What am I to you? (Brian)

[Zazuka Getathorn]

Zazuka made sure that the party was in full swing and that she wasn't needed anymore to make people comfortable before slipping off to wait for Brian. She had so much to tell him. Bleak Street and before. There had been a though, not a big one but still large enough to make her think about it, that Brian was scared of her. It made her sad to think that the one that she was meant to care for the most was the one that she was putting through a lot. She sat on a window still and sighed softly. After her expirence in Bleak Street the cravings she had for Lotus got some what less but they where still there. She assumed that it would always be there in the back of her mind. It was just one more thing she had to learn to control.

She passed her hand over her felt purple dress and looked out at the castal grounds. There was something else too. She had submited her name to be in the Tri-Wizard tornament and she had been picked. She knew that Andy would be so happy for her but she didn't know how Brian would react. They didn't see each other as much as she hoped on a regular bases but she would be whole land masses away from him now. There was so much to think about in such a little space of time. Again she signed.

 

[Brian Getathorn XIX]

Brian had been talking with the first years spending time with Zazuka but it didn't take long for him to notice that she was missing. Brian had spent the summer thinking about Zazuka and wishing that he wasn't at another Lawyer training camp even though he had apparently done well since his parents wanted him to do an internship program at the law firm they worked at next summer. Brian was good at law but it didn't seem like something he wanted to do especially since it was far away from the magical world that he was apart of. Brian looked around and finally saw her in purple, he smiled as he walked up to her "There you are miss Prefect, I think I have a few questions for you" Brian said pleasantly as he wrapped his arms around her "like did you miss me?" Brian asked joyfully as he kissed her on the cheek.

"and... how was your summer" Brian asked with another smile as he kissed her again and looked into her eyes "and..." Brian said as he looked into her eyes and kissed her again reaching into his pocket to pull out a small box, Brian opened it to reveal a small silver ring with purple butterfly engravings on it. "And I know I'm not perfect and you don't have any real reason to accept this or continue dating me" Brian said as he looked into Zazuka's eyes "but not a day went by this summer that I didn't think about you or that I didn't miss you" Brian said as smiled and placed the top of his head on Zazuka's "I love you Zazuka Bones and I want to marry you one day, so I was wondering if you would accept this promise ring?" Brian asked not sure what Zazuka's answer might be as nervous feelings began filling his stomach.

 

[Brian Getathorn XIX]

Zazuka felt herself being swooped up even though Brian wasn't taking her anywhere. She always felt a little floaty when it came to Brian. He kissed her cheek and Zazuka smiled wide. "I missed you more than I can tell you." She said honestly. She always missed Brian when they where apart like this. "Did you think of me while we where apart?" She asked then looked down. "I had an insensate in Bleak Street but other than that my summer was great. Tell me about your summer." She added to the end. She knew that Brian was yanked out of the Wizarding world when he went home but she still wanted to know.

It was as if she where watching a movie afterwords. All she could think was that this was not happening to her. It was too perfect, too scripted, too much like something that happened to other girls but not to her. This kind of thing didn't happen to Zazuka Bones. She was always the one who said I love you but was never sure that it was felt back for her.

Zazuka looked at Brian with wide eyes. The dream kiss from the shadow that had saved in Bleak Street came to her mind then pushed it out of her mind. There was no reason for her to be stuck on that because it had been an illusion. Zazuka took the ring in her hands then wrapped her arms around his neck. "I love you B. I really do." She whispered before pressing her lips against his. Zazuka blushed softly then looked down. "I have been chosen to go to the Tri-Wizard Tournament."

---

Brian was a bit stunned by the announcement that she was going to the Tri-Wizard Tournament but continued smiling, "That's great news" Brian said excitedly, "Do you think you'll be chosen as Hogwarts Champion?" very interested but also wishing that the tournament was held at Hogwarts once more they could all see. "Just promise me you'll enjoy France" Brian said as he kissed her once more "I know I've made you wait for me and there isn't a good reason for that" Brian whispered into Zazuka's ear as he held her close, "But I want you to know that I'm going to wait for you, because your more then worth the wait" Brian said as he leaned in and kissed Zazuka on the cheek and then on the lips. There was alot on Brian's mind but he knew that he would not dare ruin the moment so instead watched his words carefully.

"So when do you leave?" Brian asked feeling a bit awkward that he was asking such a question considering the school year had only just begun. "I'm sorry that's stupid" Brian said with a slight frown, Brian looked at her and felt like part of his heart was being tugged away. Brian didn't want Zazuka to leave just when they had gotten back together but he also didn't want to make her feel guilty just because she had been granted an opportunity that rarely happened to her. "Come on, let's go look at the stars" Brian said with a smile as he took her hand and began walking towards the lawns, it may have been late but Brian was sure he and Zazuka could use there Prefect Status to get out of any trouble that may or may not come their way.

 

[Brian Getathorn XIX]

Zazuka felt the waves of emotion coming from Brian. She could tell that he was truly happy for her. She smiled. "I will try my best. It's a wonderful chance." She said softly. She kissed him back every time he kissed her but the last one made her hold on to Brian a little tighter. Zazuka had felt Brian's absence more than she cared to say she had. She wanted to say that she had been paitiont and caring but in truth the separation had hurt her. For what she had been sober for anyway. "Did you notice anything about me last year?" She asked though she still hadn't let go of him.

Zazuka laughed into her finger tips. "It's fine. I should be going in two days. We have to days to play around with." She said shaking her head. Her heart was braking a bit to think that she would be leaving Brian almost as soon as she got with him. On impulse she looked at him, noticing that the stars seemed to be reflecting in his eyes even though they where not outside, then pulled him to her. "I can stargaze right here." She said before pressing a very light but very charged kiss. Zazuka helf back her emotions, she knew this about her self and accepted it but this was one time she wanted to show what she was feeling.

---

"I noticed that I wasn't there for you even though I knew you needed me" Brian said as he looked into her eyes and frowned "I love you Z but our relationship seemed to always depended on you needing me so that when we were in a good state it didn't feel right to me" Brian said looking down towards the ground "I needed to see if our relationship could survive without that" Brian said feeling bad for saying what had been in his head for a long time. "I know it wasn't right but it was the only way I could be sure our relationship could survive anything, It was the only way I could know if I was really in love with you or not or if you were really in love with me" Brian said as he turned towards her and frowned once more "I'm sorry, I couldn't keep that from you because you've always been nothing but honest with me...you've always been the perfect girlfriend even when I wasn't the perfect boyfriend" Brian said feeling even more bad about everything.

"We've just been through alot together, but now I know that even though your going to France we can survive it. We're both made of tougher stuff" Brian said with a slight smirk even though he wasn't sure that Zazuka would forgive him or not, he hadn't been around when she needed him and even though that was difficult for him it was something he had to do not just for them but for himself and for herself as individuals. Brian had to know if Zazuka would be okay with him and Brian also believed that Zazuka needed to know that for herself, perhaps it was one of the reason that made her want to go to France this year. "I'd understand if you wanted to go to France just to get away from me you know" Brian said as he looked back into her eyes "But I want you to know I do love you"

 

[Brian Getathorn XIX]

Zazuka burned. She had once told Andy that she felt that Brian saw her she was a flower that needed to be protected and sheltered and that she didn't want that. It looked like Brian had seen that and wanted to make sure that she was mean to be a flower she would be a Bouncing Bulb that could pretty much take care of herself. She looked into his eyes and placed her hand on his cheek. "And there are still people that wonder why we belong together." She said adding some humor to the situation. She didn't like to see Brian frown like that it made his face look wrong to her. That wasn't an insult either.

Brian hadn't been there when to help her through her Lotus addiction, no one really had been. Jon had helped a little but she had been the one responsibility for medicating herself against it afterwords. Zazuka knew that she could take care of herself and still be with someone. She knew this now. "I love you too B. Please don't feel bad. You where just... Being a Ravenclaw." She said her full sunshine smile coming back. She took her other hand and put the ring on her finger. It held the promise that one day, maybe if fate allowed, they could start a life together. She could always try to peak at how it would be like but then it would take the fun out of finding out.

---

"Whatever the reason it still wasn't right" Brian said as he leaned in and kissed Zazuka once more on the lips though he felt strangely intoxicated by being around her. Brian took Zazuka's hand as they headed towards the lake where they had spent many days together and sat down under one of the trees. It was cold out yet for some reason Brian felt unusually warm as he looked at Zazuka, just as he had when he had first kissed her a few years ago. Brian placed a hand on the back of her head as he leaned in and began kissing her with more gusto then he had before. "Your beautiful, you know that right?" Brian whispered as he began kissing her neck, "I honestly don't know how I got to be so lucky to have you in my life" Brian said honestly considering everything that had happened.

Besides Quidditch Brian didn't think he had anything really going on for him in his life, his parents definitely didn't understand him and his grandfather had been nothing but a lie from what he had known. Zazuka Bones on the other hand had always been there for him and would always be there. Brian had his doubts last year and had indeed felt butterflies and electricity between Zazuka and Andromeda but the truth was he had changed his fate and was glad that he did so. "I will always love you" Brian said as he looked into her starry eyes and smiled Brian didn't know why he felt such strong feelings towards Zazuka and not towards anyone else but he did know that she felt the same way towards him and that nobody would even replace the other. Brian leaned in and began kissing Zazuka once more as his hand moved towards Zazuka's lower back and he tighten his hold on her in order to bring warmth but also just so that they could be closer.

 

[Brian Getathorn XIX]

There was music in her head as they shared another kiss. She had known Brian since the first year, she had watched him grow and had always loved him. He had been part of her new world that did not include her own pain or sacrifice. There where things that would never be normal about her but they where things that she had to learn to control. She looked up at him when they parted and smiled dramyly. She felt as if she should say something so he wouldn't feel bad about leaving her alone any more when he kissed her again. This time the music got stronger. This was when she realized that this was the rhythm of her heart. Would he be able to hear it? She wrapped her fingers in his hair and leaned her head in as if to keep what he was doing to herself.

Selfish she knew but then she was allowed a bit of selfishness sometimes. "Lucky is what I am to have someone like you to love me." She whispered as she ran a hand down his chest then molded her body against his. She had known for a while now that he had gotten some non-platonic feelings for Andy but also knew that those would change. The warmth she felt from his touch was turning into heat though she knew that the moment she took off the purple coat she had on the winter cold would sear her skin. She deepened their kiss a little, slowly letting the heat she was feeling transmit into Brian.

---

Brian removed his jacket as he continued to kiss Zazuka completely amazed with who she was and everything she had put up with, at times she seemed even stronger then he was and that didn't surprise him. "I don't know how you can put up with me sometime" Brian said as he continued to kiss her more fervently but always returning to her eyes as he couldn't help but look into them. "Why do you love me so much?" Brian found himself asking without really knowing why, he had never really been all that confident in himself off the Quidditch pitch and even there he sometimes felt that it was only luck that got him through his matches. Something however had made Zazuka fall in love with him even before he saw her the way he should've always. Brian was nothing special and Zazuka was more then amazing it was really strange that he could have someone so great even though he knew he had hurt her.

"Why do you have so much faith in me, in us when..." Brian couldn't bring himself to say it, Zazuka was truly the glue that held their relationship together when Brian himself would've ripped them apart. "I don't know who I am but I know I want to know you" Brian said in all honesty as he leaned in and kissed her with more passion as his hands began traveling of their own accord Brian parted his lips once more as he went back to looking at her eyes, Brian felt something that he could only describe as out of control hormones as he moved his hands back into place keeping them from going where Zazuka might not be ready to go. "You said you had trouble in Bleak Street, what happened?" Brian found himself asking in an attempt to keep himself under control even though he didn't know how much control he had left as his body was definitely wanting something more.

 

[Brian Getathorn XIX]

Zazuka let out a breathy laugh through kisses. "I would say that I used have a list of what I loved about you but now like not enough. I could write books about you and still have things to write about. You where one of the first people to show me kindness. I never forgot it and I never will." She said wrapping her arms around his neck. She didn't want him to part from her. Her body wanted something that she had only read about. She thought that she needed to be older for that kind of thing but there was a part of her that wanted it now. To her being with Brian was more than physical as she had seen some of the relationships in school be based on.

That wasn't to say physical things where beyond the young Seer. "You know me Brian. You know my history, you know my mind and how it sometimes works in riddles because of the nature of my gift, you know how odd I am and yet your here. She felt the urgency in his kiss now. This was not good for a girl sixteen who barely knew how to control her own mind let alone her own body. She followed suit until Brian moved away. This was when she felt that her cheeks where bright red. His hands had left trails of fire on through her winter clothes though they where thicker than what she usually wore. She breathed deeply a few times to regain herself. "Yea, yeah. I ran into the being that lives as a spirit in Bleak Street. It something like we battled." She said scratching the back of her neck. She didn't want Brian to worry about her but then she didn't want him to be completely oblivious to what happened to her.

---

"The spirit of Bleak Street is just a rumor though" Brian said having heard the rumors of something terrible that lived not only in the Borely Mansion but also now appeared in the dark magic street, Brian had never been down Bleak Street himself since he didn't really have a reason to do so but he also found it a bit strange that Zazuka would go there. Brian looked at her and smiled weakly "It's kinda chilly out here, you want to go somewhere a bit warmer?" Brian asked as he quickly got up and grabbed his jacket covering himself up as he took Zazuka's hand. He didn't want to go back up to the castle just yet but didn't really know where else they could go until he thought about it "Let's go to the Quidditch Pitch, the locker room is warmer but also more private" Brian said feeling a bit weird at suggesting it but not weird at all.

"What made you go to Bleak Street?" Brian finally confessed as he began walking towards the warmth that was the Quidditch Pitch, holding Zazuka's hand tightly with his own. It was strange how little he knew of her summer considering his own had been relatively uneventful like most of his summers. "Did Andromeda go with you?" Brian asked remembering that Andromeda had inherited a shop down there from her stepfather. Brian didn't want to ruin the moment by being so inquisitive but he also didn't want to let it go since it was worrying to know that Zazuka had been in serious trouble last summer while he was somewhere else learning theories on muggle laws. Brian couldn't help but wonder if this was somehow his fault considering how he had left her the previous school year without knowing just how much she meant to him.

 

[Brian Getathorn XIX]

Zazuka laced her fingers and drew closer to Brian. "The first time I went there because something was calling to me. The second because what I had taken back with me had started to take over my senses. Brian the thing in Bleak Street is not a rumor. I saw it, I felt it and it nearly killed everything that makes me, me. Something happened that I can't explain afterwords. B this is what I deal with all the time. Sometimes the visions are good, they are really good but sometimes the visions are so bad I can't sleep. Last year it got so bad that I tried to make it go away with a potion that nearly ended up killing me." Zazuka saw the Quidditch locker room and sighed. She remembered the games she want to decked out in blue and bronze and giving the cheer leaders a run for their money. She was always her loudest when she was cheering for Brian.

Zazuka turned to Brian as they got hear door of the locker room in relative warmth. "No I didn't go there with anybody. I had to deal with what was haunting me on my own." She said. Practically on her own anyway. The shadow had been there and later on Jon had been there. He had gotten damaged by the thing in Bleak Street which made Zazuka feel so guilty because he had stayed for her. "B..." She said as she let go his hands then ran her's up his chest. She knew that Quidditch players had to be kept in shape but just how much could only be told by touching. It was solid rock that she was running her hands over. Doing so made her mouth run dry and her lips ache for his kiss. Zazuka made her hands raise to cup his face though. "Promise me whatever happens you will never fear me." She said biting her lip. This was what she what had been on her mind. That she had pushed Brian away from her somehow.

"Zazuka, I could never stop loving you and I could never be afraid of you" Brian said as he brushed his hand over her hair leaned in and kissed her feeling the same heat he had felt before when they were outside but now they were alot warmer since they were inside where a fire was burning in the center of the locker room. Brian had once again had to feel what Zazuka had been through without him but she was a strong person and didn't need Brian to protect her and that made him happy. "I'm sorry" Brian said as he looked into the stars that made up her eyes "I just wish you weren't going all the way to France" Brian said as he quickly rolled his eyes "I didn't mean that, well not like that" Brian said feeling like an idiot as he quickly tried to regain himself but heart was pounding harder then the hardest drum and so it was kinda difficult.

"I just don't like the fact that we will be far apart for so long and that your going to be..." Brian didn't finish it. He didn't want to say 'alone' because he knew that she was never truly alone, Brian just wanted to love her as much as she loved him and he wasn't sure how he could. Brian felt nervous as beads of sweat began to appear on his face and suddenly he wasn't looking at his girlfriend that he'd known for years, he was looking at a woman that was strong and independent and was more then just beautiful. Brian himself felt a bit inadequate standing in her presence considering he had never had to face the challenges she had in her life. "We only have two days left" Brian said as he placed his hand over the buttons of her jacket and began to unfastened them "If it's okay with you, I'd like to make them count" Brian said as he looked into her beautiful eyes without a smile but instead with seriousness and concentration that reminded him of searching for the golden snitch.

---

The fire was them. Zazuka could fell it as there lips meet again and her hold tightened on the back of his head. She listened as he got sort of tongue tied. She couldn't help but start laughing. She had never really done that to a guy before. She had confused them with her cryptics but she had never left them with half thoughts. It made her feel special. She knew she was but most of the time she felt cursed instead of gifted. "I know what you mean." She breathed rather than said. She her voice had gone dreamyer than it usually was.

She nodded looking back at Brian her eyes nearly sliver with stars that she could see reflected in Brian's earthen orbs. "Smile for me B." She whispered before she because to bush her lips up his neck. The music was back but this time his heart was accompanied by her own. It was beating only for him. Zazuka slinked her arms into his open jacket even though there was no trace of cold left in the room they where in.