What Hurts The Most?

[Scarlett Vittori]

Scarlet was currently sitting in one of the infirmary beds of the Hospital Wing in silence. She didn't know how much time passed. She didn't know how long she had been sitting alone. She didn't know when the tears stopped either. In fact she almost knew nothing. She felt almost nothing. The Hufflepuff knew that her situation was nothing compared to when she first started in Hogwarts. Back then, she was a babbling mess, a clumsy redhead with an overtly shy personality, and how she wished she could be that girl again. It was better than she was now. Incapable of feeling anything. She was just numb and dull. She wasn't even able to feel shy anymore, and instead of the usual pinkish hue her cheeks held, her complexion was pale. Her lips were chapped. Her eyes were puffy and red. She was a mess and she didn't care.

With all her time alone, Scarlet had been left to her own thoughts. She was exhausted. Utterly exhausted, and yet her mind refused to make her rest. Her thoughts kept lingering to what had transpired earlier. Every word clung to every fiber of her being. To what had caused the falling out of friendships she cherished so much. Blood status. Why wasn't she born a Pureblood? Why did they have to be Purebloods? But more than that, why couldn't they tell her? Why did she have to find out this way? Didn't they trust her enough with this? Or was it just as Giuliano said, they made friends with her out of pity. She laughed to herself bitterly, of course that was possible. Who would want to be friends with you? she thought to herself though a lone tear escaped her eye. And just like that, the silent waterworks started, even though she had thought that her tears were done for the day.
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[Jakobe Vittori]

Jakobe didn't know what to say. He just watched Scarlet cry. Hiding behind the open doors like a coward. He just couldn't face her, what would he say? He'd promised her a forever and now she couldn't have it. Honestly he just felt guilty. There was no room for any other emotions. There were a whole range of things that he should have or shouldn't have felt, but these were just not getting through. He knew this was all his fault and that he should do something to fix it, but he was just so afraid of her getting hurt. He looked away as the nurse walked in accompanying someone else. He supposed that he could have walked in there and sat by her, like he had initially been told to do, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. Truth be told, he rather liked just standing here. He could pretend that nothing had happened. He didn't have to think about the cliffs, or what had happened, why she might have been up there. Whatever her reason was, he had a sneaking suspicion that he wouldn't like it anyway, so why make it worse then it already was?

Jake peeked around the door again and sighed. She was still crying. He'd been standing behind the door for near on half an hour, but he'd yet to bring himself to see her. There were so many reasons why, though for all he was worth, they all seemed pointless right in this moment. Giuls had agreed with him though. The only way to keep her and himself safe was to just ignore her, because he didn't want her to end up like Emiko. That'd be horrible. In fact, she wouldn't end up like Emiko, he would, Scarlet would probably get worse and he just couldn't stand for that. He had to tell her, it was that simple. So with a heavy heart and a face that could rival Scarlet's own, Jake stepped out from behind the door and approached her bed. He stood at the foot and held his left arm slightly, in a comforting gesture. He really wasn't feeling good about any of this. "Scarlet. We need to talk."
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[Scarlett Vittori]

Scarlet Joussane used to hide in a shell. And she broke out of it. Though one couldn't exactly be proud of such an accomplishment. For she was now just an empty shell. A shell of what she used to be. And she didn't know why she felt this way. It was a lie to herself though. She knew exactly why this was happening to her. Though she couldn't blame him. She could never blame him. In fact, her exhausted mind was trying to understand him, but whatever reason she could come up with, it just made her feel more numb than before. Although, one thing she knew was that his betrayal was the one causing her the most pain right now. After all, he could've told her. She would understand. Or maybe she wouldn't, but she would force herself to and she would go with what he thought was right. Because that's how much she trusted him. Whatever Jakobe would tell her was best, Scarlet would follow.

The Hufflepuff never noticed when someone had entered, though she had seen the shuffling of a person who was walking towards her bed. The human was too small to be any of the nurses though, so she risked a peek. Standing there, at the foot of the infirmary bed was Jakobe Hitachiin. Scarlet should probably have felt a wave of emotions over his arrival. After all, wasn't he the reason she was like this was what her exhausted mind was telling her. But she, as a person, wouldn't acknowledge such a fact. And she wouldn't feel a thing about his arrival. There was no anger, no sadness, no joy, no shyness, no pain, though the waterworks refused to stop. They continued on, along with the dull throb of her heart, the absence of emotion from her face and herself and the lack of light in her eyes. She heard him speak. They needed to talk, and she knew that. But why now? Why couldn't it be months ago? Weeks ago? Yesterday? Or even a few hours ago? Why now? She remained silent though gave the smallest of nods as she stared at him blankly. She would hear him out, because even if her mind didn't want to, Scarlet always listened to Jakobe.
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[Jakobe Vittori]

Jakobe knew it was a mistake the moment he stepped into the room. It was too late now. He was just going to have to press on. He was confused that she didn't really seem to acknowledge him. He had felt certain that she would say something, anything to him. Maybe try to convince him that it was okay and he didn't have to avoid her, that she would be his friend always, that she would support him. But she said none of these things and Jake didn't know how to feel about that. So instead he ignored it. He buckled down and prepared for the worst, because he now knew what he had to say. He should have said it weeks ago, months ago, years ago. They never should have met, he never should have come here. Now that he was here though he was determined to see his education out and if that meant he had to make some sacrifices, then so be it. Jake did not move to sit on the bed, as he had originally intended to do. Instead he leaned into the frame slightly, clearing his throat and looking at the still crying Hufflepuff before him. The sight of her pulled at his heart strings and he almost couldn't say it. But he did it anyway, he just had to.

"We can't be friends anymore." The words seemed overly harsh in his ears and he supposed that in a way, they really were. He and Scarlet and even Giuliano had been inseparable from the first day and it was hard to think about the days ahead that he would have without Scarlet. Though he would still have Giuliano, it wasn't the same. "I know I should have told you sooner...should have... made you listen... might have made a difference for you." He said, scratching his arm and looking away from her. It was hard to see her cry, even whilst he was saying these things. He was trying to make himself stop caring, but that was not working. "D-don't look for me anymore. Don't ask Giuliano about me... it's... it's complicated," was she even going to believe him? Did he believe himself? "find those other ones. The boys from before... make friends." It was getting harder and harder to find something else to say. He was trying to make it seem like he just got bored with her, but even he could tell he wasn't exactly the best actor in the world. He was certainly winning no awards. "We can't be friends. I don't want to be friends, don't talk to me."​

 

[Scarlett Vittori]

Scarlet knew what was to come. With the seriousness present in Jakobe's voice when he approach her, how could she not. However, she remained silent. And as he spoke, she hung on to every word. Surprisingly, that's when her tears ceased. She was exhausted. Physically, mentally and emotionally. And this was the final straw. While she expected that she would be bursting through tears, she wasn't. They stopped, though the pain was there, ever-growing and never leaving. She suspected her body just didn't want to let Jake see her break down even more from what he was saying. She was broken, yes. He'd seen her tears, yes. But her body won't let him see what was left of her get shattered. Whether it was for her sake or his, she could never tell. But she remained silent, blankly staring at him until his words were done. He spoke English to her, not a single French word. And that was what told her that what they had was really over. That she couldn't have him back anymore. That the forever he promised her was not coming true. She knew from the start, but she chose to believe in him. And this was where it all led to. When all was silent for a few seconds, she had decided to speak.

"I was going to say sorry cause all I have been is a bother," she spoke softly, her tone hollow and empty. She couldn't fake any emotion in her eyes, she couldn't bring any expression to her face. All she could do was stare at him with her puffy red eyes that had long ceased to shed tears ever since her begun with his small talk. "Tell you I would change however you wanted me to," the redhead said as she remembered her determination from earlier. Her determination to make them see that she could change, that they could still be friends because she wouldn't be as troublesome as before. And she also remembered Giuliano's words. "But... I can't exactly change my blood can I?" she laughed shortly, though no emotion was present, but she felt like it was proper. Though there was no joy nor bitterness in the laugh, she knew she meant the laugh to chastise herself. "I'll be fine though," Scarlet said before staring at him, hoping that he would look her way. "I won't bother you or Giuliano anymore since he seems to hate me more than you," and though no emotion showed on her face because the pain overruled all, if one listened carefully, perhaps they could hear her sincerity. And with one final effort to get everything out of her chest, she forced a smile that could reach her ears but never her eyes. "I love you though, so I won't cry anymore," she said softly as she forced herself not to break down into sobs in front of him. As she forced herself to hide her shattered heart from the one who broke it down.
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[Jakobe Vittori]

Jakobe was most likely as numb as Scarlet looked right now. To be honest, he wasn't really sure what kind of reaction he was expecting. He certainly shouldn't have been terribly surprised right? He bit his lip to stop the tears that were threatening to fall. He couldn't cry. He just couldn't cry. She'd see it, she'd figure it out and then he'd never be able to not be her friend.This was the best for both of them. He knew that, but it was just so hard trying to convince himself of that, it was hard telling himself that they could't be friends anymore. He knew it was going to be a battle between himself and the right course of action. The point would be to figure out what that was. He still didn't know himself, but he needed to make sure that Scarlet was safe and that she wasn't in any danger.

As she spoke, Jakobe stood and listened. He at least owed her that much, to listen to what she was saying though he knew it would cut him deeply. What she said surprised him. How did she know about the blood status? He'd never told her that. The more she spoke, the tighter his grip became on his own arm until it began to hurt, but he refused to let go. This was his punishment, all of it. He didn't care what he did to relieve the pain of her loss. She was his best friend, of course a situation like this would be stressful. He knew that all too well. He just never thought to experience it. "Scar...I..." He trailed off because he knew he could say nothing in comfort to her. Even the fact that she had thought to be speaking to Giuliano when it was really his twin brother remained pressed deep inside Jake's head. He would not tell her. He just couldn't. It was easier to let her think they hated her, than the alternative. Jakobe turned to leave, rubbing his arm in the spot he had crushed. He thought she'd finished speaking, but she hadn't and the words she spoke were enough to stop Jake in his tracks.

Love. It was a word heard rarely in his household. A concept so foreign it may as well have been an alien organism of malicious intent. He didn't know what she would hope to achieve with that word, but he also didn't know how to respond to it. No-one had ever told him they loved him. It simply wasn't a term they used very much in their family. It wasn't used lightly and when it was used, there was always a hidden meaning, a hidden agenda. However he saw no agenda here. He immediately turned around to face her, his face beginning to crack as the first traces of tears ran freely down his face. If she wasn't going to show her emotion then so be it. Jake couldn't lie any more. "Don't, Scar." The use of her name spoke volumes in his heart as he was sure it would to her. "Don't love me. You can't love me." He shook his head and a tragic smile situated itself on his face. "Love doesn't exist." At least it didn't for him. He turned back around and headed for the door.
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[Scarlett Vittori]

Scarlet didn't know to expect. And honestly, she didn't know why her words came out as they did. She didn't know what her words meant. But it seemed as if it pained them both even more. He could see his tears. And she could feels hers. Though she refused to let hers be shown. She wouldn't make him feel worse as she had already did in the past few years they've been together. She made no move to tell him anything more. She made no move to make him stay. She told him she loved him and she didn't know what it meant, although the answer he gave her was probably the most painful one he had ever told her. And so, as soon as he had gone and she was left to herself, she let the tears fall, wondering when they would stop. And she couldn't help but utter a few words to herself that she supposed were her replies to Jakobe's earlier words. "I would have helped it if I could," she said softly though her thoughts said more. If I only knew how to unlove you, then I would, cause that's how much I love you Jake.

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