Closed Familiar Closeness

[Jason Harper]

Jason had... a few friends, but he had never been much of a having people over guy. He went to other people's houses far more often than they came to his. It just felt easier to be out than to be hosting, and other people usually had nicer flats than he did. Today, though... Zoe was out at her boyfriend's for the night, and that entire situation was a can of worms Jason was trying very hard not to think about. He didn't think even Harley knew yet, but of the three of them, he and Zoe had always been the closest. Now, though... Zoe was out, and her problems were someone else's problem for the night. Leaving Jason to deal with a problem of his own.

He had known Matthew for years now, and as strange as it was to think about, he was Jason's only magical friend; the only friend he could be truly honest with about his life. Magic wasn't the reason he had invited Matthew over tonight though... after years of friendship, he wanted more. Jason had never been one to go out and take the things he wanted, preferring to linger in the shadows and observe, but it was clear that wasn't working. He had decided to finally take a bit of guidance from Harley, and just go for the things he wanted in this case. So he had set the flat up for... a casual dinner and drinks, but as he headed to open the door after Matthew knocked, Jason was hoping this dinner would be anything but casual. "Hey!" He said a bit more brightly than usual, opening the door wider to let Matthew in. "Come on in."

 

[Matthew Harper]

Matthew had gotten more and more used to the Muggle world, and he felt more and more at ease in it. There were still things that tripped him up, but for the most part he was doing alright. He just came across as a bit old fashioned to most muggles, but he had found some though that sort of charming even if others found it weird. But Matthew was never more at ease than around Jason, who at least understood Matthew's background perfectly. He didn't exactly miss magic too much, but it was still nice to let his guard down a bit, to have someone nearby who knew about the world he was from.

Jason had invited him over tonight, and Matthew was a little nervous. He wasn't entirely sure what to expect of the dinner, and wasn't even really sure what to hope for. He really liked Jason, probably more than he'd ever liked a friend before. But he wasn't entirely sure if his feelings were romantic or not. He had never liked a guy before, so it was all a bit new to him. What if he imagined things and hurt Jason by accident? He was feeling worried, but those worries flew away as Jason opened the door. Matthew smiled and headed inside. "Hey." He said, feeling more at ease already. "Thanks for having me."

 

[Jason Harper]

Part of Jason wanted to suppress the uncharacteristic cheerfulness on his face, but he couldn't quite bring himself to. Jason hadn't liked anyone in a long time, but he recognised the giddy bubbling in his chest at the sight of Matthew, his nerves at the thought of what he had to say tonight only amplifying the feeling. He closed the door behind Matthew, shaking his head with a smile. "No worries, my sister's out for the night. Glad for the company." He said warmly, leading the way through to the dining room. "Dinner's pretty much ready, hope you like spag bol." After all the years alone Jason considered himself a pretty good cook, and spaghetti bolegnaise was his go-to. Maybe not the most romantic meal, but at least it was something he felt confident in. "Want a drink with it? I've got wine and beer."

 

[Matthew Harper]

It made Matthew feel at ease, seeing how happy Jason was to see him. It also made him feel a little hopeful in a strange way. Though he was trying not to focus on those feelings right now. Jason had probably just invited him over to be friendly, he was reading too much into it all. Though the moment Jason said his sister was out, Matthew felt his nerves increase. He nodded, following Jason to the dining room. Matthew grinned. "I like it." He assured him. "And it smells great." He added, sniffing the air. He glanced at the other man as he offered him a drink, thinking for a moment before deciding. "Wine is fine, thanks." He said, though he wondered if he shouldn't have asked for water instead. With how weird he was feeling already, he worried vaguely that drinking alcohol might make him do something stupid. But it was too late to backtrack now.

 

[Jason Harper]

Jason couldn't help grinning when Matthew said the food smelled good, the nervous bubbles in his chest making him smile wider than he usually would. "Cool." he said cheerfully, quickly looking away to get a bottle of wine from the fridge. "Hope red is okay, it's left over from making the pasta sauce." He explained, reaching up to the cupboard to get two glasses. Having something to do with his hands, having somewhere else to put his eyes, all of that made this just a bit easier. He didn't think his nervous jitters would subside until he had really talked to Matthew, but there wasn't a chance he was doing that before they had even started dinner. He braced himself before he turned around, handing Matthew a glass with what he hoped was a more normal smile. "I'll, uh, I'll just be a moment getting this dished up." He said, gesturing to the food bubbling on the stove. "Make yourself comfortable."

 

[Matthew Harper]

Mathtew nodded as Jason asked him about the red wine. Somehow, the fact that he had made his pasta sauce with wine made him seem like more of an adult in Matthew's eyes than he himself was. He could only hope Jason didn't see him that way, like the nervous kid he felt like he was compared to the older man. Matthew nodded. "Uh, sure." He said, taking a seat at the table. He fidgeted with his sleeve, glancing around the apartment while he waited for Jason to return. This all felt... wrong, strange. They weren't supposed to be this awkward. But there was a certain hope in the air as well, a hopeful feeling Matthew was clinging to as he waited for Jason to return with the food. Maybe once they were sitting down and talking as usual, things would go back to normal. Though Matthew didn't entirely know if going back to normal was what he wanted.

 

[Jason Harper]

Jason was relieved to have a moment to himself while he dished the food, collecting his thoughts. He had thought through this evening dozens of times, making different plans for how he wanted to go about things, but even now none of it felt right. Being proactive wasn't like him, not at all, and no amount of trying to mentally channel his younger sisters was making this feel any easier. Jason dished the pasta up carefully, giving each dish a decorative sprinkle of parsley before he finally accepted that he couldn't put this off any longer. 'Be normal. Just be normal.' Jason reminded himself mentally as he brought the plates over to the table, setting one down in front of Matthew and taking his own seat. "There you go, dig in." He said with what he hoped was a casual smile. This was all much too hard. Maybe he should just... forget about his plans, and just eat dinner with Matthew.

 

[Matthew Harper]

Matthew tapped his fingers on the table anxiously as he waited. He almost wondered if he should bail, make up some excuse and leave. He certainly didn't want to leave, but things were feeling strange and awkward and he didn't want that either. He didn't want Jason to realize something was up. But then Jason returned with the food, and Matthew smiled at the sight of him. He couldn't lie to him, he knew. He would just have to get through this. He looked at the food and smiled. "It looks great." He said honestly. Then he took a bite, and grinned. "Tastes great too." He said, glancing at Jason to see how he was doing. Was it Matthew's imagination, or did he seem different? Matthew hoped he wasn't making him uncomfortable.

 

[Jason Harper]

Jason could tell, even though he smiled, that whatever nervous, uncomfortable energy he was giving off, Matthew had picked up on it. He returned Matthew's smile though, smiling wider when the other man complimented his cooking. "Thanks." Jason managed a couple of bites himself as his mind swirled, digging for courage he couldn't find. Why couldn't he be as quarter as bold as either of his younger sisters? What was it about Jason that fought so hard against actively changing his circumstances?! Either Harley or Zoe would have been kissing Matthew since the moment he walked in the door, Jason was sure, and here he sat, completely unable to bring himself to even speak. Looking up at his companion again, Matthew's expression was the last straw. This meal was just going to be uncomfortable the whole time unless he pulled himself together and spoke, so Jason took a deep breath, channelling every bit of courage he had in him. "I... look, I'm sorry." Jason started, heart racing so fast he was shocked Matthew couldn't hear it from across the table. "I, uh.... I need to talk to you about something, and I'm.... terrible at this stuff." He admitted, figuring total honesty was the best way to brute force his way through this. "It's not a bad thing." Jason added quickly, not wanting to scare Matthew. "I'm just.... really really crap at talking about, uh.... about personal stuff."

 

[Matthew Harper]

Matthew smiled at the thanks Jason gave him, but didn't know what else to say. He ate quietly for a moment, mind racing for something to say. But then Jason spoke up, apologizing. Matthew winced, wishing he had been a bit better at hiding how awkward he had felt. But then he said he needed to talk to him about something, and Matthew's heart sped up. He swallowed, then quickly took a sip of water. "Uh, that's okay." He said slowly. "What... do you have to talk to me about?" He asked him, trying desperately to seem calm, though he noticed his hand was shaking a bit. He quickly put his glass back down.

 

[Jason Harper]

Jason knew he had to just keep talking now, if he stopped to think about what he was doing he would chicken out, without question. He couldn't look at Matthew while he spoke though, eyes locked on the table as he blurted out the thoughts that had been following him for so long. "I, uh... I don't actually know how you feel about... uh... about this... this kind of stuff, but I've just... gotta get it off my chest." He chanced looking up at Matthew's face, trying to be brave as he spoke. "I like you. Like... uh... romantically. I... want to be... more than friends."

 

[Matthew Harper]

Matthew could sense that whatever Jason was going to say, it was going to be big. He felt both dread and... hope? He wasn't sure what he was feeling, he just knew it made him nervous. He watched Jason, struck by how nervous he seemed as well. Matthew gasped a bit as Jason finally said what was on his mind, completely stunned. "What?" He asked him, wondering if he had heard correctly. "Me? You're... serious?" He asked him, clearly shocked.

 

[Jason Harper]

Jason hadn't known what response he expected from Matthew, but somehow he hadn't been prepared for such extreme shock. He shrugged a little uncomfortably, trying to figure out where the shock was coming from. "If... You're not into guys or whatever it's fine, for real, no... No pressure." He said uncomfortably, trying hard not to regret this whole conversation. Jason would never know how Harley walked through the world so bold, even when he tried to channel her courage.

 

[Matthew Harper]

Matthew spluttered as Jason spoke, realizing with horror that his reaction had been received as a rejection. "No, I..." He shook his head. "I didn't think I was attracted to guys, but- well," he hastily scrambled for words. "Look. I was nervous and am shocked because I was about to tell you the same thing." He finally said, knowing he could be brave if Jason was. "I was going to tell you I liked you." He admitted quietly, his cheeks flushing. "So uh, surprise." He added a little awkwardly, trying to joke.

 

[Jason Harper]

Try as he did not to let the rejection hurt, Jason felt as though his stomach had caved in on itself. This whole... putting himself out there thing wasn't for him. He was considering just... sending Matthew home, cancelling this whole hang out as a write-off and hoping Matthew would let him forget it with time, when the other man spoke again, distracting Jason from his spiral. He couldn't quite bring himself to look at Matthew at first, but as Matthew went on he couldn't look away. "Oh..." Jason laughed nervously as his insides unknitted. "That... that's cool." He said slowly, low tone undercut by the broad grin on his face. "Cool." He repeated, realising that he hadn't actually... planned this far ahead. "So, um..." Jason hesitated, scrambling to think of what a normal person would do in this situation. "So... is this... our first date?"

 

[Matthew Harper]

Matthew couldn't help the small, nervous, laugh that escaped him. "Cool?" He asked him, giving him an uncertain smile. He found it kind of endearing that Jason seemed as awkward about this as he did, though he looked like he would be a lot more confident. Matthew briefly had a thought of what his dad would think of him dating a guy with a neck tattoo, and the imagined expression on his face only made him want to kiss Jason more. Matthew got up from his chair and moved over to Jason, leaning in to peck him lightly on the lips. He suddenly felt awkward, his whole gesture seeming silly. But he'd done it. "Now it is." He said.

 

[Jason Harper]

Jason could feel how crooked and goofy his smile was as Matthew mocked his choice of words, and he didn't even care. "Yeah it's cool." He said in slight amusement, watching as Matthew got up. He wasn't sure what to expect until Matthew was closer, heart jolting slightly as he realised. He leaned up into the kiss for the brief moment it lasted, grinning wider than he ever remembered smiling when Matthew pulled away, though he already missed the other man's presence. "Now it is." Jason agreed, leaning up to kiss Matthew again softly, thinking he could just revel in this moment forever.

 

[Matthew Harper]

Matthew couldn't quite believe what was happening, and he smiled brightly at Jason after the kiss. He closed his eyes as Jason kissed him again, letting this kiss last a bit longer. It was a big relief, not to be rejected after all that. Especially when to Matthew, this was all still very new. Until Jason, he had thought he was straight. But as the other man kissed him and Matthew placed his hands on his shoulders to hold him closer, he knew he definitely wasn't. Matthew finally pulled back, a goofy smile on his face. "That was better than your spaghetti."

 

[Jason Harper]

It had been a while since Jason had kissed anyone, but he was fairly sure he had never enjoyed it quite this much. Kissing Matthew felt exciting and comfortable all at once; the thrill of the new combined with the comfortable extension of their existing relationship. He was a little sad when the other man pulled away slightly, though he chuckled softly at the comment. "Rude." He said, unable to wipe the uncharacteristic grin off his face.