Closed Harmony

[Edmund Westwick]

Edmund had made a mistake. Truthfully, he had made many. It seemed that the last year of his life had been defined by mistakes and loss, all one after the other. And while Edmund had varying levels of responsibility in his other mistakes, there was no denying that his most recent mistake had been entirely a judgement error on his own behalf. He should have known Diana well enough to know what she was doing, should have recognised that she wasn't really interested in spending time with him, should have gone with Analei instead. Somehow someone who was actually kind was interested in him, and Edmund had squandered his best chance already, acting like an idiot. Ever since the terrible events of the Valentines Dance Edmund had been looking for Analei, desperately trying to find the girl to give her the apology he owed her, but somehow she seemed to escape his search every time. The only time Edmund had managed to track her down, she had been at the spin the bottle game with Diana, and there was no chance of Edmund staying in that situation, though ever since Edmund had found himself wondering with a racing heart if the two of them had kissed. It was difficult to keep it off his mind, though he did his best, trying to focus on the apology he owed.

Finding Analei had been an extremely difficult task but finally, finally Edmund saw her up ahead of him in the corridor, and his heart leaped into his throat. Not wanting to waste a moment, Edmund pushed past a couple of younger students to reach her, sweating slightly with nerves as he approached. "Analei, I owe you an apology." Edmund said quickly as soon as he caught up to her, not wanting to give Analei the chance to dodge him before hearing why he wanted to talk. "Can we talk?"

 

[Analei Westwick]

The last few days, Analei had struggled to focus on her studying. It was driving her insane, and she knew that she had to sort something out, or her grades would slip. But her mind was all over the place, and she really just wanted school to hurry up and be finished so she could go home, and properly process things; and properly get over things. Analei had gotten over Simon fast enough - though her cheeks still flushed when she saw him - but she didn't know why her mind couldn't get over Edmund. The blonde had lamented about it to Arvel and was sure he was probably getting sick of hearing about it by now. Still, whenever the Hufflepuff saw that certain Ravenclaw - whether it was him or his brother - she turned and went in the opposite direction as fast as possible. She just needed to avoid even seeing him for the next few weeks, and then it'd be holidays.
It wasn't that Analei expected him to talk to her - it was more the fact that she just didn't want to see him, or run into him. Would he expect her to talk to him? What would she say? She hadn't gone to any more piano lessons. But her exams were coming up and she had to focus on them anyway.
Analei was making her way to her Common Room when out of nowhere, the very person she was trying to avoid caught her. It took a moment for his words to sink in, but she felt herself getting angry. When he asked if they could talk, she shrugged her shoulders. "I have nothing to say."

 

[Edmund Westwick]

Edmund didn't know how he had expected Analei to react, but her words struck him at his core. He knew she was hurt, but the anger in his voice was more intense than he had expected. It was difficult to gather his thoughts, and part of Edmund wanted to give up, walk away and leave her be and wallow in his own misery. But he had already come this far, and it wouldn't do to let his own mistakes win, or to walk away from Analei again. "Then... just let me talk. Please?" He asked nervously, palms sweating as he fidgeted slightly. "I... what I did at the dance was inexcusible." Edmund could hear the tremble in his own voice, struggling to find the words he had spent weeks agonising over. "You deserve better than how I behaved. I've been trapped in the past, and I should have let it go a lot sooner. I'm... very sorry for hurting you." Edmund took a nervous breath, glancing at Analei for a moment before looking down. "I... your rose scared me." He admitted, trying to get everything out while he could. This moment felt all-or-nothing, and Edmund was in too deep to choose the nothing option anymore. "You're... such a good person, and I'm... I've never spent time with someone like you. I... I've grown to admire you a lot, but... I've been afraid I would let you down. Which... now, clearly, I already have." Edmund's voice faltered as he realised he didn't know where he was going anymore. "I'm sorry." He added again to cap it off, and finally the rush of words that had escaped him slowed to a stop.

 

[Analei Westwick]

The fact that Edmund seemed nervous to talk to her proved that she was right in her anger. He knew he had done something wrong and she wasn't just overreacting. The thought made her feel bad somehow, but she pushed that feeling away - he was the one in the wrong - not her. Analei shrugged again when he asked if he could talk and she looked at the ground rather than at him. But when he mentioned the dance, she couldn't help but look at him. It took a bit for what he was saying to sink in. He had worded it all so well, Analei had to stop herself from forgiving him straight away. It was hard remember the hurt and anger she had just been feeling when the guy she still liked was standing in front of her and apologizing. When Edmund mentioned the rose, Analei looked down. She was definitely going to stop sending roses. His part about her being a good person made her scoff - he'd obviously never spoken to Diana about her - or Jacob - or any other student that had a vendetta against her. Analei nodded her head as he finished. "Thank you for apologizing." Analei said, looking at the ground, trying to not feel swept off her feet. Taking a deep breath, she looked at Edmund. "If Diana didn't show up - what would you have said? And - and when she did, were you hoping to get back with her?" Analei said, quietly.

 

[Edmund Westwick]

Edmund felt as though his heart had forgotten how to beat. Waiting for Analei's response was without a doubt one of the most tense moments of his life, as Edmund desperately hoped he hadn't managed to lose her as a friend, as well as ruining any chance there may have been for more to happen between them. He couldn't help the small breath of relief when Analei accepted his apology, though he had mere moments to relish the feeling before she asked what had to be the worst two questions it was possible to ask. It felt as though he was speaking around a lump of coal in his throat as Edmund struggled to answer her, feeling more and more as though this had been a hopeless venture. Perhaps it would have been wiser to consider their friendship a lost cause and keep his distance. "I... I was." Edmund stammered out, hands trembling. "But I... I realised immediately what a mistake it was. She only... she saw us talking and only wanted to hurt us, because that's... the kind of person she is, and I'm... I'm an idiot for not realising sooner that she... I let the past blind me, and it's not going to happen again. I don't want anything more to do with her." Regardless of how things went with Analei, that was a decision Edmund had made for himself. However unfair their breakup had been, there was nothing good to be gained from any more time spent with Diana now. It was over, and he needed to accept that. "And... I don't know what I was going to say." He answered honestly, thinking back to that moment. "I... thought it was rather more likely that you had sent me the wrong colour by accident. I... it's hard to know what to say. But... I... I sincerely enjoy spending time with you, and... I would very much like to spend more." Edmund's voice took on even more of a tremble as he spoke, struggling to keep his eyes on Analei's face. He didn't know what he would do now, if faced with yet another rejection.

 

[Analei Westwick]

The struggle Edmund had to answer Analei, seemed to answer her questions anyway. When he said he was hoping to rekindle things with Diana, Analei looked at the ground and felt her heart sink. She had known that was the case; why else did he stay and dance with her? Why else did he not follow her when she walked away? Edmund continued speaking, and Analei looked back up when he said he didn't want anything else to do with her. Analei wondered if it was just because Diana wasn't keen on getting back together. Was Analei still just a second choice or had he really changed his mind? Analei let a small smile show on her face when he suggested she had sent the wrong color and she shook her head, though he already knew that. Analei sighed slightly when he said he enjoyed spending time with her, and he wanted to spend more. The Hufflepuff didn't know how to feel. Faced with the guy that she really really liked, apologizing to her and wanting to spend more time with her - she would be stupid to not spend time with him. But she was hurt, and did he want to spend time with her as friends, or more? Analei didn't know if she could handle just being friends with him. He was supposed to be her first kiss.
"I... well, you know how I feel Edmund. I, do want to spend time with you, but - I just don't know. I don't know what I'm thinking. Or feeling. I don't know what else to say."

 

[Edmund Westwick]

For the first time since Valentines, Edmund felt a glimmer of hope at the smile on Analei's face. The last almost year of his life had felt like one doomed endeavour after another, and it was a relief to for once feel as though something may go right. When Analei's words were less optimistic he struggled to cling to that spark of hope, reaching out instinctively to take her hand as he spoke. "Just... give me a chance. Please? I know I haven't been fair to you, but... I want to be. I want to do better."

 

[Analei Westwick]

When Edmund took her hands, Analei felt her heart flutter. Well that was entirely unfair - how was she supposed to give a straight answer now? The blonde enjoyed the feeling of her hands in his. Of course she wanted to spend more time with him - especially if more hand holding was going to be involved. Analei looked at their hands as Edmund spoke, the words slowly sinking in. Looking back up at the boy, she realized she felt lighter than she had in ages. She gave him a small smile. "Maybe we can start piano lessons again or something." Analei offered. She still wasn't sure what kind of relationship Edmund wanted, but at that moment, if she got to spend more time with him in any capacity, she was happy.

 

[Edmund Westwick]

The crystal of hope in Edmund's heart only grew when Analei didn't pull her hands away, and when she smiled he returned it, face splitting into a broad, nervous grin. "That sounds perfect." Edmund said happily, hand trembling slightly. He had come so close to disaster, to losing the only person who still cared about him, and the hope that maybe that wouldn't be the case buoyed him. He would still have Analei in his life after all, and whatever more there may be between them, they could negotiate as time continued.