Double Dares and Other Shenanigans

[Hayley Elridge]

Hayley peered around the door of the kitchens, a scribbled list in her hand and a smirk on her face. It was well past time she broke some rules in this place. It was only a shame about her companion. Hayley knew full well what Harley was doing in making her do this with Rory of all people; she knew that the two of them were only pretending to get along for her sake and wanted them to have some sort of 'bonding' experience. Well, there wasn't much chance of that, but Hayley would never back down on a dare, particularly one that sounded like so much fun.

There didn't seem to be anyone about, so Hayley opened the door just wide enough for herself to slip inside. She let it swing shut behind her, assuming that Rory was either close enough to catch it or far enough behind for it to shut satisfyingly in her face. Hayley didn't know much about house elves, only that they worked in the kitchen and nasty purebloods like that bigot Lycus Jin Howard were mean to them, but it seemed a reasonable guess that none would be in here at midnight. Hayley strode into the centre of the room and looked around. Yep. It was vast and, well . . . kitcheny. Now for the fun to begin. She glanced at her list. Time to look for some food.

 

[Aurora Night]

Rory hoped that Hayley could feel the glare she was currently boring into the other girl's back. She knew Harley had technically dared them to 'scavenge these ridiculous and weirdly specific food items from the kitchen without getting caught,' but it felt more like she had said, 'I dare you to do this while not killing in each other in the process.' Such an challenging dare, but she could do it, she could definitely -

SMACK

"Ow!" Rory hissed, her glare now directed at the door Hayley had just shut on her face. Shoving it open again she stalked after the other girl angrily, rubbing at her nose. "Idiot, what did you do that for?" Amusement was the most likely answer - she'd probably just get a sarcastic apology in reply, followed by one of those smirks she had grown to hate. Rory was glad that it was dark, this way she wouldn't actually be able to make out the stupid smug expression that Hayley probably had all over her face - although to be honest, she was sure she'd still be able to feel the other girl smirking. Rory just felt like reaching out and - completing the dare, is what she would like to do. Coming to stand beside Hayley, she snapped, "Hurry up and give me the list, I want to get this over with." Determinedly she stopped rubbing at her battered nose - the ache would have to lessen to a dull throb, eventually.

 

[Hayley Elridge]

Hayley looked back abruptly at Rory's loud complaining. Wow. She had actually walked into the door. Now, that was pathetic, even for Rory. Hayley had meant the damn thing to slam just in front of Rory, but she hadn't expected her to be paying so little attention she'd collide with it. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realise you were stupid enough to let the door hit your face. My mistake. I'll make more allowance for your idiocy next time." Hayley rolled her eyes dramatically, trying to conceal the fact that the amount of noise her unwanted companion was producing made her nervous.

Hayley moved nimbly out of Rory's reach. "What makes you think I'm going to give you the list? I'm not letting you have all the fun." Unfortunately, since Hayley was the shorter of the two, keeping the list out of Rory's grasp wouldn't last long if the Gryffindor made any concentrated effort to grab for it. In the meantime, Hayley flourished the list ostentatiously. This was going to be fun, even if she had to do it with Rory. And if some of that fun came from inconveniencing Rory, that was just an added bonus. "Let's see, now. Item number one: the grossest thing you can find." Hayley tilted her head to one side for a moment, considering, then grinned. "Pumpkin." She couldn't think of anything more disgusting they were likely to find in a kitchen.

 

[Aurora Night]

Sarcastic apology - check. Rory couldn't actually feel if the other girl was smirking or not though, so she was at least thankful for small mercies. "Um, it's dark, or did you want me to turn a light on and let everyone see we're here? Didn't think so." Honestly, the sooner they got this dare over with the better. She was determined to find more of the items than Hayley, and so scowled when the other girl moved both herself and the list away from her grasp. She hadn't actually been planning to snatch it out of the other girl's hands, but the move made her feel like Hayley had all the power - a feeling that didn't please Rory in the slightest. Maybe the other girl would put the list down for a second to look at something, and then she'd be able to nab it.

Listening to Hayley read the first item off the list, Rory was just about to give the obvious answer when she was beaten to it. Except, what Hayley had said was not the obvious answer, and in fact a rather appalling one. "Haha - no," Rory deadpanned. "I hope you weren't really expecting me to laugh, but that's better than the alternative, which is that you actually think pumpkin is gross. It's not. Obviously." Pumpkin happened to be Rory's favourite food, and there was no way she was going to let Hayley use it for the 'grossest' item. The very thought offended her. "Broccoli is clearly the grossest thing we're going to find, and it's over here." She began heading in the direction of the pantry, eager to get in and out with the broccoli before Hayley could realise that the pumpkins were in practically the same place.

 

[Hayley Elridge]

"Are you telling me you think pumpkin is good? Eugh. No, punpkin is disgusting." Of course, it made sense that this idiot would like the most unappealing thing Hayley could think of. Unless Rory was only saying that to antagonise her; she wouldn't be surprised if that was the case, either. Hayley hurried after Rory, peeved once again that the other girl seemed to know where she was going. Rory had been in the kitchens before? That wasn't fair! The fact that Rory had broken rules before Hayley was an insult to her rebellious soul. Now, how could she convey the impression that she had definitely broken rules already, and these activities just happened to have nothing to do with the kitchens? The kitchens were so close to the Slytherin common rooms that they seemed the natural out-of-bounds place to go, but if Rory had really been here before there was no way Hayley could pretend that she had too.

Hayley stopped in front of the pantry beside Rory, and opened it. "Nah, we can do better than broccoli. Broccoli isn't that bad." Hayley wasn't prepared to admit to liking any vegetable, but she had nothing against broccoli. "Pumpkin is obviously the right choice, but if you're going to argue about that . . ." Hayley racked her brains for what could possibly be more disgusting than pumpkin. It was a difficult task, but there must be something. "How about olives?"

 

[Aurora Night]

"Pumpkin is like, the best vegetable there is." Rory immediately fired back. "So you're clearly wrong. Besides," she added, suddenly thinking of something that made her insides dance with glee. "Harley knows I love pumpkin, so she won't accept it as the grossest item. So there." She stuck out her tongue at Hayley, hoping the other girl wouldn't question her. She didn't actually know whether Harley would have counted it or not, but as long as it got Hayley (ugh, these names!) to accept her broccoli idea, Rory wouldn't mind. She did frown when the other girl somehow managed to open the pantry ahead of her, though. Getting her shoulder ready to push Hayley aside if she tried to go for the pumpkin, Rory was about to snort at the idea that broccoli wasn't 'that bad' when she heard Hayley's amended suggestion. "Eugh, yuck. Yes."

The words came out of her mouth before she could even think about what she was saying. It was kind of surprising, but infinitely more annoying, to find that she actually agreed with Hayley about something. "You find them," she tried to grumble in order to cover up the fact that she had agreed. Honestly, only the absolute worst kinds of people could possibly like olives - this didn't mean anything. Seeing that Hayley was now distracted, Rory used the opportunity to tug the list out of her hand and smiled smugly when she succeeded. Running her eye down the list she looked for something exciting to find next, and grinned when she did so. "Okay, and while you're there you may as well look for 'the spiciest thing you can find' - it shouldn't be too hard, you'll just have to actually try everything to decide." Rory sniggered to herself at the thought of Hayley's face turning completely red from all the spice.

 

[Hayley Elridge]

"The worst vegetable, you mean," Hayley shot back, privately amused that Rory had stuck her tongue out at her. It was so easy to wind Rory up! At least if she had to spend time with the idiot regularly this could become a pastime. She actually did grin when Rory agreed with her about the olives. Finally, some progress! The obvious dissatisfaction on Rory's face about having to admit to agreeing with Hayley made the victory even more sweet. Hayley nodded briskly and scanned the pantry shelves for any sign of olives.

She was just about to reach out and start moving things about to see the items behind (gosh, this was difficult in the dark) when Rory snatched the list from her hand. "Hey!" Hayley scowled, but quickly realised that having both hands free could actually be an advantage in her search. She pulled her wand out and cast lumos, smug at having thought to do so before Rory. In the spell's faint glow it was much easier to see, and if she held her wand partially inside the pantry it was less visible.

"Spiciest thing you can find? You're making this way too complicated. I'll just find some chilli peppers." Hayley was actually very fond of spicy food, and was tempted to seek out the chilli peppers (there was bound to be a selection, right?), pick out the spiciest and eat it just to see Rory's face when she didn't flinch. But trying everything that might get the title of spiciest thing would be a huge waste of time. As Hayley thought this, she haphazardly searched through the pantry, taking things out to see what was behind them. The jars of ingredients were all on the upper shelves, and it wasn't long before she found a jar of olives in brine. "Aha! Here we go. We should put some of these in something smaller. Someone's bound to notice if we just take the whole jar."

 

[Aurora Night]

Rory huffed when Hayley didn't rise to the challenge of trying all the spicy food, rolling her eyes for good measure. "Lame." Leaning against the pantry frame, she watched the other girl search for the olives without bothering to offer to help. Knowing Hayley, she probably wouldn't even accept it anyway, so Rory didn't feel particularly bad about just watching. With the jar finally located, Rory automatically wrinkled her nose in disgust at just the sight of the olives before looking up to try and raise her eyebrow at the other girl (which would have looked so much better if that was something she could actually do). "Who cares if they notice? After we're gone they won't know who took it, and if someone catches us now we'll have failed the dare anyway," scoffed Rory. "You think too much." Holding out her hand, she motioned for Hayley to hand the jar to her so she would be able to look for those chilli peppers she seemed to want so badly unhindered. At least if Harley thought they weren't very spicy it would have been all Hayley's idea.

 

[Hayley Elridge]

Hayley stifled a laugh at Rory's pathetic attempt to raise one eyebrow. If she could do it, Hayley would have raised her own at this silly girl to show her how it's done. As she couldn't, Hayley contented herself with the smug knowledge that she didn't make a fool of herself trying gestures she knew she couldn't pull off. Maybe later she could perfect her eyebrow-raising in front of a mirror and actually use it to taunt Rory. "Maybe it's you who think too little," Hayley retorted distractedly, passing Rory the jar of olives as she scanned the shelves for chilli peppers. She did think she was right about this, but Rory also had a point and she didn't care enough to fight the issue. Chilli was more important.

Hayley couldn't see any chilli peppers in the pantry. Actually, she had a sneaking suspicion that they were supposed to be stored in the fridge, and the best she would find was dried chilli flakes or something similar. Did Hogwarts have a fridge? Hayley knew the magical school wasn't supposed to have any electronics because the magic interfered with them or some such thing, but how else were the kitchens supposed to keep stuff cold? How did people keep stuff cold before fridges were invented? Not very well, from what little she could think of. She was just about to give up and ask Rory when a bottle on the top shelf caught her eye. It had a label emblazoned with elaborate flame designs, which read Fitzwilliam Fimbleton the Fifth's Fabled Frankly F***ing Fantastic Five-hundred Fahrenheit Fairy Flame Feast (Not for the Faint-Hearted). Now, that sounded like it might have potential. She took it down and showed the bottle to Rory, grinning.

 

[Aurora Night]

Rolling her eyes, Rory watched Hayley rummage around in the pantry. If only the other girl had agreed to taste-test everything even remotely spicy she could find, this would be so much more interesting. She was about to tell her to give up on her precious chilli peppers when suddenly Hayley pulled some bottle down and held it out to her. Prepared to only give it a bored once-over and a shrug, Rory read the name on the label. And then she read it again. "Oh my god." Hardly even realising it was happening, she hastily put the jar of olives down on the bench next to her and pulled the bottle closer, bringing Hayley's arm along with it. "You mean it was just... sitting up there?" Rory glanced up to take in the other girl's reaction to the prize she had just discovered, but even though she looked pleased she didn't look anywhere near as astounded as she should be.

"Do you even know what this is?" she asked incredulously before realising, of course not. Hayley was muggle-born, and it wasn't like Fitzwilliam Fimbleton the Fifth was everyday subject matter even among wizards. Growing up as part of the Mustard family, however, opened you up to a particular world of specialised knowledge. "This is Fitzwilliam Fimbleton the Fifth's Fabled Frankly F-" she cut herself off with an impatient gesture at the label. "Well, you probably read it." Rory still couldn't believe she was actually holding a bottle in her hands. And Hayley's hand. Anyway. "I've never even seen a bottle of this stuff. Apparently he transfigured his insides into steel just so he could taste the spiciest things imaginable." She grinned at Hayley, amazed at her spectacular find. This would definitely fill the list requirement, there couldn't be anything spicier than this sauce in the entire world.

 

[Hayley Elridge]

Hayley had expected Rory to be impressed at a bottle with such a ridiculous mouthful of a name; she hadn't expected her to be astounded. Clearly this was an even better find than she had originally thought. She was so caught up in Rory's excitement that she couldn't even be properly annoyed at her incredulity that Hayley didn't recognise the bottle. It sounded like this was famous among wizards and Hayley's eagerness grew. She hadn't known that transfiguring your insides to steel was a thing you could do, but it sounded intense. "Holy poop, that's hardcore. So this is like . . . unimaginably intense wizard spicy?" Hayley shook Rory's hand off of her arm, grinning wildly. "I'm gonna try it."

Rory's expression told Hayley that tasting this stuff undiluted wasn't a good idea, but this was a night for being reckless and Hayley wasn't about to stop now. She unscrewed the lid, put her finger to the mouth of the bottle, and tipped it enough for a drop to come out without any getting spilled. She sucked the fabled sauce off her finger. The taste exploded into her mouth, immediate and immense. Hayley had never tasted anything so spicy in her life. It felt like a forest fire was coursing through her mouth. Her tongue was burning. Her eyes watered with the pain. Hayley opened her mouth to breathe in some cooling air, and as she breathed out again a lick of flame burst from her mouth. Was that real? Did this sauce literally make me breathe fire just then? "F***," she gasped. "Wow. Milk. I need milk."

 

[Aurora Night]

Rory could only nod silently in response to Hayley's question. She felt like 'unimaginably intense wizard spicy' didn't even begin to cover it. However, the other girl's announcement that she was going to actually try the sauce had Rory's eyes widening in disbelief. You didn't actually try it, you just kept a bottle in the pantry and stared at it sometimes, perhaps even bringing it out at special dinner parties just to prove that one day, yes, you might consider possibly using it for the intended purpose of consumption. She didn't think Hayley quite understood what she was doing, and she almost moved to snatch the bottle away from the other girl in panic when she suddenly realised... why on earth would she do that? It wasn't like Hayley would die from trying it. Probably. And it would be her own fault if she did.

Rory tried not to outwardly show that she nervous as the other girl tipped the bottle up. Really, it was only because she knew that her own tolerance for normal levels of spicy food was non-existent. Zip, nil, zero, out of the question. She couldn't begin to imagine how hot this particular sauce would be - although if the flame she had just jumped back from was any indication, it was freakishly hot. Flames. Coming from Hayley's mouth. They better not have to go the Hospital Wing after this, she was sure that would mean failing the bet for sure. "Merlin," she replied, already heading towards the cooling boxes in an attempt to probably save Hayley's life. "You're an idiot; that was amazing." Because it kind of was, she admitted to herself. Grabbing a pitcher of milk, she hoped it had a refilling charm on it and thrust it into the other girl's hands. "What does it taste like?" There was no way Rory wanted to find out for herself, and she was really really (really really) hoping that Hayley wouldn't expect her to try the sauce as well. Despite this, there was a small part of her brain already preparing to be the next to die.

 

[Hayley Elridge]

Hayley gratefully took the milk jug from Rory and gulped it down in swift, deliciously cooling mouthfuls. She drained the pitcher, coughed, and when she looked back down the pitcher was full of milk again. Huh. She supposed she should have expected that; it made sense to have a refilling charm. "That was . . . incredible," she said, her voice still hoarse and her lips still burning. Rory was still looking anxiously at her, and it was only then that Hayley realised the Gryffindor had been genuinely concerned for her safety. Hayley wouldn't have expected her to care, and it was oddly endearing that she did.

"Wait, you mean you've never tried this stuff?" Hayley glanced at the other girl slyly. Rory looked nervous now, and for good reason. There was no way she would get away without trying the Fabled Flame Feast. Partly this was because she so clearly didn't want to, but mostly it was because Hayley desperately wanted to see that awesome jet of flame from a better perspective than it coming from her own mouth had afforded. "I don't think I could describe the taste -" in fact she hadn't really been able to taste anything as such within that intense head - "I really think you should try it yourself." Hayley said all this nonchalantly, but with a calculating look in her eye. Rory wasn't convinced yet, so she went for the ultimate goad: cowardice. "Or are you chicken?"

 

[Aurora Night]

Well, Rory had been right - Hayley hadn't died from trying the hottest of all sauces on the planet. She would have been relieved, except that the other girl was still very much alive and was now giving her a look that Rory could see spelling out her own doom. Proud of herself for holding in the whine that had threatened to escape her lips at Hayley's suggestion, she was about to protest that she didn't need to try the Flame Feast, because, because (because why, damn it, think!) - but suddenly reasoning and logic didn't matter anymore, and she snorted in response to the other girl's taunt. "What do you think?" Rory wasn't going to let anyone, especially Hayley, think she was a chicken. Even though she was absolutely about to be a burnt roast crispy chicken that was very pathetically wondering where its life had all gone wrong. Eyeing the bottle with what she hoped was a gaze of steel and not extreme nerves, Rory reached out and poured the smallest amount onto her finger that she could. She still felt like it was too much, but wiping a bit back onto the bottle rim would no doubt invite Hayley's scorn and laughter for years after. Forever even, maybe. There was nothing for it. Making sure she was in full view of the other girl, Rory stuck her finger in her mouth and licked the sauce off it, too fast to give herself time to back out.

For a moment, there was nothing, which confused her greatly. Had Hayley - "Ow, ow, ow, OW!" The sensation of fire in her mouth was immediate and Rory stumbled back against the counter, releasing a similar jet of flame to the one she had seen pouring from Hayley's mouth just before. A small part of her brain tried to remind her, 'hey, at least you can tell people you know what fire tastes like now,' but most of her was screaming that it didn't taste like anything, it just hurt. The spice felt like a million needles trying to stab their way through every part of her mouth and nose, and she knew from past experience that her face and throat were already turning a bright red. She could even feel the tears forming in her eyes, and the next thought had only half-formed in Rory's head before she dashed over to the nearest sink and wrenched the tap around. Water made things worse, she knew that, but she wasn't planning to drink it, she just wanted to douse her entire head in the sink. Trying to get her face under the tap was a mission, but she stood in the awkward position until her back began to hurt, letting the water run over her face. She was probably still crying, but at least the tears would be disguised now. Not that Hayley wouldn't probably already be having a laugh at how thoroughly collapsed over the sink Rory currently was. Finally deeming that the water had done all it could do, she turned off the tap, used her hands to wipe as much water off her face as was possible, and then staggered back over to the milk jug. In between frantic swallows she flapped her hand between Hayley and where she had put down the list and olive jar. "Happy... now? Clearly not a... a chicken. Hurry up and... pick something else. Merlin, ow, jeez that... hurt..." Spiciest thing they could find? Hell yes. Heh.

 

[Hayley Elridge]

"Wooo!" Hayley cheered as the jet of flame shot from Rory's mouth. "Dang! I am so glad you did that. That was awesome!" Seeing it coming from Rory's mouth rather than looking down her own nose was truly impressive. "I wanna draw it later - if that's okay," she said, before realising that Rory was paying her no attention whatsoever. What was she doing in that sink? Didn't she know water only made it worse? Hayley worked out that Rory was trying to cool herself down, and spluttered with laughter. She'd expected the other girl didn't have much experience with spicy food, but this was just too hilarious. God, Gryffindors were just too easy to taunt! Hayley hadn't actually tried appealing to their famous bravery as a manipulation tactic before, but that had been really worthwhile. She struggled to control her laughter as Rory left the sink and began gulping down milk.

"Okay, what's next on the list?" Hayley asked rhetrically as she picked up the list. "Something that looks like it belongs in the potions classroom not the kitchens. Fantastic." Hayley scanned the pantry shelves. "Ooh, how about these weird-looking mushrooms?" Hayley took down a jar from a high shelf containing some brown lumps that looked uncomfortably like brains. She wouldn't have known that they were mushrooms at all if not for the label reading 'False Morel Mushroom' in neat handwriting. "That is messed up. Surely people don't actually eat these things?"

 

[Aurora Night]

After almost drowning herself in the sink, and drinking way too much milk - even though it still didn't feel like enough - Rory decided that she should finally be able to continue on as normal. Although she was sure she wouldn't be able to feel the inside of her mouth for a week. Looking up at Hayley, she noticed that the other girl didn't seem to be feeling any residual pain from her brush with the Flame Feast, which was completely annoying in how envious it made her. Mostly, however, Rory just felt despair at the fact that she would have to pretend she was as tough as Hayley, rather than actually being as tough. "Weren't you saying something before? You know, when I was in the middle of dying?" she said, moving closer to peer into the jar. "Yuck." Examining the contents for a moment more, Rory suddenly thought of something properly disgusting. "I had mushroom sauce at dinner a couple of nights ago," she said, making a face at the jar. "It better not have been made out of these things." The house elves could be putting all sorts of weird ingredients in their meals and they wouldn't even know. She straightened up again, trying not to think about it. "If there's something even weirder in here, I don't want to know about it. We're definitely using those," she replied, unashamedly trying to wriggle the list back from Hayley's grasp. "You know, I swear I saw something about a pretty apple on here before." She really hoped she'd misread that one.

 

[Hayley Elridge]

"I said, I want to draw your silly face belching flames, and would you be okay with that?" Hayley hated having to respect Rory's opinion on anything she did, but it would definitely be unfair to draw her without asking permission. Such activities were reserved only for those who were nefarious themselves, like her charicature of Odette Harper which was, so Rory and Harley had told her, even now gracing the wall of the Gryffindor common room. "Eugh," Hayley said automatically, then paused to think about it. "Aren't weird mushrooms like that usually considered a delicacy, though? I don't think they'd just put something like this is normal mushroom sauce. At least, I hope not."

Hayley snatched the list away again as Rory tried to grab it, whirling around in a wide circle. She wouldn't be able to keep this up for long, once Rory remembered that she was taller than Hayley. Hayley flourished the list ostentatiously and skimmed through it, facing away from Rory. "Yep, here it is. A really pretty apple. Pfff, that's a really easy one, what are you complaining about?" Hayley had seen a fruit bowl on a side table, and she crossed over to it and started looking at the apples. She picked out a shiny one mottled in shades of red, with a few dainty yellow streaks on one side. "This one's quite nice," she said distractedly, still rummaging for a more attractive apple.

 

[Aurora Night]

Rory initially scrunched up her face at Hayley's request, surprised that the other girl would even want to attempt drawing her. But it was really the flames Hayley wanted to draw, she knew, and Rory could admit that the idea of seeing that in a drawing sounded pretty cool. She'd appreciate it far more than living through it, at any rate. "Yeah, you can do that," she nodded. "You could make it look like I'm pretending to be a dragon, and then we can put a copy of it up next to the one of Odette," she added as an afterthought. She didn't know if Hayley would agree, but just the thought of it amused Rory. Considering the other girl's question, Rory grimaced again. "Yeah, actually. Gross though, how can they stand it? I'm going to pretend I never saw these, and that they definitely weren't in anything I've eaten."

She frowned as Hayley spun away from her, trust her to want to have complete control over the list the entire time. Already forming a plan to grab it from Hayley while she was distracted, she stared in disgruntled confusion at the back of the other girl's head. "What the hell is a pretty apple supposed to look like? They're apples." She followed Hayley over to the fruit bowl, picking up the one she had set to the side and examined it, turning it back and forth. "I don't get it. How is this any different to the rest of them?" she asked. Hayley looked like she was very intent on this 'pretty apple' business, which was surprising. Rory hadn't figured the other girl, or even Harley for that matter, would be much concerned with the word 'pretty'. "Look, just grab one and we can move on," she said, before biting into the apple Hayley had set aside. This scavenger hunt stuff was making her hungry.

 

[Hayley Elridge]

"Sweet," Hayley said vaguely. She didn't initially like the idea of having Rory in the drawing pretending to be a dragon, feeling that the look of shock on her face was an intrinsic part of the the appeal of drawing it, but actually that could be pretty cool, too. Maybe she could draw both versions, and see which came out better. She was flattered at the idea of Rory wanting to put it up, though. The drawing of Odette was meant as a joke, an insult to a horrible person. This was different. Hayley wouldn't say any of this to Rory, though, even if she could summon the words to do so, so she concentrated on the apples.

"Yeah, it's an apple, so what? It's a pretty apple." Hayley didn't understand how Rory was being so dense about this. Of course apples could be pretty. She picked up another apple, a green one that had nothing particular of interest about it. "See, this one is not pretty. Can't you see the difference?" Hayley gaped as Rory bit the apple she had chosen. This was so unfair. "Hey! You bit it! Now I have to find another pretty apple." Hayley turned back to the fruit bowl and rummaged through it, picking out one apple, then another, turning them this way and that in the dim light from her wand. This was ridiculous. Could Rory really not see the difference at all? She really didn't care; the fact that she'd bitten the apple Hayley had selected proved that. Although she might just be doing that to spite her. "God, Rory, where's your sense of apple aesthetics? No wonder you're not an artist." To some extent this was a joke, but it was definitely true that an appreciation of natural beauty was essential to art, and if this was Rory's attitude she seemed to be missing that entirely. Hayley shook her head sadly, with mock seriousness. "All because you don't get apple aesthetics. It's the first step."

 

[Aurora Night]

Rory only spared the new apple Hayley was holding up to her a cursory glance. "Well, duh, the difference is that one's green. Even I can see that," she huffed. She wasn't stupid. But she did take great pleasure in hearing the other girl's outburst at her choice of snack, and Rory grinned as she bit into the apple with another loud crunch. "What, it's not pretty anymore now? That's a bit shallow," she said through a mouthful of fruit. Her teasing was light-hearted, though, because it was more funny than annoying to see how much Hayley cared about the issue. As the other girl pressed on with her disapproval of Rory's taste in aesthetics, she couldn't help herself from grinning in response. "Is that why you're so good at drawing, then? Studied apples since you were baby." Moving closer to the fruit bowl, Rory rummaged around with her free hand and pulled out yet another apple at random. "Tell me, oh great teacher, what does this choice of apple say about my soul?" She waved it in front of Hayley's nose for good measure. If the other girl was going to take her time with this particular item, Rory could at least try to entertain herself.

 

[Hayley Elridge]

"Of course it's a bit shallow, it's an apple," Hayley said, smiling. "They're not known for their intelligence." She snatched the apple Rory was waving about and held it up grandly, examining it with exaggerated attention. "As the great pretty apple whisperer, I do declare that this apple reveals to me that in the depths of your soul . . . you're silly." Hayley tossed the apple back to Rory and resumed her fossicking through the fruit bowl. She picked out another pretty apple, with streaks of pale green and yellow against bright red, and placed it on the table decisively. "Don't eat that one, unless you want to spend even more time looking for apples."

Hayley looked back to the list. She was enjoying herself more than she cared to admit, and was eager to see what fresh adventure the next item would bring them. That last bit of sarcasm from Rory had been surprisingly good, almost like something Hayley would say. Maybe her skill in snarkiness was rubbing off on the other girl. "Here's an easy one: a fruit you would put on pizza. Pineapple, obviously." Hayley hadn't actually been looking for one with such a simple solution, but there was no harm in getting through a few of them a little faster.

 

[Aurora Night]

Rory stuck her tongue out at Hayley's pronouncement that she was silly, but secretly she was pleased that the other girl had played along. Whatever else she was, Hayley was definitely not a boring stick-in-the-mud. Catching the tossed apple awkwardly against her chest with one hand, Rory returned it to the fruit bowl and eyed the one Hayley had finally decided on. She couldn't see how it looked different to any of the other apples she'd seen thus far, but knew she would heed the other girl's advice. Messing with Hayley wasn't worth the pain of waiting for her to decide on yet another apple. She couldn't resist giving one last parting shot on the subject though - "I don't know, maybe I've gotten a taste for pretty apples now," she grinned. "Should I check with you at all times now to know which ones I'm allowed to eat?"

Continuing to finish the first apple, Rory made a face at Hayley's suggestion for the next item on the list. "Ew, no. No one should put pineapple on a pizza ever. That's disgusting." Was Hayley one of those people that were actually okay with eating such an atrocity? Well, it wasn't like Rory would be surprised by that, but... ugh. She'd thought Hayley would be better than that, she was surprised to note. "Look, we can just pick something else. Anything else." Putting the apple core down on the counter, Rory dived back into the fruit bowl. Rummaging through its contents, clearly fruit was something that just didn't belong on pizzas at all - but she'd be damned if she would willingly accept that pineapple could possibly have a place on an otherwise heavenly food source. Desperately, Rory held a banana aloft. "See, this... could theoretically go on a pizza, yes."

 

[Hayley Elridge]

"Yes. You should absolutely check with me the prettiness of your apples at all times." Hayley grinned, though she glanced back at the apple on the table to ensure Rory didn't make good on her threat out of spite. She thought the threat of more time spent on apples would be effective, but you never knew. "Any apple you eat must carefully be looked over for the least hint of prettiness before it touches your ugly mug." Warming to her theme, she stuck her nose in the air in a snooty pose (modelled, naturally, off Odette). "You will report to me for apple inspection at apple o'clock, on the dot, precisely."

"Ugh. I should have known you were one of those people." The buzzkills. The ones that took fun out of life and pineapple off of pizza. Hayley had very strong opinions on the pineapple on pizza debate, not that she understood why it was a debate. Pineapple was good. Pizza was good. Pineapple on pizza was good. She couldn't see why anyone would say otherwise, unless it was just to be a spoilsport. Actually, she wouldn't have expected that of Rory, but it didn't exactly come as a surprise, since they seemed to be on opposite sides of any debate she could think of. Except the ones that mattered, like Odette Harper and the injustice of pureblood prejudice. Hayley snorted at the raised banana. "Really, Rory? Really? If you're going to be that way, tomatoes are technically a fruit. Or . . . olives."

 

[Aurora Night]

Rory tried not to, but she couldn't help the laugh that escaped her as the other girl extended the joke further. And of course, once the first one had escaped she didn't bother holding back the rest either. Hayley was actually funny, which was... unexpected. Maybe there was some sense in Harley insisting that they try to be friends after all. Taking no offence at the description of her face, Rory instead grinned and saluted the other girl with a serious look on her face. "Yes, ma'am." Then she returned to grinning. "I'm gonna remember you said that, just so you know."

Things had been going too well though, it seemed, because now they were back to disagreeing again. At least the subject was a rather normal thing for people to argue about, even though Rory had no idea why anyone would bother - surely the pineapple advocates were only doing it for the sake of arguing; they couldn't actually believe what they were saying. "One of those people that can't be convinced to commit a crime on pizza, you mean?" she asked Hayley rhetorically. She was unsurprised that the other girl hadn't warmed to the idea of the banana though, and Rory resignedly placed in back in the bowl. "Well, I'm not a fan of the olives either, but at least they're easy to pick off - and don't contaminate the whole thing," she scowled, placing her hands on her hips. "Fine, so we'll use the olives for that one too. And it's my turn to pick something new," she announced, lunging for the list. Rory soon realised that the fact that she was taller than Hayley gave her an advantage in leaning over the other girl, and so quickly had the list in her hands, holding it over her head in an attempt to keep it from being stolen right back. Running her eye down the list, Rory was pleased to spot something interesting that they hadn't done yet straight away, and grinned in response. "The wackiest sandwich we can each concoct," she read aloud, already devising an idea of what she might potentially use.

 

[Hayley Elridge]

Hayley tried not to laugh, but the absolute intense seriousness on Rory's face as she saluted, combined with Rory's own laughter, tipped her over the edge, and soon both girls were giggling. "You see," she said once the laughter had died down, "I've never understood the view that pineapple on pizza is a crime. Maybe for party poopers, but, like, there are plenty of pizza ingredients that aren't traditional Italian stuff, and no one gives a damn, but you pick on pineapple. Which is good. Also, I like how you completely ignored tomato, an essential ingredient of all pizza."

Hayley tried to dodge away, but her inferior height was a fatal disadvantage and Rory snatched the list. She didn't even try to reach for it as the taller girl held it above her head; that would be beneath Hayley's dignity. Hayley scowled. True, it was probably Rory's turn to pick something, but frustrating the Gryffindor was too much fun. She brightened as Rory read out her selection from the list, though. "Ooooh," Hayley said excitedly, and then a wonderful, terrible, hilarious idea struck her. "Well, the wackiest thing I can think of to put in a sandwich is definitely . . ." Hayley walked past Rory to the table and picked up the bottle of Fitzwilliam Fimbleton the Fifth's Fabled Frankly F***ing Fantastic Five-hundred Fahrenheit Fairy Flame Feast. "This!" the idea of eating a sandwich laced with this was a little horrifying, but Hayley's mind immediately leapt to how fun it would be to prank Harley with.