Fear is a Friend

Indianna Lee

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Wand
Holly Wand 11" Essence of Phoenix Feather
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fear is a friend that you misunderstood
BUT I KNOW THE HEART OF LIFE IS GOOD
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The dappled sunlight fell in rays over Indianna Grace as she perched beneath a willow tree,
marvellously hidden from the world behind the evergreen waterfall of leaves that tumbled
effortlessly from its branches. But even if it were that some busybody student was taking
peeps at her through her leafy fortress, the raven-haired girl would never have been any
wiser. Her honey and grass green eyes were working in some sort of silent cha cha, just
taking and giving, taking and giving as she leant breaths of her memory to the pages of
the leather bound notebook that had been propped up in her lap. Her lead pencil worked
steadily at recreating the age-old magic of the shingles that adorned the castle’s conical
roof, tracing each fragment, knot and imperfection from memory before stealing another
glance of the scenic foreground and tying it once again to the visual tale her hand drew.
The colours mattered not to the fifteen year old, at least not in the way they should. For
although she had confidence in the precision of her hand, not even the greatest palette
of colours would ever be able to do such a sight justice. The sun, as it inched closer and
closer to the hill-swallowed horizon, seemed intent on spitting out a rainbow of colours
as it heaved its last dying breaths of the day. And they were magnificent; periwinkle and
seashell, fiery shades of amber and a vermillion red, and she knew what came next, her
most favourite of all. That astonishing coral pink that seemed to stain the white clouds.

For now, her work was done. A stroke of lead at the castle’s eave to which she’d return
to in the morning was all that the girl could make once the structure had been silhouetted
in the twilight. For now, the peace was done and it was back to the Transfiguration paper
that seemed to hang around like a bad smell on her desk. Back to the lonely thoughts of
home back in London, her pony, her own bedroom, her studio but most of all her mother.
There was no one that she quite missed more. Sighing, the arty girl flipped her notebook
shut and tied its bursting contents back up with the ribbon of pretty fabric. Indi had told
herself that she’d not fall into this trap again, the next two years would be made all that
more worse if she tackled them with such a downer attitude. But it was hard, it was just
so hard for her to break from those shadows, to speak up and out, and throw herself in
to the world. Having been witness to the consequences, it was a risk that she was ever
anxious to take. The Autumn breeze rippled through the willow then, brushing against
the skin that lay bare and uncovered on her arms thanks to the spaghettified straps of
her floral patterned dress. And for the first time in a very long time, she all of a sudden
wished for a friend she could snuggle up to a jumper they might lend her. And not for the
first time, Indianna found herself wishing that she was different and better and braver.
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ICON; HURR
QUOTE; HEART OF LIFE-JOHN MAYER
TEMPLATE; MINE BICHAS :)
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This school hadn't been as bad as Falcon had first thought. As soon as he had been told that he would be attending Beauxbaton's Academy of Magic, in France, he'd thought he'd been sent to a girl's school. How he had got that impression, he had no idea, but had been considerably relieved to find other males in his company. Feeling better than he had since arriving, Falcon pocketed his wand, and moved outside onto the lawn. The autumn sunshine warmed his bare arms as he picked his way across the grounds, in no particular direction. As he began to relax, his mind automatically slipped back into the repetitive thoughts of his mother, and his new home.

The five years since his mother had passed had seemed a blur. It could have been yesterday that he had come home from soccer practice to find his mother on the floor, in what he had then thought was just another of her sleeps, bottle of wine spilling onto the floor next to her. However he would never forget picking up her ice cold hand, ready to try and pull and her to the bathroom like usual.

The sun slipped behind the clouds, seeming to match Falcon's sudden dark thoughts. It would plague him for the rest of his life, he knew. Life had moved on, however, and after five foster homes, he had ended up here. And so far, it hadn't been half bad. Away from the groups of people chattering in a language he didn't understand, all trying to catch the last of the year's sun, it was much quieter, which was slightly lonely. Friends were something that Falcon valued above everything. They had been his escape from reality at home when he was a child, and right now, he felt as if he needed one. Yet, with these thoughts, he removed himself further from the other students, looking for a place to sit. A willow tree stood, providing a sheltered spot for him to enter. Falcon parted the branches, and poked his head through "Whoa- Sorry" he said, surprised to see another person there. He was about to pull his back out, before he noticed that the girl sitting there happened to be very pretty "Good spot you've got here" he added, giving her a half smile.
 
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The breeze whipped through the willow tree once more, it’s icy temperature sliced like a
knife through Indianna’s skin as she sat there bare-skinned and freezing. Goosebumps
had long ago risen all over her olive skin, and the shivers that coursed through her little
body were beginning to grow visible but for some foolish reason her bare feet would not
move. There was something so peaceful and so like home about the tree that bound the
girl with the incessant need to tie herself up to it and avoid the other students at all costs.
A bit longer, please just a little bit longer, she reasoned silently with herself, making good
work to convince herself that Transfiguration didn’t matter, that school didn’t matter. But
oh how she knew it did. If Indi wanted to be a healer then she’d have to match the effort.

Yet another lonesome sigh broke past her lips as Indianna cast her sparkling eyes to the
filtered image of her backdrop but recoiled immediately with a fright. The crunch of grass
reached her ears before the sight of the face did and those steps, they sounded awfully
heavy for a girl’s. Like a young doe in flight response, the fifteen year old froze and with
eyes as wide as saucers she stared through the thinning in the branches. It was a boy, a
boy her own age at that it seemed. And Indianna could think of no worse scenario. There
was somewhere deep inside of her that told her she was over reacting, that not all boys
were bad news. But after her father had left her mother black and blue, night after night
after treacherous night, who could really blame her? Who was to say that she wouldn’t
fall for this boy, for any boy on these grounds, and have them terrorise her on so many
different levels? She sucked in a breath as she heard the leaves whisper as they rustled
against one another, drawing out her secret to the newcomer. She held the tightness in
her lungs as he stepped forward into her personal bubble, one that she had extended
ten feet from around her and glanced him off with wide green golden eyes. A relief came
to wash through her at his brisk apology, it seemed as if she’d have her peace after all.
But then he looked at her, like really looked at her and Indi’s cheeks grew a rose pink in
hue. Indianna was a pretty creature, it had been said by many and she was no stranger
to the looks boys gave her sometimes but with all her heart she just wished they’d look
in the opposite direction. He spoke out again in a voice that’s friendliness she wanted so
badly to deny, so she’d have an excuse to flit of in the opposite direction. But Indianna
knew as well as any other teen that there was a code of social conduct to follow. And
she hated it, every last binding contract of it. “It’s okay. Quiet too.” Her soft voice lulled
towards him as she clutched the leather bound book to her chest in a fearful avoidance
of his gaze; half-hoping he’d leave and the other half hoping that maybe he’d be the one
to magically help her over her phobia of boys. She couldn’t simply stay this way forever.
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ICON; HURR
QUOTE; HEART OF LIFE-JOHN MAYER
TEMPLATE; MINE BICHAS :)
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Falcon felt a little uncomfortable, as he studied the girl. She almost seemed... Scared. He was tempted to check his hair, or ask if there was something on his face. There seemed to be something about his presence that was making her uncomfortable. He averted his eyes from her hair, pretending to study the leaves behind her head. He felt undeniably awkward, as he now realised that he was invading her personal space. However he couldn't just run away now. He smiled a little apologetically "I bet I'm not helping the quiet..." he said, glancing down at his feet.

Trying not to seem as if he was staring, Falcon glanced back up at the girl. He took in the notebook the girl held tight to her, before looking back up to her face "I can go... If you want me to" he offered slowly, though he didn't really want to leave. This tree had effectively blocked out the rest of the school, which was what he had been looking for, he now realised. It was also why this girl was here, he also knew. He shuffled his feet a little, waiting for her reply. The seemingly shy girl might make a good first friend, he thought by looking at her. Not the type to manipulate, or use him. Though Falcon was quite good at figuring those people out by now.
 
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BUT I KNOW THE HEART OF LIFE IS GOOD
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Indianna Grace’s eyes of emeralds and riches flitted down to her bare feet awkwardly as
the sweet boy with the dirty blonde hair chose to disengage her gaze. Most of her sighed
in relief, glad not to be thrusted into what weak spotlight he might impose upon her. And
yet she felt so guilty, so discomforted by this irrational phobia of hers. This boy might just
be one of the nicest ones on the planet and because of these walls of stone she fought
to build up around herself she would never be any wiser. Something had to change, Indi
knew as much. She wanted a family one day, she wanted a house on a hill and a swing
set in the yard. She was never going to get it in her ode of silence around boys like him.

Guilt was the heat rising in her cheeks as his words haunted Indianna. Not only was she
making herself uncomfortable but he too with what might have as well been her inability
to speak. This has to stop, she told herself over and over and over again but all that she
could do was shake her head feebly. "I can go... If you want me to" Indi felt the rims of
her eyes widen but this time in the fear that she had forced him to feel this way, that she
was just so damn unwelcoming that he was plagued by this incessant need to find a tree
elsewhere. Her little chin moved up and down as her mouth opened and closed, trying to
find the words she knew he needed to hear. "N-no. It’s okay." She spoke softly although
she nearly died on the inside as the first syllable mouthed was stuttered. The vice grip
she had had on her sketchbook loosened noticeably as one arm came down to her right
side and raked some stray leaves from the grass, making the spot suitable for him to sit
in. "I’m Indianna." Her sweet voice was louder this time as she pressed him a twinkling
smile, the pretty dimples clear in her cheeks, though not knowing quite what else to say.
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ICON; HURR
QUOTE; HEART OF LIFE-JOHN MAYER
TEMPLATE; MINE BICHAS :)
<i>
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Falcon was half regretting poking his head into this particular tree. This girl seemed almost painfully shy. And when he was around people like this, Falcon's own self conscious side came out. Pretending to have seen a very intriuging leaf by the toe of his shoe, he avoided looking back at her, even though it was quite a pleasing sight. If it hadn't been for the fact that this situation had turned a little awkward, Falcon would've thought this girl would've made quite a good friend. He despised those people that just needed to be the centre of attention every second of every day, and bossed him around, telling him what he should and shouldn't do. Somebody quieter he could relate to far better.

Falcon glanced back up at her briefly, to see that her cheeks had tinged pink. Aw man he thought to himself. He hated making people feel uncomfortable, and it just made his own emotions worse. Keeping his gaze on her, and trying hard not to seem as if he was staring, he felt even worse as her eyes widened. Did he really seem that imposing? Maybe he was just over-reacting, and the girl had a very expressive face. He hoped it was the latter. Looking back down at the earthy ground, he waited for the moment when he would be able to retreat from the tree, and walk away, half-hoping that he would never see this girl again. However he sharply back up, eyes brighter, when she stop him from leaving.

He paused, in case she changed her mind, before slowly sitting down beside her, in the cleared patch she'd made for him. The girl, Indianna he now knew, smiled at him, and he couldn't help but smile back. Falcon looked away for a second "Falcon" he said in return, offering his hand in attempt at politeness. After invading her tree, he felt as if he needed to redeem himself. "What've you been doing under this tree?" he asked, his tone curious, and his Canadian accent prominent. He only now realised that Indianna spoke English, unlike most around here.
 
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The frantic beating of her heart in her chest accelerated to speeds Indi was sure she had
never experienced before as the boy with the nice smile seated himself down next to her
in the spot she had so gingerly offered up. “Falcon” Her smile grew wider, leaving a pair
of straightly set, pearly whites to shine out towards him. “Nice name,” she muttered in a
voice so soft that it might as well have been beneath her breath. But whether he heard it
or not, it was indeed the thought that counted and Indianna had needed a hell of a lot of
it to rake up the courage to even be able to open herself up this tiny little bit to him. Her
eyes made a quick dart to his outstretched hand and her own dainty one followed a few
seconds after; petite fingers curling weakly around his in a soft shake and then dropped
it awkwardly. She didn’t have much experience with handshakes, nor any other type of
social gestures a boy may make, small talk being one of them, she noted at his question.

The soft coral pink of her lips pursed in thought and nimble fingers twisted themselves in
the worn leather of her sketchbook, each carving and indent like the embrace of an old
friend to her touch. “I um...” The raven haired girl shifted nervously and crossed her legs
beneath her Indian style as she racked her mind for an answer. Drawing? But what on
earth would she do if he asked to see her sketches? Not one being had seen them save
for her beloved mother and Atticus, god bless him and his little feline antics. Talking to a
boy was one thing, showing him her work was quite another. But Indianna had to begin
somewhere and Falcon, as Indi knew him now, seemed innocent and sweet enough not
to act out abnormally. “I was just doing some, um, sketches while the light was still good.”
Those eyes ringed with gold and emerald spun about the pair, noticing the darkness that
was beginning to cloak them. “Just... Getting away from, well, everything.” The bangles
that bound her wrist tinkled as she lifted a finger to catch a few stray strands of hair and
push them away from her eyes. It seemed easier, to smile now as she returned a, “You?”
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ICON; HURR
QUOTE; HEART OF LIFE-JOHN MAYER
TEMPLATE; MINE BICHAS :)
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</i>
 
Falcon glanced at Indianna again, and couldn't help but laugh a little at her smile. It was the type of smile that made him strangely happy, lighting up their secret spot under the tree. He heard her mutter something, which he didn't quite catch, but he let it be. Those people who seemed to want to know everything that was going on got on his very last nerve, and he could not stand them, and so was careful not to do so himself. Falcon took notice of her soft grip, and shook her hand lightly. The corners of his mouth lifted again. The fact that Indianna didn't seem used to contact like this was almost cute.

Falcon waited patiently while she thought out her answer. Glad that he had not run away as he had been tempted to before, Falcon looked down, his hair falling down in front of his eyes, as he twirled a small twig between his fingers. Though Falcon was quite skilled at making small talk, he had come to despise it, finding it pointless and boring. However, he wasn't about to start trying to acting as if he had been friends with this girl for years, just to bypass it. Falcon's eyes moved to the book still held protectively by Indiana as she spoke, before glancing outside at the darkening sky. He wasn't quite sure about any curfews here, if it had been mentioned, he would have no idea. Even if there was, he would be reluctant to leave this girl and tree. He nodded "Getting away from everything... Yeah" he said slowly, smiling over at her "It doesn't help that I can't speak a word of French" he added, looking back down. It was hard in a place where he knew no one and nothing about the culture. "Do you?" he asked her. Though he had noticed that her accent was British, there was a possibility that she did speak the native language.
 
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The tenseness within Indianna began to ebb from her body with every word spoken, this
boy seemed harmless after all. Not like her father and the poison green of his eyes, the
clenched jaw and the putrid stink of alcohol and tobacco. There was no bite in his words,
no sting in his gaze and no lies in that laugh. Would a having Falcon as a friend really be
any different than a friendship she would share with a girl? Indianna gazed at him then in
an unseen act of bravery as his fingers twirled a twig about and her curious eyes began
to search for his behind a floppy fringe, a smile tweaking the glow of her expression ever
so slightly. But from the moment he looked up her gaze was no longer direct, flitting back
and forth delicately, like the family of sparrows that nested in her yard every springtime.
To completely heal the damage Indi’s father had inflicted would take time, but right now
beneath the willow tree, Falcon seemed to be making a head way, not that he knew it.

Despite their obvious degree of difference in gender, Indianna was quickly seeing that
herself and Falcon had much more in common than she would have ever allowed herself
to admit before. It was almost as if they were kindred spirits; fed up of school, fed up of
French gossiping. It was all growing to be a little too much for the fifteen year old. But he
then asked her if she spoke the language and she giggled a, “Oui.” Another giggle rose
from her throat as she looked to him but not knowing where the sudden burst of courage
had come from, Indianna was quick to settle with a blush soft on her cheeks. “But only a
little and not well. My fa-”
She stopped abruptly, blisteringly aware that she had just been
about to mention her father, the one she feared most in the world. Eyes flashed in a fear
she was used to feeling, but only for a fleeting second before she corrected herself. “My
grandmother’s French... Everyone here talks too quickly for me though.”
Indianna’s eyes
met with Falcon’s only for a fleeting second before she suddenly became very interested
in the bangles and bracelets on her wrists. He’d probably think her a freak now, and that
was something that she suddenly realised she didn’t want. She didn’t want him to have
this wacked perception of her, she didn’t want to spoil the opportunity for this friendship.
“Are you um.. From America then?” Indianna asked as she cautiously brought her eyes
up to dive into his once more, attempting to steer the conversation in a different direction.
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ICON; HURR
QUOTE; HEART OF LIFE-JOHN MAYER
TEMPLATE; MINE BICHAS :)
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</i>
 
Falcon was aware of Indianna's gaze upon him, and he fiddled with the twig. It was an unfortunate habit of his. Whenever he was put into any situation that caused him strong emotions, his first instinct was to fidget. It removed him. Falcon was normally very aware of what strong emotions were going through him, however at this time, he was not sure. Awkwardness? No, that had almost disappeared as he had sat down. He wasn't sure, what else could be felt when meeting somebody new? He left it, figuring that he would know soon enough. He forced himself to drop the twig, looking back up into her hazel cloloured eyes.

Falcon rolled his eyes as she spoke a single word of the language, and couldn't help but grin slightly "Okay, even I know that much" he said. Though not much more. Languages had never been the light in his life, however here he was at a completely foreign school. He wasn't surprised by her next words. French, the 'language of love' seemed to attract girls like bees to honey. He had never understood it. Though Indianna had broken off abruptly, Falcon could guess what had been about to come out of her mouth. So there were hostilities towards her father. Well he could understand that, though in a different way. What he felt towards his own father, who he didn't know, was more of a apprehensive disappointment. Though there had never been a real male figure in his life, he did not want to know his father, or have one. And the fact that this man, whoever he was, had slept with his mother and then never talked to her again seemed in-excusable.

"They talk so fast, I don't even see how they understand each other..." Falcon agreed, shaking his head slightly, looking back down at his lap, his fingers inching back towards the twig. Her next words made him smile again, one side of his mouth lifting higher than the other. A question that he had been asked countless times "I'm Canadian" he said, looking sideways at her, the crooked smiled still on his face. People that hadn't spent a considerable amount of time in either country usually found it almost impossible to tell the difference between the two accents. In return, he asked "I'm guessing you're British?"
 
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The smiles began to grow naturally now, touched with a lustre that had not been seen in
a very long time. Indianna did not know how Falcon was doing what he did, especially as
he probably had no clue he was doing it either but somehow and someway he had her at
hello. The apprehension was still within her for opening herself up, piece by tiny piece, to
anybody (much less a boy) but talking the way they were made her feel comfortable for
the first time in a very long time with someone other than her mother. The stirred hues of
her irises seemed to light up at his laughter, pulling a few responsive giggles from Indi in
return. It amazed her how fond of him she was quickly growing, how she was able to see
him so easily as a prospective friend. Perhaps she underestimated herself too much and
spun falsities in her mind like a sticky web because Falcon gave his gender a good
name.

Indi’s cheeks lifted and her mouth pulled into a soft circle as Falcon revealed that he was
not in fact American but Canadian. It was a simple mistake to make, that much she knew
but the fifteen year old could not help but chortle a little at her ignorance, something that
he must have gotten all the time. “Canadian, right.” The girl grinned, a laugh still lingered
in her sweet voice as she did so and it only grew in size as he guessed at her origins. He
was right of course, for most of the part. Her head bobbed up and down as she chimed
an answer, “I am, I am.” Suddenly it seemed as if her vision was fighting to cut an image
of the boy through the darkness of the night and after edgily shifting her sketchbook from
her lap, Indianna’s nimble fingers curled into the soft blades of grass and dug her wand
out from within them. “Lumos,” came her soft voice, a mere whisper in the breeze before
a beam of light spurted from her wand, giving the new friends their sight back amongst
the shadows of the impending night. Placing it on the ground, Indianna proceeded to lay
belly down in the grass and propped her chin up in both of her palms as she looked up
to Falcon. “But, my mother’s Latina y puedo hablar en español.” She cast a beam up at
the boy then, the gold in her eyes glinting cheekily in the light of her wand. Indianna had
fallen in love with the native tongue at a very young age and broke out in it often, able to
fluently work her mouth around each and every vowel sound with the precision that her
mother could. They conversed in it almost as much as they did English, it was like their
little secret in a world full of Europeans. “What do you get up to around here then?” The
girl asked him, suddenly curious because she would likely be doing the very same thing.
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Blahh.

ICON; HURR
QUOTE; HEART OF LIFE-JOHN MAYER
TEMPLATE; MINE BICHAS :)
<i>
</i>
 
Sorry about the late reply. I'm really run down at the moment.

Indianna's smile had gained a brightness, one that was quite irrepressible, and that Falcon could not help but return. Trying not to grin like an idiot, he looked down back down, all the while cursing his non-existent ability to effortlessly talk to girls. He was generally good at talking to people and making conversation, but when it came to some girls, particularly this one he was finding, it was hard. He laughed a little too, eyes still to the ground. Looking up, the smile on his face stayed on his face, as he reached up to flick some unruly hair out of his eyes.

Falcon smiled a little softly "Apparently we sound the same" he said, but shook his head after. American accents were far different in his opinion, though he didn't get offended when asked if he came from America, like some people he knew. It just made him laugh a little. Falcon wanted to ask more about why she was here in France, and where abouts in England she was from, but refrained from the personal questions. He didn't want to pry and make her uncomfortable, which he sensed was easy to do. Falcon glanced around as she illuminated her wand. He had been so absorbed in this meeting, which had been one of the only he had at this school so far, he hadn't even noticed that the light was diminishing. He also reached for his wand, though did not feel as confident as he raised it. After being home schooled in magic by various foster parents, Falcon's magical abilities were rather shaky. Though to his relief when he muttered the incantation, the tip of his wand shone brightly in the dark space under the willow tree.

Falcon gave her a lost look when she spoke rapidly in what sounded like Spanish "You... What?" he asked blankly. He thought about her question for a couple of seconds before shaking his head "Absolutely nothing... Except trying not to make French girls angry" he said, grinning wryly "What do you get up to?" he asked in return.
 

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