors? Do you love flowers? I know I personally can only answer yes to one of those questions. But whether or not your love the so called "great outdoors" you can bring a little inside with you. This semester's accessory is Pressed Flower Accessories.

Pressed Flower Accessories bring the wonderful look of nature without actually have to deal with any of the gross elements. You can wear a flower around your neck (in lovely necklace form like the pictures above) or press one into a ring to have a bit of love with you wherever you go!

These accessories are so versatile. They can be any colour or flower design that you'd like. You can dye the flowers even if you prefer a more colourful approach that even nature can't give you! So go on out to the stores (or to the gardens if you are brave) and start brightening up your outfits with florals!
In all the free time I have not studying for OWLs, which is not much time, I've been reading up on muggle cleaning habits. While you wouldn't think there'd be much of a difference, the absence of cleaning spells has led to muggles coming up with some nifty ideas to keep things sanitary. For example, there is a liquid called hand sanitizer, which, does exactly what it sounds like - sanitizes hands. It's a goopy liquid that some wizard scholars have equated to smelling like firewhiskey. I'm not sure why you want your hands to smell like that, but supposedly they can also infuse it with herbs and other sweet smelling things to mask the scent. Muggle healers say that using the sanitizer can help prevent illness, but I can assure you, this invention with not stop you from getting Dragon Pox.

Hugo's Book Club
The Wee Free Men
By Hugo Stark-West (Mia)

Hugo's Book Club
Animal Farm
By Hugo Stark-West (Mia)
Anyone who knows me knows I am a big book lover. Especially fantasy books. And Terry Pratchett is one of my favourite authors. My Owl, Von Lipwig, is named after one of his characters. But. That is not important to my review. As Moist doesn’t appear in The Wee Free men at all. If you are unfamiliar with Disc World, it is a collection of books set in the same universe but covering a few different arcs that can generally be read in any order without reading the others. The Wee Free Men is the first book in the Tiffany Aching branch.
You can’t grow a good witch on chalk. Witches need firm hard stuff to grow on. But no one told nine-year-old Tiffany Aching, the daughter of a long line of sheep farmers, that. One afternoon while playing by the river Tiffany saves herself and her brother from Jenny Greenteeth, a water Bogart. From then on, things start getting weirder. It starts when she recognises Jenny is a creature from the book of children’s stories her family owns. Then comes a clan of small blue, Scottish pictsies who while being rather rowdy, and try to steal a sheep, help her out with her chores in the dairy as penance so as not to upset her, the new hag of the hill. Things start to get weirder with a visit from a headless horseman before her younger brother goes missing. While Tiffany doesn’t necessarily like her little brother, she does love him (which I am sure is the case with many siblings, yes, Violet I am looking at you), and she takes it on herself to find him. With the help of the wee free men, also called the Nac Mac Feegles, and a talking toad, she ventures off to save him.

The Wee Free Men is a good book and a great introduction to the disc world. And I would recommend it. I will end this review with some words of wisdom and witchcraft.

“The thing about witchcraft, is that it's not like school at all. First you get the test, and then afterward you spend years findin' out how you passed it. It's a bit like life in that respect”

“If you trust in yourself. . .and believe in your dreams. . .and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.”
Hello, and welcome back to Hugos Book Club. This time, we are reading a muggle book that is over 125 years old. Animal Farm by George Orwell.

I know it sounds like a picture book for kids, but I promise you it is not. My mum said it was a book that everyone should read at least once, and she knows her books.

Written as an analogy for Russian history in the early 20th century, it could be a warning about politics and power at any time or place. The importance of the book can be seen by how many places and schools still ban it.

The story starts on Manor Farm when the animals come to listen to an old wise pig, Old Major (representing Karl Marx), talk about an ideal world where animals look after themselves and do not need human farmers (ruling class). Soon after, the animals revolt and remove Mr Jones from their farm, now called animal farm. They set some rules for Animalism (communism). The most important are:
1, Whatever goes upon two legs is an enemy.
2, Whatever goes upon four legs, or has wings, is a friend.
7. All animals are equal.
Which can be shortened to “four legs good, two legs bad”

At the start, the farm works well under the animals with weekly open discussions and votes of management. All the animals are motivated, and the first harvest is successful. However, as time passes, the smart pigs start to lead discussions, idealistic Snowball (a combination of Trotsky and Lenin) and headstrong Napoleon (Stalin). Snowball’s plan to build a windmill to provide for the animals and do some of their work for them is rebutted by Napoleon. However, once Snowball is expelled from the farm and Napoleon takes over, he decides the windmill is a good idea.

All the animals work hard on it, rebuilding it several times after it gets destroyed. Especially Boxer, the loyal but not very smart horse whose mottos are “I will work harder” and “Napoleon is always right”, wanting to do all he can before he retires.

Slowly, the pigs take more from the other animals and start living in more and more luxury, moving into the farmhouse and selling produce to buy alcohol and dog biscuits where, whereas the rest of the animals slowly starve, and the rules slowly change. However, the animals don’t realise until:
“The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again, but already it was impossible to say which was which.”
the rules had become
“All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others"
“Four legs good, two legs better”.

There is a lot to take from the book, even if it is short. Revolutionise a corrupt system, but don’t be complacent in your freedom; you may be more suppressed than you thought. And we are not truly free until everyone is free. And just because you stood for something good in the past doesn’t mean that you cant be as bad as what you once stood against.
Student Poll
"What advice would you give to yourself at the start of first year?"
By Giulia Alcott (Rowan)
Morrie Ayre
Slytherin First Year
"Easy - stay home!"
Benicio Matos
Hufflepuff Second Year
"Say yes to every invitation you receive."
Fraser Fergusson
Gryffindor Third Year
"You'll be okay."
Ruto Vernier-Raison
Ravenclaw Fourth Year
"Fear not, as most is what you'll expect. And if you look a little closer, you may even find your home."
Penelope Marshall
Hufflepuff Fifth Year
"I would tell myself not to worry so much, that I wouldn't be behind everyone else and to enjoy my time here."
Cameron Roswell
Slytherin Sixth Year
"One friend is enough."
Eston Spencer
Gryffindor Seventh Year
"Don't worry if you don't have it figured out. I'm pretty sure no one does."
Professor Eleanor Schmidt
Arithmancy Years 5-7
"Just be yourself, and have as much fun as you can!"
Editor's Note
By Giulia Alcott (Rowan)
This issue has been a particularly special one for a variety of reasons, not just its length as a bumper double issue, but the fact that it marks the end of my time at Hogwarts, and as an editor on the Monthly. I have to give my most heartfelt thanks to the Hogwarts Monthly team. None of this would happen without their hard work, and for many writers this article represents a double helping of effort. Representing an entire year in one paper isn't an easy task, and they all rose to the challenge beautifully.

Hogwarts Monthly is a special part of the school, a place where we all come to share, from the shyest first year to the busiest seventh year. We tell each other stories, celebrate each other's triumphs, and get a little wiser together. It's been an honour to be part of its amazing legacy, in so many ways. I could barely speak English when I joined the paper, as a way to boost my skills and gain confidence. I never imagined I would wind up in charge, with so many people's trust, and it's been an extremely terrifying honour. I doubt I would feel connected to the people of Hogwarts in the same way if it hadn't been for the Monthly.

Thank you again to the team, thank you to you for reading, and I hope you'll all offer the same support to next year's co-editors, Margo Fox and Hugo Stark-West.
Helios was very excited to be in his first issue of the monthly. He had been working on it hard, and had thought it would be a good idea to spread the word about it. The hufflepuff hurried into the hall, though he did so at a pace that wouldn't cause him to fall and hurt himself. He found a copy and picked it up. Helios ignored all of the other sections and just looked at his own. This was so cool!

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