The Lies We Tell

[Stefan Archer]

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<SIZE size="50">The new term brought so many possibilities to so many. It brought a comfort, it brought a fantasy, a time away from the reality of the problems and lives outwit the walls of the strong fortress. It wasn't the first time that a place with the name Hogwarts had become a home for a certain student. Where, the four walls, and roof the place provided were more of a home than anything they'd ever felt before. Even if it was only for the seven year span of school. It was enough time to get everything adjusted, to get a true sense of the world and where the person fit in. However, for some a place that could be called home, could be the place where all of a sudden nothing seemed to fit. Where things should be getting better, but weren't. It wasn't easy, nor was it anything desirable. To be left with no real home, and the only one you'd ever felt be an example of how quickly things can change. It was a dark, and overcast day, like a lot of the days during winter. The days that made you want to drink hot chocolate, and watch bad muggle tv. All in all it was days when being indoors was most desired. But, in a world like the current one, this isn't achievable for most. For the colourblind, and extremely unfortunate Slytherin teen, his life had been one misfortune after the other. It was only his acceptance letter to Hogwarts that had even lead to the slight improvement in his quality of life and Hogwarts had become home. It was the gleaming castle of hope that had kept him going each time, he was sure he'd had reach the end. It was what kept him going. The promise of a stable home, of a future. Of a life that didn't revolve around misery, poverty and pain. The cold of the winter a painful reminder of how bad his life had turned. He wasn't like most, where one or two bad things happen. His life was a constant flow of sh1t. No matter how hard he tried to improve it, something else came and told him no. There were times, when the slytherin would just look up and feel like yelling, kicking and scream. He simply couldn't understand what he'd down to deserve the life he had gotten. There were so many pureblood, elite Slytherins in his house, who had families who committed terrible acts, and yet the most of their worries could be if their boyfriend or girlfriend cheats, if they are betrothed. They had families, money and opportunities galore, what had they done that he hadn't. Why did they have everything he so desperately wanted, and didn't half the time seem to appreciate. He knew that he was probably seeing it in an entirely different way. The outside in. The only person so have so much crap happen to him in his life, and anyone who didn't appreciate what they had made him so very angry. People who didn't understand that life was never as it seemed.

Wandering the halls of the singular place he could call home, the slytherin made sure that no matter what happened while he was at hogwarts it was better than what he had outside of it. Which at this point was a difficult thing for the Slytherin to achieve, he had nothing, so Hogwarts was the place where he had everything. An easy place where he didn't have to try too hard. Or where he knew that no matter what things would be okay. The school did however feel different. They seemed less homey. Less like how he last remembered them. It was as if, the Slytherin's outside life had finally turned his mind into thinking he didn't fit in, in Hogwarts. The place where no matter who you were you could if you tried, fit in. The halls seemed empty, cold, dark. Not the usual kind of dark he had to deal with each day, a dark that made him think that everyone was avoiding him. The colourblind teen knew it was early on in the term and people were readjusting, but hogwarts had never felt like this for him. It had always felt perfect. It had always been the place he felt safe. And while he felt safe, there was something nagging at his mind that it wasn't as safe as he so desired it to be. Part of the teen thought it had something to do with the fact that he had been to a new home in the last year. A place where the people their had meant to care about him. Meant to protect him and help him through the issues he had, and yet they'd been the exact same. Finding the faith in humanity was always a challenge. It was the simple reason why he had not trusted that hufflepuff girl and her make shift family. He'd been promised a safe place to live. A home with loving people and all he'd gotten was a roof and four walls. It had been somewhat better than being with his father, but he'd had muggle school to deal with which had not made the experience that much better than living with his father. At least with his father, it was one person, someone who at the end of the day was only one person. At the other house, the foster home, there had been the mother, the father, and all the kids at school. All in all, it had made him lose what little faith he had in the human race. He guessed that was primarily why he no longer felt so comfortable in the school. Sure, it was the one place where he had never felt the sting of the hatred of humanity. But it was only a matter of time, he was sure. After all, for this teen nothing good ever seemed to last. All he could hope for was that the people he called his friends were having better years than him. That they hadn't felt anything close to what he had had to. Sure, he knew they had their own issues, but he hoped life treated them good. His friends were the kind of people that deserved all the happiness in the world, who deserved the best hands life could serve. A little bit of foul playing was all that would be necessary for the people to build, but nothing to the extent of what he had. The terrible hand, and the terrible playing. His life had really reached a point where it could get no worse. truly the only way for his life to get worse was to lose Hogwarts, or to lose his life. Both of which he felt safe in hoping would not occur. Hogwarts seemed like the kind of place that would always be there. A home that would still exist even after he left. For all those like him who were with nothing and found what they needed in a magical building.

The quietness of the higher floors of the school, were a nice reminder to the colourblind teen that there was so much of the castle he never went to. Like the forbidden forest, or the music room. He tended to got to the places he knew and like. He tended to go outside, but after his holidays he had no desire to spend any extended period of time in the fresh air. It was a dark and overcast day. He'd had enough of those to last a while. It had been his choice to not stay at that woman's place, but he'd just been too nervous to do so. What if it had all been lies, he couldn't take another minute of it. Living around had seemed like the better option. At the time, now it seemed to him like the worst decision he could've made. Stefan hadn't felt that cold, or that alone in his life, and there had been times where all he'd been was alone. This was different, there was no break from it. It was just loneliness all the time. The colourblind teen stopped in his tracks when a bit of paper on the ground made him slip slightly. He spent a moment looking around himself, no one. His fall had been and would be a secret. He bent down and picked up the bit of paper, it was odd for him to see himself in on of the pictures, to see Kate. He had no idea what it was. Slowly the boy read through it. Taking his time, as he needed to. He felt angry at what they said about Kate, it wasn't her fault. It was silly, stupid, then he reached the part about him. To say he was annoyed about that was a completely different thing. Stefan was livid. These people who wrote that, didn't get it. They didn't know. Sure, they were somewhat right, but to publish it. He just wanted to rip the people apart. What gave them the right to publish something Stefan was to scared to really admit, something that had made his life hell for the most part of their life, and they were saying he deserved it. Stefan didn't know how to feel about that. He thought he deserved it, Kate had thought differently. The one person who had ever questioned him about deserving it. The person who really made him feel like he didn't. That he was human and that no human should be treated in such a way. What gave these people the right to say such things. A drama King. The entire thing was the lowest of blows. He just wanted to yell and scream about how it wasn't his fault, how he didn't mean for any of it, he just didn't know how he was meant to deal with those situations. He doubted any of the other people who'd written that had ever had a life like his. Had ever experienced what he'd had to experience almost every day of his life.

Instead of releasing this anger however, the slytherin sat on the very top steps of the North Tower and crumpled the paper in his hands. His hands were almost shaking he was that angry, but he couldn't let it get the better of him. He couldn't let the anger win, or the teen knew he would be no better than his father. This was just something else he would have to learn to deal with. Stefan propped his elbows on his knees and put his head into his hands. God, how stupid were these people. He didn't know why they thought anyone who had anything written about them would be happy. Why would they write things like that, about people who clearly had things to deal with. The Slytherin teen knew that very few knew who he was, they wouldn't unless they'd closely looked at the picture be able to tell it was Stefan. Or that he was the guy they were talking about. He knew that the professor wouldn't be bothered by it, but he was. He so greatly was. The colourblind teen knew that most would be able to shake it off, but it was another thing to add to the pile of terrible but true statements about his life. He knew what was written was almost completely true, and that was what bothered him the most. With his past few months he had hoped for nothing bad to happen at Hogwarts for it to remain his sanctuary, but once again life had decided that his life was not suffering enough. He knew what he needed there and then. Kate. The one girl he could trust to get his anger down, the one person he was willing to talk to about some of his issues. But he didn't know if she would still even want to speak to him. He loved her, and he just hoped she was something life wouldn't take from him.
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[Kate Archer]

Kate walked down to the Hufflepuff common room.The fire was blazing as snow covered the grounds.The window was frosted up.Kate was the only person in the room.She was wrapped in some of her warmest clothes.She sat down on the couch and looked around her.The common room was quite cosy but a bit quite.It was sad to think that she had only three years including this year left in Hogwarts.It had become a second home to her,more a home then her current one in England.Kate had been going to Hogwarts longer then she had been living in her new house in England.Hogwarts was much bigger then her house in England but the grounds space was around the same size.Kate hadn't even seen all of the land that surrounded her house in the British country-side.She had never been in some of the rooms in her house.Most were empty bed-rooms that a couple of hundred years ago would probably have been used but now they were filled with dust and they were bare and empty.The only rooms used were by her family,which in total was six.When Stefan and Micheal had been staying,eight rooms.That was the total amount of rooms used.It was a pity really because in it's hay day it probably was a beautiful house filled to the brim with people.The servants did fill it up a bit but to be honest Kate didn't see why they needed them.Not that she didn't appreciate them,they were some of the nicest people she knew but she still found it hard having the door opened for her,meals being made for her and being driven around in a limo.She sometimes preferred her old house in Ireland,where she had just lived a normal life.Well as normal as a life with magic could be.She wondered how her parents had felt when every single child of theirs could do things other children couldn't do.It must have been tough and the relief of getting the letter must have been huge.They never talked about it and Kate made a mental note to ask when she returned.

They were still worried about her and she didn't blame them.She had grown distant ever since second year,she had grown distant with the whole family.Another reason why Hogwarts felt like home.She had lots of friends here that she cared about and that she hadn't grown distant with.She had always felt more at home here.The walls of the school just made her feel more comfortable.It made her feel like nothing could harm her in between all the walls.In some cases that wasn't true but most of the time it did.the Hufflepuff common room and her dorm were her safe havens that she could always go to and not be disturbed.The music room,hogwarts garden and the rosebush were places she also felt safe in.The north tower had once been counted as her safe havens but last years she had managed to have a panic attack each time she had gone up there.The second time had inspired the story in the gossip magazine.She still tried to think back to the day and try to see who was there but the only two people who had been there were Artemis and Christopher.It was the only time she had refused to go to the hospital and the only reason for not going was because they wouldn't be able to do anything,not for attention.

The gossip magazine had made her so furious.Who ever had written it had wrote about stuff they didn't understand.Everyone in it had had their own problems and they didn't need the personal problems broad casted to the whole school.Some people were just cruel.She still wondered who they had gathered all the information.Some had all been speculation but other pieces of information would have been kept solely by the one person and it amazed her that they had managed to extract the information.It made her more wary of her fellow classmates.It had made the walls of Hogwarts seem a little less safe.The looks and secret laughing behind her back had been terrible.Never once had she thought she would be in a gossip magazine.She hoped no more came out it was unfair on who ever was in it.One of the things that had angered her most was the paragraph on Stefan.How could someone make a joke out of that?They didn't understand the full extent of it and if they were in the same situation she was sure they would feel the way Stefan was feeling.She did wonder had he seen the magazine.She hadn't seen him around lately and she hoped he was okay.She hadn't got a chance to write to him over the break,she had been busy trying to recover in hospital and then begin to organize a funeral for Micheal.She bent her head when she thought about Micheal.It had been so unexpected and so soon after being released from hospital.But she had had to keep strong for both Stefan and Sara's sake.They had been pretty shook up as had the rest of the family.When she had come home from the hospital that day she had cried in her room until her eyes had been red and raw after crying.But after that no more tears had been shed.It seemed people with the name Stefan seemed to get all the bad look in the world.Strangely enough both their stories were the same except Stefan Archer's had been more more severe.

Kate looked at the room around her.The day was brightening and she decided to go take a walk.She walked out of the warm common room.The fourth floor corridor was warm but not as warm as the common room.She put her hands into the pockets of her pocket.She made the decision to go to a place that she hadn't been to since her panic attack.She made her way up the long flight of stairs and into the North Tower.It was immediately colder as the tower was open around the sides.A slight breeze ruffled her long brown hair.It had grown much longer since third year.It reached the lower part of her back now.Her cheeks were now pink.She turned around planning on walking outside when she saw a familiar figure sitting on the steps just above her.She walked up the remaining stairs and sat down beside him.She was so glad to see him.He looked as thin as ever but Kate wasn't much better herself.There were no new bruises on him which was good.He didn't look very good at the moment though.She looked at his hands and saw a piece of crumbled in them.She looked at him before gently uncurling his fingers which were shaking and around the paper and taking it.She opened it up and her face fell.It was the page from the gossip magazine.She bit her lip,this was obviously the cause of his current state. "It's all rubbish,you know"She said quietly looking at the piece of paper in her hand.She didn't want him to believe what was on the page.It was terrible what the person had wrote and sadly the didn't realize the full extent of what they were talking about.She crumbled the piece of paper and stood up.She walked to the edge of the tower and she threw it into the breeze.It was soon blown away from sight.She turned back and looked at him.He had his head in his hands.He looked angry.She breathed out and sat beside him,she lay her head on his shoulder "Wanna talk about it?"She asked quietly.He was bottling up a lot of emotion and sometimes talking about it helped bring it out.

 

[Stefan Archer]

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<SIZE size="50">Before Stefan could even really begin to understand why someone would decide to write something of that sort, his entire body racked with emotions he attempted to bury everyday. The feeling of not being good enough, of people making a mockery of something that meant a hell of a lot to the Slytherin. It wasn't like the magazine was something he could easily brush off. It had writing in it that talked about something very personal in Stefan's life. It portrayed it as a joke, as if he played it up. As if for him it was all a game, and all for the attention of those around him. But this was far from the truth. Stefan hated it. He hated seeing the bruises on his skin, the many, many scars. The memories that could awake him from the deepest sleep. The memories that would make most people shiver with fear. This group of people had to realise it was something else. That it didn't mean what they said it meant. Stefan could feel his hands shaking. His entire body shook with sheer annoyance. He wanted to scream, to yell out. To say that it wasn't fair. None of it was, writing it as if it meant nothing wasn't fair. It was the first time in the Slytherin's life where he wished that he could swap places with the people who wrote it. In all his years, Stefan had never wished that. He had never thought that anyone else should have his life, that though it was awful and he would give anything for something better, he'd never be able to swap to get it. He knew he deserved it half the time, but that didn't mean others could write about it. He wondered if maybe they were in the same situation, if that was how they knew and how they could make a mockery of something. Glancing at the bit of paper again, Stefan didn't know what to do. Tear it up, set it on fire, find the people responsible. So many options and yet Stefan knew he could not do anything yet. His heart was racing, his breathing was heavy. He had never had to control so much anger. He could hear his father yelling in the back of his head. The memory of the time Stefan had lost his patience with his father, and his father had told him that Stefan would turn out just like him. That he would achieve nothing, and he'd always be the violent type. It was however the opposite that was true. Stefan had his moments when anger won, because he was human, but Stefan tried his best to keep it under control. He didn't want to be his father any more than his father wouldn't have desired to be him. That was fact. Stefan closed his eyes tightly, and even as his anger stayed high, he yelled the voice away. His father wouldn't win today. Not on this day. He was back at the one place he called home, the only home he had left, he didn't want to lose that, like he'd lost everything else.

Not hearing any person walk up to him, to feel his shaking hand be uncurled and the paper in it to be removed took him by surprise. A lot less than it would normally. Apparently extreme anger toned down other emotions he could feel. He kept his eyes closed, and his head in his hands. It wasn't that he didn't want to know who it was, but more that he didn't think he could do anything else without taking his anger out of the person now beside him. However, the melodic sound of the girl he loved speaking quickly brought him a close sense of calm. He opened his eyes, and then removed his head from his hands. His hands still shaking, his blue eyes glistening. A raging war within him, the calm versus the anger. "For you. For me, they are pretty much spot on, everything but the whole parents thing." Stefan's voice was low, as if he was on the verge of his anger bursting out. He didn't want it to be, but it was how it came out. He looked away as she got up. Stefan loved Kate. He could feel his inner calm winning just being around her. The thoughts of her hadn't been enough. Having her there, the only person who had never deserted him. Who had always been there. He looked at the space beneath his feet. his hands on his knees in a desperate attempt to calm down. But, he knew he'd not be able to. He felt Kate sit back down next to him, he smiled ever so slightly as she put her head on his shoulder. Without even thinking about him, he put his arm around her waist and held her close to him. Her words, did he want to talk about it? Not entirely, he just wanted to get calm, for everything to feel like it had maybe an hour before. Stefan did realise that just sitting in silence thinking about it, wasn't actually going to help him. He gathered his thoughts, he couldn't really find the words through his anger. He didn't want to be angry in front of Kate. What if he scared her. What if she walked away because she like him, believe in the article being right. Stefan wanted to tell Kate that what they'd said about her was completely off. That she was beautiful, that they were talking complete bullsh!t. Thinking about her article made the anger in him even greater. So, like always, Stefan decided he needed to be selfish about it.

"I just." Stefan tried to start. He wasn't able to find the words to describe how he was feeling. How to say how he felt. How to describe how hard it was to find the motivation to move on. "I have lived through what they joked about. Reading it, it made me. I just. It makes me." Stefan shook his head slightly, looking down at the beautiful girl beside him, he couldn't find the right words. He just wanted to tell her how trivial it made his life sound, how apparently easy it made it sound. He wanted to say, it makes me want to give up. But those words couldn't form themselves. "I have lost everything. I have nothing. I am nothing, useless. A waste of space."

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[Kate Archer]

Kate had once been very sure of herself.She wouldn't have let anyone tell her different.She had been completely confident in everything about herself.But over the past few years,she had changed in ways she had never thought she would.She didn't have that certainty about herself anymore.She was almost a bit insecure.Luckily she still dind't listen to anything abyone said about her.So what if they called her a Drama Queen,maybe she was and that was just part of who she was and she wasn't going to change it just because it annoyed people.If someone annoyed her she didn't ever want them to change their personality,she just ignored them which is what some people should have done in her case.Nobody is perfect and everyone has their own flaws but that's what makes you human.Some people's flaw went under the radar and maybe they weren't so bad but she couldn't help the fact that her flaw was being a bit dramatic.She wasn't the only ones,anybody who was into theater was dramatic.In her case,she had been called a drama queen for no valid reason.Why on God's name would she make up a disease and pretend to be sick,in all honesty,just because some people's lives are plain and uneventful doesn't mean other people's are.She hadn't asked for the fact that she had refused to get to the hospital wing be written in the magazine,and the only reason she hadn't gone was because they wouldn't have been able to do anything,she would of just wasted their time.As Kate was thinking about this she was getting more p"ssed.Some people just didn't have respect for people's secret's anymore.Lets see how they would feel if the roles were reversed,maybe they wouldn't be so quick to judge or write it in a magazine.She would love to see them experience every single thing everyone in that magazine had gone through and see if they were so smart afterwards.

Kate's hand shook slightly as she was thinking.She closed her eyes briefly and took a breath,when she opened them again she had calmed down.Stefan hadn't though "Well,who ever wrote it is stupid,selfish and totally naive"She said firmly.Once wouldn't write about those sort of things if they had experienced something like that themselves or else they were just cruel and liked to see other people suffer.She smiled when she felt his arm go around her waist and bring her closer.She could feel and see that he was very angry and she didn't blame him.They had made both his life and her's sound like a joke but it was more serious in Stefan's case.Kate still found it hard to believe that someone could make a joke of someone who had been beaten up at home,that just wasn't a sane person would ever joke about it.Even if they didn't have the full idea of what was happening,you didn't write about it like a joke for the whole school to see.What had been written about Sapphire and all those love stories and what not had just been ridiculous.In a way she understood why those kind of stories had been written as they were in most gossip magazines,in the muggle world there were loads of gossip magazines on the latest stories with the celebrities but never once had she read something that was based on truth and not nice truth.Something bad had happened in Kate in second year,she wasn't sure what had made her body reject food like that,it was a mystery to her and she never wanted a problem like that.Last year,for half of the year she had known what was wrong with her and the getting sick after eating had only happened in the second part of the year,yet she had lost an enormous amount of weight,if she hadn't gone through anything in second year she probably would have lost the weight a lot more slowly but due to those circumstances that weight had practically fallen off her.Not being able to sleep and having high stress levels all the time hadn't helped either.The chances of Kate getting that sick ever again was very slim but she would always be prone to high stress levels.Even though the tumor had been removed,her adrenals would never be right again.She wasn't supposed to put herself under lots of pressure.The weight was coming back,even though it was a slow process.

The two of them had been in silence for a while,both thinking.Finally Stefan spoke and she looked up at him as he did.What he said made her heart fell,no way could he believe they were right.It didn't make sense,none at all.It was complete bull.No one's life especially Stefan's should be joked about.She was not letting Stefan believe he was a waste of space because in no way was he.If she could she would be making sure who ever wrote the magazine was never able to write again. "You listen to be Stefan Archer"She said her tone firm.She sat up and faced him,her face dead serious. "In no way are you a waste of space or nothing,you are something"She said "Someone who is a waste of space,just floats through life and doesn't ever feel anything,they have no one to love them and they don't care about anyone. You have people who care for you,Sara,Willow,Tara and other people,the list might be smaller then other people's but they still care for you.And let's face it,with what happened to you,you were going to find it hard to make friends.Stefan you have me,you mean so much to me.And you mean a lot to everyone else I've mentioned.Who ever wrote that blasted magazine is a nobody and they don't deserve to ever be loved because what they wrote is cruel and your life is not a joke.You have gone through things Anonymous can't even begin to imagine and I to get it through your head that you are something and you are not a waste of space"Kate said taking a big breath and she was being very serious.Stefan meant the world to her,she loved him and right now she wanted to shout it up to the rooftops so he would know that he wasn't a waste of space and to let him know he wasn't alone and he shouldn't listen to anything RHI said. "Stefan"she said softly "You are so special to me,I..."She wanted to say she loved him but she suddenly got embarrassed and her cheeks flushed red. "Please,just believe me when I say that once people in the world care for you and you care for people,you have a place in the world like everybody else.I'd love for RHI to be in your place for a week and he/she wouldn't be so smart,they probably wouldn't last a week never mind twelve to fourteen years"She said her eyes pleading,she really wanted him to understand and take in what she was saying.

 

[Stefan Archer]

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<SIZE size="50">Who ever had written it, couldn't have done it alone, Stefan knew this. It couldn't have been one person, there had to be a little team of them, all willing to get into the nitty gritty of the school and come together in writing what made most people feel like they meant nothing, that their private lives were no longer meant to be private despite their lack of status or people knowing who they were. Stefan had to assume that before the article most did not know his name, and now he’d forever be known as the guy from the magazine whose parents hit him. Everything seemed to make more sense now. Why Hogwarts hadn't felt like home in the same way that it had in previous years. Stefan had figured because it was now the only home he had left, and that his mind was convinced he'd lose it too no matter how hard he tried to keep it. It wasn't that after all, it was simply that Hogwarts knew about him. Sure the place was in the end just a castle, but it was magical and the people within it know knew his dirty little secret. Though most would claim that it wasn't a secret he should've kept secret, he hadn't ever known anything different, what he'd felt at home was what he was sure most felt, it wasn't until he'd hit the double digits that he'd been watching the tv and seen that parents were not meant to be like that. That the sole guardian was the reason he was scared and the reason he had felt like nothing from the moment he could remember to right there with Kate. No matter how much people know could convince him he still knew that he was worthless in comparison to all those around them. He'd never really been able to admit it until now. He wanted his father to wrong, so badly that he'd just kept it a secret until the very moment that someone had taken that away from him. No longer was it his thing to admit. Someone had done it for him. People would know, and that was not what he wanted. He had always thought that when the time was right, when he was comfortable to admit it, he'd say something. He'd come forward about the horrors his own father put him through. How much it hurt to think about and yet, now his father was dead, he still missed the man. It had been his last remaining flesh and blood.

As far as Stefan was aware he had no more family. Neither had ever talked about other family he could, they hadn't mentioned any family, there were no pictures. He didn't know if his father or his mother had a family or if them they were gone. Stefan had no idea that he had cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents. He had an entire family who had no idea of his existences, but of whom most were still searching for their lost members unaware of what had become of them. They had no idea that Stefan existed, they had known his mother to have been pregnant at the time, but not that Stefan was what had become of their family members, he was hardly the poster boy for functioning families. Although, it was why he had always been curious about it. Stefan had a New Zealand-ish accent, whereas his father had what he could describe as a possible American accent. The few Americans sounded like he did. He had never asked if his family was from New Zealand, or Australia, his father had been too closed off and he'd never had the right courage to get up and say to his father that he wanted to know who was in his family. The family he had placed into after had not been much better. There had been constant yelling, their family was as dysfunctional as the rest and yet they were allowed to let children into their home. He'd been the only one their at the time but not the first. He had been promised a family who would treat him well, one that would care for him, but it had been worse than before, and these people had reason to hate him. They hadn't known he was colourblind, or a wizard, all they had known was that his father had tried to kill him, and was now dead. They had hated him, and they had made him feel just as bad. At least they hadn't heard about that. He dearly hoped that they hadn't somehow heard that his father was now also dead, or that he was technically homeless. It was his news to tell, and while he had few to tell it to, it wasn't like he wanted them all to know that his life had well and truly hit the lowest point it could. The single positive he could take from this was that his life could not in anyway get any worse. There was no way that could happen. He had no family, no home, and he owned next to nothing. The only things left were school and the people in it. He couldn't lose them. They weren't something he could lose. "They are probably just a little bored, or in a similar situation." Stefan muttered in response. He couldn't help but wonder why he'd been picked to write about, he was just some guy in amongst what had to be hundreds. People with stratospherically more interesting lives. He was just some kid with a bad parent. He meant nothing, or so he thought. He doubted that anyone would really miss him if he just left. Things would always just go on without him, without a mere glance back, he knew that was his fate, he just had never ever wanted to be able to admit it. Not to Kate, not to anyone. It was why he'd said those words to her. A basic, I give up on pretending I matter sort of thing. An, I'll just go now.

The words that she spoke to him, were not ones he'd ever heard directed at him, his mind searched for another possible meaning. No one had ever really tried to convince him that he meant anything. Sure, maybe his friends had hinted at it, but they'd never said it. Or he was sure he would remember. He had never really be anything but a bother to people. With Kate, it was different, with her words, he realized he still had someone. He had her, and in all honesty he knew all he needed would be her. She would always make him happy. It didn't matter what she did, or how she did it, she would just make him happy, and that would always be the end of that. Her smile, her had, the way she made his life full of the color it had always lacked. He felt his cheeks warm as she said that he meant something to her, for the first time in his life, he felt like he did. Like if he always had her by his side, nothing would seem impossible any more. you have a place in the world just like everyone else Stefan who'd always tried to avoid as much as possible crying in front of others didn't know how on earth he would continue to keep his eyes from watering. On so many occasions this girl in front of him, had saved his life. He owed her so much. "If it were not for you Kate Moon, I probably wouldn't be here right now." He leaned away slightly, looking down to her eyes. He smiled, the first real smile he'd had in a long while and without giving much thought to him, he leaned in, paused, and then kissed Kate on the lips. He loved her so much, he owed her so much. And this kiss was long overdue.​

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[Kate Archer]

Kate hadn't ever thought that she had drawn attention to herself.She had never thought anyone had noticed her changing.She hadn't made a big deal of it,she had only told her friends.No one had ever said anything to her either,sure she had gotten a few looks but nothing had ever been said and who ever Anonymous was had obviously been here when she was in second year,hopefully they would be gone this year,the school would be a better place once they left.Kate just didn't really understand how her life was any interest to students in the school,maybe they just wanted to humiliate them and again,she wondered why her? Some people didn't understand that she didn't purposely want the attention or drama,not her fault she got sick or something snapped in her head.Mentally she was pretty okay,actually she was perfect,physically she was on the road.Stefan had helped a lot during the past year,she still remembered the two of them practicing to dance on the lakefront,memories like those had helped pass the time in hospitals.Being weak and stuck in a hospital bed wasn't exactly exciting,it had been very boring.She never wanted to go into one again,she sometimes still smelled the that smell that is always everywhere in the hospital.Smell of sickness and anti-sceptic.Most of the hospital staff had been nice and supportive but there has always been those one of two nurses would would be rough and strict and stern.But really she had been too tired and weak to care.

During her stay in the hospital,relations had become sticky with her parents,these days she just found them annoying and too protective,she knew she was being unfair and that the only reason they were doing what they were doing was because they were worried for her but still,it nearly drove her up the wall.She wouldn't be competely healthy again,she was going to have check ups to make sure everything was alright and what not and she was going to have to do them by herself one day and they wouldn't be there.They had to get her ready for when she would be facing the world by herself,she did only have two years of school left.She did love her parents and she appreciated the fact that they had been so supportive but she felt as if they had taken a step too far and she just wanted to do things by herself.Hopefully they would understand soon and things would smoothen out between them all,their family would never be complete again.With herself and Sara even though things were quite good,Ryan seemed to have cut himself off completely and she could see it affected Star and then they just seemed to be growing apart.Maybe in a couple of years time they would all come back and patch things up or something.Kate wasn't sure where their destinies lay there. "Yeah"She said sighing, she hoped karma would strike back and hit hard,RHI deserved a whole lot of it.

Kate could see that her words had broken through,he looked rather shocked and emotional.Kate looked up at him and smiled.She was totally relieved that he believed her because she was right.He was something and he totally deserved a space as much as anyone else in the world did. Everyone is part of something,something you do could have an affect on thousands of lives or vica versa or maybe it will affect your family,community,friends.What ever decision you make will affect someone,unless you live a lone like a hermit but there aren't much of them in the world.Stefan made her happy,he made her smile.She loved him completely and she knew with him,everything would be okay,things would work out.She smiled but it was a confused smile,she wasn't completely sure what he meant but she knew it was something special.Her smiled widened when she saw a real genuine smile on his face.She watched as he leaned in,her brain not totally processing what was happening before he kissed her.Kate was momentarily surprised but with out thinking she kissed back.It brought back memories of that evening by the train station,so much had happened since then.She felt like this kiss had been overdue and after what seemed like a long time but probably only a few seconds,they broke away.Kate smiled at him sh held his hand.She wasn't very sure what to say,there was so much she wanted to say but her mouth couldn't form the words. Finally her mouth formed the words before she could process what they meant "I love you Stefan"She said,her eyes widened when she realized what she had said but instead of blushing she put her hand around his waist and lay her head on his shoulder.

 

[Stefan Archer]

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<SIZE size="50">Love is a foreign concept for some. It's hard to identify true love. It's hard to tell someone what they are feeling isn't love when they will believe so strongly that it is. For a very long time, Stefan Archer believed he loved his father. He believed that his father loved him. That it was his way of showing that to him. It was his way of telling him that he was important to the elder man. He realized later that what his father showed him wasn't loved. It was everything but that. Stefan hadn't really ever felt real love. Love that he could just say was love. That it was true, that it was pure, simple. That the feeling in his heart when he saw her smile was because he loved her and not just because he was desperately trying to hide everything about him. Stefan had no idea what friendship had felt like before hogwarts. He had no idea what it felt like to be accept despite many flaws. He had always thought he needed to be perfect. Be the little Archer, son of a man who despised looking at him. Be as strong as he could despite everything. Be able to pretend to be normal against the black and white knowledge that he wasn't. He was colourblind, he was alone, he was homeless. He had Kate. That was it. And while having Kate was the best feeling in the world, he couldn't always pretend that it felt like enough. Sure, while with her, he loved her so much that the thought of being without her hurt him so much. When he thought he'd see her again he had felt like his heart had been ripped out. He'd cried so hard, that he had eventually run out of tears. He had never really cried over his father's beatings, over his mother's death, over his father's death quite in the same way that he'd shed tears over feeling like he had maybe lost his closest friend. It was now, in this moment with her at his side, that he realized it was love. He loved her so much. Everything about her. She was perfect in his eyes. She could lose more weight, or even gain more and he would love her. He loved her for her. For her smile, for the way she made him feel. For the way she laughed and how she sung so perfectly. For her loyalty and her bravery. Because no matter how bad things got for her, she was always there to help pick him up. He didn't know how anyone could not possible love Kate Moon. She was beautiful inside and out. He found it easy to look to her for strength, knowing that as long as she kept getting back up so could he. Even now, looking down at her as she wrapped her arm around his waist he'd felt so angry moments before but, she'd brought him back. He thought that with her, things would eventually work out for him. That he would be able to get better. The kiss had sealed it somehow. It had spark and it had felt amazing in a way he'd felt before. Like he was just another teen in just another teen love story. She was so perfect, he didn't always know why she was with him half the time.

"I' He started. Could he actually mutter those words to someone. Could he say them to a person who was alive. Sure he muttered them to his mother a lot, but he didn't know her. He didn't remember her, here was Kate, alive and in the flesh. The person who kept him going when he was sure that everyone else had turned their back on him. The one girl that he could ever imagine himself with forever. "I love you too." The words were quiet, though he didn't blush or regret saying it. Instead his mind rushed through all they'd been through together. How much he had tried to hide who he was, what his life was like from her, and he'd been so unsuccessful, that she now more less knew how terrible his life had been. She'd probably never know the nightmares he had, but he was glad he'd met her that evening. He was glad she was the one who kept by him when he tried to push people away. That she was the one who'd helped him when he'd gotten wet in the rain and his father had left him lying on the ground as he drove away. At every turn she was their and he would be eternally grateful to her. Stefan suddenly was scared. What if he did something to drive her away. He didn't know what, but he wouldn't put it past himself to do something like that. She was the most perfect girl, and he was the most broken of guys. He was scared, if he actually let his guard down and really fell more for this girl than he already had, he didn't know if he could take her leaving him just like all others had. He knew she would in the end but he didn't think he could handle it. He had been in love. Never had anyone express love to him. He was worried, what if the muggles found him. Dragged him back to another family who wouldn't let him be near Kate. He loved her, and he didn't want to not have the option of seeing her everyday. "I' He kissed her head and stood up. "I love you so much. You mean everything to me. I can't stand the thought of not being with you. But, I'm so scared." For the first, Stefan was actually saying how he thought, he was feeling in those very seconds. "I'll just let you down again. Something will tear us apart. Plus, if we end up together, I'll probably pass on the colorblindness. What if I become like my father? I love you, but we, we can't." Stefan was losing sense, he loved her so much. Every time he said he felt more in love with her. But he didn't want to hold her back. He didn't want to be the guy who wasn't always there. Who wasn't the ray of sunshine in her life. He kissed the top of her head before turning and leaving. He hated himself for making this decision for not being able to just follow his heart, dive right into something pure and good. Something that would make him smile for days on end. For the shot at true happiness, just because he was scared of breaking her heart, and having his torn into many pieces. It wasn't logical thinking. But, Stefan he was so tired of losing everyone he didn't want to lose her, in his eyes, he was cursed. Every person who ever loved him had turned against him, or left, he didn't want to lose her, though in a way, he was sure, he just had.
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