You Got That Smile

[Stefan Archer]

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It had been a long time coming if the SLytherin was completely honest, he did not know why he had ever thought that it wouldn't be. A part of him had always denied any possibility of such a thing. He knew that it was silly to have thought such a thing could happen. After all the things he's had to suffer through, and would have to suffer through, it in turn would make him impossible to do the things that he did. What he felt towards a certain someone. It wasn't like it had been planned, just all of a sudden in one of the darkest moments of his life the boy had just realized how terrible it would be if she wasn't in his life. Even if no matter the situation his life was pretty much terrible. She made it bearable. And for this he would always be eternally thankful. It was easy enough to forget that he was just boy, and she was just a girl. He didn't think that she would ever feel the same way, so he'd pretty much decided in his mind that no matter how strongly he felt, he would never do anything. His need for her in his life was more than his need to be with her in more than just a friend sense. It was of course, Kate Moon that was the subject of all the Slytherin's thoughts. Each time he consider calling it quits, or when the world seemed completely against him, when he felt like that there was no way it could get any worse. It was then that the usual smile sprung on his mind. The way she smiled, and the way she laughed. The way no matter what he saw perfection. A good heart, and a friendly nature that made the Slytherin feel like his father was maybe wrong about him. It was her, along with his friends that were the ones that spoke when his mind told him he was a useless waste of space just like his father thought he was. Just like his father told him he was. But in the end it wouldn't really matter, since he did care more about his friends than he did about his dad. And this in the long run would be the thing to help him. He knew that his father was right in many ways, but his friends were the ones to keep him going. They were the ones he really cared about. The people he would be willing to grow old with, if he ever got that option. Though, the Slytherin doubted his chances. After all the one thing on his mind since coming back to school had been what had happened in the last few days of being at home. Stefan couldn't understand it. He'd just snapped, it had become too much for him, and for the first time, he'd fought back. It had ended in Disaster, but there had been a moment of surprise from his father, clearly having never expected such a thing to happen under his watch. But like everyone, there was only so much Stefan Archer could take.

It was hard for Stefan. He was still readjusting and while others were just happy to be back, him being back was completely different. He was as thin as ever, but he'd grown several inches, making him appear, if possible, even skinnier than before. And he definitely looked like he hadn't eaten proper meals in a long while, but he could still cover it up with his clothes, that at least length wise seemed to now fit him. Well, the ones from first years, the clothes he'd been given the last summer holidays were going to be a little big for him for a little longer. They managed however to cover up most of what Stefan wanted them too. His bruised and cut right arm completely hidden by the sleeve, although at times if he wasn't careful the sleeve rode up and left part of the wrist exposed and bruises were never simple shapes that stopped when Stefan needed them too. He left arm was only slightly bruised, but there was slight discoloration around his wrist which was indication of a sprain, but he didn't know that, he couldn't see it. So he was a little less careful with that wrist. However, this time around his hands were pretty bad. With dark bruises, and a number of pretty terrible cuts caused by the fact that Stefan had used sharp objects to break his fall. Object he hadn't realized were sharp. So, both his hands were bandaged. It was pretty bad, and on top of it was the fact he had a huge bruise on the side of his face, stretching from his cheek to his ear and then down part of his throat. On the top of his head were a number of smaller cuts that looked a lot older. Of course, all of this was just what a person could see, underneath the clothes was a different story. He wanted things to just instantly go back to how they'd been before, but they couldn't. One thing however was that he could at least be sure that his friends would be nearby to help him. Something he hadn't really thought about until a few days before, but he knew he needed to surround himself with his friends and then think about everything else about his home life after that. His friends were the ones that he cared for the most. He wanted to be sure that they had had good winter holidays. That unlike him, they had good memories and had been to many places. or that they'd just spent it with their family. Something that Stefan did but he wouldn't exactly say that spending time with the man he had to call his father was family time. It wasn't the family time that he had ever wanted that was for sure.

Sighing to himself the Slytherin got ready and headed out of the dorm room. He knew that staying in doors would help him much less that going outdoors. He had gotten dressed in the clothes his father had given him, since they were a lot better at hiding how thin Stefan truly was. He had felt like a good place to go was outside, but Stefan was tired, and he had no strong desire to walk too much, so instead the Slytherin teen just walked to courtyard. It was a fairly busy place, but Stefan was able to sit down at a bench in the quieter area and just watch those around him. It was as he did, sitting in the slight noise that Stefan just felt like nothing could be worse. That all his thoughts of him just came crashing down. He leaned forward slightly, careful of the bruising and welts, leaning his elbows on his knees and lightly putting his head in his hands. While sitting as such, he thought of Kate and started to push away the memories and thoughts. His love for Kate was the reason that he could keep fighting, so he'd be able to see her again. She was light in his dark life. The one person he trusted most.​

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[Kate Archer]

Kate woke up with a big smile on her face.She was back at Hogwarts and thankfully she was much better than last time.When she had returned home her parents of course had been furious that she hadn't told them about her illness...again but they had soon forgave her because it would help her recovery.THe doctours had said that she had a nervous disorder.The reason being that she had been to stressed,working purely on adrenilin at times.Thats all fairly fione until the adreniline stays in your system twenty four seven.She had been told that ther reason she had heard her heart beating so wildy all the time was because it was being pumped harder because of the extra adrenelin. THe head aches had been because of her brain being friend because she has thinking and worring about too much at the one time.Waking up in the middle of the night was because her brain thought she was having a heart attack because of was beating so wildly. SHe hadn't been conciously aware of it but when she had her panic attacks it was because her body thought shewas going into cardiac arrest.It had all seemed to much for Kate and she had wonderewd how on earth it would go away but the doctor had suggested lotss of meditation and he gave her a special drink and tablets.She was much better now though they would only know if she was truely better after the first few months at school.If all went well she wuld be given the all clear but would be advised to continue with the meditation if things didn't go too well,well Kate didn't want to think about that.

After Kate got dressed and headed for the Great Hall a certain someone popped into her mind.He had been on her mind a lot lately.It was sometimes annoying when in meditation she would be completely free of thought and then her would just pop up.She actually didn't mind think about him,she liked it a lot really.She was worried about what he would look like next time she would see him.It frustrated her knowing what happened to him but not being able to help him.But she had kept her promise and she would keep it until he was ready.Her heart would speed up when she thought about him,she wasn't sure if she was just imagining that or if it actuallty happened.He just made her smile and it always brightened her day when she saw him.It was during the summer that she had really started to think about her feelings for him.Stefan Archer meant a lot more to Kate then she had previously thought.She wanted him to always be in her life friend or sometyhing more,she just wasn't sure how she would feel if he didn't show up one year.She didn't want to even think about it really. But what she had realized during summer was her true feelings.She had finally sifted through all her thoughts.For her age she shouldn't even be thinking of feeling that way towards someone.But when you went through what she went through it changes your perspective.She should of realized it the minute they had kissed,or when she had ran out the Great Hall after his rudeness towards her and her friends.It should of been ovbiouse lots of times that what she felt for Stefan wasn't the typical crush.It was something bigger a feeling you didn't really feel until your late teens,twenties sometimes much later but none the less.She couldn't picture herself with anyone else.The thought od actually going out with someone or even having a crush on someone seemed foreign to Kate.The one thing,the one very important thing that mattered was if he felt the same way.

Kate was now long finished her breakfast so she decided to go to the courtyard.She hadn't been there since second year and she had never really gone back there.She took an apple from the friut bowl and walked towards the courtyard.She looked around for an available seat and her face lightened when she saw him.It was funny how that one person always had the same affect one you.Kate smiled and walked towards him.He looked a lot older though it was hard to tell because his face was in his hands.His legs looked longer and from what she could see from this side there seemed to be no new bruises but she knew that they were either under her clothes or on the other side."Hey"She said smiling sitting beside him. She was glad to see him,she had missed him and she wanted to make sure he was okay.

 

[Stefan Archer]

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<SIZE size="50">Returning to Hogwarts, was a fairly easy thing to do, he didn't need to think about it ever. It was always however a lot harder to do than he always first thought. There were many problems which were never really came up until the Slytherin found himself walking the halls once more. A part of the boy believed that Hogwarts still wasn't real. That it was all something he'd made up in his head. A way of coping with what his life was like. So unless he was walking the halls, seeing people he knew and with his friends, the boy hardly believed it, after all, Hogwarts was the first good thing in his life. He was colourblind, his mother was dead, and well his father was not someone that the Slytherin enjoyed thinking about. Much less enjoyed actually living it. After all, the boy was sure that he could pretty much deal with being colourblind, he could deal with not having his mother, but his father, that was a completely different matter. The man he had to call his father was the one person in his life that made him feel completely worthless, completely useless and a complete waste of air and space. He was constantly surrounded of those facts, so it was understandable that the boy was having some issues with believing that something good could be in his life, even after three years. Here at Hogwarts he had people who cared, people he told him that he wasn't worthless, that his life meant something to someone. It was a pretty difficult thing for the Slytherin teen to believe, even more so than Hogwarts itself, and this was not helped but the breaks back home. Any confidence he was able to build while at Hogwarts was completely shattered within a day of being at home. His father made sure of that. He was at least thankful that despite everything his father still kept him around. After all, having a roof over his head, no matter how bad it got, was better than living on the streets. Or in foster care. But being back at Hogwarts Stefan had to push all thoughts of his father to the back of his brain. he couldn't let the people he knew and cared about know about what happened to him as soon as he got home. It was fairly hard to cover up, but he always had to try. Sitting in the courtyard, with his head in his hands, the Slytherin was attempting to keep himself composed. he didn't quite know how he was managing it. All he could think of was his father. And how he was pretty sure he'd pushed his father over the edge.

A soft voice sounded beside him, and the fact that he had been completely unaware, meant the slytherin had been caught by surprise. He jumped slightly, removing the hands from his face and looking to see who it was. The entire movement, had caused pain to course through his body, and there was a clear fear in his eyes. He had a nasty looking bruise which went from his cheek to his ear, and down his neck. The top of his head had small old cuts on them, and his right eye had a small yellowing bruise underneath clearly exhausted eyes. He barely slept, and with his weight he was constantly tired. He didn't have a lot of energy to begin with and after the holidays he went through that much was understandable. He did however feel a smile reach his face when he realized that he was looking at his good friend. His best friend Kate. She looked tired, but she looked pleased to see him, and Stefan felt the same way about her. After all, she was one of the people he cared about most in the world. She was the one person he would literally do anything for. His other's he'd try his best but with Kate, he didn't want to ever live without her. He needed her more than she would probably ever know. He let his breathing even out slightly. He knew that she'd see she'd panicked him, but he didn't really need her to see such a thing. "hey" It seemed kind of a lame way to start this conversation but he didn't know how else to. He smiled at her, letting his eyes look back down at his hands. He pulled down on his jumper sleeves, covering as much of the bandages as he could. He didn't need her knowing about them. Not what his clothes managed to hide. Without much thought to it, the boy put his arm around Kate's shoulders and brought her close to him. Obviously careful to not hurt himself too much. But he missed her so much. She was his everything. He always felt comfortable with her beside him. He never wanted her to leave ever. She was his rock, in his shaky life. "I missed you. Everyday." Stefan looked to her and smile again. "I hope yours were better than mine." Stefan was pretty sure that hers had been better than his, but it was his way of asking how her holidays were, without her having to ask it back.

Stefan Archer looked away and back at the ground. He wanted to savor every second he had with Kate. After all, he was pretty sure he'd sealed his fate for the next holidays. He'd pretty much decided it when he'd tried to do something about it. But, now he had his school life to lead, but on a brave face and pretend that everything was and would be okay, It didn't matter that he didn't believe it, he had to get her to believe it. However this meant in his mind he had to do finally do something about him and Kate. Something, anything. He just couldn't find the courage. "You look beautiful" Stefan said quietly. "The holidays are just too long,"
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[Kate Archer]

Out of Character:

The situation with Kate's illness has changed since I posted last,she has gotten much worse and has lost weight and is getting head aches and panic attacks are more frequent. The doctors had diagnnoised her wrong but she doesn't know this yet. Sorry i forgot to say it!

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Kate was feeling alright today,it wasn't one of her best days but it certainly wasn't one of her worst either. Sadly she had lost some weight and she had had two panic attacks in the last four days and her head aches were worsening. School had become harder because it was hard to concentrate when she had a pounding in her head constantly though it wasn't too bad sometimes. She had wrote a letter to her parents telling them how she wasn't getting better like the doctors had said,she was convinced they had got something wrong as she had done all they had said but she was just getting steadily worse as the year progressed. She was scared but she tried forgetting about it. She had to focus on school because she had missed loads in second year and she needed it for the OWLs next year.

Even in the mist of her private misery,seeing him put a smile on hr face. She could see she had surprised him when she saw him jump. Her smiled faltered a bit when she saw the bruise on his face and the cuts of his arms.How anyone could deal with that was beyond her,he was so strong because if she had been in his position she would of given up ages ago. She wasn't going to bother asking questions or say anything about it because she knew she would get no where with it. She smiled as he put his arm around and her and with out thinking she gently lay her head on his shoulder,knowing there could be any sort of cut or bruise there. He hoped he didn't notice how tired she looked. Her heart never ceased pumping too loudly,she was terrified it would one day collapse with the effort it was this and the fact there was always too much going on inside her head that stopped the sleeping. Sometimes she would get sleep but most times she didn't.Kate smiled "I missed you too"She said,she really had. He meant a lot to her and not knowing what was happening to someone you cared a lot about was hard sometimes but she had to respect his decision. "Probably"She said looking up at him. Everyone's holidays were probably better than his. Kate couldn't help the pink color that came to her cheeks when he said that."Thanks"She mumbled,she knew it was a useless and stupid thing to say but it had just sort of come out. She looked up into his eyes and smiled "You sure know how to make a girl feel good about herself"She said grinning. Without really thinking she slid her arms gently around his waist.They barely touched but Kate felt comfortable like that. She hoped Stefan did too,or she'd remove her arms.

 

[Stefan Archer]

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<SIZE size="50">It wasn't always that a certain Slytherin could feel his heart racing in a way that didn't put the fear in him. It was always with one person, the one person in his life that he knew that he could probably trust with everything. That he could tell everything to, and know they'd still be there by the end of it. It was just the way the person made him feel, and the colourblind boy was glad of that. He knew that being such a way was hard, feeling his heart hammer in his chest was not pleasant. It reminded him of what it was like at home. Of how whenever his heart got like that, something terrible was just about to happen. And there was absolutely nothing that the slytherin could do about it. Of course, he was also very thankful when he could feel his heart. There were so many times at home, when his father would not give him that the Slytherin refocused his attention on his heart beat, willing for it to never given. To never stop, because he had things to lose at this point and he was pretty much certain that he would rather live a life filled with hate and hurt, and friendship than not live at all. Few would care, but Stefan Archer couldn't. It wasn't the easiest thing to do. He knew that it would always be difficult. But it was worth it in the end. Seeing her smile, seeing the school. It was a great place, and he knew that he just had to push through it all. He was fourteen years old at this point, he'd lived through fourteen years of his father, a few more years would be doable. He was pretty sure. The slytherin was less confident about the coming summer break, but he would tolerate it a lot more than most would first think he would. But Stefan wasn't about to give up. Despite what his history would say, the boy was actually fairly stubborn. He really didn't give in that easy. His father was just his kryptonite, serious kryptonite. And it was understandable. After all his father was the reason Stefan Archer was in such a mess anyway. He knew that he couldn't be blamed for the colorblindness, but that was really the only thing he could not be blamed with. Stefan however always felt comfortable, at ease when around a certain girl. She was the one person who could managed to push all his problems away. Make his mind clear. And as ever just in general make his day better. Which considering the kind of thoughts that could cross the SLytherin's mind, was a good thing.

Adjusting his arm slightly, Stefan felt a smile that he'd missed reach his face. Being with Kate was like nothing else. She was the one person that he trusted more than anything. A part of him had no idea what he'd do without her. He hoped he would never have to find out. It wasn't something he desired. He knew that it wouldn't be easy, and the fact he'd lost so much already and had so little didn't make even the mere fleeting thought of not having Kate in his life an easy one. She was the kind of girl that Stefan knew that he could really see himself with. He had no idea how to be with anyone, he was petrified of turning out like his father. He really didn't think that she thought of as anything other than a friend. So many reasons why not, and the Slytherin was determined that by the end of the term, he'd have said something. It didn't matter if it was the last possible second, he just needed her to know before the next holiday, after all, there would always be the issue of it being his last. And the Slytherin didn't like those thoughts in the slightest. He smiled as he noticed that she'd put her head lightly on his shoulder. A motion he was glad of. His shoulder wasn't badly bruised, but pressure wasn't exactly great either. He knew that she probably wanted him to talk about what happened, but he couldn't. "it's true" Stefan said glancing at Kate. And nodding his head slightly. It was true that every time that Stefan saw Kate his heart fluttered, he was always blown away but how beautiful she was and she would always be beautiful to him. He moved his back slight to allow her to her arm around his waist. It wasn't a very hard task, but his back was not a place he liked to put pressure on, but the way he moved his back, and the way she was being light with her touch meant that it wasn't that bad. He sharply drew in breath, and then relaxed. Not telling her to move her arm, because he liked it there. He liked how she felt when leaning into him. "Everything looks a lot worse than it actually is. I'll be okay." Stefan said quietly. He was indirectly talking about the fact he was hurt physically. "It doesn't hurt that much" Stefan looked down at kate and then back at the ground. "How about you, how are you? How are you doing? Honestly" Stefan knew that there was something going on, he didn't what it was, and he could understand if she didn't tell him, but he needed her to in a way know that no matter what he'd always try to be there for her. He hoped some honesty from him would grant him as much.
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[Kate Archer]

It was nice to have that one person who you could tell anything to or the one person you know will always be there for you.It was comforting to know that there was someone like that. Kate felt her heart speeding up a bit it always happened when she was with him but in her current condition she hoped it was due to Stefan and not her adreniline that was pumping it harder. She wondered did he feel the same way,she had a feeling he kind of did but Kate didn't want to admit it to herself in case she was wrong.She was almost sure of her feelings towards him,she had never felt the same way about anyone before,but then again who did at the age of fourteen? But sometimes things will turn out differently for some people and maybe it will be like some of the books she reads. She really wanted to say something but courage was not the Hufflepuff's strong point so she was keeping quiet,but she knew she would have to say something soon. She winced when a big thump went through her head. Just go away she thought angrily wondering why she couldn't just be normal like most people at this school.Trust her to get sick,since starting this school things she wouldn't have expected to happen to her in a million years had happened. Some things she didn't regret or mind at all but other things she wished could of turned out differently but at the moment the only problem was her body who was refusing to co-operate with her mind.

She smiled quiet comfy with her head on his shoulders,she really hoped he would say something if he was uncomfortable. What would she do with out him,it was something she never wanted to experience,because she wasn't sure how she would cope and if anything happened to him under the hands of his dad she would personally go over and beat him up herself though she'd have to find out where he lived first but she didn't want to think about that.Kate knew she was a lucky girl,to have Stefan.He was everything to her,he was sweet,good looking and everything Kate could of hoped for.Kate didn't know what to say,it wasn't everyday you were told that you were beautiful especially by someone you had feelings for."Your everything to me,I hope you know that"She said quietly but looking up at him. Kate raised her eyebrows she wasn't exactly sure she believed that but she admired his bravery and self-control. "You amaze me ,you know sometimes"She said because if she had been in his position she would of given up by now and she wouldn't be able to take the pain. Kate wasn't sure whether she should tell him,she didn't want to worry him but she knew if she didn't tell him the truth how did you expect him to do the same? "Well,I got a bit sick at the end of last term and over the holidays I went to the doctors and they said I had too much extra adrenile in my system"Kate said looking down at the ground "That was okay and they gave my the tablets and told me to take it easy,so I did that and everything was grand until a week after starting here."She stopped took a breath and started again "I started getting a lot of head aches,not much sleep,more frequent panic attacks,sweating and now weight loss. Its now gotten to a stage where I don't sleep much,have a about two or three panic attacks a week and I have a constant head ache"She said sighing as she ended the sentence. "So basically I think the doctors got it wrong"She said giving a weak smile in Stefan's direction."So no things aren't great"She said looking down at the ground again,what a mess she was.But it did feel a bit better to say it out loud she had only done it once before and it felt a bit better to say it again.

 

[Stefan Archer]

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<SIZE size="50">Having his arm around someone was not something the boy could do easily, in all honesty, it was only ever for Kate that he could be comfortable with it. Sure, with Sara or Willow he could take their hand, but that was all. With Kate, it was an entirely different matter. He trusted her, and in a subtle way that was his way of showing it. It was a way of him saying eventually. He knew that she wanted to ask, he knew that she wanted it to stop, he knew that it would be hard, but the Slytherin was pretty sure that the small gesture meant she knew that in time, he'd tell her. It wouldn't be easy, and he would not in any situation go into detail, but it was always a good move to let her know that he would at least in time admit to it. Not now, not soon but in time. And this was really all Stefan asked for from Kate. He knew that it wasn't his best decision to continue keeping everything a secret, especially considering the next break he was going to have. Stefan at this point was half persuaded that he wasn't going to make it. It was a fleeting thought, but he was pretty sure he'd pushed his father too much. Even a little was too much. He'd pay the price and he'd lose her. Stefan thought it a wonder that his father had even let him return to Hogwarts after what had happened, it made no sense. But the colourblind boy didn't think to much about the logic behind his father, after all he pretty much thought his father had none. Therefore most of what his father did made no sense. Stefan Archer was at least sure of that factor. Sighing slightly the boy readjusted his position slightly. Making sure that he wasn't stretching his arm too much, which wasn't really a worry since Stefan had grown, but he didn't want to do anything to hurt himself further, or let her see what was wrong with him. The bruising on his arm was the worst it had ever been. He could feel his heart hammering away in his chest. Beating like it had never before. He had so much to tell her. So much he wanted to say to her. But the words wouldn't come. He couldn't find them, Not the right ones.

The words she spoke meant volumes to him, since he'd never really mattered to anyone before then. He'd always been the colourblind waste of space son. Now he mattered to someone. A small smile reached his face. He was part proud, part afraid. He knew already that for her he had to fight harder that before. Make sure he was back there when the new term arrived. He just knew it would difficult, not that he didn't want to. But more that he didn't know how he would last this next holiday. It was far away, but he couldn't not think about it. It was the way he was. He nodded. "And you to me" He muttered quietly. Not knowing how else to respond, knowing that she probably knew it already. Since if it wasn't for her, he knew he probably would've given up. Even after the disastrous time he'd tried to push them away, it was still kate, as del as Sara and Willow that gave him the strength to keep going. Which was not the easiest task in the world considering what he lived with everyday. However as she said he amazed her, he shook his head. He shouldn't. He was weak, he couldn't get his father to stop, he couldn't see color. Any person could just snap him in half. "I do what most would do in my situation" He said quietly. He didn't think he should amaze anyone. He was sure that if god forbid Kate was in similar situation she would keep fighting. Keep going. He didn't say much else as Kate went into explaining how she was doing. And if he was honest he didn't like the sound of it much at all. He was worried about her. He would do anything for her, but he didn't know what he had to. Suggesting she go see the doctors at Hogwarts wasn't something he could do. Considering that he avoided them like they were no man's land. So instead, he pulled her closer into him, breathing deeply as small waves of pain took over him. He tried to not let show, but, it was hard. He just wanted to show her he would always be there for her. He had no idea what adrenaline was, but he figured that too much was bad. "Little sleep, or weight loss, don't matter, you're still beautiful to me. Perfect." Stefan said, unsure of what to say. He knew what it was like to not get much sleep, his home life was pretty much filled with 3 hour sleeps, or when he slept a lot, it was more because he passed out. He took a small breath.

"Back home, we don't have much money. Heating is expensive, so in winter, it can get really cold, and I'll sometimes get these headaches." Stefan started, leaving out the details like how his window was broken, so it let the cold in, how he didn't really have any proper warm bedding. And how headaches was code for his father causing him mass amounts of pain. "Makes it difficult to sleep, so I think of my mum, I talk to her. Tell her about everything. My day, hopes. I know she's not there, but it helps make things seem easier. And I fall asleep." Stefan didn't mention the fact that thinking of his mother generally meant he fell asleep with tears running down his face. He didn't know what else to say. He didn't know if anything like that would help Kate. He was sure she was at the point of wanting to try anything to get more sleep. "Things will get better. You have my word on that. " Stefan knew it wasn't much, but he had to let her know that he knew things would get better. They always did. Well, more often than not. His entire life was an exception to that, but it didn't matter. "And you'll always have me."
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[Kate Archer]

Kate couldn't remember the last time she had felt like this.It was just so nice to have someone's arm around you,you just felt safer and more secure like this person wouldn't let anything happen to you,which in reality no one could do but you knew that they wanted to and that was all that mattered.She had always wondered what it had felt like,to have someone who wanted to keep you from harms way,she had read it in so many books but had never thought she would be feeling it right now.She closed her eyes for a few seconds and just enjoyed the moment,she hadn't had a lot of those moments lately so she knew she had to enjoy and remember every single one of them. Kate still didn't know to what extent her feelings for Stefan were,she knew that they were above average. Most people didn't go though what Stefan,Sara and Willow had gone through over the past three years and most of Stefan and Willow's lives.It had brought them together in some ways and apart in others.Who knew that meeting Stefan at Brightstone evening would of led to this. But life played out much differently to what most people would think.

It warmed Kate to the cockles of her heart when he said that to her.It was nice to know you meant something to someone. Like Kate might mean a lot to her family and her one or two friends but from certain people it meant a lot more. She thought about what he said next and in some ways she agreed with him but there is only so much someone can take and she wasn't sure if people had been under that much abuse as Stefan had.If it had been her she wasn't sure if he would of kept going,why would you bother going to school or eat when in a few months you would have no heat,food or security. Kate didn't know who he coped,but maybe if you had something t cling onto, a reason to keep going maybe then would Kate bother to keep herself alive. She wasn't the most stubborn person in the world but if she set her mind to it she could be extremely stubborn. "Well,I would admire anyone if they were in the same position as you,because to keep going all the time must be so hard but yet you keep on doing it,maybe I should of rephrased it,I admire everyone out there including yourself that has to deal with what ye go though"Kate said looking at him because it was true. Nobody should have to live in constant fear all their lives and be put down all the time,Stefan should be proud of himself as should anyone who had to deal with what he went through though she hoped not a lot of people did. Kate looked down at the ground again as he complimented her,Kate didn't know what to say,she was so touched and she was blushing so hard she was afraid her face would burst. She was glad he couldn't see her flaming cheeks. She just didn't know w hat to say because it meant so much to her that he thought that."Thanks"She said quietly,she knew this wasn't adaquate enough but it was all her slow working brain could think of.

She listened to him and wondered how he could live with no heating in the winter,she had some experience after their heating refused to work when it was snowing outside but she had had warm clothes, a fire and blankets.Kate looked at him as he talked and she felt as if e was reviling himself more to her and she was glad of this. But what he said almost brought tears to her eyes because it was beautiful. She was glad she had never head to experience the loss of a parent especially at such a young age.She wanted to squeeze hikm because it was just so nice hwat he had said and it made her feel extremely bad that she was fretting over a few panic attacks and head aches when he had to deal with the loss of his mom and the anger of his dad. "You know what,I think I'm going to start doing that"She said smiling,it would nice to be talk to someone even if the circumstances were a bit different for Kate,she knew it would help her to sleep.Kate nodded she knew and hoped that things would. As she always said this was another ump on her road that she would have to get over and she knew it would be easier with friends helping you along the way. Kate smiled at looked up at him "I'll hold you to that"She said grinning but inside her heart was going about twenty million miles an hour. It was reassuring and lovely to know that she would always have someone by your side and for someone in his position that was a hard thing to say but she hoped he would always come back and if he didn't (God Forbid)she would make it her personal mission to find out what had happened. "You'll always have me too"She said quietly moving in a bit closer.

 

[Stefan Archer]

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<SIZE size="50">Having never had the real comfort of another human being it was odd for the Slytherin. Growing up with a father like he had meant that hugs and anything that normal families did, didn't happen. It was just part of what happened in his life. So, here with a girl beside him, that actually cared about him. It was a first. A very first first. And one he would never forget. It was why he knew that she was someone he could always trust. He knew she was the girl that he would most likely be able to tell everything too. Since he didn't have anyone else, and he didn't really trust anyone else as much as he trusted her. He would've never been able to guess then, when he'd first met Kate, that this was what it would become. That he would make a friend that he was pretty sure would be for life. And even if he didn't make it past the holidays he would be very much thankful to have even met her. Since she was in fact the one person in his life that he wanted to be more than just friends with. He had never imagined that even after everything he'd done she was still by his side. And it meant more to him than anything in the world. It wasn't like he didn't think it wasn't a complete miracle but it wasn't like he knew what would come of everything. It had been with his friends in mind that had caused him to just snap at his father, and it had not in the slightest ended well. And it had been up until hogwarts that Stefan had even felt like anyone needed him, like he was at all wanted, that he meant something to someone. Since his father made it pretty clear he wasn't and therefore the fact he had Kate it was amazing. As much as he was worried about the day that she could not longer care, when she decided that enough was enough, he was happy to just savor all the moments he could currently and face the others if they even happened. Stefan knew that what he went through each year wasn't something most would be able to do. He knew it was something that most would avoid doing. Since Hogwarts for most was like what home was like for most of them, they would never know what it as like for someone like Stefan. Hogwarts was a safe haven, a place where he didn't have to worry about the next time he ate, or the next time he was able to feel warmth. It wasn't easy and it felt horrible, but he knew it was worth it. To be able to wrap his arm around a girl that he loved, or be with friends, learn new things. In the grand scheme of things it was most definitely worth it. Stefan glanced to Kate as she spoke again. He hoped there weren't many people in his position, it made him angry that there would be. He didn't think anyone deserved it, he knew and thought he did, but others didn't. He however didn't say anything. Because saying anything would be admitting more that she was almost completely right about his life. And he really didn't want to confirm any more than he had to. Which was what he'd effectively be doing if he did.

Still unable to quite process everything that had ever happened to him, but telling Kate of how he was able to keep himself going was a difficult thing to do. After all, he didn't even know what his mum looked like. All he knew was what his father told him, and that was it was entirely his fault that she was dead. And at first that had been pretty hard to believe. He didn't know how it was possible for him to possible for his mother's death when he'd been two years old, but now it was all he thought about. He knew it was his fault, he was persuaded that it was his fault. he didn't want it to be, but he didn't actually know but he was just dealing with it in the best way he could. But, even with that, talking to his mum when he had no one else was the best thing to do. She probably didn't reply in the way she would alive but, he was okay with that. He could deal with such a thing. Talking to her made it bearable. It made him smile, and it gave him the small confidence boost that he generally needed. He didn't know if it would work for Kate, he wanted it to, since he didn't like the thought of her not sleeping well. And having generally a bad time. So, instead he would be fairly happy thinking that because of his method she would sleep better. And that was his end game. "You should try it. But if you're really having problems, send me an owl, and we can go for a walk, or something" Stefan said nodding to himself. He smiled at her, as she looked up at him. He loved her. Her smile made him smile. He nodded and knew that he would do anything and everything that was in his power to make things better for her. There wasn't a question about it really. He knew what he needed to do, and there was nothing more to it. He would've nodded to what she said, but as she moved closer, his side erupted in pain. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. And slowly the pain faded away. He liked having her there, but it had been sudden movement he'd not been ready for which had meant he couldn't prepare for the pain which had then followed. "Sorry" Stefan muttered readjusting himself slightly. He didn't know what else to say so instead he just sat in the silence glad to have Kate by his side since she was one of the greatest people he knew. And he didn't ever want her to change, or forget that. Stefan was glad to be in her company and spend time since he really did miss it every holiday break. Making this year amazing was literally all he had in mind. "So, you want to go for a walk? Like along the lake?"
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[Kate Archer]

Kate looked up at Stefan and just looked. It was amazing how one person could mean so much to you.As she looked at Stefan she knew that she loved him and she would want him in her life always.It was funny to think that way about someone,people her age usually didn't. It was only now as she looked at him that she realized that she did. She wondered did he feel the same way. She didn't want to say anything as she was to scared.He was her best friend,Kate had never had a best friend,sure she had had her own group of friends but never a best friend,it was nice to have a person you knew you could tell anything to or trust them with anything. It was the same with Tara. she was glad she had decided to talk to Stefan that day on the bench,it was amazing how one little decision could change the whole course of your life lots of things wouldn't of happened in the last three years if she hadn't met Stefan.She was glad she had been stubborn and stuck with him even when he had been a complete @ss to her,Sara and Willow. She was glad that she always kept her mouth shut and didn't ask those questions where she had no place to ask. She wondered who did she deserve such a wonderful person,who she knew didn't think he was that much.She thought that was completely wrong,he was one of the most inspirational and best people she had met in her life though she didn't think he would believe her.She reached over and took his hand so they were basically holding hands.She liked where she was now,she felt safe and happy. She felt a smile appear on her face,when things got tough she would remember moments like this and she knew everything would be alright.

She watched as more students arrived in the courtyard.she was surprised when she realized it was much later on in the morning.Funny how when you were happy you didn't realize the time passing.She wondered what the two of them looked like in other people's eyes.It must of looked cute and Kate remembered when she was younger and seeing other people like this and wondering why would anyone want to do that. But now that she was currently doing it she understood why and she was glad she did.Kate was touched that he would actually do that for her. "Wow,thanks I would love that"She said smiling and just that thought would help her get to sleep,knowing that there was someone ready to help if needed. she would do the same for him if he had any problems,she would do anything for him. Her smile faded when she saw him close his eyes and breathe deeply,she moved back a small bit so the pressure wasn't as much,she bit her lip,she didn't like the fact that she accidently hurting him. She shook her head "Don't be"She said being more careful and remembered to make no sudden movements. After a few minutes she relaxed and just soaked up being with him. "I'd love to"She said smiling ,sitting up.It felt weird not having his arm around her but she wanted to go for the walk.

 

[Stefan Archer]

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<SIZE size="50">It wasn't like the Slytherin had ever really thought through what he did most of the time. He did whatever he thought would be best at the very time of doing them. It was why he'd never considered the possibility of people caring when he pushed them away in second year. And while he regretted the decision every single day he was able to breath in clean air. There were still times when he thought that it had been the right decision. Where he was sure had they not reacted in such a way thinking of the future for Stefan wouldn't be so difficult. Although without people by his side, he was pretty sure he wouldn't be there. It was why the few times he told Kate how much he owed her, he really wasn't kidding. Not even in the slightest. If it hadn't been for her, Sara and Willow keeping on pushing him to not push them away, he wouldn't have such close friends, he wouldn't have lasted as long. He was pretty positive of that. As much as he knew that if he didn't come back would make things even harder for his friends. It wasn't like he wanted it to ever happen, but the slytherin always thought of the worst in every situation. He hated what he was doing to his friends, the constant not really knowing what was going. The way no matter how hard he tried to keep a small distance, he felt the friendships grow. And grow was not what he wanted. Like how he felt towards Kate. He knew that she might not feel the same way, but he would miss her right to the bottom of his heart, but he really wished that she didn't feel the same way about him, del part of his did, the other part was desperate that he didn't so that he wouldn't have to worry about what would happen the term when he didn't return. He knew she would jump straight to the right conclusion, but he didn't want her doing anything. He couldn't exactly ask her to not, it would give too much away. Too much that he feared she would tell someone. He didn't want to admit to any of it either, after all, he didn't want to talk about how angry his dad was going to be when he got back. He didn't, and couldn't think about it. He didn't want that plaguing her mind either. After all, it was not pleasant. He looked down at kate, He was thankful for her being in his life. He was thankful that though she wanted to know, she stopped asking questions. She had just let him be. He'd tell her one day. If he got the chance. BUt he didn't know how to say it, how to admit to it. It was hard, way too hard to the point where the slytherin just didn't want to do it.

Knowing that he could help her, even in the slightest way possible was okay with him. It made him smile. It made him realize that maybe he was worth a little more. He could help her because he was her friend, and because she needed him. After all, the Slytherin didn't sleep that heavily, and he was so used to a lack of sleep that he knew how to manage a lot more than he wanted to know. It wasn't like he wasn't worried that he would need to. He would never know what to say, but being there, was part of being friends, and considering he hadn't always been the world's best friend, he figured he owed about as much to her. Which was why he would do it, every time she would maybe need him. When she moved suddenly it was a surprise, and he hadn't been ready, but as she told him not to apologize and he felt her shift slightly he felt terrible. Here she was going through some pretty heavy stuff, and his mind was only focused on himself. On his physical pain. He shook his head. Knowing that apologizing wasn't the right thing to do, but he still wanted attention shifted off him. He gave a small sigh and looked down at her. She was so beautiful to him. But as she began to stand up, stefan's side instantly felt cold. She managed to do it, with ease, causing him very little pain. And while most of his body was sighing in relief at the fact there was no more pressure on it, it felt weird, he wanted her there. More than anything in the world. He took a few seconds before slowly getting to his feet. He had to do it slowly, as everything began to hurt the moment he stood up. He kept himself bent for a few moments, breathing in and out as deeply as he could before able to straighten himself up. "sorry" Stefan muttered. Realising that it wasn't something most people like to see, especially since it wasn't just little amounts of pain the boy had been in. Once most had gone away he stepped towards Kate and smiled. A part of him felt like he should take her hand, and the other didn't know if she'd want to. He glanced down at his hands and then to her. Slowly, he raised his right hand, and removed the bandaging from it. Exposing the pretty bad cut on his hand, and several sore looking bruises, he felt his cheeks warm, but instead of hiding it, he walked to kate's left side and extended his hand to her. "You want to lead the way."
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[Kate Archer]

Kate wondered did most people have the feeling about someone where they would literally do anything for the said person.Like the song Grenade by Bruno Mars. Kate was sure should would do anything from the song for Stefan and maybe one or two other people.In a way it was a new feeling for Kate to feel this way towards someone who was not of your blood. It was unsettling in a way knowing that you would literally die for this person.Kate thought back to second year.It was a dark shadow over her life,things had happened that she wasn't proud of and it had made her grow up and see the world in a different light.She still wasn't sure why she had one what she had did. Why after three days had her body refused to take in food,it was a mystery to her and her parents.She had known why she had been so upset after Stefan's cold dismissal. It hadn't been until she had gone through one of hr darker moment that she had realized she had felt something special. she still didn't understand why he had done it in the first place or why he decided to stop. Maybe one say he would tell her along with the others things she hoped he would some day tell her. She didn't really notice the bruises anymore,they seemed part of him in a way.She wondered what he would like with out them it wouldn't of made much of a difference really because she looked at the person beneath.

Kate had to smile when he smiled,it seemed natural.Kate closed her tired eyes and just relaxed. She felt totally at peace here. She couldn't feel her usual head ache and her heart rate was at a normal speed.Even after she had shifted slightly she was still just as comfortable but more careful. She didn't want to cause him pain or anything of the sorts.She smiled as he looked down at her but stood up wanting to take a walk. It felt weird not having him by her side and Kate rubbed her arms feeling cold for a moment. shaking her head she turned back and waited for Stefan.She bit her lip as she watched him slowly stand up. she couldn't imagine being like that all the time.She rolled her eyes,there was no need to apologize,she didn't know why he kept doing it,but she had started to say sorry a lot more lately. "You don't have to be"She said smiling again as he came towards her. She watched as he unwrapped the bandage around his head. There was a nasty bruise on it and an equally nasty looking cut. She saw the color of his cheeks redden. Kate just smiled and took his hand when he offered."Lets go"She said before walking slowly towards the castle and then onto the lake enjoying the feeling of her hand in his.