Chocolate is food for the soul.

[Sara Moon]

Sara was upset, her sister Kate hadn't been eating and Sara was worried about her, she knew that it was because of what had happened with Stefan-he had broken Kate's heart, but she knew that it was not like her sister to react like this. Sara had come to the kitchen and gotten some chocolate from the house-elves. She smiled to herself, thinking about how she could help Kate, Sara was terrified, Kate had always been the strong one. Sara had always been the one who leaned on her sister, the one who fell apart. When they were younger, Sara had been bullied, and though she couldn't stop it, Kate had always been there, to cheer her up when she was upset, to make her feel good again. Sara didn't know how to help Kate and it killed her, that the one time her sister needed her-she didn't know what to do. She sat down on the steps to the kitchen and began eating her chocolate, staring at a painting on the wall. Her mind was going over all that had happened through the past few months. Kate and Stefan-well something had happened, then he'd ignored them and now Kate wasn't eating. Sara didn't feel like she was doing anything helpful, like she was completely useless. That was what burned Sara, that Kate couldn't talk to her about it-that her sister, her amazing sister, to whom she had always felt closest to. And the one to blame? Stefan Archer. The boy who had broken Kate's heart, the boy who had been their friends, the boy who didn't care at all any more.

 

[Stefan Archer]

Stefan had feeling odd as of late. He was in a sense coming to his senses. Being at school calmed him down a lot more than anything else. He didn't get better by talking or by sitting with others. He got better by just being able to relax. Of course, he was only seeing the sense in having friends. His mind was still angry. He still wanted to destroy the things in his life. The things that he knew would never leave his mind. Stefan Archer wanted still to tear things apart and show the world that he wasn't just a weak second year boy. he wanted to show them, that he was actually someone that people could like. That he could stand up for himself and for his friends. But, Stefan knew he had only one friend. Willow, had helped him realise that friends weren't a bad thing. Or that her as a friend wouldn't be a bad thing. Stefan knew that whatever he did, he would be able to count on her. She didn't have to believe everything he said but he just needed her to be there. He would learn to trust her if she tried to be there. As he would for her, because that was what friends did. And Stefan wanted to be a good friend. He needed to be a good friend. To show to her, and eventually to others, that he was just looking out for them. Stefan wasn't as certain about his future as most of the other people he knew were. He wasn't as sure as to if he'd still be around next year. For others it was at the back of the mind, but for Stefan he took it one day at a time, just in case. Even at Hogwarts. He had no idea what he would do for Halloween, and much less for the yuleball. To him, one day at a time was both a good and practical method. Stefan couldn't say that it made him feel better. He was scared on everything that he saw. He was afraid that every small hand movement from another person was actually them about to hit him. A constant small fear that whatever he was eating was the wrong colour, and therefore actually bad. But he wouldn't know, not even when he'd tasted it. Stefan just went along with it all. Pushing through and letting the anger just boil inside him. Of course it would just boil. Stefan didn't ever want to let it free. He knew that he needed to keep under control. Because losing it, could mean losing hogwarts. And Stefan didn't want that.

Stefan walked up to the kitchens. His hand had started bleeding again, and remembering what Willow had said he wanted to find out if it worked. He had his head down, and was walking as quickly as he could, and the blood was seeping through the paper pretty quickly. He walked in, just as someone else walked out. He didn't bother to look at who it was, instead he just went straight in and asked one of the weird creatures if they could help him. They suggested that he visit the hospital, but were content on fetching him what he needed. Stefan had to admit, the help from the elves was one he appreciated greatly. Generally he had to do things for himself, so having someone to help him get something that he had no real idea what it was was most useful. He only had to wait a few moments before the creatures returned with what he needed. It was a cloth and the Essence of Murtlap. He thanked them and then proceeded to wet the cloth and while carefully removing the blood stained paper, which hurt slightly as he did so, was able to apply the cloth to his hand. There was a brief moment of stinging and then it was fine. He took the cloth and essence with him and left the room. As he exited his eyes lay upon someone who he didn't want to see. His eyes dropped to the floor. Sara Moon Kate's sister. "Oh" Escaped from his mouth. She was the last person he wanted or expected to see​

 

[Sara Moon]

Sara was quietly eating her chocolate, she was upset, no use denying it and silent tears had begun to roll down her cheeks. She wasn't sure of herself anymore and just thinking about Stefan Archer made her angry right now-he was the reason for everything going wrong. Still, she found she wasn't angry with Stefan, she was angry with circumstances and whoever was giving him the bruises on his arm. She knew they weren't an accident, someone had done this to him and they were the one she blamed. She slowly ate her chocolate, but it tasted bitter from her tears. "Why does everything have to be wrong." she whispered to herself, upset.

Then she looked up, hearing a voice. There was Stefan Archer, the one person she didn't know how to deal with at the moment, the one person she didn't know how to deal with. She knew there was something wrong, and she knew that he wouldn't talk about it, but she didn't know how to talk to him about it. She looked up at him, dark hair, blue eyes and so, very, very sad. She sighed "Hello Stefan." she smiled at him, patting the seat beside her. She wouldn't be surprised if he didn't sit. The last time they'd seen each other, she had gone absolutely ballistic on him, shouting at him and getting angry. She had apologised, but she didn't think he cared. She remembered how Kate had run off crying that day, and wanted to talk about it, but didn't know if she should. "She hasn't been eating." she said quietly, her voice breaking, knowing he would have heard her in the dead silence.

 

[Stefan Archer]

</SIZE>

<SIZE size="50">A thought crossed his mind where he just walked away. But, with his eyes glued to the floor, he found he couldn't. He couldn't just walk away. He wanted to, but somehow he couldn't. He was afraid that she would yell at him once again. He was afraid that he'd feel like he would back at his father's and Stefan didn't want any more bruises than the ones he had. Stefan thought that she would still be very annoyed at him, but the tone of voice she used to address him, really told him other wise. This did not mean he was ready to say anything back. He knew she would be pretty much full of hatred for him right now. He'd hurt Kate, pretty badly, but he had wanted that. He needed her to stay away, because he didn't want to make her go through any form of loss, if he was to disappear. Stefan knew he could hardly decide for Kate what she was to do, but to him it was pretty clear that he had needed to do what he'd done. He glanced briefly up at her and watched her motion the seat next to her. He shook his head, and instead, moved out from the kitchen door way, and then sat down on the ground beside it. He didn't want to leave, he feared what she would do. He'd never really felt afraid of someone who he'd previous liked. It was pretty obvious to him that he was a stupid spineless boy that a girl, scared him. She had seen the bruising around his wrist. And was sure that if she was to catch a glimpse underneath his shirt that she would be so quickly to a teacher, he'd barely have time to breath. But that wasn't just it, now he was annoyed that he was scared of her. His father would have none of it. He knew he shouldn't care for what his father thought, but this was Stefan Mason Archer. As much as he hated his father, the man was still one of the only things on his mind ever. It was just how things were for Stefan. His father hurt him, and yet, he was the only person who Stefan had on his mind. Kate Moon was on his mind a lot. But he thought of her in a much nicer sense. SHe was on his mind because he liked her, not because she forced him to think of only her.

"I know" He replied. He had seen Kate. He had seen how skinny she had become, and being an expert on the situation he knew exactly what she'd done. He was skinnier than she was. He got tired often. He had to conserve energy and eat properly while at school. He didn't do any sports, and stayed clear from anything that would get his heart going. He also never sat up too fast. He knew what it was and how to cope with it. Stefan just sighed. "What do you want me to do? As you can tell, I'm not exactly the poster boy for a healthy sized human." Stefan's tone was sharp as he spoke, looking up at her every so often. He hadn't meant to sound so harsh but it had just come out that way. He looked up at her somewhat apologetically and just shrugged. "She's not my sister" He knew that this would probably upset Sara, and in one sense he didn't mind. If Sara was upset and annoyed at him, she had a better chance of persuading Kate that Stefan really was bad news.​

​

 

[Sara Moon]

Sara was upset when she saw him walk away. She felt like her last line of defence was gone. She had thought that Stefan would be the only person who understood, that somewhere, deep inside him-he still cared about Kate, but when he walked away she knew she had been wrong. All of a sudden, he stopped and looked at her. In one look, Sara Moon told him everything he needed to know, and that was that she was struggling, she didn't know how to deal with Kate's "illness." She smiled, knowingly as he sat by the door. She had expected nothing less. The last time they'd met Sara had been horrible to him-expecting things to be okay straight away would've been stupid.

She looked up at him, dispair in her eyes. "How did you know?" she whispered. "She's been keeping it quiet." she bowed her head and waited for an answer. She had seen the signs, in Kate and, it now occured to her-in Stefan. Was that another problem he had? Another thing to stop him wanting to get up every morning? "I want this all to stop Stefan, I want Kate back, I want you back. Somehow I don't think that's going to happen though.." she sighed, looking at him, her eyes pleading. She was startled at the sharp tone in his voice, Stefan had never really been angry before, but she supposed this was a touchy subject. "I know that, and I also know that you're not going to tell me why." she replied, calmly "But we could help, i know that something's wrong and that someone is hurting you. Oh Stefan, why can't you let us in?!?" she implored, her voice breaking, she knew that it wasn't giong to work, but she had to try. "I know, but I am her sister, and I don't know what to do-nothing is working. You're her best friend Stefan. I need your help." she stated simply, but her voice was full of doom, because she knew he wouldn't help her, and that Kate wasn't going to get better without his help.

 

[Stefan Archer]

It was clear to Stefan that Sara was not handling everything very well. He didn't blame her. If he didn't know how bad things could get, then he too would have problems. But he trusted Kate. He knew that she would see sense and move on. Eat something and realise that she didn't have to ever starve herself over a boy. Over him. He knew it, he could just see that Sara was no so sure. He could hardly blame her. It was difficult to be in a situation like this. Stefan knew little of the real importance of family, but he could tell that clearly for Sara, family was something which meant a great deal to her. He just sighed, and kept his eyes on the floor. It made him wonder what it would be like if he had a sibling. If he had had a younger or older sibling. If he'd been the younger sibling would they have stood up for him. Protected him from harm. Would they have been of magical blood or not. If he'd had a younger sibling, Stefan knew that no matter what he would've been there for him/her. He would've stood up for them, and stood in harms way to protect them. He would've turned down Hogwarts to make sure they'd be okay. Stefan looked up briefly. He couldn't really understand what she was going through. To stand around and be completely helpless would be quite a horrible feeling. He'd had that, he was that. He was the helpless one, he stood around and didn't know what to do. It angered him, that he couldn't do anything about his father, just as he was sure deep down that Sara was also angry that she couldn't do anything to help her sister. Stefan wished he could do something to help her. But he really didn't know what. He both wanted to help her and not. Stefan didn't look up as she spoke. "I know the signs. When you are as thin as me, you notice the signs of someone following the same path. She gets dizzy easily, unsteady on her feet. Tired a lot, constantly looks worn out. Lowered attention span Less resistant to illness. After a while food becomes something that makes you feel sick. Strong smells of food make you want to hurl. Small portions of food from then on." Stefan listed. It was all the signs which he'd learned to live with. It was all he knew. He was sure that she would be feeling the same things. He knew that eventually Kate would get better. She would return to her usual weight, and it would all just be a bad memory. For him, it would take a lot longer. And every time he'd return home from Hogwarts he'd have to readjust, and he lost the little amount of weight he'd gained. And it was the same for returning to Hogwarts.

He wondered what she meant by wanting him back. He had expected her to still hate him. Stefan had half expected her to go running at him with a knife. But, it seemed like she just wanted to have Kate back to her usual self. It wasn't so easy, she had to just be there for Kate. Sit with her, and not pressurized her, or tell her she was doing it wrong. Stefan knew a lot about how problems could be treated. He had expected most of that himself, but he knew most of the basic methods were not what he needed. He was beyond them helping him. "No one is hurting me. Sara, no one has ever laid a hand on me. Believe me. I don't think that's the kind of thing you keep a secret." It is though Stefan's mind told him, after he'd lied to Sara. He didn't know why she couldn't just let it go. His eyes moved to his hands. One was holding a cloth to the other. He wished he hadn't come. He wished he'd just put up with the pain. To avoid her. He was thankful, that she wasn't able to see the bruises and cuts underneath his clothes. "What have you done to help her? I can't help you Sara. Kate and I can't be friends. I can't be her best friend." Stefan forced. "She doesn't need me anywhere near her, and she doesn't need my help. She will be better off without me. This is your problem, not mine" He knew what he said was harsh, and he regretted saying it, but, helping Kate would go against what he'd worked to get. And although Kate had said she wouldn't give up on him, he wanted her to. He needed to get Sara to help her give up on him. Stefan knew it would be the best way to get what was needed.​

 

[Sara Moon]

Sara sniffed and wiped her eyes watching Stefan. He looked thoughtful, far away almost. She knew that look, she had worn it many times-when she had been thinking something through, when she had been imagining life if one simple thing changed. She heard him sigh and sighed herself, she was just making things worse. "I'm sorry about this Stefan, I just don't know what to do.." she said quietly, looking at his shoes. She couldn't imagine herself in Stefan's shoes, what it must be like. She didn't believe that those bruises had been accidents.

"I know, and I can't tell our parents-they'd take her out of Hogwarts and she would never forgive me if she missed the exams." she replied, sighing. "You know a lot about it." she commented breezily-she sounded carefree, but was worried about him. Two friends not eating-yes this year would be..interesting. She didn't know how to deal with Kate at the moment, she tried not to push her, to just be there and comfort her, but it was so hard not to confront her about what she was doing.

"Fine, I'll let it go-for now." she replied, knowing that he would leave if she pushed him, and she didn't want to wreck this small slice of normality. For the first time in weeks she was talking to Stefan like they had before the first day of the year. "Did you hurt your hand?" she asked, easily, trying to lighten the conversation, when she saw a cloth in his hand. "Or are you just cleaning something up?" she added, after realising that it may be another one of his mysterious injuries. "I'm trying to just be there-you know? I don't get angry with her and I don't push her, but she seems almost dead inside. She's falling apart and crying her eyes out at random times also, it's strange for Kate." she replied, sighing. "Stefan, why can't you be friends, I'm not attacking you, I'm just asking." she asked, looking him straight in the eyes, her eyes curious.

 

[Stefan Archer]

Never knowing what could be better, was the way Stefan had lived until school. He'd long let go of the worries about what he would do. But they had returned when he was thrust back into the world. He had to make decisions about those around him. He knew that they could be decisions about anything. From the smallest thing, to the biggest. But, he was dealing with it the only way he knew how. By ignoring it. By ignoring people, and avoiding all contact with those that would force him into making decision that would form his life. The words I don't know what to do Was what his mind said to everything. He didn't really know how to deal with the question people asked about his past. About why he had so many scars. Why he had so many bruises. Why he was so thin. There were questions he could deal with better. Food, he could talk about how poor his father was. Missing out the fact that his father spent most of the money on alcohol and the food that was given to Stefan wasn't exactly new. It was why Hogwarts for him was a blessing, though it took him a while to not fear the food placed in front of him. But the cuts and bruises were more difficult to explain. And most of the time, Stefan would tell a very unconvincing lie. He was an awful liar. He'd not even improved that much since his arrival at school. His father had at least taught him that lying was a terrible thing to do. Even if he hadn't taught it in the best way possible. Stefan didn't entirely blame his father for everything, he knew that his father had probably been a normal person before him, and his mum. But, there were those days, were he just didn't believe it because of how much he put Stefan down. Stefan glanced up. Not able to tell the parents. Now, there was something that should've been done. "You should tell your parents. Lying to them, and not telling them what's going on is bad. And Kate would eventually forgive you" Stefan looked back down. He thought that if her parents were to find out then at least if she was removed from the school then he would not have to be constantly fighting with her. In the way that he was. "I'm not this thin on purpose. Trust me, I don't like feeling sick at the sight of food. I don't enjoy having no energy. I don't enjoy not being able to eat much. But, unlike some I don't have a rich relative, who is able to pass on money and an estate. I have to get buy with what can be afforded, which isn't much, because I don't know if you know this but food is expensive." Stefan said, his voice rising slightly. He didn't like being like that. But, he didn't want her to think that he didn't eat on purpose and that was how he knew everything. Everyone was from different circumstances, and unfortunately for him, his were the bottom of the barrel.

Stefan's eyes darted back to his hand as she asked if he'd hurt it. He removed the cloth and was surprised to see that the cut had stopped bleeding and wasn't even sore. It looked better. Stefan almost smiled. It would form a pretty serious scar, but he was okay with that. "Cleaning up a cut. I fell in the Slytherin boys bathroom and caught my hand on a bit of tile." Stefan lied, holding up his hand to let her see. It was still a pretty deep cut, but it looked better. Like it was healing. Not to mention it looked like it had been painful, but he had to admit it wasn't now. He just nodded along as she spoke. He'd put his hand back down and onto the cloth in front of him. He was glad it looked better. When she asked why him and Kate couldn't be friends, Stefan looked up and met her eyes. He just couldn't be friends with her. He didn't understand why people couldn't leave it at that. He couldn't answer that question without giving too much away about himself. And he didn't want to do that. Not with Sara anyway. He knew what ever he said she wouldn't like. She'd say it was stupid and that he was just being stupid. That clearly being with her would be better than being apart. But, Stefan didn't want to be friends with her. He did really, but he knew that he shouldn't and that he couldn't be. Stefan slowly stood up from where he was sitting. He used the wall to support himself as he stood. "I can't explain it. We just can't. I'm bad news. I'm awful news. And her being around me, is clearly not doing her any favours. Kate deserves to be friends with people who are stable. Who would never hurt her" He would never, but he said that anyway. "People who are as kind and honest and she is. And I'm just not that. I can't explain why we can't be friends, we just can't." Stefan was close to yelling, he didn't know where this anger was coming from. He had to refrain himself from punching the wall. But, he had paced while talking and was now faced the wall. "Tell me Sara, have you or Kate ever lost someone? Someone close. Not some distant relation that you met once or twice. Someone you actually knew, Have you?" He waited for a few seconds, turning back to face her. Not really giving her much chance to answer. "I have, I've seen what it does. It hurts every day. It doesn't get better. You have so many questions. But they'll never be answered. The pain you feel, makes you want to scream to the high heavens. But you won't and don't. Losing someone is like having part of you ripped from your body. Some people deal better than others. But it's still there." That was his way of saying why they couldn't be friends. He knew it didn't make sense. He met Sara's eyes for a second then returned them to the floor. He was waiting for her to say something. When she did, Stefan knew he was going to walk away from her. "I can't help her"​

 

[Sara Moon]

Sara was very confused. Stefan was talking to her, being nice and almost.. normal? She saw a change in him, but it wasn't as terrible as she'd thought it would be. He had been ignoring people-obviously, but she felt that he was finding it hard to change completely. She smiled, a barely noticeable tilt at the corner of her mouth, she felt as though not everything was changing. She didn't know what to do about her parents, they would be worried, but Sara felt it wasn't her place to "tattle" on Kate. "I don't think she would-you see Kate doesn't really like other people to see her problems, she is very.. not secretive, that's not the word, but she is-private a people's person, but she likes to put on a good front." she replied, she wasn't sure if Stefan knew that, but through the years-Sara had noticed. "I wasn't insinuating that Stefan." Sara sighed, she wasn't sure why he was so defensive, but she fully intended to find out-when the time was right. "And I definitely didn't think you enjoyed it." she added, looking him straight in the eye, frank and straight forward-that was the approach she was going for, and any questions he asked, she would answer truthfully. He may not, but she felt that now was a time to be honest. "I have nothing to hide, I am rich, but that doesn't make me a snob." she spoke quietly, but her voice was strong and audible.

She somehow felt that his answer was transparent, but she hid it from her eyes, using her acting skills, the ones she had learnt since she was a child. "Must have hurt, the tiles are pretty sharp." she matter-of-factly, letting him have the secret-she knew he didn't want her to know and she respected it. "Alright, but just so you know-I don't think you're bad news, in fact-you're one of the best things that ever happened to her, despite present circumstances." she smiled, she wanted Stefan to feel comfortable-she knew he must find things hard, he had problems, but Sara didn't know what they were and he definitely didn't want her to know. Anyway, it was true, since she'd know Stefan Kate had been happier, lighter, bright and alert, all the time-it had been great to see her so alive. "No, I haven't the closest person to me that I've lost was my Grandmother, who was very old." she replied, calmly. Stefan was angry now. "Stefan, calm down, I know I'm not exactly the right person to tell someone to calm down, but I know you'll feel better once you have." she sighed. "And I'm sorry if you lost someone Stefan, but losing us, your friends, Willow, Kayden-Kate, isn't going to make it better, only worse." she added, looking at him, her face honest and open.

 

[Stefan Archer]

Stefan didn't really think that Kate wasn't a person who had fronts. He didn't really bother to look too much into it. He'd found it pretty pointless considering that he didn't want them to be friends. Stefan Archer wasn't however as blind as he played. He could see that she was a lot stronger on the surface. She had that kind of vibe. Stefan on the other hand had to hide behind a wall, that wasn't exactly a confident front. He was glad that Sara at least didn't think that he wasn't like it on purpose. He hadn't meant for it to come out so harshly when he'd spoken. He had wanted her to know that he didn't have a choice as to how he was. Stefan had a lot more problems than just the obvious few. The problems all stacked upon each other created the Stefan that everybody knew. "Oh but it does" Stefan muttered, anger clear in his voice. The anger was at boiling point in him. "You and Kate. You have so much, that you have so little to worry about that the smallest things become the centre of the entire universe. You expect everything on a silver plate, you expect me, to just go help her. If you didn't have so much, she would be fine without a friend like me. Rich people's problems have be the only problem that others think of. Have you asked Willow how she is? How she's dealing with everything? Have you maybe thought that this is just Kate seeking our attention. Has anyone even bothered to ask me, how I'm dealing with not having Kate in my life. I may have been the one who said bad things, but she was the one who ran off, after yelling at me. I didn't raise my voice to her. This isn't my problem. This is yours and hers. I have enough problems of my own to have to deal with hers." Stefan hardly meant what he said. Parts were true, but he didn't think that Kate was seeking attention. Stefan's voice had reached a pretty angry level and he had to remind himself to not be like his father. But he did want Sara to hate him. "Rich people always think that they are the center of everything" Stefan wanted to punch the wall even more now. But he just breathed deeply. Trying his best to keep calm. He ignored what she said about his hand.

The words she spoke, meant little to him. "Don't lie, Sara" Stefan met her eyes. "you were the biggest disappointment yet. I think was what you said before. Anger brings out the truth. You just want me to help her, because you are out of options" Stefan had to keep breathing. Thankfully talking about his loss, was always something that helped to calm down slightly. It made him think of his mother, and he was always returned to calmer state when she was on his mind. He felt better calmer. He didn't feel like punching the wall, which wasn't the type of thing that went without pain. "There is a difference between actually losing someone and just not speaking to someone. It's easier. Since you know that they are still there. It might not make things better for you, but trust me, it would at least prepare you. It wouldn't make a difference for me." Stefan snapped at her. He was of course talking about them preparing for actually losing him. He met her eyes, and didn't smile. He just shook his head and began to leave. "I lost my mum," Stefan met her eyes once more wondering if she would even care. Before walking back to the Slytherin common room. Not even glancing back to her.​