Voice of Reason

[Blake Zepline]

It had now officially been three weeks and five days since Lily had broken up with him; and Blake was still a terrible wreck. To summarise things simply; Lily had taken his pride and heart with her the day that she left him; and he had barely even begun to pick himself up since. All he wanted to do right now was to pound Ford senseless – he had never disliked anyone as much as he did now; and all the hatred that had replaced the long lost happiness, overwhelmed him as much as it did blind him.
Of the two most important people in Blake’s life; Ford had stolen one. And even though Lily had left him of her own accord, all the blame fell squarely on Ford’s shoulders in Blake’s eyes. If he, Ford, hadn’t returned to school ever; Lily would surely still be by Blake's side. At this point, Blake could be deemed a madman, as he had considered the many different ways to torture a person; the most satisfying ones involving no magic at all, but rather an assortment of muggle tools that rendered the victim suffering in the form of sport; obsessive and without mercy.
But even though the images of Ford screaming and writhing in pain gave him more pleasure than even Quidditch now (which was saying a lot for Blake), the sensible side of him, or whatever was left, knew it wasn’t healthy to obsess over torturing someone so horrifically; even if they did deserve it. Sighing deeply, Blake pushed his hands deeper into his pockets, his footfalls heavy with the burden of his constantly aching chest. Where he was headed, he hadn’t decided. But it didn’t matter to him; he could walk off the cliff and not give a damn about it – not that he would ever consider resorting to that sort of cowardice.
As Blake let his mind wander, urging it away from wishing death upon Ford, he couldn’t help but fill his mind with Lily: the image of her the first day they had met at the Three Broomsticks; Lily wearing his school robes for one of the Halloween Balls; Lily the first time he saw her when he returned from Cloe’s captivity; in the Great Hall the night he had first told her he loved her and how she seemed to glow; all the Yule Balls he’d taken her to and how beautiful she always was; and most recently – the image of her entwined in a sea of blankets.
Blake hadn’t even noticed the tears rolling down his face; it seemed to be a constant occurrence, and he had gotten so used to it now that he barely even thought of it. He already looked like a mess, his eyes always red from lack of sleep and crying. He had even lost his appetite, having to mentally remind himself at least once a day that he had to eat something. But quite frankly, he didn’t care much for his appearance and what people thought of him now. Nothing could ever affect him the way things used to again; not when his whole world had already crashed around him. And then it dawned on him again; Lily was gone. She was no longer his, though he was certain his whole being and all that he was, would always and forever belong to her.

When the tears finally stopped, Blake felt rationality dawning on him, again. Despite his hatred for Ford, in truth, he could only blame himself. He had let Lily slip through his fingers. There was always something that could or should have been done that would have changed the outcome of events, and this was one of those things. He should have told her he loved her more frequently; or perhaps he shouldn’t have let her make the mistake of sleeping with him that night. Why had he caved? He should have known she would only regret it later, knowing her as well as he did, he should have seen it beforehand.
But he hadn’t. And now here he was, literally lost without her.

 

[Helena Zingini]

Helena was enjoying the spring weather, and even though it was still rather cold out, wrapped in a cloak and one of her light scarfs, she headed out of the castle. The grass was still wet with morning transpiration, and the sun was hidden somewhere behind the clouds. The holidays had been a bore with her mother and stepfather, as she missed her father dearly. But he had promised to write her the last they had spoken, and so she remained hopeful though slightly impatient.
The lake was one of her favorite places in Hogwarts, second only to the wilderness of the forbidden forest. Picking up a stone, Helena skipped it, smiling delightedly as she managed to make the thing jump thrice before it plummeted down, lost forever to her. Sighing, Helena thought of all her years at Hogwarts, and how she felt a complete stranger to her fellow students. She was, after all, a loner with perhaps less than a handful of friends. But it didn't matter. She found herself and the open lake before her good company.
Just then, Helena spotted a boy walking on the lakefront, tears running down his face, his hair ruffled and messy. Wow, she thought to herself, he looks like he could use a friend. Recognising him as one of the Slytherin prefects, she waited till he was within earshot of her before she spoke. "Rather chilly out, isn't it?"

 

[Blake Zepline]

Was it cold out? Blake had barely even noticed. He was not quite in the mood to talk to anyone, and though he did not want to, he stopped in his tracks and glanced at the girl who had spoken to him. She did not look familiar to him and so he figured she must be a transfer student. Out of politeness, Blake tried to smile and just nodded his head silently. He wasn't going to snap at someone who was trying to be nice to him, even if he did not want their company.

 

[Helena Zingini]

Helena suddenly felt bad. The boy probably wasn't looking for a friend right now, and even if he was, she was probably the last person he would even consider talking to. It was times like this that Helena wished she was the way she used to be at Hogwarts Scotland - cold and a snob. But then again, her father had opened her eyes into seeing that the world was not superficial like she had been taught by her mother. "Forget I asked," she said. Sighing, Helena bent down again to pick up another stone and lobbed it into the lake with a loud resounding thunk.

 

[Blake Zepline]

Blake couldn't help but chuckle for no reason at all, except that the girl seemed to regret having spoken to him. Feeling a small yet genuine smile form over his lips, Blake quickly wiped his face dry and picked up a rock of his own, skipping it across the lake.
Now that his attention was drawn away from thoughts of Lily, Blake realised that it was rather cold out this morning. "So..." Blake began, wondering how to start a conversation with someone he did not know. "I'm Blake Zepline."

 

[Helena Zingini]

Helena was surprised to find that the boy had not left, and was instead introducing himself to her. "Nice to meet you, Blake. I'm Helena Zingini," she said, returning a smile. She noticed that he looked different this year, having cropped his hair short over the summer. "Got tired of long hair I see," she said, running her fingers through her own hair. "I would cut mine short, if my mother would allow me."

 

[Blake Zepline]

Blake blushed as the girl who had introduced herself as Helena commented on his hair. He had been an emotional wrecked at the time when he had snipped his hair short, but it had been something he needed to do for himself. Running his hand through his hair, Blake smiled, "Yeah, feels lighter. Sometimes I do miss my long hair though."
Picking up another stone, Blake skipped it over the lake. "So Helena, what brings you out here this morning?"

 

[Helena Zingini]

"I like open spaces and nature," Helena replied simply, smiling as she gestured around them. "The castle and be a little too enclosing sometimes, so I come out early and just... think." There was a lot Helena had to think of, but probably not as much as Blake seemed to have. "Something eating at you?" she asked carefully, cocking her head to the side with a blank expression, trying to read the short haired boy beside her.
Turning back to the lake before them, Helena smiled. "This is one of my favorite views at Hogwarts." And just as she spoke, the sun came out from behind a cloud and danced along the reflection of the lake's surface. It was beautiful, and seemed to warm her from the inside.

 

[Blake Zepline]

Blake nodded in agreement. The castle was sometimes a little too crowded and cooped up, and he too sometimes came out to escape it for a breath of fresh air. When Helena asked him if there was something eating at him, Blake remained silent and stuffed his hands into his pocket. As she stared at him, even for the briefest moment, he got the impression that she could read him like an open book. He sudden felt like an ant under a microscope. "It's... a hard subject to talk or even think about."
As the sun hit the water's edge, Blake watched as light danced in wavy lines before him. It was an amazing sight, Helena had that right. But it reminded Blake of one of the first memories he had of Lily, out here at this very lake. Then, they had been on the edge of a crush and watching the sun set before them, together.
"She betrayed me... And broke my heart," Blake whispered, his voice still carrying in the silent morning. More tears ran free, only this time, he wasn't ashamed to be seen crying by this odd girl standing at his side. She stripped him of his defenses and yet she had the power to make him feel safe nevertheless.

 

[Helena Zingini]

Helena turned away from the sight as the light grew brighter, blinding. And as she fixed her gaze on Blake, she saw the tears glisten as they left wet track marks down his cheeks. She remained silent, knowing that there weren't any words in this world that could fully give or offer comfort. Instead, Helena decided to let Blake cry it out, let his emotions run free. She wouldn't judge him or think him weak, and hopefully he knew that. For their first encounter, Helena could already feel the beginning of a good friendship blossoming.

 

[Blake Zepline]

Blake had expected Helena to rush to his side and at least say something against the girl he cried over, if not pat his arm soothingly, and for a second he closed his eyes and prepared for the pity he was sure to receive. But nearly two minutes had passed, and the silence between them only grew. Blake realised then as tear after tear rolled down his cheek, that Helena was giving him the space he needed to get it all out, to let it all go. And that was just what he needed the most.
How could Lily have done this to him after all they had been through, after all he had done for her? He felt like he had not been enough for her, having played the fool. He had trusted her relentlessly, and this was how she repaid him, betraying him when he least expected it. He had done his best to beat down his insecurities when he had returned to find the rumors of Lily and Ford. But he should have listened to his instincts, he should have known better.
As the tears finally stopped flowing, Blake turned to Helena and smiled weakly. "Thank you," he said barely over a whisper. In a small yet not insignificant way, she had given him the will he needed to face things as they were. So Lily had betrayed him. He needed to stop feeling sorry himself, man up and get on with his life because sh1t always happened. And it was not the end of the world.

 

[Helena Zingini]

Helena smiled, "But I didn't do anything. I am only a witness to your tears." She wanted to ask him about this girl who had betrayed him, and she wanted to tell him that she thought whoever it was, was an idiot. But she held her tongue, knowing that his closer friends were better suited for that job. She was simply here to... well, she wasn't quite sure. Helena chortled softly, "I would say that it was my pleasure lending an ear, or giving you advice, except I haven't. So I honestly am speechless that you would be thanking me when all I have done is tell you my name and that you have nice hair."

 

[Blake Zepline]

Blake laughed at Helena, knowing she must be so confused by him right now. But for some reason she made him feel better, and that was to do solely with her presence. That at least deserved recognition and thanks, didn't it? "Well, you were here for me in some small measure, and Merlin knows I needed that."

 

[Helena Zingini]

Helena waved the thanks away, her cheeks flushing slightly. Blake was a gentleman, and he sure knew how to make a person smile. Whoever the girl was that betrayed him was sure to be sorry for letting him slip away now. "Well I'm heading back to the common room now. Only an hour before classes start. You going to stay here?"

 

[Blake Zepline]

"No, I think I should head back too," Blake replied, kicking dirt off his shoes. He needed to grab something to eat, feeling the acid churn in his stomach. But first he would head back to his dorm and feed Olwyn before he forgot again today. He still hadn't made up for his attitude towards her lately, and he needed to find the time to soon, lest she turn around and bite him one day. It was not her fault that she was constant reminder of Lily. And she looked so much like Isabeau that he knew he could not keep up his bitterness forever. "Come on, I'll walk you."

 

[Helena Zingini]

Helena fell into step at Blake's side and let the easy chatter of normal conversation take over as he walked her their house. She had made a new friend, but who would have thought it would be a boy? Helena could slowly feel something growing that she had never felt before... she was beginning to fall for the dark haired boy beside her.