The Rose That Wilts

[Estrella Drage]

So this was it. In just a few hours, all of the students would be called in for the End of the Year Feast. The last End of the Year Feast. Estrella had been waiting for this moment since the beginning of seventh year, to be free from the painful and brazen hell that consisted of her NEWT studies. The exams were over and her fate was sealed. Now that the hours were ticking away, she was digging her heels into the ground, struggling against the unmerciful behemoth that most referred to as time.

Seven years. This place had been her home for the greater part of a decade, and now she was being cast into the unknown. Seven years of prepping for the great wide world, and the soon-to-be-former Head Girl didn't feel the least bit ready. She had packed up her things for the final time, and wouldn't be returning with them come September. There was the dilemma of where to set her possessions. They called the school home as much as she did. When she got off the train, there would be no one waiting for her. Should she get an apartment in New Zealand, stay with a family member? Go back to the States and try to get a job there? Then there was the issue of her future. She had no real plans, had not applied for anything. She'd always wanted to come back to school and teach, but she didn't think there were any open positions at the school. Who in their right mind would hire an eighteen year old, anyway? She would love to be with Jaken, and hoped that there was something for them in the foreseeable future. Yet, he wanted to be an auror, and she didn't want to be a burden on his career path. All of the what ifs and could've dones gave her a solid headache.

She needed to go somewhere where she could truly relax, where she would hopefully not be bothered. Where to spend your last hours at a place you never wanted to leave? There were many options. Her feet carried her to the only viable spot at Hogwarts New Zealand where she would feel at peace, where she would be able to pick at her brain without it exploding all over heck.

The Rosebush had grown over the six years it had been here. It was neatly trimmed, becoming even more beautiful with each set of new students. Surely they had seen the plant near the lake's edge; did they know who it was tribute too? Rose's face was fuzzy in even Estrella's memory, her voice distant and difficult to recall. Had she dreamed of the girl's presence in her first year? The seventh year Ravenclaw felt guilt- guilt for the fact that she had let her studies, relationships and the drama that swept at life swallow up her few memories of her first best friend like an unwielding and rancid sponge.

Smoothing down her robes, she plopped down next to the plant, admiring the flowers. Even into autumn, they refused to wilt. She hugged her knees to her chest and tried to conjure the face of a young Ravenclaw gone too soon.

 

[Rose Landers]

Rose glided across the lawn toward the rosebush that served as her memorial. This day served as a particularly sad day as this would have been her graduation day. Rose in her infinite boredom, had decided to spend her time in the library and keep up with her living peers in education Why not better myself? I have noting better to do. Time had no real meaning to Rose anymore, but as she felt the excitement of graduation in the castle pulsing through each stone, she could no longer deny the depression that had been threatening her. Somewhere in the last years, she had succumbed to lonliness and forced her to forget about all her living friends and family who had moved on without her; all that is, except for Estrella.

Estrella had been the one who hadn't forgotten her; the one who had created the beautiful tribute to Rose. Estrella had been her best friend in life and remained the only person in death that Rose still cared for.

Once Rose had realized what this day was and had gotten over her initial sadness at not being a part of the ceremonies, she had gone down to the Great Hall. When she couldn't find Estrella, she checked the Ravenclaw Common Room; her old common room. She still had been unable to find Estrella. As a last chance, Rose had thought that perhaps Estrella would be down by the lakefront.

Now as she drew nearer she saw a figure next to the rosebush. The lone figure stood still and seemed to be lost in deep thoughts. As Rose became closer she could see the face knew it was in fact Estrella; but not the Estrella she remembered from years ago. The child Estrella was gone and in her place stood a woman. Rose stopped and not for the first time wondered what kind of woman she herself would have become. Pausing only long enough for a chilly breeze to sweep across the ground that still divided them, Rose smiled. It was a smile of pride for her best friend, a smile of happiness for a reunion, and finally a smile of hidden sadness. This was Estrellas last day at Hogwarts and that meant no more chance run-ins. Rose bit back her feelings of loss and glided forward.

When she came upon Estrella she didn't speak as she lowered her wispy, weightless form to the ground next to her best friend. Finally, unsure if Estrella knew she was there, Rose spoke. "Congratulations, Estrella. I always knew you would do well." She knew as she said it, that what she said was lame, but Rose didn't know how else to start off a conversation whose end was never seeing Estrella again.

 

[Estrella Drage]

That's it, I've gone batty. Estrella might as well be thrown into St. Mungo's after she stepped off the train. Might be easier than having to deal with everything she hadn't sorted out yet. Hearing voices was not a good sign, especially if the voice belonged to your best friend that had been dead for over half a decade. She willed herself not to look up, knowing that she would be crushed if some sadistic higher power was playing tricks.

Despite her attempts to keep her eyes on the ground, she found them wandering upward, to where the voice had come from. At first, she didn't see anything. Disappointed, she turned her head in frustration. It was then that she saw something at the sides of her vision- something was off. When she squinted, she thought she could see a very faint outline.

Estrella pinched herself not once, but three times, going through a series of squeezing her eyelids together and opening them again before she realized that the pain was very, very real and so was what she was seeing. Her mouth gaping just a bit, she murmured quietly, "Thank you, Rose. I didn't know you were still at the school." Please, Merlin, let this not be a dream. Here she was, next to the girl who should've received a diploma with her a few days ago, who should've put her name in the goblet of fire, who should've had some crazy memories with her friends, who should've sat OWLs and NEWTs with the rest of her peers. For some reason, fate didn't want her to do these things. Rose was forever a first year. Estrella was afraid to blink; she didn't want to lose who she was seeing, even if Rose was a figment of cruel imagination. She gave what was the ghost of an old friend a small smile.

 

[Rose Landers]

Rose watched Estrella and smiled. It had been so long since Rose had strayed from the shadows of the castle that she had almost forgotten that light made it difficult for her to be seen. When Estrella finally spoke, Rose's smile fell and she looked down. Yes, I'm here forever. Rose opened her mouth, the paused and smiled again. With deliberate forced cheerfulness, Rose spoke, "Yeah, I guess it's pretty cool that I get to live at the castle forever." But not so cool that I'll have to watch people graduate and leave every year [i/] Rose thought but didn't add. "Did I hear right that you were head girl?" Rose had been in the library when a few third years had walked in and mentioned that Estrella had been made head girl.

 

[Estrella Drage]

Estrella was pleased when Rose spoke back to her. She had been expecting her not too. The eighteen year old stared at her friend, her eyes wide. How could she have forgotten what Rose looked like? She thought she had a picture or two from first year in her photo album- a photo album that was now collecting dust. It was something she would have to dig out when she got to wherever she was going tonight.

"Yeah," Estrella said a bit sheepishly, tugging at the badge pinned to her chest. "Since the beginning of sixth year. Not for much longer though..." She looked to Rose with a hint of woe in her expression, wondering if the ghost of her friend knew what today was. The brunette realized that she was abandoning yet another friend. "Where have you been hiding out all these years? I was starting to think I'd just dreamed of you, that one day." Did Rose remember their last meeting? Even that memory had dissolved and distorted.

 

[Rose Landers]

At mention of their last meeting, Rose was rushed back in time to the very spot where they now sat, only years ago. It had been the last time they had spoken. Her face fell slightly as she was pulled further into the past and the extended time she had been forced to stay trapped in the Borley Mansion. It had been worth it to her to see her friend freed and safe, but the horrors that Rose had faced within the haunted walls of the Mansion was a nightmare that took a year to wake up from.

Rose shuddered and then looked at Estrella smiling again, "I've been in the library. It's weird because when I was-" Rose paused and make a sound as if to clear her throat "when I was alive I liked to read for fun; but these last few years I have been reading as an escape. It sounds strange, I know, but I wanted to keep up with you and all the other people who I should have been graduating with this year. So, I've listened when other students studied in the library and I just learned what they did." If blushing were possible for a ghost, Rose's face would have matched the hue of her name. Gone were the days of adventures and exploration of the castle that she and Estrella shared in Rose's abrupt life. She wondered wistfully if Estrella had had many adventures and if her own interest in books seemed small to Estrella. "Have you been to the End of the Year ceremony yet and your....." Rose's voice faltered and she added in a softer tone "..graduation?"

 

[Estrella Drage]

Her smile melting into a tiny frown as Rose's expression changed, Estrella knew that something she had said triggered something unpleasant in the ghost. The Ravenclaw would try to talk around any sensitive subjects. Loosening the grip she held around her legs, she grinned. "Not too strange. What kind of a Ravenclaw would you be if you didn't read?" She chuckled softly, knowing very well that most of her house adhered to the old stereotype. And although Rose hadn't physically grown up at the school, it was comforting to know that she had grown up in learning with them. "What's your favorite subject?" she asked curiously, not remembering what classes her friend had enjoyed back in the day.

Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, she responded, "We technically graduated a few days ago. There was a ceremony and everything, and we already have our diplomas." It was a bit disconcerting that they were going to be flung into a world with little more than a diploma and a few pivotal test marks. "The End of Year Feast is today." Her lip twisted a bit as she looked back to Rose. This was the last time she would see her friend, if she didn't return to Hogwarts to teach. She hoped that Rose would be able to attend the ceremony, but she would understand if she didn't want to go.

 

[Rose Landers]

Rose smiled and nodded. "I'm sorry I missed the graduation ceremony. I had actually hoped to watch it." Of course there will be more in the years to come she thought but didn't say. "I may come to the End of the Year Feast if you thought it wouldn't be a problem." She paused for a moment, then said, "I think History of Magic is my favorite. Because although I've learned about Charms, I've never actually been able to perform any of them." She smiled sadly for a moment. A breeze whipped through the lawn between them and the lake and Rose closed her eyes and smiled. In those moments she could feel again and almost felt like she did before she died. Suddenly, she felt her mood lift and decided that she should enjoy her time with her best and only friend while she was still with her. There would be plenty of time to mourn the loss of her friend once she left the castle.

Rose's voice had changed to a happier tone and had a lightness to it as she spoke next. "So, tell me about your life." She smiled with sincere anticipation, feeling as though she could possibly live vicariously through her friend.