an explanation is needed

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Carmen Peregrin

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Lin
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Coconut Wand 14 1/4" Essence of Star Dust
Carmen left the classroom after doing another silly pop quiz, she slung her bag over her shoulder and smoothed down the skirt to her uniform as she decided to change direction and head out of the castle instead of down to the dungeons. She was still feeling tired and sore from her ordeal on the pitch and wondered if she should not simply go to the hospital wing to see if she should take something but the idea of relying on medicine to help her was distasteful. As she walked along she began to head in the direction of the cliffs, she had not been in a while and thought it was an unlikely place for anyone else to go to.

In truth Carmen was hurt. She had trusted Charlie, had considered him a very good and close friend of hers but he had let her down. This was a new feeling for Carmen. She had never been let down in her life. Of course Kaleb was intent of spending so much time with other girls but that wasn't really letting her down. He was so apologetic afterwards anyhow and more especially now since the passing of his mother, the two had become closer again. If that were even possible. The fact that he was now her hero on top of being her best friend did nothing for Charlie though. He had left her there, had not gone for help. Had not even attempted to go to her to help her down. She was wounded to the quick over this and didn't know if she could ever forgive him or talk to him again.
 
Charlie had been avoiding the Common Room as of late. He didnt want to run into Carmen, or worse that Kaleb guy. Yes, he was doing what he usually did and was running from his problems. Did he really have a need to though? Carmen might have seen him flying towards her before Kaleb grabbed her. She might have known he tried. Somehow he didnt think that would be the case though. And frankly he didnt want to risk it. Charlie had failed.

After class Charlie sped out of the room from his position at the back so he wasnt stopped by any of his fellow Slytherins. He had made his way up to the seventh floor corridor and wandered around aimlessly before a short time, before he decided he wanted some time outside. Heading down the stairs, he walked out onto the grounds. He thought about where the least likely place Carmen would be and seeing people on the Quidditch Pitch, took his second option of the Cliffs.

As he reached the top, he noticed the figure of a girl, who looked surprisingly like Carmen, Charlie cringed. This couldnt be happening. About to turn around quietly and sink away, his foot caught on a rock and he tripped forward, landing with a thud on the ground. "Damn it." He muttered, his cover blown. He tried to think of what he could say to Carmen, but his brain had forgotten how to function.
 
Carmen felt a tear drop slide down her face and wiped it away looking at her hand for a moment, she wondered why it should matter so terribly much not to have Charlie as her friend. As the thought still lingered she heard a voice swearing and a slight noise of a scuffle. When she turned it was to see the very same boy having fallen to the ground. Carmen bristled and stood erect immediately. Her pride kicked in and she wanted nothing more than to leave him there and walk away but she wanted to get a point across first.

Walking over she stood over him and extented a hand to help him up. She didn't say a word as of yet but waited. She cursed the fact that she knew her hazel eyes were slightly moist but she could always blame the wind or some such thing. Carmen looked at Charlie wondering if he would take the hand she offered.
 
Charlie sighed and looked up to see Carmen offering her hand. He wondered if she wasnt mad, or if she was just being nice. Charlie still felt extremely uneasy either way. Charlie took her hand and once he was standing, he noticed Carmen looked as though she had been crying. He stood looking at her for a moment. His emotions tucked away, like they usually were. He dug around for something to say. He wasnt quite sure what there was to say. Did he say sorry? But what was he sorry for? Not reaching her in time? Charlie wanted to turn and run, but she had helped him up, so now he had to confront these issues. "Are you okay?" He said lamely, tearing his eyes away and looking at the ground.
 
Carmen felt no anger as she helped to hoist him up. She kept her hazel eyes on him as he eventually stood before her and asked if she were ok. As he looked to the ground she did something completely unusual for her. She pushed his shoulder. Not very hard at all but enough to get his attention.
"That Charlie Linus is how you help a friend, by offering them your hand anything to make sure they are ok. Not by taking off and leaving... leaving me hang up there" her voice cracked and her eyes filled up again, "I trusted you Charlie.. completely and.. and you left me there. What if I had fallen? What if Kaleb hadn't gotten to me in time?"

She was tired of running through the what-if's in her mind. Each one made her more and more squeamish. The height that she had been at still made her queasy now and she had discovered since the incident that she could no longer tolerate heights at all. It was another reason for coming to the cliffs, to test her courage. She had once thought she belonged in Gryffindor but knowing how cowardly she was now she was glad she had never gotten in there.
 
Charlie looked up as she pushed his shoulder. That definatly got his attention. He stood rigid as she sent off accusations. He looked into her eyes as she spoke. His friendship with her still meant a lot to him. She was the first person ever to care about him. Kaleb had to come and mess all that up. Had to take that away and make Charlie seem like a fool. He hadnt left! Kaleb thought he could just tell Carmen that Charlie didnt care? Who did that guy think he was?! He felt rage stronger than the first time he had met Carmen build up. Although Carmen's voice cracking and the tears in her eyes, kept Charlie from expressing it. He buried it under his emotion mask.

"If Kaleb hadnt of gotten to you, I would have been there." He said softly, once again not being able to look at her as he spoke. "I was flying as fast as I could to get to you. I dont know what Kaleb told you." Charlie ran a hand through his hair, breathing out his rising anger as he mentioned the boys name. Would she even believe any of this? "After he got you down he accused me of doing that to you." He said evenly, "I stayed there while he carried you back, because he made it clear I wasnt welcome to help." He growled, looking at the ground. He could feel his anger rising again and he didnt want to be around Carmen if it got too bad. "The thought of you falling-" He started before he stopped, she probably wouldnt care... How could he be friends with Carmen when she cared so much about Kaleb. Charlie didnt want to compete with someone else for Carmen's friendship.

He turned around and took a few steps back to the school. He stopped, but what if Carmen was worth fighting for? "-scared me more than anything ever has." He finished his previous sentence in a murmur. He looked down running a hand through his hair again and began to walk back to the school. He had just come out of shell, now he was afraid of what the effects might be.
 
Carmen was grateful he reacted, it meant he did care after all. She wasn't so stupid as to believe one friend over another, she knew that there were different sides to every story and what one might have believed true the other may not have. Both boys she considered had been watching out for her but both got it simply mixed up in the heat of the moment as to what the other boy's role in it was.

From his body language alone she knew he was telling her the truth as he saw it. She had scared him, the thought of anything bad happening to her had terrified him. Carmen was sorry her own reckless behaviour had led them to this moment. She watched as he began to walk back to the castle and knew only one thing. She did not want to lose his friendship ever.

She all but ran the few short steps to catch up with him and did the only thing the eleven year old girl thought necessary at that point. She slipped her hand into his and smiled at him.
"I should have known you wouldn't have just left me there".
 
Charlie felt her hand in his and he froze and looked down at their hands. He turned his head and listened as she spoke. "I couldnt do that to you." He said truthfully, looking Carmen in the eyes, so she knew he was serious. He hadnt even thought about it when she fell. In a way he wished Kaleb hadnt been there, so he could have proved that fact. But it was probably better Kaleb showed up now rather than later. He was always going to be there and Charlie seriously needed to talk to the boy after this.

He let out a breath, confused by his emotions and his behaviour in general. It was strange how much Hogwarts had changed him. He let his eyes fall down to their hands. That action in general made his anger disappear. He gave an experimental squeeze, a secret request that they forget this whole business. "Im sorry anyway." He said quietly. Although he was more sorry to himself. For acting irrationally, for letting Kaleb get to him and for almost walking away from a great friendship.
 
Carmen could only smile up at him, reassured beyond words as he left her hand in his. Part of her had thought he might let it go and simply walk on but she was so glad he didn't. She couldn't understand why she felt so drawn to two completely different boys. She knew without a doubt that herself and Kaleb were simply best friends but what was Charlie to her? She could not explain it at all to herself. She was always a person who thrived on human contact and knew that there had been moments when she had touched Kaleb that had sent her pulse rocketing but she had brushed it off and pushed it aside. Bestfriends didn't feel that way about one another and Kaleb would never think of her like that, he had Leia and whatever other girl was on the menu for that week. She felt the gentle squeeze of his hand on hers and returned it gratefully. The touch of Charlies skin against her own was warm and gentle, she felt content... simply happy in the moment they shared.

"I'm sorry too Charlie, if I hadn't wanted us to race in the first place it would never have happened" she glanced down at their hands as well for a moment before turning her face to his a bright almost dazzling smile on her countenance.
"Are we still friends then Charlie?"
 
Charlie couldnt stop the smile that reached his face when she squeezed his hand back. He shook his head when she apologized. "It was never your fault. Like I told Kaleb. You're safe and thats all that matters." He said, slipping the fact that he told Kaleb in there just so she would understand that everything she was told wasnt the truth. He wasnt trying to turn her against Kaleb, he just wanted her to know that Charlie really cared.

"Of course we are." He said, a slight question in his voice. Hopefully Carmen didnt think differently of him after this. Although he kept her request from a while ago in his mind. That he should never judger her. And so he wouldnt. He let go of her hand, so he could turn fully. He paused only for a small moment. He then pushed any worries aside and wrapped his arms around her. The first physical contact he had initiated with a person. It didnt feel odd to him at all. It felt natural and it made his heart beat a little faster. He had a friend. Suddenly the thought of not having Carmen around was a horrible one. He wouldnt let Kaleb take her away again.
 
Carmen heard him say that he had told Kaleb that she was safe and that, that was all that mattered. She frowned for a moment wondering when they had happened but she had been in shock and terrified beyond measure.
"How can you say that? I was the one who wanted to race, I was the one who suggested through the hoops. I was the one who couldn't fly well enough to execute a decent turn" the more she spoke the more embarrassed she got now. She was glad that he thought them still friends because she was more than certain now that it had been her own stupidity that had led to the entire situation.
When he released her hand she looked at the empty appendage for a moment until he gathered her into a hug. Carmen stood motionless for a brief fraction of time and then her arms went about Charlie and she held him close. Nothing would break their friendship again least of all her.
 
Charlie raised an eyebrow as she spoke. "You can think that, but none of it matters." He said firmly, disregarding any further protest she wanted to make. Her almost falling was an accident and Carmen could not blame herself for this. In truth he wanted to erase it from his memory as every time he thought about it he relived the fear of seeing his first and only friend dangling from a hoop on the Quidditch pitch.

He focused on the hug, clinging to Carmen like a lifeline. He didnt really want to let go, but he knew it would get weird if he didnt release her soon. He pulled back after a while and gave her a small smile. It was amazing how his anger that had been with him before could disappear so quickly. Carmen had had that effect on him sinse the day they had met.
 
Carmen felt him release her from the embrace and stepped back herself. She even blushed a little. As much as Carmen craved human contact she didn't actually get hugged by boys every day of her life and being hugged by Charlie had been lovely. She smiled shyly up at him before turning in the direction of the school again.
"So I have a trophy in the trophy room now" she smiled reaching out for his hand again, this strolling hand in hand was so sweet and innocent Carmen just did it naturally.
"I told you I would. Of course I didn't expect if for a Halloween costume but it was the best and I'm all about being the best. Aren't I Charlie?" she laughed then as she turned her sparkling hazel eyes up to him.
 
As Carmen took his hand again he smiled and had had to admit he was surprised when she didnt let it go when they began walking to the school. He didnt know what it meant? Didnt couples only do this kind of thing? He ran his free hand through his hair, guessing he must have been wrong about this, like so many other social aspects he had been confronted with. Charlie focused instead on the conversation. The one thing he was used to doing by now.

Charlie listened and congratulated her on her success. She had told him she wanted a trophy in there the very first day she met him. "I guess I'll have to stop throwing them against the wall now." He said jokingly. "Or at least check that it isnt yours first." He grinned at her and caught her eyes. They sparkled like something else and Charlie found himself staring. Her hand in his making him feel comfortably warm.
 
Carmen laughed giving his hand a gentle squeeze.
"You better not throw any more trophies about, I'm planning on having alot more than that in there" she grinned back at him. She was glad their friendship had not been hijacked after all and that they were able to fall back into the easy manner that always surrounded their time together. Carmen would have been devastated if she had lost this friendship. She didn't have many so this meant alot to her.
"We're ok then? You and me?"
 
"Dont worry, Ive quit my trophy throwing days." He joked, pulling his eyes away as he focused on the school they were walking towards. It truly was a huge place. At her words he was forced to look back at her. He gave Carmen a small, and if Charlie would admit, somewhat shy smile and said. "I hope so." He unconciously squeezed her hand again in confirmation that he wasnt about to let this friendship slip away again. He felt stupid for ever thinking he could let someone else take that away.
 
Carmen smiled once more and turned her gaze in the direction of the school.
"Does this freakish weather not bother you?" she asked, being so used to a much colder climate Carmen had been looking forward to having a white Christmas around the beautiful castle and had pictured the whole scene over and over again in her mind. Only to be sorely disappointed that the sun was constantly shining here. It rained sure the odd day but to have this kind of weather when she was so used to something else entirely. She knew Charlie was from England and therefore used to similar weather to herself.

"I never thought I would say this but I miss the cold. Usually I have on white fluffy ear muffs and thick woolly gloves and snow boots about now. Instead if I am not in my uniform I can wear shorts and ti-shirts. It's so bizarre".
 
Charlie shrugged, he never payed too much attention to the weather. It didnt overly affect him, he couldnt say he preferred the cold, and it was only when the weather was extremely hot that it got to him. "Not particularly." He admitted, looking over at Carmen he imagined her how she had described and he chuckled. "I quite like this weather. Im sick of the cold." He confessed.
 
Carmen looked at him wide eyed.
"Won't you miss the snow? I certainly don't miss the rain but I loved the snow" she sighed and slipping her hand out of his, linked her arm around his instead. She didn't know why she was this way, the need or joy of simple human contact but she did ever since she could remember. Walking along with Charlie was just so nice and she felt so much easier now that they were friends again. She hoped he didn't mind such close contact with her, she certainly didn't mind it with him.
 
He shrugged, the snow was okay, but he spent most of his time indoors it didnt matter to him. As her hand moved away he found himself mourning the contact and he wondered when he had started caring. A few weeks ago he would be freaking out that someone was touching him, but Carmen made it seem so easy. Charlie was convinced it was just her that he didnt mind. No one had ever been so nice to him. He didnt have to regret the loss of contact for too long as she linked her in his. He looked over to her and smiled slightly. "Im actually coming to like New Zealand." He said, once again with a small amount of inward shock. "Its not England, which is why I like it. Ive never left that small country." He admitted, looking ahead again.
 
Carmen was content to walk along arm in arm and was happy in the knowledge that Charlie must have been as well for he certainly didn't pull away. She smiled and wondered would Kaleb walk with her like this, she had never instigated such close proximity when they had strolled about but she had during their long chats in the common room. She sighed and wondered if the two boys who were quite frankly her only real friends here at the school would ever get along.
"You were never out of England until this year?" she asked him, she figured being in the heart of Europe had made it easier for her to travel widely.

Her family often went to various other countries in Europe, she had even been to England on occasion.
"Why did you come to school all the way here? It is so far for you isn't it?" She often wondered the reasons others had for their coming to this particular school instead of the Hogwarts in Scotland.
 
He shook his head when Carmen asked. "Nope." He admitted, still looking ahead. Her next question made Charlie look over at her with his brows furrowed. "Where else can I go to school?" He asked, confused. Were there other schools for witches and wizards? Charlie thought this was the only one. Did Carmen mean simply stay in England and finish his schooling as a muggle. How he had wished he could have done that. But his parents insisted he take the offer to be a wizard. They practically pushed him out of the house.
 
Carmen looked at him curiously for a moment before remembering that he was a muggleborn. She smiled before nudging him affectionately.
"I keep forgetting you did not grow up in my world Charlie. There are many other schools of magic. Durmstrang and Beauxbaton, Hogwarts in Scotland, Salem in America. There are many many out there but for you to come so far when there is a school in Scotland, I just wondered is all".


[aaarghh back to lamo posts]
 
Charlie's eyebrows raised. "Oh. Well Im not too sure. I thought this was the only one. I guess my parents thought so too." He said quietly going instanly uneasy under the topic of parents. Noticing the school only a few metres away, Charlie turned to Carmen. "What are you up to for the rest of the day?" He asked, with a small smile.
 
Carmen got the feeling that he wanted to simply drop the subject so did not push it any further. She had realised early in their friendship that he didn't like speaking about his parents if he could help it and she would not be the one to upset him.
"Besides some studying for exams not a lot. Why? What big plans have you Charlie?"
 
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