Wasn't Cut Out For This

[Mervyn Strangewayes]

Set July 2051

Mervyn stared at the child on the kitchen table. The pale-haired child smiled back at him, swinging her feet. She seemed a lot more at ease about their current situation than he was, in spite of the fact it was her life that had just been turned on its head. Oh, God. Leda was due back any minute. What was he going to tell her? What were they going to do? Maybe he could hide her. No, that was silly. Could he take her back? Did he want to take her back? He started to pace. The girl's smile faltered only slightly. She seemed more curious than troubled. What was he going to do??

 

[Leda Layton]

Leda did not like this whole shopping malarky. Olive apparently enthused at the prospect of shopping, but it was not something Leda did because it was fun. They were wizards for crying out loud, why could they just apparate food inside the house? She thrust her key into the lock, kicking open the wooden door with one foot and managed to get herself and the two bags into the hallway, before moving through and dumping them in the kitchen. "Thanks for the help," she said sarcastically, only now glancing up to see Mervyn looking at another creature in their house. "What is that?" she said, nervously glancing between him and the blonde.​

 

[Mervyn Strangewayes]

Mervyn said nothing, chewing his thumbnail, waiting for Leda to notice. What was he going to do? Money wasn't tight, but they had no income at present, and Mervyn didn't feel comfortable sponging off Leda's inheritence for his own food, let alone food for two. The child was still smiling, her eyebrows raised slightly, as if she was waiting for Mervyn to speak. But he couldn't. "Not here." He took Leda by the wrist and dragged her out into the hall, closing the kitchen door behind him. His thumb went back to his mouth for a few seconds before he managed to speak again. "Me dad 'ad an affair," he said, in lowered tones. "This woman, she came knockin' while you were out. Said I 'ad to let 'er in cos it was urgent. I mean, she 'ad the kid wiv 'er. I couldn't just leave them on the doorstep. Says she's an old family friend - knew me dad at school, or summink. Everyfin' she said, it all checked out. Names, dates - she weren't lyin'. Anyway, she 'ad this kid - 'is of course. Me dad told 'er to 'ush it up. Said it would ruin 'im, destroy 'is family. She's been raisin' 'er on 'er own, but... she ain't well. Jesus, I couldn't turn 'er away, Leda. She told the kid she was goin' to stay with 'er brother for a while. She ain't got a clue. I don't know what to do. I can't do this. I can't raise a kid. I can't."

Godmod approved

 

[Leda Layton]

Leda could've sworn Mervyn probably just pick some random kid out and off the street. She looked nothing like her best friend and was looking at them with wide innocent eyes as though waiting for them to do something. She let Mervyn drag her out of the room, listening impatiently as he tried to explain what had happened. Some random woman just shows up, and now he was expected to look after her? "Right.." It was a lot to take in, and the blonde had to just stare at him with her eyebrows raised as she tried to think of something to say. "If your dad knows about it then why don't you firstly, ask him. What if that old woman is just trying to dump her kid on you? If that's a lie then Merlin knows who could come after you." They'd moved away to start fresh, not to have the authorities knocking on their doorstep. "And well, if that's true. I guess you don't really have a choice but to raise her," Leda shrugged, crossing her arms over her chest. It was far from ideal but what, they were meant to just send his half-sister away to live with some strangers instead? "That being said. You have a long way to go." she stated, suddenly moving one hand and lightly (for Leda's standards) thwacking him over the head, "step one. Don't leave a toddler sat on the edge of high surface." She moved past Mervyn and back into the kitchen, staring at the girl who had thankfully not slipped off the table, although a glare to her brother suggested that that would have been easily done. "Do you have a name?" she asked her, eyeing the blonde suspiciously. ​

 

[Mervyn Strangewayes]

Mervyn wasn't sure how he'd expected Leda to react, but it wasn't like this. Was he the only person panicking? He couldn't raise a two-year-old! He was still a child himself, barely eighteen. He had no job, no prospects, no money of his own. And he knew nothing about babies. He was still digesting what Leda had said when she suddenly opened the kitchen door. "Nonono," he said, attempting to catch her by the sleeve. But she had already marched right in. Mervyn followed nervously. The child looked quite content to be sat on the table. She had on a colourful patchwork dress and white knee-high socks. "Eluned," said Mervyn, when she didn't answer. "'She don't look nothin' like me." He suddenly felt sick. "This is mad. I can't do this. I just can't." Turning around, he headed back out the door and up to his room. There he sat on his bed with his face in his hands. Never mind the fact he couldn't raise a child - he didn't want to. He'd never planned on being a parent. He just wasn't the kind of person who could give his life up for somebody else. He couldn't do it.

 

[Leda Layton]

Leda could help but think of what Olive's reaction to finding out that she had to bring up Leda was, and a wave of guilt washed over her as she realised she'd never actually asked. Olive was only twelve when their parents had left her with her older sister who was no doubt going through her own struggles. She watched Mervyn head out of the room which really was not very Gryffindor-y of him at all, he was better than that, although maybe the shock of it all was just too much at the moment. She turned to look back at Eluned who was just staring. She seemed to do that a lot. She sort of wished Wendall and Lysander were here, they'd both been good at helping baby sit Ten when she was over. What would they have done? Stuck her in front of a TV probably or tried to distract her, although Leda didn't really have a whole lot she could distract her with. Ultimately, Leda had picked her up off the table and placed her on the floor in front of the couch in the living room, placing a few pillows around her so she wouldn't be inclined to wander off. They only had a small TV but Wendall always seemed to manage, and so she flicked it on to a random show that seemed to have something about birds on it, before darting up the stairs to find Mervyn.​

​

"Merv?" Leda was knocking on his bedroom door, not wanting to go in if he didn't want her there. "This isn't ideal, heck what in the last few years has been, Mervyn please listen to me." She thought about all those times at school when she'd ended up turning to him, well now it was her turn to look out for him too. "You're so much more capable than you think, if this is about whether or not this is something you can do, well, I have no doubts." She knew it was probably more complicated than that, Mervyn still wasn't sure what he wanted to do let alone be faced with things he had very little control over. "Merv, you can do anything." Honestly right now she was just talking at the door, but she hoped he could hear her.​

 

[Mervyn Strangewayes]

Mervyn heard Leda moving around in the living room, but he couldn't bring himself to go back downstairs. He was thinking of how best to contact his dad. Eluned was his child, his consequence, his responsibility. But her mother was right. The revelation of his infidelity would tear yet another rift in the family, divide the remaining Strangewayes further still. And Eluned would be in the middle of it all, suffering for the poor decisions of the very people who were supposed to keep her safe. What would Mervyn have done, if he'd been in her mother's shoes? Could he really blame her for wanting to give Eluned the best chance of a happy childhood?

He found himself thinking of Olive. He wondered if she'd resented taking care of Leda, or if it had come naturally to her. In either case, she must have given up everything to shoulder a responsibility that was never hers to carry. But Leda had needed her. And Eluned needed Mervyn. She had no-one else.

And then there was his grandfather. He had taken Mervyn in without hesitation when he'd needed a place to stay. Merlin knew he wasn't easy to live with, but his grandfather had never made a fuss. He had welcomed him warmly and cared for him even when they'd had to scrape by.

Mervyn was still sitting on his bed when Leda knocked on the door. He closed his eyes, suppressing the urge to cry. Maybe she was right. However little he had to give Eluned, it was far more than his dad could ever give her. And he had Leda. Though she hadn't said it, somehow Mervyn knew she would stand by him through it all. But could he give up everything for a child he'd never planned for? Could he be as selfless as Olive and his grandfather?

If only they were here now. They would have known what to do.

Slowly, Mervyn stood up and opened the door. "I can't take her to me dad's," he said, choking up. "Leda, will you help me?"

 

[Leda Layton]

Leda knew how complicated Mervyn's family was, how he'd been living with his grandfather and how after his death, Mervyn had even spent time homeless to avoid going back to his parents. She didn't hear too much coming from Mervyn's room and for a moment wondered if he had fallen asleep. The door suddenly opened though and she looked across to the brunet who looked as though he had either been crying or was about to cry. She felt for him, she really did. Maybe she'd been a bit blind to it in the past, not given him enough of the attention he deserved to go through what he had, and after everything he'd been there with her, there was just another chapter to their story. She nodded when he stated that he couldn't take Eluned to his dads. Leda didn't know the specifics but she didn't really need to. She trusted what he said, he knew the ins and out of his relations. She was almost surprised when he asked her if she would help him. Did he really think that after renting a house together, and having his support to look after Wendall after the death of her sister, she was really going to have Mervyn do this all by himself? Of course not, he'd be lost without her. He was capable of course, but when had either of them ever done something without the other? "Well duh," she smiled, moving to wrap her arms around his shoulders. Or at least, that was what she thought she'd been doing. In reality however as her arms crossed behind Mervyn's head, her body moving closer towards him to give him a hug, she found that she was at full facing angle and she kissed him hard. This stupid boy was her family, he'd have to be crazy to even consider that she wouldn't have helped him. Then again.. ​

 

[Mervyn Strangewayes]

Mervyn's choked sound of relief was silenced by Leda's lips suddenly on his. He kissed her back, though he knew as he did so that he was only doing it out of obligation, because you were supposed to enjoy kissing someone you loved. And he did love Leda. Didn't he? If the enjoyment of kissing someone was indicative of how much you loved them, then Mervyn didn't love Leda very much at all.

After a second he broke away and buried his face in her shoulder. He couldn't do it. It was like Sapphire all over again. He had gone along with it all for a while, hoping that he might eventually feel the fireworks everybody raved on about so much, but he'd never so much as felt a spark. The months he'd spent in the house with Leda were some of the best of his entire life, and he would have gladly stayed with her there for the rest of it, but he would never enjoy kissing her. "Sorry."

 

[Leda Layton]

Of all the people Leda had kissed, she would have assumed that one of them would have stood out above the others, although really they'd all been pretty.. similar. It was the only way she could think to describe it. Mervyn had even kissed her in their third year and it wasn't unlike it was now, a bit awkward, but that's what most people did wasn't it when they wanted to feel close to someone? Perhaps it would take a little practise. Leda hadn't had a boyfriend, nor girlfriend before, and really the idea of it was a bit strange to her too, it wasn't like she needed anyone. She was perfectly good by herself, but with that surely came the experience too. She pulled away, not really sure what Mervyn was going to say but she didn't think "Sorry" would have been it. What was he sorry for? Doubting her? She still hugged him back though, sighing at the reality of their situation. "Maybe, it's a new chance. A new project." She felt like she was comparing a paper mache model to bringing up a human being but the point still stood. ​

 

[Mervyn Strangewayes]

Mervyn decided it was easier not to elaborate. Maybe it was just a friendly kiss, anyway. Maybe they would just forget about it, the same way they'd forgotten about the kiss on the Quidditch pitch. After a moment he pulled away from the hug and wiped his face on his sleeve. "Yeah," he said. Then he remembered that there was a two-year-old waiting for him downstairs and panic threatened to overwhelm him again. "Still think this is mad. 'Oo drops off a sprog with someone they've never met?" He pulled a scrap of paper from his pocket. "She did give me 'er address. I'll go down there tonight, talk about it properly. And... I'll talk to me dad." The thought made him queasy, but what choice did he have? "She said it was his idea - and that don't surprise me. 'E knows I wouldn't do nuffin' to upset 'is family." He looked Leda in the eyes. "Thank you. I don't know what I'd do without you. Bloody 'ell, that's corny. But it's true. I love you." Whether as a friend or something else, he wasn't sure any more. But love was love, and if he could be sure of nothing else, he loved Leda to his very core.