Could it be you?

M

Malachi Wilson

Well-Known Member
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48
OOC First Name
Jenny
Wand
Ebony Wand 12 1/2" Essence of Griffin Feather
He couldn't help but be nervous. He didn't do this often, he wasn't even sure if he should bedoing this. What if she didn't like him back? What if she didn't come and he was left here looking like a fool? He had called Dakota the other night and asked her to meet him at this restaurant. He just couldn't resist, he had to see her again. So here he waited, pacing outside of the high end restaurant and praying that she would show up. He hated how nervous he felt, he was an idiot for falling so easily. In the short time that he had been there, he had been telling himself that repeatedly. He had no idea what he would do if she stood him up; probably just go to the nearest bar and drown his sorrows in vodka and rum. With his hands in his pocket, he pushed any doubt to the back of hs mind, it was to early to start thinking about that now. So he just continued pacing and searching the crowd for any sign of Dakota.
 
A few weeks passed and the deed was already set in place. What she couldn't ignore was happening on it's own and as much as she believe it was her right over what was happening to her body, she couldn't end the life of an innocent just because it was born out of imperfect relationship. No it wasn't his nor will she lie to him declare fatherhood over him. Yet he had to known why she been ignoring him for weeks now and why he never took the hint that of had just been a one night of romance, and that was all.

Dakota didn't want to hurt him. But if it took to show off what she had hidden for a while to the world to throw him off love than so be it. The bright blonde hid behind shades and carried a bag full of small items plus her wand. She wore laced heels and manage to balance well in them. What she miss most now that she was going into her second trimester wasn't being able to drink anymore, she had cause enough damage and by luck the healers manage to help the fetus out of anything bad that it's holder consume, but now she couldn't even take a sip of brandy at all if she wanted too.

"Hey" Dakota spoke as she at last arrived at the restaurant he wanted to meet her at. "Is there a reason why you wanted to see me Malachi, I thought the first time you would get the picture of it being a one time thing?"
 
Kai's face lit up when he saw Dakota making her way through the crowd. He walked out to meet her and couldn't resist welcoming her with a gentle embroce. He was so happy that she had come, and words couldn't describe how he felt now that she was with him. "Hey," he replied with a smile, to excited to realize that something was bothering Dakota. His face fell though with the next words out of her mouth. He put his hand behind his neck and started to rub it, as was a nervous habit of his. He gave her a nervous smile and said, "Sorry, I just... I wanted to see you again." He was aware of how pathetic he sounded as he tried to hide the blush that was creaping into his cheeks. He had gotten the feeling it was a one time stand, hehad a lot of one night stands though. And for once he had found somebody who he had wanted to have a second night stand with... He hadn't even been able to take other girls serious because his mind was still on Dakota. Maybe she hadn't felt the same though, but he couldn't change the way he felt.
 
Dakota felt his arms wrap around her upper half, it felt okay to be in his arms that way. She had to admit it, but couldn't see herself accepting him in that way. As much as she imagine him and everything else around them vanished, all she could do was look down and reply in a small voice, parting her lips to just about say anything that would come out of her tainted mouth. "That's great, you see me, now is there anything else that you want?" she felt terrible as sound as she realize what had spewed out of her mouth. Anything but that, she scowled the inside of her mind. How can you be so rude to him? She reclaim her eyes back at him, with a bit of pity circling around her pupils, she wanted so bad to make up for her nasty behavior.
 
That one stung a little. He fought back a wince, or a frown, or anything that would show how he felt at that moment. He couldn't let her know how much everything she said affected him. So he kept a smile plastered on his face hoping she couldn't tell that it was forced. "Well you came all the way out here; why don't you let me buy you dinner or something." He signalled towards the restaurant, unsure of how he wanted her to respond. On one hand, he would give almost anything to spend more time with her, but on the other hand he would never want to force himself on her because that would only make her hate him more.

That thought made his faked smile falter. Could she really dislike him? It was entirely possible that he was being too clingy or something. God, he was such an idiot. Why had he allowed himself to be fooled into thinking that she could possibly like him. He looked away from Dakota, avoiding eye contact and hoping that she wouldn't see how bothered he was. Atleast she had shown up, he thought, she didn't leave you waiting here like a complete idiot...
 
Dakota fought back her ugly side. For one moment, she didn't like feeling like a wreck up wh0re with problems. She was a witch, a pure blood, a Howard after all, she was suppose to be perfect and gentle, like old times. Like how she use to love and care about everything, everything meaning her siblings. Like the old Dakota, heartless and full of warmth from the moment you look at her eyes to the moment she said hello, can't help but fall for her at whim.

"You know that sounds great, I would like to join you for dinner" she said an alien voice. She was shock, shock that she smile taking his hand and kissing them gently with her pale color lipstick. "I'm sorry just getting caught up in the moment.." she lean in and kissed him right on his warm melting lips. This feeling was overwhelming, felt good..she wonder how does she stop it?
 
He was shocked; there was no other way to describe it. He had already prepared himself to have been laughed at and then ditched. Quite the opposite of what was actually happening. This was definitely a welcome surprise though. As he returned the kiss, he tried to ignore the voice telling him that she didn't mean it. She just seemed so different; like something was wrong. He hated feeling as though he was pressuring Dakota into doing something she didn't want to do. With this thought, he gently pushed her away. His mind was reeling, trying to figure out if she liked him or hated him.

As he pulled away he studied Dakota's face, trying to figure her out. "Is something bothering you?" He asked, finally clueing into the fact that Dakota seemed to be troubled. He truly cared for her, and he wanted her to be happy.
 
Dakota pouted. She didn't expect rejection from Malachi. After all he did said he missed her, right? She was confused and she hated the feeling of being confused plus rejection. It didn't suit well for her, she practically cussed without meaning too. "Malachi..what the hell? I don't get you? I'm here and you say you miss me..than I try to show you affection and all you could do is effing reject me, what the hell?" she said, more angry than before. She step up to him and raise her hand to touch his face. "What am I doing wrong? she pleaded this time, controlling her anger controlling her volume.

She didn't get it, with guys. Never she really never got them. Except her brothers they were the only one she could trust and know when they say something they mean it. But when someone makes you feel indifferent, it makes Dakota anxious. Always does, and it always did. She can lie all she want and be good at suppressing her feelings, still when someone like Malachi waltz into her life she can't help but try to keep her walls up. Till they go down...
 
He was caught off gaurd by Dakota's outburst. He hadn't meant to push her away; well he had, but not in a way that would hurt her. He would never purposefully hurt her or make her angry like this. He was flustered now and he didn't know what he could do to calm her down, to reassure her that he did want her, to let her know exactly how he felt about her.

So he did the only thing that he could do; the only thing that he really wanted to do. He rested his other hand between her shoulder and neck and then leaned in, gently kissing her. He kept it short, and when he pulled away he whispered so only she would hear him. "Nothing you do is ever wrong to me. I'm sorry, I just..." He had to pause for the words. He had no idea how to put this so that she would understand. He cared about her so much, but he didn't want to pressure her into feeling the same way about him. He didn't want to make her feel as though she had to kiss him just to make him happy. He just wanted her to be happy, and he didn't want her to try to please anybody but herself. "I want you to know that you don't have to do anything for me. As long as your happy, I'll be happy." He gave her a shy smile and prayed that she'd understand. He would never push her away and he would never force her to feel something that she didn't. He just hoped that she could see what he meant...
 
Dakota froze when he kiss her, her lips tremble with his, that was the only part moving from her actually than he stop. She heard him whisper, and say what he needed to say. Those words sunk in quickly as they were release from his lips, though they didn't feel so genuine, more stale really coming from him. "That's bullocks and you know it" she push away, shaking her head. "I just wanted to be friendly you know and show you a side of me that use to be there".. she replied with shaking hands. "Not everyone sees it anymore..." she unravel bit by bit. "Can't I just show someone that I'm still a decent person for once? And not have to feel like I'm pretending?" she said in a low voice. "Why does it have to be that way...?"
 
She didn't understand. How could she have? He was horrible at explaining his feelings and now he was going to pay for it. As she pushed away for him he felt his heart beat quicken. He hated the feeling of being pushed away, especially by her. He didn't know why Dakota was so special to him, but she was. And as she yelled at him, he felt as if his heart was tearing. He couldn't stand her being angry at him. He wanted to make her stop; to make her happy. He wanted to take back everything he had said, reword it, and hold her close.

He was so flustered. He didn't know what to say or what to do. He looked down, trying to figure out what he could say now. He wanted to reach for her hand, tell her how much he cared for her, kiss her... But he knew that thats not what she wanted right now. Looking at his shoes he opened his mouth, "I don't want you to pretend." It was barely a whisper, so quiet he wasn't even sure if she had heard him. As he looked up to meet her eyes he continued softly, "I don't want you to pretend around me. Cause you're better than just decent, and I think I might..." He stopped there, catching himself before he said to much. He couldn't let her know how crazy he was about her; atleast not yet. "I really care about you." He finished lamely instead. It was true, but it didn't even come close to describing how he felt about her.
 
Dakota fell against the wall, her back felt the brick foundation press up against her. She listen to him and as he voice fell she felt terrible for being this way. She felt terrible for just being herself, but he didn't seem to quite get it. No one ever does, she didn't get herself sometimes. It just means...sometimes she didn't know who she really was on the inside and out. Sad to think of it that way, but it's true. Sometimes she even wish she hadn't been born, brought into this confusing world. Where wizards live another life behind muggels and it made seem like the life they were living was wrong. Like living as a sin or something, why should we be secrets and lies? She never really understood that.

"Come on, let's get out of here" she extended her hand out to him and grab his hand. She was feeling for a walk and maybe she could tell him more about how she felt about him. And what she was going through, "I-I-I care about you too" she added with a small smile. Dakota really did, she care about him as a friend and a lover. Out of the ones she been with, he seems to linger her mind more often. Perhaps a lot these days than any, she wouldn't admit to herself till now.
 
With his hand in hers, everything felt as though it would be alright. He could get through anything as long as Dakota was right beside him. His pounding heart relaxed when she told him that she cared for him as well. He smiled at her and then quickly bent down and brushed his lips against hers. He just couldn't resist, he had never been good at self-control. He made it quick and then pulled away and began to walk away from the restraunt, taking Dakota with him. If she wanted to walk, that's what they would do.

"So..." he started, attempting to make idle conversation. "How have you been?" Did that sound as pathetic as he thought it did? Probably, but it didn't really matter. He was walking, hand in hand, with one of the most beautiful girls he had ever met.
 
Dakota smile when he lightly kiss her, it made her stomach flip, which cause her small bump to move as he kiss her. Oh right, I have to tell him. I suppose I should, she took a deep breath, before she look right at him. Holding his hand, made her feel weak, how could she tell him that? She felt a little shame, shame that he might dislike her after that, but she wanted to tell him. There's no else to tell, but him. "You know your a really great friend, right? And I care about you to bits, but there's something I have to tell you..." she said, her breath decreasing by the moment, till she had an ounce of courage in herself, to tell him what happen or just live another effing lie in her life. "There was a reason why I couldn't see you for a while, and it's because I'm pregnant and I'm pretty sure it's not yours Malachi...I'm sorry" she said softly. She felt bad, because he develop feelings for her and that is why she was straying away from him. She had plan to be forgotten, but she guess there's nothing to do but tell him the truth.
 
He was on top of the world, walking down the street with one of the prettiest girls he had ever seen. Nothing could ruin this feeling. Atleast, thats what he had thought. The next words out of Dakota's mouth felt like a weight in the pit of his stomach. She had been avoiding him? The words that followed nulled that shock though, and quickly turned it into somehing much worse. He felt as though the world was slipping out from under him. How could his dream girl be pregnant? Of course it wasn't his, he would never have children, he couldn't. He didn't want to face his feelings about this now, so he started to think about how Dakota must feel. It was so much easier to face somebody else's feeling's then his own...

He took her hand and stopped walking. She didn't have to face this alone, and he wanted her to know that. So when her turned to face her, he pushed all of his emotions away. He hid all of his anger, dissappointment, and sadness and replaced it with a reassuring look. "I like kids; and I like you." He was being sincere. He continued in a soft voice, "Are you keeping it?" Maybe that was too personal? Should he have asked that? He began to back track, unsure of what he should say. "Uh... I mean, like.... It's none of my business. It's not my kid..." He was rambling now. "I mean, like... It's not mine cause I can't have kids. I would love if I could be a part of raising it..." He met her eyes, silently begging her to say something and to put an end to this rambling.
 
Dakota look down, much like a little girl she wasn't sure of the world around her. "I'm not sure" she says much to sad to be happy. And what he said back, sort of took her by surprise and a bit upset too. "I ah, was trying, I mean.." she took back her hand away from him. "I was trying to figure out a way so that it was your, You know by sleeping with you and basically I couldn't lie to you" she went on losing her words and her way of direction. She wasn't sure if she should look up to face him with tears in her eyes or to someone else walking by them clueless to their quiet dilemma. It always looks easy when your looking on the inside, the inside in a situation was just bad. I'm planning to go away for a while, maybe some place where no one can find me" she shrugs. "Why didn't you tell me you couldn't have kids? Just seems awful that I've told you so much....and now I don't know, I just thought you were someone I could read easily"
 
He was lost at "I don't know." He could never understand how somebody could just give up a child. To him, a child was the most important thing in the world. It was the most important thing that you could give back to the world! It was a piece of you, made by you, to always carry forward your memory and teachings. He simply couldn't fathom giving that up. But then again, it was possible that he just appreciated it more than most people because it was the one thing that he could never achieve.

He barely registered her letting go of his hand, under normal circumstances that would've cut like a knife. His mind was elsewhere though, and he didn't come back to the present until she mentioned leaving. He didn't want to be without dakota again, it didn't matter how far she went, kai wanted to be right there with her. He felt he owed her an explanation as to why he had kept his infertility a secret though. "Sorry, it's just not exactly something I go around announcing... It's a sore subject for me, and I would never want to trouble you with my issues." And boy did he have a lot of issues; issue number one being his stupid, demented, death eater twin brother. Anyways, his issues were his alone and he would gladly bear the brunt of them by his lonesome. He would never drag anybody he cared about into his problems.

"But please, let me help you," he said, begging. He wanted to be there for Dakota, and he wanted to be there for the baby.
 
"Well if there's something you need to say than just say it, I've been learning not to keep my troubles in" she said clearly as if she were in the right mind to speak. "Hasn't gotten me much, but at least I know what's going on" she went on rambling to the wind, completely absent minded to the surroundings around her. "But I do know there's not much you can do for me Malachi, maybe just be a friend, that's all I need right now, but if I decide to get rid of the child, there's very little you can do right?" she was completely out of it, however she was speaking the truth. It's not his child, he had very little to say on this.

OOCOut of Character:
Sorry it's a little rubbish !
 
His heart was breaking. She was right, there was nothing that he could do if Dakota decided that she didn't want the baby. And he didnt want to be "just friends." He wanted to be by Dakota every step of the way. He had to push his thoughts away again though. They were to painful to dwell on right now and he refused to trouble Dakota with his issues, even if that bothered her. There were many things that he kept to himself, and she would just need to accept that.

"Alright." That was all that he could say. He was afraid that if he said anything else, his carefully made mask of assurance would crumble away. He was afraid that he would let his true thoughts slip or show his weakness. He was afraid that he would push Dakota away.

OOCOut of Character:
Haha, no worries. It's a lot better than mine ;)
 
"So this is it then?" she said looking over at him, waiting for him to say anything more than just alright. She figure a long speech would happen, much like what father's do for their daughters. Yet it wasn't much like that, barely. She took a step the man and smile. "Your a very caring person you know that? I am lucky to have cross path with someone as noble as you"she admitted, sheepish as it sounds, every bit of it was true. She one crazy b!tch at times, but it takes the crazy ones to know someone who is true or close to perfect. To bad you can't love a lunatic."I'll probably see you around or something" she shrug, she faced any random direction and parted ways with the closes person she knew to love.
 
Noble.... How ironic was that. He was too chicken poop to even admit that he wanted her to have the baby and he wanted to be with her. He couldn't even speak up when she asked him if there was anything else he wanted to say. He was trully pathetic.

When she turned away, he thought about just watching her leave, but he knew that he would regret it if he did. So without further consideration, he reached out and gently grabbed her arm. He couldn't bring himself to meet her eyes now so he just looked at the ground. He knew that he should say something now, but he had no idea what to say. Should he tell her not to leave him? Tell her to have the child? Tell her that he wasn't anywhere close to noble but he was willing to try for her? No; he couldn't bring himself to say any of those things.

Instead he simply said, "I'm sorry, but promise me you'll take care of yourself..." He wasn't sue why he had apologized or even why he had said what he had, but he just hoped that Dakota would understand. He didn't want her to walk out of his life like this. When he finally looked up and met her gaze, he took in every detail of this girl that he had madly fallen for; just in case she didn't understand how he felt and left him for good. He dropped his hand from her arm, resisting the urge to pull Dakota into his arms and never letting her go. What happened now was completely up to her.
 
"Well I won't make any promise, but I guess I can try" she simply responded after he tug at her arm. It brought greater discomfort to know that someone actually cared about her best sides her brother. All this whole feeling of emotion was bringing her off balance. She look at him as if she were searching for something else to say, to make this feeling go away. If it took over, she will be driven mad till she was alone and the feeling of being alone would make her feel better again. Dakota once more shrug her small shoulders, "Bye Malachi" she lean out to him and kiss the far side of the corner of his lips. she close her eyes, taking in the last memory she thought she would have with him. There was no telling if she see him again or not.

This time she didn't hesitate to stop. No, she kept going, disappearing into the crowds of muggels all around them. Not looking back at the strange man anymore, she went on her merry way. Something told her a quick visit to her family home was due, before she left London all together to find another place to take residents in.
 
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