Closed Unsteady Feet

[Odette Madison]

((Set after this lesson))
((Plot ID for mother's death by splinching: #30623834 ))

Odette had rushed from the great hall straight to the library, her hands shaking as she knocked on Maria's door. She knocked again, just in case she hadn't heart her the first time. She hated this, hated admitting defeat. She had been so determined to do well in that class against all odds, to ignore Harley's pitying stares and ace the exam in one go. But as she had stood there and had to try to apparate, she had known deep in her gut that she would forever be too scared to try it. Knowing what had happend to her mother, she knew that she wouldn't allow herself to apparate. The fear was too big, too real. What if something happened to her too? She kept imagining what her mother had looked like, though she was glad she hadn't actually seen it happen. "Maria?" She asked through the door. Then, she sighed in relief as it opened. She stepped inside and fell into Maria's arms, shaking slightly.

 

[Maria Madison]

The last thing Maria wanted to do was restrict Odette from doing anything she felt herself capable of, but it had been difficult to exercise restraint on that front when she heard Odette had signed up for Apparition lessons. If Odette felt that she was ready to begin learning to apparate she didn't want to take that confidence away, but Maria had serious worries. This seemed much too soon, and the possible effect the classes could have on Odette concerned her immensely. So Maria had quietly adjusted her schedule, setting aside the hour of the class itself and some time afterwards for paperwork, so her office would be empty if Odette needed her. It had been heartening that she didn't see Odette at all during the first lesson, but Maria knew the second class was when they began practical work, and that could be a dangerous time. The thought of Odette making a mistake because of nerves and splinching herself made Maria sick, and it was almost impossible to focus on the papers in front of her, occasional spikes of fear blurring Maria's vision whenever her thoughts drifted back to her foster daughter.

The sound of a knock at her door was both a relief and a heartbreak and Maria leaped to her feet at once, stomach twisting at how distressed Odette's voice sounded as she was approaching the door. She opened the door quickly, the sight of the anguish on Odette's face breaking her heart. "Oh no..." Maria said softly, both relieved to see that she at least wasn't physically hurt, and deeply worried by how upset she was. She caught Odette in a warm hug at once, rubbing the girl's back gently. "It's okay..." She said softly, unable to keep a small tremble out of her voice. "It's okay, you're okay, I've got you..." Maria murmured soothingly, nudging the door closed with her foot to give Odette privacy.

 

[Odette Madison]

There was still a part of Odette that was embarrassed by her own emotions, her own sadness. She knew what her own mother would have said. She would have told her to stop making a scene, to make sure she didn't cry and make her face all blotchy. But she knew Maria would never say something like that, and would actually respect her emotions and support her. She hugged her guardian close, feeling safer already. "It's so stupid." She muttered, unable to quite accept that her feelings may be reasonable. "I shouldn't be dumb about this... but I couldn't..." She shivered, noticing vaguely that the door was now closed. She hesitantly let go of Maria and wiped her eyes. "I'm sorry for barging in... you could have been with a student." It only now occurred to Odette, and she was glad she hadn't barged in on something private.

 

[Maria Madison]

Maria rubbed Odette's back soothingly as she listened, giving the girl a moment to collect herself. "It's alright..." She said, voice soft and reassuring. "It's not stupid. It's okay." She breathed. Maria released Odette when she pulled away, waving her wand to summon her tissue box quickly, offering it to the girl. She chuckled softly when Odette apologised, shaking her head. "I knew this might be a difficult time for you, I set this hour aside just in case." She said gently, and gestured to the seat so Odette could make herself comfortable. "My office is all yours."

 

[Odette Madison]

Odette wiped at her eyes a few time, just to make sure all her tears were gone. She trusted Maria a lot, but still hated crying in front of anyone. "It is stupid." She insisted weakly. "Everyone apparates everywhere all the time, just because it went wrong once..." She faltered, her voice shaking a little. "Or maybe I'm stupid for even trying." She then said softly. "You seemed to have known this would happen... maybe I should have known." She sighed and slumped down into a chair, covering her face with her hands for a moment. "What if I can never do this?" She asked, her words muffled by her hands.

 

[Maria Madison]

Maria shushed Odette gently, pulling up a chair and sitting next to her. "Not everyone has gone through what you have." She said gently. "It's normal for this to be difficult for you. It's okay." Maria stroked Odette's hair softly, staying close. "You were brave to try, but there's nothing wrong with not being ready. And if you're never ready, that'll be okay too. There are other options, like flooing and portkeys. You don't ever need to be ready to apparate if it doesn't feel right." She said softly, stroking the girl's head reassuringly. She wanted to reach out and hug Odette, reassure her that everything was okay, but knew she needed to give the girl space to collect herself.