Closed Trepidatious First Steps

[Miran Kemp]

Miran didn't know what he was doing, exactly. He knew his father had died when he was very young; but he also knew that he was the result of a married mans affair. His mother had never hidden anything from him, having shared most of her life with him. It had been just the two of them as he grew up, and it had never been easy. She'd worked long hours at a bad job, leaving Miran to raise himself. He loved his mother, but he had spent his life alone because of her mistakes and general lack of backbone. It had been her shame that had kept him from meeting his half siblings, her shame that had kept him in another city entirely. He'd tried to respect her boundaries, her feelings, but now... now she was gone.

Miran had been struggling with her death for months. He had no one left in the world, nothing but his training as a healer. He'd thought about it for a while now, and he'd finally come to the decision that he wanted to approach the mother of his siblings. He wanted to meet them, to have something in his life, but he wanted her permission first. He'd done a little bit of digging, and found out where she lived.

He felt a little bit like a creep, but he waited for her oldest son- Basil, his Quidditch playing older brother- he waited for Basil to leave the house before approaching. With his heart in his throat, Miran raised his hand, knocking twice before shoving his hands in his pockets. He swallowed hard, fear and anxiety knotting together in the pit of his stomach as he tried to go over what he wanted to say to Martine.

 

[Martine Kinnek]

Martine couldn't help but smile at where her life. Things with Tara, with Casper was getting better. And she was so happy to be able to help fix some of the mistakes and make it up to them. Of course there was still a lot of healing to do, and her family wasn't yet complete, but it felt better, she felt better about it. Love was pouring out of her to each of her children in a way that she knew would never cease. She had so many plans, so many ideas to get to know them, to spend time with them, but she had to reign it in. The woman had just watched Basil go to his job when someone knocked on the door.

Martine was confused in part because none of her kids needed to knock to get in. She went to the door and opened, being greeted by a young man, older than her Casper but younger than Basil. He looked like her husband, and the memories she'd long let go of rushed back. She couldn't judge her late husband for his mistakes, knowing all of hers and they had gotten over the hurddle that had likely resulted in this boy but she couldn't judge anyone for that. "Hi...," she started. she did think this boy looked like her late husband but she could just be wrong and this boy was entirely unrelated. ​

 

[Miran Kemp]

Miran wasn't ready for this. He tried to be, but was there ever really a way to be ready for something like this? He jumped out of his skin as she answered the door, wide-eyed and just hoping he didn't look as terrified as he felt. "Hello," He squeaked, then cleared his throat and tried again, shutting his eyes and taking a deep breath. "I- I mean, hello," He managed, his voice steadier. He could feel his heart pounding, like it was going to burst from his chest at any moment. "Are you Martine?" He asked, rubbing the back of his neck. "I- I'm sorry to intrude, erm- you don't know me, um, my name is- is Miran Kemp, and I-" He took a deep breath, trying to will himself to stop shaking. "I... I'm-" His voice shook and he tried to calm himself down. "Gods, I'm sorry. I'm- really nervous. I... I am your husbands son," He finally forced himself to say, looking away guiltily. "I know you have every reason to hate me- I understand, really, I just- could I have five minutes of your time? Please?" He pleaded with her, looking back up to her, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears.

 

[Martine Kinnek]

This boy...man...confirmed what Martine had figured about him. She nodded her head and let him speak, seeing how nervous he was. She spotted that he was looking at her with tears in his eyes and she just reached out and gently took his face in her hands. "You look just like him," there was no part of Martine's tone that was negative, "I cannot hate you Miran, you are only the product of what happened, you played no part in it," she let go of his face, and opened the door. "Please come inside, do you want some tea, or coffee?" ​

 

[Miran Kemp]

Miran's eyes widened as she caught his face in her hands, and he couldn't help but blush. He swallowed nervously. He hesitated as she invited him inside, but slowly stepped forward, nodding. "Please?" He asked gently, wringing his hands, waiting for her to lead him into her home. He went over everything in his head, not wanting to mess this up.

 

[Martine Kinnek]

Martine guided him to the table and then with a wave of her hand, hot drinks started brewing. She joined him at the table and gave a little smile. "What can I do for you Miran?" she started. "If it is to find your father then I unfortunately have some bad news," Martine wasn't sure what Miran would want, what he was looking for, but unfortunately for him, if he was looking for his father, then he was more than a little late. ​

 

[Miran Kemp]

Miran sat down as she indicated he could, shifting a bit nervously in his seat. His eyes widened. "Oh, no, I- I know that," He reassured her quickly, before realizing he couldn't keep stalling. He let out a ragged sigh, his shoulders slumping. "I... I lost my mother, too... last year," He admitted, wringing his hands in his lap and staring at them intently. "It... it was always just us, she... she couldn't face the shame of what had happened with... with your husband," His voice cracked and he cleared his throat. "I... I just can't..." He sighed, his eyes brimming with tears. "I've felt... lost, I... I don't have anyone else, I- I thought maybe- maybe I could... meet the others?" He offered weakly. "But I- I didn't want... to hurt you," He finally managed, a tear slipping out. "I didn't... want to just walk in and- and be a reminder of what he'd done," He looked away, feeling very small and fragile in that moment. Miran felt like he'd been on his own for a long time, and he still feared she would throw him from her home.

 

[Martine Kinnek]

Martine nodded and watched him release a breath and then speak. At several times she wanted to interrupt and wanted to contradict something but she didn't. Instead she just let him say what he needed to and then when he finished she reached out a hand to him. "It's sounds like you've had a really rough go of it," Martine spoke soft, considering each word that she said. "Of course you can meet them. I have four children, and I'll be honest with you, life has not been kind to my family, so I know where all but one is," Martine told him with a little smile, she didn't think it was worth getting into it unless he asked. "Do you need a place to stay?" she then offered, knowing how difficult it could be to be alone in this world. "I have the space?" she just wanted to be there for him. He was not her son, but he was her late husband's son, and it would be wrong of her to turn him away or say no. ​

 

[Miran Kemp]

Miran took a deep breath, trying his best not to cry. He held his hands tightly in his lap, so tightly the knuckles turned white. He swallowed hard, knowing he was shaking but trying his best to keep himself in control. He wanted to ask her about her children, ask her what had happened, but he felt... afraid of whatever her answer might be. Like somehow it would impossibly be his fault. He was startled when she suddenly offered him a room, and he looked up, wide eyed and stammering. "What? I- I couldn't- I- I wouldn't want to impose," He stammered, blushing. He couldn't help it, the tears spilt over and his face crumbled. He buried his head in his hands, shaking his head quickly. "I'm sorry," he whispered, taking deep breaths and struggling to pull himself together.

 

[Martine Kinnek]

Martine wasn't too surprised about how he reacted to her words. She knew that the return of her children and knowing that she had a place to be with them was hard. so in a time of trouble to be offered a hand to the family that they were not connected to, she could only imagine how it might feel. She reached out to him as he broke down in tears, placing a hand upon his shoulder, and not more to allow him more space. "We're family Miran, you have a place with us, with your brothers, your sister," she told him, with a soft tone. "You are as welcome in this family as you chose to be, with no imposition caused," she replied. ​

 

[Miran Kemp]

Miran was struggling not to fall apart, shaking and trembling. "You're too kind," He whispered, unthinkingly leaning in and resting his head on her shoulder. "Are you sure it would really be alright?" He managed, his voice shaky. "Your son- he- stays here, doesn't he?" He asked softly, wrapping his arms tightly around himself. "Would he mind?"

 

[Martine Kinnek]

Martine gave a little shake of her head, "I know what it's like when life is a little unkind," she replied softly, as if to say her kindness was to counteract the unkindness of life. "My eldest lives here, my second eldest, he comes and goes," Martine replied and just then shook her head. "I promise you Miran, they, he will not mind. They'll get it. We're a family of broken pieces, we've always got space for more," she assured him. It would be up to him to finally decide what he wanted to do but she'd be there whatever he needed.​

 

[Miran Kemp]

Miran considered her words, feeling vulnerable. "I... alright," He finally agreed, sitting up and giving her a nervous smile. "But- only if you're sure." He took a deep breath. "Just to be clear... this isn't why I came here..." He bit his lip, looking guilty. "I didn't come here for charity, to guilt you into anything..." He peeked up at her through his hair. "Just... to keep everything clear... I'm losing mother's apartment next month... I was set up for a meeting with the hospital about accommodations, but... I haven't..." He sighed, looking away. "It's all just been so much..."

 

[Martine Kinnek]

Martine gave a nod, so that he knew she was sure. Really, Martine hadn't expected him to want charity, but he just seemed like someone who maybe just needed someone to extend a hand and give them a little help. ”Miran, you don't have to explain anything to me, it's okay.” Martine said. ”When I lost your father, it tore me apart, he was sick for a while, and I'd just had a baby, and I just…broke down,” she told him. So he knew that she had been there in a loss and the hurt and how hard it could be to move forward. ”I made some bad choices that I can't take back, but I'm making amends now…moving forward. This can be your home for as long as you want it to be, and even after, you'll always have a home with me. We're family and we stick together,” ​

 

[Miran Kemp]

Miran had felt like he was on the verge of breaking down since before she'd even opened the door, but as she continued to speak, her words proved to be too much. He stammered a moment before just crumbling in his seat, crying and broken. He buried his face in his hands, trying in vein to pull himself together, hiccupping and shaking as sobs wracked his body. He whispered a broken apology, still struggling to pull himself together.

 

[Martine Kinnek]

Martine was a little surprised to see Miran break down. She wanted to immediately wrap him in her arms, but she wasn't sure if she should. Martine reached out slowly, placing a hand on his shoulder, hoping to provide him with some comfort, and tried to ssh his words. But she wanted to just hug him and hug him close. Wanting to protect him from the cruel world and keep him here with her and the family. ”You're okay, Miran,” she muttered softly. ​

 

[Miran Kemp]

Miran turned slightly and collapsed against Martine, a broken mess. For a long while, he was curled against her. Eventually, though, he managed to pull himself together. He pulled away, looking bashful. "I'm sorry," He apologized softly, rubbing his sleeves over his face and ducking his head, hiding behind his long hair. "I didn't mean to- I wasn't expecting-" He sighed, feeling ashamed for the way he had fallen apart.

 

[Martine Kinnek]

Martine just held him, let him cry and pull himself together when he could. There was no impatience for her, she knew how difficult it could be to be together in the face of kindness. She just shook her head at him and then gave a little smile. ”Do you want to help me make some lunch,” Martine asked, she thought doing something together would enable him to feel a little more together. ”And when Basil is back, from work, you and him can get your stuff and bring it here?” ​

 

[Miran Kemp]

Miran swallowed hard, nodding and scooting his chair back. He pushed up onto his feet, holding out his hands to help Martine up. "I like to think I'm a pretty good cook," He offered, his voice shaky. "I... thank you. For everything," He gave her a shy, weak smile. He didn't know what he'd been expecting when he came here, but it hadn't been this.

 

[Martine Kinnek]

Martine was glad when he took her hand, and he seemed to follow her. ”Good, that's good, because I swing between managing and being terrible,” she replied with a warmth in a tone as well as lightly joking with him about it. ”You're welcome, it's not a bother,” she replied, but was showing him to the kitchen so that they could just get started on making things for lunch. ​