Closed Unbelievable sights, Indescribable feeling

[Mary Lou Layton]

*Disney song lyrics seem to suit Mary Lou ridiculously well -_-

Mary Lou was... overwhelmed was not the right word for how she was feeling. When she'd first started to think about what being magical meant and what it would say about her connection to her father, she'd had high hopes. Sure, her parents had called her hurtful names and sent her thousands of miles across the ocean to her relatives in New Zealand, but she was sure they loved her even if they weren't around to tell her. Learning about her father from her Aunt and Uncle was going to be a beautiful and wondrous bonding experience and it was that promise that had kept her from feeling the pang of loneliness she got the moment she'd stepped off the plane in a new and unfamiliar country. But that, as it turned out, had been a silly dream. It was as if the moment her Aunt and Uncle had laid eyes on her, they decided that they wanted nothing to do with her. She knew they loved her of course, but they barely said two words to her the entire time she was with them and she had seven more years of that! Normally, Mary Lou was an optimist and she tried so hard to be happy about her new experiences, but, so far, nothing she had witnessed had been anything like the amazing things she'd thought it would be and all she had now was nightmares about a talking hat that could read her mind, dogs turning into people and broomsticks trying to throw her off. Princess Jasmine she was not. If that wasn't bad enough, and really, it was almost too much, Mary Lou had slowly come to the reality that she probably wasn't a real witch at all and that all of this was someone's idea of a cruel prank. Considering she couldn't even get her broom to jump into her hand or make the spells work. She probably didn't belong here at all. So, naturally, when she'd heard about a counsellor (she was pleased that not everything at this school was completely unfamiliar to her) she immediately wanted to ask for their help. She wasn't sure what the counsellors name was, or who they were, but if they were a counsellor she was sure they could help advise her in some way. She really hoped so. When she found the door at the back of the library, she knocked quickly on the door. She could only hope the woman would be able to tell her what she should do. Mary Lou wasn't prepared to face another embarrassing Transfiguration lesson.​

 

[Maria Madison]

A new year meant that for once, Maria was actually ahead on her paperwork, a feeling she didn't expect to enjoy for the rest of the year. She had rearranged her office slightly over the holiday, moving the tea station closer to the seating for her clients, so people could make themselves cups of tea any time they liked, and she had made sure to restock her biscuit supplies before school came back. With just about everything done, Maria was going through her list of returning clients from last year, making a list of owls to send out to students with their first appointments of the year, when she heard a knock on her door. Getting up, she crossed to the door and opened it with a warm smile. "Hi there, can I help you?" Maria asked gently, giving the girl a small smile. Sometimes people just knocked on her door out of curiosity, especially new students learning their way around the castle, so she liked to check if this was someone looking for help before welcoming them inside.

 

[Mary Lou Layton]

Mary Lou wasn't sure why, but the moment the door opened, she both wanted to cry and bottle all of her emotions up so tightly they'd never be loosened again. The woman had a nice smile and it made Mary Lou feel somewhat eased, but this was a situation she didn't know how to handle. For ten years of her life, she'd been a completely normal girl. There had been a couple of little inexplicable moments throughout that had made people raise an eyebrow, but for the most part, Mary Lou had been completely normal. Then one moment of anxiety had whisked all of it away. Her mother had thrown her on a plane to New Zealand and Mary Lou hadn't heard from her since. It was tough, but she was trying to remain positive. "Um..." Maybe this hadn't been the best idea in the world. She wasn't sure she knew how to tell this woman everything that was going on, and what if she told her she wasn't a real witch and the woman told the Headmistress and she was taken back to her Aunt and Uncle? Her mother would never have her back now and she would be forced to become a nun... probably. Then she wouldn't have to work on the farm. She really didn't want to work on the farm, it was too dirty. "I think... I don't know." She finally admitted. She'd been in such a rush to get here when she'd heard about the counsellor, she hadn't actually thought about what she might say, or how, or what she was even going to do. When it had just been a door, that was different, this was a person, probably a magical one. Maybe she wouldn't get it. Then, maybe she would? Mary Lou was so confused, she didn't know what to do. She didn't even realise she'd began to cry at some point until she suddenly felt the tears streaking down her face. "I... I need... I don't..." This was all too much.​

 

[Maria Madison]

Watching the girl's expression, it quickly became clear to Maria that this was someone who had come to her for help. Her face softened as the girl started to cry, and she quickly summoned a box of tissues, handing it to the girl and ushering her into the room. "It's okay." Maria said softly. "My name is Maria Madison, I'm the counsellor here at Hogwarts." She said gently, closing the door so they could speak privately. "Have a seat, let's talk about why you've come here today." Maria gave the girl a reassuring smile, gesturing to the seats scattered around the coffee table in the middle of her office and took a seat in her own chair, a quill beginning to take notes for her with a flick of her wand. "Before you say anything, I just need to tell you a little bit about how this works. My office is a safe place for you to say anything, confidentially. I take your privacy very seriously, anything said in this room will stay between the two of us. There are only two exceptions to that rule, in circumstances where you tell me that you're going to hurt yourself, or someone else. In that case, I'm legally obligated to inform your Head of House, so that appropriate measures can be taken to keep everyone safe." Maria said gently. "So let's start from the beginning. What's your name?" She asked softly, giving a reassuring smile. "And what's brought you here today?"

 

[Mary Lou Layton]

Mary Lou was too teary-eyed to realise that the box of tissues in front of her had not been there before, or she might not have had such a lax reaction to it. She pulled a tissues out and immediately folded into her hand as she was ushered further into the room and the door shut behind her. She sniffed into the tissue, determined to try and control her crying now that it had started, not that she was having a lot of success. For Mary Lou, water works were common, but they were not usually so hard to stop. She supposed it was different when it was real fear and upset, rather than the tiny sniffle she would put on in church when her father asked her to he a maiden in one of his stories, or participate in the local pageant. She found a chair and lowered herself softly into it. She wasn't usually one to wrap into herself, her mother would surely discipline her for that, but, for some reason, today, she felt the need to wrap her robes around her and lift her legs up beneath herself and make herself so much smaller than she really was, which was something, since she was already small. She looked up at Maria, dabbing her eyes as she made sure to give Mary Lou a run down on the rules of the counsellor's office, which, made sense to Mary Lou, they were the same everywhere she was sure. She'd only been to a counsellor once before as a small child when she'd thought she'd seen a ghost. Not much had come of that incident. The woman kept smiling, and through her tears Mary Lou could see that she seemed very kind. "My... I'm Mary Lou... uh, on my birth certificate my name... my name is Welcome, but... I prefer Mary Lou." She started, taking deep breaths to try and calm herself enough to talk about what had brought her here. "I'm," she didn't really now how to say it any other way than to just tell her. "I'm scared."​

 

[Maria Madison]

Maria listened quietly as the girl introduced herself as Mary Lou, the quill and parchment hovering by her head scribbling down notes for her so Maria could focus on their meeting. She gave a sympathetic nod when Mary Lou said she was scared, trying to think through the best way to approach this situation. "Can you tell me what's scaring you?" She asked gently, not wanting to lead Mary Lou at all. Maria could think of a dozen things that could be scaring her... new roommates, leaving family behind, just about anything at all that happened in Defense Against the Dark Arts, but she knew it was better to simply listen and let the girl tell the story on her own terms.

 

[Mary Lou Layton]

Mary Lou sniffed before she sighed. "Magic," she said, finally. This was all so new to her and so much of it was terrifying, but, the common thread of all of it, was magic. The source of all of it. Her anxiety, her fear, her heritage, ghosts, goblins, classes, talking portraits. None of it was how she imagined. Little fairies dancing on toadstools, everyone in pretty Cinderella dresses. And yes, whilst she realised the things she had thought magic would be were all from books and movies, it was all she'd had. But all of this magic seemed far more like the magic she'd always been told to be weary off, in her father's sermons they taught to beware the darkness and everything here was so dark. Whilst she didn't necessarily believe the Devil had taken her to a horrible place, she couldn't see how this place was safe. Flying on broom sticks, children shooting spells at each other, snapping plants (she'd seen something called a Devil's Snare in her one of the books in the Library and if that wasn't a sign she didn't know what was.) "It... I don't want to get hurt." She finished. She was horrified at the thought of going home to her Aunt and Uncle and them pulling her out of school because she clearly couldn't handle it. Even if she was convinced she wasn't a really witch, she wasn't ready to leave just yet. As much as it scared her, the loneliness at home was so much worse.​

 

[Maria Madison]

Maria nodded quietly as she listened, the quill hovering by her scratching down notes. Though it was clear Mary Lou was finding it difficult to actually articulate how she felt, this was a fear Maria was very familiar with. It wasn't uncommon at all for new students at Hogwarts, especially muggleborns with no prior exposure to magic, to find it all a bit overwhelming at first. "Can you tell me what you're worried is going to hurt you?" She asked gently, wanting to give the quiet girl space to express herself before stepping in with her own input.

 

[Mary Lou Layton]

*Ugh, I apologise for this. Life!

Could she tell Miss Maria what she was worried was going to hurt her? "Everything?" She asked quietly, the sniffling becoming more of a calm after thought now that she had some time and space to breath. She dabbed at her face again, sure she was all blotchy from crying but so far uninclined to fix her looks at all. She wasn't distraught as she had been only moments earlier, managing very slowly to bring her reactions under control now that her mild panic was out of the way. She wasn't usually one to allow this kind of thing to get to her, though, she supposed this kind of thing was not at all normal for her. Because of that she was willing to allow her break of face, as long as she managed to keep herself in check that was. "I... don't have the tools," she admitted, finding it difficult to think about what it was she actually needed. She couldn't easily describe her emotions, even though she'd always thought of herself as fairly articulate in that area, this was something she was having an incredibly hard time with. "I didn't know about... any of this until last year... my mother sent me away."​

 

[Maria Madison]

((No worries, I've been super absent oops))

Maria knew it was hard for children to find the words to express what they were feeling, but she didn't want to put words in Mary-Lou's mouth either. She listened patiently until the girl was finally able to express the core of what was scaring her, nodding sympathetically. "That definitely sounds scary." Maria said gently. "Finding out that magic is real and leaving your home all at once is a lot of change to process, especially at your age." She adjusted how she was sitting a little, choosing her next question carefully. "You said you were afraid magic was going to hurt you, has something happened in one of your lessons that you felt was dangerous, or has one of your classmates been threatening you?" She asked softly.

 

[Mary Lou Layton]

Mary Lou was feeling better having had the chance to calm down - maybe it was the effect of the lady across the room, or perhaps she was seeing through her mini-breakdown, but either way, she was seeing much more clearly than she had only moments ago. She quickly shook her head when she was asked if she felt like she was in danger from anyone specific. "No... not really. I did fall off my broom in class and the spells seem like they could cause someone problems if they aren't careful but..." she had to assume the Professors would have things in place for that. "It just seems like no one really cares about me," she said softly shaking her head. "That there's nothing to really protect me. If I practised something outside of class, anything could happen. When I was getting my wand another one nearly blinded me because the light was so bright," she remembered the stinging she'd felt behind her eyes and another wand which had felt like it was going to burn her hand.​

 

[Maria Madison]

Maria nodded as she listened to Mary-Lou, face softening in sympathy. "I see." She said softly. "That's definitely a scary way to be introduced to magic." She said, tone gentle as she chose her words carefully. "You're not wrong that magic can be dangerous. It'd be silly to think anything else. But the fact that you know it's dangerous means that you can be trusted to practice magic safely. Being aware of the dangers gives you the foresight to take precautions and avoid reckless decisions." She smiled slightly. "And it's not true that nobody cares about you. Hogwarts is a big school, and it's easy to feel lost in such a busy place, but there are people who care, and want to look after you. I'm one of them, and your Head of House is another. You can always talk to him if you need a bit more help, or any of your other professors. If you're worried about practicing a spell you could also ask an older student to help you, your house prefects will always be there to look after you." Maria smiled warmly. "I know it's a scary prospect to ask for help when you need it, but you've already taken a big step by talking to me. I think you're ready to take some more steps, by trusting yourself to be careful when you're casting spells, and by reaching out for help with magic when you need it." Maria smiled. "Everyone was a first year once upon a time, and we're all still here. If we can learn these spells safely, so can you."

 

[Mary Lou Layton]

Mary Lou felt a lot better about this than she thought she would. She'd had a hard first few weeks in the school, culminating in her being here today, but she hoped the rest of her year would get better. She watched Miss Maria as she spoke, she could understand what the words were, even if she found them a little bit hard to process. Mary Lou was scared that something would happen to her, and that no one would care enough at home to make sure she was okay. Her Ma had sent her away to live with relatives she didn't know who barely acknowledged her existence and then she was sent to live at a school full of people who she knew nothing about and be surrounded by dangers at every turn. It was going to take some getting used to, and Mary Lou had to resign to the fact that she would never feel comfortable here. She just wished that there would be magic here like the magic in her books. The ones where plants grew wherever she walked and little stars fell from the sky whenever she looked up. The harsh reality was something she would have to get used to it seemed. "Everyone in my class could do the spells except me," she said, taking a deep breath. She would need to come and talk to Maria a bit more, she thought, since this was all a bit much for now. "Thank you for talking to me, Miss Maria... I think I have a class soon," she said, feeling a little better even though they hadn't covered much. It would be nice to keep up with these talks too, she thought, since she really could use someone to help talk her through these things.​