The Mirror has two faces and neither one you love

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

Andromeda left the sanctuary of her dorm, silently walking through the common room. A few students greeted her but she walked right by. In her hand was Grim, the dog that Zuka had animated for her. At the top of the stairs stood some more students so Andy walked further down the seventh floor corridor until she came to one of the many window seats. The portrait of Lord Flapnam stared at her, asking her to move along preferring his view not to be obstructed than to have to look at a silly girl.

Andy ignored him and sat on the window seat, Grim on her lap licking her fingers as her other hand stroked him gently. This was enough contact for her to deal with. She looked out of the window able to see the quidditch pitch in the distance. Her fingers came up to trace an outline on the window, if she could have shed a tear for the loss of who she was she would have but there just didn't seem to be anything remotely with any emotion left within her.

There was one thing she knew she had left to do, so far she had managed to avoid him but she couldn't any longer. She could not drag out the inevitable. Her heart constricted and Andy bristled. No emotion, no heart, no fear of reprisals. She would simply do it and get it over with. How difficult would breaking up with Carlisle be?

 

[Carlisle Moonlight]

Carlisle was walking.. just walking. The lawns, the lakefront, the corridors.. he walked it all. Why? well... maybe it was all because he was just idly relaxing and thinking. though he suspected that part of his subconscious mind was searching for Andy.. whom he had not seen for far too long. This troubled Carlisle greatly.. Was she avoiding him? What had happened? What was going on...

He made it up to the seventh floor corridor and made his way along. A few students were to be found sitting and talking or just passing through.. but it was relatively quiet. He kept on walking until he saw Andy. He went to walk forward and greet her.. ask her why he hadn't seen her... but the look she now had stopped him dead in his tracks. She was different... and he didn't like it one bit.

He took a slow step forward so that the distance between them was only a few meters and searched her face and eyes for something.. he found it not. He stood there silently and waited until she noticed him.. if she would..

 

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

Grim sat up on her lap and began to yelp excitedly, Andy stroked him gently as she turned her head only to see the very person of her thoughts. She opened her mouth to say something but had to clamp it shut again quickly, she couldn't even bring herself to smile. She had done enough of that yesterday when she'd tried out for the quidditch team, the sheer exhilaration of flying had knocked her senseless for a while. At least that was what she was telling herself.

Eventually she found her tongue and managed to speak.
"Carlisle" his name didn't trip off her tongue as it usally did but felt more weighed down as if she had all the problems of the world laid bare at her feet. But they were only her problems and she would not shared them with anyone else. Too many people got hurt around her, it was as simple as that. She would spare him, no doubt his sisters would be totally thrilled.

She looked back out the window, not knowing how she was to do this. How she was to begin or in this case end it.

 

[Carlisle Moonlight]

Carlisle waited for her to say something after she had noticed him. After a while she only seemed to be able to say one word 'Carlisle'. And it wasn't the happy..relieved greeting he would have liked. It was weighed down.. like a mind full of two many problems and he was just another that must be dealt with.

He moved over silently and sat beside her, his eyes trailing out through the window to the scenery beyond. He felt wrong... Things seemed to quiet and lifeless..So.. Grey.. He sat there motionless and silent for a few minutes more before saying in just over a murmur, "Andy..." His eyes never left the window in front of him though his mind was far from the scenery to behold. "Where have you been..?".

 

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

Andromeda turned her head away as he sat down with her, she knew he had a sense when something was not right with her but Andy had to steel herself for the inevitable. Had to or she would never go through with any of this. Everyone she ever cared about left her, got hurt in some way. Her father, her uncle, her grandfather all had died. Her mother had left her, Brian had given up on her and she kept hurting Zuka with all the feelings she expressed. Hardening herself, becoming nothing more than stone would save them all from her. Especially Carlisle.
"I've been around" she needed to keep everything simple, not drag things out. If he hurt at all it would be for a short while only, hopefully.

"Carlisle" she turned her head to face him," I need to speak with you".

 

[Carlisle Moonlight]

"I need to speak with you".

"Hm.." His mind flashed through all the topics that could make her like this.. Everything crossed his mind. Though one topic.. just one, kept nagging at him.. Not matter how many times he pushed it away. Though, why? What reason would she have. He wanted to look at her but he was scared.. actually scared of what he would find.. So he just sat there.. Trying to look as passive as possible as he pretended to watch the scenery.

"May I ask what about..?" He kept his eyes ahead. . He knew she was looking at him. But.., He would not, could not.. look. It could just be she needs to leave for abit..or..or.. maybe.. oh I don't know you idiot of a boy.. just wait... His thoughts went along those lines.. Trying to figure out a perfectly fine reason for her behavior and the sound in her voice.

 

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

Andy took a deep breath this was indeed so much harder than she had thought it would be. She wanted nothing more than to be close to him but she could feel the wall she had built constricting around what was left of her heart. Was there a spell out there that could freeze it so she simply didn't have to feel anything?
He wouldn't look at her and that made what she had to do easier, not by much but some at least.

She looked down at the dog in her arms and stroked it gently. Fast and painless, just get it over and done with. He won't thank me for it no matter how it is done. He didn't need to know about her uncle, he didn't need to know how she needed to close herself off, shut herself down.

Steeling herself she tried to make her voice sound as edgey, cool and detached as possible.
"I think we should ... call it a day.. on us I mean. Break up."

 

[Carlisle Moonlight]

"I think we should ... call it a day.. on us I mean. Break up."

Carlisle closed his eyes slowly and let out the faintest chuckle.. Though you could already tell it was hollow. "That must be the most brilliant break up line i've heard" The colour from his face and flesh had already drained from his face and he was left with an empty feeling drawing on him. 'Call it a day'.. Such a simple line to cut off something so important.. well.. at least to him it was. Kinda like Goliath being taken out by a pebble.. He was expecting something..well he didn't exactly know what he would expected of his break up with Andy.. But it certainly wasn't using a line that just sounded like he was a fun thing to play with for a while but.. As the sun was setting he would be packed away like everything else.. Useles.. forever more.

He opened his eyes that now seemed a much duller blue. He pulled himself up to his feet slowly and looked over at Andy.. though it almost killed him to do it.. "Well.. I hope I provided something you didn't have before you met me... even if it may end now" He turned slowly and looked down the Grey.. timeless....lifeless corridor. Perhaps once he reached the end of it everything would be ok again.. who knew how long it would take..

 

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

Andromeda had to fight every inch of her that wanted to stand up and say 'I didn't mean it, don't pay any attention to me. I 'm a fool going through some major crap right now and not dealing with any of it really well.'
But she didn't, she couldn't. The wall had been well and truly built, this was simply the last and most final nail in her own coffin. Once this break up was final then she could wallow in her own misery, her own abject loneliness instead of inflicting herself on anyone else ever again. He deserved more than her, deserved so much better than her. She wished he would find that some one soon, breaking up with him was so he would not be hurt by being with her but she could see that she was hurting him now by simply saying it the way she had.

Steeling herself once more as he stood up and looked at her, his eyes were so blue now. Her own amber ones were flat and dead, no more life behind the eyes that once had burnt with so much life, passion and energy. She had to be cruel just a moment longer and then he could be on his way to getting over her.
"It's not an 'if we may break up' Carlisle it is us breaking up now" if the wall wasn't surrounding the battered shell she had once considered her heart she knew it would be bleeding, breaking crumbling, begging her to stop doing this to him but she had to keep going.

"It's time I moved on".

 

[Carlisle Moonlight]

"It's not an 'if we may break up' Carlisle it is us breaking up now"


The words struck him so much that he flinched with a slightly pained expression. Did she think he didn't realize that.? God.. hadn't she destroyed his heart enough already. For the first time of his life.. He wasn't on his pure little crack of light... nor in the never ending seas of darkness.. He had found that Grey thread of a line that was nothing more then a limbo between states. He wasn't tempted to get angry at her...

"It's time I moved on".

Carlisle stood there silent for a few moments longer before saying in a near silent murmur, "I'm sorry I wasn't good enough to help you through your problems.." These words struggled to his mouth.. no longer did the spring to his tongue so readily and steady with as confidence as could be... Now they sounded almost pained and as if they never were meant to be made by his tongue. god this was too much .. just..a little.. longer.. "I hope sometime.. you find someone that is.." His fingertips came down to brush against the back of her hands very gently, "Goodbye Andy.." And with that he turned on his heel and started his way off. Where was he going..? the thought never even crossed his mind..

 

[Andromeda Fiorelli]

Andromeda gripped the edge of the window seat with one hand to prevent herself from reaching out to him. She bit the inside of her lip to stop herself from telling him she was a fraud, that she needed him. She could almost taste the blood as she bit down hard. He needed to be free to walk away from her. She was a jinx, bad luck. Didn't he know deep down that he was better than she? That he calmed her when no one else had been able to? He had given so much of himself to her in the last five months and she should have been a better person for it, if she didn't have this huge martyr complex hanging over her.

He said goodbye to her and walked away. Andy looked up finally watching his retreating figure. A tear she thought would not come, slowly dripped from the corner of her eye. She was so sure they had all been drained from her, obviously she had saved the last one for him. The protraits began to tutt loudly, exlaiming what a harlot she was, trivalling with the poor boys affections.
She could have left them to it, she could have blocked her ears but she didn't. She sat there looking out at the quidditch pitch, holding Grim close to her and listening to them. Knowing they were justified in what they said about her and knowing no matter what they said, it was no more than what she deserved, no more than what she said or thought about herself.