You're What?

[Izaak Finch]

Hey Is,

Sorry I didn’t write to you sooner. I just needed some time to sort things out. But I’m free tomorrow afternoon if you want to come down to Bondi then. About four alright with you?

Hope you can make it.
Izaak

It was now ‘tomorrow afternoon’ and with his beloved longboard tucked comfortably underneath his left arm, Izaak Finch let the white wash rim his feet as he stepped from the boundless tug of the barrelling waves. A free, squared hand reached up and pushed his soaked fringe from his forehead, causing the excess water to trace down the length of his long fingers as it did down his biceps and bare chest. The soaked state of his body was particularly refreshing amidst the battered heat of the summer month, a reason as to why Izaak had been spending hours upon hours down at the beachside.

The dry sand shifted beneath his feet, impairing the nineteen year old’s steps with the slightest of hand but after making it an everyday routine for the past six years, Izaak knew every manoeuvre and every tact, and every inch of the beach like he would a familiar face. Quickly he scaled the sand, reaching his belongings in a matter of seconds before heavily setting his board down and himself on the towel beside it. A subconscious smile loitered lightly at the corners of his lips, a noticeable change from a mere week ago. There was no one, and Izaak was certain about this, that he had craved for more than he had Alexis in their time apart. And a few nights ago as he curled up to her in bed, sharing soft kisses and conversing until they had fallen asleep wrapped up around each other, he knew that it was for real. He needed Alexis Richarde like he did a heartbeat.

But lately Isabella had been on his mind. Not in the same way that Alexis had, but each and every time he pictured her flawless face a hot rush of guilt coiled over him. He had used her in his drunken misery, he had hung her up with his kisses and ravished her with an animalistic desire, most of which he could barely remember. And then he had simply left the Leaky, leaving her in tatters and not another word to her since. Some friend he was. Although he had promised Alexis that for the sake of their relationship he’d regretfully cut the ties that bound him and Issy together, he needed to see her, he needed closure

 

[Isabella Ormonde]

Sitting in her room with her feet up after a gruelling lunch time rush down stairs in The Leaky Cauldron, Bella had been ordered by Sakura to get some rest. She had not needed to be told twice and now munching on celery sticks dipped in salsa she happily patted her stomach. Talking to the baby was now a regular occurence, one she enjoyed immensely. It was half way through a rather detailed explanation of one of the tables she had helped with at lunch time where by a goblin, a dwarf and two wizards had gotten in to a very heated arguement that a gentle tap sounded on her door and in arrived Yema one of the house elves that seemed to flit between the Inn and Carrow Hall. In her hand she held a letter which she promptly took over to Isabella.

Yema was pleasant and couldn't seem to do enough for her in her condition, with a smile Bella took the letter and sent Yema away again. Opening it perplexed as she did not recognise the writing, Bella gasped as she eventually read who it was from. The entire tone of the letter was insulting. No emotion, no feeling at all there. As if the night they had shared well and truly did not matter to him. Did he really think she would go to meet him at Bondi? Tears slid from her grey eyes as she reread the note, it was seriously too small to call it a letter. She could feel her heart breaking all over again. Each morning she woke, convinced that today would be the day she would get over him. That today would be the day her heart would beat without missing anything but it only lasted until she rose from bed and then with each pained step she took, her heart would fall apart. Shatter about her into tiny pieces. The pain always sent her crumbling to the floor, she knew at some point she would have to make herself stronger for her babies sake but that time was not now.

Touching her stomach she let the tears fall as she let her head rest back on the back of the chair. Could she tell him, was it really time to let him know that he was going to be a father? He had been sorting his life out, clearly his life with Alexis. She had not even come close to entering into the equation, would he really want a child in his life now? Would Alexis want him if she knew he had a child? Bella closed her eyes tightly. She had already messed up his life so much and Alexis' she couldn't continue to do so. Rising slowly from her chair she went to the writing bureau and taking out a quill dipped it into the blue ink, then pulling a scroll towards her wrote a pained letter. Her tears filtered on to the page and she let them mix in tiny puddles with the ink, smudging some words but not caring. It was all still intelligible, all perfectably readable.

Izaak,

please don't write to me. don't ... Don't contact me, especially as if nothing happened between us. Your cool detachment hurts me more than your absence from my life. I know you must make your peace with ... her. I know you must sort things out but I have my own things to sort out too. Please, if you ever cared anything then stop hurting me.
Leave me be. Enjoy your life with her.

Bella

 

[Izaak Finch]

Tingling with annoyance, Izaak hurtled his towel towards the back of the couch, not caring whether or not it made it. Isabella was a no show and although he had absolutely no reason to feel the tiniest amount of irritation, he did. Whatever she may think, he cared about her; he wanted to know how she was holding up after that frustratingly unclear night they had spent together. No matter the fact that he had slept with her, or the fact that he hadn’t contacted her in weeks, Izaak still wanted to remain friends regardless of how bad a friend he truly was.

With another well-aimed and infuriated flick of his wrist, Izaak tossed the house keys onto the counter top. Yet it would seem he had done so with an excess of force as the metal musically clanked together and slid across the surface, landing with another jangle on the kitchen floor. An aggravated groan rose in his throat and Izaak stormed several steps over to retrieve them from the ground. If it weren’t for the fact that he’d probably never remember where he had put them, he would have left them lying there dejectedly as a source of his frustration with Isabella.

Yet there was a envelope lying beneath the keys as if the force of his throw had sent it flying too. Curiously he picked it up off of the floor and pried it upon, already knowing who it would be from. His azure blue eyes scanned across the words, letting them slice him in half all over again just like her sobs had the morning after. With his anger subsidised and his mind more level and logical, Izaak instantly began to scrawl a reply.

Please Isabella, come see me. I’m really worried about you, I need to see you. I’m sorry I hurt you and whatever our friendship might have been before that night at the Leaky. I feel like am a jerk and you don’t deserve this. But please Issy, I miss you and I need to know that you’re alright.

Izaak

 

[Isabella Ormonde]

She had kept herself as busy as was possible the next day, knowing that somewhere in Bondi Izaac was expecting her. Her hands shook from the mere thought of him and dropping the plates quickly back to the table she had been clearing she allowed a huge tear to plop downwards bouncing off the wooden top before spreading itself out into the tiny puddle of nothing all her dreams had become. Clutching the sides of the table she took a deep breath as Sakura came to her side and told her to go upstairs to freshen up or rest while she took over.

Bella didn't argue but walked slowly up the stairs instead one hand holding the railing while the other lifted her pastel pink gown to stop herself from tripping on it. When she reached her room it was to see an envelope on the floor before her door. She could not even pick it up, could not even go near it but slumped against the wall and allowed the tears to take her. The pain that welled within her was agony of the highest order, she clutched her stomach and called out his name in the most loneliest of cries.

She could not help who she loved, she could not help that she still loved him but he could surely respect her decision to stay away from him. Yema hearing the cries apparated to her side and without any thought simply gathered the young woman huddled on the floor into an embrace.

"There now, shhh. Ye'll be upsettin' yerself and the bairn"

she rocked her gently until after ten minutes the sobs began to subside and racking gulps of air were consumed. Bella hiccuped and wiped her eyes as Yema passed her a hankerchief.
"I am ok now" she attempted a smile, grateful for the motherly affection that Yema insisted on displaying to both herself and Sakura. Glancing once more at the letter she fumbled as she reached for it. Yema passed it to her instead then helping her to stand made sure she was alright before leaving her.

Bella entered her room and walked to the window seat to peruse the letter. He missed her, could she seriously believe those words? It upset her to know she had caused him any amount of worry and closing her eyes knew there was only one sure way to keep him out of her life forever. She would tell him the truth. Why would he want anything to do with her or a baby when he had his precious Alexis? Moving slowly to the writing bureau she wrote him once more.

My love,

Forgive me for calling you this but that is who you are to me and always will be. I do not want to cause you any more grief in your life with Alexis so though I want to see you so very badly I know it would be a death sentence for me. I would only want to touch you, hold you close, kiss you again and again and I cannot. Please do not keep writing to ask me to willingly hurt my heart by seeing you. I am trying every day to recover what little equilibrium I have left but it does no good. Something, anything reminds me of you and I feel the pain of your absence from my life as sharply as if I had been cut with a blade.

I need to be strong now. Your presence in my life renders me weak. I am carrying your child. Bleak as this may be for you, another upset in your otherwise perfect existence with Alexis but it is the truth. Truth that I have tried to keep from you because even now, writing to you pains me. I expect nothing from you.

Bella

 

[Izaak Finch]

Izaak leant himself up against the refrigerator to steady his trembling body, to stop himself from sinking at the knees. One hand gripped the handle so tight that his knuckles had turned a stark and unnerving white, the other held the letter though barely as it shook violently between his fingertips. "I am carrying your child" The written words flashed over and over in his mind, as if they had been caught on film and played on an excruciating loop. He was going to be a father and if Isabella hadn’t had an abortion by now she surely was not going to have one. After knowing so securely that if he ever got Alexis pregnant then that would be the choice they’d opt for immediately, Izaak had definitely not seen this coming. There weren’t many things that frightened Izaak Finch but teenage pregnancies well and truly took the first prize.

But as much as he’d rather leave this situation be and pretend that he had never fathered Isabella’s child, Izaak knew he had a responsibility to fill- at the very least he had to see her. So with a nervous stutter of his heart and a deep breath, Izaak suddenly landed outside the door of the Leaky Cauldron. Shaking still from the shocking news mingled with the strength that had ebbed from his body through the apparation, the nineteen year old wrenched the doors open and jogged up the stairs, not caring if he wasn’t permitted to do so. He scanned his mind for the last conscious memory of the night that had seen the two sleep together and fearfully burst into the room he knew to be Isabella’s.

"Are you really…? Are you sure I’m…?" Izaak shook fearfully with half strung together questions, unable to speak in complete sentences with the weight of things bearing down heavily upon his shoulders and a thought he had tried and tried again to force from his mind. Alexis would surely never want to be with him once she knew the full consequences of his infidelity. "Is?" Izaak took a tentative step into the room, taking heavy breaths to calm himself. Had he really been so drunk as to even allow the chance of this happening? Had he really wanted her that badly? One thing was for sure, Izaak was not ready to become a father.

 

[Isabella Ormonde]

All afternoon long she had felt nothing but exhaustion after sending that letter, she had attempted to rest but sleep would not come to her. Yema had concocted a potion, one save to drink while pregnant so finally she had been allowed to rest. On waking she could not remember having dreamt and was happy for that, knowing that all her dreams were all of him anyhow. Yema was by her bedside smiling.

"I will get somethin' to refresh ya now miss" on turning to leave the room, the door burst open and in strode the man who Yema had seen before. This was the one who had left that morning, the one she knew Miss Isabella loved. Turning back to look at her she knew to instinctively leave but would be just a call away. Once she had imparted this to Isabella she walked around the man and headed down stairs.

Bella moved from the bed, clad still in the delicate pink gown that covered every inch of her body, down to her ankles and right down to her wrists. Her long blonde hair was tossled, loose about her shoulders. Her eyes shot up in alarm as the door opened and Izaac walked in. His words cut her deeply.

She waited for Yema to leave but took a step backwards from him, her bare feet padding silently across the floor.
"Yes I am. You think I would lie?" this realization tore her that he would think so little of her, the other half said statement he spoke broke her completely. He had been her first, her only. Of course she was sure he was the father. Not wanting her eyes to fill with tears they did so anyway. He couldn't even give that much, he clearly thought her a liar and a slut. Pain etched her beautiful face as she took another step back.

"Just leave Izaac. I can't have you here" there was no point in him being any where near her if he didn't want her, "I already told you I expect nothing from you. I can raise this baby on my own."
She knew she didn't have to do this though, Sakura was here to help as was Yema. Her own family were also willing to be on hand if necessary which had been surprising.

 

[Izaak Finch]

Izaak was finding it increasingly hard to calm his heartbeat as it thudded relentlessly within his ears. His large-palmed hands took to his hair, sifting stressfully through the strands and bringing his messy fringe down further over his eyes. It was all he could do to stop himself from losing his cool and walking out on Isabella like he knew he would so much rather do. It had nothing to do with her personally, just the mention of teenage pregnancy made Izaak restless. "Yes I am. You think I would lie?" A shudder curved through Izaak's spine as she confirmed his worst fear- that he was to become a father a nineteen. The prospect made his head spin something awful and feeling as though his own two feet would no longer be there to steady him, Izaak stumbled lightly over to side of the bed.

A shaky sigh escaped his lips as he collapsed onto the mattress that was soft enough to cushion the drop between a stand and a sit. "No Issy, no I don't." Izaak reassured his now pregnant friend before continuing in an unnervingly frightened tone. "But I just... Don't want... To believe it." His lengthy fingers curled tightly around the blanket that lay on top of the very bed that had been sole witness to this mess of a situation. Growing angry at himself for being such a lusty drunk and for not even considering consequences such as these, Izaak gripped the blanket tighter, his knuckles turning a stark white as he cast his fearful blue eyes up at Isabella. "But Is, you're eighteen! We're barely adults! And I... I don't want to be a parent this young. Do you? Honestly?" His eyes spared her stomach a quick glance knowing that inside was his son or daughter. The thought prickled sharply behind his eyes and only as Izaak blinked the sensation away did he realise that they were tears. In an attempt to hide his expression from his friend, Izaak buried his face shamefully in his palms and tried to ward away the onslaught of tears with deep and heavy yet shaky breaths. "What the f*ck did I get us into?"

 

[Isabella Ormonde]

She rounded on him then as he spoke, how dare he! Bella knew she had to be so careful if her temper got too far, he had never seen that side to her what she became. Angrily now she stared him down.
"I didn't choose this but neither did this baby. It was our actions Izaac. Our pathetic destructive mindless actions that created this baby and ... and for me it was concieved with love and because of me it will be born with love. I may not have chosen this as my ideal future but it is that way now. I will not abandon my baby. I will not give my baby up because you're not ready!" she felt the shudders beginning slowly in her slight frame, felt the white rage begin to boil in her blood and knew she had to calm herself better than this. Had to calm herself. She didn't know how her sprouting wings would effect the baby but so did not want to risk it.

Her hand touched her stomach with an overprotective force, as if shielding her baby from him. It didn't matter that she loved him, she would get over it. She had too. This baby was her life now and she would not fail at this.
"No one is asking you to be a parent Izaac" her voice was a little calmer, "I'm doing this. I haven't asked anything of you, I just thought in the end that you should know."

 

[Izaak Finch]

Guilt overrode Izaak as Isabella stood above him, hurtling angered and heated words down on his pathetic self. Never before had he seen her so angry nor did he want to ever again. She was right though, it was not his place to make such decisions but he could not for the life of him believe it. Concern and fright rose in Izaak's chest as he looked up at his blonde-headed friend to see the boiling severity in her silver grey eyes. Then cast his gaze down to her stomach once more, wondering if such ferocious emotions would bring a dangerous amount of stress to both her and the baby. So Izaak remained in silence, waiting for Isabella to calm down before he even considered speaking up again.

She resolved that no one was asking him to be a parent but Izaak could not wholely agree with the statement. Even if the child grew up never knowing its father, Izaak would still feel responsible for taking her to doctors appointments, and being there to comfort her after a rather nasty bout of morning sickness, and the expenses that would soon add up. Perhaps he didn't have to be a parent but as the father of the child he didn't feel that it was right to detach himself completely, no matter how frightened or nauseous the prospect made him feel. "I know," Izaak sighed heavily before gazing up at Isabella through his deeply pigmented blue eyes. "And thankyou for telling me. But Is, I can't just abandon you like that, even if you say that you'll be fine. I can't do it, not to you." He opened up his strong arms and stretched them out either side of his torso, suggesting a hug between the two just like always. He wanted her to know that he'd be there if she needed him, but to understand that this was not something he was ready for and something he'd rather not dive completely into.

 

[Isabella Ormonde]

She smiled at him then, tenderly and with still all the love in her heart that she held for him but on seeing his open arms she shook her head gently.
"I know you won't abandon me. I'm not asking you too but I am also not asking anything of you. If you want to give your time to this baby when he or she is born I will support that but I can't ask anything else of you" she had walked towards him as she spoke, until just in front of him. It was so tempting to just fall in to those arms of his, to wrap herself up in them and pretend they were a couple but she couldn't. Instead her hand very softly traced along his jawline for the briefest of moments.

"You know I can't hug you. I want more than you can give and appeasing my heart with a friendly hug won't help me" she was not bitter, simply stating the way things were now.

---

sorry for moocho lameness and size

 

[Izaak Finch]

A slight edge from his apprehension and distress was stolen by Isabella as she made her way towards him. Her words almost made Izaak believe that she would be absolutely fine without him, that she had well and truly thought this through in knowing that he would not want to become a father so early in his life. But then it crashed into his mind again, she was only eighteen, she would need all the help she could get. And as much as Izaak could provide, he would give to her and the baby. It was his too after all.

The nineteen year old froze as her delicate fingertips ghosted across the line of his jaw. There was little he could do but stare up at her, the worry and apprehension clearer than ever in his full blue eyes. The prospect could not be shaken from his mind that growing inside of his friend right now was a tiny individual that together they had created. It would have his genes, his physical features and personality traits, mingled with Isabella's own of course. But it was his, his own flesh and blood. And the reality of it all made Izaak more nervous than he could ever remember being.

"You know I can't hug you." Izaak pouted selfishly, but lowered his arms to his side as he listened to Issy's reasoning. She was right and he was wrong, once again. Though after pressing her a gloomy nod Izaak reached up and clasped her hand inside of his own before pulling her down to take a seat beside him on the mattress, not caring whether or not she objected. They needed to talk. "So, um..." He began nervously, combing his fingers restlessly through his messy hair as his azure eyes locked on the shades of grey in her own. "When are you due?" His eyes then travelled to her stomach and suddenly a mountain of questions began to whirl inside his mind. When would she find out if it was a boy or a girl? Had she seen it on an ultrasound? Had it kicked yet? Izaak did not have the first clue about pregnancy so he chewed down on his lower lip in the fear that if he blurted all these questions out at once he may sound ridiculous.

 

[Isabella Ormonde]

He still managed to play unfairly as he took her hands in his pulling her to sit with him on the bed of all places. She became flustered, tried to move her hands from his but found she couldn't. Her eyes searched his pleadingly. She heard his question but couldn't even think about it. Her personal brand of elixir, of poison, of love was sitting once more on her bed holding her hands tightly in his. She felt her stomach lurch. There was only one sure fire way for him to disentangle his fingers from hers, for him to put distance between them. For he certainly was not heeding any of her words.

Bella looked at him, her pale beautiful grey eyes drank him in. Not once did she blink as she broke the small distance between them and kissed him. Her mouth slowly touching his, her tongue tracing delicate patterns on his lips. This was more her punishment of course, soon she would want more of him and would not be able to keep herself from grasping for the moon. She was counting on his love for Alexis to push her away, to push himself from her once and for all. To stop with this foolish need to touch her hands, embrace her.

 

[Izaak Finch]

The beseeching look that desperately clouded his friend’s wisped grey eyes triggered alarms within Izaak. He could sense her becoming flustered in his presence as he kept her seated on the bed in which this entire situation had been shaped. Confused at first as to why this was, Izaak pressed the blonde a quizzical frown but soon understood the urgency that was progressing in her and the selfishness that was acting likewise in himself. His hands began to flex, rising from Isabella’s at the fingertips but were frozen bewildered by the new expression that had crossed her immaculate features.

Uh oh, I know that look. But despite all that was racing through his mind Izaak could not bring himself to physically move as Issy drew closer. It was as if her magic had enraptured him all over again. Then her mouth was soft on his, and her tongue was dancing tantalizingly about his lips. In the space of a few erratic heartbeats, Izaak’s body stole the ultimate control from his mind and slipped into the magically conjured attraction. His lips moved against hers, his tongue flicked softly to the back of her mouth and his hands slipped onto the slight bump in her abdomen, for the first time in contact with the growing child that they together had created. But then his functioning thoughts caught up to the inappropriate actions he was committing and just like that, Izaak clicked into place.

He broke from Isabella’s lips quickly and with heated, gasping breaths. His blue eyes washed over her with all the alarm in the world, directed more at his own actions then hers. It was in a Veela’s nature to lure men in like so, to tempt them and fool them with infatuation. But Izaak had never soberly experienced it until now. He loved Alexis, more then what was probably healthy and to think that Isabella could, even for a moment, push her magic over him was worrying. “Is…” Izaak began shakily and with a hint of warning in the depths of his tones. Upon realising that his palms were still braced against her stomach, he let them slide back onto the mattress and tried with all of his might not to be sharp with his movements, knowing that doing so may both offend and upset the girl before him. “I’m going to try my best to support you and the baby. But I don’t think I can do it at all if this is what’s going to happen.“ His azure eyes delved into her with every severe and pleading emotion within him. These were self-control issues that needed fixing if this was even going to have a hope of working, on both his own and Isabella’s part.

 

[Isabella Ormonde]

She could not believe it, had been certain that he was strong enough to deny her but he returned her kiss, returned it with such a sweet blissful reaction. Bella's composure nearly fled her as his tongue inflamed her senses. His hand touched her stomach and she gasped at the contact but then he was moving away and the look on his face made her realize he had been reacting only to her Veela natue and not feelings for her. She glanced at the space now between them as she listened to him. Perhaps it had been a good move after all.

Bella looked up at him with more wisdom than a girl of her years had a right too.
"Do you see now how unfair your actions are to me? Do not expect me to come to your outstretched arms, to sit and hold your hand without it effecting me in some way. How my ... Veela'ness affects you is exactly how you alone affect me. Distance is necessary" would he understand her now, why it tore her, ripped her heart out to have him be so close.

"So please believe me in future when I tell you that I cannot hug you, I cannot simply hold your hand and most definitely never sit on a bed with you" even now she wanted only to move closer to him again, to kiss him so deeply with as much love that was in her. Instead she was off the bed as if on fire, putting as much distance between them as the room allowed. Wringing her hands together she looked longingly at him.

"I love you but I can't have you. You ... being so free with your...you touch is too much for me. I'll never have you so please stop tempting me".

 

[Izaak Finch]

Shaken brutally unstable by the self-control that Isabella had just snatched from his body, Izaak searched frantically for something, anything to compose himself. He caught his lower lip between both sets of his ivory incisors and chewed down hard. The uncomfortable pressure was barely enough to distract him from the physical appeal of the young woman that was still within kissing distance. The affect that Isabella had suddenly pulled over him was battering Izaak with distress. Never before, without the aid of alcohol intoxicating his system, had the nineteen year old ever fallen to a Veela. She caught you off guard, that’s all, he reassured himself, knowing that there had been no time to strengthen his defences before their lips had been locked together. But why is she still so damn hot?

Izaak squeezed his eyelids shut, shielding his bewildered blue eyes from view and dragged several lungfuls of oxygen into his chest to calm his body right down. He tried to tune in to the reasoning that Issy was bringing forth but became distracted by her musical voice, her words lost on Izaak for the time being. But it was not until he caught memories of his girlfriend and the euphoric past few days that they had been together for the first time in a long time, that Izaak finally began to regain his control. It would always be Alexis, and no faux desires for Isabella was ever going to change that. He couldn’t be without her, not again, not ever.

Certain now that he was cured of his temporary lapse in self-control, Izaak peeled open his azure eyes and was more then relieved to find that it was his friend seated by him again, not a girl so irresistible that he might have to take her then and there. Her beauty was present and flawless as per usual but Izaak stood unaffected. Now that his focus was not half-hearted or otherwise inappropriately held, his mind could register the meaning of the words Isabella was speaking. And for the first time Izaak was able to truly admire and marvel over her bravery. She rose from the bed and he gave a meek nod of his head once, twice, three times in defeated agreement, only now understanding why he could not embrace like he would any other friend.

"I’m sorry Is. I was just being selfish, I should have realised…" Izaak muttered shamefully as he too stood from the mattress, roughly brushing off the legs of his jeans in an absent mind. "I guess seeing really is believing, huh?" He cracked a weak smile in his friend’s direction and dug his hands deep into the front pockets of the denim. He hadn’t felt as awkward as this since he was thirteen and was particularly disagreeable about being just so. The azure of his irises jutted towards the open door in partial avoidance of the longing and pain deep in Isabella’s expression. Now was probably the perfect moment to leave but Izaak needed to set things in order first. "So, uh, when’s your next appointment? I promise I’ll be there." His eyes flickered back to hers with stirring sincerity, conveying the support he wanted to provide her with and pleading Isabella to allow him to help. It was all he could offer to her right now.

 

[Isabella Ormonde]

Now that he seemed to understand her own resolve seemed to be faltering. Perhaps it was her hormones, she wasn't sure all she knew was that Izaac Finch her possible true love was inches from her and she could no more touch him, hold him, kiss him as every fibre of her being wanted her too. She put her hands behind her back and held them tightly together. This was agony, looking at him and wanting him so much was simply torture. Bella turned away from him, looked into the empty fire grate and rested her hands on the high mantle piece squeezing it until her knuckles went white. She had to will the temptation out of her, had to or she would be by his side and every inch of her would be throwing herself at him and he would be helpless. She would see to it, all the Veela pheromones would exude in horrendous amounts because she herself would be enthralled. Bella kept her back to him, willing these thoughts to leave her.

Her beautiful long golden hair shimmered down her slender back, her grey eyes closed as she tried not to picture him but could not. His face was imprinted on her very soul.
"The end of this month but please, I beg of you Izaac. Until I can get a better grip on how I feel or react around you, don't come. I want you there, I do so very much" she turned then, her grey eyes shimmering as she looked at him, "but I need all my strength to get me through this pregnancy, I can't use it up in trying to fight every urge I have for you."
She lowered her head as a tear drop, like a precious diamond slid down her cheek.
"I need you to leave now, I am trying so hard to restrain myself from touching you. From making us both do something we regret. Please..." her eyes begged him to show her some mercy and leave her.

 

[Izaak Finch]

Izaak’s eyes ran races over and over the blonde tresses of hair that tumbled over the back of his friend’s shoulders. She seemed so down and out, so heartbroken but the hardest part was that he couldn’t fold her into his arms, he could not throw his face into her hair and murmur comforting words or smooth his palms soothingly over her back. It would only worsen what mess had already been tossed about. So he stood, hands in his pockets and his head bent to the floor as her pleading words floated across the room. But the more Isabella pressed for his absence, the more Izaak grew confused and distressed.

"Issy, no," Izaak pleaded in anticipation of her next words as she turned her bittersweet beauty to face him. His head shook ever so minimally, willing her not to cast him out of this. Because Izaak could not trust himself to muster the bravery of facing this pregnancy head on again if she did not allow him to be with her just when she might need him the most. But the words were spoken anyway, in a heavy tone, accompanied by the silvered trace of a tear. "I need to be there. I need to know that I can do this, because on my part I don’t know if that opportunity will ever come again." It broke his own heart to see her so distraught but his fear of such responsibilities was something she needed to be aware of. In succumbing to the latter of her wishes, Izaak cast his azure eyes awkwardly back down to the floor once more and shuffled a few small steps backward. His hands were still glued in his pockets and his lower lip was being chewed anxiously down on but hopefully Isabella would take note of his own wishes now.

 

[Isabella Ormonde]

She crumbled visibly before him, sat down into the chair nearest the fireplace and kept her gaze averted from him as her hands touched her stomach. Attempting to gain strength from the baby within her but finding only the slight swell now of its ever increasing life, Bella sobbed silently. She was defeated, she could no more fight him now than she could stop loving him.

The need in his voice was strong, she could not deny him anything. Her own wants and needs were minuscule compared to his. His happiness was once again paramount, she could not bare to see him unhappy for even a moment.

"Ok" her voice was soft, tender so utterly sad in its rendering, "you win".
She could say no more just hoped he would leave her now, exhaustion was overwhelming her. She knew she would have to lie down and rest soon before she collapsed out right. Battling the thousand and one emotions that he wrought in her had worn her down and worn her out. She sat near slumped in the chair, letting her head fall back on the head rest and keeping her eyes closed. Wanting now to only hear the sound of the door closing after him.

 

[Izaak Finch]

Worrisome blue eyes tore a path up from the ground as he heard no protest to his pleads. Was it just as easy as that for his wishes to be granted? But the sight he caught was not reassuring in the very least. It was hard to judge whether it was exhaustion or distress or confusion that had brought Isabella into a delicate huddle on the chair. Regardless, the emotions it wrenched over him were of the deepest of remorse. And yet she had willed him not to embrace her and had proved to him exactly why. So Izaak stood, awkward still and close to the door with a strained expression flitting painfully across his features.

The defeat that she admitted did not render feelings of relief or supremacy in Izaak at all. Instead clobbered him with bouts of guilt. Yet he’d stand by his decision and he’d be there by her side through most every appointment if his will was strong enough. With his ability to physically soothe her diminished, Izaak swept his azure eyes slowly along her rested figure and knew that he was left only with the power of words. Partially to comfort Isabella and the other part to announce his departure from the room, Izaak spoke with brimming confidence, "We’ll make this work Issy, I promise." And with that he pressed her a tight-lipped smile, despite her eyes being closed and exited the room for the second time in his life, clicking the door shut behind him and letting Isabella have her peace. There was only one thing left to do, and that was to tell his beloved Alexis and will with all of his might that she’d have the patience for his mistakes.

 

[Isabella Ormonde]

She heard his voice and closed her eyes tighter. The door was no sooner closed than she allowed the tears to consume her. Lifting herself up slowly she went to the bed and laying down pulled the blanket up over her and huddled into her pillow. The sobs wracked her body with force, shaking her considerably. She heard a gentle tap on her door and knew it was Yema. Within seconds the house elf was beside her, brushing back her hair and comforting her as best she could.

"I is not letting that man up to you no longer Miss. He hurting you every time. I can not allow it" she told her in soothing tones as she then began to sing softly sending Isabella into a deep sleep.

When she woke it was already dark outside and slowly she rose from the bed and went to splash some water on her face. She looked drained, dark rims about her eyes and pain etched on every inch of her face. Her hand touched her stomach and she sighed. Izaac was right though, they would have to make it work somehow she would get Sakura to brew some kind of potion to stop her from thinking of him that way. To stop her heart from beating for him. She knew her bestfriend was extremely gifted where potions were concerned and would be more than willing to help her. Now all she had to do was reassure Yema that Izaac was necessary for the baby, denying how necessary he was for her was just going to be par of her life, the rest of her life.