A boy by any other name ...

[Trinity Cornwell]

Time passes swiftly when fun is being had but never when one is mourning the loss of a loved one, Trinity Cornwell knew this better than most. For years she had craved the affections of her mother and father only to be thwarted in her endeavours time and again. They had simply not wanted her in their lives, had not needed her and her mother most of all had seen her as an accident. An obstacle that could endanger her career progress, a career she had worked so hard for and would sacrifice anything for. Trinity never knew what she had done to deserve such neglectful parents, she was only glad that they had at least the foresight to give her into the hands of her grandparents. Her maternal ones grew old and weary long before she thought of them as being old and they passed her off to her paternal grandparents while they went to live at a retirement home. It was with her paternal grandparents that she found the stability she had always craved, the love and acceptance that gave her fun loving spirit the chance to blossom. Attending Hogwarts had been nerve wracking but she had taken it on board like everything else in her life, with a fearless determination that astounded those who loved her. She had a better start at the school than most as she knew someone beginning with her, Tony who would be her friend and whom she considered her best friend. His temperament never deterred her in desiring this friendship to continue but his leaving the school without a word and never returning caused the first real upset in her life. A string of them were to follow, her maternal grandparents passed away - first one and then shortly after the other, as if one could not live without the other. Trinity mourned their loss from her life but carried on as best she could, the strong free willed spirit she was encumbered with giving her the forward thrust that she needed to propel her into every new day.

Not long after she was to meet Justin Cliffeton, a Ravenclaw boy who quite simply turned her world upside down and her heart to absolute jelly. She knew she was young and possibly too young to feel such strong emotions but with her usual gusto she bore into this new friendship and new relationship as she did everything else in her life, with all her heart and soul. It was not to be long before her bubble would burst again, her paternal grandfather passed away and her surviving grandmother moved to a retirement home. Her parents finally returned to take up their duty in bringing up their daughter. She disliked greatly how they viewed this 'challenge' in their lives but now that Trinity had finally accepted her 'magical' heritage and could walk, talk and think like an adult, they were more indisposed to speak with her and treat her as normal. A baby they simply knew nothing about. They began to make more time for her in their busy lives and gradually an affinity blossomed between them, having opened her heart so thoroughly to Justin, the young Gryffindor found it easier to make room there for her parents as well. A severe case of Dragon Pox hit the school however and she was laid up in the hospital wing for a few months, convincing Justin that she did not care and had left him. She had been so ill that writing had been the last thing she could do and getting any sort of message to him had been impossible. Eventually however once recovered Trinity sought him out and reassured him that she would never leave him again, going so far as to promise him this and she never broke a promise. How was she to know then that her promise would be broken and with it her heart.

Her mother an auror with the English department was killed in a duel, the culprit apprehended and sent to Azkaban for life but the life of a young girl destroyed forever. She had just gotten her mother back, she had just found that they could be friends and the woman was taken from her. It was on the first day of the Yule Tide holidays that she had received the news and though her first thought was to write to Justin, begging him to come to her and comfort her she couldn't and didn't. She was weak and hated showing this side of herself to anyone. She cried and cried for days, became morose and sat for long hours in silence with her father. Her father barely spoke and put up no argument when Trinity told him she would not return to the school. She believed that he needed her at home now and she needed him. What she was most afraid of was that she would leave to attend Hogwarts and would be told the news that he too had been killed. Everyone she loved left her somehow and this realisation stopped her from writing time and again to Justin. As much as she knew he would understand her situation, she was afraid that he too would leave her at some point and could not bare this thought. Loving people hurt and she was tired of feeling so much pain. She did not return for her fourth year but did plenty of studying at home, besides taking care of her father and herself there was little else she could do. Her father however slowly came back to reality, lifted his mind from the grief stricken pit he had waded in since the death of his beloved wife and was horrified to see his beautiful daughter all but scrawny and pale. She was a shadow of her former self, no smiles, no smart comments or cheery sayings. She passed through each day as if it were of no consequence to her, it merely existed as she did. He knew then that he was once again being a useless father to her and strived in his heart to do right by her once and for all.

Over the summer holidays he felt as if he were putting her back to rights again, building her up mentally as well as physically. Their relationship strengthened and he reassured her time and again that she mattered, that love mattered, that life mattered. By the time September rolled around he felt she was ready to return to Hogwarts and though once upon a time he might have let her stay at home, he knew it did her no good. She needed to be around her peers and so he put his foot down and ignored her pleas to let her stay at home. At school she kept to herself though her house mates gathered about her and made sure she was fine, she soon came out of her shell again though the bubbly effervescent young woman seemed long gone. At meal times she kept her head low afraid of looking up to see Justin at the Ravenclaw table. During class times she entered with a few Gryffindors and purposefully sat huddled with them so she could not speak with him and always she left hurriedly after class. There never seemed to be a time when she was alone and she liked this, alone time meant brooding time and she did not want to think about how her heart ached for him. She knew her father had told her that love mattered, had relentlessly spoken to her about it until he felt it had sunk in but she was certain that Justin would have moved on and could not blame him for doing so, she simply did not want to hear that he had from his own lips. The cloak of a coward seemed to cover her as she kept firmly out of his way but she kept telling herself that it was for the best, he was a prefect now with serious duties and a mantle of respectability to maintain. She had found this humorous at first when she had heard it, delighted of course for him but realising how very different both seemed to be now.

As she walked through the courtyard a bird sang in a nearby tree, she smiled at it recognising its tune and sat on one of the marble benches positioned in the center of the courtyard. She did not fear that Justin would find her here or would come by, she had sat here plenty of times with other Gryffindors at this very time and he had never chanced past before. It was of course the Brightstone weekend and her father had purposefully not given her permission for this specific trip, she was to stay in the school. Many students had taken the opportunity to head out and she figured he was one of them. Opening her potions book she began reading through one of the chapters and making notes in the margin, pushing her long blonde hair from her face as the afternoon sun beamed down on her. Clad in jeans and her house sweater she looked casual and yet her posture dictated an elegance far beyond her years. The tomboy had blossomed in her absence from the school and no amount of jeans and garish jumpers could conceal the fact that she was beautiful to look at.

 

[Justin Cliffeton]

Justin walked through the school. Today he'd heard from a friend that they'd seen Trinity, and this was something he hadn't expected to hear again. They all knew what went through his head when he heard the name Trinity, and they all knew that to give him false hope would mean that they would have to pay for it later because he wouldn't leave the common room for weeks. The thought and the simple hope that he would be able to see her brought him both pain and happiness. What had happened? Why had she left him? What was going to happen if he confronted her about it? Would he come across as angry and hurt? Or would he come across as both hurt and upset? Either one could be disastrous in a situation like this. He didn't want her to think that he hated her, because Justin could never hate someone that had influenced his life as much as Trinity had. Hearing her name hurt him, upset him, and filled him with an irresistible happiness all at the same time. He didn't know which was stronger some times, however.

Justin stepped outside into the sunlight of the Courtyard and found the person he wanted to see straight away. There was nothing in the world that could make him overlook Trinity, and now that he knew she was really here.. and not just some lie.. he didn't know what he should do. He was too hurt to start talking to her, because he didn't know whether or not he would yell at her or not, but that was something that he definitely never wanted to do. He would sooner kill himself then yell at her, about even the smallest thing. But he knew something had to be said about everything that had happened, and he knew that if he didn't say something then she would go on and on about everything that had happened, and if he asked what had happened she would do exactly the same thing. Justin knew that he would have to do something eventually though, because she wouldn't want to come over to him if he was just standing there because she wouldn't know if he wanted to talk to her at all.

Justin slowly edged towards her, watching her reading her Potions book. He wondered what was going through her mind. Everything that had happened, probably. Justin, also a probability. Her Potions work, probably also. Justin looked straight at her, her beauty was the first thing he noticed. He had missed just being able to stare at her. She was beautiful in so many ways, and looking in her eyes and just getting lost in them was something he tended to do a lot. Justin slowly began to sigh, and opened his mouth to speak. "Trinity.." He began, not sure what else he could say. He didn't know how to make his presence known to her without everything going wrong. Justin attempted a smile. "Where have you been?!" Justin practically screamed, his concentration slipping. He didn't want to yell at her, but he could tell it was far too late now. He loved her to death but there was nothing he could do about his mistake because it had already been done.

 

[Trinity Cornwell]

The words before her eyes made little sense today and yet she was determined to try to decipher the knowledge they were to instill in her. She was sure that some of the instructions given were inaccurate but could not tell for certain until she put her own theories to practice. With a sigh she flicked the page, a lock of hair tumbled over her shoulder to mask the sun from lighting her features for a moment. When her name was spoken she did not respond immediately, as if she simply had not heard it but somewhere inside of her she had. Yet it felt merely like a secret place she went too when she wanted to remember him and how they were together. How often had she imagined him calling her name and smiling at her as she looked up to see him? Too many to count she reminded herself, until his voice sounded again. This time however it was a yell that startled the bird from it's perch and caused the creature to fly off.

Trinity's first instinct was to do the same, to take flight as soon as she possibly could instead she trained herself to close her book slowly. Her hands softly touched the sides holding it in place on her lap. She looked so composed and at peace with herself as if she were so aloof and nothing could touch her, not his words, not his pain, nothing and yet everything did. She felt her heart pierced as if his scream had been sharp and cut right through her. Of all the things she had imagined when they would meet again, this was not it, nothing like it at all. Gradually she turned her face to look up at him, her blue eyes taking all of him in within seconds. He was taller, broader if possible though still very lean. He was filling up and out to be the man he would someday be. He was more handsome than she remembered him to be or perhaps that was simply a trick her heart and eyes played on her. She didn't want to think of him as being handsome or anything like that, not if she wanted to get herself through the next few moments.

Slowly she stood up, holding the book close to her chest then as if it were a shield protecting her from him or vice versa. Wisps of hair blew about her face in the gentle breeze and instinctively a hand moved upwards to push a tendril back behind her ear. Her gaze had fallen to the ground and now she raised it once again to look into his brown eyes.
"I've been here, studying" she told him purposefully ignoring the true import of his question. Her own voice was hushed, almost reverent in the quiet of the courtyard. She felt the pain wrap about her heart and knew she had to leave, to get away from him before he started yelling at her that he was well rid of her and that so-and-so had taken her place. Yet her feet would not budge, would not give her the escape she badly needed. It was as if her depleted will and self import were willing to take the storm he seemed intent on lashing at her.

 

[Justin Cliffeton]

Justin couldn't believe what was happening right now. This was not something that usually happened between him and Trinity, they didn't fight.. that just wasn't them. But it was happening, and it seemed to be Justin's fault. But he was okay with that, because he needed to know where she had been and why she hadn't even said anything to him about it. She had just randomly stopped talking to him one day and he wasn't okay with that. She was meant to love him and he wanted her to prove that to him now. Trinity was everything to Justin and he in turn would do anything for her in the blink of an eye, but lately she had kept to herself and now she just randomly appeared outside? What is up with that? He was going to find out, and that was a fact.

Justin sighed slowly. She was avoiding the real value of his question, but he couldn't help but chuckle slightly at the attempt at a joke. He could never just ignore what she was saying, even if he was in an annoyed mood. He could tell she wanted to run away. Was he scaring her? That was a high probability. Justin sighed, knowing he had to get the answer out of her. "You know that isn't what I meant, you know that very well." Justin said, knowing full well why she hadn't answered his question properly. This was awkward for him as well, he wished she had chosen to be somewhere less open..

 

[Trinity Cornwell]

She didn't want to fight him but could sense that with his ranting and raving that was all he had his heart set on. It was easier now to feel the ability to leave him, clearly he was not the boy she had left behind. He was growing into a man alright but evidently not one she wanted to be around. When had he taken to shouting so vehemently? Had she done this to him with her absence? Continuing to clutch her books close to her she glanced away a moment before turning her gaze upon once more.
"Perhaps we should continue this conversation when you're not quite so ... upset" she said, turning then to walk away from him and feeling as if her heart were still very much back in his arms where she had left it to begin with. She could easily turn around and tell him that her mother had died, that she had watched her father wither away bit by bit before her very eyes because of their loss but Justin didn't really seem to want to know why she had left.

Trinity moved through one of the arches in the courtyard stepping aside as a first year tore through squealing with delight that he had gotten his first Outstanding in some quiz a professor had given him. She stopped and allowed herself to smile at the small boy, trying to remember when she had been that excited about anything but knowing that she had hated magic back in first year. As she let her gaze follow the boy, it was typical that she glanced back at Justin and felt cold hands wrap about her innards, knotting them intensely. Her pain filled eyes continued to look at him, wishing things could have been different for them but slowly resigning herself to the fact that they would never breach the divide she had set them.