Far from the Maddening crowd

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

Andromeda had gone to see her DADA professor and asked her for a note for the restricted section of the library to show the librarians. Professor Rowann didn't seem to mind in the slightest and had only asked as to why she needed to go there. The simple word 'werewolf' had made her smile before she had written out the note that was needed. Andy walked slowly down through the rows of books after being shown the way in and looked in awe at them. These were books she had never even contemplated going near. She had been in here once before with the professor herself but had been too polite to even begin browsing through the massive tomes lining the shelves.

Andy went directly to the section that the professor had told her to go away down the back where it seemed dim and dusty, cobwebs even hung here. Obviously an area where not even the house elves bothered with. She scanned the shelves until finally she came to the one she needed and pulling down two of the books she decided to start with these before moving on to any of the others. The dust that flew from the book as she placed it on the table made her sneeze a bit, so she took a little more care turning the pages of the book that was to give her more insight into her being a werewolf. How evil she might really be and why that image of herself as an evil person had come to hurt her and the others during the vacation.

With all the reading she was doing, her mind was bound to drift at some point. She lost track of how long she was there for until eventually she slumped onto her arm that rested on the table and began to snore gently in her slumber.

 

[Crispin V. Cold]

Crispin unrolled the scroll from his pocket. His robes were unbuttoned and opened, thrown over faded jeans and a dark grey tee shirt. His shoes were unremarkable, scuffed but in the best shape he could manage. Money didn't flow in his family. If it hadn't been for the money he'd scraped away, he'd never have managed to make it to the school. He needed knowledge and there was only one place he'd been interested in going; the Restricted Section. He'd managed to get a pass from Professor Rowann. It'd been kind of her, seeing as they'd never met before this school year.

He rounded a corner, nearly getting lost around all of the books. He couldn't help touching them, inhaling the old musty scent that great minds had once touched before him. Suddenly he spotted flame red hair, sprawled over pale arms. A girl slept at the table, her shoulders gently rising with each breath. Who was she? Crispin came up to her and lightly touched her shoulder.

 

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

Andy had been dreaming, dreaming of Bruin coming back for her. Surprising her one Brightstone weekend, catching her and lifting her up, swinging her around as she threw her head back and laughed. So happy to be with him again, she had thrown her arms about his neck and kissed him. Eventually he had placed her back down and smiled sadly at her but she hadn't noticed. She had simply reached for his hand and tried to walk on, calling to him to move. Her hand had slipped from his as she had moved forward. Bruin called her name and touched her shoulder.
"I can't come back Andy" his voice was sad, she stopped with her back to him. His hand remained on her shoulder as he called her name again. Andromeda reached her hand up to touch his but he was all ready gone.

As she slowly woke from the dream, she could feel the hand on her shoulder. Instinctively she reached for it, touching the boys hand. Thinking she was back in her dream, she smiled. He hadn't left her, she held tight to the hand and quickly stood up turning to face him with the brightest most dazzling of smiles. Her eyes still heavy from sleep.
"Br... oh... who are you?" she came face to face with a stranger, her smile was short lived as she realized she had been dreaming. Looking down she saw it was the boys hand she was holding and quickly let it go. Bewilderment etched all over her face.
"Sorry, I ... Who are you?"

 

[Crispin V. Cold]

Crispin's hand jerked in hers as she gripped him tight. Unused to physical contact, he nearly flung her hand from him. She seemed to be dreaming though, he didn't want to scare her. He stood there, insecurity gripping him. Then the girl stood and she was nearly as tall as he. Yet it wasn't her height that captivated him. It was the smooth skin of her warm hand and the blinding smile with hazy eyes. He watched as joy, pure joy stared at him and as she started to call him by another's name, for a moment he desperately wished she were looking at him, just him, that way. Whomever this person was, they were lucky. He hoped they knew that.

For a moment he mourned the loss of her warm, comforting hand and the sleepy smile. Quickly he shook that off. He couldn't face those feelings of emptiness, dig up pathetic memories of sniveling, wishing someone would or could love him. "My name is Crispin. I'm sorry if I frightened you."

 

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

Andy ran a hand through her hair and gulped quietly. She glanced down at the book still opened and remembered where she was.
"I fell asleep didn't I" she said it more as a statement than a question as each facet of the dream came back to her like vivid flashbacks. She needed to clear them, get rid of all thoughts of Bruin. She had to, this was going on too long. Her fragmented heart was not going cope with the strain of missing Bruin much longer. Andy looked at the boy, older than her but not much taller. She didn't recognise him or the name he gave and wondered if he were a transfer or simply one of those students who just secluded themselves away.

Goodness knew she did after her return from Durmstrang.
"Crispin? sorry I.. you didn't frighten me. Sorry I was holding your hand... why was I holding your hand?" she shouldn't have asked, the images of the dream were still popping like a klaeidescope in her head. She leaned against the table she had been asleep at moments before. The back area of the library where they were seemed so much darker now and Andy wondered how long she had been asleep for.

"I'm Andromeda, Andy" she was slowly regaining her equilibrium, slowly becoming aware that she was in a dimly lit restricted area alone with a stranger and yet, she wasn't afraid. She looked up at him once more and realized his eyes were possibly stranger than her own amber ones. One appeared to be blue while the other was black. She could not help but stare at him and it suddenly felt as if the 'evil' version of herself was squirming her way in again. Andy felt a tidal wave overcome her, why would she possibly be afraid of this boy when she was the werewolf here. She smiled at him, one of her sweetest most enchanting smiles.

 

[Crispin V. Cold]

Crispin stood there, his arms at his sides. This girl made him nervous, as though a thousand nerves were under his skin and she'd thrown the lightswitch. He began to fidget and hurriedly shoved his hands in his robes pockets. He'd not show weakness, not now and not in front of anyone. He was through being weak. He waited for her to wake up and collect her thoughts. He didn't know how long she'd been asleep but it seemed as though her dreams had sucked her in. Crispin himself didn't dream. Never had, not since the night his parents were killed. In a way it was a blessing. No dreams also meant no nightmares.

"Pleasure to meet you, Andy." Polite reply, frazzled nerves. There was that smile again. Why did she have to smile at him like that? It was different when it was meant for someone else, the intent clear. When that lovely face looked up at him, it stirred something within him. He should grab the books he needed and go, flee to the safety of his room. Maybe see if Ashton wanted to practice some Quidditch. Coward. He could admit it. He wanted to get as far away from what Andy was making him feel as much as he wanted to stay and revel in it.

 

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

Andromeda pushed herself off the table gently only to be standing mere inches from Crispin now. She liked that he was taller than her. There was something all together more attractive to be looking up into a boys face rather than looking down as she had with some of the boys about the school. She looked at him closely perhaps too closely. Not knowing whether or not it was fragmented from her dreams or not but the need to be close to someone was almost over powering. The desire to held by someone infinitely consuming. She knew who she wanted to be held by as well but he was not here. He was miles away forgetting she existed.

Andy stayed standing close to him, the subtle scent of roses that usually surrounded her lingered in the air now. Maybe it was the dimmed light of the area they were in but it was so easy to close her eyes and pretend he was someone else. And she did. She closed her eyes and inhaled his scent, as if she didn't realise at fist what it was she was doing. Opening them again she saw the strange eyes and she frowned for a moment as if trying to remember who he was.
"I haven't seen you around before" her voice was hushed, soft and tender she would tell herself it was in reverence of the restricted library section but some how she also knew it was simply so the dreamlike feel that still surrounded her would remain just a little bit longer.

 

[Crispin V. Cold]

Crispin inhaled sharply as Andy invaded his space. His eyes couldn't help roving quickly down her form then flick back to her amber eyes. His knee jerk reaction was to simply step back, retreat. Weak. He couldn't be weak. So he stood his ground. What game was she playing? And why with him? His shoulders tightened as her scent reached him. Roses. Damn, why did she have to smell of roses. Her scent alone reminded him of the happiest years of his life. Which in turn made him feel safe, his guard lowered. That, he would later know, was his downfall.

His eyes narrowed as she closed her eyes and-scented him? As if she were drawing something of himself into her. It unnerved and aroused in him something he'd never felt before. Had she spoken? Dimly he heard himself reply, his voice just as hushed, rough tones. "I was homeschooled since fourth year. I only just got back." The room seemed to darken, shrink upon itself, the air charged. Crispin felt himself losing control. What magic was this that captured him?

 

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

Andromeda heard him speak and smiled her eyes lingering only on his lips as if she watched the words form and spill from them. Her own mouth opened slightly as if in response to his. This was sheer madness there was no other word for it and yet she seemed compelled to push herself, to break boundaries, to enter further into his personal space whether he wanted her too or not. So far he had given no indication that her close proximity to him was unnerving. She glanced down as her hand seemed to move of its own accord, slowly up to his arm. Her gaze stayed there for a moment wondering why she was touching him, why she couldn't move away from him. She didn't know him, was that what made this easier? Was she using him now to block out the images of Bruin in her head, in her heart? The brief thought of him once again made her close her eyes, shut him out. Keep him out, never let him get to her again.

Andy opened her eyes as if they burnt, the amber orbs flaming. It didn't matter who he was now, she wanted nothing more than to erase Bruin from herself. The space between them was divided now by only a sliver of air as she tilted her head and kissed him. Her mouth tasted his, moved gently and hungirly all at once. Her other hand came up to hold onto him as she felt almost drained weakened by the ferocity of the kiss. Slowly she moved her mouth from his and closed her eyes once again. There was nothing there, the image of Bruin was gone for now. Andy looked up at Crispin as if truly seeing him now.
"Welcome back".

 

[Crispin V. Cold]

Crispin let whatever this was between them wash over him. His muscles quivered painfully as she came closer to him than any girl had ever before. The world collapsed in on itself. There was no one else, only them, only this moment. His eyes closed as her soft hand smoothed up his hard arm. Touch. How many times had he craved even the simplest kind touch from another person? Years spent in the dark, wallowing in it, letting the lonliness fester. He'd let that darkness consume him until the day his grandfather died in front of him, choking on his own botched poison. Freeing Crispin to live his life the way he was meant to.

Freedom for Andy's lips to brush his own, for electricity to zap his skin where hers touched, for the gusts of air that escaped his nose as she fiercely kissed him. His hands, once useless by his sides, came up as if drawn by puppet strings to slide up the nape of her neck and into her hair. She spoke, words he couldn't discern. His eyes opened, met hers and if he weren't already glad to be back at this school, he was so now. "Thanks," he murmured before drawing her back against him, his head lowered and his mouth meshed with hers. Her red hair was soft in his fingers as he cupped the back of her head.

 

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

She hadn't known what to expect after that, it certainly wasn't him reclaiming her. Andy let the slightest of sighs escape her as she gave herself up to him, her own hands clutched at the front of his robes wanting him closer. This was the most intense kiss she had yet experienced, it felt as if he were giving everything of himself and she reciprocated willingly. Her mouth moved deftly over his until at last she knew she needed to breath. Tearing her mouth from his her breath came in rasps, deep and heaving as she fought for composure. She allowed her forehead to lean against his chin for a moment before looking up at him again. What had they done?

Andy waited for the crawling clawing feeling of disgust and hatred to overtake her but it didn't. After any boy that she had flirted with she had felt a piece of herself floating off in to the great unknown and had watched it go, not bearing to try to claim back any innocence that she once had clung to. She didn't feel bad about kissing this boy, she didn't hate herself for it. Still she held on to him, not sure whether she could even let go. Afraid she would actually wake up for real.
She felt she had to say something, anything.

"I guess it's the restricted section for a reason" the smile crept to her mouth like an emerging butterfly from its cocoon. How would he react to her now? Would he move her from him, tell her what a huge mistake that had been? Her amber eyes looked into his and waited as if her fate rested there.

 

[Crispin V. Cold]

Intense desire, the rightness of their kiss, blew him away. He lost all sense of time, of self. He didn't know where one began and the other ended. How long had their mouths moved together, breath mingled, hearts pounded? In all his seventeen years, he'd only felt a slight stirring around other girls. Mainly one whom he hadn't seen since his third year and even then he'd been too young to even fathom he could feel like this. Holding Andy, a girl whom he'd only just met, felt right. As if she were familiar yet dangerous at the same time.

Her breath, sweetly flavored, washed over him as their lips parted. He breathed in and out just as deeply, just as moved as she. Still, she clung to him. That in itself made it feel less a game from her, that maybe this was just something that'd been meant to happen. Passing ships in the night. What should he do now? Never had he been in this situation. Never had his lips touched anothers. He was still adrift, emotionally and physically.

He stared down at her, eyes turbulent with mixed emotions. He watched as her lips formed words. What she said struck him, as did her smile. Crispin could not stop himself from bursting out laughing right at that moment. Great laughs that brought tears to the corners of his eyes. How long had it been since he'd laughed like this? Had he ever? This girl was magic. She'd drawn more emotions out of him within moments than he'd felt in years.

Laughter waned to chuckles and he rested his forehead on hers for a moment before drawing back to meet her eyes. "I guess so." Finally the laughter faded and he stared at her with something akin to wonder. "Who are you, Andy?" he asked, his very tone saying everything for him. He believed she'd just poof, disappear, and this was all a wild illusion.

 

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

His laughter brought forth her own and she felt alive for the first time since Bruin had broken with her. All the other boys now seemed to pale in comparison and instantly she knew that was trouble. If he could make her forget everything and everyone, make her smile, make her laugh, begin to heal a wound that she had not thought possible of ever healing. Again she knew that this boy was different and ultimately dangerous. She didn't want to feel anything stronger again, she had only meant to have fun this year. Light frivolous fun but his kiss still tingled on her lips, the heat from his hands still warmed the back of her neck. She would quickly drown in him and lose herself completely and this she couldn't allow.

She took a deep calming breath and held a hand up to his chest as if she could touch his heart from here. She could feel the pulse beneath his shirt and opened her mouth with a sharp intake of breath. Amber eyes quickly looked into his.
'Who was she?'
She was evil incarnet. She was his worse nightmare, she was everything he should never allow himself to touch or want. Andy knew she would have to punish herself for letting this get out of control. The only way to do that was to step away from him now. Looking at him the whole time her pale skin almost glimmering in the faint light, her sheer will allowing the flame to die in her eyes. Andy stepped away from him, the coldness wrapping itself around her straight away.

"You don't want to know" she grabbed her bag, turned and ran. Not noticing the small journal that fell from her bag to the floor, a journal that contained her poetry, her tears her laughter, her only remaining glimpse of a soul. All her pain about being a werewolf, of her anguish over Bruin filled the pages of the book. In short the journal that fell to the floor was exactly who she was, each page contained the best and worst of her. Andy ran on, refusing to allow the tears to fall as she made her way out of the restricted section and hid amongst the ordinary book shelves of the outer library so he wouldn't find her.

 

[Crispin V. Cold]

Crispin felt the connection and looking down into her amber eyes, knew she felt it too. It scared him, deeply, yet he wanted more of what she could make him feel. He'd been an emotional anorexic for so long, the light she'd brought to him made him greedy for more. His fingers brushed over the hand she pressed to him. His lips touched her cheek. Already he could feel her drawing away from him and it hurt. Oh how it hurt. Don't take the sunshine away from me. It was insanity, it was weak to admit within himself, but it was an altogether different weakness.

He stood, empty handed, letting his hands fall back to his sides as she ran. From him? Insecurities, deeply rooted, sprouted viciously under his skin. "I do, Andy." He knew she couldn't have heard him. She was long gone. His words were true. Stooping, he scooped up the book. He stared at it in consideration, knowing it must be her journal. He felt cold, bruised, as he pocketed the worn little book. He wanted nothing more than to follow her lead, to run away from this place. But he forced himself to withdraw the books he needed, that he'd come for and walk at a slower pace.

He would see her again.

 

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

[The following day: ]


Andy had become almost blind with panic as she waited and waited for him to eventually leave, she watched behind the safety of strategically moved books. What had just happened? Her mind was in turmoil, for all her bravado in putting herself out there she had not expected that. She would have comfortably stayed there, in his arms smiling and laughing feeling as if she had no other place to go. When eventually she had been able to leave the library to strange looks from the librarian she had fled to the safety of her dorm only to find out later that night that her journal was no where to be found. She had emptied her satchel out, stripped her bed, ramsacked her trunk but to no avail. It was no where, the only place she could think of now was the restricted section of the library when she had rushed out of there. Of course she would have to wait till the following morning to try searching there, no matter how tempted she was to run directly there at that moment.

When the following morning eventually dawned Andy was hurriedly getting changed before the other girls even rose. She had barely slept again but this time it was not just Bruin that had kept her from wanting to sleep, every time she had closed her eyes it was either he or Crispin. Never could she see him but she could feel him. His arms about her, his hand holding her head. Even now as she ran to Professor Rowann's office her skin tingled with the sensation. She knocked hurriedly on the door of her chambers hoping the professor was a light sleeper like herself.

 

[Lola Rowann]

Lola had risen early as she always did, clad in her usual uncoordinated garb she made herself a pot of herbal tea and looked out her window. Sipping the liquid slowly she all but jumped out of her skin as loud pounding reverberated on her door. Glancing at her timepiece she wondered who in their right mind was up this early, smiling as she reminded herself that she was. Placing her cup down she walked sedately to the door and opening it found non other than Andromeda Fiorelli standing there.

"Well, this is ... most unusual. Miss Fiorelli what can I do for you? Is everything alright?" she smiled at the girl. Andromeda was one of the brightest students here but had so many issues she seemed to be constantly dealing with least of all her werewolf problems.

 

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

Andy could not even find the patience to smile at her professor and though she knew her behavior was irratic she had a feeling the professor would understand.
"I need to get back into the restricted section but the library will be closed at this hour and it's very important that I get in there before anyone else has a chance too Professor" her eyes were wide in a state of panic, hoping that her journal was still on either the table or the floor. Not once had she even begun to consider that Crispin may have found it.

"It's ... it's my journal Professor. It has everything in it about ..." she wasn't very well going to tell her that it had all about Bruin on almost every page and others held her conquests over the past few weeks, "about my being a werewolf. I know alot of people probably know by now".

The edge to her voice was rising, her panic rose. That journal was the only claim she had left to a soul, she had to find it.
"Please Professor" her last words were a cry from the embittered fragmented heart that still managed to pulsate as if all was normal in the world.

 

[Lola Rowann]

Lola listened to the girl, watching the different emotions that flitted across her features. She had never been particularly maternal but somehow felt almost a need to hug this girl and reassure her it was going to be fine, that they would find her journal without too much bother.
Instead she reached out a comforting hand and touched Andromeda on her shoulder.

"That's alright, calm now. We shall find it" she turned around and looked longingly at the tea on the window sill before closing the door after her and locking it.
"Best be on our way then before Rosaline opens the library for the day" she put her hand under the girls elbow and guided her along the corridors until at last they came to the library.It was no amount of effort to open the doors and make their way across to where the restricted section was. She turned to Andromeda.
"Where do you think you may have misplaced it then?" Professor Rowann removed her wand and lit it brightly so they could have more light than the candles that she now also lit about the library.

 

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

Andy had almost convinced herself that the professor would simply laugh at her and tell her to head back to bed, that she could always try later but was relieved beyond words that instead she was being brought directly there. Promising herself that she would always try hard in Professor Rowann's class after this, Andy allowed the professor to guide her along the corridors until eventually both were standing in the restricted section of the library. The room was illuminated with the professors help and Andy soon released herself and ran to the back of the room where she had been sitting. As soon as she neared it she had to stop, it was as if they had left their imprint. As if ghostly spectres of themselves stood there before her kissing one another. She watched the image that her memory projected and gasped, her hand instinctively went to the table. It was as if she could still feel him, taste him. Wanting nothing more in that moment but to close her eyes and lose herself in the memory Andromeda inhaled deeply.

This was not allowed, she was not going down that route again. Not now or ever. Bruin had broken her completely and she would stay broken, if she healed her heart then someone would surely come and brake it all over again. Intent now on her search, she scoured the area becoming frantic as each minute passed. It was not here.

 

[Lola Rowann]

Professor Rowann watched as Andromeda ran to the back of the library and slowly followed her, doing her own search as she passed each row of shelves. Nothing untoward she could detect, not a page nothing. As she approached Andromeda she frowned looking at how intensely she investigated the entire area but it seemed all in vain.

"I have used a few spells to find it but nothing. I am afraid it simply isn't here" she told the girl, "We best leave again"

Remorse for her filled Lola but perhaps she had merely misplaced it somewhere else. They made their way back to the outer library and out to the corridor whereby Lola relocked the library.
"You will be able to find your own way back I'm sure" she smiled at Andromeda, "It will turn up. These things usually do, perhaps you simply overlooked it. Now I have a cup of tea to remake. Goodmorning Andromeda"

She walked away from her student gathering the hem of her gown about her as she returned to her chambers.

 

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

Feeling sick inside for not having found it Andy followed her professor blindly outside, retracing their steps to the main corridor once more. She thanked the professor for her help before she headed away. Andy in turn slowly made her own way back to her dormitory intent on renewing her search for the journal even if it meant waking all her roomies up and scouring their areas as well.