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- 3/2009
OK so I felt I just had to make you all aware of this. Here is a list of 75 things UCAS (the people we in the UK have to go through before going to Uni) don't tell you about University. Some of these are so unbelieveably true. I know I read it before starting Uni and said to myself that I'll be different, and now nearly at the end of my last semester I can't really find a vault in the list.
So for those at/left Uni, laugh at what categories you fall under. Those thinking of going to Uni, welcome to your life
1. Pound coins are priceless
2. You will turn into an alcoholic
3. You live for post
4. The student loan isn't nearly enough << I recently found this out when I saw £0 in my bank account and - £1,205
5. You won't survive without the internet << My normally anyway
6. Food is more expensive than you think
7. The halls were only clean on the open day
8. Every class has a complete **** in it ( if you can't see them, it's you)
9. Your room will only be tidy when you're meant to be working and are bored of facebook/msn/ the internet in general
10. Smoking weed appears to be mandatory
11. You need a car
12. Your laptop becomes your best friend
13. You will learn to type a billion words a minute
14. You'll eventually become immune to alcohol
15. Student loan and overdraft is NOT free money
16.You'll never know what day of the week it is << I find this becoming more true with everyday
17. You have no idea what is going on in the world outside uni.
18. No matter how much cutlery you bring to uni, you will always run short of knives and forks but have too many spoons.
19. You will be Faceraped many times
20. You will eat anything
21. You will wear the same pair of jeans for however many days/weeks/months you like.
:
22. You will wish that the fire alarms were not there
23. £1 shops are the holy grail
24. You will worship Tesco
25. You will ask for student discount on everything you buy
26. Showers become less important. Sleep becomes more important
27. Your work WILL actually form a new mountain range
28. Your calculator will become your solemate
29. You will start thinking and talking like your friends around you, and will pick up a mixture of silly accents. I hate it but it's happening.
30. There will be at least one lecturer you hate
31. There will be at least one lecturer you love
32. Going to bed at 2am is an early night << Usual for me but still very true
33. Most of your education will be obtained outside of lectures.
34. You will spend countless hours gazing out of the window.
35. You won't miss T.V
36. I-player is God
37. Your bin will overflow for weeks on end
38. Your bread will go mouldy
39. To iron your jeans, you spread them out on the floor and force the creases out by hand.
40. Prank calls become funny again
41. You'll never really know who lives below/above you until there is a fire alarm and you are all kicked outside
42. You'll eat cereal for dinner
43. You will wear your bag on both shoulders
44. College students are so much more mature
45. You will become an expert in making paper aeroplanes
46. You will find yourself browsing youtube for hours
47. You will destroy your corridor in halls after a good night out
48. You should NEVER leave your room unlocked
49. Taxis will be a necessity << Yeah, and a reason you have no money left
50. Your pots and pans won't wash themselves
51. You will facebook/msn/text the room next to you rather than get up
52. You're so used to your mum buying you things like toothpaste you don't even notice until you have completely run out
53. You will go out until 4am before an important lecture
54. Vouchers for anything become priceless
55. You'll join everything in Freshers' week, but then go to none of the meetings
56. You can never afford food, but always a night out!
57. You will sit in front of your computer refreshing facebook every minute
AMEN!!!
58. You will have watched every single DVD ever made in the first few months
59. You will try to steal as many glasses from as many pubs/bars as you can
60. You walk to town because the bus fare is the equivalent to an extra pint
61. You pay for as much things as possible with 1p and 2p coins
62. You will talk to loads of people at freshers and then ignore them for the rest of the year
63. You know you're officially poor when you're paying for your food with pennys found behind the bed, in bottom of bags etc. you also know this when you go to the bank and withdraw the odd £1.53 from an old account because its so badly needed
64. Facebook will ruin your degree. Wikipedia will save it.
65. Ketchup is more expensive than you think
66. That "24 bottles of booze for £10" offer in the supermarket doesn't seem such a good idea when you realise you've got no money for a bus and have to walk up the hill to get home
67. Your room will never look as good as somebody elses
68. You will find yourself phoning your mum more often than you thought
69. The microwave will form the basis of many drunken experiments
70. Sunlight is evil
71. You will buy the essential foods from the supermarket but you still "cant be bothered to cook" so you go to the nearest takeaway
72. A cancelled lecture is almost better than Christmas
73. Pizza dominates your diet
74. You will become hooked on one thing from the canteen menu Sweet chili mayo chicken panini with chesse and red onion with a red BPM and a packet of Walkers Cheese and Onion crisps
75. You will end up wasting loads of time writing silly things like this instead of doing assignments !!
Yeah, so I hope you all got a laugh out of some of these, be it due to experience or just finding them funny in general. Now back to my work
So for those at/left Uni, laugh at what categories you fall under. Those thinking of going to Uni, welcome to your life
1. Pound coins are priceless
2. You will turn into an alcoholic
3. You live for post
4. The student loan isn't nearly enough << I recently found this out when I saw £0 in my bank account and - £1,205
5. You won't survive without the internet << My normally anyway
6. Food is more expensive than you think
7. The halls were only clean on the open day
8. Every class has a complete **** in it ( if you can't see them, it's you)
9. Your room will only be tidy when you're meant to be working and are bored of facebook/msn/ the internet in general
10. Smoking weed appears to be mandatory
11. You need a car
12. Your laptop becomes your best friend
13. You will learn to type a billion words a minute
14. You'll eventually become immune to alcohol
15. Student loan and overdraft is NOT free money
16.You'll never know what day of the week it is << I find this becoming more true with everyday
17. You have no idea what is going on in the world outside uni.
18. No matter how much cutlery you bring to uni, you will always run short of knives and forks but have too many spoons.
19. You will be Faceraped many times
20. You will eat anything
21. You will wear the same pair of jeans for however many days/weeks/months you like.
:22. You will wish that the fire alarms were not there
23. £1 shops are the holy grail
24. You will worship Tesco
25. You will ask for student discount on everything you buy
26. Showers become less important. Sleep becomes more important
27. Your work WILL actually form a new mountain range
28. Your calculator will become your solemate
29. You will start thinking and talking like your friends around you, and will pick up a mixture of silly accents. I hate it but it's happening.
30. There will be at least one lecturer you hate
31. There will be at least one lecturer you love
32. Going to bed at 2am is an early night << Usual for me but still very true
33. Most of your education will be obtained outside of lectures.
34. You will spend countless hours gazing out of the window.
35. You won't miss T.V
36. I-player is God
37. Your bin will overflow for weeks on end
38. Your bread will go mouldy
39. To iron your jeans, you spread them out on the floor and force the creases out by hand.
40. Prank calls become funny again
41. You'll never really know who lives below/above you until there is a fire alarm and you are all kicked outside
42. You'll eat cereal for dinner
43. You will wear your bag on both shoulders
44. College students are so much more mature
45. You will become an expert in making paper aeroplanes
46. You will find yourself browsing youtube for hours
47. You will destroy your corridor in halls after a good night out
48. You should NEVER leave your room unlocked
49. Taxis will be a necessity << Yeah, and a reason you have no money left
50. Your pots and pans won't wash themselves
51. You will facebook/msn/text the room next to you rather than get up
52. You're so used to your mum buying you things like toothpaste you don't even notice until you have completely run out
53. You will go out until 4am before an important lecture
54. Vouchers for anything become priceless
55. You'll join everything in Freshers' week, but then go to none of the meetings
56. You can never afford food, but always a night out!
57. You will sit in front of your computer refreshing facebook every minute
AMEN!!!58. You will have watched every single DVD ever made in the first few months
59. You will try to steal as many glasses from as many pubs/bars as you can
60. You walk to town because the bus fare is the equivalent to an extra pint
61. You pay for as much things as possible with 1p and 2p coins
62. You will talk to loads of people at freshers and then ignore them for the rest of the year
63. You know you're officially poor when you're paying for your food with pennys found behind the bed, in bottom of bags etc. you also know this when you go to the bank and withdraw the odd £1.53 from an old account because its so badly needed
64. Facebook will ruin your degree. Wikipedia will save it.
65. Ketchup is more expensive than you think
66. That "24 bottles of booze for £10" offer in the supermarket doesn't seem such a good idea when you realise you've got no money for a bus and have to walk up the hill to get home
67. Your room will never look as good as somebody elses
68. You will find yourself phoning your mum more often than you thought
69. The microwave will form the basis of many drunken experiments
70. Sunlight is evil
71. You will buy the essential foods from the supermarket but you still "cant be bothered to cook" so you go to the nearest takeaway
72. A cancelled lecture is almost better than Christmas
73. Pizza dominates your diet
74. You will become hooked on one thing from the canteen menu Sweet chili mayo chicken panini with chesse and red onion with a red BPM and a packet of Walkers Cheese and Onion crisps
75. You will end up wasting loads of time writing silly things like this instead of doing assignments !!
Yeah, so I hope you all got a laugh out of some of these, be it due to experience or just finding them funny in general. Now back to my work
YAY