A Mutual Appreciation Society

Carmen Peregrin

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OOC First Name
Lin
Wand
Coconut Wand 14 1/4" Essence of Star Dust
Carmen lifted her wand and calling out 'lumos' lit it as brightly as she could when she realised the lanterns only lit up so far. She couldn't understand why she was behaving so strangely around Charlie, usually she would have just held his hand or linked arms with him but somehow she felt very shy and awkward. This simply wasn't her at all and it completely unnerved her. Turning to see if he had followed her, Carmen knew instantly that he would have and smiled at him.
"Charlie, can I say something.. please?" she really wanted to say she was sorry for that night and perhaps then she wouldn't feel so awkward.
 
Charlie turned as Carmen left the party and followed a small way behind her as she created a path in which they could walk. He was sure he wasnt the only one that could feel the awkwardness, but he had been wrong before. When Carmen turned around and smiled, Charlie caught up with her, a small smile reaching his own face. He really couldnt help it. Her question though was a little strange and the fact that she had said please was even more strange. "Go ahead." He said, his eyebrows furrowed. A part of him thought she might say she didnt want to be his friend or something worse. What would happen if that happened? The realistic part of him kept his mind controlled and knew it wouldnt be anything like that.
 
She didn't know where to begin, as much as she had enjoyed her time with Kaleb and would cherish it always she had simply felt horrible after returning to the common room that night to find Charlie was gone. With holidays being the following day, she hadn't even seen him on the train back to Brightstone but now was her chance hopefully.

Taking a deep breath she turned her hazel eyes up to him.
"I wanted to say I am sorry. I didn't realise I had been gone for so long. I should have come back to you sooner. I felt terrible when I did get back and you were no longer there, I tried to find you on the express the next day as well but figured you were obviously mad with me" she sighed gently and looked down as her fingers now began to fiddle with end of her black top.
"You deserved better than that. I haven't exactly been a model friend have I?"
 
When Carmen said she was sorry, Charlie filled with a mixture of relief and confusion. Relief because she still wanted to be friends with him and confusion, because if Charlie was being honest she didnt have alot to say sorry for. She had other friends and if she wanted to spend the night with Kalib then that was her choice. Charlie should stop being jealous. Did he even have a right to be jealous in the first place?

"Its okay. I had just gone to bed. Its up to you who you want to spend time with." He said in somewhat of a mumble. At her last words though Charlie looked up and his eyes widened. "Your a great friend! What are you talking about?!" He protested, even though he couldnt be a great judge on what a good friend was when he only had one, but Carmen made him feel good and feel like he was cared about. Surely that made a great friend and if it didnt then Charlie was sure he would never find out what did. "I should have stayed in the common room and waited." He mumbled once more, his eyes heading to the ground as Carmen looked away aswell.
 
Carmen gasped and walked quickly towards him.
"I wanted to spend time with you, I promised you that much" she had been about to reach out her hand to his but pulled it back. What was going on with her? She wanted to touch him like she usually did but part of her knew that wasn't true, it was almost as if Kaleb had opened her mind to a world of possibilities that night and though the pair of them had agreed to distance themselves from those feelings, she realised it was possible to have ones like them for others.

Did she want more than to be just Charlies friend?
"You didn't have to stay there, you shouldn't have to wait for me like that and I should have tried harder to find you on the train to apologize. You mean so much to me Charlie" her eyes widened at what she had just said and her honey coloured skin tinged crimson as she blushed. She liked him, she really liked him and knew that the brooding all over her Yule Break about how she would apologize to him, make it up to him somehow had stemmed from this. But now she was confused, what did that make what she felt about Kaleb? She really needed a female friend to talk these things through.
 
Charlie gave Carmen a crooked smile, being in the company of Carmen made him forget any form of grudge he was attempting to hold. Even though Carmen was the one he was trying to hold it on. He looked at Carmen carefully as she was talking and her last statement had his eyes widening and his heart flipping oddly. Why did it keep doing that? Her words echoed in Charlies head and he didnt think he could ever remove them. He was vaguely aware of the silence that spread out and the time that was slipping away in that silence. All Charlie could focus on was the cute blush on Carmen's face, his heart beating in his chest and the way the moonlight squeezed through the gaps in the trees to make Carmen's eyes sparkle impossibly. He had never felt this way. He wasnt sure what it meant, although he had a pretty good idea...

He swallowed and then shook his head slightly, coming to his thoughts. He found it difficult to find something to say though and ended up mumbling something ridiculous along the lines of "I wasnt on the train, so you couldnt have found me." Charlie kicked the dirt that lay under his feet. He was smiling although he wasnt aware he was doing it. Her sentence meant more than she probably even knew.
 
Carmen suddenly felt like a prize one idiot, she had just basically laid her heart out for him and he had not even reacted to it. She sighed, the most he could give her was a comment on not being on the train as he kicked the dirt beneath his feet. At that particular moment Carmen felt as if she meant nothing more to him than the dirt he was kicking. He really only liked her as a friend and that much was clear. She would simply deal with whatever feelings had crept upon her concerning him and move on. Not able to look at him now through her own visible mortification, Carmen turned in the direction they had just come from.
"Maybe we should rejoin the party?" she knew for certain that she wasn't in any party mood anymore though.
 
Charlie gulped in as much air as his lungs would allow. He felt like he couldnt breath. He should say something, tell her the truth. But, he couldnt formulate words. He wasnt even sure what the feelings meant. "I-" Charlie stumbled, Carmen didnt sound pleased when she said she wanted to rejoin the party. Charlie didnt want to go back to a group of people where the potential chance to miss out on alone time with Carmen lurked. He was almost surprised Kaleb hadnt shown up to take her away. He shut his eyes and took another gulp of air, seriously freaking out and he wasnt sure why.

In mere seconds Charlie found his arms flying around Carmen. He pulled her close and squeezed her in a tight hug. Maybe if he didnt let go, Kaleb would let Charlie have her. He kept his arms locked around Carmen for what seemed like a long time, but could have been seconds. Charlie raised his head slightly and pulled every ounce of courage he had in him and said. "You could never understand how much you mean to me." It was said as quietly as Charlie could manage without not saying anything at all. He didnt want the words to reach his own ears, because maybe if they didnt he wouldnt feel so pathetic about them.

Charlie gave Carmen another squeeze and then without thinking, he bolted. He didnt want to hear a reaction to that. What had he just done? That was utterly ridiculous, where did the logic for him to say something like that come from? Mentally slapping himself, Charlie didnt stop running until he reached the massive doors to the Entrance Hall. The Slytherin first year leant against the doors and took in large breaths, feeling as though his heart had taken over his lung space. He didnt even know Carmen. She was still practically a stranger. What ever had forced him to do something stupid like that? He knew it, he had just wrecked their friendship. Idiot.
 
Carmen didn't get a chance to take another step when suddenly Charlies arms were around her. She smiled as he enveloped her in almost a cocoon. She couldn't help but feel elated that he had reacted like this at last, perhaps it really did take Charlie slightly longer to express things but she didn't care anymore. She would have preferred it if she could have turned to return the embrace but just as he told her that she would never understand how much she meant to him, the arms were gone again.

Carmen heard him running but thought she was mistaken at first but the absence of his arms about her told her she wasn't. She turned around slowly and couldn't even begin to imagine what had happened. Why had he run away from her? Was she so awful to care for? Was she so vile? Carmen felt tears prick her eyes as she made her way out of the forest slowly. This had turned out to be a very strange evening. She didn't know what had possessed Charlie to race off as he had done but she would find out, for quite possibly the umpteenth time she wished fervently she had a female friend to talk these kind of things over with.
 

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