Closed A Shot In The Dark

[Abian Hunter]

Everything was a mess right now. The Amaya situation was not getting any better, and it seemed like she had forgotten about him and had picked her boyfriend instead. On top of that, he and Emily had gotten into a huge fight when he tried to get her advice on that whole situation, and now they were broken up. Abian had liked Emily a lot, and more than that, he'd liked being with someone. It was just... nice to have a girlfriend to hang out with, to skateboard with and to kiss. He felt a bit guilty realizing he missed the companionship more than he really missed her, but it was partly because he was angry with her for how she had reacted. It was almost like he hadn't known her at all.

But then again, Abian hadn't told Emily everything either. Over the past few years, the boy had realized that he liked people pretty quickly, as he'd gotten a bunch of crushes over the years. Some faded quickly, some stuck around. Abian didn't necessarily mind, people were great and it wasn't surprising to him that he liked many of them for being funny or kind or good looking. But one crush had stuck with him for a long time, all throughout his relationship with Emily, but even before that. Abian had liked Jacob Kingsley for ages, and it didn't seem like it was going away. So with everything else falling apart around him, Abian had decided to take a leap of faith. He was going to tell Jacob how he felt. If things went bad, it would be fine. Everything was bad already, so it wouldn't change that much, right? But deep down, Abian was hopeful. They had been so close for a long time, and he knew Jacob liked boys. Why couldn't he like Abian? He'd gotten his sister to look at the Gryffindor practice schedule on the Gryffindor bulletin board, and now headed to the pitch after the practice was over. With Jacob as the captain, Abian guessed he would find him cleaning up after the practice. And he was right. Abian hesitated, then approached him. "Hey, Jacob." He said, suddenly feeling a burst of nerves in his stomach. "Can... we talk?" He forced himself to say

 

[Jacob Kingsley]

Life was going well for Jacob. He was an adult by wizarding standards, and contrary to what his mom said, magic really did help everything. He'd learned a bunch of new spells over the holidays just from following different adult family members around, something he'd never usually do but if it made his life easier in the long run, he was willing to put in the work to learn them up front. Classes were going alright as well. Styx had allowed him into his course. Jacob hadn't been sure if he would or what he might have to do to get in. Turns out, just ask. And quidditch was going great. Jacob was really enthusiastic about the team. Tryouts had been quite intense, leaving him a number of options and he'd really had to sleep on it to make a decision.

Practice today had been intense. He'd missed a bludger and taken a bit to his ribs. It was still feeling a little sore now and he was moving gingerly because of it, but he knew he'd be fine after a shower. He'd taken worse hits. The teen was just about to get the brooms to the shed and call it a day when he heard a voice. He'd been alone so it startled him that Abian had been able to sneak up on him but he had been pretty into doing a play by play of the practice in his head. The teen jumped slightly and then shook his head at himself. "Ah, hey Abian. You scared me" he said, chuckling to himself. The teen rearranged his glasses before nodding. "Of course. What's up?" Jacob wondered what kind of advice Abian might need and hoped he'd be able to help.

 

[Abian Hunter]

Abian's heart was hammering in his chest as he looked at Jacob. Was he really doing this? But ...what did he have to lose? If he didn't do this now, Jacob would graduate before anything could ever happen. For a fleeting moment he let himself imagining going to the yule ball with Jacob, but he pushed the thought away for now. He had to focus on the moment. "Oh, sorry." He said, wincing a bit. Scaring him was kind of the opposite of what Abian was trying to do here. He clenched and unclenched his fists, then hid them in his sleeves. "Jacob, uh..." How was he supposed to start this? He had liked many people over the past years and knew by now that he had crushes pretty easily. He had really liked Emily until things went south, and a part of him was definitely heartbroken about their breakup. But what he felt for Jacob was something that had been with him for so long it was almost impossible to turn into words. "I have something important to tell you." He said, looking at him earnestly before averting his gaze. "I have no clue what is going to happen but uh, please don't hate me." Now that he'd said this much, he might as well take the plunge.

"I like you." He blurted out. "Like, pink-roses-with-no-note like you." He said in a rush. "I've liked you for a long time, Jacob, like... a lot." He felt his cheeks burn. "For... well, ages, really." He added, his voice trailing off a little. This hadn't really been how he had imagined it. He'd been better in his head, more smooth and charming. He kind of wished he could rewind and do it again. "It's been ages." He repeated, as if that would help him convince Jacob. "I don't remember really, I think maybe as far back as when you came to my house over break in my third year. Definitely when you were with that older guy at the yule ball the next year." He said, wishing he could jinx himself to stop himself from talking. He had been so jealous of that, and they had even fought after when they had talked and Abian had told him about kissing Arvel. It was ages ago now, so why should he bring it up? Maybe a part of him wanted Jacob to know how real this was, how serious he was about this. He just didn't want to be dismissed, but realized he was painting a rather pathetic picture. But at least as long as he was talking, Jacob couldn't say anything. Just as that thought occurred to him, he couldn't think of anything else to say. He opened his mouth, then closed it again and shrugged almost helplessly, looking at Jacob quietly, finally meeting his gaze again.

 

[Jacob Kingsley]

Jacob waited patiently, growing slightly concerned when Abian mentioned it was important. They were good friends, and if this was important to Abian, it was important to him. He was all ears as the younger guy continued on, shaking his head when he was implored to not hate Abian. "I could never, Abian" he stated , wondering what he was about to be told. And then he was being told. Jacob wasn't struck silent often, but something about finding out Abian was one of his anonymous roses made finding words difficult at the moment. Jacob couldn't believe it. He'd thought about those roses often, especially when he'd received them. And Abian's name had never crossed his mind. They were friends, pals, buds. Jacob had slept over at his house. He found himself just nodding, acknowledging what Abian was saying. He couldn't even remember who he was talking about when he mentioned an older guy. He'd dated around a lot during his time at the school.

Finally, Abian stopped talking and Jacob watched him shrug. He fought the urge to do the same. It wouldn't have been the right response. Jacob wasn't sure what he should say. He didn't want to hurt Abian's feelings by saying anything too rash. He certainly didn't want to dismiss the guy. "I...I had no idea" Jacob finally said, his words slow and his gaze far off. He really hadn't thought now that he knew and he thought back about certain things, there'd been a gaze here, a look there maybe. He still wasn't sure. They were friends, after all. So some of it had to be looks that friends would share. Inside jokes and funny memories. They had all of those. "You're a great guy, Abian. I've... I...I just didn't know " he emphasized.

 

[Abian Hunter]

If there was any part of Abian that had still hoped Jacob would confess he felt the same way about him, it died as he took in the uncertain expression on his face. He felt his heart sink, but tried to keep a brave face. Maybe this had all been a mistake. "I know you didn't." He said as Jacob simply said he hadn't known. "I... was too cowardly to sign the roses, or say something. I'm sorry." He said, swallowing. Was he throwing everything away now? Their friendship? Jacob was one of his most important friends, and now he was jeopardizing that. Abian winced when Jacob just repeated he hadn't known. "Or... maybe I should have stayed a coward." He muttered. "I... shouldn't have put this on you. I thought, maybe- But... no, I'm sorry." He said, taking a step back. "I don't want to ruin our friendship. I'm sorry." He repeated, as if apologizing would help take back his words.

 

[Jacob Kingsley]

Jacob didn't think Abian needed to apologize to him, and as he heard a second apology, he shook his head. "No need to apologize, Abian" Jacob replied, gently. He didn't want to say anything that would make Abian feel worse. He'd cringed when Abian had called himself a coward. Jacob didn't see Abian that way at all, even if he'd sent a rose anonymously. It was kind of cute, when he thought about it. He and Abian had been friends for ages. Jacob hadn't really thought about him that way, but not because Abian was unattractive. It just hadn't crossed his mind. They were friends, and good ones at that.

"Abian, wait" he took a step forward as Abian stepped back. He sighed. "Listen, you're a great friend." He needed to make sure he said that first. "I need to make sure you know that, ok?" He kicked at the ground, upending a little bit of dirt. "Maybe we should, you know, go on a date or something, see what happens. If you want to, of course. But if it's weird or things start going south, we call it quits and make sure we stay friends." Jacob had lost a few friends to dating them, so he didn't see these words without some measure of apprehension. "Maybe we hang out during the next Brightstone weekend?" Jacob finished with a small smile, the butterflies in his stomach that came with asking anyone out. There was always the chance Abian would say no, would change his mind and think this was all a terrible idea.

 

[Abian Hunter]

Abian winced as he realized he had said sorry three times in about a minute, it would be obvious he thought he messed up, and Jacob probably agreed. He fidgeted nervously, a part of him wishing he was anywhere but here even as there was still another part of him that was looking at Jacob with some hope. That hope surged as Jacob told him to wait, and he looked at him with wide eyes as he started to speak. He nodded mutely as Jacob said he was a great friend and needed to make sure he knew that. But his heart skipped a beat as Jacob then asked him on a date, which he hadn't really expected after all this. "Oh!" He said in surprise, his voice turning embarrassingly squeaky in that singly word. He nodded quickly. "I want that." he said, nodding some more to make sure Jacob got his meaning. "We can call it quits anytime, I don't want to lose you." He said, then blushed as he realized those words sounded rather dramatic. "As a friend, I mean." He said quickly. His grin then couldn't be contained as Jacob asked him to hang out during the next Brightstone weekend, and he found himself nodding enthusiastically again. "That would be great." He said earnestly, the grin still on his face. "I would love that."