Fighting Loneliness

C

Corvin Blackwood

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OOC First Name
Brandon
Wand
10" Rowan with Pheonix feather core
The club was called the Sixes and it was a hole in the wall smoked filled place full of all sorts of people from all walks of life and it was where people came together to simply connect in there love for a common passion. Corvin had come here since his teen years and had made many friends as well as a few lovers here who taught him everything about Life love and even God sometimes. Corvin sat in the front row and watched a beautiful woman sing a song about fighting off her cancer and how she became stronger which gave Corvin chills. The guy before here had wrote an original poem about love and how crazy it is when you have that made Corvin laughed but felt totally connected. He was of course up next and as he got his pre perfomance jitters he looked around the room looking to see anyone that he knew which he knew he wouldnt but it never stopped him from looking.

The woman finished her song in a tearfukl low note that got a standing appluase and many finger snaps from the rooom. The Mc walked up to the mic and thanked the beautiful woman as a few stage hands moved a few things around and brought out a stool for him to sit on and then the man announced Corvin and gave him around of applaus. Corvin waved a shy hand to the audience and made his way on the stage and took a seat and was handed his guitar as a beautiful woman sat down at a nearby piano.

Corvin began to sing as the words left his mouth and he was no longer the shy boy he was before he was now a Lover singing about heartbreak in his bedroom back home. The words told the story that everyone had been in and he was only painting the picture for everyone to see he was so lost in his words that he reached the end of the song before he realized that the room was silent before the broke out in appluas and snaps. Corvin smiled as he scratched the back of his head in his shy way that he grew up doing.

Performance
 
Aran never was one for large clubs, let alone ones full of skanks and jerks... The Sixes was nice, maybe relaxing if you learned to see past the smoke. The people around him seemed to be so different... A smaller set woman with a nice dress on in one corner, sitting not too far from a heavy man in a pair of jeans and a stained tee-shirt. This was the best thing about it here, in his opinion. It was also a great place to practice sketching people, after all they were all so different that no two pieces of art ended up even remotely similar. The table in the far back was his favorite spot, mostly because he was alone to think and reflect on each piece. As for the poem, it caused him to chuckle a bit. Love was indeed crazy in its own right, though totally worth it if you found the right person. The second performance sent tears into his eyes, though he hid it well with his hat. The woman seemed so strong, so brave...

At the end Aran snapped, standing up. The poor guy hadn't decided to stand up and clap, or sit and snap, so, he just did both. Compromise was a weird way to put it, none the less it was accurate. After a long while he sat, smiling slightly at the next man. He had an interesting face, so that would be who he would attempt to draw tonight. The supplies were already sprawled out around the table, a couple of pencils here, an eraser there, but one thing completely neat was his sketchpad. It was without imperfection, crisp white pages just screaming to be used... It was Aran's canvas, the reason for his very existence.

Honestly, the brunette hadn't expected the other to be so emotional. Most who came up here to sing, if it was about love anyway, just seemed like a lovesick puppy. Not that it was a bad thing, but it became a bit troublesome after a while. To hear someone so passionate in his work was amazing, and made Aran only want to draw him more. He traced the lines delicately, then drew them more refined and added more and more detail. It was like a person, really, layer onto layer onto layer, until the product was finished. With pencil covered fingers, he snapped for him, meeting eyes with him and smiling more. The performer seemed like a nice guy.
 
Corvin made his way off the stage as he was the last perfomance for the evening, the mc thanked all who had performed tonight and reminded everyone that there would be another open mic night same time next week. Corvin noticed someone in the back of the club who had made eye contact with him and had caused Corvin to frown slightly. He was so use to people staring at him for everything he did seemed to cause un wanted attention both good and bad but it was different this time. The man did not appear angry or lustful but rather seemed to admire Corvin as one admire a work of art at museum.

The intensity of the look unnerved Corvin but he decided that he would keep an eye on the guy just the same. The man had a simple look about him nothing to guaty or sleezy but ordinary if ever there was such a thing in this place. His hands were darkned with something that Corvin could not make out but that was nothing odd since the club was a communial place for all types of artist. He seemed nice but Corvin was too shy to approach as he did not want to give the wrong impression a rather tricky thing since most guys thought that Corvin wanted nothing more than to get in there pants when in all honesty he was looking for friends and if by chance he found that someone then so be it but he never thought of people in the romantic way unless they made the first move.

Corvin sat down at his own table and ordered a glass of water, he did not drink booze beside the occassional one or two at a get together, nor did he smoke he found it a rather nasty habit.
 
For a long while, Aran sat, debating on whether or not to show the man what he had drawn. People generally had three different types of reactions. Some were flattered, some were creeped out, and then some just wanted to know how much they had to pay him. Aran didn't mind the first or third options, but the second was always an awkward situation for everyone. His head was resting on his palm, staring down at the newest work created. The singer really didn't seem bad. He had to keep telling himself that, and eventually he stood.

He snuck into the bathroom, it was not the best of them in the least, but at least it had some running water and soap. Being the person he was, he knocked the faucet on with his elbow, then began to rinse off his hands. Aran always tried to look his best when he met someone. The whole 'starving-artist' look was so cliche nowadays. After toweling off he grabbed his sketchbook, then walked over to Corvin's table. "U-Um... Hi! I'm not a sleezy guy or anything... It's just that I saw you perform and I did a sketch of you... I hope you don't mind if you do I can just toss it out..." Dammit, he was rambling. "A-Anyway I just wanted you to know so if you found it off somewhere you wouldn't get creeped out, or you know... Sue me."
 
Corvin had kept his eye on the guy while he sat and went about his business but soon the man disappeared and Corvin Searched around and could not see the guy anywhere. Corvin felt ashmed for being so rude and anti- social but it was hard to trust people these days adn Corvin had been a victim to many times in his life and just could not do it anymore. That is when he realized that he could have missed out on a future friend or even future lover and now he would be destined to spend his days all alone and Corvin new Loneliness to well and that was what drove him to come to the little hole in the wall in the club so that for just one night he could fight being alone and relax. Corvin when back to his drink and in a rather sullen mood. "I am so stupid!"Covrin muttered to himself.

Corvin was about to get up and leave when out of nowhere the young man popped up and nearly scared the living magic out of him, Corvin clutched his chest as the man introduced himself and went on to explain that he had drawn a picture of him and that he also was not sleezy. "Oh... that was nice of you" Corvin said in a nervous kind of way as he looked at the stranger who was now up close and personal. The man was charming and had a young face but not super young more along the line of a boyish flare. He was close to the same age as Corvin and about the same hieght and build which was comforting in case the man want to kidnap him or something , he would have a fighting chance.

"My name is Corvin Blackwood and you are?" Corvin said as he tried to nail down a name.
 
Though Aran had scared him, he was happier and even more curious about him as he became nervous. He seemed to be a little intimidated even. He smiled softly at the good reaction, but sensed a little bit of discomfort. He had a feeling that he wouldn't have a problem, but Aran was pretty decent at reading people. That was why he never rushed into things, and very rarely was serious. After all some say that joking and smiling through everything is a perfect way to defend yourself sometimes. It was like a wall to shield him. He really didn't want to seem like a creep, so he tried to play it off well, seeming completely calm and relaxed.


"Aran, Aran Reynolds." Aran smiled a little and extended his hand to shake. "Nice to see you Corvin... You were great tonight you know..." A handshake was always a nice gesture, at least to him.
 
"I was okay a little of pitch and I did not finish as strong as I should have..." Corvin began with a critical look on his face as he thought back on his performance but after realizing he was talking to a stranger he blushed slightly as he gave a nervous laugh and a cheeky smile. "But to everyone else I guess I did rather well, you are not going to ask me from my autograph because I would be rather embarressed. You are, I guess, free to have a seat if you would like I was going to leave but if you wish to keep me company you are more than welcome." corvin saidas he offered the man a seat wondering if he would join him or if he had only wanted to give him the picture.
 
"Oh come now!" Aran smiled at him with his dimples showing a bit. "You sounded great, I mean, I can't carry a tune to save my life." His smile melted into a grin as he saw the other blushing and smiling, he was kind of cute. And hey, he didn't mind when he drew him. None the less he took the invitation to sit, still grinning widely. He pat a beat onto the table and looked at him. "Thank you, Corvin. And another compliment, you really put a lot of emotion into that song..." Aran paused for a moment, analyzing what he could remember. "But, I apologize that you were hurt that badly. Whoever she was, she was stupid."
 
Corvin smiled slightly as the man sat down and blushed when the compliment came for it was not everyday that a guy enjoyed his songs must of the time it was women but that was not that hard since he and them had so much in common when it came to love but of course he could never tell the guy that or he would most likely make a scene and that is the last thing he needed in his life. The man was extremely charming up close and personal but that could be that it was the first guy in a long time that ever showed any form of interest in what Corvin did or enjoyed. The man then made a statement that had Corvin sweating bullets within no time, why did people think that when he sang about love it was about some woman? Corvin took a deep breath and figured that he was going to be forced to come out to the guy.

"I was never hurt by a woman but by a guy and that was a long time ago now my only love is music and it is good to me." Corvin said in a small voice but did not want to let the man think to much of it as he quickly changed the subject to something eles."You are a talented artist and have something really special, how long have you been at it?" Crovin asked as he showed interest in the mans skill, Corvin ordered a drink and a sandwhich as he was slightly famished from his performance.
 
"Ah... So you're gay then?" Aran looked at him and smiled softly, not minding. "Either way, he's still an idiot. I don't see why anyone would hurt you like that. I mean, people are too hearless for " He noticed the tone and realized that it was a pretty touchy subject for him. None the less, it seemed to really be something that concerned Aran. That was just how he was. No matter if Corvin didn't want to talk about it he would being it up anyway. After all, better out than in right? Holding things wasn't healthy, but he wouldn't press him either. "Well if it helps I know how guys can be too... That's the wonderful part of liking both types of people." That was only a partial joke. After all it did help to know what both were like. It just depended on the moment.

"Well you see.." He looked him in the eyes and smiled even more than before. "My mum and dad used to fight a lot before they ended up splitting. I would literally lock myself in my room and draw all day. Plus it was really the only thing I was good at." He hated admitting that, but he wasn't exactly great at sports, and he wasn't too bright either. The whole fact that he was good at something gave him solace, that was for sure. It was nice to get compliments from everyone.
 
Corvin flinched as the man said the word gay, even after all this time he found it just as hard to come out as it did the first time. It was fear that held him back from finding love and it would be that would keep him prisioner it would never be easy and no one would ever know the true pain that he went through everyday. Though when the man insult corvin's ex it was shock that crossed his face as it was not a reaction that he was used to most of the time, the man seemed genuine with his feeling of concern which caused Corvin to blush a brighter red but due to the poor lighting was not worried that the man could possibley see." Yes I am gay and have been out for almost ten years now and yes he was an idiot but he treated me kindly and with love but sometimes we leave people without wanting to and due to a thousand of sad reasons."Corvin said with a sad smile as he tried to as nice about his ex as he could which was hard.

Corvin did not pay much attention to the mans comment about his own sexuality as he did not like to get his hopes up about new and extremely sexy men who he had somewhat an interest in for it all ways ended in hurt and misery. What he did focuse on was the somewhat sad information that the man had given him about his lonely and somewhat troubled past but Corvin was also a child of a broken home and so he could relate. "I sing so that I can forget about all of my demons and for a few minutes be someone else living a different life." Corvin said as he was brought his drink.
 
Aran noticed the flinch, not confused though. After all some people were less comfortable with admitting things, and as he thought about it he could've said something a little less blunt. But hey, that was just one of his faults. Sometimes he just didn't think. He rubbed the back of his newly cut hair, maintaining his boyish grin. "Well if it helps, I'm bisexual and out since... five years ago." A laugh escaped his lips. "I'm still adjusting to it." Aran ordered himself a drink, just water. He never was one to drink anyway. Maybe a glass of wine on the weekends, but never really drinking. He listened to Corvin, actually relating to his words and understanding every bit. "Well everything happens for a reason. Three things can happen." Aran held up three fingers to emphasize, "One, you both realize you're meant for each other after time apart. Two, something better will come along. Three, someone better will come along." That sounded like a line out of a cheesy novella, but he didn't care.

Aran received his water, nodding in agreement with his new friend. "Well, I believe that artists all have one thing in common. We all have a decent reasons for being artists. I mean, we all tried to escape something. I wanted to escape my family life, and you wanted to forget your demons." It was a simple thing, to him anyway. Aran nibbled his straw and looked at Corvin, not from an artist's point of view, but from a person's point of view. He seemed kind, and not to mention cute.
 
Corvin had not been around another man who was in to him before and so the simple talking ad coy smiles was almost to much to handle as he became clumsy and flushed from his never ending blush. Or was it his mind trying to convince him that the man liked him just so that it could feel important or loved even? Why here of all place did the man have to come for if he did not Corvin knew he would not have to think about his feeling or the connection between the two of them. Corvin frowned slightly as he tried to regainn his composure, "Why are you here,what do you want?" Corvin asked with a half chuckle.

"I mean your cute funny and smart, why are you here is this some sick joke? Is Eric pulling a joke on me ?" Corvin said as he looked around for the man he thought was behind this but when no one popped out he swallowed nervously as he chugged his drink realizing he just made the hugest mistake ever by admitting his thoughts out loud. Corvin stood and made the motion of leaving " Well now that I am done embassassing myself, I will go now?" Corvin said as he blushed .
 
"Eh. I honestly just came here because I had no where else to go." Aran shrugged and looked at him, noticing the blush for the first time. He moved the back of his hand to just braze the other's forehead. "Are you alright? Do you have a fever or something?" It was something he did as an instinct, having littler siblings trained him to react in that sort of way. After all if he didn't his step-mother would scold him for being uncaring. "Is it too hot in here? Do you want to maybe go outside? It's cooler out there." Well, it was starting to cool down a little, but it was still not too cold.

Aran couldn't help but laugh at the other. It wasn't to be rude, but the idea of such a horrible joke was amusing. "Who's Eric? And thank you, you're pretty cute yourself." He added a wink. Now getting flirtatious, though he didn't want to make him uncomfortable. As Corvin stood Aran did the same. "If you go, I'm going to walk you home. Well, if you live near here anyway. I'd actually prefer you not to go, but-" He cut himself off and turned red as a tomato, mentally slapping himself over and over.
 
Corvin was struck dumb and allowed the man to touch him in such an intimate way that he caught himself leaning into the soft touch of the mans nuturing attention. After a few moments he found himself closing the distance but stopped as he realized what was happening, Corvin looked the man in the face and trew down his coat on the chair and walked past him to climb up on the stage. Corvin told the pianist what to play as he walked up to the mic and closed his eyes as he had to tell the man everything he was feeling through song in hopes that he would understand his hesitation and his jittery emotions. Corvin opened his mouth and sang with all the passion that he could and he was brought to tears once again, The perfomance.

Corvin when done looked out at the crowd and could not make out any faces only the bright light as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, he lived to sing and loved music and he could see that the audience was in love with music as much as he was but he wonder if the man understood what was going on with him and why things were the way they were. Corvin found the man charming and was afraid that if he opened up even a little he would let him in and would not be able to let him out. He was so afraid of pain that he had become so distance from the people around him and was sturggling to stay a float and needed some one to save him before he drowned. He walked off the satge and looked Aran in the face and his bottom lip began to quiver, "You are cute and funny but I am so afraid that I would or could fall for you that I am not willing to let you in right now..." Corvin closed his eyesand felt the hot tears run down his rugged face.
 
Aran was amazed when he looked at him face to face. It was one of those small gestures that said so much about a person or a situation. None the less the amazement didn't cease, in fact it grew when the other suddenly went onto the stage again. Aran sat and listened to every sweet note and word coming from Corvin's mouth. It seemed that the songs he sang were a passageway into his mind. Aran could see that much. He understood how the other felt without a single hesitation. After all that's what most felt after a split and then trying to trust someone again. No man, straight or gay was a stranger to that feeling at all.

Aran met him halfway as he got off stage, eyes wide as he saw the tears. He cupped the other's face with his palm and wiped the tears away with his thumb. "Corvin, I would never ask you to let me in... It's something that just happens. That is something that happens after a relationship grows and develops. Don't cry..." The man gave the singer a smile, kissing his forehead to soothe him. "There's no need to cry, everyone gets scared sometimes... Maybe for different reasons but.." Aran paused for a long while, just wiping the other's face off and mumbling soothing things to him. He hated when other people cried, though it always was kind of nice to calm them or soothe them. But when Corvin cried it was different. Aran actually felt concerned, scared even. No one that kind and sweet deserved to cry over anything.
 
Shattered was his world when Aran kissed him on the forehead and wiped his tears and if it was not for the warm and security of the mans hug he would have collapsed right there on the floor. He had lived so long alone after the last relationship he was in he did not know if he would ever be able to get close to anyone ever again, he was a broken man but he was just now put altogether and fragile. This man then swoops in from no where and with in minutes had him on the verge of breaking again with his sweet smile and tender attention which no one but his mother had shown him in his life. Here in the arms of what could only be an angel Corvin was happy and whole but he was getting attached and his heart was saying yes but his mind was saying no.

"You..." corvin said in a whisper as he placed a hand on the mans chest and pushed away slightly, "...are too kind and wonderful but I can not find a reason to hate you or push you away and that is too much for me. Eric is a freind of mind that I met one night and we have been friends ever since, I live alone with my fish and my piano, I also snore slightly and afraid of small spaces but worst of all I am broken. I know we all break but the last guy I was with broke me beyond repair and I know it is stupid since you did not even ask me out for me to act like this but I am only trying to prevent it before it even happens. " Corvin said as he laid his head on Arans chest and rocked slowly to the thrumming of the mans heart with out even realizing what he was doing.
 
As for what he was doing Aran had no idea. He usually wouldn't do this, let alone in public, but he felt as if he had to, not in the sense of obligation but in the sense of a need. He could only blush and pet him as the other rested on his chest, then smiled slightly and heard his heart pick up. "Well, my middle name is Jaymie which I hate with a passion. I live alone in a cruddy apartment which is why I usually go home. I'm terrified of being alone for the rest of my life and honestly I am proud to say that's one of my only fears... Let's see... I have one brother and one sister. And that's it for- Wait. I leave the cap of the toothpaste open." Aran snickered quietly, giving him a squeeze and sitting back down, pulling Corvin with him. "Oh and there's one more thing... I like fixing things."
 
Covin fell down on to the man and blushed a shade of red as he ignored the rest of the room and leaned his head on the mans shoulder resisting the urge to nuzzle Arans neck or to kiss the man both were hard to not do but he had managed to hold back as he tried to make the arrangement as comfortable as possible."Hahaha you are so funny! I am trying to be serious adn you are being so stubborn, I am no good for you what so ever and with me you will only leave like all the others or worse cheat and then leave.I am not looking for a fling or charity but love..."Corvin said as he looked the man in the eyes andspoke through things not said, he did not want to be the broken hearted boy.

"If you can handle that then stay but if not leave now while there is still time because I can not wait forever, this ship needs to set sail with or without you."Corvin said as he closed his eyes and laid his forehead against Arans praying that he would stay but understanding if he left. It was some much easier to walk away in the beginning then later when roots where set and lives had been made but even those could not stop the others from leaving Corvin all alone. He had began to think that it was him that was messed up some how and that it was his fault that the others left.
 
"But, aren't we all looking for love?" Aran questioned him, smiling ever so softly. Though this was true. All of the people he had met, no matter the background or age, wanted to have love. No matter, he didn't want to leave this man. There was no reason on why he shouldn't, but for some reason he just felt the need to stay. "I'd never dare leave you, I'd only end it if you got tired of me." He nodded matter-of-factly. That was true, Aran honestly was too spineless to break up with someone. "But, if this does happen, you'll have to deal with the fact that I'm overprotective." Yet again, he was only being too honest with Corvin.

Aran smiled even more at his words. "I think I'll stay, Corvin." He rubbed their noses together, giving an eskimo kiss. Those always cheered him up, so maybe it would do the same for Corvin. "But that's only if you want me to stay." To Aran, it was completely up to the other. Of course he wanted to stay, but he wouldn't if his possible new flame told him to go away. He hoped that wasn't going to be the case, and from the sound of it, it wasn't. Aran's hand rubbed the other's neck, sighing and looking at him.
 
Corvin allowed the man to rub his nose against his as he allowed his mind to wander the wonderful reaches of his imagination as he thought about Aran. Corvin had told him everything and had even mad a complete fool of himself and still the man stayed and it was in his arms that Corvin now took shelter as his fragile strength gave way to someones who was far stronger than him . He could not help but let a tear roll down his face as he struggled to make sense of what way was up as he was now drowning in love and fear, he did want for everything for Aran to stay but he knew that he would eventually leave just like the others and he could not shake that feeling no matter how many sweet touches or well placed kisses. Corvin would simply have to have faith and take a chance on love with Aran and just pray that he would never leave him broken or hurt him.

"I ... will give you a chance to prove that you are not like the rest, be gentle Love has not been kind to me but if you treat me well I will give you the world and treat you like a king ... just don’t leave me!" Corvin said in a soft whisper as he closed the gap between there lips and kissed the man passionately as he lowered his wall and allowed the man in to make a home if he wanted to. Corvin blushed when he heard the crowd behind him cheer and whistle there approval of the coupling. Corvin laughed slightly as he pulled away and wiped his tears. " You did not know you would find such a hopeless mess like me when you came in here tonight did you?" Corvin added as he went to stand up as he was now slightly embarrassed by there closeness as it was unbecoming on a first date be found in a mans lap in public... while sober at least.
 
Aran felt himself go wide eyed as the other kissed him, placing a hand on Corvin's cheek. Grudgingly (and after a long while,) he separated their lips and stayed millimeters away. As before, Aran helped wipe his face and grinned ever-so-slightly. "One chance is all I need, Mr. Blackwood. I guarantee I will never hurt you, and I will not leave you without giving my all to stay." Aran kissed both his cheeks, then his nose and lips again. The closeness was something he had longed for. It seemed that they both wanted the same thing and had the same priorities. To think that he had almost not come to the dark club. Was this just a twist of fate for him? Possibly. And yet, the man who had honestly no belief in such things found himself thanking whatever force had brought the other man to him.
 
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