Figuring things out......finally

[Julie Bennett-Drage]

Julie had said goodbye to the trio of teenagers a few hours ago. She was happy that they all had moved past the night when Estrella discovered that the man living next door to her -- and her boyfriend -- was Estrella's father in hiding. Hiding from what, she had no idea. She was still pissed off at him for full out lying to her about who he was and what he was. Ethan, no Tristan, was hiding from something, that much she had figured out, but she had no idea what was going on. To be honest, she had no real desire to even find out what his explanation for all of this was. Every day since the fight, she slammed the door in his face when he would come to try to apologize to her. She was still livid with him for lying to her. He had so many chances in the past to tell her the truth. Tristan told her about his magical abilities, even apparating her to the top of the Empire State Building one night after they had watched Sleepless in Seattle. He explained about that part of his life, but never once revealed his real name or his connection to her family.

Earlier that day, Julie and Estrella had taken a chance to talk. Estrella had encouraged her to let him explain. They had come to terms with the situation while she was here visiting, and made an uneasy truce for now. Now it was her turn to listen to him. Estrella made a point of telling her to give him a break. It hurt every time Julie saw him out the window playing with the kids in the yard. She wanted to be out there with him, with their kids, and acting like nothing ever happened. Her heart just hurt each time she saw him. She had fallen in love with him for the first time since Eliza's father passed away. He made her feel complete, and now she felt like he had ripped her life to shreds

Taking Estrella's advice, Julie decided to sit out on her patio. She was going to give him a chance to explain if he felt like trying again. If he did not approach her, she was not going to chase him down. She figured that if he made the effort, she would try to be open. Julie was heartbroken, there was no other way to put it.

She leaned back in the patio chair, playing online with her laptop computer. Ethan/Tristan always was fascinated by her use of the computer. She chatted via instant messenger with some school friends of hers that lived out of state regularily and she conversed with Katherine for a bit this evening while she watched Eliza playing on the swings.

Katherine says:
hey jules! so what's up with ethan?
Julie says:
hey katherine! he is a putz to be nice about it
Julie says:
he told me a bunch of lies and i caught him in it
Julie says:
i am pissed to say the least
Katherine says:
oh gosh that sucks so bad
Katherine says:
i'm really sorry about that
Julie says:
thanks
Katherine says:
did he even try to explain why he lied?
Julie says:
turns out he has a daughter that he did not tell me about with my cousin!
Julie says:
and he has tried, i have not been willing to hear it
Katherine says:
oh dear lord he has a daughter?
Katherine says:
and it's with your cousin? thats just sick
Katherine says:
can't say i much blame you on that
Julie says:
i agree. she was here to visit and he came outside and low and behold, she busted daddy
Katherine says:
what a jerk i swear, where do you pick these guys up haha
Julie says:
hey! thanks a lot. like you do any better. silly girl.
Katherine says:
well that's the truth LOL
Julie says:
ugh. he just came outside. i should go. he is heading over this way.
Katherine says:
oi vey alright let me know how things go
Julie says:
i will. catch you later hun!
Katherine says:
buh bye chick

Julie logged off the messenger quickly and shut the top of her laptop so Ethan/Tristan would not be able to see what was going on. She steeled herself for the conversation she knew was about to follow.

 

[Tristan Drage]

Tristan had made many fruitless attempts to get back in touch with Julie, but always, always, he was given the cold shoulder. The man was beginning to think that his efforts were pointless. He knew that he had a lot to answer for, and that he had practically torn her life to shreds. It hadn't been fair of him to lie- but he kept trying to remind himself that it was to protect her. With the cat out of the bag, there was really nothing he could do now. The Death Eater in him had considered using the Obliviation Charm to make her forget that it had ever happened- but with what occured the last time he had used that particular spell, the other person in him didn't allow him to risk it. In any case, he didn't think he'd be able to do it if he tried.

His daughter, her cousin and her friend had left Wisconsin and had headed back to the place in Minnesota. He knew that Estrella and Lily would be returning to the Herrogard soon- and then school. Now, it was just him, Erik, Julie, and Eliza. Everything back to normal. Or, he thought sourly, far from it.

Usually, he spent his days off work with Julie. Now, he had nothing to do. The man stepped outside for a smoke, looking down as he lit up his cigar. He glanced back up, starting just a bit as he viewed the woman he loved, sitting on the patio. With that computer thing or whatever it was called. He would never begin to understand muggle technology.

Stamping out the cigar, he took a deep breath. Julie was very adamant about not speaking to him, and probably wouldn't give him the time of day this time around. But one thing Tristan could say about himself was that he was persistent. If she would take the time to listen to him, he was sure that she would harbor some sort of understanding.

Cautiously approaching the patio, he greeted, "Hello, Julie. Can I speak with you for a moment?" He was most positive that the answer would be no, but that would be nothing new. There were other days, other times. The man was trying to be as optimistic as possible- even though he had always been terribly cruddy with his relationships.

 

[Julie Bennett-Drage]

Julie felt her heart lurch into her throat as he approached. She took a few deep breathes to try to calm her nerves. She was still livid with the man, but she could not deny that she absolutely and truly loved him. He asked to speak with her, yet again, but this time she did not have the usual door to slam in his face.

"A moment? You think it will take simply a moment to explain your way out of this mess that you created?" she said, her words dripping in sarcasm. She hoped that it would cover the desire that she felt for the man, no matter what his name was. She refrained from saying no and from saying yes. She didn't want to give him the impression that she was anxious to speak with him, but for a change did not want to push him away completely.

The truth was she missed the man. It hurt her to push him away every day since the revelation, but now she wanted to honor Estrella's request of giving him a chance to explain.

 

[Tristan Drage]

Tristan listened to Julie speak, flinching a little bit at her retort. He hated to hear her voice displayed in such a hostile manner. The man knew that he deserved it in full, and he hoped to Merlin that somehow, someway, he could fix it. He knew that with some of the things that he had done in his life there was no going back and repairing, but he wanted to do as much as he could.

Swallowing hard, he replied simply, "No, I don't." Of course, he had meant more than a moment- heck, he could sit here talking for days, but he decided not to add that. He did note, however, that she had not given him a definite yes or no. Slowly, tentatively, he took a seat in one of the patio chairs, hoping that she would not try to rake out his last eye with her fingernails. He had a feeling that that would be even more painful than the 'Defodio' his father had cast.

He grimaced at the creak that the patio chair gave beneath him. He was not fat in any case, but being overly large did have its downsides. Fighting the urge to give her a grin- which he was fairly sure wouldn't go over well- he tried to figure out where to start. If he expected to be able to stay here he knew that he better start explaining, and fast.

"I am sorry for any hurt that I have caused you," he began, his voice low, "But for all the lies that I told, my intentions were good. At least, I believed they were good. You see- I didn't want you, or anyone else for that matter, to get hurt."

 

[Julie Bennett-Drage]

Julie watched cautiously as Tristan moved onto the patio and took a seat. It took everything she had to not laugh as the chair creaked under his massive body. He was extremely tall and very well built, causing him to appear huge. The sound of the chair was rather like the sound of a bodily function that normally would send her into a fit of childish giggles. She reminded herself that she was pissed at Ethan/Tristan and laughing was probably not a good idea right at that moment.

As she listened to the beginnings of his explanation, the anger came rushing back. "Oh, yes. I forgive EVERYTHING right now for that lame apology," she said, sarcastically. "You may not have wanted to hurt me, but you did. What are you hiding from? What is with all the secrecy? I want the truth, not another bunch of bull." Julie crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at the man sitting across the table from her.

 

[Tristan Drage]

Tristan attempted to get comfortable where he was sitting, but obviously, this patio chair was not built for people nearly seven feet tall and accordingly built. His ice blue eyes scanned Julie, his expression observant, calculating. It was a plus that she was willing to listen today- that meant that he might get somewhere after all. He had long since given up being hopeful, but he wasn't going to be blaming himself for not trying in the long run.

Shifting rather nervously in his seat, his throat knotted up as he tried to formulate a substantial answer. "I know that it is lame. But it is true." He paused for a moment before speaking, attempting to gather his breath. The man was still trying to figure out how much he should be telling her of the Death Eaters. With every other woman he had been with, he had not had to explain what they were, either because they didn't inquire or they were one themselves.

"When I was about nineteen-" he started, "I got involved in a group, a very bad group at that." He thought about comparing the Death Eaters to the Ku Klux Klan or Nazis, but that might not be such a good idea. "I was young, I was stupid. I didn't know what I was tossing myself into- and since my father was in it, and my brother had joined, and friends all around me, I didn't see anything bad with it. This group was radical- an object of terror in the wizarding world. I didn't realize until after I had joined what I had gotten into. I found out that there was no turning back."

His lip pursed as he looked back to her, and with a sigh, he said, "This group is called the Death Eaters," as he slid his sleeve over his taut forearm, revealing the Dark Mark. "And they are not a matter of was- but is. There is no leaving them- but I left them." He had her look at it for a moment before pulling his sleeve back down to his wrist. "The books got it all wrong," he murmured, looking back to her. She may hate him for this, but at least, it was the truth as she had asked.

"I've been trying to change for my son," he said quietly. "My brother killed the woman I loved. I owe it to her to raise Erik around the best, not hate and deceit." He swallowed hard. "Even if it meant leaving them."

His gaze was narrowed as he tried to figure out what was going through Julie's mind. "That was why I moved here and changed my name. So that they would never find me or my son." He knew that if he crossed paths with the other Death Eaters, with a few exceptions, he would be signing on for his own demise. He pointed a finger at his eye. "And this," he added, "Was not the result of a car accident."

 

[Julie Bennett-Drage]

Julie leaned back in the chair she was sitting in as she listened. Estrella must know about most of this and that is why she told me to give him a chance to explain, she thought. She assessed the information that he was sharing with her, and as he finished, she resisted asking instantly about his eye and what really happened, but decided to focus on the books. "What do you mean 'the books got it all wrong'?" she asked tentatively. "What books? Wait --" she stammered then, taking a deep breath, found the words to speak.

"Are you telling me that those fiction books that I read in college about that Potter kid are actually true? That he really existed and that the Death Eaters in there are the same ones that you joined?" She knew better than to question the fact that there really were wizards and witches, Tristan had already established that there were and that he was one. "Is there more to those books than some woman's imagination?" Julie was scared to find out that there really were people like the ones in the novels, like the evil leader that kept trying to kill the boy hero.

 

[Tristan Drage]

Tristan gazed back at Julie, waiting for her to piece it together. In no time, she was on the same page at him. So, at least he thought. She had told him in passing once that she had read the books. While a bunch of things in the books were blown up and unrealistic, there were elements in it that spoke of truth.

He nodded. "Indeed, they're true. At least, parts of them- a lot of the things in them are glorified." He shook his head, knowing that he was getting off of the point. "I went to school with that kid. Was two years ahead of him in fact." He swallowed hard as Julie looked back to him. "Yes- much, much more. You-Know-Who- I mean, Voldemort, was real." He shuddered a bit. "And the Death Eaters... well, they still are." He frowned a bit, knowing that this was probably weirding Julie out more than a little bit.

 

[Julie Bennett-Drage]

Julie looked at Tristan with wide eyes. She did not realize that the books were based in reality and it was a bit of a stretch for her to believe it. Then again, before meeting Tristan, she had not believed there were such things as witches and wizards in the world either. Closing her eyes, she decided to put aside the whole issue of the books and get back to the topic. She pinched the bridge of her nose and opened her eyes again. Looking at Tristan through her blue eyes, she finally spoke.

"Ok, so let me get this straight. You were a member of these Death Eaters and you decided to leave them. You changed your name to get away from them to protect yourself and Erik. Ok, I think I get that, but why did you not let your daughter know where you were? Why was that such a secret? And for that matter, why did you abandon her for the majority of her life?" Julie was coming to terms with the idea that he was part of this dangerous group, but she still was hard pressed to understand why he would dump his daughter and not let her know where he was or what he was doing -- something that he had been doing for all of her life.

 

[Tristan Drage]

Tristan sighed as he waited for Julie to speak, fighting the urge to lean back in the chair. If he did, he was afraid that he would break it. Instead he held his hands together in his lap. He frowned as the woman bombarded him with this next slew of questions- which, he should have been expecting. He hadn't however, and thus, was silent for a moment. "Like I said- I was young and stupid. I thought that after Lorelai died, she would be better off living with someone consistent. You see- I wasn't the most responsible of people. I wanted to give her the best I could, and if that meant leaving her with someone else- then I thought, so be it." He sighed. "I always intended to visit her, I really did. I even thought about taking her back on a few occasions." He looked aside, unable to meet Julie's gaze. "And everytime I went to check up on her- well, she seemed so happy, I didn't want to ruin it for her. I never let her know I had come- and Carl always swore to me that he would never tell."

"And as far as now goes- I didn't want her to get hurt. I know several people who wouldn't hesitate for a second to torture her for information- putting aside the fact that she already is half muggle." He knew that when it had come to his daughter he had been a very sad excuse for a father. He wondered how Julie was going to respond, his jaw taut in anticipation.

 

[Julie Bennett-Drage]

Julie raised an eyebrow. "So this group is anti-muggle? And she is in danger just because she is half muggle?" she asked cautiously. If this is what he was a part of for so long, what was he doing with her for these last few months? Was she just a way to entertain himself while he was stuck here? She didn't want to know, but had to. "You were part of this group, a group that thought muggles should be extinct. What was this then, us? Just a diversion while you were here? Do you still think muggles are supposed to be non-existant?" She hoped that the fear she felt over this answer did not show in her eyes. She was beginning to understand why Tristan lied to her and why he was here, but she was afraid that she would not be good enough to be with him in the long run because of her lack of magic.

 

[Tristan Drage]

Tristan sighed a bit as Julie bombarded him with questions that indeed, were difficult for him to answer. Struggling to come up with something substantial, he started, "Well, they're more anti-muggleborn than anything- a muggleborn is a person with magical blood that was born of muggle parents." He stroked at the stubble on his chin as he thought about what she had asked him. "Estrella's condition would be worsened because she did have muggle blood in her, if the wrong person got to her. I am afraid, however, that if my father got wind that she knew where I was- he would be hard pressed to get information out of her. I am both worried for her getting hurt and for them finding out where I am." He shook his head, as if to throw off invisible weight that was bearing down upon him. "They don't take well to deserters, and never have." He shuddered as he thought of the stories he had heard, of people who had gotten cold feet. Most, had never been heard from again.

He braced himself as he continued. Surely, Julie didn't think that she was just something to enjoy for the moment. He truly cared about her- most others, however, he had been with for the aforementioned reason. Tristan never had been willing to committ- as could be seen through women like Lorelai and Lissandra.

"No," he said firmly, "Muggles have as much right to be here as magical folk. It's taken me a long time to realize that." His gaze was soft as he looked back to her, although his disposition was stern. "No- you were not a diversion at all. I care about you, Julie, more than I've cared about anyone else. I'd go as far as to say I love you." He observed her, calculating. He hoped to Merlin that she would see the truth in his eyes, for this time, he was telling it.

 

[Julie Bennett-Drage]

"Why your father? Isn't that who Estrella stays with during the summers? What would he have to do with this? Is he involved in this group too?" Julie asked cautiously. So many thoughts were flowing through her mind as he spoke. Was he really telling the truth? What would happen if they continued on together and one of these Death Eaters discovered his location -- would she or Eliza be in danger just because they were not witches?

Then she heard him say words that they had implied to each other, but never actually voiced out loud. She could see in his eyes that he was telling her the truth. She knew that she loved him, the first man that she had truly cared for since Eliza's father had passed away. She loved him with all of her heart, but was still afraid of what may happen.

"Ethan, I mean, Tristan. Gah. I don't even know what to call you anymore," she said, burying her face in her hands, then shaking her head before looking back up at him. "The only thing that I do know is that I love you, but I am scared. What happens to Eliza and me if someone finds you? I couldn't handle losing you the way that I lost --" She buried her face again as tears threatened to flow down her cheeks.

She couldn't bring herself to mention Eliza's dad's name out loud. It almost felt like she was cheating on him just by even discussing being in love with another man. She knew that they would still be together if he was alive, but that was the problem. He was gone, and Tristan was here - alive and well. She was not supposed to be alone forever. There were so many nights she held these little discussions with herself, trying to relieve her guilt. She had finally worked through it all and was able to admit to herself that she loved Ethan/Tristan and that it was what he had wanted her to do. To move forward with her life. Now, finding out all of this about Tristan made her wonder if this was really what was best, but she knew that no matter what his name was, she loved him.

 

[Tristan Drage]

Tristan bit at his lip as Julie interrogated him even more, his mind racing as he attempted to come up with substantial answers. This time, however, he was not fabricating lies. Nodding his head solemnly, he replied, "My father is still involved. How involved- I'm not sure. He cannot do much because he is the Norwegian Minister of Magic- and constantly in the spotlight." Swallowing hard, he said, "Yes, he managed to obtain Carl's guardianship of her and that is where she has been staying most of the time." His Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he looked back to Julie. He had never intended to fall into a relationship- heck, he hadn't really even wanted to get to know his neighbors- but it had happened and now he would have to deal with it. He hadn't wanted anyone to get hurt, and thus, had kept so many secrets- but now the cat was out of the bag. The man would have to be extra cautious from now on, not that he wasn't already looking over his shoulder at every turn.

A frown curled at Tristan's lips as he listened to Julie, feeling a pang of guilt as she broke down in front of him. He knew full well that he had been a lot of the reason why she was crying right now. His expression softened even more than he possibly could- and out of impulse he reached forward, getting down to his knees and wrapping his arms around her. For some reason, he knew that she wasn't going to push him away. Petting her hair, he murmured quietly, "Don't worry. You'll be safe; I'm here to keep you out of harm's way." He knew that he could not predict what was going to happen in the future, but he truly felt this. He would do whatever he could to keep Julie and her daughter safe, although he knew that just by being around put her in danger.

 

[Julie Bennett-Drage]

As Tristan put his arms around Julie, she melted into him. She felt his hands in her hair and she started to relax finally. This was right and this was where she was supposed to be. Her arms snaked around his massive torso, wrapping around him as much as she could. She snuggled her face into the space under his chin and rested her head on his chest. Hearing his heartbeat, she relaxed more and was able to bring her breathing back to a normal level. Listening to him speak, Julie believed that he would protect both her and Eliza no matter what happened.

Speaking into his chest, not really wanting to move from the comfortable spot, her voice was soft. "I believe you."

Those three words were the best she could do at the moment. Julie was willing to admit that she believed him, everything he had said. She had accepted the fact that there was magic in the world. She was willing to accept that there were Death Eaters and that there were people that would rather see Tristan and her dead than alive. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, catching the scent of his cigar on his shirt and savoring the smell that was distinctively him.

 

[Tristan Drage]

Tristan had nothing but feelings for Julie as he held her tightly, not ever wanting to let go. Her body was warm against his, and he knew that she was the right one. She was the one he knew he had to be with- his long standing feelings with Morgase aside. Morgase was no longer in this world, and he had to move on. He could only imagine that she would want him to, to be happy, and to give Erik a better life than he ever could on his own. He soon found himself locking lips with the woman he loved, pushing forward with a hunger he had not been able to satisfy for a long time.

He felt a surge of happiness as Julie spoke those three words, knowing that he was going to be alright for the time being. Before he knew what he was doing, he pulled back a bit, and murmured, "Marry me?" Not waiting for an answer, he met her lips again, his hand sliding slowly down her back.

 

[Julie Bennett-Drage]

Julie felt her heart skip a beat as Tristan kissed her on the lips. She was completely happy that she had taken Estrella's advice and listened to his side of things. She figured that the younger girl wanted her to give her father a break and Julie was very happy that she did as she threaded her hands through his dark hair. Suddenly, Tristan pulled away, and Julie heard two words that she had not been expecting. Marry me. Then she was crushed in another kiss. Her head swam a bit from all the sensations at once. A few moments later, she pulled back herself, just long enough to answer him. She opened her eyes and stared into his beautiful blue ones. "Yes," was all she said before moving her lips back to his and resuming their kiss. She adored Erik, and Tristan was great with Eliza, and she was utterly in love with Tristan. What could go wrong?

 

[Tristan Drage]

Tristan could not stifle a grin as he heard her answer, his heart feeling as if were going to burst out of his chest. It had been a rash idea- probably not the smartest one, probably one that would put them in more danger. But he didn't care. She had said yes, and would make it his mission to protect her and his family. The large man pushed forth greedily, intention of something other than being out here flickering in his eyes. The kids were not around to disturb them either. He never would have expected this- being with a muggle for one- and now, he was getting married to this very muggle! He almost wondered if he was dreaming, and then, inhaling Julie's scent, he realized this all was real. Very real.