An Inevitable Conversation

[Cameron Roswell]

Cameron had been putting off this meeting for as long as he could but after Professor Castillo casually commented about talking to Professor Corrins about him when he'd been in the common room he knew his luck had run out. He looked at her office door grimly, not bothering to knock before letting himself in, fixing the professor with a frown and crossing his arms. "You wanted to talk about something right," he said shortly, looking for the nearest chair and sitting down gruffly.

 

[Professor Mallory Grayveson]

Mallory had been going over some paperwork when she'd heard the door burst open, barely managing to catch Maxim as he tried to dart across her desk. She smiled softly at the boy, standing herself and moving to toss the silly cat gently through the curtain into her room, and motioning for the door to shut. "Mr. Roswell, it's good to see you," She told him sincerely.

Mallory took her seat again, folding her hands on her desk. "Thank you for coming in. I did ask to see you. Would you like some tea?" She asked, waving her hand to get her tea set going, even if it was just for her. "I was hoping to talk with you about your classwork."

 

[Cameron Roswell]

Cameron flinched when the professor's gross cat darted away, glad it was gone before he sat down. He seriously doubted she was happy to see him, especially since he imagined he was probably in trouble, professors didn't exactly just ask you to chat for no reason and he wished Professor Corrins would hurry up and get to that part instead of being all nice about it.

"I don't like tea," he said flatly, though he'd never really drank much of it besides what they were made to in Divination. "What about it," Cameron said, crossing his arms and sinking more into the chair, well aware that he'd barely been scraping by in class for years though he'd always counted on the professor just being too polite to say anything so he could fail in peace this year.

 

[Professor Mallory Grayveson]

(i didn't forget i swear)

Mallory smiled softly at the boy, letting him dismiss her offer for tea. She wasn't surprised that he was acting surly. She sighed softly. "Mr. Roswell," She offered gently. "What can you tell me about your wand?" She questioned, wanting to get to the bottom of things. "I've noticed how it reacts to you. Can you tell me more about it? What are its properties?" She pulled out her notebook.

 

[Cameron Roswell]

Cameron's arms tightened around himself, fighting the urge to make himself as small as possible when Professor Corrins said his name, sounding like she was speaking to a startled horse. The feeling intensified when she mentioned his wand. It wasn't the first time it had come up, and not just at school either, and Cameron's fist tightened defensively as if he were already holding it in his hand. "Reed and Augurey feather," he recited stiffly, remembering the conversation he'd had back at the wand shop in his first year. Bad luck, the guy had implied, and after four years Cameron was loath to admit he hadn't been wrong.

"It was my dad's," he said after a moment of hesitation. "I should be able to use it, I don't get the problem," he added quickly, already guessing what issues the professor could voice and wanting to head them off. It wasn't fair that people kept implying the wand was the problem. Clearly if there was a problem here, it was with Cameron, not the wand.

 

[Professor Mallory Grayveson]

Mallory listened to Cameron speak, taking his words very seriously. "Hmm... while pass me down wands are harder to control, they aren't impossible..." She mused, getting up and moving to her bookcase. She took out one of her many volumes and opened its pages, scanning it's contents. "Reed is a naturally protective wand wood, best held by those who speak both bravely and well.... and Augurey feathers, since so many wizards are afraid to go near Augureys due to their association as omens of death, Augurey tail feathers are rare as wand cores. They are good for use in divination work."

She quoted, taking her seat again. "Alright, so what I'm reading is that you have a very strong, stubborn wand." She looked up to him. "I could offer you extra lessons, if you'd like. I can do a bit of research. But a wand like that... it's difficult to bond with, and if you aren't in sync with your wand... well, it makes every spell, every charm, everything about ten times harder. Your wand is an extension of who you are, Mr. Roswell. My hopes for you, for all of my students, is to help you to bond to and master the use of your wands. It is a part of you, and an extremely volatile and stubborn one, at that."

 

[Cameron Roswell]

Cameron's stomach twisted when Professor Corrins' confirmed his fears; the wand could work fine. It was more than likely he was really the issue. He'd barely made it into Hogwarts in the end, it wasn't that big of a surprise to hear.

He sunk lower into his seat as the professor quoted his wand properties back to him, aware of them well enough over the years. It described his dad well, he'd been told. He'd been pretty young when he'd died, but everyone talked about him enough Cameron felt like he knew him, some shadow of a person he clearly wasn't, and his 'stubborn' wand a constant reminder. "You really think more lessons are all I need to fix it," he said with a scoff. "After four years?" Cameron shook his head sourly. Was she really going to submit him to extra humiliation when they both knew he wasn't going to get it. Maybe she'd talk to the headmaster and he could just stop going to class. There was no way he going to pass his OWLs like this anyway.

"What am I supposed to do about it? It's not like I can get rid of it," he said, voice faltering even as he said the words, an idea he'd thought about time and time again but refused to allow himself to consider. It'd be admitting defeat. An insult to his dad, to his family, to just give up on it. But god, Cameron was so tired of carrying it around like a dead weight. The constant reminder of who he was failing to be.

 

[Professor Mallory Grayveson]

Mallorys eyes widened a little and she set her book aside, seeing the distress in the boy. "Oh, no," She tried to reassure him gently. "It can take entire lifetimes to really bond with a wand. Some people never connect with particularly stubborn, independent wands. What I'm referring to aren't extended lessons from class, or review of particular spells we've covered in class. I was thinking of some exercises, digging into your wand and trying to figure out how it thinks, help you to bond with it and perhaps get it to listen to you a bit better." She tried to explain to the boy gently. "A stubborn wand is never a wizards fault. I won't tell you to just go to Ollivanders and get a new wand. That isn't my place." She offered, her voice soft.