Closed Come Clean

Simon Thorne

oldest 💥 tired and overworked 💥 '55 grad
 
Messages
420
OOC First Name
Kadi
Blood Status
Mixed Blood
Relationship Status
Single
Sexual Orientation
Bisexual
Wand
Straight 14 1/2 Inch Rigid Silver Lime Wand with Veela Hair Core
Age
11/2036 (25)
Simon needed to be alone. He had come into this year feeling good or at least better than he had in a while. Part of it was because he was free from his father, but he also felt good about where he stood. But breaking up with Juniper had knocked him down a few pegs and he was starting to let everything else pile on top of him. His father didn't seem to be easing up on the ultimatum he set years ago and to no ones surprise Simon hadn't meet those expectations. Now he had no prospects, which he never had, and no girlfriend, which would have been at least one good thing going for him. But with the constant talk of the future amongst his classmates he felt suffocated as he tried to dodge their questions or come up with something that wasn't a lie but obviously wasn't the truth. He needed a break from it all and he found himself by the lake. The weather was warming but he wasn't in the mood to swim, instead he took off his shoes and rolled up his pants before dipped his feet in. The feel of the cool water helped him calm down even if the dark cloud hanging over him was still there.
 
Knox wasn’t much of a thinker, usually. His actions were often spontaneous, and the concept of stopping to wait a moment and think about possible consequences usually never crossed his mind. If at all, he thought about how fun it was to jump into situations without a plan or hesitation to what could happen. Because life was all about winging it and living in the moment. Although, since turning seventeen and moving in with Archie over the holidays, and of course returning to Hogwarts for his final year, Knox had realized it was his responsibility to actually think about his life, to consider the steps that had brought him to where he was, and consider the path that would lead him into the future. It was overwhelming sometimes to consider the fact he had no idea of what he wanted to do with his life when he graduated, other than continue working at Honeydukes. Especially when he compared himself to some of his classmates, who always seemed to have their entire lives put together and planned out perfectly. But Knox was never surprised when he compared himself to the other people in his year and fell short in comparison. He had always felt a step away and a step behind everyone else, in every way, but of course in his ability to think about his decisions. He hoped one day he could change that, or at least one day he would realize he was exactly where he was supposed to be.

In wanting to change how behind he felt, Knox had intended to go to the lake that afternoon with the sole purpose of thinking about everything and anything in mind. He hoped that sooner or later, and by the time he returned to his dorm to sleep for the night, he would have a better idea of where he wanted to go with his life, and how far he needed to go when he left Hogwarts. As Knox walked along the castle grounds, he picked up various stones he noticed that were flat and circular, placing them in the front pocket of his hoodie. When he reached the lakefront he hoped he had enough stones to throw to keep his hands occupied while he focused on his thoughts. Knox began to walk to the water’s edge, almost pulling one of the stones from his pocket, however he couldn't help but pause when he noticed someone in his peripheral. Knox glanced over and exhaled when he noticed it was Simon. He closed his eyes for a moment, considering turning back and throwing stones literally anywhere else.

It wasn’t that Knox was avoiding Simon, at least not in the same way he used to avoid him. After their meeting over the holidays Knox felt as if they had buried the metaphorical hatchet, and were supposed to talk somewhat normally as acquaintances. Although Knox had to admit, he still didn’t think of Simon as an acquaintance. It was impossible not to feel awkward talking to Simon, as if their history and Knox’s lingering feelings didn’t exist and continually creep into the back of his mind. It would be smart to turn back, Knox thought. But even in his quest to think about his decisions that day and attempt to act like he was smart for once in his life, the reality was that Knox had never been smart. He instead sighed once more before walking over to the water’s edge, stopping just short of the water line Simon was on the other side of. “Hey.” Knox greeted, “What um, brings you to the water?” He asked, nodding to where Simon was standing. He resisted the urge to cringe at how terrible he was at making conversation.​
 
Simon had closed his eyes to focus on the sounds around him and the cool lapping of the water around his ankles. He heard someone approaching long before they reached him and he tried to hide his frustration. Why was it so hard for him to have just one thing go right for once? But when the person spoke, he froze. Simon recognized Knox’s voice immediately but stubbornly kept his eyes closed. Eventually he caved and turn around to look at the other boy with an irritated glance. “I’m communing with nature, obviously.” he said dryly and returned his gaze to the water. He took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly. He knew he shouldn't take out his frustration on Knox. They were friends now, or at least that's what they were supposed to be. But starting over was a lot harder than it sounded, especially when he felt so tangled up around him. With a sigh Simon looked back again and noticed the thoughtful look on Knox's face. "What about you?" he asked, sounding much kinder now. It was a start.
 

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