Open Feels Like I’m Living Some Sick Déjà Vu

[Celia Vuong]

If anyone had accused Celia of going into hiding after the howler incident, they would have gotten a swift hex to the face. But the truth was, she had been hiding. She didn't want to see anyone, and she didn't want anyone to see her. For a while, she'd sequestered herself in abandoned rooms in the castle, carefully timing her comings and goings so that she was the last to arrive anywhere — classes, meals, the dorms — and the first to leave. It was as if she'd gone back in time to those lonely months from her first year, except worse, because at least back then, no one had known who she was. Now, though, it seemed everyone knew her name.

There was only so much Celia could take of the dreary castle, however, so she'd begun to spend more time outdoors. The colder weather meant fewer people ventured out these days, which suited her well. And if she sat with her back to the lake, she could see anyone who decided to approach her. Today, Celia had dragged some of her muggle coursework out with her. It was a little ironic that while the howler had forced her into hiding, it also meant she had less she needed to hide about herself. Celia had spent the past six years carefully concealing her muggle background and upbringing. Now, though, everyone knew she was the daughter of a muggle criminal. Getting caught with a math textbook was no longer a big deal, and if Celia were in a better mood, then she could have maybe admitted there was something freeing about that. As it was, she was in no such state of mind, and as she began to work through a set of trigonometry problems, she dug the point of her mechanical pencil into her notebook, nearly ripping the paper.

 

[Louis Alcott]

asdfs i'm so sorry Celia I couldn't resist but he's trying I promise


Louis was doing pretty much anything to avoid exam studying. He just didn't feel like it, even though he knew he should. He'd probably get into some huge fights with his dad about his grades when he got home, even though he very much doubted his dad did much better than him in school. His stories from his own school time were never about exams or studying, which really said enough. Giulia must have gotten all her nerd genes from her mother or something. The boy was just wandering around outside, looking for any distractions, when he spotted Celia sitting by the lake. The sight of her sitting by herself tugged on his heart a little, even if a part of him was still mad at her. He'd bet anything she was a lot more angry though, Celia didn't seem like the sort of person to let things go, when Louis very much was. He'd never been good at holding grudges for very long.

And the recent gossip about Celia hadn't been missed by Louis. He hadn't been there for the actual howler explosion, but he'd heard enough talk about it. He knew exactly what the howler had said. Celia's reaction to it seemed to confirm the information, at least to most people that had seen it. Almost without his permission, Louis wandered over to Celia. He knew she wouldn't be happy to see him, and a small voice in his head that might have been the voice of reason told him to just keep walking and ignore her. But he couldn't help himself. There was something about Celia that just kept drawing him in, even when she inevitably made him feel stupid or silly with a few sharp words. Louis didn't look at Celia, not wanting her facial expression to make him turn around and walk away again. He dropped into the grass, glancing at the notebook without even glancing at her face. "I bet that paper deserved that." He said, attempting for a light and joking tone.

 

[Celia Vuong]

As Celia worked, she saw someone approach out of the corner of her eye. That was less than ideal. It was pretty obvious that she was busy and not looking for company. Celia kept her head down, not giving any indication that she'd seen them. But even as her right hand pushed pencil lead into paper, her left sifted through the grass before closing around her wand. The howler had destroyed her friendship with Jenna and effectively exiled her from the very sorority she'd helped start, which meant she didn't have any friends left at Hogwarts. So whoever was walking towards her was most likely not someone with good intentions.

The person came closer, and Celia was a little surprised to realize it wasn't one of the many enemies she'd made or some Elite Sisterhood member looking to make her life miserable. It was Louis. The Gryffindor wasn't exactly high up on the list of people Celia wanted to see right now (quite the opposite, actually), but she let go of her wand. She did all this without glancing up from her notebook or acknowledging his presence. It was only when Louis opened his mouth that Celia reacted, her shoulders tensing slightly. A small, weak part of her was tempted to play along because the last few months had sucked, and if she answered with a joke or snarky remark, then she could pretend for a few seconds that none of that stuff had happened, not the howler, not the destruction of her social life, not the conversation with Louis when he'd basically called her a sh*tty person.

But the past few months had also left Celia with an impatience for small talk and all the other bullsh*t pleasantries she'd endured back when she still had a reputation to maintain. So she cut straight to the chase. "What do you want, Louis," Celia asked in a flat, almost bored tone, as she kept her gaze on her notebook, still pretending to be absorbed in her work.

 

[Louis Alcott]

Louis had half expected Celia to curse at him or actually curse him, and he noticed how she grabbed her wand. But to his surprise and relief, she let go of it again. He felt a little bit of hope, wondering if he could really make things up to her. Or if at least he could help her feel a little better. But it also wasn't like Celia seemed happy to see him, from what he could tell without looking at her face. He stared at her notebook as she spoke, wondering if he should he sincere or funny. He decided to try a mix of both. "Plenty of things. The Quidditch cup, a date to Brightstone, a hundred galleons..." He hesitated, darting a glance at her. "For you not to hate me anymore. You know, the usual." He said, looking away again and stretching a bit. "And I figured you wouldn't mind some company." He added cautiously.

 

[Celia Vuong]

Celia wondered if her attempt at pretending to be busy was even believable. She had long since given up trying to solve the math problem in front of her and was mostly jotting down nonsense, though she suspected Louis had no way of deciphering the mess of triangles and theta symbols on the page. At the mention of the Quidditch cup, the lead of her pencil snapped. So much for pretending not to be invested in this conversation. However, it was Louis' last request that made her set down her pencil and notebook.

"I don't hate you," Celia said with a frown, looking directly at him for the first time. "I never hated you." She hated a lot of people — Seraphina, Jenna, pretty much the whole school — but she didn't hate Louis. "I..." she started before realizing she wasn't sure how to finish the sentence, because the truth was, she didn't feel much of anything towards him these days. "...never mind," she said with a sigh, shaking her head. Their last conversation had left Celia hurt and confused and angry — but mostly with herself. She couldn't believe she'd completely misjudged another relationship. She'd thought they were friends, but it turned out that like everyone else, Louis just thought of her as a terrible person. And once Celia had accepted that, she'd quickly cast him from her thoughts. She had always been good at cutting people out of her life.

Louis' next comment made Celia wonder if she'd spoken too soon. Her expression hardened. "If that's your way of saying that you're here because you feel sorry for me, then you can leave," she said coolly. "I'm fine, and I don't need your pity." The humiliation wrought by the howler had been bad, yes. But equally terrible were the looks of pity she occasionally received. She knew what people were thinking, knew that they probably thought the whole situation with her dad had left her damaged.

 

[Louis Alcott]

Louis had tried to hide his sincere worry in between some jokes, and he waited anxiously for Celia to respond as he pulled out a few blades of grass and fidgeted with them. He was still staring at her notes, marveling at what seemed to him to be some sort of advanced arithmancy. She was really a genius. He felt relieved when Celia said she didn't hate him and never had. His shoulders sagged slightly. He knew Celia well enough to know that this moment of opening up was a lot for her. He knew their last interaction had been bad, and it had been partly because of him. If Celia could take a step in his direction, even if it was just saying she didn't hate him, maybe he could too.

"Well, that's good. Thank you." He said, shifting a little. He cleared his throat. "You know, I'm like, kind of an idiot. Right?" He added, not looking at her. "And... uh, idiots do dumb stuff." He scratched his knee nervously. "Like, if someone very smart maybe... saw right through their bullcrap and kind of... saw things about them maybe they didn't like to hear about. Because they were probably kind of true..." He wondered if he was making any sense. "Well, an idiot would probably react to that kind of stupidly. Like maybe by saying something mean. Like something they didn't actually mean. To push the smart person away." He cleared his throat. "You know, in theory." He added, feeling himself blush a little. Louis had always admired Celia, and feared her a bit too. She was so secure and capable. He wouldn't doubt she could teach half of their classes better than the professors did. "I'm trying to say I'm sorry." He added quietly, though he knew she had likely gotten his rose. If he was honest, Celia's words had haunted him. He hated how she made him confront his own behavior, but he knew it hadn't been fair to take it out on her.

Louis grimaced as Celia wondered if he pitied her. He snorted, nudging her lightly. "C'mon, why would I pity you?" He asked her, raising his eyebrows slightly. "I just think you need some distractions from your scary arithmancy before you truly develop a supergenius brain and take over the world. You know?" He said. "Not that I think you'd do a bad job as our minister." He mused.

 

[Celia Vuong]

Celia was quickly realizing that cutting people out of your life was a lot easier when those people stayed out of your life. She had been confident she'd gotten over whatever positive feelings she'd once had towards Louis, but now, sitting across from him, she wasn't so sure. As difficult as it was to follow, his word salad of an explanation did make sense. It wouldn't have been the first time he'd been an assh*le to her because of his insecurities. But as much as Celia wanted to believe him, she didn't want to be taken for a fool again.

"I figured," Celia said dryly when Louis attempted to apologize. Then, in a more neutral tone, she added, "I got your rose," leaving out the part where she'd thrown away the note almost immediately after. Celia was quiet for a bit, knowing he was likely waiting for her to either accept or reject his apology. The problem was she didn't know what to do. She sighed. "The stuff you said about me... it's what everyone thinks." They saw her nice clothes and thought she was vain. They heard her make one critical comment and suddenly she was the most negative person at Hogwarts. She couldn't offer a single suggestion during a Monthly meeting without everyone taking it as a personal attack. Hell, Seraphina's howler had called her evil. For the most part, none of that had ever bothered Celia because she knew those assumptions about her weren't true. She'd trusted that her friends also knew those things weren't true, but now she wasn't even sure she knew who her friends were. "So if everyone else thinks that I'm vain and negative and a terrible person, then how am I supposed to believe you when you say you didn't mean any of it?"

Celia stiffened slightly as Louis nudged her. "I'm pretty sure half the school does," she answered, looking away. Maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration, but it certainly felt that way. "And the other half is laughing at me, or thinks I got what I deserved." Celia assumed she didn't need to spell out what she was talking about. Louis was popular enough that he had almost definitely heard the rumors, if he hadn't been in the Great Hall himself when it all went down. She did snort a little at his next comment. "That's not saying much. Anyone with half a brain could do a decent job as minister. The current one barely does anything."

 

[Louis Alcott]

Louis nodded when Celia said she had gotten his rose. He figured she would have, the rose-giving thing tended to work as a well-oiled machine. He didn't ask how she had reacted to the rose, he had known when he sent it she was unlikely to really appreciate it. He pulled one of his knees up and rested his chin on it, glancing at Celia as she said he had said things everyone thinks. He winced. "Not everyone." He said softly. "But yeah, I lashed out. I said things I figured would sting because I was hurt by what you said." He ran a hand through his hair. "I mean, I don't think I have the right to call anyone vain, first of all." He said, cracking a slight smile. But it dropped away quickly. "But I get what you mean." He lowered his eyes. "Celia, if I thought you were terrible I wouldn't keep like... trying to talk to you. I think you're a bit scary but in a good way. I want to be your friend." He chewed his lip for a moment. "And I guess I have a bit of an issue with people not liking me. As in, I can't stand it." He shrugged. "So I got hurt. I started out joking, then I started lashing out. I guess you were right, I'm not always nice. But even now I hate saying that. I just wanted you to admit you liked my company. That I was the exception because I'm just so naturally likeable." He huffed out a nervous laugh. "Maybe you should be the new school counsellor instead of minister, I don't think I've admitted this much about myself before. Like real sh*t, not just stupid stuff I say to sound deep or whatever."

Louis shrugged. "I don't see the point in pitying you. Like, yeah, I think people are being absolute dumbasses." He rolled his eyes. "But I'm sure you're going to get through this easily, you're smarter than anyone trying to gossip about you. They're only so comfortable doing it when you're not around, because they know you could hex them into next week if you wanted." He hesitated. "And I can't say I pity you about your dad because I don't know how you feel about it. If you're sad about it then yeah, I'm sorry you have to go through it. But maybe you've moved past it ages ago. You know?" He felt a bit like his mouth had gotten a mind of its own, he just kept on talking. "Like with me. I never knew my mum, she abandoned me the moment I was born. And when people hear that I hate it when they start feeling sorry for me because I don't care." He said, ignoring how his voice cracked a bit as he said it. "And having a crappy parent doesn't say anything about you." He added.

 

[Celia Vuong]

Celia was a little stunned by Louis' honesty. It was a level of openness that only he ever seemed capable of, and it left her disoriented. In Celia's world, it was dangerous to give someone that much information about yourself because knowledge was power, and secrets were kept until they could be used as weapons. It would be so easy to take his long list of self-admitted insecurities and fashion a sharp remark that could drive through each of them, and it was this realization that made Celia believe him. There was no way Louis in his right mind would have trusted her with this information if he truly believed she was a sh*tty person.

When Louis was done, Celia nodded. "Okay, I believe you," she said quietly. She knew it was a woefully inadequate response to everything he'd just told her, but it was the best she could do. She could give him one thing though. "For the record, I do like your company. I wouldn't have let you hang around otherwise." Even that admission felt a little like giving something up. Celia had always suspected that the reason Louis spent so much time around her was because she was a challenge — something he'd basically just admitted. She'd worried that if she ever let on how much she liked his company, he'd grow bored and go away. "If I didn't want you around, you'd know." She had no issues with telling people she disliked to f*ck off.

Celia sighed, not sure Louis understood just how much some of their classmates hated her. If they weren't gossiping to her face, it was only because she'd spent the past few months scrupulously avoiding everyone. "I can think of several people who would have no issue bringing it up to my face," she muttered. When Louis mentioned her dad, Celia tensed and pretended to study some nonexistent flaw in the hem of her skirt. However, the revelation about his mom made her look up. Her first instinct was to say, "I'm sorry," but she obviously wasn't going to do that now, even if the crack in Louis' voice suggested that he did care. Her second instinct was a twisted sort of jealousy because her life probably would've been much easier if her dad had disappeared the moment she was born. Celia was quiet for a few moments before looking away. "My dad also left," she said simply. She didn't really deal in comforting words or empathetic reassurances, but she could trade a secret for a secret. "Before all the other stuff," she clarified, meaning the prison sentence. "He left when I was eleven."

"I know it doesn't say anything about me, but it doesn't stop some people from thinking it does. I'm always going to be known as the girl with the muggle criminal for a father. It's all people will think about when they see me." It was almost unbearable, the knowledge that her reputation had been tainted by something she had no control over. "And everything I do will be a reflection of him. If I lose my temper or hex someone, people are going to say sh*t like, 'oh the apple doesn't fall far from the tree,' never mind that his crime wasn't even violent." She hated that she felt the need to clarify that. Her dad had ruined her life over and over again, and here she was, still defending him. Celia cleared her throat. "And it's worse because I'm in Slytherin, and there's so much crap about tradition and blood purity and lineage, and people actually care about what your family does." Growing up, Celia had known kids with wealthy or famous relatives, but they'd always downplayed their family connections because it was gauche not to. Here, people openly bragged about their parents' jobs and legacies. "As long as I'm at Hogwarts, this is just going to be hanging over me," she said, her voice pitching slightly as her fists clenched in the grass. She had been so close to getting out of this wretched school with her secrets and reputation intact. And then the howler had happened.

 

[Louis Alcott]

Louis felt itchy like he wanted to run away and rush back inside. He talked about himself a lot, but this was different. This was real. It flashed through his mind that maybe Celia was still pissed at him and that this was all an elaborate ruse to get him to tell her embarrassing things about himself. She was smart enough, but Louis didn't think she would do something like that.

The boy let out a sigh of relief when Celia said she believed him. He laughed softly when she admitted she liked his company. "Don't expect too much critical thinking from me." He joked, even though he kind of hated that Celia saw him as an idiot. For some reason, he couldn't stop leaning into it with jokes. Louis shrugged when Celia said there were kids that would bring it up to her face. "Alright, but most wouldn't." Louis was glad Celia didn't say much about his mother, it surprised him how hurtful it was to say even now. He thought he had gotten over it. How could he miss someone he had never known, after all? Celia told him her dad also left and Louis winced. Maybe he shouldn't have brought it up at all. "That sucks. " He told her. "Parents can be sh*t." He said, guiltily thinking of his dad too, even though he knew his dad tried his best.

Celia explained she thought people would always see her as the girl with the muggle criminal for a father. He wasn't sure if he agreed but he let her talk. Listening as she spilled her worries and fears to him. Her point about Slytherin wasn't one he had considered, and despite what he said earlier he did feel some pity for Celia. He knew better than to say it, but she was truly in a crap situation. "I think most people will forget when the next big thing comes along." He said carefully. "I don't think you're entirely wrong, but the general attention span is pretty short." He pulled a bit more grass out of the ground, looking at it for a moment before letting it drift into the wind. He sat up. "I mean, we could spread something else. Something to have people talk about someone else." He said, thinking out loud. "Like, I don't know. The stuff about my mom? I don't know if people care that much, but it could be spun like that's why I- you know, flirt with everyone. I bet people would believe it." He said. Louis knew it was a silly and possibly stupid suggestion, but he had said it before he could really think about it. He just wanted to act, he didn't usually do much thinking. "Or something else." He added quickly. "Just nothing too embarrassing, I do want to keep going on dates."

 

[Celia Vuong]

Celia gave Louis a strange look. That was the second time now he'd made some self-deprecating remark about his intelligence, and she thought back to their last conversation when he'd mentioned something about her thinking he was stupid. The thing was, she didn't think that at all. "Why do you keep saying that?" she asked carefully, not sure if she was reading too much into things. "Like, stuff about you being an idiot?"

She snorted at Louis' comment about parents. "You're telling me." Her mom might have stayed, but she'd made more than her fair share of mistakes and in some ways was the catalyst to a lot of the problems in Celia's life. "He left six years ago, and yet he still found a way to ruin my reputation." she said bitterly. "I wish he would just stay out of my life." Every time she thought she'd made peace with her dad's absence, he reappeared in her life in the worst way possible, and the wound was reopened all over again. Celia had thought that the prison sentence would put an end to all that. But his transgressions had followed her all the way over here, and they would likely trail her for the rest of her life. It wasn't like she could just wipe his existence from history.

Celia knew Louis was right, that attention would eventually shift, but that didn't stop things from sucking right now. And it didn't change the fact that her reputation had been permanently affected. "Great, I just need to wait for someone to hatch another basilisk," she said sarcastically. Louis seemed to have an actual suggestion, however, and Celia looked up in surprise before shaking her head. "You don't want that," she said, though she was also touched that he was willing to do that for her. "Trust me, you don't want to be at the center of the rumor mill, not like that." Before today, Celia might have thought that Louis would be able to handle it. He usually came across as annoyingly confident. But after hearing about his almost desperate need to be liked, she wasn't so sure. She had done enough gossiping herself to know what cruel things people might say about Louis if he spread that rumor. "Besides, you're too well liked for it to really stick. No one's sitting on the sidelines, hoping for your downfall." She sighed and ripped up a few blades of grass. "I'd rather spread something about Jenna or the Sisterhood." Celia was more than a little resentful of the fact that she'd been ousted from her own club. "But she's graduating." That was the problem. Jenna would soon be gone. And it wasn't like she could get revenge against Seraphina; she didn't even know where Seraphina was.

 

[Louis Alcott]

Louis didn’t blush often, but as Celia pointed out he kept saying things about being stupid he felt his cheeks heat up. He’d realized he was doing it, but he had hoped Celia wouldn’t pick up on it. He decided to try to brush it off with a joke, as he tended to do. “I mean, I can show you my report card if you want proof.” He said, adding a quick grin to show he didn’t care. He didn’t.

The Gryffindor listened as Celia spoke about her dad. It sounded really painful, and Louis felt kind of angry at the guy even though he didn’t even know him. He thought of his own dad. Sometimes he wasn’t very… good at being a dad, but Louis had to admit he tried. At least mostly. He hesitated for a moment. “Do you think you can get the person who did this? Like, I don’t know, tell their head of house?” He asked, though he knew Celia would probably not like the idea of that. It was probably against some Slytherin sensibility of getting your own vengeance or something. “Because honestly, it sucks that someone did this. It’s pretty much bullying, you know?”

Louis laughed softly at Celia’s joke. The basilisk had been so weird. It would be pretty great if something like that happened again, it was undoubtedly bigger than some girl’s dad being in prison. Louis shrugged when Celia said he didn’t want that. “Dunno, might add to my air of mystery.” He said flippantly, but he guessed Celia was right. He had been a bit impulsive, offering something like that. But he hated not being able to do anything. Besides, he didn’t think it would bother him too much what people said. Though a small voice in the back of his mind doubted that. It was the small voice he didn’t often listen to, though. He couldn’t help preening a bit when Celia said he was well liked. “I mean, I bet some people are.” He said when she said no one was hoping for his downfall. Louis listened to Celia’s suggestions, then sighed. “That sucks.” He muttered. “I don’t know any juicy gossip about anyone else anyway.” He sighed. “Can always set something on fire? Might distract people.”

 

[Celia Vuong]

Celia studied Louis for a moment. The self-deprecation was jarring because it was so different from his usually braggadocious demeanor. Plus, it hadn't escaped her notice the way his cheeks had turned pink. "Right..." she said, deciding to let the joke pass. Normally, she would have prodded further at this potential insecurity, but things felt a little too raw right now.

She nearly laughed when he suggested going to a head of house, though the mention of "bullying" made her wince. It made her sound so weak. "No," she said firmly. "If word ever got out that I went to the teachers, then I'd really be the laughingstock of the whole school. It would imply that I care." Celia knew her decision to sequester herself kind of already confirmed how badly the howler had affected her, but at least she still had plausible deniability. "And I don't need the teachers pitying me too." Some of them probably already did, considering the incident had taken place in the Great Hall. "They'd probably try and make me talk to the counselor or something." It suddenly occurred to Celia that she was spilling her guts to the nephew of the headmaster. She was so screwed if Louis mentioned any of this stuff to his uncle. "Besides, the person who sent it doesn't even go here anymore." The handwriting on the howler had been Jenna's, but Celia knew there was no way it could have been orchestrated by anyone besides Seraphina My. She still wasn't completely sure about the level of Jenna's involvement, but the former Gryffindor had been the only one who had known about her dad. Plus, it would explain the stupid "Secrets of Merlin" sign-off. "God, it's so pathetic," she seethed, ripping up more grass. "Imagine still caring about high school stuff after you've already graduated."

Celia snorted at Louis' comment. "No offense, Louis, but you're about as mysterious as a glass of water." That wasn't to say there wasn't any depth to him — she was pretty sure she'd learned more about him in the last sixteen minutes than the last six years — but the whole flirtatious player persona he put on didn't exactly inspire a lot of questions. Everyone knew what he wanted. She raised an eyebrow when he claimed to have people waiting for his downfall. "Yeah, like who?" she asked skeptically, though she was a little curious to know if Louis did have any enemies. During their last conversation, he had claimed that there wasn't anyone he disliked, but maybe there was someone who disliked him. "Technically, the gossip doesn't have to be true," she pointed out, aware that she wasn't exactly doing his impression of her any favors. But she had never claimed to be a model citizen; she just didn't think she was a sh*tty person. Celia snorted at his next suggestion. "Like it wouldn't be completely obvious that I set the fire." After all, she spent half her duels trying to set her opponents on fire. She sighed. "Unless I can find a way to obliviate the entire school, I don't think anything can fix this." She paused. "At least I won't have to see anyone during the break." Those three months of peace and freedom couldn't come soon enough.

 

[Louis Alcott]

Louis was relieved when Celia didn’t question his jokes further. He guessed a part of him had hoped she would disagree with him, but he had mostly expected her to just accept it. How could someone like Celia not think he was absolutely idiotic?

Celia’s words about going to a teacher reminded Louis she really was a Slytherin. He didn’t think he’d go to a teacher either, but not because of what others might think. He nodded, though, it did make some sense. “Right.” He said, deciding not to point out that the teachers probably knew about it already. “I mean, I heard the counselor is nice.” He suggested weakly, but he knew it wouldn’t really be an option for Celia. He was surprised to hear the person who sent it had graduated. “So someone who is like, an adult decided to do that?” He asked, raising his eyebrows. “That’s… so dumb.” He laughed when Celia pretty much echoed his thoughts. “It is kind of pathetic.” He said. “I guess they have nothing interesting going on in their lives.”

He huffed in annoyance when Celia said he was as mysterious as a glass of water. “To you, maybe!” He said, crossing his arms. “I assure you, many people find me very mysterious.” He said, not actually that sure that was the truth. When she asked who disliked him, Louis shrugged. “Zephyrn, y’know on my team, I am pretty sure she would like to shoot me sometimes.” He admitted. “Well, most times.” He shrugged. “That’s going to be interesting next year-” He stopped himself. “Nevermind.” He said quickly, not sure if he was allowed to reveal he’d be co-captain yet.

When Celia said the gossip didn’t have to be true, Louis frowned a bit in thought. “I guess, but is there anyone like… horrible enough that we can do that to?” He asked, wondering if Celia had someone in mind. He grinned a bit. “Technically I’d be setting the fire.” He added. When she mentioned break, he hesitated. “I mean, if you wanted to see someone who wouldn’t be a jerk we could hang out.” He offered. “I’ll be trying to get away from my dad all break anyway.”

 

[Celia Vuong]

Celia shook her head sharply. "No way. I don't need someone asking me a bunch of invasive questions and trying to psychoanalyze me." She had always known that her family situation was, well, a little f*cked up. But the concept of saving face had been instilled in her from an early age, and she'd learned to conceal all her parents' problems. Having those secrets ripped from her family and exposed for everyone to see had been excruciating. She nodded at Louis' question. "Yeah, Seraphina My, if you know her. She was in Gryffindor." His laughter made her feel a little better. "I hope she's unemployed and living in her parents' basement with a bunch of cats." It was a satisfying mental image.

Louis' indignation made Celia smirk. Most of their conversation up until now had been pretty heavy, so this felt a little more normal. "Sure, maybe some first years," she said dismissively. Her eyebrows shot up when he named Zephryn. "Spencer?" she asked incredulously. The Spencer twins had always seemed a little anti-social, Zephryn even more so than Kita, and she was now immensely curious to know what Louis had done to inspire such animosity. "What did you do to her?" Celia frowned a little when he tried to backtrack. "What do you mean— wait, are you going to be captain?" It was the only Quidditch-related change that made sense with his comment.

"I can think of a few people," she said a little darkly. Ivelisse, for one. Caleb. Rhys. It didn't even have to be someone she disliked. Celia wouldn't have minded spreading rumors about a random person if it meant getting the attention off of her. However, she suspected Louis might have issues with that. He could be an assh*le sometimes, but he was also a little... soft. She sighed. "The problem would be coming up with something believable." Celia arched an eyebrow at Louis' grin. "In that case, by all means, go set something on fire," she said dryly. "I'll be your alibi."

At Louis' offer, Celia hesitated. Before today, she would have definitely said no. But it had admittedly been kind of nice talking to him, though it also felt a little like their conversation today existed in its own pocket universe. And part of her wanted to leave it in that little bubble of space and time, never to be revisited again. "I might be busy..." Celia started, trying to lay the groundwork in case she decided to bail later. It wasn't even a lie. She needed to finish her muggle coursework, do some last minute resume padding, and fill out her college applications. "...but I could probably find some time," she conceded. "I'm not going to Obsidian or Brightstone, though." The magical world in this country was way too small. If Louis wanted to hang out, they'd have to meet somewhere else.

 

[Louis Alcott]

Celia’s absolute refusal to go to the counselor wasn’t unexpected, and truthfully Louis couldn’t even really blame her. He definitely had his own issues and he didn’t particularly feel like talking them out with some lady either. He simply nodded in acknowledgment. At the name Celia mentioned, Louis frowned. “It sounds familiar, but I can’t really remember her.” He admitted. “Sounds like I didn’t miss much.”

Louis huffed in indignation when Celia suggested only first years found him mysterious. “Not true.” He muttered, but without proof, it sounded a bit silly. He nodded when Celia asked if he meant Zephryn Spencer, were there more Zephryns? He frowned when Celia asked what he had done. “Why do you assume I did something? I didn’t- I just… didn’t always pass her the quaffle when I maybe should have.” He admitted with a shrug. He grimaced when Celia immediately understood what Louis had meant. Curse her insightfulness. “Well yes- no… sort of.” He sighed, now he had to explain. “We both are, co-captains. I don’t know if I’m allowed to spread that around yet, though. Please don’t tell anyone.” The last thing he wanted was for Isaiah to just give it to Zephryn after all because he couldn’t keep his big mouth shut.

Louis hadn’t really put much thought into asking Celia to hang out, and seeing her hesitation made him pause. Maybe he was moving a bit too fast? One good conversation and he wanted to hang out with her outside of school. But it was a really good conversation, or at least a really important one. He could feel it. He nodded when she said she might be busy, then smiled when she mentioned where she didn’t want to hang out. “Alright, if you are busy we’ll just see each other at school again.” He told her, not wanting to put any pressure on her. “But if you don’t want to hang out in those places, where do you want to hang out?”

 

[Celia Vuong]

Celia couldn't say she was surprised that Louis didn't remember Seraphina. "I don't think she had a lot of friends." How someone like Seraphina had even ended up friends with Jenna was a complete mystery. "I barely knew her." It made the former Gryffindor's decision to send her the howler all the more pathetic.

At Louis' retort, Celia just smirked. She did give him a rather skeptical look when he tried to play innocent, but then he explained further. "That's it?" Maybe it was because she played for Slytherin, whose chasers pretty much never passed the quaffle, but Celia didn't think hogging the quaffle was that big of a deal. "I mean, I don't blame you. She's not a very good chaser." She decided not to mention that she didn't think Louis was that great of a chaser either. The Gryffindor team had its strengths, and its chasers were not one of them. For that reason, Celia was a little surprised to hear that both Louis and Zephryn were the new co-captains, though she supposed they would be the oldest on the team. "That sucks that you have to share it," she said with a sympathetic grimace. "But congrats." At Louis' request, she gave him an almost ironic smile. "I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm not really talking to most of the school." Her expression turned serious. "Besides, everything said during this conversation stays between us... right?" she asked hesitantly. She'd thought that was implied considering some of the things that had come up, but it would be good to get confirmation that she and Louis were on the same page.

Celia was grateful he didn't push it. She wasn't even sure how serious Louis was in his offer to hang out. Perhaps he was just being polite. At his question, she shrugged. "Literally anywhere else. A deserted island, Antarctica, a corn field in the middle of Kansas — anywhere. I'm just not going to Obsidian or Brightstone. It's too small, everyone knows everyone, and there's nothing to do since it's just a bunch of versions of the same five shops. It's suffocating." Maybe you could be satisfied with such a small life if you'd grown up in New Zealand magical society, and that was all you knew. But that hadn't been the case for Celia. "Where do you usually spend the break anyways?" She vaguely remembered Louis once giving her a macaron after a break spent in France, but she was pretty sure he lived in New Zealand somewhere.

 

[Louis Alcott]

Louis thought that it wasn’t very strange the girl who did something so mean didn’t have many friends. He frowned when Celia mentioned she hadn’t really known her that well either. “Then why did she do that to you?” He asked, confused. He would never consider doing something like that, but if he did, he was pretty sure the person would have to be his worst enemy.

Celia’s assessment of Zephyrn’s chaser abilities made Louis smile a bit, but also roll his eyes. “Alright, then who is a good chaser in your eyes?” He asked her. Zephryn was annoying sometimes, but she was good. Louis was pretty sure Celia just didn’t like chasers all that much, she probably didn’t think of them as very useful for the game. Louis shrugged. “Maybe I can make her do all the boring stuff.” He said lightly. “Thanks.” He felt a little bad when Celia brought up she wasn’t really talking to anyone. He had forgotten for a second. At her question about their conversation, Louis nodded. “Obviously.” He said. “I just figured this was… less personal stuff, you know? So I just wanted to ask to be safe. I’m obviously not going to talk about any of this.” He paused. “Not even if I get mad at you again. I promise.” Celia had shared too many personal things. He couldn’t imagine telling anyone else.

Louis couldn’t help but laugh at the places Celia suggested. He could just picture them hanging out in a cornfield. He nodded. “You’re clearly in charge of the place, all of those suggestions are amazing.” He said with a smile. “But yeah, I’m fine with that.” He was pleasantly surprised by her question, it wasn’t very often that Celia asked him things about himself. “Sometimes we go to France to visit family, but usually we just stay here in New Zealand. The last few breaks I’ve just been trying to get out of the house as much as possible because my dad is annoying.” He admitted. He didn’t add that the reason he had so many fights with his dad was mostly because he tended to leave the house and stay away for a long time. Celia would probably give advice, good and solid advice, Louis didn’t really want that.

 

[Celia Vuong]

"Great question," Celia said, bitterness creeping into her voice. "I don't know." Yes, she'd been a little curt (and maybe also a little passive aggressive) to Seraphina the one time they'd spoken, but she'd hardly thought it would inspire such deep animosity. "Jealousy? Or maybe she's a psychopath with nothing better to do?" She hesitated. "I think Jenna might have also been involved." Now that was one relationship she'd badly misjudged. Celia had never had any illusions as to what Jenna was capable of, but the betrayal had still been shocking. Even if Jenna didn't have anything to do with the howler, the sudden end to their friendship in the aftermath had hurt more than she cared to admit.

Louis might be smiling, but Celia knew his ego was pretty fragile, especially when it came to Quidditch. "Indi," she replied. "Natalia. Lennox. Atlas." Okay, those last two were a definite stretch, but Celia genuinely believed Indi and Natalia were the best chasers at Hogwarts. There were a couple other decent chasers outside Slytherin, but she wasn't about to name them and give away free intel. "You could make her chase down the bludgers after practice," she suggested with a smirk. Though Celia was relieved when Louis confirmed that their conversation would stay private, she didn't completely trust his promise. Sure, he might believe what he was saying now, but who knew what would happen next time he got upset? The thing that gave her the most comfort was the knowledge that he'd also shared some intensely personal things, so they were locked in a stalemate of mutually assured destruction. "Okay," Celia said, nodding. "Just checking. And same here, I won't tell anyone. Everything said here stays here." It was a promise she only intended to keep as long as he did the same.

Celia raised an eyebrow when Louis decided to leave her in charge of picking the place. "I could probably make you regret that," she said, smiling a bit as she imagined trying to drag Louis to an art museum or a shopping mall. Celia listened in understanding as he explained that he'd spent the last few breaks trying to get away from his dad. She tried not to spend much time at home with her mom either, though it wasn't because her mom was annoying. Rather, there was just too much anger and hurt and resentment between the two of them. While Celia knew it was all one-sided (and from her side, to be more specific), sometime along the years, all that pain had calcified into a barrier that Celia wouldn't have known how to cross even if she'd wanted to. It made being around her mom impossible. "At least you'll be able to apparate this year," she pointed out. "You could go all the way to France without him ever knowing."

 

[Louis Alcott]

Louis shrugged at Celia's suggestions. "Probably both." He said. He then was surprised as she mentioned Jenna. Louis was obviously aware of Jenna, but he'd never really spoken to her. She was the sort of pretty girl that even intimidated Louis, and he hadn't liked how she had treated René. He frowned. "Involved how?" He asked, wondering what made Celia think this.

When Celia mentioned the first two chasers, Louis had to agree. But when she went on, he laughed as he realized she was just naming Slytherin chasers. He stared at her, eyebrows raised. "Right, I forgot your house has the only good chasers. The third year is especially awe-inspiring." He joked, wondering if Celia purposely wasn't naming any other houses because she didn't want him to know anything about her strategies, or if she was just focused on her own team. Louis was relieved when Celia confirmed she also wouldn't tell anyone, though he had kind of offered to spread rumors about his mother around. In hindsight, he was kind of glad they weren't going with that plan. Celia was smart.

Louis grinned when Celia said she could make him regret putting her in charge of the spot. He shrugged. "Go ahead, I don't mind." He said. He nodded in agreement when Celia spoke about apparition, smiling a bit. "I know, with any luck he won't even notice I left." He said with a sigh. "It'd save us a lot of fights." He admitted. "He caught me sneaking back in late at night a few times last break and he's become all overprotective." He rolled his eyes.

 

[Celia Vuong]

Celia sighed. "I don't know." She knew she was repeating herself, but she had no idea what to believe or trust. "She used to be friends with Seraphina, and it was her handwriting on the howler." Celia knew that for most people, the handwriting would be the smoking gun, but it just didn't add up. "But Seraphina was the only one who knew the stuff about my dad, and it doesn't make any sense that Jenna would do that." For one, Jenna and Seraphina would've had to secretly reconcile — a laughable thought. Plus, Jenna had nothing to gain by doing this. Celia had always deferred to Jenna, even allowing her to take the Elite Sisterhood presidency instead of insisting upon co-presidents, and she was pretty sure she didn't pose any sort of threat to the older girl. She didn't think she had pissed Jenna off recently either.

At Louis' comment, Celia just shrugged. "I can't help it if Slytherin has all the best players," she said loftily. She'd sort of meant it as a joke, but she also believed it. There were a few exceptions, but in general, her team was exceptionally strong, cup or no cup. "It's okay if you're jealous of the third year. Maybe someday you'll be as good as her," she said lightly, her tone free of the condescension and hostility that would normally accompany such a remark.

"That sounds like a challenge," Celia remarked, surprised to find that she was actually contemplating places where they could meet. As Louis complained about his dad, Celia studied him carefully. When he had first mentioned wanting to get away from his house, she had wondered if it was normal annoying parent stuff or if there was something more to it. She still couldn't quite tell. "So he started getting overprotective after he caught you sneaking back in?" The order didn't make sense to Celia. Wouldn't an overprotective parent refuse to let their kid go out in the first place? Plus, staying out after curfew seemed like a rather innocuous offense, certainly not something that would trigger overprotectiveness on its own. "Nothing else happened?" Celia knew she was prying, so to make up for it, she decided to offer a solution to his immediate problem. "You'll probably get caught less this year if you use a disillusionment charm and some sort of silencing spell."

 

[Louis Alcott]

Louis nodded thoughtfully as Celia laid out the evidence. She had thought this true, which was very like her. He frowned. "But why else would her handwriting be on the envelope?" He asked, not sure how that could be explained away. But Celia was better than him at this, so he didn't think her doubt was unfounded.

A few years ago, Celia's comments about Slytherin would have made Louis mad. Now, he had the knowledge that the Gryffindor team had come a lot closer to the cup this year. He also had the common sense not to say that. "Maybe Lennox can give me some lessons." He joked instead, fully confident in his abilities. He could tell Celia also meant it as a joke, which felt... nice.

Louis hid a smile when Celia said it sounded like a challenge, knowing she was on board. He snorted. "Yeah. Growing up, he was always the fun dad. Y'know. Let me do irresponsible things." He counted on his fingers. "Like letting me eat popcorn or candy for dinner, ordering midnight pizza together when I was like eight, pretty sure I threw up that time, letting me stay up until I fell asleep on the carpet while he had friends over... I loved that stuff as a kid. But now suddenly he's I guess realizing he's my dad, and is all strict. Just when I'm pretty much an adult." Louis grinned at Celia gave him some pointers. "That's a good idea. I'll keep that in mind."

 

[Celia Vuong]

Celia ran her fingers through the grass, tearing up more blades. "That's the part I can't figure out." She knew she was starting to sound like a broken record, but she'd spent a lot of time puzzling over this, and she was no closer to an answer. "I guess it doesn't matter who's responsible for what," she said bitterly. "Seraphina's gone. Jenna's about to be gone. And I can't do anything." The helplessness bothered her almost as much as the howler itself. Not only would it be obvious that she was the culprit behind any retaliation against Jenna, but it would invite comparisons to her father. There was nothing to do but watch her reputation and friendships disintegrate.

The thought of Lennox giving Louis lessons was comical, though perhaps not for the reasons Louis had in mind. Celia snorted. "Now that, I would love to see." The younger Slytherin always seemed to be in a bad mood during practice, and Celia still wasn't sure if that was the girl's default state or if it was a normal reaction to constantly getting hit by bludgers. However, she decided not to defend Lennox, figuring it would be more strategic for Louis to underestimate her next year. Then he would be caught off-guard when she stole the quaffle from him.

The relationship Louis had with his dad sounded absolutely foreign to Celia. It wasn't even that her parents had been especially strict. Rather, they just... hadn't been there. Not in that way. Her dad had always been busy with work, and she couldn't imagine her mom ever ordering a midnight pizza with her. "So now he's trying to make up for all those years before you move out," she concluded. Celia knew a thing or two about guilt-ridden parents, and she couldn't say they inspired feelings of sympathy. "You just have to make it through two more breaks." Looking to the future was the only way Celia knew to stay sane. She just had to keep reminding herself that eventually she would graduate. Eventually she would be free. At Louis' compliment, she smiled. "All my ideas are good," she joked.

 

[Louis Alcott]

Louis wondered what sort of plan it would have to be if Celia couldn't figure it out. He watched her for a moment, feeling sad for her even though he knew better than to say it. Why couldn't he pity a friend when they were being wronged? But he knew Celia's pride couldn't take it. "I guess not." He said when she said she couldn't do anything. It didn't sound like her, but he supposed she was right.

Celia's insight in his dad made Louis shrug. "Maybe. Or he realized that letting a cute kid do whatever they want is harmless, but now he's all worried I like, do stupid stuff." He shrugged again, frowning. "And all things considered, I feel like I turned out pretty decently. I don't steal, I don't do anything bad. I just want to have fun." He said, looking away. "It's not like I want to get away from my dad, but he's just annoying lately." He said, actually a little alarmed by the reality of moving out of his dad's house in a short time. He laughed at Celia's last comment about always having good ideas. "Annoyingly so."

 

[Celia Vuong]

Celia was on Louis' side mostly out of principle. Still, she did have to wonder if maybe he had done something stupid to cause his dad to suddenly become so overprotective. She could think of a lot of things aside from stealing that a parent might not want their kid doing. "Define 'fun,'" she said, careful to keep her tone light enough that it didn't sound like an attack. As Louis reversed course on wanting to get away from his dad, Celia felt a slight pang. She knew her relationship with her mom wasn't normal, but that became so much more clear when she heard other people talk about their parents. "Maybe if you remind him that you're graduating, he'll realize he doesn't want to spend your last year at home fighting and ease up," Celia suggested though she was unsure if Louis' dad would be able to be manipulated in this way. All she knew was that she got away with more than she probably should thanks to her mom's guilt. She smiled as Louis affirmed her claim though she knew that she'd also had some pretty bad ideas in the past. "If you ever want more, you can always ask," Celia said, a genuine offer wrapped in a joke. Their conversation had made her realize she didn't really mind talking to Louis about more serious topics, or "real sh*t" as he'd previously put it.